we're back now with more of "today" on a hot and muggy thursday morning, 24th of september 2009. nice day to be in new york city, heart of midtown manhattan. we're glad a lot of nice folks are joing us. also joining us, the fabulous tamron hall. >> good to see you. >> nice to see you. >> thanks for having me back. >> you bet. natalie's on assignment. matt had to sneak out earlier. actually, didn't want to have anything to do with tamron. >> rumor is he didn't want to be out here with me. >> no, he has an assignment to work. coming up this half hour, john travolta taking the stand in an extortion trial linked to his son jett's tragic death in january. we're going to get those details coming up just ahead. plus, more with mackenzie phillips. a riveting interview with meredith in the last hour. well, the "one day at a time" star's brutally frank new memoir details drug use starting at 11 years old, hard-core addiction by her late teens and a long-standing sexual

relationship with her father, the mamas and papas' john phillips. >> unbelievable what she is revealing about her life. also, women and heart health. if you can believe this, 37% of women die from heart disease, cardiovascular disease. the number is stunning. what's even more stunning is in 2005, al, 450,000 women were killed from the disease, and women often ignore the signs -- caring for family members, your spouse, your children. well, we've got some information. hopefully, we're going to change that trend by telling you what they look for. >> that's right. and we also, our fabulous "today's kid reporter," right, coming up. >> yeah. looking for a kid reporter. "today's kid reporter." i think the tape should be about a minute. >> yes. >> do your best. don't report anything that your parents wouldn't want let out of the house. >> yeah, probably not a good idea. >> you want to keep the secrets in the house, but get out there, explore your neighborhood and submit your tape. >> that's right. you should mail them to "today's kid reporter," 30 rockefeller plaza, new york, new york,

10112. >> yes. >> official rules are posted on todayshow.com. >> pretty awesome. now let's get a check on the top stories from ann curry, who's inside the studio. good morning, ann. >> all right, tamron, thank you so much. and al, good morning once again, everybody, to you. in the news, president obama heads to the meeting of the united nations security council, aiming for a treaty to curb nuclear weapons with pledges of support from russia and china. on wednesday, he told the u.n. general assembly that world leaders must also cooperate to combat poverty and climate change and also pursue peace in the middle east. this afternoon, the president flies to pittsburgh, where police are bracing for protestors who may try to disrupt the g-20 economic summit. there is potential milestone to report in the fight against aids. this morning, government researchers in thailand said for the first time an experimental vaccine has been shown to reduce the risk of hiv infection by more than 30%. the finding is a result of the world's largest aids vaccine trial, and top u.s. health

officials say they are now cautiously optimistic about developing an effective vaccine. as we heard earlier from al, emotional testimony from john travolta in the trial of two people who are accused of trying to extort $25 million from him in the days following his son's death. travolta took the witness stand wednesday for the first time, testifying that he franticly performed cpr on his son, jett, after the 16-year-old suffered a seizure at their vacation home in the bahamas. it was also the first time travolta said publicly that his son had autism. one of those accused of extortion is a former bahamian senator. heavy rains have triggered flooding and landslides in northeastern turkey. it has caused at least five deaths, but a 3-year-old child was pulled alive from a collapsed house. one day after a dust storm that could be seen from space, sydney, australia, is now cleaning up. machines and muscles are working overtime to clean up tons of reddish-brown grit and car washes are running nonstop.

it is now three minutes past the hour. let's get another check of the weather from al. all right, we've got tamron hall standing by. >> yeah. >> you're very excited. you saw a sign -- >> waco, texas, my home state, but not my hometown. >> what's your hometown? >> i was born in looling, texas, and this lady said the big city, because there's only about 200 people. but go texas! >> the pride of looling. let's check your weather, see what's happening. we'll show you for today, we're looking at wet weather working its way from the gulf coast all the way up into the upper mississippi river valley. good news is things stay dry in georgia, where they have just gotten inundated. clouds in the pacific northwest. the heat continues in the southwest, up and down the eastern >> temperatures above normal again today. the cold front is, the move. nicer and drier conditions by tonight. beautiful for tonight.

