coming up -- helping parents raise ethical children. >> what do you do as a parent if it is clear to you that one of your children has told a lie? and, in philadelphia, the new national museum of american jewish history. ♪ plus, this weekend before thanksgiving, a benedictine monk and mystic on seeing everything as a gift. major funding is provided by the lily endowment, an indianapolis based private family practice. dedicated to community development and education. additional funding by mutual of

america. designing customized individual and group retirement products. that's why we're your retirement company. also by the henry louis foundation and the corporation for public broadcasting. >> welcome. a strong muslim statement against terrorism this week as muslims from around the world gathered in saudi arabia. hajj, the annual pilgrimage to mecca. close to 3 million people were there to perform the series of rituals that are a major part of the journey. on monday, saudi arabia's highest religious leader, the grand mufti, delivered a sermon calling for religious moderation. he said islam prohibits terrorism, extremism and injustice.

he also told the worshippers to be proud of their faith, despite efforts to defame islam. also this week, secretary of state hillary clinton released the state department's annual report on international religious freedom. as in years past, the report cites particular concern about the situation in several countries, including china, north korea, iran and saudi arabia. some activists have criticized the administration for not paying enough attention to religious freedom, but secretary clinton said the issue is "a core element of us diplomacy." meanwhile, religious and human rights activists around the world are urging the release of a christian woman in pakistan who has been sentenced to death by hanging for insulting the prophet muhammad. she allegedly denied that muhammad was a prophet. the head of the transportation security administration said airline passengers will still have to undergo full body scans or

additional pat downs even if they object because of their religion. the tsa says people who refuse the enhanced searches on any grounds will not be allowed to board their flights. some religious groups have voiced concerns over violations of modesty and privacy. sikh and muslim groups have also said that members of their faiths are often unfairly targeted by airport screeners. roman catholic cardinals from around the world gathered in rome for a special discussion of key issues facing the church, including the global clergy sex abuse crisis and the persecution of christian minority communities. the meeting came just before this weekend's ceremonies to elevate 24 new cardinals, including two american archbishops. earlier in the week, the us catholic bishops held their annual fall meeting, in baltimore.

in a surprise break with tradition, the bishops elected new york archbishop timothy dolan as their new president, rather than the expected choice tucson, arizona bishop gerald kicanas, who is the current vice-president of the bishop's conference. insiders said several factors influenced the vote, including public criticism of how kicanas handled the clergy sex abuse crisis, and dolan's strong advocacy of the church's teachings. in other news, the number of americans suffering from hunger remained at a record high in 2009. according to an annual report from the department of agriculture, one in 7 households could not adequately feed all of its members at some time last year. that percentage increased slightly from 2008, keeping the number of hungry people at its highest level since the government began tracking what it calls, "food insecurity" 15 years ago. another study out this week sheds new light on how americans think about marriage. in a survey by the pew research

center and time magazine, people were asked, "is marriage obsolete?" 39% responded yes. in recent years only slightly more than half of american adults were married, compared to nearly 75% of the population in 1960. still, most people say they are optimistic about the future of marriage. we have a profile today of a man who is spending his life trying to help bring about a more ethical america. he is rushworth kidder, a former christian science monitor correspondent and columnist who founded and runs the institute for global ethics. as he makes clear in his new book, good kids, tough choices, kidder wants to help parents help their children make ethical decisions and develop the moral courage to carry them out. >> a familiar sight in

rockland, maine is rushworth kidder leaving town. from his think tank, the institute for global ethics, kidder is on the road about half the time helping corporations, schools and other groups learn to think about what is ethical. this day-long session was at new york university's shack institute of real estate. >> what are the characteristics of a morally courageous individual? kidder says at sessions like this one he has talked with 40,000 people. but now, in his new book, kidder is focusing on how parents can raise good kids who can make tough choices. the first step is easy, telling right from wrong. you ask, is this illegal? against the rules? if not, another question. >> we call it the stench test. does the thing just plain stink. at some gut level, instinctive way, is this just wrong?

