d you to wear a hat. why can't you listen to me? all right, enough! i'm fine! you're fine? you look like the top of a police car! put some cream on that! no! you put some cream on that head right now! you're gonna be in pain later! i been in pain since the wedding! he refuses to accept the fact that he has no hair! oh! what? what's the matter, dear? oh, eh, eh. oh, i know what it is. it's debra. ma, please. you know what you and i need? a nice long walk. that would be so wonderful, wouldn't it? hey, ma... do you know if we have any mob connections here in town? because i might need a little help. what's the matter, dear? you look so terrible.

i'm fine, ma. it's just that stefania's father wasn't too thrilled to, uh, find me with his daughter. what?! now, he's havin' a vacation. i went out the window when pops went to get a shovel. congratulations. stefania fogagnolo. oh, thanks, there, giorgio. signore fogagnolo -- he will kill you. you better stay away from that girl, robbie! yeah, right. nothin' like this has ever happened to me before. hey, ray, you want to go get a gelato? i'm not goin' there with that father. come on. no, get out of here. he'll use me to beat you to death. come on, look -- hey, maybe he'll chase us with the shovel. come on. fratello mio, e' cosi' buono -- get off me, you nut! hey, hey, hey! you got to wake up, here, little bro! look where you are, man! you're missin' it! ♪ la donna mobile, qual piu ma vento ♪

i-i've never seen him like this -- so happy. i don't like it. hi, daddy! hi, daddy! hi, daddy! hey, what did you do, feed the ducks or somethin'? you want to feed them with us tomorrow? yeah, maybe. i don't know. we'll see. yeah, yeah, daddy's very busy, you guys. he really doesn't have time for fun this trip. he has a lot of moping to do, which is quite time consuming. all right, give me a break, please. why don't you give me a break, huh?! i thought that this could be a time for all of us to be together! all right, listen, i can't do this right now, because i promised my mother we'd take a walk. t-that's true, dear. have a nice time. i'm so glad we could do this, raymond. you really seem to need it. need what? this -- just the two of us walking and talking. you know, we never get a chance to talk. we don't?

no, not like this. we rarely get a chance to just talk -- no interruptions, distractions, deb-- anyway...first of all, i'm feeling a little bit upset about something. that water is kind of nice, huh? it's beautiful. i'm feeling that everyone else seems to think that they have the right to do just exactly what they want on this trip. and they don't? well, they do. of course they do. but they could at least consult with me first... i know, i know -- he's your father. between you and me, i can't take it anymore. you seem to be havin' a good time. what, this morning? that's finished. i had the nerve to tell him to wear a hat... i begged him 50 times -- "please, please, get someone to fix the garage door." you know what he says? "i could do it myself." and, of course, you know what happens. he doesn't do it. ha! it's been three months! anybody could get into that garage if they wanted. oh, please.

what are you stoppin' for? nothin' -- no, i just never seen them like this before, huh? pretty. you see the way they wrap them? you look at these? i've seen flowers. my point is -- i can't talk to him... ooh! there's a butcher shop. i got to run in there and get some meat for the barbecue. you want to come in with me? no, go ahead. all right, i'll be right back. and don't forget what we were talking about. okay. [ boys speaking italian ] here, you guys.

[ sighs ] you want it with the foot? okay, there. oh. what, i'm in it? here, there you go. you want to -- want to play a little game, huh? [ laughs ] i'll pass it. there you go. you guys are good at this. i don't play this. yeah. italian woman: alessandro! luca! ciao. okay. ciao. ciao. hey, ciao. yeah. hey. pizza. okay, give me one. can i get one? here.

thank you. wow. it's okay? yeah, yeah. i had a cold, but it's -- it's gone now. this is awesome. hmm? "awesome" -- you know "awesome"? uh, magnífico. oh, grazie. prego. oh, this is, like, the best pizza i ever had, man! you like more? hell, yes, i want more! you made this? i make, yes. so you're, like, a genius, then. oh, all done. oh, i've got some chops for later. what -- you're having pizza now? yeah, uh-huh. will you be able to eat your lunch? yeah, sure. you want a bite? no, no, no. oh, good. come on. all right.

