good morning. chilling words. video emerges of former penn state assistant coach jerry sandusky talking about kids. >> i enjoy being around children, and i enjoy their enthusiasm. i just have a good time with them. >> as at least one alleged victim prepares to sue the university. we'll talk to that young man's attorney. standing by her man. herman cain's wife speaks out for the first time about these sexual harassment allegations against her husband. and inside michael's mansion, an exclusive look at the home where the pop star spent his final days, the message on the mirror, the love note from his kids, and the room that was off limits to everyone but him. we'll go inside. "today," monday, november 14th, 2011.

captions paid for by nbc-universal television and good morning. welcome to "today" on a monday morning. i'm matt lauer. >> and i'm ann curry. good morning, everybody. how is it after traveling what 30,000 miles you're sitting here and looking as good as you do. >> looks can be deceiving. i wish i could tell you i'm fine. i'm shattered. i'm kind of teetering from one side to the other but it will get better as the week goes on, by thursday of next week i'll be fine. >> we'll hold your hand through it and a lot of coffee runners ready at the becking. >> we'll look at the fun we had along the way on our journey including some behind the scenes stories we didn't get to share with you last week. we have serious topics ahead including this penn state child abuse scandal. >> that's right, pennsylvania's

governor is urging any other potential victims to come forward and the attorney for one young man who says he was molested says he plans to file a civil suit against penn state. we'll talk to that attorney in just a couple of minutes. >> matt, just ahead we'll be talking about our website almost exploding last week after the duggars announced they're expecting their 20th child. why did they touch such a nerve? we'll get into that this morning. >> and we'll get caught up with actress diane keaton, one of my favorites. she's out with a memoir, talking about dating woody allen, her battle with bulimia and how her mom inspired her. we'll begin with the penn state child abuse scandal. we'll be talking with the attorney for one of the alleged victims in a moment. first, peter alexander is at penn state with the latest. good morning. >> reporter: good morning to you. it was an emotionally exhausting weekend at penn state university

but the investigation presses forward with pennsylvania's governor encouraging any other alleged victims, of former defensive coordinator jerry sandusky to come forward and contact authorities. as penn state students head back to class this morning, this tight-knit community is still reeling from horrific charges of child sexual abuse, and an alleged university coverup. late sunday night, president obama spoke out from hawaii. >> what happened at penn state indicates that at a certain point, folks start thinking about systems and institutions and don't think about individuals. evil can thrive in the world just by good people standing by and doing nothing. >> reporter: these are the penn state locker room showers where then graduate assistant mike mcqueary told a grand jury he witnessed former defensive coordinator jerry sandusky sexually abusing a boy in 2002.

pennsylvania governor tom corbett, attorney general in 2009, began an investigation into sandusky. said on "meet the press" sunday mcqueary should have done more. >> met the minimum obligation of reporting it up but did not, in my opinion, mete a moral obligation that all of us would have. >> reporter: prosecutors want san cuss dito have bail at half a million but his attornthe jud volunteer for sandusky's children's charity, the second mile. saturday's football game, the first since 1965, without lunlg end dear coach joe paterno at the helm was at times some per. nearly 100,000 fans fell sigh

tloent honor the victims of sexual abuse. players taking a knee before the game began. before the heartbreaking loss the emotional message from his son, jay on espn. >> dad, i wish you were here. we love you. ♪ >> reporter: all weekend the penn state faithful paid visit to paterno's state college home, leaving mind mementos for the man to stepped out of the public eye. nbc news attempted to contact judge dutchcot but she's been unavailable for comment. former vice president gary schultz and former athletic director tim curley are scheduled to make their first appearances in court thursday. they all deny the allegations against them. >> peter alexander, thank you very much. nbc news uncovered some videotape of jerry khan dusky talking about his relationship

with children and given the charges against him, it's rather startling. nbc's national investigative correspondent michael isikoff has more on this. michael, good morning. >> reporter: good morning, matt. years before he was charged with sex abuse, jerry sandusky talked about his great passion with children. they're words that take on a very different meaning today. >> how did it all start? basically because i'm a frustrated playground director i guess. >> that's jerry sandusky in an nbc news interview in 1987. in light of the sex abuse charges filed against him it's a disturbing look at the man at the center of the penn state scandal. >> i enjoy their enthusiasm and have a good time with them. >> reporter: at the time of the profile, sandusky was a pioneering defensive coach under the legendary joe paterno. he turned down head coaching

jobs with other schools to continue his work with the second mile to continue with his charity to help troubled kids. >> sometimes they don't understand what you want to do. >> reporter: now sandusky is charged with 40 counts of sex abuse over a 13-year period, out on a $100,000 bond and denies any wrongdoing. >> it isn't what happens to you that's important, it's how you react to it. >> reporter: a decade after the nbc news profile, police first investigated sandusky for allegedly showering with and touching a young boy in the penn state locker room. a grand jury report says that investigators from local and university police listened in as the boy's mother confronted him. >> "i was wrong" sandusky told her, "i wish i were dead," but no charges were filed. a year later sandusky at age 55 announced he was retiring from coaching to work more on the second mile charity.

lou prado, a penn state sports historian who has known sandusky for years thought that was strange. >> surprised, everybody was surprised but it seemed natural he'd want to spend more time with the kids because he had this great camp, wanted to expand it and raise more money. >> one of the things would be the trust that would be developed. what we're trying to be is what we think to be is a true friend. >> reporter: but now the charges he sexually abused eight young boys, all of whom he met through the second mile charity, there is outrage over the damage sandusky is is alleged to have done to the children and penn state university. >> what i think of him now? i can't tell you what i'd like to do to him, if i could get him. he's ruined penn state. >> reporter: the circumstances surrounding sandusky's retirement and what penn state officials may have known about his conduct over the years is now a central focus of the

investigation. snan. >> ann? >> ikele isikoff, thank you. >> ben andreozzi reptsz one of the victims and jeff deon, one of the representatives for the national center for victims. >> good morning, ann. >> what can you tell us about him in terms of how old your client is and what his story is? >> ann, i can't release personal information that would actually give the public an opportunity to identify who he is, but i can tell you the emotions and give you an idea of what he's going through right now. and i think it's important to understand that him, and i assume as well as many of the other victims, they've got a real complex emotional response to what's going on right now. it's important to understand that these folks were involved in the penn state football community. they were on the sidelines of football games. they were spending significant amounts of time traveling with the team and/or in the locker room with the team and getting

to know members of that football team, so to say that he's torn apart, i think would be an emotion that would explain where he's at right now. >> what are his emotions then watching these allegations devastating penn state. are you suggesting that, because he's tied in to having watched and being connected to the football program through these experiences that he has a deeper level of emotions that may be hard for us to fathom? >> ann, that's exactly what i'm saying. i think the general public may think that an abused victim in his position would automatically have feelings of negative towards the university and while i think he's very disappointed in the way that members of the university community handled his situation, or the situation involving the coverup, it's not -- its it's a complex issue. we need to understand he's got a variety of thoughts that are going through his head right now, in light of the situation. he was interwoven into this penn state football community.

