ok, i'm fine! it just blew my cap off. i'm ok. you know, it really is disrespectful to the other chipmunks. you're preaching to the choir, dad. ok, i can fix this. i just need the screwdriver in the glove compartment. not in here. what? oh, i can't believe this. i--i know it's here, because i keep it in here. ok, it's not here. told you. where could it be? did you lose it, arthur? pardon me, i did not lose your precious screwdriver. it's on my bed. i needed it to pry open some paint cans. what were you painting? nothing. i found the cans in the basement, and i wanted to see the difference between navajo white and eggshell white. unbelievable!

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and make a meal of us. infected ticks can even spread lyme disease. so let's put our paws down in protest! till we all get veterinarian recommended k9 advantix ii! join us at k9advantix.com! till we alyou ok, hon?narian recommendeyou need help?ii! i dragged it for 2 miles. i can make it the last 8 feet. easy, hon. oh, god! ohh. all right, wh-where do you want it? um, let me think. all right, not there because of the things. hello! sap! ok, all right, all right, right here! oh, god! ok. ok, what a great day, huh? we got our christmas tree, and we swept up the long island expressway. well, at least this year we won't get that sad feeling when we toss it out on the curb. [telephone rings] hello? sorry again, douglas, about that screwdriver misunderstanding.

here you go. thanks. the next time you want to sniff paint fumes, use your own screwdriver, ok? oh, i see we're having sarcasm for christmas this year, hmm? ok, thank you. 400 bucks just to get the car running. and then he said we still need to keep an eye on the transmission. keep an eye on it? what the hell does that mean? i don't know. i guess we take turns sleeping in the garage. i really wish we could afford a new one. you know what, why don't we just do it? let's just do it. you wanna? doug, you know we can't now. why not? because we agreed we're gonna wait until we pay off the credit cards. oh, please! we're never gonna do that. come on, new car, me and you, huh? and we'll go cruisin', we'll pick up chicks, come back here, and the three of you can make me dinner.

all right, well, i guess it wouldn't hurt just to look at some new cars. oh, you are a keeper. so you're really ready to get rid of your old heap, huh? yeah, it's had a good run. hell, i've had it since i was a young stallion of 22. yeah, you remember the first time you tried to feel me up was in that car. yeah, and you bent these 2 fingers all the way back. this car is unbelievable! 6 cylinders, rack and pinion. and these seats, they actually heat up. i can't begin to tell you how warm my ass feels right now. maybe you could write a poem. [honk honk] you know what? stop that. you're starting to act like a game show contestant. now, come on. let's find a car we can actually pay for. i want this one. did you see the sticker price? sticker price. you know what i like to call the sticker price? the sucker price.

well, that is clever. come on, we really cannot afford this. look, i know how to negotiate the price down. now, this guy's gonna be coming over here pretty soon, so let's do the old good cop-bad cop routine. ok. which one am i? um, bad cop. ok. no, no, bad cop's more fun. i wanna be bad cop. although you look more like a bad cop. ok, how about you play all the police, and i'll play the person across the street getting a manicure? all right, here he comes. just--just work with me, all right? come on. so, you folks still looking or, uh... no, no, no, we're, uh, we're done. good. well, good. think this is the one for you? mmm, don't know, don't know. honey, what'd you, uh, what'd you think of this car? i would like to take a sledgehammer to this piece of crap. all right. what'd you say that for? i thought i was bad cop. bad cop, yeah, not gestapo. oh, stop. ahem.

excuse me. yes, sir? yeah, we, uh, actually might be, uh, willing to consider buying this car. but first, i think we're gonna need to see a little flexibility on your end, you know what i mean? yeah. i'm, uh, sorry, but we can't go below sticker. this is a really hot car right now. right, hot car. right, absolutely. lot of heat. ok, tell you what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna jot down a little figure for your hot little car. i want you to run this back to your boss, and we'll take it from there, ok? yeah. ok. my, uh--ahem-- manager is gonna think this is a joke. why don't you just go show him how funny we are, hmm? ok. welcome to the dance. see, now, he goes back there, he has a cigarette, he comes back with another number, we scoff, we say good-bye, and you watch how fast he chases us. sorry, no go.