come on. l-let's go up this way. [ laughs ] i forgot what i was saying. how you can't talk to anyone but me. oh, yes, right. because, i mean, nobody values communicating anymore. to me, that's the most important thing. don't you agree with me? mmm-hmm. absolutely. oh, raymond, this is so nice. did i tell you the other thing your father did? no, go ahead. well, i had forbid him to use my cutting board... ♪ ♪ ♪

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'cause that cinnamon and sugar hello, dear.esistible. hey, marie. have you seen raymond? where is he? don't know and don't care. he's been a drip this entire vacation. i've decided i'm not gonna let him ruin it for me. i had a lovely walk with him this morning. it's so nice that you two have each other. ugh! stupid, stinkin' hump!

ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha! you like that? i got a million of them. unbelievable. unbelievable. signore fogagnolo. come va? you don't see my daughter no more. oh. [ clears throat ] you know, sir, if i may -- here -- here, look -- let's sit down, huh? please. please. can we -- can we sit down? per favóre, huh? let's sit. grazie. mílle grazie, huh? [ clears throat ] signore fogagnolo...

frank: ah, your mother's ass! i don't like you. [ bell dings ] ciao, tútti! hi, daddy. hi, daddy. hi, daddy. ciao! hello, everybody! beautiful day, huh? oh! look what i have. signóra, bellisima. for you. you can have those. here, you can have one of those.

beautiful. see how they wrap them? and what is this? mom... and aunt coletta! these are for you. [ laughing ] what are you doing? you look good. come here. i want to talk to you. what? come here, come here. listen... um, i know you wanted to talk to me before, and i know what you were gonna say. no, you don't. whatever you were gonna say, you were right. and i'm not just sayin' that so we don't have to talk about it anymore like at home. it's just -- there's somethin' about this place. do you get that? there's, like, a feeling here. i-i don't know how to describe it, but it's more...simple. the way the whole place shuts down in the middle of the day so the people can just, you know, enjoy the day? it's like they know how to live here, don't you think? don't you think it's kind of beautiful here? yes?

okay, so we agree. and the history -- i was thinkin' -- thousands of years here. we got no history at home. everything was built last week. where have you been? oh, i had a bike ride. no, i -- not today. i mean this whole trip. okay, so, what do you want me to say? your hair does look nice, though. so, now you're being romantic? look, i don't know what i'm bein', but we got a couple of days left. you want to enjoy it, or you want to mope around?

okay, i think that's everything. raymond: [ laughing ] oh, god. look at this. [ laughing ] what are you rebellin' against? what have you got? yeah, you see? they rode one. that was fun. yeah, i got to get one of these. all right, fun's over, here. time to go home. thanks for everything, there, giorgio.

colletta... bène, bne. bène. ah. bella. bye-bye. listen, anytime you want to come to america and give me a shower, it's fine with me. giorgio, i'll see you, okay? no, nothin', it's -- ah, it's just --

debra: hey, where's robert? oh, robérto. oh, boy, stefania. must you be leaving so soon? yes. yes, i must. i will miss you. me too. maybe you can come and visit me in america sometime. bring your father along for laughs. here, for you. you don't have to pay me. you throw a coin in the water.

it means some day you return to làgo di bracciano. you would like that? would i like that? aspetta, aspetta. cosí. sí, cosí. bràvo. [ laughing ] my credit cards... and traveler's checks. [ laughing ] roberto. [ sighs ] okay. all right, everybody, i'm sorry. mi dispiace. aunt colletta, mílle grazie, huh? ciao, ciao. thank you. hey, did you say goodbye to gelato lollobrigida? all right, dad.

grazie! colletta: sí, sí. [ sighs ] ♪ che la luna mezzo mare mama mia me maritari ♪ all: ♪ figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu ♪ ♪ o mamma, piscia fritta baccala ♪ ♪ o mamma, piscia fritta baccala ♪ ♪ che la luna mezzo mare mamma mia me maritari ♪

