and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> announcer: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- wanda sykes. formula one champion lewis hamilton. and music from band of merrymakers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, be warned, here's jimmy

>> jimmy: welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. the holidays, got a lot of crazy people in the audience tonight. it's hard to believe it's december already. we don't have seasons here in l.a. so one minute it's fourth of july, you're firing bottle rockets at your neighbor's roof. next thing you know there's a up. i was thinking about this today, there's not much of 2015 left. i don't know about you but i plan to make the most of it. you know what i'm going to do year? i'm going to party. [ cheers and applause ] i haven't really ever partied before.

the end of the year awards season has begun. people are making their lists of the top ten best or worst this or that. "time" magazine today revealed their person of the year. this is something they do every year. that person is german chancellor angela merkel. she is -- it's not an-gel-la, it's angle-la. the first woman to be named person of the year on her own, it's happened as a group, on her own, since corazon aquino, i know that because that issue of the magazine is still in my dentist's office. not only is angela merkel the first woman to be honored as individual person of the year if 20 years, also the first person whose last name rhymes with circle to get that award. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if it's an award but it's prestigious, especially when you consider it's from a magazine that had bb8 on the cover last year. when you're up there with bb and 8 you know it's going well.

finalists including caitlyn jenner, the leader of isis, for real, this is true. it's not necessarily an award, it's more -- anyway. and donald trump. so of course donald trump weighed in on this. he tweeted today, i told you "time" magazine would never pick me as perpendicular of the year, despite being the big favorite, they picked the person who's ruining germany. even in defeat he's gracious. "time" didn't name donald trump person of the year but they did release video footage from his photo shoot for their cover in august and they brought a bald eagle into his office. whoever came up with this must have just thought, this is hilarious. the eagle -- look at this. the animal trainer is fixing his hair. how comfortable he looks. he seems to be less comfortable than the eagle itself.

the eagle's agitated because his dead brother is on donald's head. yeah, oh! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] of course trump this week angered a lot of people by proposing a total and complete shutdown of mud lips entering the united states. but he's sticking by it. he defended himself last night in an interview with barbara walters. you know barbara walters is technically retired but she comes back whenever there's a natural disaster. [ laughter ] barbara asked trump a question that i don't know that it needed to be asked but she asked it. >> are you a bigot? >> not at all. probably the least of anybody you've ever met. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a big if. barbara walters has met mother teresa, which means he's even less bigoted than her, and that's good. trump told barbara he's the worst thing that ever happened to isis. and i have to agree.

the man who once fired meatloaf on television, a force to be conducted with. a poll, a first thing that pops into your head, donald trump said he's the worst thing to happen to isis. we asked people, donald trump is the worst thing ever to happen to blank, and let's see how long isis. >> fill in the blank, donald ever happened to? >> the country. >> fill in the blank, donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? >> earth. >> yeah, earth, universe. >> fill in the blank, donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? >> mexicans. >> fill in the blank, donald trump is the worst thing that >> scandinavia. >> fill in the blank, donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? >> donald trump is great man. >> donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? >> "saturday night live." >> america. >> yourself.

thing that ever happened to? >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> america. >> the world. >> the world this. >> this world. >> everything? >> mankind. >> humanity. >> everybody. >> the u.s. >> us. >> me. >> the united states. >> the world, all of the above. >> fill in the blank, donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? >> your mom. >> donald trump is the worst thing that ever happened to? some say it -- >> starts with an "i"? >> isis? >> do you agree? >> yes. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: there you go. america agrees. meanwhile, there's a senator from arizona, jeff flake, released what they call the waste book reports, an annual list of projects that this senator deems as a waste of taxpayer money. most of the projects on the list are science experiments that sound dumb if you don't bother to learn why they're being

a lot of them do sound crazy. the government this year funded a study of monkeys on treadmills, wine classes for minors, a shrimp fight club in which 68 panamanian mantis shrimp were pitted against each other to see who would emerge victorious, sounds awesome, a tv show i'd watch. in maryland $20 thousand was spent to celebrate the pin yacht that. [ cheers and applause ] how do you celebrate a pinata? by not clubbing one to death in the titles in the report are unusual. one of them is, hotel shower monitor. that was an epa study to find out how much time hotel guests spend in the shower. another one is goat truffles. che all sound weird. i'm going to read a list, guess whether the title is an item in the government waste report or the name of an independent band. an indie band. okay? all right. first, sheep in micro gravity. government waste or independent