>> and where are you nice folks from? >> i'm paul from chicago. >> mandy overton from disappoew, illinois. >> and you match today. like the color. now let's go back inside to ann. >> announcer: "today's health" is brought to you by abbott, a promise for life. >> al, thanks. this morning on "today's daily dose," taking health to heart. too many women still think of heart disease as a man's disease, but in fact, it is the leading cause of death among women, killing twice as many in the united states of all cancers combined. nbc's chief medical editor dr.

nancy snyderman is here with the risk factors and symptoms we need to know. dr. nancy, good morning. >> hi, ann. >> a lot of us think about breast cancer, but not the thing that's most likely to kill us. >> cardiovascular disease is the biggest killer in the country. we worry about breast and ovarian cancer, but every woman needs to worry about her heart. >> basically, it kills 1 in 30 women. >> right. and one in two women will likely have heart disease. >> so, you know, why -- is there any evidence that it's actually increasing in women, in fact, more than we -- we think of it as something that men have. >> we think of 40 and 50-year-old men. i think that's part of the problem. so, one, we are seeing an increase in heart disease because of the obesity rise, high blood pressure issues. so, yes, it's going up, but also, we're finally paying attention to the fact that heart disease isn't just a guy's disease. and especially for women after menopause, the rates really go up. >> why do they go up after menopause? >> there's probably some hormonal protection when we're younger, and, you know, bodies age. so, it's a series of things, but

it's a reason why most women will have problems later in life. >> let's talk about what happens to the heart during heart attack. >> very simply, you know, your heart has its own blood supply, those coronary arteries. and when we have plaque build-up, that cholesterol from eating bad foods through our lives, it creates sort of this sticky area inside the artery, that plaque. and then as the blood vessels get through, they just sort of nick it, and it's almost like a piece of velcro, boom. a plaque, a clot starts. and when that happens, your heart has to be harder. and that area you see in purple is, in fact, the area of the heart that now is not getting its own blood supply. it dies. you have the symptoms of a heart attack. >> you have an e-mail question from eileen in pennsylvania. she asks dr. nancy, "how important is your weight and family history in evaluating your risk factors for heart disease?" >> i think the biggest thing for women to know is know your waist circumference. for women, you cannot have a waist larger than 35 inches. if you do, if that's your

genetics, then you'll at least talk to your doctor about it, because your waist really is a good indication of whether you have that toxic fat underneath that secretes its own hormones and chemicals and can put your body at risk. weight absolutely is a concern. then, of course, as you know, any time you have diabetes, your risk of heart disease goes up incrementally. >> the other thing, too, is a lot of people, when they have their first heart attack, it's their last, especially for women. one in six die. >> right. >> so understanding t ining syme important. >> and the symptoms are not the same as men, where you think of an elephant sitting in my chest. look at these. overwhelming exhaustion. what woman do you know isn't overwhelmingly exhausted? but if you intuitively say this is different, you go see your doctor. shortness of breath really common. >> and not because you're running or something, just walking around. >> or going up simple steps at home. chest discomfort which may not be the same as a guy with that big, big, big pressure on your chest. and any kind of pain or

discomfort that goes to your jaw or the back of your back. some women will say it's like breathing in icy cold air. it's almost a pain in your back. so, any of those things put together, especially if you have a family history or if you're a cigarette smoker or have high blood pressure, you have to play it safe. >> also on your list i notice, sweating. people going through menopause do sweat. so in other words, when you said -- >> it's the combination of symptoms. >> so if you have one of those, you don't have to worry so much, but the pain down your back -- >> if you're suddenly uber exhausted, short of breath going up steps and breaking out in a fine mist all the time, your heart may in fact be taxed. >> we have jennifer in ft. myers, florida, with a question. hey, jennifer, what's your question? >> caller: yes, sometimes i get a rapid heartbeat when i try to calm down, then it almost feels like my heart stops. i don't know if it's anxiety. it's not common. it's usually -- the latest time was i was about to start a new job. >> you know, that's happened to me several times. a lot of times it's after i go