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raymond: ♪ figghia mia, a cu te dari mamamma mia pensaci tu ♪ ♪ o mamma -- ♪ flight attendant: sir, could you please keep it down? some of the other passengers are starting to complain. oh. oh, sorry. ♪ cella luna mezzo mare mamma mia me maritari ♪ ♪ figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu ♪ captioning made possible by talk productions closed captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource

ray: are you out of your mind? you got amy on hold, you got stefania in italy, and now you're dating joanne again? no dating, okay? just talking on the phone, you know? like friends. friends. the woman threw an ashtray at your head. it's called passion, raymond... but who knows? there might still be some sparks there. then someone should throw a fire extinguisher at your head. joanne has changed a lot, okay? she's not like she used to be.

three women. i don't know what i'm going to do. you're going to do a dance, you gigantic lucky bastard. i know, i know. i can't believe it. i never thought i'd have three women in my whole life. hey, we all lost money on that bet.

you know how ylook,n tell which onit's all right --oad? shut up. it's simple. which lady is going to take care of you, cook for you, let you have the good pillow? dad, you're 100. shouldn't you have more than one good pillow? it's the whole package. which one is going to laugh at your jokes? oh, they all do, except stefania doesn't speak english very well, so i have to do a lot of hand gestures,

funny noises, you know? which one doesn't freak out when they see this coming at them? ha ha, raymond. who's got hips wide enough to bear your enormous children? well, that would be amy, but don't tell her. you know, with amy -- you're the only one she's ever had sex with, so, technically, you can't disappoint her. true. add it up. amy is your winner. well, we did used to talk about having kids, and she's always stuck by me, and, well, we do make each other happy. it's as if we're... meant to be, isn't it? yeah, maybe. what do i know? all right, amy. that's it. yes, it's amy, and you know what?

we're going to start fresh with a clean slate. i'm going to tell her about joanne and stefania. what?! i don't want to have any secrets. what are you, nuts? you never tell a woman anything. even if they figure it out, you deny. but amy would want me to be honest. yeah, that's how they get you. you think that's what they want, and then you cannot believe the yelling. yeah, is that what you want -- 42 years of "for god's sakes, close your robe"? [ imitating robert ] hey... that's what i'll do. i'll -- i'll tell my girlfriend about my other girlfriends. [ imitating robert ] hey, yeah, that's a good idea. honesty is the best policy. hey, hey, hey, look, look, look,

you got three women after you, huh? let me -- let me check over here. you got three women after you, huh, huh? then who does? oh, wait a minute. i believe that's me. i'll figure it out, gentlemen. and now... adieu. the pizza was to your liking? mmm. it was perfect. no, you're perfect. ow! oh, robert, are you all right? here. yeah, thanks, thanks. i'm fine. who's burning fur? listen, amy, i think we're good together. don't you? yes.

i mean, we make a good couple, right? [ nervously ] yes. that's why i'd like to talk to you about us being together. i'm listening. i think that you and i are "meant to be"... and that's why it's important for me to tell you about joanne. joanne? yeah, well, we've spoken, and i think she wants to get back together, and, honestly, for a while, i wasn't sure what i wanted, but i've decided that you're the one i want to be with. you've been talking to joanne about getting back together? well, you know, we've been talking, and -- and i've been thinking -- you've been talking to joanne about getting back together. for how long... sweetie?

i don't know. before italy, but, see, that's why i'm telling you because i want to be totally honest because i feel that we are meant to be. meant to be. don't you? let me see. you've been talking with your ex-wife for over a month behind my back, and then -- well, yeah, but, see, y-you're not focusing on the positive part of the story. oh, but i am, robert. i'm happy. i mean, this is all such wonderful news. you've been deceitful, and you're settling for me, but, hey, before i get really, really, really happy, is there anything else you want to share with me? no.

well, good, because i don't think i could get much happier. well, but i just -- and thank you for another fabulous evening. tonight, i'm taking the leftovers. i'll be in the office tomorrow if anybody wants to send me flowers. perhaps we should... cancel the spumoni. [ soft groan ] how's the meatloaf? it's good. it's very good. your brother-in-law -- your brother -- he's a child. do men ever stop being stupid?