we're back now more of "today" on a monday morning. it's a marvelous morning "today" this october 10th, 2011. these people are here to celebrate columbus day in new york city about a big parade kicking off one block from us here in rockefeller plaza, out on the plaza, matt lauer along with ann curry and savannah gut tee.

coming guthrie. what happened to this 10-month-old baby in kansas city, lisa irwin, missing. investigators were back in her home trying to recreate what might have happened on the night she disappeared, we'll bring you up to date and have the latest oen that investigation. >> we sure hope they find that baby soon. also coming up the secrets that women keep from their doctors. do you not tell the truth wren it comes to whether you smoked or drank or people are not going to tell the truth what was happening in their sexual past. some of these things that you keep from your doctors we're told can be dangerous for your health, so we'll be talking about that coming up. >> right. also ahead with the ups and downs in the stock market a lot of people are worried about their nest egg if they're retired. good advice on how to live on less in your golden years. then here's a couple that doesn't have that worry, sir paul mccartney tied the knot to his american heiress nancy chevelle. all of the details live from lond london. >> he was emotional, had tears

in his eyes talking about it. looked so happy. >> hopefully. on your wedding day you've got to look happy. let's give you the results of "today's" big tag sale we held this last week. we were selling money to raise -- we were selling things to raise money for the salvation army at a price tag of $3,000 that olympic torch, ann sold the olympic dream. >> wow! >> actually brought in an awful lot of money. congratulations. >> so great but how come i have it here in. >> it's your last time to hold it. we want to you run down the plaza with it one more time. $3,000. >> the salvation army is a good cause. >> my collection, $1,200, al's 525, savannah, 305, natalie 202, total from the auction, $9,551. >> bravo. >> natalie is back at the news desk with a look at the

headlines. >> good morning everyone. one week since 10-month-old lisa irwinen vaished from her home. peter alexander is there with the latest details. good morning. >> reporter: good morning to you. another busy weekend out here at the home of lisa irwin. investigators tried to recreate how an abductor could get into the home. it was not easy and quiet, to try to drum up new clues and information to find the 10-month-old baby girl, more than 250 tips in total, some as far away as california but no suspects and no solid leads. we saw what may be a break, investigators going door to door speaking about a handyman neighbors told has a trimmal history and not been seen since baby lisa disappeared a full week ago. we did not hear from lisa's parents this weekend, they did not speak publicly but did once again speak to investigators and

one unique piece of information we learned, lisa irwin's mother who lived her at the home with lisa's mother is still married to another man, the irwin family tells us that couple could not afford to get a divorce. natalie? >> peter alexander with the latest, thank you. good newspapers at the pump. gas prices dropped 13 cents per gallon in the past two weeks, down 25 cents over the last month, the average price for a gallon of regular is now $3.42. roll 'em sock 'em robots were top at the box office "real steel" took in $27 million, "the ides of march" opened in second place and dolphin tale slipped into third. ♪ all you need is love and paul mccartney has it. michelle kosinski is in london with the remonday take detail its. >> reporter: nice, natalie,

another royal wedding here, rock 'n' roll royalty meets american society royalty. this one was low key. the couple drove to a morning workout and couple hours later married in a civil ceremony, 30 people, ending with a more glamorous party here at home. it was no use trying to keep it all hush-hush. sir paul mcmccart near and bride nancy chevelle left the town hall no containing their happiness. paul mugging for the cameras his usually goofy self. ♪ and i love her >> reporter: nancy dressed simply in a design by paul's famous daughter stella, there's barbara walters, nancy's second cousin and ringo starr. mccartney's last trip down the

aisle which cost millions in a castle and endless publicity ended four years later in an ugly divorce that cost paul tens of millions. >> sir paul mccartney is a dying romantic, totally believes in love. ♪ all you need is love >> reporter: paul started dating 51-year-old nancy shortly after that divorce in 2008. soon nancy divorced her lawyer husband with whom she has a teenage son. >> nancy was a perfect candidate from the very beginning, not only was she a friend of the family, someone who linda would have approved of but she was independently wealthy. some reports suggested she has nearly as much money as paul does himself. >> reporter: and it was this same place in 1969 where paul married his first wife, linda, also an american, who many consider the love of his life. her death from breast cancer crushed him. nancy is a breast cancer