all right, the answer is? government waste. nasa researchers put braces on the back legs of sheep to simulate the effects of micro gravity. jets to brazil. government waste or indie band? all right, most of the audience says band. and it is? yes, a band. [ cheers and applause ] super furry animals. it's split on this one. the answer is? indie band. couple more. life-sized pac man, government waste or indie up and down? indie band? let's see. it is, yeah, government waste. next, car seat headrest what do you think? government waste? a couple -- all right, it is an

one more, suspicious bar coasters. government waste or indie band? yeah, all right, that is government waste, yes. of course for the i think like ninth year run the most wasteful program to come out of congress in 2015 is congress itself. [ cheers and applause ] anyone finished their holiday shopping? a couple you? couple of lunatics, yes? holiday shopping can be a nightmare, let's be honest, it's hard to figure out what to get people, let alone where to get the stuffr this year, perhaps it's time to revisit the ways of our forefathers. this year may i suggest that you do your holiday shopping here? >> factory outlets are out of control. popular shops have lines out the door. sure online shopping is

it's time to go back to a simpler time at the sad old mall. top fashions for her at the dress barn. sweaters for him at today's man. teens can play the hottest games at time-out arcade. don't forget a stop at s and s cafeteria. there's so much to choose from, you'll wonder why you haven't ben here since middle school. enjoy all our remaining tenants. we still have a record store. the sad old mall where the hell did everybody go across from the abandoned tire depot in the bad part of town. >> jimmy: thank you. we have to take a break. when we come back, i need your attention. when we come back we have a very special guest from a far-away land. i cannot say more than that but trust me, you'll want to stick around, so please do.

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est text1 plain [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: on the show we have wanda signs, the wand of merrymakers. for those celebrating happy fourth night of hanukkah, happy hanukkah to you, guillermo. >> guillermo: to you too. >> jimmy: this is a special night in your home? >> guillermo: yes, thank you, it is. >> jimmy: the miracle of hanukkah, there was just enough oil to light the holy temple's menorah for one day, but instead it lasted eight days. essentially a celebration of the world's first energy efficient lightbulb.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> my name borat. i like-a porno. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what a surprise this is, huh? >> it only safe for me to come on during a festival of hanukkah because the jews are at home counting their chocolate monies. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that makes sense. >> what your name? >> jimmy: my name?

funny? >> because in kazakhstan, kimmel, meaning ladies vajine. and jimmy mean much hair. for example, my wife, she have a very jimmy kimmel. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. okay. congratulations. >> up to her -- around there. want a photo? >> jimmy: not really. very nice. >> now i look on your face, i understand why they give you this name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: flattered, thank you. >> i look on you and i become turgid. >> jimmy: what do you -- why are you here? what are you doing? what's going on? >> i have come -- very serious, i come make warning.

>> to you. the frivolous nincompoop sasha cohen, this man is a real pain in my exit hole. >> jimmy: i think what you said, sacha baron cohen, you're not a fan? >> i am not a fanny. his characters are very, very offensive. l.e.g., bruno, and his new one, donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hold on a second, i want to make sure i understand. you're saying donald trump is a sacha baron cohen character? >> yes. and a very unbelievable one. the only person who would pen muslims is someone with a brain like a female chicken. >> jimmy: i see. >> it is clearly a parody of a rich american racist. >> jimmy: i don't think so. he's actually real. >> no, no, he do not even look real.

on orange paint for face. and they leave no money for wig. now i know what happen to pamela anderson pubis. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: donald trump is definitely a real person. >> what? >> jimmy: yeah. he's a real person. >> well, if he is real, then donald trump is an absolute kimmel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you forgot -- you said warning? >> yes. mr. cohens have a new disgusting film, bewares. boys, bewares. >> jimmy: who? movie? >> yes, i have a propaganda footages of the movie flips grimesby." it looking nice.

>> look, seth, that's the couple who's adopting us. >> you are coming with me, right? >> i'd never leave my little brother. >> we've decided to adopt one of the brothers -- >> these boys are inseparable. it would break their hearts. >> so you're sure about that? >> he's the best i ever trained. >> toward 28 years i've been searching for my baby brother. >> you haven't seen anyone who looks like this? i hope i don't die before i get hold >> i'm your brother! he's going to be at this place tomorrow. >> eyes on the target. >> finally i can make things