>> are you suggesting he feels not only the pain of this, but also some guilt? >> i think that's fair to say, ann. if you look at sexual assault victims, it's very difficult for them to come forward and i think it's fair to say that the victims could be thinking to themselves right now, as a result of myself coming forward, look at what's happened to this football program. >> is he at all comforted by the fact that the nation is so outraged that he and other boys were not protected, at least according to these allegations? >> ann, i think it's fair to say that sexual assault victims in general are comforted by the movement that we've seen. i can tell you right now, ann, though, there are negative responses as well, so it's really a complicated issue. i know that he does appreciate the fact that the general public is concerned for him.

>> jeff, does this case, as you look at it, fit the pattern of a predator, as has been alleged in the case of jerry sandusky? >> absolutely, ann. predators often seek out and sometimes create organizations that will give them access to children, particularly children that would be vulnerable to specialized attention from an adult that they look up to, and that's why organizations need to be absolutely vigilant about who is in their midst. >> do we have any sense that all of these boys, ben, have access now to counseling or is that still -- and have they been able to get together and would that possibly help their healing? >> you know, ann, i don't think that i can speak for all the victims, but i can say that the people that have come forward to me, that we have been strongly recommending that they get in some trauma therapy, and that's encouraged, that they do that, you know, immediately, and

fortunately there have been organizations throughout the country who have reached out and agreed to provide free counseling for these victims. >> well, that's indicative of how many americans feel, ben, that they want these kids to be okay. ben andreozzi and jeff deon thank you for being with us this morning. tonight on "rock center" brian williams will be speaking with bob kostis about the scandal. herman cain's wife is leaping to his defense. kelly o'donnell has that story. good morning. >> reporter: good morning, matt. it's been two weeks since herman cain's presidential campaign has been rocked by those allegations of sexual harassment, going back to the 1990s and for two weeks, cain has been fighting back on his own, insisting he's done nothing wrong and now for the first time, cain's wife, gloria,

is fighting back by his side. >> this is my family. >> gloria cain has been nearly invisible during her husband's run for the white house. >> because this thing is going to move so fast, you may not see her much so you better look quick. >> reporter: mentioned on the trail. >> i can tell you one thing about my wife of 43 years, she is 200% behind me. >> reporter: but unlike other candidates' wives -- >> she's going to serve, i'm going to shake wives. >> reporter: gloria cain has not been stumping for her husband. >> my wife and i, we have a family life, and she is maintaining the calmness and the tranquility of that family life, so when i do get a day off of the campaign trail, i can go home and enjoy my family. >> reporter: the reluctant campaigner is now stepping forward to defend her husband against sexual harassment allegations. in an interview with greta van sustern will air. >> to hear such graphic

allegations. >> he put his hand on my leg. >> and know that that would have been something that was totally disrespectful of her as a woman, and i know that's not the person he is. he totally respects women. >> reporter: two other women filed claims and received cash settlements, from the national restaurant association where cain served as president. gloria says the claims do not match the husband she knows. "i'm thinking he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said." cain has repeatedly denied any inappropriate behavior. >> the charges and the accusations ari absolutely reje. >> reporter: fighting back yet acknowledging the strain on gloria. >> she can get angry like anybody else. >> reporter: is she angry about this. >> oh, yes. she'll tell you right now she's

angry about it. >> reporter: the family still finds time to laugh at themselv themselves. your mother said your father talks too much. >> a lot, per se. >> we're immune to it. that's what it is. >> and long before cain's campaign was hit by these allegations, he had said he was running an unconventional campaign, so despite the fact we're accustomed to getting to know candidates' families throughout the process he says it was always his plan to keep his family having private lives and rarely appearing on the campaign trail. gloria is doing something important for cain, acting as a character witness. >> kelly o'donnell in washington this morning, thank you very much. let's get a check of the rest of the morning's top stories with natalie morales. >> good morning, ann, welcome back, matt. good morning, everyone. several major world leaders are supporting a u.s.-backed plan to

create a pacific free trade bloc. from the apec summit in hawaii, president obama said no option was off the table in preventing iran from building a nuclear weapon but the president had harsh words for china as well saying the nation must grow up when it comes to trade and currency practices. following the gop presidential debate this weekend, president obama denounced waterboarding as torture. herman cain and michele bachmann said they'd reinstate the controversial practice to interrogate terror suspects. trouble for anti-wall street protesters in several u.s. cities this morning, in portland, oregon, police drove hundreds of demonstrators from their encampments and arrested dozens of others. in oakland, california, authorities are warning protesters a similar crackdown will come soon. in denver, officers and protesters sparred on sunday, prompting arrests and several minor injuries. some important health news for you this morning. the number of adults with diabetes worldwide has doubled since 1980 and now the

international diabetes federation is forecasting that the number will double again by 2030, meaning that one in ten adults would be struggling with diabetes and most would have type ii, which is the kind linked to weight gain and a sedentary lifestyle. some amazing pictures to show you from the snowy steps of kazhakstan where a team of american and russian astronauts blasted off on a mission to the international space station. the nasa astronauts hitched a ride on the russian soyuz space capsule and the first trip to the station in the post space shuttle era. justin timberlake promised to take chelsea desantis to the marine ball, backed by buff marines asking justin timberlake to be their date. there they are, the singer and actor posted he was proud to be there and enjoyed the chance to be among his heroes or as one marine who attended the ball put

it "we all brought sexy back." justin timberlake is the lucky one there. he said he was so moved by the experience. very cool. >> good for her. that's a nice story. natalie, thank you very much. mr. roker is here, a little warmer. >> natalie didn't you want to finish your second day guess? >> i'm going with -- >> she was still talking over the weekend. i got texts about it. >> madrid. how's that? >> longest guess in the history. >> i worked out every detail of that clue. you got to give me credit. >> and yet still wrong. >> so close, but yet so far. >> anyway, good to see you, my friend. a great job. >> thank you. we've got a frontal system that stretches from canada to texas and there's rain all along this system. warm air ahead of it, cold air behind it. the rain is starting to fire up in west texas, rainfall amounts anywhere from about a half an inch to an inch and as we travel along the front you'll see heavier rain into little rock and indianapolis, cleveland,

pittsburgh, the risk of strong storms there and moving all the way up into maine anywhere from >> good morning.f an inch of a we have some cloud cover to start the day. the chance for rain increases to about 30% by late in the afternoo ? that's your latest weather. ann? >> al, thanks. it's the end of an era. ville vee yo berlusconi, best known for his wild parties is out of a job today. richardeningle is in rome with a look back. richard, good morning. >> reporter: good morning, ann. european markets are reacting

cautiously but positively to italy's political changes, after an embarrassing exit for mr. berlusconi. silvio berlusconi was once untouchable, a self-made man he started out selling vacuum cleaners and as a cruise ship crooner. but the man from milan struck his fortune founding a media empire and now worth about $9 billion. colorful, and vain, he wore a bandana to cover new hair plugs, he's seen to many italians to have a midas touch and a controversial playboy spirit. >> translator: sometimes i see a beautiful girl, i say better to like girls than to be gay. >> reporter: berlusconi is to have hosted bunga bunga sex parties, a phrase he borrowed from moammar gadhafi.