to bed and there's sort of this cascade through your body and you realize your heart is beating abnormally. happens at different stages in women's lives and can absolutely be related to stress. so, if with this new job, you still find that happening to yourself, check with your doctor just to be safe, but it's not uncommon, and stress can absolutely do that over a short time. >> all right, jennifer, thank you for your question. we also have a question from amy in arizona. she asks, "i'm 32 years old and i am fighting high blood pressure. i am pretty active, as i am training for a half marathon. if i am eating right and exercising, what is causing my high blood pressure?" >> for some people, it's sheer genetics, and high blood pressure is the silent killer in this country. if there's one thing that every 20-year-old needs to know in this country -- because 20-year-olds think they're invincible -- know your waist circumference, know your blood pressure. a lot of people, especially african-americans, are more predisposed to abnormally high blood pressure, and it's like trying to push too much water through a garden hose. something's going to break.

if you do that to your heart and your brain, and something's going to burst. so, know your blood pressure. 120 over 80 is to me the absolute highest number. try to keep it lower. and if even through diet and exercise you can't keep it lower, maybe think about medication. >> i'm thinking about, you know, it's so difficult. we women have struggled so hard to make sure our waists are smaller and not have to deal with this problem. we've been hearing over and over again about this toxic weight. what is the one thing, if you could just tell women to do one thing that might help them in this regard? you know, start walking, eat less butter. what would be your advice? >> forget the word exercise, because i think we've stigmatized it. if you don't like gyms, don't go to gyms. just walk. our forefathers were not fat. why? they ate what they needed for fuel to get through the day and then they burned it off. go walk, breathe, chill. really chill. because it takes a lot out of our lives. >> i'm stressed out. >> and if you're overweight, see what 5% or 10% of your weight

looks like. you don't have to do anything overnight. every three to five pounds you knock off, your heart, your lungs, your brain all take a break. this is an incremental change in life. what we don't want to have happen is more women dying unnecessarily. >> dr. nancy snyderman, always trying to take good care of us. thank you very much. >> thanks, ann. still to come today, if you ever wondered what your dreams meant, we'll tell you how to find out. but up next, more with child star and newly clean and sober mackenzie phillips, coming up. still out of line? de then you may not be seeing the whole picture. ask your doctor about trilipix. statin to lower bad cholesterol, along with diet, adding trilipix can lower fatty triglycerides and raise good cholesterol to help improve all three cholesterol numbers. trilipix has not been shown to prevent heart attacks or stroke more than a statin alone. trilipix is not for everyone, including people with liver, gallbladder, or severe kidney disease, or nursing women. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take and

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on arrival." mackenzie phillips, thank you for staying with us. >> thank you. >> you were born the daughter of susie and john phillips, late singer of the '60s band mamas and the papas, left your mother for a 16-year-old, michelle phillips, when you were 2 years old. you were raised in this kind of crazy lifestyle. at what point did you realize that this isn't normal, this is not the way life is supposed to be? >> well, when you're little like that, i mean, you really, you know, you're kind of affected by your environment, and you know, no matter what situation you grow up in, that's what you think everybody lives, and then, you know, once you have some distance on it -- probably when i was, you know, 14? maybe 12 or 13, i realized that, you know, it wasn't like this for everybody. >> right. were there any adults -- did at any point some adult in your life say, you know, this is wrong, this is not the way a child should be growing up? >> i think that my aunt rosie -- my aunt rosie was in personnel at the pentagon -- my father's

sister -- and she moved to los angeles after she retired and sort of moved into my dad's house and said, let's get these kids in shape, you know, and this is wrong and tried to impose some rules, you know. >> but it didn't take. >> she did the best she could, you know. i think the main thing i can say about the people around me when i was growing up is what they had to work with. they were doing the best that they could. >> right. you know, earlier in the program, you talked about what many people have really grabbed onto in the book about this incestuous relationship with your dad. >> yes. >> the night before you're supposed to get married, you wake up in bed with your father, and you say he raped you. >> you know, for want of a better word. i mean, a molestation, a rape, whatever you want to call it. but it certainly was not a consensual act at that point. >> and it develops into what you call a consensual relationship down the road. >> yes, over time, yes, over a long period of time in the consensual aspect of it.

