i don't know. you're my mush-mush? it's ok. i'm sorry, was i hurting you? sometimes i don't know my own strength. you and your big mitts. that's why we can't have pets. [polite laughter] my funny lady. look out for mr. big hands. ok, i'm going to bed. all right. we'll keep it down out here. oh, do whatever you want. good night, guys. always good to see you. bobby, tonight, could you not plop into bed? sometimes i wake up in midair. ok, you got it. no plopping. night, mushy-mush-mush. [slams door] so, robert. i love what you guys-- no, no, seriously. we've got to keep it down. [yawning]

ah. whoo. whoo, boy. i am tuckered out. you guys want to play monopoly or something? shouldn't you be getting home? well, i really have to make sure that joanne is in a real deep sleep, you know, 'cause i kind of have the tendency to plop into bed. yeah, mush-mush to us. hey, i know. how about pictionary? i'll get a sketch pad. oh, don't you feel bad for robert? i--i feel bad for you, 'cause i'm going to bed. now, wait a minute. wait. listen, you've got to talk to robert. he's so unhappy with joanne. he's not unhappy. what?

so, she's a little bossy, all right? he seems fine with that. she's always putting him down, and he just sits there and takes it. hey,t's marriage. their marriage. that's their marriage over there. just tell him that he should talk to joanne about the way she treats him and how that makes him feel. how about, i'll just tell him to go home, and then you and i can go upstairs and shake it up? if you don't talk to him, i will. no, don't, no. i'll talk to him, ok? i know--i know what to say. found a deck of cards. crazy 8s. listen, robert. you really, really should go home to your wife, 'cause... debra's gotta pump breast milk.

yeah. you know what to say. i don't have to pump, robert. it's just that, um... you and joanne-- i mean, we think joanne is great. uh, but just sometimes, you know, with you, she can be not very nice. and, um, we were just thinking that it would help you if you told her-- robert, stop looking at my breasts. i'm sorry. listen, you know, joanne has to put up with a lot from me, you know. i am not the easiest person to live with. i, uh, i'm hairy and smelly, and i'm really kind of like aanimal. hi, dears. hey, marie, hi. i told you two, come on. you can't come in here anymore if you don't knock. gotcha. hey, your old lady's looking for you. joanne? yeah. she was a little short with me on the phone.

i think she's worried about you. i don't like that one. why can't you just be happy that robbie found someone? when are you gonna learn that it's not our place to meddle in our children's lives? but, marie, i don't think it's meddling if you love and care about the person. you know, you're just-- you're just strolling down the railroad tracks, and you don't hear the whoo-whoo! robert, i think what your father is trying to say is that sometimes joanne is-- a nutcracker. dad, you're talking about my wife. a nutcracker. robbie, you really should-- no. no. i'm not butting in. live your life.

robert, you just seem so unhappy. what is this? some kind of intervention? i happen to love joanne. she's--she's strong, she's independent. you don't know anything about her. you don't know about our...private life. we have chemistry. i remember when you took chemistry. that was the year you had no eyebrows. i don't appreciate this. i really don't. a family's not supposed to be like this. if no one is gonna support me, then i'd just rather you all butt out. wow, he really hates that chair.

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so you can do more. what are you doing? what are you doing? you're supposed to be studying for your sergeant's exam. how are we ever gonna afford anything nice? this is how you study. i'm taking a cartoon break and eating a banana. oh, that's great. you're gonnaput it f till the last minute and then, guess what-- you'll be watching cartoons full time and coming to me for banana money. [doorbell rings] you think you can answer the door? hey. hey. what do you want? um... well...

i--i wanted to come by and apologize for everybody yesterday. let me tell you something. none of you know her the way i do. yeah, yeah. i know. chemistry, but, um... i gotta tell you. i did just kind of overhear about the banana money. bobby, if you're not gonna get-- oh. hey, ray. hey. hi, joanne. uh, bobby didn't tell me you were coming over. oh, that's 'cause bobby didn't even know, you know? it's a surprise. oh, you know how we love it when you come over, ray, but bobby's got a lot of studying to do, and, you know, you are not the best influence on him. oh, ok. all right. i'm sorry. ray, wait. don't talk to him like that. excuse me? it's ok, robert.