suppose it passes that one, go to the front page test. how are you going to feel if everything you did shows up on the front page of tomorrow's paper, or, these days, on youtube or facebook? and finally, the one i love, is what we call the mom test. the mom test is what would my mother do in this situation. according to moral philosophers, people will make decisions based on consequences or outcomes. the greatest good for the greatest number. what do you do as a parent? >> the 3-year-old still tells the truth. the 9-year-old's lying is pretty prevalent. i would say daily to weekly. it's been quite an issue. >> kidder says younger children lie but don't cover it up. >> kidder says three year olds lie, but don't yet cover it up, but older kids do both. >> there's a piece of research that describes the fact that if we're not careful that by the age of eight kids become, and

this is the phrase the researchers used, fully skilled lie tellers. that's a frightening phrase. >> kidder says all cultures identify five core values. >> honesty, responsibility and respect. fairness and compassion. there's no difference in the values held by males and the values held by females. there's no difference between the values held by people who say i am deeply religious and those who say i have no religion whatever. this really goes deep. the hardest ethical choices, kidder says, are not between right and wrong but between right and right, when two or more core values conflict. he told the story of a girl sworn to secrecy by her friend, who she then discovered was anorexic and putting her life at risk. >> wow, you've just dumped that teenager or that middle schooler

right in the middle of a right versus right dilemma when everything about truth telling is hugely important. if you don't tell the truth, somebody may be dead. on the other hand, you don't break a promise. >> kidder urges parents of young children to drill right and wrong into them. with older children, he encourages discussion, recognizing potential conflicts before they occur. >> just having the opportunity in some ways to talk about the things ahead of time with kids. to begin to get out some of the right versus right kinds of questions that come up. you've at least giving a child a way to understand that, oh yeah, these things happen. >> of all the ethical issues the group raised, the most troubling

was how to handle computers and new social media like facebook. >> we've had five or six kids sitting in our living room, all on their computers and not interacting with each other. >> on weekends in the afternoon we don't allow any media, that's tv, computers, anything because we need to disconnect. >> i am petrified the day that she gets on facebook she's not using e-mail yet, but it's certainly going to be an issue and it's scary. >> it's third grade you're talking about? >> she's in fourth grade. >> i have every intention of reading e-mails. before she even has an account. if you're -- this account is going to be monitored. >> the power is there to change the world. on the other hand, can it be used for things that are not great? absolutely. kids having their sexual preference put up online and committing suicide and things like that. >> there is so much power and so much immediacy in the technology that a simple unethical decision put into the system can have consequences that it never could have had 30, 40, or 50 years ago. >> kidder argues that identifying and choosing what's

right always carries the need to act. he calls that moral courage, and one of the group gave an example. her daughter saw some kids picking on another child on the school bus. >> so she is a very quiet girl but she kind of stood up and said, hey, stop doing that, that's bullying, and i said "what happened?" she said "well, they didn't hear me so i had to do it again." [ laughter ] it made me very proud of her. >> after the group discussion, one of the couples tried out on their daughters the idea of the discussion of banning all electronic media on weekend afternoons. it did not sell. >> why? >> they want their kids to be connected with the family again. >> i feel really bad for those kids. >> i kind of like that idea. i thought maybe we should adopt something like that here. >> i don't understand. . i don't know. what would you do? >> and what about you? >> what do you think about that? >> no, it's not a good idea. >> whatever the resistance, kider looks at the power of new

technology and sees an urgent need to anticipate its effects and prevent the worst of them. indeed he wants to make his institute's top priority trying to create across the u.s. what he calls a culture of integrity. >> i think our ethics is climbing. i think maybe the curve is sort of going up like that. i think our technology is going up like this, and unless we can insure that there is a moral compass behind our uses of the new technologies we run the risk of putting ourselves in grave danger. will people look back at us today and say "you discovered the digital age and you frittered away the whole thing on twitter, on facebook" and those sorts of things. what on earth were you thinking? the day after thanksgiving,