>> oh my god. because of you my shot was compromised! >> a huge manhunt to found the rogue secret agent. >> stay away from me! >> don't worry, brother, i won't leave you! proof. >> we've got bullet-proof glass! >> that pull let was filled with a toxin, i'll be dead in 90 seconds if you don't suck me out. suck it or let me die. >> what would you like written on your gravestone? >> suck it! >> in what font would you like that? >> by me sebastian graves. >> no! >> i lost him forever. i'm useless. >> you are not useless. who was the man who could get me pregnant without waking me up? >> me. >> who's the man who's never

>> who had me at the police station without getting nattered? >> that wasn't me. >> never mind that. >> you could have guts. >> i disagree, you crimean ben affleck. >> i understand why you hold a gun so much. it completely detaches you from the guilt of your actions. >> stop shooting everything! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you don't like it? >> why they make a clappance? he say he will not suck on his brother's crumb, it not nice,

>> jimmy: will you suck your brother's crown. >> crown? crumb. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, crumb? yes, you have a crumb? >> jimmy: i think i might. >> i can't tell. >> jimmy: you can't tell? >> i can look -- >> jimmy: i do have one, thank you. take my word for it. >> i am not a man who makes -- >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> with another man -- >> jimmy: never, i'm not insinuating that at all. >> i am -- have to check. >> jimmy: right, gotcha, very good. >> i must say, anybody who join me in a boycott of these "brother grimesby" movie will have opportunity -- >> jimmy: boycott? >> yes, boycott. will have a chance to win a luxury automobile -- [ cheers and applause ] >> six men inside -- >> jimmy: looks great, wow, look at that. well. there you go.

nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "the brothers grimesby" opens in theaters march 11th. thank you, borat. tonight on the show, music from band of merrymakers, formula one champion lewis hamilton is here. and we'll be right back with wanda sykes. [ cheers and applause ] give the gift of the better network. save up to 50% on our hottest android smartphones like the motorola droid turbo 2. get the best deals

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show.

champion lewis hamilton is here. then later a holiday super group various members of a number of popular bands this is their album. called "welcome to our christmas party" band of merrymakers from the samsung stage. 50 cents of each album sold goes to musicares which is a great organization that helps those in need. tomorrow night calista flockhart will be here, chef adam perry lang will show us how to make a holiday roast and we'll hear music from run the jewels. i want to congratulate our announcer dicky barrett and his wife jessica on their new baby girl clementine. [ cheers and applause ] they just had her, she's healthy, and our executive producer jill ledderman and her husband rob cohen on their baby boy. whose name is rocket. they named the kid rocket. and when jill gets back from maternity leave i'll bring her out here to explain why they named the kid rocket. okay?

comic standing" she is very funny both on screen and in life. watch her on "black-ish" wednesday nights on abc, please say hello to wanda sykes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. yeah good seeing you -- >> jimmy: are you timing yourself? >> i'm counting my steps, i've got my fit bit. i got more steps coming out on "ellen." >> jimmy: that's right. the entrance -- >> your woukout sucks. >> jimmy: sorry. if you want to take a lap around the desk -- >> i might have to. >> jimmy: how many steps do you have to hit every day? >> 10,000. 10,000 steps every day.

killed. >> jimmy: why? >> i'm very competitive. so i want to hit my 10,000 steps. so if i look like it's 9:00 and i'm like, damn, i need 5,000 more steps! i go out for a walk. and i live up in the hill. and i'm like, i am fresh coyote meat right now, what the hell am i doing out here? >> jimmy: there are coyotes there. >> hm, wait a minute, wait a minute, i need two more, come on come on! >> jimmy: did you work on "black-ish" today? >> no, no no. it was "jimmy kimmel live" tonight. >> jimmy: what do you mean? oh, wait. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: you block the out the whole day? >> i need the whole day. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> this doesn't happen. i don't wake up like this. i'm not beyonce. >> jimmy: you're not beyonce? >> i am not beyonce.

so i have to, you know, get -- it's a whole process. i've got a whole team back there. flew people in. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i got a structural engineer. it's a lot. >> jimmy: i'm surprised that you -- that that's the sort of thing that concerns -- i wouldn't think you would really even bother with that kind of stuff. >> are you kidding me? >> jimmy: i know, you seem very down to effort, you don't seem like -- >> >> i am. but you can be cute and down to effort. >> jimmy: i see. >> down to earth, you look like a bump? look at her, she's a troll. i bet you she's down there early. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: looking at you now, it doesn't seem like you're wearing much makeup. >> there's spackle. >> jimmy: there is? >> there's a weight and pulley system somewhere around there. i got a lot going on. it's a lot. >> jimmy: i had no idea you were so show business. i really is something.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so you -- >> this is very uncomfortable. sitting here like a meth head. >> jimmy: sometimes when the guests talk if the chair's too comfortable they fall asleep. you're a football fan. your team is the saints? >> yes, god what an awful season. >> jimmy: a very bad season. >> very bad season. >> jimmy: do you gamble on the games, that sort of thing? >> god no, no. i would have to like end up like in prostitution. i would lose everything. i would lose everything. >> jimmy: do you watch -- >> i can't gamble. >> jimmy: do you watch alone or do you have other people -- >> no, i love watching football. i have my big tv. you know. >> jimmy: how big is your tv? >> oh my god. the wanda cave. >> jimmy: is there really a wanda cave? >> there really is a wanda cave.