we can take about $100 off the undercoating, but that's the best we can do. oh, ok. well, if that's the best you can do, then i guess we're gonna have to just say ta-ta. ha ha. thanks for coming in. start walking. let's go! hey, baby. what are you in the mood for? yeah, i could do chinese. hey, you, uh, take care now. hey, you, too, and merry christmas. ha ha ha ha ha. so which place you thinking of? nah, that's--that's-- that's too spicy. i don't like that place. yeah. yeah, well, let's--let's try and make it around, uh... come on, let's just go back and buy the car. doug, when we finally have kids, wouldn't it be nice to have more than 30 bucks tucked away?

i don't know. i don't want to spoil 'em. come on, carrie, i want new-car smell. our car has burger king smell. doug, let's just put the new car thing aside for now, slap some more duct tape on the old one, and really commit ourselves to winning the lottery. ok? ok? ok. ok. oh. arthur, didn't i ask you not to put the peanut butter in the refrigerator? you may have. why? because then it gets hard and i can't spread it without tearing the bread. so just let it sit for a half an hour and soften up. i want the sandwich now. then toast the bread. that way it won't tear. don't want it toasted, don't want it in a half an hour. what i want is an untoasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich now.

well, douglas, that might not be possible. as it is, i've given you a number of very attractive alternatives. no, they're not attractive, ok, arthur? you know what? i may not be able to afford a decent car, but i do have a house, and i let you live in it, so please show some respect. oh! oh, peanut butter. oh, good, peanut butter, yes. [mouth full] my peanut butter! this is my house! you gonna let him talk that way to me? well, i'm not quite sure what he said at the end there, but as far as the other stuff is concerned, dad, he's not really wrong.

hey, sleepyhead. aah! ohh! merry christmas! come on downstairs. i got something for you. dad, isn't christmas tomorrow? i couldn't wait. come on down. come on! come on, come on. keep those eyes closed. keep 'em closed. ohh! watch for that. ok, 1, 2, 3! merry christmas! huh? [ sound fades ] at a moment like this, i'm glad i use tampax pearl. [ female announcer ] tampax pearl protects better. only tampax has a leakguard braid to help stop leaks before they happen. tampax pearl protects better.

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so what do you change your kids think, huh? well, it's, uh, it's cozy. ha ha ha ha.

where did it come from, arthur? did you...build it? ha ha ha ha. no, no! what we have here is a douchenberger, made in luxembourg. most popular car on the road over there. it's nice, dad, but you really, really... shouldn't have. no, no. you kids deserve this. no, we don't. sure, you do. you're gonna be the envy of the neighborhood. see, check out all the looks we're getting. [truck horn honks] aah! oh, my god! go faster! i'm already going as fast as i can! i got it floored! then shift! [honk honk] i'm shifting! i'm in third! that's all there is! [beep beep] road hog! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! feel better? a little bit. crying really helped.

this thing's unbelievable, huh? i know. it felt like we were navigating through high-speed traffic in a soda can. what was he thinking giving us a car? well, honey, it's pretty obvious he did it because of you. me? yeah. i mean, the way you yelled at him the other day. you made him feel so bad. and he knew we needed a new car, so voilä! our '99 douchen...thing. excuse me, but this wouldn't have happened if you would have let us get the other car, but no! we gotta save money for our children. well, just look what you've given birth to. all right, just relax now. you're just a little upset because you almost died. but maybe we just need time to get used to this thing. i mean, it is kinda cute in its own little way. oh, god, we are so screwed. hey, what's goin' on? what the hell is this?

it's our new car. no, seriously, what is it? it's a car! maybe if you'd spent some time in luxembourg, you wouldn't ask such stupid questions. where do the clowns come out? 'cause in-- you know, in the circus, all the clowns cram into one little-- yeah, we get it, rich. not your best bit, ok? rich, we're just not in a laughing mood, all right? we almost got crushed by a large truck and a medium-sized dog. what are we gonna do? i mean, either we're stuck with this ridiculous-looking thing, or we have to break my father's heart. or you could just dump it. what do you mean? i mean, there's a spot under the belt parkway where people "park" their cars if they want to be "relieved" of them. you know what i'm "saying"? you didn't need the last set of finger quotes, but, yeah, i get you. honey, you-- you wanna do it? doug, we are not dumping the car.

