i don't know. check out the pictures. i don't see any guys. there's no guys. hey. maybe she likes women. nah. if she was like that, she'd be putting this thing together herself. ask her t, big nose. no. what, her? go out with me? no, no, no. yeah? stranger things have happened. i can't think ofny. nah. i live with my parents. fine. then i'll ask her out. no. no. you can't. why not? 'cause. you're the futon guy. you're the assistant futon guy. i'm asking her out. no. i'll do it. she laughed at my joke, man. i'gonndo it. so. i'll get the clipboard thing, and then i can write that thing down.

[laughing] what? nothing. my friend is all nerus 'cause he likes you or something. he wants to ask you out. oh. really? what. you got a boyfriend? no. it's just that... let me ask you something. if we weren't here, you think you could put this thing together yourself? i got it. got the forms. ok. all right. gianni, you almost done now? let me help you. no, , no. i got it. you do what you gotta do. ok. ok. hey, music. you like music? uh, yeah. yeah, me, too. music is good. it's a nice apartment you got here. oh, thanks. it's a nice neighborhood. a lot of nice places to eat around here. yeah, i know. you know what's good, that chinese place with the crazy grandmother who screams at you. oh, yeah. china star. i love that place.

yeah. yeah. you know what she's screaming? yeah. "habba nye dah!" she's crazy. she's saying, "have a nice day." oh. oh. maybe she's not crazy then. i love that place. yeah. me, too. so... you almost done, gianni, or what? are you? so maybe i'll see you there sometime. where? china star. oh, well, yeah. if you're in there, and i'm in there, then, yeah. you gotta sign, um... sign on the bottom. i'll probably be there for lunch tomorrow. you talking about it made me really hungry for it. yeah? yeah.

actually, i just had chinese today. oh, my god. but sometimes, when i go back 2 days in a row, i just--i order something different. like shrimp. so if i was to go back there and order the shrimp, would you wanna... go with me? yeah. sure. yeah? oh, great. great. i told you i was gonna be a writer, right? yeah. yeah. yeah. what a way with words. gianni: let's go. all right, so then, what, like, 1:00 tomorrow? yeah. that'd be great. ok. good. all right. good. great. so, then tomorrow. 1:00. right? oh. i'm ray. i'm debra. hi. nice to meet you.

so, tomorrow then. yeah, great. all right. good great. habba nye dah! am i the man, or what? oh, yeah, you're the man. you should have your genitals revoked. [as mummad ali] oh, i'm so pretty. i'm so pretty. i'm so pretty. hey, beautiful. you forgot to give her the futon cover. oh. oh, yeah. debra: coming. ray: what? coming. aah! oh! what do you want? what are you doing? you said, "come in." i said, "coming." it sounded like "come in." what's up? what are you doing?

i didn't want him to see. would you excuse me, please? ok. i'm sorry. look, i didn't see anything. yes, you did. i know. i'm sorry. try our new bacon avocado chicken sandwich or the southwestern blt. both served on buttered toasted pretzel rolls with a side of fries. enjoy a new pretzel roll sandwich today. chili's. more life happens here. waiting for your wrinkle cream to work? clinically proven neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair. it targets fine lines and wrinkles with the fastest retinol formula available. you'll see younger looking skin in just one week. one week? that's just my speed. rapid wrinkle repair. and for dark spots rapid tone repair. from neutrogena®.

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robert: totally naked? yup. totally naked? a beautiful woman, totally naked,

facing you. yes. another gift for raymond. i burst into places all the time. i raid massage parlors. you know who i get to see naked? fat guys. fat, hairy, bald guys. you get to go out with a naked girl. oh, i'm not going out with her. are you kidding? she thinks i'm a pervert. and she's the one running around naked. in her own apartment. i didn't turn away fast enough. well, how fast did you turn? i don't know. like this. where's the turn? oh, my god. i didn't turn. i didn't even turn. see? forget it. there's no way i could ever go out with her. yes, you can. no. the whole time,

she'll know that all i'm thinking about is her breasts. well, don't think about them. don't think about them. yeah. don't think about zebras. go. wow. yeah. see? what are you thinking about? a zebra with breasts. that's it. that's why. there's no way i can go out with her. listen, you have to. you've achieved more before the first date than i usually do by the end of a relationship. forget it. i already called. i canceled anyway. i left a message on her machine. seems like a terrible waste of a naked girl. robbie, your father's coming home soon. yeah? you're sitting in his chair. you know how upset he gets if he sees your imprint in his chair. [doorbell chimes]

he can kiss my imprint. it's just that he's working so hard. that's all. i can't wait till your father retires. he's gonna be so much more pleasant then. well, hello there. why, yes, it is. may i help you? yeah. i'm looking for ray barone. of course you are. come in. raymond! girl! there's a girl here for raymond? what's going on? oh. hi. who is this? hi. i'm debra whelan. ray delivered a futon to me.