the way it's been disseminated in the past day is that it was a ten-year consensual incestuous relationship, where that's not the case. it started out as a nonconsensual incestuous relationship and then things occurred during drug-fueled things where i would wake up disheveled and wonder what the heck happened here. >> right. >> and then maybe for the last two years of this, it was a consensual relationship. i really feel like i need to make that clearer, because people are saying i had a ten-year affair with my father, which certainly wasn't the case. >> right. you ended it when you discovered you were pregnant and you weren't sure whether it was your father's or your husband's. >> that's correct. >> but then you go on, you have a little boy named shane. >> that's correct. >> and during that time, you say at least for six months of your pregnancy, you were on heroin. >> no, i wasn't, i was on cocaine. >> well -- >> well, i was taking -- >> a number of things. >> yes. i didn't use heroin until the last several years. >> when you were doing that, i

mean, in that -- did you worry about shane's health? >> yes, of course. i mean, it was a horrible reality for me to be sitting there pregnant and injecting cocaine. i mean, it was terrible, and the doctors were preparing me once i was, you know, in the hospital and having all these early contractions, they were preparing me for all manner of horrors, and i was given the gift of this beautiful, vibrant, brilliant child who -- >> healthy. >> healthy. he's now 22 years old and he's just -- there he is with his father and me. >> you know, you tell a story in the book about taking him when he was a baby with you to a crack house. >> yes. >> tell me about that. >> i walked in and i looked around, and i went, oh, my god, i've just brought my son to a crack house, and i turned around and walked out. >> you know, before you wrote -- or once you had written the book -- now that you've written the book, have you prepared shane? did you tell him what was going to be in the book about his life and his grandfather? >> first of all, let me talk

about shane's life. about ten years ago, there was an "e true hollywood story" that chronicled the drug abuse when i was pregnant, and i've talked to shane about drugs since he was old enough to understand what i was talking about. and i sat down with him about a month ago and i said, we need to prepare, as a family, i need to sit down and prepare you for some hard truths that are going to come out in this book. and i sat down and took him through it and told him everything that is in the book, and he looked at me and he put his head on my shoulder and he said, "poor mama, you'd better tell dad," you know. >> yeah. >> he's a lovely -- he's an amazing kid, and he's nothing but support and love for me. >> something like this can split a family apart. >> yes. >> when you make these revelations. your stepmom, michelle phillips, said you know, she can't verify this. >> how could she verify it? >> of course not. >> your sister, half sister china says, you know, she has no doubt that you're telling the truth, and your brother says he doesn't know whether it's

happened, but you know, he doesn't doubt you. how do you feel about your family's reaction to this? >> i have great compassion for what my family's going through. this is what any family goes through when this type of thing comes to light. the fact that this is so public makes it twice as difficult for everybody, and i love my brothers and sisters and we all experienced our father in a very different way, thank god. and you know, i just hope that we have an opportunity to heal. we are having, you know, a very typical reaction to a very horrific reality. >> i've got to tell you, i can't understand -- i mean, i can't imagine it, and i listened to you during meredith's interview. how do you not feel incredible rage about what this man did? >> anyone who knew my dad will know that he was very charismatic and brilliant and all of these different things

and that for whatever reason, for whatever reason, whatever was inside of him, people would forgive him anything, and he drew people to him and he would toss them aside, but you know, he was just one of those people that -- and look, you can't forgive something like this, but you can understand. and actually, i did take an opportunity when he was dying to sit down and talk to him and forgive him, and forgiveness is kind of a beautiful act, and you know, it's not necessarily to give the other person peace. it's for yourself. it's an opportunity people need to take more often, i think. >> mackenzie phillips, best of luck going ahead into the future and dealing with life. here...blackberry pomegranate. i can't find my hand. (announcer) yoplus and new yoplus light. digestive health alternatives from yoplait.