in philadelphia, a new museum opens -- the national museum of american jewish history. from the first jewish settlement, in the 1600's, to today, the exhibit tells the story of the jew's search for freedom, for themselves and for others. we got a preview from josh perelman, deputy director of the museum and curator of the exhibit. >> the primary theme of this institution is freedom and the opportunities, the challenges, the choices that come with that. here we really have the opportunity at the place where freedom was enshrined in this country. this museum sits across the street from the liberty bell, up the street from independence hall and the constitution center. it's largely a chronological core exhibition that begins in 1654 with the first permanent settlement of jews in what was then colonial america and weaves its story up until really the present day.

the first jews who came to this nation came in search of freedom, came in search for opportunity. when washington was elected president, jewish communities around the nation sent him letters of congratulations, and they did so along with other religious communities around the country. washington replied to a number of those letters, but the most famous reply was to the touro synagogue in newport, rhode island, stating that the government of the united states would give "to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance," thereby enshrining in that letter, really, the principle that this would be a country to which all religions, all peoples would have the opportunity to live in freedom. freedom, while a revolutionary ideal, has been imperfect in its application.

this has been a nation where there has been anti-semitism, and jews have had to wrestle, overcome, and challenge it. the exhibition includes the story of leo frank, the only jew known to have been lynched in america. leo frank was wrongly accused of raping and murdering a young girl in atlanta. his story is emblematic of the struggles jews have faced on their pathway to integration. at the same time freedom makes possible the potential for integration at a level that jews had experienced at very few times in their history, it also makes possible the ultimate choice, which is to not be jewish, and in some ways this is one of the inner dramas of the american jewish experience. it's negotiating between heritage and homeland. the ingenuity of jews in america has led to all sorts of amazing achievements in the sciences, in culture certainly. irving berlin's story is really remarkable in that here he is,

this jewish immigrant from russia who wrote "god bless america," who wrote "white christmas." one item that visitors will love to see is the typewriter from "schindler's list," which mr. spielberg made available to the museum for exhibition. and certainly one of the most colorful groups are jewish gangsters, jewish criminals. i think one of the important roles jews have played in the history of this nation is that jews have been advocates for civil rights, civil liberties, for the extension of freedom not only to themselves, but to others as well. whether it's abraham joshua heschel in the civil rights movement or bella abzug in the women's movement, or the many people who came together for the movement for soviet jewry, here they are staking their claim to freedom and working tirelessly, energetically on behalf of the

freedoms of others. this weekend before thanksgiving, we have a profile of a man who teaches the importance of gratitude at all times, in all traditions. he is the benedictine monk, mystic, writer and teacher david steindl-rast. brother david, as he is known, was born in austria. he has written many books. his latest is "deeper than words," an interpretation of the apostle's creed. through them and his website, brother david has become a world-wide teacher of both christian spirituality and of the common spiritual experience he says everyone knows. our reporter is kate olson. >> reporter: on a recent saturday morning at the first congregational church in berkeley, california, church members and neighbors gathered to hear brother david talk about living "a spirited life." ♪ viva, viva la musica >> reporter: for brother david, it is grateful living that makes

everything come alive. >> the practice of gratefulness that i'm concerned with is grateful living. that means every moment of your life you practice gratefulness. you practice awareness that everything is gift, everything is gratuitous, and if it's all given, gratuitously given, then the only appropriate response is gratefulness what we really want is joy. we don't want things. we don't want to accumulate things. we forget that, and so gratefulness can help us see that, can help us realize that. >> reporter: though brother david acknowledges there are many things for which we cannot be grateful, he encourages people to be open to the opportunity being given in every situation. >> we cannot be grateful for war.

