then the other one would have been mad. no. you would have chon a family member, and that would have been honorable. come on. dad, would you have been happy if i asked robert to go? give me my ticket. okay, listen, you know what? i don't have a ticket for either of you. i'm sorry. i told gianni i was going to take him, and i'm going to take him. well, that's the way it should be, i guess. hey, why don't you getaymond. one of those bigime. number-one foam fingers and wave it in the air? because you're number one, raymd. you're number one! but remember this -- one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. all right?

all right, now that he's gone, give me my ticket. dad, i told you, i don't have one. fine! fine! do what you want. let me tell you this. i know what it's going to say on my tombstone -- my son went to the sup bl and now i'm dead. no, n't. no, don't, ma. don't do it. what? don't try to get me to change my mind, okay? i see you're firing up all the pistons in your little guilt mache. i don't have a guilt machine, raymond. all i have is the hope that our family coul happy. there's a lot of miles on that machine, but it runs like new. can you believe this?

it's the best assignment i've ever gotten, and i can't even enjoy it now because everybody hates me. i understand, ray. i mean, you know what? it's your trip and you're entitled to take your friend instead of your brother or your father or your wife. wife? yeah, wife. that's me, remember? [ hums "here comes the bride" ] no, i know the song. [ hums "here comes the bride" ] i know that song. it was the happiest day of my life. you get to go on this great trip, and it never even occurred to you to ask m that's because this is football. so what? oh, come on. if you had two tickets to the pottery barn grand championships, would you want to take m ray, i don't care about the football,

but what about us getting away together? i mean, you're going to this nice hotel, we could have dinner -- okay, see? that's the problem. the hotel -- you know, with the paper's budget, it's probably like a halfway house and the food's going to stink. you just told me this was the greatest assignment you ever got. well, that's the key word -- assignment. nobody brings their wives because that weekend they're married to the game. assignment. you know what? you said you were going to take gianni, so you should take gianni. i told him i was going to take him. all right, so just go. look, i don't want to go if you'rgoing to hate me. i don't te you, ray. oh, come on. look, when i get back, you and i, we'll go somewhere. we should because we never get away together. okay, then we ll, we will, all right? and we'll go where you want to go. you know, girlie land. okay. yeah, i an it. it'll be great. we'll wear matching sweaters

and we'll walk in the mountains, and we won't come home until we find a rainbow. okay? okay, you're all set. somebody will be here to help you with your bags. all righty, thank you. great. hey, ray, they got a frozen yogurt machine in that restaurant. you want a cone? no, not now. it's 10:30 in the morning. there are no rules this week, pal. no. i'm getting one. vanilla chocolate swirly. so barone finally makes it to the big one. hey, stu, i didn't know "the daily news" covered the super bowl. oh, yeah, yeah. funny. he you know mary jo, my wife. oh, yeah. hi. sure. hi, ray. nice to see you. how are you? hey, barone. hey, doug, what's up? not much. hi, ray. oh, hi, lori. hi. boy.

how are u doing? oh, hhey, rich. hi, lisa. hi. nice to see you. wow.ook at all you...couples. is debra here? uh, no, no. she wanted to come but her eye, she got hit in the head with a flute. yeah. you know the kids, they throw -- oh, my goodness. no, no, she's okay. she's fine. she just can't look at things right now. yeah. okay, well, when i see her at school, i promise not to rub it in too much about all the fun shmissed. yeah, right, right. damn it, that's right. yeah, yeah. alough if you did tell her, she probably wouldn't understand too much because that flute thing banged her up pretty bad. yeah, yeah. here you go, raymie. i got you sprinkles. no rules.

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i'm sorry, gianni.o so, when does she get here? she's driving in from the airport now, man. i can't believe you' bringing her here. all the guys brought their wives. she deserves to have some fun, you know? there's crafts festivals and outlet stores. listen, it's not going to affect us at all, man. huh? we're still going tolf all day. it's just that at night, if there's a chance for hotel sex, i'd rather have her in the room than you. you don't know that. come on, man. we still geto go to the super bowl, right? isn't that what it's all about, huh? ♪ the super bowl, we're at the super bowl ♪

i don't feel like dancing now. i guess i got to go move in with your fat reporter friend. hey, he's a good guy. mike really is. yeah, and where am i going to end up tomorrow when you fly in urother? [ knock on door ] just be cool, all right? just be cool. hey! ha ha ha. hi, gianni. hello. everythi all right? yeah, no, no. everything's great. i'll see you two later. oh, man. now i feel bad. no, don't. he still gets go to the game sunday, and you'reere. it really works out for everybody. oh, my gosh. look at this. yeah, guess i was wrong about the hotel. it's pretty nice. oh, gosh, yeah, it's just -- it's --