>> jimmy: that's nice, yes. >> it was hard getting it in a room that's 6 by 6. >> jimmy: where there's a will there's a way. >> the wanda cave is nice. tvs nowadays, that's why you've got to do all of this, hi-def gh definition definition. now they've got what is it, 4k? now you can see everything. my tv is very clear. it's beautiful. actually, watching football, season. >> jimmy: really? it's such a problem. >> i'm waiting to be cleared to watch this sunday. i took an awful hit. >> jimmy: by the way, i'm happy you're on "black-ish." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anthony anderson. i've known him many years. the show is really, really funny. and last week was your first week on the show? >> yes, yes, yes. >> jimmy: are you having fun? >> i'm having a blast over there, everyone's great. like you said, anthony, everyone who works in the office there,

>> jimmy: lawrence fishburne? >> oh my god. i'm on a show with lawrence fishburne. you know, i just -- we were in a makeup trailer together. and i just was staring at him. he goes, hello, miss sykes. that voice. and i was like, hooo! i felt some kind of way. something like that. >> jimmy: the kids from the show are very cute. >> the kids are the best kids on tv. >> jimmy: you think so? >> yes. >> jimmy: have you evaluated kids from the other shows? >> i don't care for them. but the kids on this show -- >> jimmy: you mean their performances? >> they're just -- no they're really good kids. they're the best kids onscreen. they're the best kids just hanging out with them. >> jimmy: they're not your typical tv kids? >> no, they don't annoy me, you know? >> jimmy: that's nice. >> they're still kids. but they're just very talented. >> jimmy: yeah. right, yeah. >> i've been on some shows with

>> jimmy: who's the worst kid you ever worked with? >> i can't talk about that. i can't do that. you work with little kids, they're like, boy, my 401(k) took a hit today. >> jimmy: it's strange, yeah. actor kids are weird. >> annoying. >> jimmy: there's always an adult who's not their parent sitting nearby, you don't know -- kind of like a parole officer. >> yes, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: know what i mean? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are you doing standup while working on the show? >> yes, yes, yes. i'm always doing standup. [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to -- i'll be in ohio this weekend. >> jimmy: that's a very big state. can you narrow it town? >> they're going to drop me down in the middle of it. i'll just roam around. >> jimmy: gravitate toward cleveland or cincinnati? >> yeah, yeah. i'll stop in cincinnati on friday night. columbus, ohio. very good. it's always great to see you. i'm so happy you're on the show.

"black-ish" airs wednesdays at abc. it's getting a little warm, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by kohl's. all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree. learn more at phoenix.edu. let's watch this. no, this. how about this? no, no, no.

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test text1 underline test text1 italics test text1 plain still to come, merrymakers. our next guest has become a hugely successful auto racing champion despite having drive on the wrong side of the road. he just won his third formula 1 world championship and his second in a row. please welcome a speedy fellow, lewis hamilton.

>> jimmy: how are you doing? how fast do those formula 1 cars go? >> first, good evening, everyone, how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] >> the cars, the car will go over 200 miles an hour. the fastest we do is 230. >> jimmy: when you are driving like a regular car on the street, do you feel like you're going very slow? >> yeah, i get road rage because i'm driving too slow. >> jimmy: have you received speeding tickets? >> when i was 17, 18, i definitely did. but what's funny is i got pulled over when i was younger, probably early 20s, and i finally got to formula 1, i got a really good car, amg mercedes, it made a lot of noise. i got pulled over because of the noise. the guy came to the win, who do you think you are, lewis -- oh. hey. have a good night, lewis. >> jimmy: that's nice, that worked out all right.