survivor, and at their reception, paul serenaded her. ♪ let it be >> reporter: "let it be" and "let me roll it," and third piece he wrote just for her. >> she's pretty young for him. >> i think it's great for him, as long as he's happy because he deserves to be happy still. >> reporter: he who once asked "will you still need me when i'm 64" gets a response of yes, yes, i do. ♪ and i love her >> reporter: you know it's amazing how true live and combined fortune of $1 billion to keep you young. just last night included twiggy, ronny wood, feasted on organic vegetation including the cake and the british press says the couple are headed to new york followed up with a caribbean honeymoon. there's no sign of the couple at

all today. >> michelle kosinski in london, wishing them lots of love and happiness. seven minutes past right now. ann and savannah in. >> they just got married, maybe it's a good sign there's no sight of them. al is off today, stephanie abrams is here. >> how was the first year of the marriage? >> kind of rough, cooking was tough but everything else has been great. >> only two years, do the 11/11/11 and 12/12/12, find someone quick if you want to get married on the dates. since it is a holiday in the northwest, they say rain is good luck on your wedding day. i think they say that to make you feel better when it's raining on your wedding day. heavy here into northern california, other wise below average temperatures into the south and above average temperatures in themp

>> good morning. beautiful what the bank continues as we head into columbus day. low 80's >> natalie it's all yours. ♪ my baby's got a secret thank you, stephanie. this morning on "tooled's health" the secret women keep from their doctors that may be harmful to their health. dr. raj, good morning. >> good morning. >> it can be comfortable, sometimes embarrassing to talk to our doctor about a lot of different things. why are women embarrassed by it? >> we're programmed to be lady like, certain taboo subjects we

shouldn't discuss in public, anything from sex to anything related to the bathroom. when we go to the doctor even though we realize intellectually we should talk, you need to break that barrier and do so. >> first thing is not taking your prescriptions, i think sometimes people either forget to take their prescriptions or stop taking it or aren't taking them all together at all. >> right. >> important to let your doctor know when you decide not to take it, right? >> it is. no one wants to be known as the bad patient who doesn't listen to their doctor but the doctor needs to know if you didn't fill the prescription, if you didn't complete the course. they may give you a different antibiotic or medicine thinking the first one didn't work when it was the case you didn't take it. you don't want a higher dose or stronger medicine if you didn't do it. it happens all the time, and we'll use that information wisely. >> if you didn't fulfill the prescription because it was out of your price budget, there are other lower cost prescriptions available sometimes. >> absolutely. these days especially people

having a hard time paying for certain medicines so talk to your doctor about a cheaper option or different medicine all together. they understand, too, cost does matter. >> next admitting your vices. some people have trouble when the doctor asks do you drink alcohol, do you smoke or talk about drug use. why is it crucial that you admit to your doctor your habits? >> it's very important, because smoking, drinking, drug use can really put you at risk for certain diseases, things like lung disease, heart disease and certainly cancer and your doctor will screen more vigilantly for the diseases if they know what your history is, particularly young women talking about hormonal birth control if they smoke, they're at much higher risk of stroke so you really need to be honest about that with your doctor. really they're not to judge you, just to keep you healthy. >> speaking of not judging let's talk about sex, easier said than done, not the conversation you like to have with your doctor especially when you're a woman. this goes beyond talking about your sexual past. things like if you've had an

std, also if you've been a victim of sexual abuse you should reveal these things to your doctor. why? >> absolutely. it can be difficult to discuss. if you've been a victim of sexual assault, had an std you are perhaps at higher risk for certain types of cancer. your doctor will screen more easily for them or more quickly. talk about, be honest with your sexual practices, how many partners you have, what birth control you use, whether you use it. that will help your doctor guide you in choosing the best form of birth control that works for you with your lifestyle and schedule. >> any advice on how to talk about it with your doctor? >> you have to take a deep breath, if you want to write it down first so you can read from a script, you don't have to look them in the eye but honestly if you don't feel comfortable discussing these things with your doctor you may want a different doctor, someone who does make you feel comfortable, someone you don't think is judging you. >> female doctor, makes it easier as well. >> exactly. >> this is one i think a lot of women have issues with, too, gas, diarrhea, urinary issues, hard to bring the uncomfortable