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now i enjoy every minute. my grandkids are happy, and so am i. ♪ activia still to come, how to talk to your kids about sex. plus, what does it mean when you dream things like flying? >> ooh. >> you want to eat some pasta? a great recipe. how long is she going to be living here? give her one of these... (announcer) cheerios, with one single gram of sugar... ahh... hey... (announcer) ...makes for a perfect beginning. maybe we'll keep her. (cheerios spilling) (announcer) how can something so little... ...help do something so big.

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>> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am mindy basara. the city's aging infrastructure is in need of repairs. officials said the budget woes are slowing things down. last friday, a 72-inch water main broke, flooding and damaging more than 100 homes in bonn blocked -- dundalk. the county says that reconstructing a big storm water and sewer system cost $3.5 billion, which they do not have funds to cover. >> $700 million, shovel-ready, ready to go, we have $12 million. that gives you an idea of what our need is right now. >> as for the water main break in dundalk, they are in the

process of inspecting everything before restoring service. acorn has turned the spotlight away from them on to the people who made their video a controversy. a videotape in baltimore shows employees giving tax advice to customers posing as a pimp and prostitute. they're arguing that wiretap laws were violated by recording them without their consent, and seeking damages from a conservative columnist who posted the videos. let's look at the forecast with sandra shaw. >> for today, still going to be warmer than normal. 81 to 85. some bricks of sunshine out there. this frontal bit sliding to the slough -- sliding to the south across the area today.

today, definitely warmer than normal. nice tomorrow. >> we will have another

all my heart. >> that's the voice of the king of pop. apparently, there are some enter information before heard tapes. and he talks about everything from his family to his celebrity friends and these are now being made public for the first time. so, we'll be talking about that a little bit later tomorrow here on "today". feels like this story just never dies. it just keeps going on and on. >> yeah. >> people are going to talk more about it. i'm ann curry along with al roker and msnbc's tamron hall, who's in for natalie while she's on assignment. thanks for helping us out. >> absolutely. >> and apparently, you're going to talk about dreams this morning? >> yeah, it's really interesting. you can train yourself to remember your dreams. because how many times have you awaken and you're like, what did i dream that night? we'll tell you the techniques and tell you what dreams mean, especially the frequent dream of missing an exam or appointment

that you're not even scheduled for and dreams like flying and being chased. see what those things mean, kind of analyze our dream. >> that's the least of it. >> uh-oh, got something to talk to us about. >> i could talk. meantime, talking to our kids about sex. no parent looks forward to that conversation, but we have to do it. so, we're going to get guidance for all of us this morning, like when to start the talk as well as the correct words to use. and we'll find out which parent should do the talking. >> interesting, wow. also, as everybody's trying to eat healthier these days, one things that's come up on the grocery shelves is whole wheat pasta, so we're going to go in the kitchen and find out what that cooks up with, i understand, a delicious recipe. but first, a check of the weather. >> i don't think we've ever had hideous recipes. >> none that you would admit. >> no, i always am telling the truth. if i don't like it i'm going to say i don't like. it but i don't think people necessarily think that whole wheat pasta is going to be delicious. >> is that a dream -- >> gotta get moving as far as your weather is concerned.

roll the tape! >> aye-yi-yi! >> there we go. clouds in the pacific northwest, sunshine up and down the eastern seaboard. wet weather from the gulf coast into the central mississippi river valley. tomorrow, more of the rain falls there. mild conditions in the pacific >> we are going to be partly to mostly cloudy. 84 to 85 as the daytime high. eighties as well around ocean city. winds generally shifting to the northwest. >> you can't believe the dream ann just told us about. i'm sorry you just missed it. >> unbelievable. >> it's crazy.