with each scandal, italian politics became more of a laughing stock to other european leaders. >> berlusconi was money, sex, showing off. people are tired of this. >> reporter: what brought berlusconi down wasn't his scandals, it was the economy. italy's slow growth, huge debt and at times ridiculous politics spooked international creditors. interest rates for italy to borrow money soared to unsustainable levels last week. so italians said arriverderci, silvio. thousands toasted with spumanti, calling berlusconi a baffoon. the new prime minister designate couldn't be more different, march yoe monti, a sober

economist with gray hair, his own. >> a man very restrained, very shy, economy, with wife been together for all-time. >> reporter: monti promised to end the economic crisis with urgency and scruples. >> it means there is another italy, which is not just an italy with prostitutes, money, corruption and lack of international credibility. >> reporter: berlusconi is not done with politics efforts but will double his efforts to reform the italian political system. >> richard engel, thanks. coming up an an exclusive tour inside michael jackson's home including the motivational messages he wrote to himself on his private bedroom mirror and what his kids wrote for him but first this is "today" on nbc.

still ahead, 19 kids, more on the way. why does america have a love/hate relationship with the >> this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am stan stovall. there are problems on 95 this morning. >> not the way you want to start your commute on monday morning. delays in harford county are significant. backed up from 543 pettitte just past mountain road due to accident taking up the left lanes. get off at 543 if you can and get on to pulaski highway.

philadelphia road, we have problems, so avoid that this morning. if you want to take a southbound 795, jammed approaching the beltway. beltway delays in place as well on the outer loop. she is tracking police activity, so you may find a that a bit of a delay on eastbound 50. on 795, that is the pace of things southbound. we have an accident, and it is taking up one lane at there. of's switch to a live view traffic on i-95. the pace is pretty much the same there. perhaps that is out of there. we are waiting for the delays to ease up out of our ford county. tony as a check on your forecast. >> there is nothing going on

weather-wise. sunshine is sneaking through the clouds. that is the case most of the day. 53 in parkton. mild start. the average high temperature is in the upper 50s. we will make it up to 67. 30% chance for a wrench or later in the day. chance for rain will go up latenext couple of days. the best chance will be tuesday night and wednesday morning.

♪ happy to greet you at 7:30 on this monday morning, november 14th, 2001. the rockefeller christmas tree surrounded by scaffolding but it will be shining bright very soon. we are glad we have people on the plaza this morning. inside studio 1a i'm ann curry alongside matt lauer. how are you holding up? >> okay, i'm fine. >> coming up an exclusive tour inside the michael jackson mansion where michael jackson spent his final days including the bedroom only he was allowed

inside and still remaining an inspirational message he wrote on a mirror himself. the duggars announced here they're expecting their 20th child. we received a huge reaction to this, both positive and negative. it nearly crashed our website. coming up, why people in this country have such strong emotions about that family right there. >> also this morning, have camera will travel, we'll look back at matt's spectacular where in the world is matt lauer, spanned five days, 30,000 miles and countless time zones. we're excited to see what's going on behind the scenes to make you get that on television. >> fun little stories we never got to. let us begin this half hour with the search for a missing 2-year-old boy out in washington state. now police say they're considering filing charges against that boy's mother as they investigate whether his disappearance might be somehow tied to a television show, "law & order."

nbc's miguel almaguer has more. >> reporter: investigators are growing more desperate. for a week search teams have scoured the streets of bellevue, washington, where sky metalwala vanished, just as baffling is his mother's story and lack of frustration. she told detectives when her car ran out of gas she left sky behind asleep inside the unlocked car as she and her 4-year-old daughter went looking for help. she says when she returned an hour later, sky was gone. but investigators seized her car and said her story doesn't add up. >> we test drove it, the vehicle operated just fine. >> reporter: sky's mother is in the middle of divorcing sky's father, solomon metalwala, who is actively involved in sky's

search, blamed his estranged wife even though police have not named her as a suspect. >> i do believe julia is responsible. if she can cooperate we can find where is our son. >> reporter: her lawyer tells nbc news she won't comment on the active investigation but the mother could now face criminal charges for leaving her son behind. >> that's certainly something we're considering but strategically that's not a decision that we've made yet. >> reporter: yet another bizarre twist in this case, bellevue police say they're intrigued by an episode of "law & order svu" that aired before sky vanished. in the drama, a mother tries to cover up her baby's death by saying her son was stolen from her car. >> that is julia's favorite show. >> reporter: police have now scoured her pardon me, a park where sky often played, even a city dump nearby, but today there is no sign of the little boy, only suspicion over his

disappearance. police say so far sky's mother refused to take a polygraph test and that her story is "falling apart." again she has not been named a suspect. multiple agencies, including the fbi, are working this case, matt. they say they're following several new tips. >> miguel almaguer in los angeles for us, thank you very much. let's get a check of the weather from al. >> thanks very much, matt. we have a nice crowd out here, a little cloudy but things will be okay today. more rain moving into the northeast later. let's show you what's happening, the week ahead we've got much above normal conditions for the eastern two-thirds of the country, but it's going to be wet from new england back into texas, a little snowy in the pacific northwest. midweek chilly weather makes its way into the center of the country, stays warm along the coast but wet and the latter part of the week we're talking about more chilly weather in the east, the warm weather starts to come into the mid section of the country and going to be wet and snowy in the pacific northwest and cooler as well.

this young lady from the birth place of spam, where is that? >> austin, minnesota. >> yes. >> good morning. mostly dry. we could see some rain showers late in the day. >> got a sweet 16. what is your name? ? taylor. >> happy birthday. >> thank you. >> check your weather any time of the day or not, if you have a good chance of spam whether to the weather channel on cable or weather.com online. matt? >> thank you very much. up next an exclusive tour

inside michael jackson's mansion where he spent his final days, inside the suite so secret only michael was allowed inside, right after this. capital one's new cash rewards card