subjects up with our doctor but very important. >> very important because something like a changeñi in yo bowel habits can signal something as dangerous as colon cancer or urinary infection. untreated it can have serious consequences. as embarrassing as it may be you need to talk to your doctor about it and this we hear every day all day. don't think you've brought up something we've never heard before. >> absolutely. another biggie, if you are seeing another doctor along with your primary physician, you're seeing a psychiatrist, dermatologist, really important to talk about their course of treatment along with what your doctors do. >> right, you may have back pain and may not think it's important you're seeing a psychiatrist, medications they may give you may conflict with some of the other antidepressants you're on. they need to work together with the other doctors to give you the best care. >> dr. roshini raj, thank you so much. thank you.

coming up next, worry free retirement, how you can live well on less money. and we have advice for couples right after this. and i quit smoking with chantix. knowing that i could smoke during the first week was really important to me. [ male announcer ] along with support, chantix is proven to help people quit smoking. chantix reduced my urge to smoke -- and personally that's what i knew i needed. [ male announcer ] some people had changes in behavior, thinking or mood, hostility, agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking or after stopping chantix. if you notice any of these, stop taking chantix and call your doctor right away. tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems, which could get worse while taking chantix. don't take chantix if you've had a serious allergic or skin reaction to it. if you develop these, stop taking chantix and see your doctor right away as some can be life-threatening. if you have a history of heart or blood vessel problems, tell your doctor if you have new or worse symptoms. get medical help right away if you have symptoms of a heart attack. use caution when driving or operating machinery. common side effects include nausea,

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today's money" is brought to you by bank of america. >> this morning in "today's money" stretching your retirement income, with the economy at a standstill, a real concern for millions of older americans is living on less than they expected in their retirement, but you may not need quite as much as you think to live well. donna rosatto senior writer at "money" magazine. good to see you. >> very good to be here. >> in this recession everyone

has financial concerns but explain why retirees may feel the pinch even more. >> we know everyone's really hurting. the recession officially retired two years ago but it's particularly difficult for retirees, they're not earning income anymore, trying to find a decent yield on savings. you have to figure out how to stretch your savings for 20, 30 years. >> a lot of people lost their jobs in the older age may end up retiring early than planned. you have great tips for us. work part-time. >> that's right, i mean the big trend is that people are working longer, and they're retiring at later ages but not everybody wants to work full time in a stressful job, you know, 60 hours a week so really great way to stretch your income is to work hart time and if you have professional skills there's an easy way to translate that into paid work. now the key is finding how to do that. >> because as you say you don't necessarily have to work part-time at a job that doesn't use the skills you've required

over a career. you have great websites that connect people with these kinds of jobs? >> they're organizations that specialize in taking seasoned workers and matching them to employers who can take advantage of their skills without necessarily paying them benefits so part-time work can be contract work, projects, flexible schedules, which is attractive to people and you can use the income as well. >> you also say and this is kind of interesting, you may not need as much income as you thought? >> that's right. i think most people have heard the rule of thumb that you need to replace 70% to 80% of your income when you retire, but if you run the numbers through retirement calculator, that number can be pretty daunting. we look at the data and actually your spending peaks in your 50s and falls as you retire and significantly dropping off later on. the reason that is, people don't take into account you're no longer contributing 10% to 15% of your income to your 401(k). you have fewer taxes, and so your costs go down. maybe your kids are out of college, too, so you don't have the big bills. >> hopefully making their own

money at that stage of the game. you also say another good idea if you can is to move to a lower cost area. >> you can significantly cut your costs by moving to, if you live in an expensive area going to a cheaper place. housing prices are much more affordable, for example, the average home price in the northeast is $350,000. much less in say florida, $150,000, the midwest, so you can save on property taxes, housing, utilities, those kinds of things >> if you don't want to move, a lot of people have family in a particular area, you can move to a smaller house. isn't it harder in this economy to sell your house? >> it really is. you have to sell your home to save a lot of money. we advise people to really you have to price your home aggressively if you want it to get sold, and of course you want to keep your house maintained. but if you're retiring and been in your home a long time you're probably still likely to come out ahead if you sell your home. >> we can downsize our car or cars, plural. >> that's right. say you have two cars and go to one, if you're retired you're likely to be able to switch to