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who knew? good morning, ladies. great to have you both here. >> great to be here. >> thank you. >> julie, this is fascinating to see many people, but why did you decide to pick up the story on dreams? >> well, dreams are fascinate 'and the thing is, most people don't pay any attention to them. >> really? >> and they have so much to offer. people sometimes say they don't remember, they don't pay attention to them, but they can really reveal a lot. >> gail, you say we can remember our dreams, because so many times, you do wake up and say i had a dream about something but i can't remember. how do you train your mind to remember it the next morning is it. >> just keep a note pad before your bed -- whenever you wake up, whatever's in your mind, write it down, because you're problem-solving every night in your sleep, looking at relationships, your relationships, self-esteem and kids are working on issues with their math teacher. so it makes sense to write down whatever's there and look at your dreams. >> why do we dream in the first place, i mean, up to 20 times a night? >> we dream for many reasons. we dream to incorporate more learning, we dream to calm down

our feelings and upsets, but we also dream to understand our lives better. what are we really like when we're not so defensive? and our dreams show us. look here, you're having a fight with your husband. you're the one who's doing something really stupid. sometimes your dreams will tell you that, and that's more useful information than ever being right with your husband. >> julie, to that point then, we really should pay close attention to our dreams, because it may enlighten us on what's down the road or what we're dealing with immediately. >> what people say is that you can train yourself to remember your dreams. you can even train yourself to go back to them and follow up, you know, and it's all that stuff that's buried in you that finds ways of bubbling up in your dreams. >> and not only that, you can ask for a problem to be solved in your sleep. >> solved. >> incubate a dream. that was my dissertation work, and it's easy to do. tonight you've got a problem with your sister. what's really going on between me and my sister? you write that down and you will have a dream on it that night. >> i write it down to some of the dream scenarios that are common that people dream about all the time. flying, what does that mean? >> loving flying. i've had flying dreams all my life, and they say it's when you

feel exuberant and your self-esteem is up. >> really? >> you feel in control. >> and there are often dreams that lead you to come be free again. remember what it was like to fly when you were a child? have those flying dreams again. >> oh. what about being chased? that can't be a good thing, is it? >> hardly ever, because you're terrified and afraid you're not going to survive. so, you have to find out who's the aggressor? what do you feel like in your dream? if you feel overwhelmed, terrified, see about who is this guy following you? and is there anything in your life that's like that? what are you running away from? >> what if it's someone you don't recognize? i've had dreams about people i have never seen. >> what i've learned about this is it might be a part of yourself that you're running away from, and it's important to look inside and say what is it i'm trying to get away from? >> you're all in my head, ladies. >> and especially if the person chasing you is a different sex, is there some part of yourself that acts like that person that you're not aware of, and you're running away from your own smoking, your own addiction -- >> this is deep. we need to have a long talk, a

drink. i'm going to ask you about the dream of missed exam or missed appointment. a lot of people have that, even when they don't have an appointment or a exam. >> remember, dreams are metap r metapho metaphors. you're not actually having an am tomorrow, but something going on in your life, your work pressures. it's like i'm back in college taking an exam and i'm not prepared for it. what are you doing in your life that you're so overscheduled that you're not prepared for things? or are you forgetting to prepare for something that's coming up and you're putting it off? >> i have that one with work anxiety, deadline pressure. >> so it's definitely work anxiety. last one i want to ask about, the dream being naked. a whole lot of people -- >> you feel exposed, vulnerable. >> it seems pretty obvious. >> but relate it to my life. how in life do i feel like that, in my relationship, in work? do i feel like i've said too much? am i vulnerable? and that's very helpful to know and be aware of so you don't keep making the same mistakes. >> wow. i need to just relax for a second and meditate on this

stuff. all right, julie and gail, thank you both very much. all in our heads today. up next, you want to avoid it, but you need to do it. how to get past the anxiety, even the embarrassment of talking to your kids about sex without sweating, right after this. ♪ so it's okay to be overprotective. we are. toyota has won more total quality awards - than any other automaker. - hey, ken. - hey, ken. - hey, kenny. hey, ken. - kenny. - all: kenny. and we could all use a little more quality these days. and we could all use a little more introducing a breakthrough from tums that can control your heartburn for hours all day or all night. it's called tums dual action, and it's the longest lasting tums ever. tums dual action works two ways to relieve heartburn: like all tums, it goes to work in seconds. plus, tums dual action