why not? we'll collect the insurance money, we'll give it to your dad, and then he never has to know we didn't like it. no, we're not doing it. then what do we do? i don't know. carrie, i can't go to work in this. i'm a teamster, for god sakes! ok, we will just talk to my father and say "thank you very much, but the car is just not for us." chipmunks: ♪ christmas, christmastime is near ♪ ♪ time for toys and time for cheer ♪ ♪ we've been good... oh, the kids. doug, i got your song playing. great. thanks. i put it on a loop. it'll just play and play and play till someone turns it off. [song stops] dad, you got a sec? sure, sure. let's all sit, relax. look, i baked christmas cookies. hey, dougie, those should hit you in about an hour.

so, kids, what's on your mind? well, dad, it's about the car. ah, the look on your faces when i gave it to you, it was worth every penny from my ira account. you cashed in your ira? i'm just glad i could pull together enough to make your dreams come true. dad, i am so stunned. that is so generous. no, that's not generous. generous is opening your home to a cranky old man who sometimes forgets to show the proper respect and gratitude. that's generous. god bless you kids! well,

this looks like the place. i can't believe we're actually doing this. come on, come on, come on, keep it together, babe, all right? all right, let's go. whoa, whoa, wait. let me get out first. otherwise we'll tip over. oh, my god, look at this place. i don't know, it's got a lot of atmosphere. hey, babe, you want to rumble? [sighs] i'm not sure if i want to do this. hey, whoa, whoa, we agreed. it's our only way out. i know, but it's immoral. it's not immoral. doug, we're inviting criminals to steal the car my father bought with his retirement money as a show of love and respect for us. on christmas eve. that's not immoral? i'm not saying we're gonna get a lot of karma points. it's not immoral. where the hell is richie with the getaway car?

i can't do this to my father again. what are you talking about, again? when i was 6, he bought me this doll for christmas, and i hated it. that happens. i buried it in the backyard. and then, like, a month later, our dog dug it up right in front of him. it had worms coming out of the eyes, fungus in its hair, and it kept saying... [imitating doll's voice] i love you. i love you. that happens. moose, sorry i'm late. i had to help a buddy ditch a boat. ha ha ha ha ha. come on, let's go. all right, come on, carrie. carrie! hey, what's going on? you want your car stolen or what? i do. we have to go now. doug, i can't do this. moose! forget it, rich. all right, whatever. [engine won't start]

aw, man! chipmunks: ♪ christmas, christmastime is near ♪ ♪ time for toys and time for cheer ♪ you know, this song is really growing on me. you? yeah. ooh! ooh, here comes the best part. listen, listen. alvin: ♪ me, i want a hula-hoop ♪ a hula-hoop he wants. and every time, too. ok, got the eggnog and mr. rummy. let's hit the christmas presents. speaking of which, still enjoying the douchenberger, douglas? oh, yeah. it's nice having a car i can take into the store with me.

here you go, daddy. this is from doug and me. oh, thank you, sweetheart. ooh, ooh! what could it be? it's so exciting. what's this? it's a watch. i have a watch. i know, but this is engraved. look. "with all our love, doug and carrie." well... you did your best. [knock on door] hope you're happy. what? i just went back to get my car. it's stripped to the bone. and my insurance doesn't cover theft or vandalism. what the hell am i supposed to do? ♪ we can hardly stand the wait ♪ merry christmas. ♪ please, christmas, don't be late ♪

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captioning made possible by sony pictures television change your sports drink. you sure someone will take it? definitely. just leave it. all right. hard to believe anyone will want this thing, but here goes. go, go, go! captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org-- public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

so just go ahead and eat dinner without me, okay? yeah. love you, too. [ man on radio ] ...82 degrees by this afternoon. oh! hello? jimmy john's? [ tires screech, bell chimes ] you ordered jimmy john's? wow! that was fast. i would've been here sooner, but this traffic stinks. [ male announcer ] jimmy john's. order online at jimmyjohns.com. ♪

>> uh, what time your little fast tail get in this house last night? >> mr. brown, i was in here by 9:00. >> i'm not talking to you. i'm talking to cora. >> miss cora, do you have a curfew? >> no. >> yes. she need to be in here by the time them street lights come on or else i'm gonna tear her tail up. i done told you... >> mr. brown. >> get your behind in here by 9:15.

