score yes! kids never get this excited about cleaning teeth. you want a greenies? but dogs do. watch them go wild for an irresistible treat that fights tartar and freshens breath. greenies dental chews. ♪ ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's so groovy now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ - jim, get ready for - done. explain.ur life. - the new guys--dwight jr. is after my job. yeah, there is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub. - oh, now i get what pete was talking about at the sales meeting yesterday. - wait, sales-- what sales meeting?

- the new guys called one. - the new guys called a sales meeting? - clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration. did you know there was a belt above black? - there's no belt above black. is there a belt above black? - you should ask him. it's a color you would never expect. too easy. - [chuckles] - attention, everyone. comstock is still available. oscar has been flirting with adopting him, but still hasn't given me a definite yes or no. - definitely no. - fine. for any interested candidates, i will be conducting 20-minute interviews. my ideal situation would be an independently wealthy cute couple with a strong commitment to education. black or white-- i'm fine with either. but not both. listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, okay? - i wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year. it's going to be terrible. - not necessarily. - no, i'm going to make sure that it is.

and if it isn't, i will take immediate action to rectify that. now, i don't like to throw around the "b" word, but i'm gonna be a huge bitch to you. now, this is called slacklining. i set up the old slackline to teach the office the skills of focus and discipline. or in the case of certain individuals, the skills of humiliation and looking really dumb. if you make it all the way across, your confidence will soar. but if you toby out-- aah! aah! then you'll feel like a real nellie. how 'bout a hand? screw those guys. now, these are my actual outward bound counselors, rafe and feather. - iceman. - that's me. the powder is for your protection. feather has permanent athlete's foot. feather, show them how you dance upon the line of slack. - you, uh-- you a sports guy? - sure. uh, boxing, tennis. - oh.

any team sports? - nascar. the amazing race. - phillies fan, though, right? - you mean horses? - no, like ba--baseball. the baseball team. - i like the red sox. i'm from vermont, so... - okay. good talk. i have nothing in common with plop. - all right, who's next? nellie. - oh, i would rather watch you and your talented friends. - nonsense. get up here. - go ahead. - come on. - all right. - uh, you gonna wear your heels? - i'm very self-conscious about my feet. - okay. sure. there you go hey, all right. whoa! you suck. [chuckles] all right, who's next? darryl. - this seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do. - dwight jr., this looks like your speed. - uh, i guess i can give it a shot. - yeah, come on. get up here.

just hop on up. - okay. - focus on the horizon. whoa! look at this guy. [cheers and applause] - i've always been good at anything that required balance. my doctor says i have gigantic inner ears. [cheers and applause] - go, dwight jr. - yes! - boo! unimpressed. it's a tightrope for babies. boo. - all right, let's see you do it. - all right, let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord. - oh, ho ho ho! who ordered the hot apple fail? - okay, i am just getting started, okay? - you got this. this is all you. - oh! [laughter] oh... - got ourselves a yard sale.

- oh. - whoa. - balls and face. it's not a race, dwight. - aah! - oh! - well, it's official-- old dwight is lame, and new dwight is cool. - that's not true. [all gasp] just give me another chance. - but your mouth is-- - this is a bloodbath. all right, i'm calling this. - what? - it's enough of this. everyone, let's go back to work. - this is a stupid activity. i would be embarrassed to be good at it. get-- idiots!

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untie that rope,. give it to a couple of pigtailed school girls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. doesn't seem so macho now, does it? it's a jump rope! [cell phone chimes] [twang] - dwight! - pam? hey, i'm up here. up the ladder. come on. - why do you want this cat? - um, i don't want it, really. - how would you support the cat? what are your ambitions? - i want to start my own business. i want to be a millionaire. lots of things--travel. make the world a better place. earn an mba at night.

- have you taken any concrete steps? - well, i'm still just... fitting in here. you know, getting used to the new job. - mm-hmm. - but definitely on the agenda. but that is a good idea, angela. i should make a list. - oh, come on, pete. god, that's just sad. if he doesn't watch himself, he's gonna be here for years doing nothing. - do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? that means it is literally impossible for anyone to fall off. so you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as i pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole, - i will? - you will. yeah, we weigh about the same, wouldn't you say? - sure, if you weigh 105 pounds. - so you'll do it? - no. - come on! this will be the only thrill of your boring life. - dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but i love my boring life...