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this morning on "today's family," talking to your kids about sex. for most parents, the sex talk is a dreaded and painful conversation, but it's definitely a necessary one.

laura berman, a sex educator and therapist and mom of three has written "talking to your kids about sex: turning the talk into a conversation for life." laura, good to see you again. >> thanks. >> before we get started on this, you were watching the mackenzie phillips interview, and what were your thoughts on that, because they are kind of interesting. >> well, i think where people get confused is they assume -- she's an adult. and when we say consensual relationship in a situation like that, it's not consensual as an adult like you or i would have a consensual relationship. this was a long-standing relationship of abuse, a very warped relationship. so, it wasn't consensual in the way we think of it. >> because he had power over here. >> he had significant emotional and in fact physical power. he was her father, an authority figure. they had a long-standing abusive relationship. so, we can't think of it as, oh, she was an adult, she could have said no. >> well, let's get started with this, because this does tie into it. when is it appropriate, what age is it appropriate to have this talk about sex? >> the whole principle is it's not all one talk, and i think

that's the mistake parents have. it's an ongoing conversation at every stage of development. so, it starts very early in life, teaching your children about the correct terms for their body parts, to feel comfortable with their bodies, to know genitals are their private parts and they shouldn't be talking anyone's private parts and they shouldn't talk anyone else's. and they should know at any age they can come to you with questions. you're going to be non judgmental. you may not like all the decisions they make, but you'll accept them no matter what. >> and you shouldn't wait for them to come to you. >> absolutely. >> because odds are, they'll be hearing it on the bus or in the schoolya schoolyard. >> and the scary statistic is one in five kids are having sex by the time they're 15, that 50% of kids are engaging in oral sex in school. i mean, this is serious business, and it's something that parents sort of put their head in the sand, oh, it's not my child. >> because we're uncomfortable about this. >> right. >> how do we as parents get over the uncomfortability factor? >> that's one of the focuses of

the book. that's why i wrote the book for parents rather than kids, because we have to get clear on our own values. we have to get clear on what our messages were that we grew up around sex, because that's what we're internalizing and it's okay to be embarrassed. >> in that embarrassment, we make up pet names like the woo-woo and the pee-pee. should you use biologically correct terms? >> exactly. just like this is your elbow, this is your chin, that's your ear, this is your penis. >> and who should have the sex talk, mom, dad, both? >> either. whoever the child is most comfortable with, and in an ideal world, both of them. you're both people who, you know, your child can come to. the irony is, here i am a sex educator, but my kids often ask my husband the questions. >> that's good to know. >> as often as me, yeah. >> so, when we get to this talk, there are two parts of it, actually. there's the scientific part and then there's the intimacy part. >> yes, and it's in stages. so, like at around 8, you want to start preparing them for the physical changes that happen

with adolescence, you know, for menstruation and things like that. at around age 11, you're really starting to talk to them about the mechanics of sex and how babies are made, and they're hearing that in a very mechanical, objective way. they're not hearing it in the way an adult would hear it. >> right. >> and then around age 13, 14, you're starting to get into more of the specifics of what a relationship is about, the give and take, trouble-shooting, safer sex issues, negotiating for condom use in your relationship. >> and in fact, you bring up an interesting point, the safe sex part of it. that is more important than ever, isn't it? >> absolutely, stds are hugely on the rise. in fact, one in three girls in this country are getting pregnant by the age of 20. so, it's not just sexually transmitted diseases, which can affect your fertility, much less your life and mortality, you know. some of them can kill you, especially hiv and even hpv, which accounts for -- you know, human papilloma virus, which accounts for 90% of cervical cancers. so, it's not only that, but certainly pregnancy that's a risk. >> all right. laura berman, thanks so much.

again, the book is "talking to your kids about sex," and laura, thank you so much. a lot of great information that we need to deal with. still ahead, laura is having a live online chat at 10:15 eastern time. logon to todayshow.com. up next, in "today's kitchen," a healthy pasta dinner.