photograph -- how old are you? >> i'm 8. >> jimmy: you're driving a go cart. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did your dad build this go-kart? >> he didn't. so i spent the weekends with my dad. my dad had absolutely no idea what to do with his son. >> jimmy: he wasn't a racer? >> he wasn't a racer. my dad work toward british rail. i grew up on his couch. he was into formula 1, on the weekends we watched from age of 5. he bought me a remote-controlled car. i was racing people at 5 years old. he thought i hot good hand to eye card nation so he bought on go cart. started as a hobby. i won my first six races, kept winning. won my first british championship when i was 10. to receive the award you go to this real cool event, like our oscars but it completely sucks. it's all really good.

mclaren. who edson drove for. i was a huge fan. i said, i want to drive for you. he signed me three years later. i won the championship ten years later. >> jimmy: how old were you when he signed you? >> 13. >> jimmy: not even legal to drive. >> exactly. >> jimmy: how much is a formula 1 car, how much is that worth? >> i don't know. not many people buy them. there's a lot of people on the team. for two cars, 1,300 people to build those two cars. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> the most high-tech -- we could build a space rocket to send to outer space, it's crazy. the technology. when you ask about how fast our car goes, it's not actually how quick it goes in a straight line. it goes through corners like no other car. >> jimmy: you also have your own plane? it's not a dinky little plane. put the picture up.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you better. >> i love cars and i love planes. so i bought this plane. at the airport you see sad old stripe down the side. if i get a plane, i'm going to pimp it out. >> jimmy: paint it red. >> exactly. >> jimmy: when women come on this plane do they immediately disrobe? do they waste any time? do they sit first? do they take their clothes off -- >> they take their shoes out. come in my house or on my plane, take your shoes off first. >> jimmy: this might be the craziest thing you've ever done. which is you're spraying v. vladimir putin with champagne. [ cheers and applause ] end it. prix? look, i'm ahead of him, it's just the way the picture -- >> jimmy: it's jut the angle. >> the guy behind got him. >> jimmy: is the guy behind in

>> the funny thing is there was talk it was his double. >> jimmy: oh, doubles, right. >> he has so much security. they had serious -- these bags with some serious metal inside. >> jimmy: right. do you think it was the double? was it the real putin? i have no idea. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> all i know is i did not want to spray him. i've seen movies. i know what russians are capable of. i love russian people but, just saying. >> jimmy: vladimir putin, yeah, kind of a scary individual. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: here in the united states, nascar is really the big thing. have you ever thought about possibly racing in nascar? >> i love cars in general. i went to watch jeff gordon recently in miami, his last race. >> jimmy: you did yeah. >> i never go to race ts watch, i'm always driving. i was sitting there. where's my car? i wanted to get out. >> jimmy: this is something that you would consider? >> i would love to do it, yeah.

>> street track, street circuit. i wish racing wasn't so restricted. i wish i could do formula 1 then hop over and do street races. you've got to learn about the car, it takes a lot longer. >> jimmy: you've got a plane, you can hop over wherever you want, to it's unbelievable. it's great to haveyou here. it's great to meet you. lewis hamilton, everybody. formula 1 racing champion. be right back with band of merrymakers! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to wanda sykes, lewis hamilton, thanks to borat, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first their album is called "welcome to our christmas party" here with the song "snow snow snow" band of merrymakers. snow we want snow we want snow snow snow welcome to our christmas party grab your coat gonna have some fun hey time to get this season started raise your cup cheers to everyone jingle bell jingle bell let's sleigh yeah we've been waiting so long for the holiday yeah jingle bell jingle bell let's sleigh

' cause we're wishing for a blizzard and a pint of cheer we're laughing and were clappin' this time of year snow we want snow from new york to california here we go oh snow we want snow for the london bridge and kids in tokyo looking up up up for that frosty flaky stuff let it fall fall fall tonight snow we want snow we want snow snow snow weather man says a storm is coming temperature gonna hit zero hey kids are staring out the window hoping jack frost nips their nose jingle bell jingle bell let's sleigh yeah we've been waiting so long for the holiday yeah

yeah we've been waiting so long gotta celebrate ' cause we're wishing for a blizzard and a pint of cheer we're laughing and were clappin' this time of year snow we want snow from new york to california here we go oh snow we want snow for the london bridge and kids in tokyo looking up up up for that frosty flaky stuff let it fall fall fall tonight snow we want snow we want snow snow snow when we wake up it's all marshmallow white ain't this a wonderful life snow we want snow from new york to california here we go oh snow we want snow for the london bridge

for that frosty flaky stuff fall fall tonight snow we want snow we want snow snow snow from new york to california here we go oh snow we want snow for the london bridge and kids in tokyo looking up up up for that frosty flaky stuff snow we want snow we want snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow when we wake up