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secrecy. jeff, good morning. >> good morning to you. we've seen the famous crime scene photos, snapshots of michael's final moments but that's it, until now. this morning you're about to see what no one has ever seen before. i got full access to michael's mansion and there are cameras captured everything from his inner sanctum, literally offlimits to everyone but him, to love notes from michael's children. welcome to 100 north carolwood in the heart of los angeles, where michael jackson spent his final months, and in true jackson style, the grounds are gorgeous, eclipsed only by the beauty inside. >> how are you, welcome? >> good to see you. thank you for having me. >> come on in. >> reporter: showing us around, darren julian and martin nolan from the auction house preparing to sell everything in here. the decor is majestic. michael lived in this mansion. ♪ why, why >> reporter: as he was rehearsing for his upcoming tour and as you look around,

michael's fingerprints are everywhere. as soon as you got to the top of the stairs you're greeted in this beautiful, giant foyer, with high ceilings and of course a piano. michael loved his music. he has a huge collection of pianos here and at neverland. but the real interesting section of this house right through these doors, this is michael jackson's private bedroom, and when i say private, i mean ultraprivate. michael's children weren't even allowed here, not his assistants, not his security guards, no one. this was for michael only. this was his bed and michael jackson didn't enjoy sleeping in a king. this is a california queen. something else that jumped out at me, a sittingia irin the bedroom and for somebody huge in the entertainment industry, no huge glad screen tv for michael jackson. this was his television set, a fairly standard model. but the real prize in the auction, when they started selling off michael's items, may be this armoire. you can see that michael

actually hand wrote something on the mirror, so every time he looked at himself, he would see this. train, perfection, march-april, full out, underlined, may, and a little stick figure that he drew on the bottom. michael was so desperate for this comeback and tour he wanted to see that motivational message every time he looked at the mirror. how much money would the mirror go for? >> we estimate it $6,000 to $8,000 if you owned it. because it's michael jackson's and because of what he wrote here he desperately wanted to make a comeback this was a constant reminder to him. >> how much will it go for then in. >> $40,000, $50,000. >> that's part of the point, this is michael's inner sanctum. >> anything in here will sell for more money because these were a part of his private life no one else got to see. >> how much of this is for sale? >> everything in the house movable is for sale. >> reporter: right through here is michael's personal bathroom, part of the master suite that is

so private only michael was allowed in here, so big it can fit a tub and a chaise lounge in the middle. something interesting through here in his shower by the way is enclosed in double sided glass is this shower bench. if you look up close, michael drew these stick figures on every piece of wood on the shower bench and this is for sale, too. right through here, as you go out the other side, this is michael's, well i guess this would be his closet. it would be an apartment in new york city for most people and we're told in his final days, this room was literally stacked with his belongings, every closet was filled, every tabletop was filled with stuff. michael loved accumulating stuff, and he kept a lot of it right in here. of all the rooms in the house, this one has the most meaning. it's been called the medication room. this is where michael jackson intent his final moments, in fact, it's in this very bed

where michael jackson spent his final moments and this bed is going up for auction soon. this is how we're used to seeing the medication room from crime scene photos. pillows everywhere, pillows thrown around, there's even a doll in the middle of the bed. dr. conrad murray administered the propofol right here at michael's bedside. of course this say piece of history now. >> like his inner sanctum anything in the room is going to have nor value but the bed we estimate 3,000 to 5,000, what the value is with the bed and it's historical significance in this room, it's going to be far greater. >> reporter: do you expect to get perhaps the most money of this particular item? >> we anticipate it being one of the top selling items. >> just down the hall more bedrooms, lavish and spacious. it's believed michael's children, prince, paris and blanket, slept here. in fact you can see the kids everywhere, prince carved his

name into this candle. and this is the kitchen, where the family spent much of their time during the day. >> a kitchen that's very similar to what they lived in at neverland, a home that was filled with love, and that's represented here on the chalkboard. "i love daddy. smile, it's free." >> the kids wrote that. the chalkboard is up for auction, too. also downstairs a living room, a formal dining room and just like neverland ranch, this mansion has a fully functional movie theater complete with velvet seats. michael didn't own this home. he rented it, fully furnished. the homeowner, no relation to the jackson family, wants to remain anonymous. she and the auction house will share profits when the items sell. when you step outside it is beautiful here. >> michael liked private surroundings that are immaculate. >> reporter: this is immaculate, his own private oasis, greenery his protection from the outside,

the pool, the poolhouse all part of michael's life in the final months but even this mansion suited for a king couldn't cure this king's pain. ♪ gonna make a change for once in my life ♪ >> 600 items will go up for auction december 17th in los angeles and by the way the owner has put the house on the market itself for upwards of $20 million. ann? >> thank you so much for your reporting. we'll have some of those items from that mansion live in our studio next month before they hit the auction block. coming up next, we'll relive the fun of matt's where in the world adventure and get some behind the scenes stories he hasn't yet told. first these messages. [ male announcer ] imagine facing the day

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♪ and just let me be [ male announcer ] this is your moment. ♪ your ticket home ♪ [ male announcer ] this is zales, the diamond store. if you sleep in your contact lenses. lucky for you, air optix brand has a lens approved for up to 30 days and nights of continuous wear. [ male announcer ] that's why they're recommended most for people who sleep in their lenses. visit airoptix.com for a free one-month trial offer. remember the novel "around the world in 80 days"? that's child's play for matt lauer because he did it in just five. we thought we'd look in this boonedoing boonedogle -- i mean adventure. >> you're going with boondoggle. >> how many hours would you sleep? >> for hours at spurts, you stop

and get fuel but you never get a full night sleep. adrenalin plays a big role. >> a bit. >> that first day, i mean -- namibia is beautiful. you've got to see the place, the place we got to spend the most time in because it was the weekend, skiing off the dune i don't know if you get a sense for how tall, 300 feet tall and it's just in the middle of nowhere, for as far as the eye can see there are the dunes that stretch out. this is the skeleton coast in a helicopter and you're going down the ocean, next thing you see the shipwreck in the middle of the sand, 600 yards from the nearest water. >> you didn't see any helicopter wrecks, did you? >> no, i didn't. lots of whale bones and jackals that inhabit that wreck there. it's just surreal. like something, remember "planet of the apes" and the statue of liberty at the end? >> they blew it all up! and then you guys had to switch gears. >> it was unexpected, supposed to be there thursday and went

there tuesday because of weather in switzerland. >> it would have been a cool show if you had to do that from that day. >> keep in mind the video of tuesday in switzerland was an eng camera. we couldn't get a signal up, couldn't put the dish up so they couldn't get the dish up. these were the flamenco dancers. >> that open of that show -- here is the video. >> that's what it was like on tuesday when we were supposed to be there. >> two days later -- >> we got to go. >> we have to talk about this old spice. that was insane. you had us howling back here when you started changing your clothes. that was so crazy. >> in barbados. >> i mentioned this offcam camera, you were going to do what the old spice guy did. >> no, shirtless, no. somebody said they knew this was a spoof because there's no way i'd ever wear that shirt on the air. >> or that mustache. you see when you rip off the

muss mustache the tape is still on there. >> i left it there. for all of the producers and the controlman, thanks very much. all under one roof. sears has all the styles they love, at prices you'll love. and all the money you save... well, that can be your little secret. right now, get an extra 20% off with your family & friends pass. that's real gifts. real joy. sears. to the flu. an accident... to asthma. a new heartbeat... to a heart condition. when you see your doctor, you don't face any medical issue alone. you do it together. at the american medical association, we're committed to preserving that essential partnership between patients and their doctors.

