you...you want me to go golfing tomorrow? i mean, you did kind of ruin their plans today. yeah, you should go golfing. i'll take the kids to the park. oh, you're the best. you're the best. [sing song] going golfing tomorrow. all right. i'm gonna go watch the news. that's the... same kiss from this morning. oh? no... why not? you-- yes! why not?! ah ah ah ah ah! well... oh, you really like me a lot this week. i'll be in the bedroom. ok. don't start without me. i won't. [giggling] ow. ohh. ah. ohh.

oh, yeah. yeah. ohh... hey, what's this thing here? what? this--this thing with the muscleman on it. oh, that's from my gym. that's my new aerobics instructor. nick bronson. does that guy teach, or does he just model? ha. no, no, he's really great. as a matter of fact, i took his class 3 times this week. 3 times? yeah. tuesday, thursday, and this morning. [sighs] ahem. so? oh. yeah, i don't know. actually...

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hey. hey. how long is the mirror in your apartment?

ma's sewing up my uniform. left pant leg got all shredded on a call. these damn people with raccoons as pets. never works out. so what's going on with you? ah, you know, nothing. listen, robert. yeah. do you ever... do you ever have a hamburger... and the whole time you're eating it, you're imagining that it's a steak? i have. yes, i have. who's this? that's the steak. what? i think this guy is the reason that i'm having more sex. before we go any further,

i'd like to put my pants on. listen... that's debra's aerobics instructor. she took his class 3 times last week. uh-huh? yeah. 3 times. 3 times she watched this guy muscle around and gyrate it up, ok? and guess what days. ohh... so... so all this time you're thinking it's you making her hot, turns out she's coming home preheated. yeah... [laughing] it's not funny, robert. no, it is a little funny. see, only you would think a rib injury would turn you into a... a love machine. ha ha ha ha! ♪ and it don't work for nobody but you ♪ rr-rr-rr-rr! all right, shut up. here. your pants are holdin' up my eggs.

frank, i still need to iron these. why don't you sew a diaper in there while you're at it, too? raymond, dear, you hungry? no. no, no. i'm just talking to robert. what are you, bragging? what? yeah, robert told me about you and happy hips over there. oh, great. that's just great, robert. it sounds like somebody's trying to earn some jewelry. [laughing] listen, it's none of my business, but i think maybe this might be debra's way of trying to...compensate. how so, ma? well, if you can't cook in the kitchen... ok. good-bye. you guys are way off. there. what are you-- holy crap! that's debra's aerobics instructor. she watches him flex all around,

and then she goes home all...inspired. why do you do that? why do you tell mom and dad things like that, huh? my personal things. why? why? why? why?! brings us closer. what are you so upset about? sounds like mr. muscle here is saving you some prep work. i don't like that, frank. and i have to say, raymond, i think that debra is playing a very dangerous game. oh, what are you talking about? who cares where she gets her appetite as long as she has her meal at home. stop. stop. marie: raymond, you have to get debra out of this class right now. why? this guy is helping out. maybe ray doesn't have what it takes to get debra's motor running. raymond's got plenty. ray: thank you! mom... uhh.

huh. hey, this is a good-looking guy. what? he's like a gladiator. come on, robert, you can't say this isn't a handsome man. ma, please, i really need my pants. hey. hey! what are you doing here? i thought you were going to pick me up at 2:00. yeah, i know, but i thought maybe we could go out and get something to eat. ok. great. but i'm going to be another 45 minutes. well-- hey, everybody. hey! hey! hey! who's ready to sweat? whoo! all right!

listen, i was thinking we could go to tuto benes, but i don't have reservations, so why don't we just go now? nah. no. hi. are you gonna take the class today? maybe. [laughing] no, you're not. well, there's an extra space in case you decide to stay. you're not taking class. maybe i will. why? would that ruin it for you? no. i mean, i don't care. you do what you want. ok, guys, what do you say we start with a quick warmup? [music plays] ok, v-steps, and...

