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tv   Today  NBC  January 4, 2012 9:00am-10:00am EST

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we're back now more of "today" on a wednesday morning, the fourth day of january, 2012. it is fridged any new york city, 13 degrees, probably not much more than that, same as that right now, going up to about what, though? >> upper 20s. >> wow. >> bundle up. in case you're going out. here in studio 1a we're chewing bison moroccan stew. how good was that? >> mmm! >> tasty. >> so flavorful. >> still chewing it. >> a little wine? >> i don't think there was -- there was in the meatloaf exactly. >> okay. >> let's go get for meatloaf. i'm matt lauer along with ann curry and al roker and tamron
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hall. covering the iowa caucuses, mitt romney just edged out rick santorum by eight votes. we'll have the results and tell you who is reassessing a campaign coming up just ahead. >> that's an amazing story. also a strange story at the sprawling estate on the property where the royal family has been spending the holidays and there's now an investigation. it's really unusual and a mi myste mystery. our "money 911" team has advice on everything from building an emergency fund to what you need to know about your credit before you buy or renovate a home. a popular new year's resolution is to lose some pounds, a lot of too emwant to do that, whether you want to drop baby weight like mariah carey who looks amazing or be lean like kate middleton and sister pippa. we have the celebrity diets that apparently worked, if you look. >> it's always good to have the ones that work.
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>> because it's sure a waste of time when they don't. >> you don't want to eat too much of the bison stew there, but that's all right. let us get the morning's top stories. natalie, good morning again. >> good morning to you guys once again as well. a big night in iowa ended with a with infrom mitt romney by the tiniest of margins. the victory won an endorsement from former gop nominee john mccain. congressman ron paul in third and newt gingrich came in fourth, fifth place finisher, texas governor rick perry is headed home to decide whether or not he will continue his white house bid, and michele bachmann canceled his campaign trip to south carolina following her distant sixth place finish in iowa. she's holding a press conference from iowa later on this morning. a possible motive this morning following the wave of arson attacks in los angeles. police say suspect harry burkhart was set off by his mother's pending extradition case. she faces fraud and embezzlement
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charges that could send her back to their native germany. burkhart lashed out verbally during his mother's first court hearing last week, just a day before the arson rampage began. police say a new york city man confessed to a string of fire bombing attacks on new year's day. he was arrested on a hate crime charge and several counts of arson. the arson attacks targeted a corner store, three homes and a major islamic center. no one was hurt. and some tragic new details reveal what sparked the christmas morning fire that killed three young girls and their grandparents in stanford, connecticut. smoldering ambers were removed from the fireplace because the girls were worried about santa coming out of the chimney. according to investigators, the embers were placed in a bag outside without being doused in water and winds carried them back to the house. the girl's mother, madonna badger and contractor michael
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borcina escaped. authorities are also investigating if borcina had permits to renovate the house as neither he nor his company were registered in connecticut. now to the murder/mystery unfolding at the sandringham estate of queen elizabeth. a woman's body was found on the grounds earlier this week. now police are treating the case as a homicide. michelle kosinski is there with details. >> reporter: the body of the woman found less than two miles from the queen's home. the palace has not commented and police are revealing very few details. they had an autopsy done on the remains yesterday but still won't say why exactly they believe this was murder. the queen went for a ride on horseback, through the grounds of her beloved sandringham estate, where the whole family, including the newest princess, catherine, spent christmas together but that same night, the queen and husband prince philip, recovering here from minor heart surgery, got some most disturbing news.
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from police. >> a member of the public had been walking their dog in the area and had found the body of a female in a wooded area. >> reporter: the body of a young woman, found on the grounds of their estate about a mile and a half from their main residence, and police are calling this murder. >> and what do you know about what's happened to her? >> very little at this time. >> reporter: sandringham, though, is enormous, more than 19,000 acres of sprawling countryside north of london, including little towns, farms, woods, a 500-acre park with foot paths, which is accessible to the public. it's been a favorite retreat of the royal family since queen victoria and where many of its members have come to peacefully spend the end of their lives. queen victoria's grandson, heir to the throne, died of illness here as did queen elizabeth ii's grandfather portrayed in "the king's speech" movie. also her father, king george vi.