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>> this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am mindy basara. here is sarah caldwell and traffic pulse 11. >> it is better in some spots. southbound 95, those delays have cleared out. still, the closure on philadelphia road due to downed wires. we are at 32 miles per hour on west side. southbound 795 backed up out of owings mills. those delays are filtering out after an earlier accident prior to the beltway.

looking at inner loop delays as a result beginning on greenspring. southbound 83, harrisburg express right from padonia to the beltway, delays and york road and mount carmel. bay bridge, clear in both directions. 50 at maryland 8, eastern shore, traffic moving away from us. let's switch to an idea of traffic where we do have delays. jammed up towards lombard, where we have an accident taking up the left lane. tony, over to you. >> weather is nice and quiet at least. a touch of cloud cover, but no rain. 57 at b.w.i. at the high temperature is 57. we are already there at 8:00 in the morning. temperatures will be nice and mild.

30% chance for rain shower late in the day. best chance for rain will be tuesday night and wednesday. it cools off

we're back at 8:00 on a monday morning. the 14th day of november, 2011, 54 degrees out on the plaza, the crowd is loud and we'll take it. we've got an enormous monday morning crowd. something must be going on in new york city. out on the plaza i'm matt lauer along with ann curry and al roek pe roker. coming up in the last hour we'll talk about the duggar family. >> last week they announced they're expecting their 20th child. when they made that announcement our website almost crashed from the reaction, some positive, some negative.

why this hit such a nerve. also ahead, diane keaton is joining us in the studio this morning. she has written a new memoir, all about her life, her career, her loves, how her mother inspired her, and how having a family has changed her. i love diane keaton. i can't wait to speak with her. if you thought your job was filled with snakes and backbiters, check out these folks, part of the hip reality show "swamp wars" that's what they've got to deal with every day. >> it occurred to me we've been talking about and next week justin bieber in concert, the day b that was giving. for example, on monday, we've got rascal flats with natasha bedingfield and carole king and justin bieber. if you're in the new york area

check out one or all of the shows. >> but today you're here. >> so glad to be back. let us go inside, natalie is at the news desk with a check of the headlines. >> good morning again, matt, ann and al. the governor of pennsylvania is urging any more alleged victims of a former penn state football coach to step forward and contact authorities. former defensive coach jerry sandusky is charged with molesting eight boys he met through his second mile youth charity. it's been revealed the judge who released sandusky last week without making his post bail or wear an ankle monitor is a volunteer with the charity. on this program today the attorney for one of the alleged victims confirmed is he filing a civil suit against penn state. herman cain's wife is speaking out for the first time against the sexual harassment accusations against her husband. gloria cain told fox news she can't believe claims he harassed women in the 1990s.

she says her husband totally respects women and would have to have a split personality to do the things alleged. we head to wall street and cnbc's melissa francis is at the new york stock exchange. >> we have new leaders in italy and greece tackling debt issues. they are temporary, so they can go in and make the hard decisions without being beholden to special interests and lobbyists. we'll see if they can do it. overnight italy borrowed money, they had to pay a record rate to pay government bonds, dragging on europe even if markets. we're watching retail earnings on the health of the consumer. >> melissa francis, thank you. chelsea clinton is joining nbc news as a special correspondent. the daughter of former president bill clinton and secretary of state hillary rodman clinton will work upon stories for nbc's popular "making a difference" series. we welcome her today. now "what's trending on

today" justin timberlake is one of the top searches on google after saturday's marine corps ball. the sexy singer and actor escorted kelsey desantis. he wrote he was extremely moved spending time with so many heroes. >>. this is amazing, the time lapse nasa video from the international space station even captures last month's auroria borealis glowing over the horizon. michael j. fox went back to the past with a party rockin' version of "johnny b. good" in his fund-raiser in new york. fox has been battling parkinson's, he was recreating his character marty mcguy introduces 1950s teens to a guitar classic that had not been written yet.

8:05, back out to al with a check of your weather. >> thanks, nat. today is world diabetes day. you got a message. >> we're here to raise awareness for diabetes, we're with novartis. stay healthy and check for signs. >> pick city is charleston, west virginia, wsad, news channel 3. cloudy, warm, 75 degrees and as we check it out for the rest of the country, we've got a front stretching from texas up into canada, rain from upstate new york through ohio, back down to texas, risk of strong storms in the upper ohio river valley, mountain snows in the pacific northwest, rain in new england, showers in southern florida, slight risk of strong storms into central and southern texas and a good looking group here. where are you from? >> grand rapids, michigan. >> all righty. somebody picked it up, that's all that matters. >> good morning.inat

we have some cloud cover to start the day. the chance for rain increases to about 30% by late in the afternoon. and that's your latest weather. >> thank you very much. when we come back, and baby makes 20, why americans have such strong feelings about the duggar family, in both directions. but first these messages. [ female announcer ] what's so great about jcp cash?

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kids and counting" came to reveal yes you guessed it, number 20 is on the way and mara schiavocampo tells us the reaction. >> it led to more hits on the "today" show page, leaving so many comments they almost crashed the site. >> good morning, everybody. >> good morning. >> reporter: it all started with this. >> we are expecting our 20th child. >> michelle and jim bob duggar of tlc's "19 kids and counting" announcing on the "today" show last week she's pregnant again with baby number 20. >> we are due in april, and just thrilled. >> reporter: the news made headlines, instantly becoming a hot topic. >> i think it's a little outrageous to be honest. >> it's great. children are a blessing. >> reporter: viewers flooded the today.com website, not just to read the story but to discuss

it. >> it was the biggest story we've ever had on "today moms." we got more than 3 million hits and 15,000 people commented. the commenting was so fast and furious at one point we had to shut down the comments so it wouldn't crash the system. >> reporter: one viewer wrote "i home for hur kids' sake she goes through an early menopause." while negative outweighed the positive, defenders spoke out just as strongly one writing "the duggars have done better with their 19 than most do with their one or two." >> people take this story personally and look at the duggars and look at their own families and compare them and that really arouses some very strong passion especially in moms. >> reporter: a big concern for many, michelle's health. she's 45 and suffered from pre-eclampsia during her last pregnancy and in 2009 baby josie was delivered prematurely. the duggars says josie is a thriving toddler and the doctor has given them the green light for another pregnancy. >> we always have the motto in

our house there's always room for one more. >> are you excited, jordan? >> reporter: one family's big announcement getting an equally big reaction. >> commenters on today.com suggested baby names, jewel e, starting with a "j" just like all the other duggar children. >> thank you. the author of "scream free parenting" and hariette cole, of hariette cole media. why has the story caught a nerve. >> the shear volume of children is an extreme. >> unusual. >> the other thing is, this is a loving family and you look and see for many people who have one child or two or even three and have a lot of difficulty managing, and you see this family having loving children that seem to be very well behaved. how do they do it? i think that's a big question and that's part of the curiosity. >> fascination, maybe some

incredulity but maybe do you think some jealousy? because these kids are well fed, well dressed, well behaved and apparently the parents can afford to raise them. >> i think jealousy, envy. you look and you see that she gets to spend time with her kids, home schooling her kids so a lot of mothers who are out in the workforce are not spending that much time with their kids and she seems to have it all together. >> there's one daughter, 17-year-old ginger duggar, said that a lot of times people think we don't have enough time alone with our parents but our parents take time to spend with each one of us individually. is there any research that indicates whether it is possible to actually be enough of a parent to, when there are so many siblings? >> right. one of the myths about parenting now is that we have to devote our whole lives around our kids, right? and so we only have one or two and we're supposed to post every facebook photo or every note they play on their piano