that's an unmitigated evil. we cannot be grateful for exploitation, for untimely death. but we can be grateful in every situation. the key word is "opportunity." if you catch onto that, then if we are in practice, when something comes along for which we cannot be grateful, spontaneously, we will. our mind will say, "well, what's this the opportunity for now?" and there's always an opportunity for something positive, usually the opportunity to learn something new, even in the worst situations, or for the opportunity to do something. if we learn of an injustice we have the opportunity to stand up and to speak up and to do something. >> reporter: during the day, people reflected on moments of epiphany in their lives -- what brother david calls mystic or peak experiences, which often include an experience of profound gratitude. >> the mystic is not a special kind of human being, but every

human being is a special kind of mystic. we all have mystic experiences, and in these peak moments, in these peak experiences, all of us have this experience of being one with all. those are the moments in which we feel most alive, most truly ourselves. >> reporter: grateful living is something you can practice moment by moment in your daily life, he says, and like other spiritual practices, such as zen meditation, its goal is to live in the present moment, to see everything as word of god. >> "word" is not just vocabulary, but "word" is everything that speaks to us, and in this sense a flower can be a word that speaks to me. a poem as a whole can be a word that speaks to me, a piece of art, everything. it speaks to me. it tells me something, it tells

me something about ultimate reality. that's a mystic insight that every human being can appreciate, i think, and experience, if we only allow ourselves. >> reporter: cultivating this aliveness in life is central to brother david's vocation as a monk and to his message. born in austria, he immigrated to the us in 1952 and joined mount savior monastery in elmira, new york. ♪ alleluia >> reporter: for decades, he has lived part of his life as a hermit, in prayer and contemplation and writing books. the other half he travels the globe lecturing and leading retreats, helping people discover this "aliveness" in their own lives. finding the deeply shared personal experience is at the heart of brother david's work in

interreligious dialogue. >> always checking it back with your own experience, always checking it back against your basic faith -- >> reporter: a pioneer in the christian-buddhist dialogue, he returns frequently to tassajara, a zen monastery in california where he lived for several years. as part of the dialogue with buddhism, brother david trained in zen meditation and joined in buddhist rituals. he says the task of interreligious dialogue today is to understand the meaning beneath the words of particular creeds or beliefs, to discover the faith that underlies these words that we all share. >> deep down, there is only one faith that all human beings have, and that is that deep trust in life. even our body expresses that trust in life by always taking another breath. we can't even stop it. we can't stop breathing. so that deep trust in life -- that is what all humans share, and that expresses itself, then, in a buddhist way, in a christian way, and even in ways

that we don't recognize as explicitly religious. many atheists have a deep faith. they all have that deep faith, but they express it very differently. >> reporter: beliefs are not faith, he says. faith is deep trust, and the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear. >> the one most frequently repeated command in the bible is not "love your neighbor," but "fear not." and if there is one thing that we need in our world, if there's one thing that we should write on our mirror and see every morning when we look into the mirror, it's "fear not." if we went into the day with that command deeply tattooed on our heart, "fear not," we'd be completely different people and create a completely different world -- a world of faith. >> reporter: this deep trust in

life is at the heart of what he sees as "the round dance of grateful living." >> so we participate in this tremendous dance in which the gift comes forth from the source and through thanksgiving returns to the source, where the word comes out of the silence and through understanding returns to the silence. gratefulness is not just saying "thank you." it's acting. it is being yourself. a mother is grateful, shows gratefulness by mothering, a scientist by doing science. that is what the bible calls "in god we live and move and have our being." ♪ viva, viva la musica >> reporter: for religion & ethics newsweekly, this is kate olson reporting from san

francisco. among the things we are grateful for this weekend is thanksgiving itself. may all of us have a safe and happy day. that's our program for now. i'm bob abernethy. there's much more on our web site, including a link to brother david steindl- rast's web site on gratefulness and more of kate olson's interview with him. you can comment on all of our stories and share them. audio and video podcasts are also available. you can follow us on facebook and twitter and watch us on smart phones and iphones. to find out more, join us at pbs.org.