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this place where elizabeth relished the outdoors growing up. princess diana was born at a house on the estate. now the public watches a murder mystery unfold on royal land, stunning here, the police delve into cold case files and a muddy underbrush for clues, while the queen remains in residence. so what do we know so far about this victim? she was between 15 and 23 years old. her body had been here between one and four months and police say the autopsy didn't reveal any evidence of accidental death, shooting or stabbing. natalie? >> michelle kosinski the mystery continues in sandringham, england, thank you. grownups weren't the only tough ones making decisions on iowa caucus day. students at one des moines school held a caucus for cookies. after weeks of campaigning for
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their favorites to learn about the political process, the winner was chocolate chip, followed by m&m cook es followed by sugar cookies. all my favorites. seven minutes past the hour. al, hard to beat the chocolate chip. >> i want lorna doone as a write-in. >> wow. >> temperatures, it's 3 in ca caribou. in atlanta 28 degrees. we have freeze warnings throughout friday, 48 in miami, we're not going to see much of a change although as you look at that jet stream it jets way to the south here in the east, that's why it's so cold. record-breaking temperatures out west where it is way up to the >> good morning. it is still a cold start on this
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wednesday. we will start out with sunshine. ♪ money, money, money always sunny in a rich man's world ♪ time for our "money 911" where "today's" experts get you off on the right foot. jean chatzky author of "money 911" david bach, author of "debt free for life" and this is his 100th appearance and sharon epperson, personal finance correspondent for cnbc and cnbc.com. good morning, everybody. >> good morning. >> good morning. >> we're going to get started first up, going with skype, we
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have carrie skyping from california. happy new year. what is your question? >> happy new year. my question is i'm looking to invest some money for the future, and i was looking to bank cds and online investments and i was wondering where is the best place to put my money for the long run? >> jean, what's your answer? >> keri, you're really young, what are you early 20s? >> 23. >> long-term you're better off putting your money into a stock market bond market portfolio than cds. you could put it in cds and it would be safe and you could find the best rates on the cds at a place called bankrate.com, if what you want is pure safety, but you're not going to earn more than 1%, maybe 1% and change on that money. if i were you, i'd open an i.r.a. or a roth u.r.a., if you have income and you can do that, and i'd invest that money in a stock and bond portfolio and let it grow for your retirement because you're talking long-term and good for you for doing this
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at age 20-whatever. >> 23. way to go, keri, thanks so much. to the phone, an early riser, this is lena calling in from anchorage, alaska. wow! i think this is our first alaskan call. lena, good morning. >> caller: good morning, happy new year. >> happy new year to you. your question? >> caller: i was laid off about seven months ago. >> i'm sorry. >> i've been living off my son's alaska fund dividend money saving for college education. when i do become employed again should i mak paying them back my priority or start an emergency fund account should life-changing events ever occur again? >> david, what do you think? >> again i'm sorry you lost your job. the answer is you need to do a combination of both. save money forñr emergencies, oe you get reemployed and use your 401(k) plan once you get reemployed and you need to pay it back. so i would divide the money. say you could save 10% of your money. simply divide it, 3% roughly into your 401(k) plan, 3% roughly in an emergency savings
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and 3% going into your paying it back for the college savings but the most important thing i can tell you honestly is you need to prepare for your retirement and you need to prepare for emergencies and the college savings plan should be your third priority. because your child can -- go get your kid to get good grades and do extracurricular activities so your child can get college aid for school. your retirement and security is the most important thing for your family. >> jean and sharon are nodding in agreement. thank you lena for your call. >> caller: thank you very much. >> thank you. to an e-mail from rebecca in manchester, new hampshire. we would like to do home improvements but are unsure about the best way to take out of a loan. should i take it against myself out of my 401(k), get a bank loan or get store credit at a home improvement store? >> the first thing they need to think about whether it's affordable, makes sense do it and set a date when they're going to pay the money back if