sharing a car with a spouse, maybe other family members you can save on gas, maintenance, insurance, you can save a significant amount of money. >> one thing you say we all know that retirees have is time and you can use that time to your advantage. >> that's right. you can literally turn your time into money. one of the ways that you can do that is really just having that time, there was an interesting study out of the university of rochester that studied retirees and food shopping. retirees can spend 7% to 10% less because of their shopping frequency, able to shop more. >> they can look for the coupons and the deals. >> right. >> you mentioned in flying, fly midweek and get a better deal there. >> most of us can fly saturday to saturday. tuesday, when, save a lednesday of money. >> donna rosato, appreciate it. the economy putting a strain on couples, how toe strike the right balance in your relationship.

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it's a conversation about what our kids eat, how they move, about how they feel, and more importantly, how they feel about themselves. >> that is of course first lady michelle obama supporting her signature initiative to keep kids healthy, it's called let's move, and guess who will be talking to her and moving this week, our own mr. al roker, he's going to be joined by a group of kids trying to set a "guinness" world record. we'll chat with the first lady and see all of it wednesday on "today." >> that's great. coming up, is your job taking priority over your spouse? there's a loaded question. >> i know.

for a lot of couples because the answer is yes, especially with people working extra hard because they're worried about being laid off in the tough economy or spending a lot of time looking for a job we'll have some advice on how to keep it from ruining your relationship. speaking of relationships, we're going to introduce you to one former paparazzo, has had enough with stalking celebrities and now stalks brides. actually the engagement moment. >> we forget about that, yes. christopher columbus had the nina, pinta and the santa maria, we have alina, anthony, and john, the scotti family, it wouldn't be a columbus day without them. what do you snee where are you going, john? >> we're down here looking for the food. >> all right, or looking for the forecast. >> yes, all right. >> stephanie abrams, check of the weather. >> as we head through the day

today another warm one here in the northeast, typically in the 60s. we are going to be in the 80s, below average and rainy to the southeast and barbecue weather throughout portions of the center of the country, tomorrow that low moves up the coast and stays unsettled ist >> good morning. lots of sunshine and it will be warm. low 80's in central maryland. it is weird to say barbecue, northeast in october, right? >> i'll take it. i love it. >> mid-october practically. stephanie, thank you. coming up next, is your job putting a strain on your marriage? we've got some advice, but first

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♪ i've got work to do, you've got work baby ♪ this morning on "tooled's relationships" when your job takes priority over your relationship, when it comes first it can create a lot of problems at home. dr. robi ludwig and psychologist dr. jeff gardere, good to have you here. >> thanks. great to be here. >> a lot of people are stressed out in this economy so often the job sort of becomes the priority rather than the relationship. jeff, a lot more people experiencing this, right? >> absolutely. because it is about the economy,

but i always say that the job should not take priority to family or to your marriage, though it is something that may be the cornerstone of your relationship. >> how do you know, robi, if you are putting a lot more pressure on your marriage, crossing the line by you know, essentially maybe losing focus on your relationship? >> you know, i think if your partner is unhappy, if you're canceling events, if you're not spending a lot of time with your kids, that's a good sign that maybe work is taking priority, and you're not thinking about your family. >> especially if they're complaining and i think we get into the mind-set of hey listen, i'm working. i'm taking care of the family. you shouldn't be complaining, but in fact if people are complaining, then you haven't struck that right balance. >> in this economy you feel lucky to have a job so oftentimes it's that whole putting extra pressure on the relationship because you do have to earn a living. >> or as i like to say no money no honey.