oh. what? oh, noing. just...thinking about zebras. wouldn't you like to introduce us to your friend, raymond? uh, this is... my... marie and robert. my roommates. how, uh... what are you doing here? well, i went to the futon store, and your friend told me that i could find you here. is there someplace that we could talk? uh, yeah. i guess. if i knew you were going to have a visitor, i would've laid out a nicer pair of pants for you. so, uh, what? how come you canceled our lunch? well, i didn't think you-- is it because you saw me naked? admit it. you don't wanna go out with me because you saw me naked.

no. i mean, yes-- just so you know, i don't look like that. what? it was a bad angle, bad lighting. i hadn't showered yet. that's not how i look. you looked great-- not that i looked. then how come you canceled? because...i was in over my head anyway. i was thinking you'd think i'm just some futon guy, and then you throw pervert on top-- well, you should've let me be the one to cancel. that's the decent thing to do when you see someone naked. the naked person gets to cancel! i didn't know that. all right. forget it. oh, and by the way, there's something wrong with that stupid futon. the right leg is so loose. all right. look, you want me to fix it? well, somebody better, 'cause i got the warranty. ok. all right. i'll fix it tomorrow. i mean, i'm the futon guy. it was nice to meet you both. so, uh, what time tomorrow then? i get home from work about 6:00. that's no good.

raymond eats at 6:00. ma, do you mind? 6:00 is good. ok. good-bye, dear. lovely meeting you. yeah. bye-bye. she's not the girl for you, raymond. [doorbell rings] debra: who is it? it's, uh, ray from claude's futons. yeah, come in. i said, come in. ok. now it really sounds like you're saying, "come in." i did say come in. hi. hi. you're all dressed up. oh. yeah. the other time, those were my delivery clothes. this is what i wear when i fix stuff. all right. ok. stupid dressed-up moron.

what? so it's the right leg that's loose? yeah. it's the right one. i tell ya, nothing really seems to be loose here. oh. sure seemed loose to me. i can't even tighten these any more really. huh. i thought it was loose. no. you know, it looks like i made too much food here, if you're, um, hungry. oh. yeah? yeah. you want some? all right. yeah. wrap it up. i'll eat it in the truck. i mean, you could eat it here if you want. oh. ok.

you can sit. sit? sit here? yeah. that's good. you need me to help with anything? no. i got it. can i ask you something? yeah, sure. were you making all that food for someone, and they didn't show up? they showed up. here you go. so...the futon was never loose? look, i've been out with a lot of guys, like stockbrokers and athletes and rich, famous, good-looking guys-- so you're going the other way now.

no, no. i'm not going any way. you just seem like a nice guy. that's all. you are planning on being a journalist, right? oh, yeah. yeah. it's not as much fun as knocking people over with futons, but... actually, i'm gonna be a sportswriter. oh, really? yeah. you like sports? well, i do pr for the rangers. really? yeah. so you know, like, vanbiesbrook and larouche? yeah. all those guys. wow. so, your family seemed nice. yeah. yeah. they seem nice. i'm only living with them until, you know... ah. sure. yeah. yeah. yeah. wow. this is great. this is--what is this?

oh, it's lemon chicken. oh, man. wow. yeah? you really like it, huh? i could eat this the rest of my life. what? nobody's ever really liked my cooking before. well, they're nuts. are you kidding? this is great. can i have more? yeah, sure. no, let me get it. no. i got it. i can get it. hey, you want something to drink? yeah. yeah. well, let me get that. ok. the glasses are right there. ok. ice? yeah, great. i like the round cubes with the holes in them. those are my favorite kind of cubes.

oh! are you ok? yeah, i'm fine. you keep knocking me down. i know. i'm sorry. are you all right? yeah. you're a good kisser. all right. you're in shock. you're a good kisser. and add a packet of hidden valley original ranch. it becomes the first thing they reach for. ranch mashed potatoes. hidden valley it! music: lively orchesyes! score kids never get this excited about cleaning teeth. you want a greenies? but dogs do. watch them go wild for an irresistible trt that