5, 6, 7, 8... you gonna do 40 minutes of this? really? come on. ray, would you be quiet? why don't you just wait for me outside? i can't believe you'd pay money for this. you know, we got a flight of stairs at home. hey, just shh, shh! and grapevine! here we go! ow! sorry. sorry. you feelin' it? yeah! yeah! yeah! i can't hear ya! yeah! yeah! yeah! bring it on! what's with you? nothin'. i'm in the zone. hey! looking good, debra, looking good! ok, guys, knee lifts, ready, countdown, and... 5, 6, 7, 8... come on, man. what's the matter?

around the world! here we go! [music stops]

i'll be in the juice bar. mm. well... i guess i'm not aerobically gifted. [chuckles] that's ok. a lot of people break the boom box on their first time out. ha. that's funny. do you want to have sex? what? yeah. i mean, the kids aren't home, and, uh... the honeymoon suite is vacant. mmm... ohh...ha ha. no. not right now. why? um, you know, i'm just not really in the mood right now. why, 'cause you missed the class? missed the class? no, i'm just, you know, not in the mood. why? what are you, 7? how many times you gonna ask me why?

just until you really tell me. why? ok. because the kids are gonna be home any minute, i have a sink full of dishes, and i just-- why do i have to explain it? i'm just not in the mood. how about now? yeah. what? yeah. are you in the mood now, huh? huh? kick 1, 2, kick 1, 2. ooh. kick 1, 2. ooh. i'm a maniac! maniac! ah. now i'm in the mood. yes. i know. i know all about it. all about what? every time you go to the class, you get all turned on by hunky joe, right? and then...and then you come home to me to put out the fire. are you out of your mind? lookin' good, debra. lookin' good! so... you're getting all paranoid 'cause we had a little extra sex last week.

3 times. 3 times, right? you don't think that's out of the ordinary? i'm surprised it wasn't on the news. so you think i'm cheating on you with you? put it however you want, all right? you know what you're doing. you know what? i'm tired. could you just call yourself an idiot? yeah. you know i'm right, right? how would you like it if i did that to you? oh, please! what about every year when that stupid swimsuit issue arrives? i know i'm not gonna be getting much sleep that night. why is that, ray? that's not true. that's not true. don't try and make that like this. what about the naked channel that you're always trying to check to see if they forgot to scramble it? i'm not checking it. it's on the way to the travel channel. that's not-- who's the one in the bedroom with all the little character suggestions, huh? "i'm the stock boy, and you can't reach the sauce."

or, "ooh, come to bed with a limp." look...that isn't the same, all right? you can't compare that. no? why is that? because none of those things are real, ok?! they're all make-believe! they're games! this guy is real. he's flesh and blood and sweat and muscles, ok? and i don't like it! i don't like it! ray, did it ever occur to you that taking aerobics classes makes me feel better about myself? yeah. so if i feel better about myself, i feel better about a lot of other things, too. yeah, but that guy-- that guy just teaches class, that's all. that's all? that's it. you know, i've seen good-looking men before.

where? all you ever do is complain about how little sex we have, and last week we had more than enough, and all it did was make you suspicious. ah, i don't know. i'm an idiot, i my idiot. ye there's that kishow about that? the kids are gonna be home in 15 minute we, od, thene'll have time for a nap, too. we, what about thgarbage? ahst leave it. oh, you're dirty. you may be muddling through allergies. try zyrtec-d®. powerful relief of nasal congestion and other allergy symptoms -- all in one pill.

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and you could save up to 75% on prescription copays. hey. hey. you here again? yeah. i just-- i wanted to bring hunky joe a new boom box. he's not teaching class today. what? hi, everybody. hey. everybody ready to move? here we go. 5, 6, 7, 8... you know, i'm feeling better about myself.

captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource

ally: mommy! what is it, sweetie? the boys are bothering me. what are they doing? they're gobbling.

ha ha. gobbling. i told them to stop, but they keep doing it. well-- [twins gobbling] [gobbling] see?! [gobbling] [gobbling continues] they're probably just doing it because it makes you mad. if you pretend it doesn't bother you, i'm sure they'll stop. i don't know... [gobbling] you know what you should do? you should gobble, too. then they'll get bored and leave you alone. ehh... why, what do you got, ray? hey, you two, quit gobbling, you hear me? or you will never see ice cream again for the rest of your life! [gobbling stops] there ya go. thank you, daddy. daddyloves you.