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they borrow the money and how. what are you going to do to make sure you stick to the timetable. the other thing you need to do is think about the 401(k) loan as something that yes you're paying yourself back but this is going to be taxable money when it's taken out and after-tax money you're paying back. when do you that, make the contributions steadily to a 401(k) so you get the compounding interest. in terms of a bank loan, a personal bank loan the interest rate is probably high for a store credit or credit card look for 0% interest card you can get with a promotional rate and the promotional rate over a period of time if you pay it back in that period of time that sounds like a great deal, that may be a very good way to go. the other thing to consider say home equity loan or a home equity line of credit if you have the equity in the home but the bottom line is really make sure thaw need this home improvement, and make sure you can afford it, without going in debt, if at all possible. >> and now, we've got one last e-mail from nancy in ft. wayne, indiana, she writes i have one
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credit card that has a balance of approximately $10,000. it went into collections in 2010. my credit report states the credit card has been "charged off" and closed by the credit grantor. i want to buy my first house this year but wonder if i should contact the collection agency and start paying it off or let it go. >> don't let it go. even though it's gone to collections, do that and pull a credit score so you know where you stand. you may want to wait a little while before buying that home until that score pops back up. >> jean chatzky, david bac and sharon epperson thank you. sharon is hanging around at 9:30, answering your questions in a live web chat. just go to today.com. from breaking your tech habits to eating healthy, simple strategies for making 2012 more productive. up next, the secret of the stars, how your favorite celebrities shed their extra pounds. first, these messages.
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♪ i'm sexy and i know it if your new year's resolution is to slim down we have secrets of a-list stars that help them lose weight and stay in shape. ladies, good morning, good to have you here. >> good morning. >> let's go through the list, mariah carey, so many of us were shocked by her dramatic weight loss. she had twins in april, gained 70 pounds and immediately took the weight off it seems. >> wow. >> what did she do? >> she looks incredibly hot now if you've seen her recently. she looks incredible and she gained 70 pounds which is so much. she dropped 40 right after, she was breast feeding. >> she did have twins. >> but that's still a lot of weight. she had a c-section. she had a bad pregnancy. look at the split screen, look at how amazing she looks. she lost the first 40 breast
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feeding and water weight and the following 30 using jenny craig. she was uncomfortable. she said she wasn't able to walk around her house with her husband, so many people can relate, and now she struts around and feels fantastic. >> if you look like her, why not? what are the advantages of the meal programs like jenny craig or others? >> she did lose the last 30 using jenny craig and in fact she's now a spokesperson and you probably will see her on some of the commercials. they have different caloric levels. she chose between 1,200 and 1,500 calories. there's no fuss, no calorie counting, you don't have to cook, you don't have to prepare. they do all the work for you and the meals are balanced and what i like is they include low-calorie treats like fudge brownies and cheesecake so you don't feel deprived and applause to mariah carey on behalf of all women over 40 and women that have kids because she showed us that you can snap right back and
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look drop dead. >> she looks amazing. you're right. let's move on. i think the most celebrated woman in the world, certainly the most watched woman in the world in 2011 was kate middleton of course. >> right. >> she is very slim and gorgeous. no need to lose weight there anyway. but she did lose some weight it seems during the wedding. what is her secret? >> it's hard enough getting married, let alone getting married and having every camera on you and being scrutinized. she did drop weight but she's overall healthy. she doesn't have a personal trainer. she works out in a gym doing running and weight lifting. when she's in wales she's outside all the tile. she hikes and uses small weights and i'm told that her prince sometimes joins her on the weekends and it's interesting, mariah's husband, too, they don't weigh themselves. a pair of pants if it doesn't fit that's how you know you've gained weight. >> contrary to a the love the rumors she followed this extreme diet. >> duchess and duke diet.