no, no. it's not ok. i want you to apologize to raymond. apologize for what? for what you just said to him and for all the mean things you've ever said about him. she says mean things about me? oh, sure, sure. she's sweet to your face, but as soon as you leave, she talks about how your voice sounds like a wounded cow. or how when you run, it looks like you're trying to hold a pencil between your cheeks. hmm. i'm tired of the way you treat him. he's my brother. and i'm gonna tell you something else, joanne, maybe if you just showed a little warmth to people, they wouldn't be so scared of you. and maybe if you just gave me a clue that you still cared about me, i wouldn't spend so much time hiding out at ray and debra's. and you want to know something else? things are gonna have to start changing around here. i want a divorce.

what? ah, that felt good. i've been waiting for the right time. thank you. [doorbell rings] i'll get that. i'm glad we talked. how much time do you think you'll need to get your stuff out of the house? hello, raymond. hi, ma. uh, listen, could you drive me to the mall? 'cause i could really use a sweater. ok. ok. we'll go saturday. no, no, no. oh, hello, joanne. how nice to see you. robbie, i made you a bundt cake. what's the matter? joanne just...dumped me. i don't understand. you know what, ma? i'll tell you about it in the car, ok? it's kind of chilly. i could use-- joanne dumped you? i want a sweater! joanne dumped you?

you. you. you never appreciated my robbie. i could use a sweater. you never loved him for the decent, delightful boy he is. you never realized how lucky you are to be a part of this wonderful family. i have held my tongue for 2 years, and i have given you every benefit of the doubt. that's the kind of person i am. the kind of person you are. you're an angry, pushy, manipulative bitch. oh! no! no! raymond, no! stop! stop!

you monster! you monster! you! n--no, you're not a monster. you're a creature. i'm not the one being restrained right now. and i'm not the one who danced topless in atlantic city. that's right. i know all about you... cinnamon. but as long as my son seemed happy, i decided to let him live in blissful ignorance. i knew she was a showgirl, ma. you knew? you knew this, and you still married her? you didn't tell me? could have saved money on the bachelor party. oh, come on. enough, enough. i don't want to hear this kind of thing anymore.

someone has to protect this family, and i'm through sitting idly by. and as for you... nobody dumps my son. you think you're dumping my son, ok, let's calm down. oh, yeah, well, let me tell you something. my son is dumping you. that's right. it's time to take out the trash. 3 minutes ago, i was watching cartoons and eating a banana. she still there? no. what's scary is i think i just saw a bat fly away.

you knew she was a showgirl? raymond, i hope you're not keeping this kind of a secret about debra. you mean, peppermint? i don't like that, raymond. thank god, i live across the street from you. and now... we all need to have a piece of this cake. what do i do now? i'll tell you what you don't do. you don't call mom a bitch.

oh, my god. i usually don't get that way, but you know how strong maternal instincts are. yeah, i know. it still hurts when it rains. shh, shh, shh. here he comes. oh, my god. did you see who's sitting over there? joanne. get outta here. she is? huh. do you think she saw me? should i go say hi? no, no. you don' have to go. she's a horrible person. she's a creature. hi. hey. hey. look at this. hello, barones. hi, bobby. hi. oh, what a pleasant surprise. oh, how have you been? yeah. thanks, good. yeah. good to see you. you're looking well.

ow. what? oh, amy. my girlfriend. my girlfriend amy. oh, nice to meet you. hi. quite a grip you've got there. so, um... well, i guess i'd better be getting back to my table there. sure, sure, yeah. uh, listen. um... now that i'm back in town, it might be fun to catch up if you want. um, here's my number. uh, so, uh, it was really good to see all of you again. nice meeting you. it was a really nice surprise. [chuckles] raymond: what? she went back to her maiden name. glotz. cinnamon glotz? joanne. joanne glotz. biggest mistake of my life.