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this morning in "today's kitchen," hot chef cat cora's here to share a haeyth, hardy fettuccine dish that's full of flavor. she is the executive chef of "bon appetit" magazine. good morning to you. >> good morning. >> and congratulations as well, because you've extended your family. you've got two more kids in your family? >> exactly. we've got four boys. >> oh, my god! so, fantastic. >> it's been a blast and i'm glad to be here. i'm in new york here for the

"bon appetit" supper club and cafe and i'm here with you today to show you how we can put some healthy pasta on the table. >> which, if you've got kids, you definitely want to do, because they like the pasta. >> right. >> you're making something that's made out of chicken sausage. >> right. >> and you call it rave. >> tomato, tomato, i don't think it matters either way. and this is such a great alternative to broccoli, although with kids, you can also use broccoli in this dish as well. >> so, you've sauteed, chopped up this. >> right. >> you've sauteed is in olive oil, now you're adding garlic. >> a little bit of fresh garlic in here. >> a lot of it. that's good. >> i love garlic. a lot of nice garlic in here going in, giving a lot of flavor to this sausage. and again, we're lightening it up with turkey or chicken sausage. and i'm going to add the rave into it and start sauteing that. let's turn up the heat little bit and get it going. you want to add the milk in. >> when do you add it in, right now? >> add it right in, because

we're going to reduce the milk. this is an alternative to cream sauce. so using a whole milk or 2% milk, reduce it some, get it nice and sauteed here. >> so without all the fat. then you're using -- >> whole wheat pasta, so -- >> now listen, talk to me about this, because you were saying earlier, eating whole wheat pasta is like eating whole wheat bread in terms of how good it is for you as compared to other pastas like eating white bread. is that what you're saying some. >> the difference between enriched white rice versus brown rice. so you're not getting -- with the whole wheat pasta, you're getting lots of fiber, you're getting lots of vitamins in there. and it also doesn't taste any different. so you don't have to be afraid of it. it tastes no different than a white pasta. so, i'm going to add this right in. i'm just draining that. and you can take a little of the pasta water with you. so i'll put that right in. >> are you doing it el donte like any regular pasta? you don't cook it differently? >> no differently. it takes three minutes to cook, four minutes to cook and doesn't

taste any differently and you do cook it el dente. >> oh, look at the olives. >> got a lot of olives. >> and some herbs. >> we've got a little thyme here we're going to add right in, a little bit more thyme. >> we all need more thyme. and this saves time, which is fantastic. >> this saves a lot of time. a little chili flake, optional for kids, obviously, but i like the spice. you get this together, toss it quick, quick, quick. this is a simple, easy, quick, healthy alternative to dinner. >> and what's really cool about this is it's one-stop shopping. you've got the greens, you've got the meat, the pasta. you don't have to make a bunch of different things. >> you've got everything in here. one-pot wonder. how are you? >> let's get some pasta here. and coming up on "today," brooke shields is going to be stopping by. >> wow, that's cool. >> plus, more from ma keckenzie phillips on her memoir. >> after your local news.

>> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am mindy basara. fire investigators are looking into the cause of an early- morning blaze in northwest baltimore. this is the scene not long after the fire broke out. everyone inside was able to get out safely. no word as to the cause. back in a minute with a ch

>> let's look of the forecast with sandra shaw. >> we will be into the mid-80's yet again. yesterday we were 84 at the airport. we will see a couple of sunshine breaks. generally a little bit unsettled as the front gets through today. 59 to 65 degrees. nice for friday. mostly sunny, breezy and 76. >> thank you for joining us. see you

announcer: it's "live with regis & kelly." today, from the hit