>> i am grown, mr. brown. >> see, i know how women work. i know how y'all do. >> well, how are we? >> yeah, how are we, mr. brown? >> okay, i tell you, you better stop working your neck before i snap it. now, first of all i know y'all copy each other. you get a miniskirt, she get a miniskirt. next thing you know, we'll have a houseful of pregnant women running around in miniskirts. >> that's ridiculous, mr. brown. >> just what i'm talking about. that's what i'm talking about. do that miniskirt come with a pregnancy test? i'm-a be your skirt. >> mr. brown. >> wear me, wear me! everywhere you go, i'm going. >> mr. brown! >> get back. >> mr. brown! >> hey, everybody. >> hey, y'all. >> mr. brown. >> yeah, you can't go nowhere. >> oh, well, what did the doctor say? >> that everything is great. >> well, good. >> i'm just a little tired from the amniocentesis. >> amnio-who-sistis? >> amniocentesis. it's an exam that, you know, helps you figure out if the baby's healthy or not. >> mm-hmm. it also tells you the sex.

>> well, we already know y'all been having sex, so stop being nasty. >> no, mr. brown, that means to tell you what the baby is, a girl or a boy. >> you don't need no animal scientist to tell you what the baby is. look, grandma brown could tell what a baby is by just touching a woman's hair. >> what? >> yeah. let me show you. i can tell you all what it is. mark my word, i know. come here. >> huh? >> step on out. come right there. now put your hands up. hmm...hmm... uh! yes. you gonna have a weave. a number 3, silky straight. it's with a yaki blend on it. >> she's having a girl. that's why i got her this. >> oh! >> brianna, you were supposed to wait until the baby shower. >> i know. i just couldn't wait anymore. >> that ain't nothing. >> i just couldn't wait. >> y'all think that's something. >> oh, brianna, that's so cute, my baby. she's gonna love wearing it. you're so sweet. >> yeah, you know, that's cute,

but my son won't be wearing this. he's gonna be an athlete. he's gonna be wearing this. ha ha! >> oh, baby, that's adorable, but, guys, look. i really don't care if it's a girl or a boy as long as it's healthy. >> it's gonna be a girl. >> yeah, it'll be a girl. >> it doesn't matter. >> i know, but it's a girl. i already know. >> hey, listen up! hey, hush all that up. now, what sasha said is true. it don't matter if it's a boy or girl. what really matters is, is that it's going to be a brown. sfx: doorbell i'm here to snake the drain. i'm here to flush the pipe. vo: liquid plumr double impact has a long snake that reaches deep in the pipe to grab the toughest clogs, and a powerful gel to finish off the rest. baby. liquid plumr double impact.

♪ [ female announcer ] with mccafé, any moment can be a moment of delicious wonder. ♪ the latest -- new mccafé blueberry pomegranate smoothie. sweet blueberries, raspberries, and a splash of pomegranate juice. it's the newest addition to all the unique tastes of mccafé. the blueberry pomegranate smoothie. there's always something new to love from mccafé. [ hammering ] >> what -- wait, wait! what are you doing? >> oh. huh. just trying to secure the baby gate. >> secure the baby gate? what -- now, that's not secured. >> well, you're stronger than

the baby. >> will, you know the baby's not due for months. >> yes. this is silly. we need to be thinking about baby names like bethesda. >> that's a horrible name for the braves' starting pitcher. >> hey, everybody. >> oh, oh, oh. sweetie, sweetie, let me handle that, all right. you shouldn't be handling stuff like this. let me give you a hand. >> uh-huh. that's how we got in this predicament in the first place. >> t-m-i. i'm not gonna be able to eat for weeks. thank you. kettle corn! ha ha! >> what's wrong with the cabinets? >> oh, uh, ha ha. i childproofed it. >> baby, i got news for you. if they can reach it, they can open it. >> oh... >> yeah. >> guess he'd be, like, 12. >> mm-hmm. >> and this thing is stuck. >> i'll get it. >> i'll get it for you. >> i, uh, put childproof caps on

'em. >> huh? >> will, are you serious? >> yeah. i was thinking. baby, i'm thinking ahead. >> here, you open it. >> oh, i got it. that's easy. all right, all right, see, on the top, all you do is push... >> push. >> squeeze... >> squeeze... >> and twist. >> twist. >> all right? all right, pull... pow. boom, bing, pow. um... >> never mind. >> you... >> see you later. >> don't worry about it. >> twist. hold on, hold on. you twist, push, and then... hey, at least the house is safe. >> joaquin, which way is the sun coming from? >> is someone burning chicken? >> no. i don't smell nothing. >> hey, i thought you were supposed to be helping me, burnty mac.