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>> she keeps things simple, eats a lot of oatmeal, a whole grain filling fiber, eats tons of fruit which blasts that radiant complexion with vitamins and minerals and antioxidant and i love that she nibbles on almonds, help to drive down your cholesterol and they're great for weight management. any nut in fact, because it has that heart healthy fat so a great snack for anybody wanting to look like kate. >> perfect example of the protein pack. pippa middleton, her hot sister. she's doing a lot of working out, jill, radio iight? >> the hot sister with the hot backside, that was the headline, pippa's rear, her butt. people wonder how she gets in shape. she completed a triathlon in june and two weeks later, a cross-race triathlon followed by a 30-mile hike. that's 6,000 calories, she burned off 12 meals.
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>> and almost two pounds of weight loss. >> she does pilates as well which helps you shape not only your backside but other muscle parts. >> she's a major athlete and eats a lot of fish which of course is great for your heart and great for your brain and i always encourage people to eat at least three fish meals per week. >> kim kardashian known for her beautiful curves. she's lost a little weight recently but kept the curves. she's petite, 5'2". >> she's single, been under a lot of stress and travels a lot. so she does work with a celebrity trainer a couple of hours a week for an hour at a time and concentrates on four muscle groups and maximizes her time. her trainer says she doesn't even take water breaks. >> and joy, quickly, how does she then -- >> she has recently nixed the sugar. no more sugar in her diet and she's focusing on protein so protein at all of her meals and for breakfast she has eggs with turkey bacon and turkey bacon is much leaner than full fat bacon
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so that's great. when it comes to eggs, one whole egg, two to three egg whites. eat breck nast liakfast like ki. >> thank you, jill martin and joy bauer, thank you. for more celebrity diet secrets, check out the new issue of "us weekly." if you're looking for more diet inspiration go to today.com to read daily tips and our 10,000 pound weight loss challenge, that is joy bauer's challenge to you still to come. >> sign up! >> whether you're a stay-at-home mom or business executive you have a lot to get done. we'll have the secrets to being more productive in 2012 but first these messages. ♪
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why one woman says it's polite to stare. >> and the latest moves on keeping you fit. and major medical? major medical, boyyyy! [ beatboxing ] ♪ i help pay the doctor ♪ ain't that enough for you? ♪ there are things major medical doesn't do. aflac! pays cash so we don't have to fret. [ together ] ♪ something families should get ♪ ♪ like a safety net ♪ even helps pay deductibles, so cover your back, get... ♪ a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aflac! [ male announcer ] help protect your family at aflac.com. [ beatboxing ] [ male announcer ] help protect your family at aflac.com. like many chefs today, i feel the best approach to food is to keep it whole for better nutrition. and that's what they do with great grains cereal. see the seam on the wheat grain? same as on the flake. because great grains steams and bakes the actual whole grain. now check out the other guy's flake. hello, no seam. because it's more processed. now, which do you suppose has better nutrition for you?
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mmm. great grains. the whole whole grain cereal.
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>> live, local, latebreaking. this is a wbal-tv 11 news update. >> cold start this wednesday. with clouds thickening up into the morning and afternoon, temperatures will be hard to move. we will make it up to 30 or 33 degrees this afternoon. a chance for snow flurries tonight. clearing up tomorrow.
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♪ they're going to go. they're going to fight. are you ready? they're going to fight. >> wow! steel cage match. wow, that's how' done. the world renowned dog whisper cesar milan, helped pooches and their owners and an errant vacuum cleaner. he's going to bring his quiet magic to studio 1a tomorrow on "today." you should bring your dog mae love, a biter. >> i have a four-pound chihuahua
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that bites everyone. >> chihuahua nature. >> i feel like the bad parent when we go out. >> why don't you bring her in tomorrow? >> i'm busy. i'm not that concerned, she doesn't bite me. >> wow. does your dog bite? no, that's not my dog. coming up in this half hour -- >> wow. >> -- how to be more productive in 2012, whether you want to eat healthy, learn how to say no because you've got a lot on your plate, we've got tips to help you get more done. >> wow, what a caring person. all right, we teach our kids to be polite, say it's not polite to stare especially at someone who has a disability or who may look a little different from us but you're going to meet one woman who knows what it's like to be stared at and says go ahead, it's okay, and she's here to explain why, coming up and she hopes other parents take away a positive and empowering message. >> interesting. we'll get a check of the weather, really cold out. >> sure is along the eastern seaboard. out west nice and warm. for today we've got some
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lake-effect snow in the eastern great lakes, heavier rain moves into the pacific northwest, later this afternoon, windy in the plains, record highs in the northern plains as well. tomorrow it's a little colder there, as that cold air makes its way in, you can hear the dog days right now. sunny skies through the southwest, some showers in the pacific northwest, that cold air hangs on here in the northeast and new england. that's what's going on in the country. here's what's happening in your neck of the woods. >> good morning. a cold start for us. temperatures will be about 10 degrees above average. high tem >> and that's your latest weather. >> thank you, al.