oh, ray, it's beautiful. thank you for calling me. well, it was weird without you here. so, my mom had no problem taking the kids? no. how lucky are we that she lives across the street? whoa. whoa. what, were you drinking on the plane? a little bit. so, it is so warhere. i can't believe it. it's 15 degrees in new york. i know. hey, uh, listen, the restaurants are all closed, but they got the 24-hour room service if we want it, or i could put this "do not disturb" sign on the door and we would not be disturbed. hmm. on the door hold on. before you make your decision, let me just -- let me throw this into the mix. come here. you are drunk. oh, yes.

ray, you want to get some breakfast? good morning. ooh, you look nice. you should see me up close. ha ha ha. [ knock on door ] woman: yoo-hoo! anybody home? who'that? womanoh, you know, that's stu and mary jo. last night i told them that you were coming. mary jo is here? oh. hi! i'm so glad you came. how's your eye? crafts festival. what's up? i told them to come by 'cause they're going to this place that's right up your alley. you wouldn't believe it. they have this whole international market downtown. arts and crafts from 50 different countries. 50 countries? i'll bet some of them are foreign. that sounds great. ray, you should get ready. stu and i got to go to that press conference,

so why don't you guys go ahead? so we'll meet you later? we won't be done golfing. you guys should get dinner on ur own. i'm sure we can manage.ng. come on, the shuttle's probably there. great. so go tchotchke crazy. wait, ray. what? could we, uh, talk? you want me to hold the shuttle? you want her to hold the shuttle? no, ray. you want to take the next shuttle? they leave every half-hour, right? i'm not getting on any shuttle. yeah. she was on a shuttle once and someone, um, called her fat. well, maybe debra can catch up with us later. all right. i'll see you at the press conference. right. i'll see you there.

don't you want to go to the crafts place? by myself? all the wives are going. that's what happens here. every day the ladiesdo. while the men golf. that's what happens here. when a we together, ray? does that happen here? no, i'm going to see you tonight, right? and then it's going to really happen. come on. why aren't you happy? i thought you would like this. i can see why you like it, ray, because let me see if i get this itinerary correct.this. um, in the morning, you drop me off at wives' day camp anat night i get to be your super bowl whore. wow. talk about putting a bad spin on it. well, how would you describe ? it's fun. i'm having f and you're having fun. why you got to get all potty-mouthed?

sorry. my pimp told me you liked it rough. what are you talking about? what did i do wrong? i should have own this was too good to be true. will you tell me the problem? that makes it even worse. you just don't get it! no, no. i don't get it. what? i'm here. i'm at the super bowl with my best friend. i'm having a great time... with your blessing, mind you. i see the other wives are here havinfun. i thought you would, too. i really thought that you would like it. instead, you're yelling at me. that's not fair. you weren't even supposed to be here. what did you say? what, the whole thing? no, just that last thing. oh. whatever that was, that wasn't the last thing, 'cause the last thing was ing to be, "i'm sorry and i'm stupid." oh. oh.

oh, come on. what's the matter? y-you know what? you we hardly spends any time together, and itoe seem to bother you. the last thing we did together, what was it? oh, we stopped at a drive-through on the way home fr me takingou to the doctor to get your ear drained. that's right. we had those great tacos. look, i know that this is the super bowl, but it's just -- i was so happy on the plane ride over here because i thought that you -- oh, yno. no, no. you're not i'm gogoing to go home. no, look, i'm not going to go golfing. i'll go to the press conference, and you and i get the first shuttle to the 50 countries. no, ray. no, i want to, and we're going to have dinner. and after that, no sex. you deserve it.

doing that because you feel bad is not what i wanted. listen, no. that's where you'rwrong, okay? i want to spend time with you. you'll have 20 minutes when you take me to the airport. that's not even funny. will you stop packing, please? we're going to hang out today, tomorrow, too, and sunday. i'm not even going to go to the super bowl! what? i know it's hard for you to believe, but i like spending time with you. i will not go to the super bowl. i get what you're trying to do. i'm going to rip up the tickets. where are they? all right, okay. you think i'm playing? all right. just let me find them. here they are. here they are. i get it. there you go! stop! what are you doing? i don't stop it, baby. i keep going. maybe you think i could scotch-tape them together. ray, don't! now i can't. see? whoa, wait a minute. here's two little pieces. maybe i can get in with just these pieces.