- come on. - exactly the way it is. - no, pam. - yes. and there's nothing you can say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it. - please? please, pam? - find someone else. i don't know, ask phyllis. - i can't use phyllis. are you kidding me? the moment she steps off this bar i'll be launched into space. - why are you getting rid of it? - allergies. - your husband? - no, the baby. please, it's my husband's favorite cat. he's broken up about it. it's the only time i've seen him cry other than our wedding night. - you know what? i will take comstock. - really? oh, oscar, thank you! - i'll come by after work and pick him up. - yay! oh, poor robert. he won't get to say good-bye. he has this business dinner tonight. - oh, c'est la vie. - please don't teach the cat french. - [chuckles] yeah, good news. tonight, when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy comstock.

- you ready? - yeah. you know what? i'll meet you down there. i've just gotta make a quick call. - okay. - okay. all right... oh, god. - [exhales]

- attention, employees of dunder mifflin. everyone thinks the new guys are so cool 'cause they can slackline. ooh! hey, clark, this is what a real salesman looks like. they say that you only live once, and i'm about to prove it. dwight schrute! - dwight! - hey, man, it's halpert. did you go to the other guy yet? great. don't. i'm in. [chuckles] yeah, yep, i'm all in. okay, talk to you soon. bye. yeah! - whoo-hoo! [screams] [all gasp, cry out] - call somebody. - hang on!

- hang on! hold on, dwight! - [screams] - in the parking lot today, there was a circus. the copier did tricks on the high wire. a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. there was a dwight impersonator and a jim impersonator. a strongman crushed a turtle. i laughed and i cried. not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company. introducing cardioviva: the first probiotic to help maintain healthy cholesterol levels without a prescription. cardioviva.

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- once again, i understand that old habits die hard, but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins, instead of tossing them, then we would-- - oh...swish. - oh, it's nothing to do with me. i just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are. [thud] - there are two things that i am passionate about-- recycling and revenge. [snickers]

mom swaps one of my snacks for a yoplait. i don't mind, i mean it's orange crème. and when mom said bobby was too edgy... 'sup girl. i just swapped him out for tyler. 'sup girl. mom never questioned bobby again. two can play at this game. [ female announcer ] swap one snack a week for a yoplait. and everybody wins. yoplait. it is so good.

[cheerful music] ♪ (michael) all right, everybody. this is your last meal. so eat up. [all cheering] from this point forward, you will not use the bathroom. we need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more. this summer, corporate is sponsoring a little weight loss contest between the branches. whichever branch loses the most weight gets three extra vacation days. what should we do with all these leftovers? i'm taking the dumplings for my wife. no, no, no! this is your last meal. there will be no leftovers. i can bring these to my shelter. i'm taking my dumplings. there. take those home to your wife.

[all coughing] dwight, dwight! michael, it's time! hit the scales, everybody. just get right on that black platform. this way. step it up. don't go breaking my scale. i'm excited to lose weight for the wedding because i really want to have ♪ washboard abs the first time angela sees me naked. heh! oop! ex-squeeze me. no, i will ex-squeeze you. okay, everybody, get used to this, because we are going to be standing here briefly every monday for the next seven mondays. wait a minute. one more bite of eclair each. hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow. really? nothing? 2,336 pounds. y'all need to learn some portion control. wait a minute. pam is on the scale. oh, pam-cake, no, no, no. we would love your extra poundage, but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose. okay. vamoose, pam.

dunder mifflin family only. (dwight) family only. all right, got it. 2,210 pounds. pam, you weigh 226 pounds? almost, kevin. not almost though, holly. i mean, not-- not close to 200. math is hard. yeah. just-- we'll just keep going. music: lively orchesyes! score kids never get this excited about cleaning teeth. you want a greenies? but dogs do. watch them go wild for an irresistible treat that fights tartar and freshens breath. greenies dental chews. ♪

♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's so groovy now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ (andy) i'm totally gonna slaughter at the weigh-in today. all i had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of diet coke. really? yeah. 'cause i haven't eaten anything since noon on friday. okay. stanley, come on. oh, i forgot something in my car. i'll see you guys up there. all right. (stanley) i happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. the truth is i have lost a little of my speed. a little of my fire. here's what i used to look like. look at those biceps. we were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.