[laughter] ok, ok. i got one for ya.

all right, there's this old man, right? and he's sitting on this park bench and he's crying uncontrollably, right? so this guy walks up, he says, "hey, old man, what seems to be the problem?" and the guys says, "i just married a beautiful 25-year-old woman. "every evening she cooks me this great gourmet meal, "then we have a wonderful night of passion and we fall asleep in each other's arms." so the guy says, "well, then why are you crying?" and the old man sa--ha ha ha-- oh, my god. ha ha ha ha. so the old man sa--ha ha ha ha! th-the old man sa-- the old man sa-- the old man says, "i forgot where i live!" right? forgot where i live.

that's a good one. i love an old man joke. i married one. another good one! everyone have wine? yeah. ok, uh, thank you, amy. thank you, marie. this was a terrific thanksgiving. i just love it, you know? that real family feeling, you know? i love thanksgiving. i wish every day could be like this. yeah, me, too. i love turkey. well, it doesn't have to end on thanksgiving. i mean, this sunday is my turkey tortellini day.

and i'm gonna teach amy how to make it. so we can have another family feast. all right, i'm wearing my stretchy pants to that one. sunday would be great. hey, deb! you should cook with me and marie sunday morning. gosh, really? um...oh, sunday i really have my hands full. that's bath day, you know... the twins and ray. but you can count us in for the eating of the meal. no way. your girl doesn't cook, you're out. oh, stop it, frank. the dinner's for everyone. yeah, and i'll try to come up with another joke. i got it. well, i better get started with these dishes. no, no. you relax, marie. ray? yeah, ma. relax.

ray! oh, that went pretty good, huh? i could kill amy. cooking with marie. well, she's drunk. anyway, you were the one who went on and on about how nice it was to be with everybody. yes, today was nice, but i can't be in the kitchen with you mother. that's the belly of the beast. yeah... debra-- ah! wow, those shoes are quiet, huh? debra, i don't know why your rolls are all left. i liked them. the burnt part gave them some flavor. oh, and don't worry about those pots and pans, hoy. i know how to do those. oh, well, cleaning is cleaning. you'd think so. all right. there it is.

the raising of the pan. thanksgiving is officially over. and always with that little smile. she's so good at that. yeah. that was like a drive-by. i should just tell her to-- you know what you could do? what? gobble. yeah. if you gobble, then she'll get bored and she'll just leave you alone. thanks. [as marie] oh, debra. i envy you, the way you can just roll out of bed and put on anything and not even care. gobble gobble gobble gobble! you know what? you might be right. what? erything i told ally about pretending it doesn't bother her. why haven't i tried that with your mother? because that's how you deal with children. yeah...ok. but normal children.

this one--this one's big and a little off her nut. no, no. every time marie says something mean or insulting, i get mad. and maybe that's why she keeps doing it. i should just change the way i react to her. god, that's in every book. books. there's nothing wrong with h you react. ray, i wanted to hit her with a frying pan. get in line. your father's on the couch and he thinks from a lying-down position he can eat more mashed potatoes. hey. hey, marie. i would love to cook with you guys on sunday. really? belly of the beast. and you know what? ray's gonna be at the auto show. so we could do it at my house. we can hang out there all day, it'll be fun. are you all right, dear? yeah. i'm just super excited about sunday.

ok. wonderful. this should be educational for you. educational. that's a good one. what are you doing? a whole day cooking with my mother? hey, look, unless i make an effort to change my behavior, i can't expect your family to change theirs. and you could try this, too, you know. why? i'm used to them. it's like getting into a hot bath. you know, at first it's so hot that you don't think you can take it. but then, you know, once you get your luggage in, it's not that bad. you did a wonderful job of kneading, amy. thanks. i needed to hear that. adorable.

ok, next we're going to roll the dough. now, it can't be too thick or too thin. it's not easy. it needs a light touch. shall we let amy continue? yeah, go ahead, amy. i mean she's already on a roll. ok, yes. all right. so that's good. see? back and forth. just like ironing. oh... ha ha. i know, it's true, i can't iron. well...where were we? oh. ok, ok. amy, you continue doing that, and i'm gonna need some help with the sauce. um...