[ mumbles ] i don't think so. all gone. i can't believe you did that. i love you. why would you do that to me? you're supposed to be happy! hitting isn't happy. i don't want you to give up the super bowl. how selfish do you think i am? you love the super bowl. that's the point. i love you more than the super bowl! for the restf my life, i'm going to be known as the wife who made you eat your super bowl tickets! i only ate the tickets so you could be happy. you have to be happy! nobody told you to do that! that's the good part. i want time with you! i want time with you! well, we gotlentyof time now!

now i'm a little unhappy. what about gianni? you ripped up his ticket, too. what are you going to tell him? that you made me do it. ♪ doing it with a cold, just not going to happen.

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is just $499. hurry in to h.h. gregg for the pre-black friday sale before november 23rd. this holiday season... ...h.h. gregg has the best dea. i think you did a good thing bringing stefania here. oh, thank you, frank. we should do like a foreign exchange -- she comes here, you go there. oh, robbie! hello, son! what's wrong? what do you mean, dear? the happiness -- what gives? what, we can't be happy to see you? historically, no. you funny bunny. come on, sit down.

am i dying? [ doorbell rings ] why don't you get the door, robbie? no. come on, idiot. do it. why do you want me to get it? get the door! [ yelling ] come on! trust me, robert. it's okay. marie: come on... you know, robbie -- robbie, i know that you've been lonely and in need of some company, so i have a little surprise for you. what took so long? i got bags here. this is it? i didn't like this surprise when you gave it to me

40 years ago. hey, how about "thank you"? for what? for this. [ italian accent ] roberto. stefania. what -- h-how did you get here? i had to take the belt parkway to cross island -- bumper to bumper. oh, robbie, are you ppy? i asked her to visit to cheer you up. me -- i did it. stefania. let me help you. it is good to see you. oh, it is goodto see y. ma, you did this? who else? thank you for inviting me. you are nice and beautiful. man, does she need an english lesson.

hi, i remember your head. hey, she remembers me. hi, nice to see you again. so this is you after a 10-hour plane ride, huh? well, i give up. hello. hi. thank you for getting us. did you say "us"? you remember my father marco fogagnolo. yes, yes, of course.

you waand then you your putteswing it back --y? oh. oh, boy. okay.

all right. what's happening? okay. you take the putter back like this, and then you -- hey, look at that! hell of a shot there. you buy me another hot dog now. there's more to america than just hot dogs. i like hot dogs. okay, well, i'll tell you what -- i'll buy you another hot dog later... if you're good. okay. you hit now. all right. hey, there! hey! ha ha ha ha. oh! hey, hey, hey, hey, what do you think you're doing? what? i do nothing. oh, i think you did, you naughty monkey.

ha ha ha ha. oh, come on! hey, you're a good golf player. well, i'm trying to be. all right. listen, about -- okay, okay, okay. come here. listen, listen. look, i-i know you're just trying to have fun, okay, but there's something you should know. see, when raond and i were kids, he used to poke me quite a bit, all right? poke, poke, poke, poke. he was, how you say, uh, a jerk, okay? so that's why now i'm sort of anti-poke, okay? oh, no, no, no, no, but, listen, if i had to choose someone to poke me, it would be you... but don't poke me. okay? all right, here, you go first. okay. all right, very good. try again. okay, all right, take -- yeah, all right. take your time.

okay, all right, well, that -- that's, uh, all right. that's an interesting technique. all right! very nice! okay. okay. very good. thank you. okay. [ hits ball into cup ] hey,ravo, 'berto! very good. thank you, thank you. aah! ooh, i like. so, you two having a good time? yeah, a blast. things are fantastic. did, uh, you two do the, uh... the what? the huckle-buckle? why don't you mind your own business? oh, come on, i'm married, man.

i don't even huckle. here you go. hey, suzy, i got that. real? hey, nemo, frank's picking up a tab. don't take a check from him. hey, don't embarrass me in front of my international guests, all right? i'm buying. hey, you two, we're splitting this. see what i'm saying? grazie. i want to say something. i come to america to take care for stefania, but i also dream always to come to this country, and it is like i dream. i like the people, i like the life here very much... with the large drinks and so much ice. and i have to say, i did not like so much this one.

but now i do and i know stefania do. so what i tell you now is, we stay. what? wh-where? here -- lynbrook, america. that's cool. it's great surprise, no? uh, yeah. yeah! yeah, great surprise. but you just can't live here. i mean, what will you do...sir? who knows? i like this place. maybe i buy. oh, nemo would never sell. i think maybe he do.