recital. they can't do and that's good for our kids. it doesn't give them the impression the world revolves around them. they act self-centered and narcissistic. families a lot of the research shows they are healthier, they need to wake themselves up in the morning. >> healthy, more resilient, many independent and self-sufficient. there are negatives, too. i know most people i know who are in families where there are lots and lots of kids will say the older kids kind of help raise the younger kids. >> isn't that normal, though? it used to be that many -- >> older kids are just kids. >> so they have to -- they shouldn't be the parent, but in large families, where we used to have tons of large families especially in the south, it was traditional to have maybe not 20 but 10, 11, 12, the older kids would help out. >> one of the things i coach parents on, look, don't expect your oldest kids to take care of the kids as if they're a parent,

but so if you're expecting to babysit them, pay them like a babysitter. >> it's a great idea. i bet the parents with the kids may not think so. >> from the duggar it is seems they put their marriage before their kids. >> you can see that. >> they love each other. the kids are doing well. it's an amazing story. >> hariette cole and hal i'm sure this is not the last we'll hear about this. coming up next we have screen legend diane keaton in the house, talking about her life, her loves, her amazing career, being a mom, all of it, that's right, coming up, right after this. [ male announcer ] humana and walmart have teamed up

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♪ ♪ introducing hershey's air delight. experience new light and airy, melty bubbles. made from pure, delicious hershey's milk chocolate. new hershey's air delight. diane keaton has played so many memorable roles on the big screen during her ill lust reeious career. from the devoted wife as kaye adams in "the godfather. ". >> without calling and writing. >> to the neurotic ann yie hall. >> oh, well, ladee da. >> to "the first wives club." ♪ don't tell me what to say

that's just horrible. i hate you for this. >> but is her role as daughter, sister and mother that truly define her. her new memoir called "then again." good morning. >> how are you? i saw that clip with al pacino and all i can think about is that wig. i've never seen so much hair on my head. it felt like ten pounds. it was the worst experience. >> you write about al pacino. >> oh my god was he beautiful. >> i love you. i really do. >> i'm here. you like older women? >> i just love you. >> i appreciate you. i want you to know that. >> i have always thought of you as a very private person. you're not the one who makes the tabloid headlines. you keep things close to the vest. >> right. >> was it hard to sit down and write it? >> no, no, no, it was not hard because basically it was like a giant collage. i had a lot of information. i had my mother's words.

she wrote 85 journals over the course of her adult life so really it was an editing job and then i wrote journals, too, we were kind of kindred spirits in many ways and then i had my father's words and my grandmother hall was quite a character. >> let's make sure people understand, you wrote this memoir but realized early on it had to tell the story of your mom. >> it had to tell the story the way our life was kind of lived, bits and pieces saved here and there, so i put it all together and compared our two lives and kind of the same dreams. we kind of shared the same dreams, except my story is the story of a girl whose dreams came true because of her mother, dorothy, dorothy hall. >> who passed away in 2008 of alzheimer's. >> she did. >> mom lingers because she tried to save hur family's history through her words because it took decades before i recognized that her most alluring trait was her complexity. >> yes, oh she was fabulous and you know what she was, too, this great listener. i think about how the times i

just rushed to get home from school so that i could sit across from her at the kitchen counter and she would hear my sob stories and she was just highly evolved in that regard because she kind of taught me to think by just letting me roam through thoughts and it was kind of a precursor to, you know, analysis later. >> you write a lot about your life. you write a lot about your career, and i think it might surprise people with all your iconic roles, you look and you say something's got to give? maybe one of your favorite movies? >> there's no question about it. figure it out, pretend you're a woman. pretend you're 57. >> right. >> and you know, it's kind of over in terms of romantic comedy. okay, so then guess what? it happens, and then guess what? it's jack nicholson. >> and jack nicholson you write during the kiss, everything that came out of his mouth gave me the rush of a first time love over and over again. >> it did. >> it wasn't the script. it was jack and jack can't be explained. did he pay to you write that?

that's a resume item right there. >> no, no, no, you don't understand. you're not a girl. you get this thing, movies where you get to kiss men. it couldn't be more heaven, because of course, he has to follow the script when he's looking at you, and pretend like he loves you, even though he doesn't, then you pretend you love him but for me it frequently became that i would love them, all of the guys i got to kiss, but jack nicholson especially because there's just nobody kind of like him, and especially you know, jack nicholson probably in normal life wouldn't be wanting to kiss me at age 57. you no he what i'm saying? i think you underestimate yourself. >> you think so? >> i do. you write about woody allen and al pacino. on warren beatty, taught you a lot and encouraged you. "once warren chose to shine his light on you there was no going back. within his gaze i was the most captivating person in the world. he fed on every nuance of my lop-sided face and saw beauty."

>> that's what it felt like. it was exciting. with a warren when i was a kid i worked at the broadway theater and sold hotdogs. i remember seeing "splendor in the grass" and it was like no, i'd never seen anything like that. when i say "thing" it was like he was so die for, can you imagine? i talked to my mother about everything but i never mentioned warren beatty. i never went to that world. >> she would not have approved? >> she would not. >> because of his reputation? >> no, because it was too embarrassing to be aware of the fact that i had a crush on like a movie star and i didn't want her to know that i had those kind of kissing feelings, if you get my drift. >> several times in the book you write about being scared. >> i'm scared now. i'm terrified. >> there's no reason. when you talked how your life changed after annie hall what was scary? >> i wanted to retreat. i always felt safe in my family, safe with my mom and dad, and this was like a whole big world,

and my dream had come true and i don't think that i felt that i was vipable of handling it. it was too much. i don't know how you handle it. >> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. and mindy basara. let's get a check on the morning commute with sarah caldwell. >> finally, some improvement in some areas. delays in southbound 795. those are filtering out the accident we had earlier. 19 miles per hour on the west side. 52 on southbound 832 j.f.x. that actually is not accurate, because we are still seeing delays on the beltway down to 28. perry hall and white marsh boulevard at nottingham, we have an accident. 15 miles per hour on the north

side. philadelphia road between 152 and mountain road, we have downed wires. southbound 82 from york to mount carmel, we are watching and delays. we will see what is going on at perring parkway. now we have rate from belair road to its the harrisburg expressway. delays on southbound 83 to padonia. on timonium road, it looks good in this area. tony has a check on your forecast. >> it a little bit of cloud cover on the traffic cameras. we have at sunshine on the cloud deck. no rain out there right now. mild start for us this monday morning. we will make it into the upper 60s this afternoon. 30% chance for rain late this afternoon. best chance for rain will be tuesday night into wednesday

morning. we will jump back into the 60s. >> we will have another update at 8:55. can the aetna app make you healthier? well, that all depends on what you do with it. and there's an awful lot you can do with it. access your medical history, view claims, get reminders for mammograms, find in-network doctors, track your health goals... run with it.