[meditation music playing] and arch your back. and slowly bring up your head. jimbo. ah, they moved the shower. did you see holly's butt? nope, didn't. [chuckles] you know why? why? because most of the time friends don't talk about other friends' butts. uh...i know. but what have you learned about her? i learned that she broke her left leg twice in one year. i learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. i learned that she has read lonesome dove three times. nice. and that her butt refuses to quit! well, i tried. [laughing] you have to-- you have to agree with me. that's insane. i'll just go later. i thought you had to pee. hey, if you're into yoga, i take a great bikram class in dickson city.

oh, thanks, i should check that out. also, and no pressure, the teacher, he's a catch. actually, i'm a lesbian. i'm gay. i'm not a lesbian. i don't know why i said that. stupid joke. what's the joke? there is no joke. i just said it because i haven't had much luck lately, and i'm not really looking to date. so...maybe i should switch to women. oh, you think it's a choice? um, i'm gonna head back to my work area and just-- i'm messing with you, holly. [chuckling] i knew that. okay, bye. okay. so you have the directions? yeah. you have a toothbrush? yes. you have a cell phone charger? i have everything. (pam) tomorrow i start a three-month design program at the pratt institute in new york. i will be a little fish the big apple. what up, 212? fax this for me. come on, man. she goes to new york in, like, ten minutes.

it's not gonna take her ten minutes to fax it, jim. if i don't see you again, good-bye. well, actually i'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation, so never mind. ang...ela. ♪ ela ela ela ♪ under my angerela ♪ ela ela ela ♪ eh eh eh-- what? hey, check it out. this is the breakers. newport, rhode island. huge awesome gorgeous mansion overlooking the atlantic. and my dad went to cornell with the current groundskeeper. every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. no, no. this is where my parents decided not to get divorced. i don't care. okay. how do you feel about maine? [sighs] i'm on it. i'll see you later, love. [cell phone vibrating]

oh, we done good in there, half-pint. well, that was the last time, dwight. i mean it. monkey-- no, no. i have a fiance i very much like. hey, hey! [michael grunting] [michael grunting] pam! pam! hey! what happened? i wrote you a good-bye poem. it's really long. i left it... up in my office. could you just please wait till i go get it?

i should really get going. no! okay, okay. um, the last word is "seagulls." i'm sure it was really lovely. i took a lot from other poems. [engine starts] okay, call me when you get in. okay, bye. bye. all right, call-- no, michael. [exhales] [silent] (jim) why haven't i proposed yet? uh, actually, pam and i talked about it, and we just decided that, um, well, we didn't want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. and pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. something in her past, i guess. not really sure of the whole story, but something about a guy who used to work here. okay, no, no, no. no, no, no! same places as last week. it doesn't matter, michael. yes, it does. no, this is about weight displacement. we have to have the same weight distribution. right here. there we go. let's move that up. there we go. oh, fancy meeting you here. [chuckles] all right. (darryl) okay, everybody smile.

[camera beeps] [camera shutter clicks] ho! you lost 31 pounds. hey! yeah! all right! yes! (jim) i can't believe i'm saying this, but michael is actually killing it with holly. and i think i know why. it's because holly is kind of a major dork. [beatboxing] ♪ i'm mc mike scott, and i am hot ♪ ♪ she's dj jazzy flax, and she is the best ♪ ♪ all those sucker branches can suck our fat ♪ ♪ wikka wikka wikka wah

not now, buddy. yea, it's a mini-van. but it's got the sports package. dad! not now, buddy. okay! and surprisingly... (sniffs) it's not mine. no. um. for life's bleachable moments.

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now you can keep love fun this is ronnie. (jim) i don't really know ronnie. but i have a feeling i will get to know her very well over the next few years. and eventually declare my love for her. sorry i'm late. i accidentally switched my alarm clock setting to zapf chancery. [students chuckling] which is my terrible segue into our course, expressive typography in new media. [whispering] i'm in the wrong class. some of you may remember from last semester. i am professor monaghan and... looks like i'm boring someone already.

no, i just-- please sit down. [kelly coughing] you're shaking. are you all right? just leave me alone! i am on the third day of my cleanse diet. all i have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and water for all three meals. um, i just bought some bikinis online, size two. so... ♪ i look look amazing hi, can i help you? i need you to make me 100 copies of this on canary yellow. hey, jan. how's the candle game? hi. oh, great, yeah. serenity by jan is kicking ass... and taking names. [laughs] you remember last week when that girl went missing? guess whose candles they used for the vigil? [clicks tongue] cool. thank god they found her too.