>> exactly. >> but there are jobs that expect you to be married to the job, require you to spend a lot of time and be connected via blackberry or laptop and if you're not doing that the feeling is i'm not stepping up to the plate and if i don't do this, i could lose my job, and a lot of people's self-esteem and sense of self-worth is connected to their job so they want to put in the extra effort because they're appreciative to have everything. >> even though women work harder than men in my women -- >> thank you for that. >> it's true because we sit back and say -- >> such a charmer. >> -- we're working and it's good enough. the bottom line is men tie their self-esteem into work much more and they can be a little more recalcitrant as far as addressing what the issues may be. >> let's take a look, you both came up with great helpful tips. the first thing you say is, you have to acknowledge and address the problem. so how do you come about realizing and making a difference in your marriage? >> i think it's safe to say don't assume your partner knows

that they're married to their work. you need to say listen, you're spending a lot of time on the job. i'm feeling like i'm losing you. i'm a work widow. i want us to meet each other's needs. that's the first thing, don't assume your partner knows. let them know you're not happy, raise the red flag. >> make it a priority, schedule some time together if you have to look at the calendar, pull it out. >> that's right, be clib rat about it. >> limit hanging out with co-workers, because a lot of times unfortunately the face time and the time you spend with your co-workers really is, sort of comes with the territory of the job. >> comes with your professional and social world, spending all of that time with your co-workers so it's natural after work to go out and have drinks or travel together and so on and i think you need to show your partner that they are the priority and so that means yeah, you want to network a little bit but you better get your behind on home when you're done with work. >> or include your partner with your co-workers, so that they're in the mix, and know who you're

socializing with. >> there you go and speaking of that, you say also take your business trips together, if you can, so make it work. >> makes it like a mini i have indication. perhaps during the moments you can share this is why work is so important to you and i want to you be involved and support me. >> part of that quality time. ♪ take me along if you love me >> absolutely. >> that's right so you should. >> send flowers from work, you say. what kind of message is that sending? >> the message quite simply is i'm thinking about you even though i'm working, i'm working for me and working for you because i've got work to do, the awb, the average white band says. you're letting them know that you care, you've taken that moment during the day. >> i think, too, also if you are the person who is not working as much, make sure you have an interesting life so that you're not relying only on your partner to make your life feel worthwhile and then you'll be

less angry with your partner while he's working. >> robi and jeff, thanks, guys. >> thank you. coming up next before you get married you have to pop the question, we'll meet the photographer who secretly captures the special moment. later, columbus day cooking with the scotto family in "today's kitchen." spread with i can't believe it's not butter... add jacques. he's french. oui! mmmm...oui like! [ male announcer ] now four out of five butter lovers agree that i can't believe it's not butter tastes as good as fresh butter with 70% less saturated fat and 30% fewer calories than butter. now you can have it all. [ male announcer ] i can't believe it's not butter. and a healthy choice for the planet? [ female announcer ] try pantene nature fusion shampoo.

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albums dedicated to the day they say i do, they may not have a single photo of the moment she said yes. >> between the nerves and the surprise of it all, the day a couple gauges could be a big blur. i met a savvy photographer whose business it is to capture the memories. getting engaged, a monumental moment full of tears, hugs and kisses, but how many of those memories are actually caught on camera? meet photographer james ambler. >> i started about eight years ago as a news photographer in the uk and that led into paparazzi photography. >> reporter: while exciting, a career chasing celebrities wasn't fulfilling. >> you may take a picture and look at it and think i can see cellulite or doing something she shouldn't be doing and it's at someone else's expense. >> reporter: relying on his paparazzi prowess, ambler

created "pap the question." >> having pictures without being seen. >> reporter: ambler lets us turn the cameras on him as he prepares to shoot dan griffin's proposal to his girlfriend lily. >> i think having the pictures of the moment when i propose to lily will mean a lot to ourselves and our family, something that only happens once. >> reporter: we're standing in front of where the couple is going to arrive and lily, the fiance to be is unaware right now. the excitement and anticipation is palpable. >> you're more nervous than them. >> reporter: game on. good luck, dan! >> reporter: dan play it is cool. >> let's go for a gondola ride to the boat house. >> you want to go to the boat house? >> via boat, the only way to travel. >> reporter: in the moment dreams are made of. oh, oh, oh my god. >> i've loved you for over six