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let's welcome victoria gotti, one of the 18 contestants on the upcoming new season of "celebrity apprentice" on nbc. good morning. >> good morning. >> thank you for sticking around. of all the 17 contestants, debbie gibson, arsenio hall, lou ferrigno, the incredible hulk, such a wide-ranging cast. >> it's fierce. it's a great group. when i first came in, i will admit i took more to the men's team initially. >> why is that? >> i don't know. i found out through trial and error, i didn't know this, i mean i've aboutbeen in corporat america since i was 15, i think everyone here has. the women went in with a different mind-set and later on i was told by a few of the girls, get it through your head, at this game, women fight and it goes on forever. the men have an argument, they
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go outside and come back ten minutes late ear enbe fine. i waslike okay, i get that. i think everybody kind of like the women were like fierce. >> who was going at each other's throats? >> everybody. >> are you going at teresa gi giudice's throat? >> no, surprisingly. but another. >> who? let's put it this way, i will say this without giving away a lot. we did have one of the longest board rooms i think in history recently for the show. >> why? >> because of a debate let's call it. >> a debate. >> let's call it a debate. >> being politically correct. >> yeah, it was about something that someone said, was said and my attitude, my response was, it's on tape.
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let's go to the camera, and you can't really -- you know, so yeah, nasty is a bigger word. >> victoria gotti thank you. >> interesting season. >> abc, for impoverished abused boys and girls and a great charity. >> good, well glad to have you a part of "the celebrity apprentice" 12th season beginning february 12th. there you go, 9:00/8:00 central here on nbc. stay tuned. coming up next be more productive in 2012, simple strategies to help you get things done right. i feel very patriotic. ♪ >> we do, too. we just want to get things done. >> marching orders. [ female announcer ] kleenex brand tissues
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it helps keep you in the know every step of the way. one more way quicken loans is engineered to amaze. ♪ happy days are yours and mine ♪ this morning on "new year new you ♪ five secrets to getting things done in 2012, elizabeth mayhew, editor of "woman's day" magazine, good morning. >> good morning. >> why is it good to start off this year? >> we want to make 2012 the best it can be. remove all of the clutter and just get down to business. >> all right, first up on the list you say start the day on the right foot by decompressing. >> a lot of people think of decompressing something you do before you go to bed. research shows it's just as important if not more important to do it in the morning. think about it this way if you start a day off stressed out,
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angry, chances are you're going to have a harder time getting through because you'll be dwelling on that issue. take five to ten minutes in the morning, do something you love. the reason a lot of people exercise in the morning, read a book, listen to music, anything to get your mind away, studies show if you start the day off angry or stressed, you're going to be 10% less effective so this is a really good thing. >> you're not asking to dedicate too much time. five to ten minutes, take that time and get it together before you start off. next step you say, mindful food choices are important. >> listen, your food is your fuel. you want clean food, clean fuel. that's going to be what catapults you to get through the day so what you want to avoid is that afternoon slump after lunch. >> right. >> i pretty much would stay away from the big pasta meal. go for what most nutritionists tell you, clean vegetables, fruits, lean meats. also really important to keep your blood sugar even. you don't want to have the spikes because that will affect your productivity. things like nuts, we're always told to eat a handful of
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almonds, the perfect clean choice to keep you going through the day. >> okay and next up, you say avoid the rigid to-do list. first of all what do you define as a rigid to-do list. >> if you're a listmaker, i have to get through this otherwise my day is not productive. >> isn't this organized? >> allow for flexibility. effective people understand flexibility. think of like an old-fashioned video game where you need to get from point "a" to point "b" and things are coming at you and you need to readjust where you're going. you want to get to your "b" point but you need to allow for that and make different turns. update it and reprioritize. >> if we keep this ridgity schedule it only haunts us at night and a lot of times you're think being it throughout the day and even at night when it's time to sleep. >> ruminating over is it. repry orrizing and rejiggering, readjusting. >> next up technology, so many of us are adrikted to