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listen, i don't want you to think i'm like this, 'cause i'm not. me, neither. i mean, if this goes anywhere, it's gonna be at least 6 months before you see me naked again. it's ok. i just want some more of that chicken. [sigh] here's some more chicken. how is it? great. yeah? yeah. still great. and you're still a good kisser.

captioning made possible by lk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource

here you go, boys.me on!le by lk productions what's that? just some snacks.

oh, those are your calzones. you have homemade calzones. awww! stupid parent night! relax, raymond. i'll save you some. and then we'll dance around in fairy land. the cheese is burning the inside of your mouth, isn't it? i don't care.

♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit hungry ♪ ♪ and there's nothing good for me around ♪ ♪ turn around ♪ every now a then i get a little bit tired ♪ ♪ of craving something that i can't have ♪ ♪ turn around barbara ♪ i finally found the right snack ♪ ♪ try new fiber one cinnamon coffee cake. hey.

hey, can we go? no, wait. come here. i have such great dirt. come here. what? you know cheryl kaler? no. we'rat her house, ray. oh. so she's showing me around upstairs, right? and i say how great she looks. i didn't really think she looked that great, but she was wearing this tight pink outfit. so anyway, she says, "well, i had a little work done." and i said, "oh?" and she says, "yeah. what do you think?" and she goes like this. you're kidding. no! then she shuts the door and she lifts up her blouse! what? ohh! where the hell was i? so, so i was just like, i said, "wow!" and she says, "they are so natural. go ahead. touch." [gasps] she wants you. i mean, she was like acting all proud, you know? she tells me the whole story, how she drops the kids off at school, she has it done in the morning, she's home in the afternoon. it was unbelievable. yeah, unbelievable.

and you get...eatin, you get"come in, to" well, that's your fault. this is incredible.? we'd be home by 10:00.o'cause im no, no, wait, wait. come on! i--no. i'm aninvolved p. oh, hi..ay. hi. you must be cheryl. yes. yeah. have we met? no, no.no, we haven't, no. not until right now.yeah. yeah. it's a great party, though. yeah. the are good.

hey. hey, ray, you missed it.phenome. but at least i saved yo- aww. sorry. that's ok.i don't care. so how was your party, dear? well, it started out slow, but then it turned out to b. come on. tell 'emwhat you saw. nothing. tell 'em! had breast implants. oh, i don't like that. and at the party,she sh. what? what do you mean? wait a minute. she just showed you? both of them? shirt on or off? with the brassiere? what were you wearing? all valid questions. what is the matterw? come on.how old are? good grief. what's the bigfriggin' deal?

she touched 'em. debra: come on! that's right!that's rig! i expect this from frank, in such things.ve no reasont why not? because i never nursed them. what the hellare you ta? when they're babies,if you breas they're gonna grow up to beobse. that's why you didn'tbr? that andthe twou were almostthe . we were getting looks. oh, debra, dear,i'm curious. what were they like? uch! they were totally fake. well, well, go on.i mean, t. they were real.they do exis.

they'd make a sound.a fores, to make themselves bigger.ny marie did itthe nat. pound cake. a totally stupid procedure.a bos but fantasticwhen d. ohh! whoo-boy. i didn't thinkthat was gonna han after that lookyou gave me down.

well, a rule is a rule. you're going on the roa, you gotta getthe proper. young lady.per aboutwhat you ju, mmm... so, ray... do you?'t thinki ne, no. not if you thinkit's stupid. what's that supposedto ? what? nothing. really? hey, you know i like them. yeah. ok, ray, ok. come on! you know i lovebarnes & noble. come on! come on. that's fine, ray. just fine. i love them. don't worry about it. i always loved them. hey, i'll write 'em a poem. no, thank you. i think that i shallnever see...

ok, yeah.ray, f. by that.t mad.i didn't mean anyg i say a lot of stuff.you should. usually, you don't. i know.forget it, forge. it's stupid. forget it. night. all right, good night. try our new bacon avocado chicken sandwich or the southwestern blt. both served on buttered toasted pretzel rolls with a side of fries. enjoy a new pretzel roll sandwich today. chili's. more life happens here. waiting for your wrinkle cream to work?