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you need a car you can count on. ♪ this monday morning, november 14th, 2011, the crowds are building in rockefeller plaza. we have a christmas tree in place, surrounded by sta fo scaffolding. coming up, we're going to give you the parents' guide to raising teenagers. we're going to show you from an expert how to help them spread

their wings without crashing into a plate glass window. >> that's a good idea. also ahead we're going to take you behind the scenes of the hugely popular show "swamp wars." >> ooh, yuck. >> that's a tease? >> that's crazy. plus the amazing sandra lee is here, going to reveal how to throw a great party that's not going to break the bank. >> there's nothing she's made ever here that i didn't like eating. that's a good sign. >> that's always good. yes it is. we're going to help you reduce your stress when it comes to money. >> before we get to that you want to give us a check of the weather? >> i certainly will. that's why i'm here. let us show you as we look ahead to today, a risk of strong storms in the upper mississippi river valley, back through texas along the front, rain, mountain snows pacific northwest into the western plains. tomorrow the risk of strong storms in the lower gulf, wet

weather into the mid-atlantic states and the northeast, snow showers around the western great lakes. sunny and warm in florida, mountain snows, central rockies, sunny and mild southwest into southern california. that's what's going on in the country. >> good morning. mostly dry. we could see some rain showers late in the day. >> don't forget to check your weather any time of the day or night on the weather channel on cable or weather.com.

don't forget to check in with uncle willie scott. >> we love the sweet smell of autumn in the air. happy birthday, madeline griffin, thomasville, georgia, 104. loves southern cooking, me, too, and loves visiting her friends. this time of the year, ooh, i love it all. and this is laura triest, and she is from annapolis, maryland, one of the nicest towns in the whole world, i mean, annapolis state capital of the great state of maryland, and has worked for the cia and also sails the chesapeake bay. what a way to go. and florence hardin, santa barbara, california, 100 years old today, lives independently and loves to play bridge twice a week. drinks a little gin occasionally, yes, don't mind if

i do. jack reingold, great beer, of boynton beach, florida, 100 years old today, avid sports fan, very, very active with all kinds of things in this life, and he says ohonesty and integrity, that's the ticket. and here, mabel feddersen of germantown, wisconsin, good cheese and sausage. loves to paint, do two houses in an hour and a half. secret to longevity she says is always trying to help people, and keeping on the good side of things. how about that? finally, an anniversary, 80 years they've been married, nile and alice duvall of miamisburg, ohio, 80 years they've been married. secret to longevity in marriage, sharing lots of laughs, and i believe in that. it's a laughing if you don't

laugh when you're married you'll fold up. that's all there is. back to washington. good laugh. >> thanks a lot. by the way you missed one, aunt trudie is 100 years old today. up next scenes from "swamp wars" but first this is "today" on nbc.

when we last saw nbc's kerry sanders he was drinking a martini in a tuxedo high in the swissals. today he's pretty much in the opposite place, deep in the florida everglades for behind the scenes look at the most popular shows on animal planet called "swamp wars." you are really down to sea level. kerry, good morning. >> reporter: it's good to be back down at sea level. i'm also slightly nervous

because of what you see on "swamp wars." so much of reality tv is a real event that then is glammed up with hollywood mix but on "swamp wars" is what you get, it's real, raw, and the drama is high tension, as it's man versus predator. "swamp wars." >> there we go. don't want you going in there. >> reporter: follows the lives of miami-dade's venom one unit. a unique team of seven firefighters called in when civilization -- >> almost bit me but i man. >> reporter: -- and nature clashes. >> little ones i can handle, but ones like that no. >> reporter: happens up to 20 times a day here for good reason. why are you calling it "swamp wars"? >> people think of miami as south beach. the reality is this was miami. miami was built in a swamp.

>> reporter: and as miami continues to grow, people are living right up against the everglades. as we skim through this river of grass, lieutenant scott mullen explains how their everyday work turned into a tv show. it began simply enough with a home video. >> oh, okay. >> don't let him bite you. george, give me your glove. dude! >> we hear the stories, oh, you're just talking and that never could have happened. you didn't catch that. i started carrying a camera with me to take proof that it actually happened. >> reporter: the newest battle these days? >> this is the one i dug out from under the shed. a tegu lizard, like the monitor lizard of central south america. >> reporter: it's presumed a one-time owner set two free and now the tegu population has multiplied beyond anyone's expectation. lieutenant lisa woods knows all

too well these lizards like to hide. >> belly crawl through here. >> reporter: this encounter -- >> ooh, i see him. >> reporter: under a home. you're not afraid as you're calling under there? >> no. i was afraid he would get away. that's what i was afraid of. >> reporter: but the rest of america was afraid watching you in there. >> apparently so. i get a lot of comments about that. >> reporter: tegu captures to date, 119. and then there are the snakes, diamond head rattlers. where did you find him to begin with? >> in somebody's yard. >> reporter: burmese pythons like the tegus, were pets released into the wild, that are now an epidemic. >> not too big. >> reporter: the miami-dade fire department now houses the largest anti-venom bank in the world. >> north american bit by water moccasins, copperheads, black widows, scorpions, king cobra, malaysi

malaysian, australian, french, peruvian, kocosta ricans, we ha the world covered. more than 1,000 calls a year for life-saving anti-venom. >> it's liquid gold. >> reporter: the best advice? >> the main thing we like to say is don't do what we do. >> reporter: but with their supervision. >> go for it. >> can't be hesitant. he who hesitates is lost. >> reporter: i gave "swamp wars" a try. got it. and you can see the snake there did not like being captured, snapping at the camera. this is that seven-foot python here which appears menacing until you look at this. this is a 16-foot python that was captured out here in the last month inside a 76-bound deer. so one of the stars of "swamp wars" lieutenant scott mullen does that mean people should be afraid especially for children in. >> no, they're not a primary food source for the animals, not

something we look at. >> reporter: matt, clearly they're on to something and i don't know, theals are looking pretty safe right now. >> that's crazy. kerry, thank you very much. be careful over there. the new season of "swamp wars" can be seen on animal planet sunday night at 9:00, 8:00 central. tomorrow kerry goes behind "storage wars" about people who battle over abandoned storage units trying to find hidden treasure. up next, another battle, treasure. drinkin'? i'm drinkin' dunkin'. coffee -- black, straight up. extra cream, three sugars. iced coffee french vanilla. for me. iced coffee with a turbo shot. i'm drinkin' dunkin'. i'm drinkin' dunkin'. i'm drinkin' dunkin'. drinkin' dunkin'. america runs on dunkin' coffee.

woman: day care can be so to save some money, i found one that uses robots instead of real people. 'cuz robots work for free. robot 1: good morning... robot 1: ...female child. sfx: modem dial-up noise

woman: are there flaws? yeah, um, maybe. anncr: there's an easier way to save. anncr: get online. go to geico.com. get a quote. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. this morning on "parenting today," raising teenagers. how do you let them grow up and find their way in life? keeping them safe, all at the same time. we asked a group of teens how they thought their parents were doing.