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blackberries. how do we assess it so we can be more productive in a year? >> you want to be mindful of the task at hand so if you go to your computer to do something, stick to that. that can be very hard to do especially you know, within the past five years, think about what social network has done. >> start surfing, go to your facebook page, do whatever. >> one tip you can do if it gets out of control, do what you would do to your kids, put a website blocker on. block yourself from going to a site but you could also really change the time frame so you can limit the time frames that you set to doing the different things. >> i have a couple of friends online, supposed to be working and end up on farmville, i won't say any names but that's what happens. lastly learn to say no. no to what? >> productive people, no to, can you bake cookies for tomorrow's bake sale, can you take my kids to the movies? you have to be aware of what your schedule is and that's why it's so important that you keep
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that to do list but at the same time you really, really want to not feel the guilt, and not feel the embarrassment so one thing i'd looic to do is think of your friend who is as busy as you or somebody who is busier. would this be something they should do? chances are they say no. you're thinking objectively. take your own advice and say no. >> elizabeth, thank you very much. good to see you. happy new year. >> happy new year. up next, one woman says go ahead, let her kids stare. her inspirational message, right after this. tool, you tell us what you want to pay, and we give you a range of coverages to choose from. who is she? that's flobot. she's this new robot we're trying out, mostly for, like, small stuff. wow! look at her go! she's pretty good. she's pretty good. hey, flobot, great job. oops. [ powers down ] uh-oh, flobot is broken. the "name your price" tool, only from progressive.
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use the hand towel analyzer at kleenex.com and find out what could be on your cloth hand towel. [ ribbits ] upgrade to kleenex hand towels for a clean, fresh towel every time. you bet. wow. man: do your simple return with the turbotax federal free edition, and now get our free, one-on-one, expert tax advice, live by phone or chat. get the federal free edition, at turbotax.com. you know the adage, it's not polite to stare. one mother is turning this
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wisdom around. meg zucker is an brian lawyer and mother of three trying to juggle the demands of home and career, a confident woman proud to say she's different. >> you got to love lady gaga, requesting born this way" hey i had that before her. that's my mantra all my life. ♪ baby i was born this way >> reporter: she was born with ectrodactyly. having one digit and one toe on each foot. >> it sets you from the viewpoint of i'm not just like everybody else. it's a phenomenal way to live, and i cherish it. >> meg's two boys, ethan 9 and charlie 6, also have ectrodactyly. the looks from strangers remind her they're different. >> they're staring at them as if there's something wrong and i want my kids to feel like they're beau difl because they
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are. >> reporter: it's not the stares but it's what happens after, she recalled a visit to the empire state building. >> all my kids want to do is look at the gorgeous view of manhattan and i couldn't help but see this woman, because she was physical lly grabbing her child as he started to point and whisked him away and all of a sudden i turn into something to be feared, for my kids. >> reporter: meghan decided to turn this upsetting incident into an opportunity to teach others by writing an article for "parents" magazine. her message, simple but surprising. >> parents, let your kids embarrass you. it's okay. >> reporter: she says don't avoid what you believe will be an awkward encounter. if your kid is staring, engage and embrace it. >> i know i have two fingers. i do. just allow curiosity to sort of govern naturally and if the kid has a question, then allow them to ask it.