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the proof is in every bottle of febreze fabric refresher. so we each payat's wrong for what we ate.he bill yeah, all right. it's just easier to split it up equally, dad. yes, easier for those of you who had appetizers. hey, hey, you know what? i'll catch up with you. i want to check dad's tip. you don't tip on the tax or the liquor.

all right, all right. get in the car. you're drunk. captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource

debra: don't you miss italy, ray? oh, i just loved it so much there. everybody got along so well. i wish we could hold on to that feeling, you know, of just enjoying every day. how about we go upstairs and enjoy the rest of today? okay. [ car approaching ] you hear that?

hey. i want you to know stuff i want you to be kind. i want you to be smart. super smart. i want one thing in a doctor. i want you to be handsome. i want you to be awesome. i don't want you to look at the chart before you say hi...david. i want you to return my emails.

i want you to keep me doing this for another sixty years. at kaiser permanente, we want you to choose the doctor that's right for you. find your perfect match at kp.org and thrive. this is the creamy chicken corn chowder. i mean, look at it. so indulgent. did i tell you i am on the... [ both ] chicken pot pie diet! me too! [ male announcer ] so indulgent, you'll never believe they're light. 100-calorie progresso light soups. [ female announcer ] at 100 calories, not all food choices add up. some are giant. some not so giant. when managing your weight, bigger is always better. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant this is your father's fault. ♪ ho ho ho what are you talking about? i was saying "stop." i was stomping on the brakes, but nothing happened. oh, my god. [ stuttering ]

our house -- look at our house. i know. i know. ma, what the hell? he knew about the brakes. what did the mechanic say about the brakes? tell them. ah! aw, look at this. the mechanic said the brakes were bad. of course he's going to say that. every time, he says the brakes are bad. well, i think the brakes are bad, frank. okay, fine. i'll have the brakes checked when i get the taillight fixed. the taillight?! frank, look at the house! i saw it. look at this --

this dry wall, it's like paper, probably foreign-made. on the other hand, say what you want about american cars... beats a house. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! what, did they driv? yeah. yeah. what happened?

granstopped by.ndpa robert, what do we do? i'll fill out a report. you. oh, here we go. did i let you drive? becausanymore.n't see i can see a house! oh, my god. what -- all right, look,don't w. that dad's car insurance will cover this. i'm not sureit'. we never go anywhere. i can't believe this! all rhomeowner's insurance? okaygood. right.nce.

where did i put that? it's not over there. get out of here, dog. no, go away. oh, look at him. can we keep him? no, sweetie. we never get anything. we can't keep a dog. he'll juokay?n away, get him out. go out the back. let them take the dogt through the kitchen. he'll make a mess in there. looks like we're covered. oh, wonderful. you'the deductible. pay stinkin' crooks. here's what you do. yto add an extra grandr to the bill,

your insurance company cuts yi get it back. i don't want to hear this.-- hey, dudlwake up.ght, the world works. into the insurance system. well, it's also built into the system.l justice category -- fraud. nerd! nerd? you called me a nerd? you drive into the houseand? you're calling me a nerd? ray, do something. what? tell your father the right way.this hey, to pay anything is the right way. look at this scratch. see, here's the thing. drives their carn into someone's home,

should be sympathetic and try to help the person whose home has been d try to make it better! but you won't listen. i won't listen? i must say, debra, thatthe situation.help my tone? my tone? you just drove a carinto my hou! to leave the back door open cross-ventilation going. okgoing to do? we wilyou talk to them.m? what do i say? aren't you upset about this? watch this. he's going tota. say something?u onabout your fathery with insurance matters. i mean, over the years,

we've of incidentse anvery well.ways done that's true. it is true. some incredible things. franto pay for this. that's all there is to it. yeah, yeah, yeah. frathe deductible.ng it's going to be. oh, really? just standing there? am i supposed to do? oh, thanks.ht. for $1,000 by tomorrow. don't hold your breath. frank, i'm not kidding. fine. fine! the damn deductible! apparently, care about is money!