>> my mom says her top three fears are me learning to drive, choking and me being abducted and somehow, she ties everything into those three issues. >> sometimes they'll be really strict, don't want me driving. >> my mom doesn't let me drive and i'm not going to like go drive to like some desolate location and hang out there by myself. i'm going to go see my friends. i have to do the check-in constantly. >> my parents are like oh, call me when you get here or text me once you see this. >> i was recently at a dance and i forgot to call my parents, i turned around and my dad was standing behind me. i was mortified. >> whenever i want to sleep over a friend's house they have to speak with those parents first, which as a 16-year-old, it kind of feels like they should be doing that to my 13-year-old brother and not me. >> my mom still likes to think i'm her little kid. she wants me to text her when i get to school. one day i didn't text her, she

calls the school going crazy making sure i got there. >> i understand it's for safety but i feel they should trust me enough that i say i'm going over this person's house, that i'm actually going to do it. >> when parents say they understand or they know where you're coming from, i don't believe it. >> my parents want me to talk to them like they're my friends but you can't because they won't take it and don't want to hear it. >> parents need to realize while they were teens once, they're not now, so their situations and our situations are not direct comparisons. >> as much as parents think they're helping us, sometimes they're really not. sometimes they make it worse, and they don't really realize. i think sometimes backing off is the best thing. >> wendy mogul is a psychologist and author of "the blessing of a b minus" using jewish teachings to raise resilient teenagers. good morning to you. >> good morning.

my daughter turned 13, can i go to the store by myself? when can i do it? i said kind of never. you tell me what's wrong with what those parents have been saying to their kids? >> if you never let her go to the store by herself, when she goes off to college she's going to be dazzled and dazed because the only person in charge of her will be the 19-year-old resident adviser in the dorm and that's kind of scary. so we want them to get a little experience with independence. >> okay, point well taken and that actually is the practical advice but what is the dynamic that makes this so difficult between teenagers and their parents. >> one is that we feel a tiny bit betrayed. >> as parents. >> because they were so loving and tender. >> and cute. >> and looked great because we picked out all the outfits, and then they get just bigger and lumpier, and they're not quite as forthcoming as they were earlier. >> they get cranky. >> they get cranky, as they should.

>> as they should. >> because we are getting on their nerves, because they believe that they should be in charge of everything, and we kind of believe they should be in charge of nothing. >> you actually add to that a very interesting point. you say that teens actually "kick at authority unconsciously trying to make parents less attractive so it will be easier to leave them." there is a sense that they know something that we don't know, which is that they need to get ready and getting rid of us to some degree is part of that process. >> and we are in the habit of trying to keep them alive. so take the example of driving, where the parent sits in the car and we're just constantly trying to hit that imaginary brake. we are thinking about when they were toddlers and we didn't want them to run out into the street. >> but there's all kinds of statistics, webbndy, stats that told us kids until they're 21 don't really have the reaction times as adults, so that is why driving is actually more dangerous. you get all these statistics about child abductions, and what

happens to our young people when they don't have, you know, parental advice, so, guidance, so of course we're going to be more nervous. shouldn't we be? >> what's happened to parents is that our intelligence and our creative imagination have turned into paranoia, because news like abductions are national news in seconds. so we imagine these children in peril the minute they're out of our sight. >> the bottom line is, if you want to have a resilient child, what do you do then when you're in that panic mode, about something they're about to do? what's your best advice to parents? >> so, for example, the only way they can learn to drive is by practicing a lot, and you kind of use a barometer and judge them, instance by instance, to see if they're home when they said they would be home, if they remember to fill up the car with gas. >> and praise them when they do that? >> and praise them and appreciate it and put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put

it on the child. >> oh, wendy mogul you let me have a big breath and a lot of parents i think as well. thank you so much. >> thank you so much, ann. >> great advice. coming up next, sandra lee, she's in the house with some great ideas for throwing an easy and affordable cocktail party. but first, this is "today" on nbc.

this morning on "today's kitchen" affordable, easy entertainment step by step, ask hostess extraordinaire sandra lee, creating elegant cocktail parties does not have to take a lot of time or money. the new book is called "money saving meals." nice to see you. if i give up money and make everything cost less am i going to sacrifice taste, quality, is it going to be less healthy? >> it's more healthy. you have complete control over the ingredients and how much salt and sugar you put in. when you're saving money you have to invest more time, "money savings meals" on the food network. you're investing money in the convenience of items that are made already. >> we're going to give the cost of these things afterward and it's almost pennies what you're spending now. >> per serving on this particular dish, which is, by the way, my beautiful baby

potatoes, crispy, stuffed with sour cream and bacon and chives. so these are par boiled, eight minutes on that. >> new potatoes? >> you can use any small potatoes, red. whatever you have, is the first rule of saving money. in this book you'll save upwards of about 77% on the show 35 to 50. my goal was 25. >> you scooped them out and made the mixture, sour cream, bacon, a little bit of mustard and chives. you'll put them in there. where do these go in the oven? >> no, you scoop these out, put them in the oven for 15 minutes, 400 degrees, got salt and a little bit of rose mary and pepper. you make your miss tour and pxt into the bowl and you're done. first course with chicken sliders, spicy barbecue mayo naz on this. >> making these for about $1.23

per portion. >> that's like two apiece, mayo naz, your favorite barbecue sauce. hot sauce will heat this up and again some mustard. these are pantry basics. >> you also buy thighs on the bone. you save money there, and thighs are about the most flavorful part of the chicken. >> and least expensive as well. so skin on, bone in, you saute onions with garlic, drop them skin side down. this is about 30% the cost of breasts, bone in and skin on. then just some herbs going there, a half a cup of water in there, simmer this for an hour, you pull it. >> which is investing your time, takes a little extra time to do that. >> pulled pork sliders. here is the deal with this. >> pulled chicken sliders. >> sorry. there is your mayonnaise. this is a head of cabbage. one cup chicken tacos with cucumber salsa. in a bowl you'll add a little

bit of vinegar. i like apple vinegar, a little bit of sugar and some crushed red pepper, whiz that together, you want this to combine, and then you drizzle that over the top. >> that's the whole sauce for the coleslaw? >> toss it and that's it. >> from here to here we spent about $6. >> mmm. great. >> and this is a whole meal. >> behind us i want to show some of these guys. >> hello, glad to see you. come on, let's go eat something. look at these! >> i'll eat myself there. >> how come you always show up for the cocktails? >> we're not dumb. >> cucumber cups stuffed with shrimp cocktail. you have a little bit of cilantro, shrimp and lemon juice, $1.25 per person, a sparkling spritzer bar with have nail lavodka you made yourself, a little bit of sparkling water, some persecco or sparkling white

wine. these are simple syrups, three cups of water, three cups of sugar, simmer it down. in each one is a separate combination of flavor. >> i got soaked by that. we're back after your local news. sandra, thank you. >> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am mindy basara. state police are searching for the driver responsible for a deadly hit-and-run. troopers say they found a woman believed to be in her 20s on route 3 south of annapolis road. the driver fled the scene, but

witnesses report seeing a car with a broken windshield. if you have information, call state police.

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