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why were you born like that? we have an opportunity to tell them and move on. >> reporter: while the parent may walk away cringing, meg says she and her kids are grateful. >> it's a gift, because it gives us the opportunity to become someone that's not just something to be stared at. truly a gift. >> meg zucker is here along with family psychologist dr. jennifer hartstein. good morning. nice to have you both here. >> good morning. >> a lot of parents we've been in the situation you're embarrassed, mortified with what your child is doing. you say this is a unique gift, it's an opportunity for most parents. it's a teaching moment. why? >> absolutely, and first of all it's for most parents including myself. my kids have done the same type of outburst and it's a gift because it allows us, as i say in the "parents" article it allows when someone engages us to become someone instead of a something. if you stand back and stare, if you whisk away your child when all they're doing is being
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curious, then we feel like a something. when i say "we" anybody with a difference. it's not just a disability, somebody that has a big nose, anything like that. >> such a powerful message and you write so beautifully in "parents" magazine and jennifer let me bring you in. talk about the psychology of what parents are going through in that moment, why it is that we do whisk away our kids. is it more because we're more embarrassed by their behavior, more about us? >> yes, it is. we get so focused on the need to be proper and to have proper etiquette and to be kind, but we forget the reality of the situation, and we want to learn how to build tolerance, ultimately that's what we're talking about here, how are we more tolerant of one another and the differences we see and how do we make that happen? we have to model that for our kids and whisking them away might encourage fear rather than encourage curiosity. >> meghan, you're not encouraging kids to gawk or point or speak out loud but you said the important word here, it's about engaging with that person and having that
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connection, so how do you do that? how do you have -- your child is afraid to do it, how do you as a parent go up to that person and teach them what to do? >> i'm not encouraging it but at the end of the day it's inevitable, so we have to anticipate it, and i think sometimes, look, even if your child is not willing to engage, because they may not be, sometimes what will happen is a parent will whisk their kids away and not look at you. even though a little smile, even a smile from a parent that acknowledges you to say you know what? that's a kid. you know that's just a curious kid, that is perfect. >> you write about a great story where your son, charlie, saw a woman at the mall who had burned her face and he did one of those classic things where he stared and started to point. >> yep. >> and you took him over to the woman and complimented her on her dress, you engaged her in conversation and they had a great exchange as a result. tell me about that. >> well, absolutely. two fingers aside, i'm all about
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fashion. so i saw a woman with a great outfit, i'm going to find out where she got it and that's what it came down there, and so by charlie seeing that i would do that even with a woman that looked very different than anything he or i had ever seen, i think that made him comfortable and that's what made him ask, you know, speak to her. >> comfortable in his own uni e uniquene uniqueness. jennifer you say it's important to make sure that person is open to that kind of connection. >> right, i think you have to read the cues not only of your child. if they're got comfortable, you don't want to force they will. the other person might not be comfortable with you coming over. feel it out. the mother in the empire state building could have caught your eye, nodded and walked away and that would have felt okay with everybody, an acknowledgment of some sort. if you didn't make eye contact because you were uncomfortable and your confidence is admirable, we want to read that, so that everybody is
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comfortable, some people don't want to draw attention to it. we have to pay attention to that. >> it's a great, great message for parents everywhere and kids as well. thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with us. >> thank you. >> all right, meg zucker and jennifer hartstein thank you. ask questions head to our website today.com. she'll be here to answer them hopefully. first this is "today" on nbc. [ male announcer ] get ready for some deli-style delic-ious-ity: the subway big hot pastrami melt. take a moment to ponder tender cuts of pastrami, piled sky high atop your favorite freshly baked bread with spicy mustard, pickles and melt-a-licious cheese. okay, enough imagining how this fresh toasted number would tantalize your taste buds -- it's time to actually experience the subway big hot pastrami melt, built by the sandwich experts the way you love -- to per-fec-tion. subway. eat fresh. it just got more frustrating and frustrating.
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