years. i want to be with you and i know that i'm doing the right thing, and i'm saying, lily sutton will you marry me? >> oh, my god, yes. of course! i love you. >> oh, oh. they're kissing. >> there it is. sealed with a kiss. ♪ you belong with me >> isn't that the coolest thing? >> reporter: so cool. >> i love my job. >> reporter: family and friends join the happy couple to celebrate. and for lily, the surprises kept coming. >> this is james. james was taking pictures of it the whole time. so we have the whole thing -- >> you are so sneaky i didn't see you. oh my god it's like a production. >> reporter: well it is because you're on the "today" show. so is she supposed to know that? >> we're on the "today" show? >> reporter: knowing this just happened but you also have pictures of everything from when you entered the park to now. >> well, thank god because it's

been a blur. >> reporter: a proposal in perfect focus. ♪ i think i want to marry you >> reporter: james is based here in new york but expanding his business to san francisco and chicago. as for dan and lily, planning to marry in portsmouth, new hampshire, next open. >> and sarah will be there possibly you were more excited than our bride. >> i might be the flower girl. >> you're hoping for a role. sara, great story. up next a columbus day feast from the scottos, but first this is "today" on nbc.

this morning on "cooking with the scottos" a dinner in honor of who else, christopher columbus. >> mary and john, anthony, elena

and julia of fresco by scotto. good morning you guys. >> good morning! >> let's get started. everybody to their stations, all right? >> you know when columbus came over and did his travels. >> yes. >> he had fish, and he had beans. beans and fish. >> what more do you need? >> and his favorite fish was cod. >> okay. bacala, right? >> it was bacala. we're making today a cod chowder. >> very good. >> this is garlic and onion sauteing. >> in olive oil and what's that? >> clam juice. and then doing carrots and celery and we're doing potatoes. now, this has to cook at least 15 minutes until it gets soft. >> okay. >> now we come here and we start this has been cooked for 15

minutes, putting in our milk to make the chowder, some butter, corn and some paprika, and we top it with bacon. and now the star of the show is the cod. >> the cod! you put it in last. >> we put it in last, and this has to cook -- >> i thought i was. >> well, sometimes you do act like a bacala. >> i thought i was supposed to go, sorry. >> then you put this in, and you cook it -- >> i'm still here. >> -- for eight minutes. >> because it cooks in the broth. >> may i show you the beauty plate? >> yes. look at that. >> isn't this wonderful? >> delicious. let's move over to johnny. >> to the guest star. >> what have you got for us? >> shrimp with white beans. >> mmm, love it. >> i sauteed the shrimp, take them out. it looks about two minutes in

some olive oil and some garlic. so while we're doing that, put them all in, i'm then going to add some of the white beans. >> okay. >> we have some red onion, celery, some chives, put it all in, some capers. >> beautiful. >> beans are not cooked, it's raw. >> beautiful. >> lemon juice, olive oil. >> okay. >> and that's what it is. that's amore! >> beautiful. >> where are they? >> all right, amore. anthony, what are we making? we've got mussels. >> when i spoke to chris, christopher columbus, when i spoke to chris last we discussed what we would have on board. fennel, let's talk about sha

shallots and garligarlic. i think from spain he'd have turiso. >> from spain, he'd have that. the mussels? >> clean, rinse them off good and make sure they're closed. on the mussels there is the beard on the end, rip that off and go from there. onions, garlics, fennel, saffron and chiriso. we'll add white wine and burn that off for a second and add our stock, store bought, no problem. clam stock, vegetable stock. >> how long are those guys in there? >> got to check. now the point is now when they open they're ready. that's it. if they don't open you're not eating them. cover this, let it sit for 10 or 15 minutes, add the white bean to this, okay. >> delish. >> and add some of your parpssl, basil and tomato and finish this. >> finally dessert with julia and elena. >> nutella mousse tart.

>> did they have nutella on the "m "mayflower"? >> they didn't but i'm thinking if they did that would be first choice. julia, pie crust, why do we love it? it's made with nutella cookies. can you believe it? >> yum! >> anyway we'll start with the filling, marscapone, heavy cream and frangelica. i'll have my assistant help us, this is her favorite, nutella. now we'll take this out and pour it in. so assistant, please. thank you. >> there you go. >> so whip it all up. >> four simple ingredients, pie crust, refrigerate and you're done. >> looks like this. scottos thank you so much. happy columbus day, guys. thank you so much. the recipes are on today.com. coming up, kathie lee is back in town, we're happy to

have her back. your local news is next.