tavis: good evening. from los angeles, i am tavis smiley.a conversation with shohreh aghdashloo. she has written a memoir about her journey from tehran to hollywood. we will get her thoughts tonight on the country she once fled. we are glad you have joined us. ♪

>> and by contributions to your pbs stations by viewers like you. thank you. tavis: shohreh aghdashloo fled , settling in the uk before moving to l.a.. she continued acting. and oscar nominee and an emmy winner. she has written her first text,

"the alley of love and yellow jasmines." always anhonor -- honor to have you on this program. there is so much i want to talk to you about. specifically the elections in iran. i want to start with something your father once said to you. . think it is a good linchpin >> success can only be achieved beyond fear. >> you are a mind reader, to. >> i think about it every single day. i know more about this than before. i read the book by one of my .avorite gurus he once wrote about fear. he is explaining what fear can be. fear does not mean anything unless it is the fear of the

unknown. how could you be fearful of something you have no idea of? he added to what my father told me. do not be afraid. success can only be achieved when you overcome the fear. tavis: he for you read the powerful text they gave you the framework -- before you read the powerful text that gave you the framework, what fears did you have to overcome? i was having these horrible .heumatic fevers it started when i was 12 years old. i had to deal with it until i was 16. i had to go to hospital. , dying at such a young age, taught me so much. what if i am not here anymore?

what if i do not exist? what am i going to do with my time while i am here on this earth? could not go to school for a while, i had to stay home, i was thinking i would not be properly educated. the fear of not being properly educated or being illiterate, all of those fears were killing me. and then my father came in and said, do not be afraid, my child. success can only be achieved beyond fear. tavis: i have come to believe that we are who we are because somebody loved us. we are who we are because somebody loved us. it is clear your parents played a major role in your life. >> my parents were such loving parents. they were very young, my father

was 24 and my mother was 20 when they married. i was their first child. you can imagine all of their love. they were spending so much time with me. ourrother keeps saying, parents never spent as much time with me. i told him i was the first child and i was loved and praised all the time. my mother told me she used to hug me and take me to the mirror and watch me in the mirror and think, thank god we are having a daughter. that is amazing. tavis: i am not surprised your mother felt that way. that yoururprised father felt that way about you. but you well know that the

, patriarchy, world sexism are very real and women children are not always as door -- adored and as loved as boy babies. that did not happen to you. is much of the love you got what made all of this possible? >> my family was pretty modern into garrison to -- in comparison of the families of the time. and sore so young , i cannot so loving remember it vividly, but i can feel it every time i close my eyes. let me tell you a secret. the middle eastern society seems

.o be patriarchal underneath, it is matriarchal. it is the women who make the decisions. tavis: i will not argue with you there. asknything happens, amongst the woman and you will find your person. they were modern as well. they did not care as much about having a boy or a girl. it was my grandmother who did not give any gift to my mother when she gave birth to me. to myy mother gave birth brother, my grandmother gave her rubies. tavis: that tends to happen in that region of the world. today of howsense

matriarchal that society is as we speak. >> it is still pretty matriarchal. we do not see it on the surface because we are dealing with the religious government, which sends women home and pretense it has made all decisions. tavis: remind me how old you were when you left iran. >> 26. the fears you had to navigate as a child, even your illness, and the fear of being pushed out of your own country. i do not want to compare fear, but give me some sort of contrast between the fear of being forced out of your own country. is blessed with positivism. all i had in mind was to get

out of iran and get myself .ducated and go to london my mother used to take me there. get myself educated. learn english properly. i could have spoken english, but it was not proper. all i had in mind was positive, positive, positive, living in a democratic society. study. i could not even think one second about ramifications or consequences if i left iran. they were all positive. i remember a dear friend of mine, who unfortunately later on emitted suicide, when we were leaving, he said, you are so positive. what if you cannot find a job?

i could anticipated, the sort of commitment, the religious tyranny, the religious government. i did not want to live with that. my expectations were a lot higher. tavis: you have said this three times already. why was education so important to you? >> my father, i loved my father. he did not want to become an actress. back then, becoming an actress was frowned upon by good families. i turned myself into an actress. he always wanted me to have a higher education. he was about to send me to germany to become a doctor.

i wanted to follow my father's wish for me. he was right. always kept telling me that in this world, a young lady will get -- we'll need to get herself educated. the magnetice how pole of the arts through you -- ull of the arts drew you. tell me more about that. >> i was born in actress. since i was four or five years old, after a while, it it turned

, nice for my parents and family. ,very time we got together friends and family members, ask her to come in and show us how uncle behaves. i did it a couple of times and they loved it. when my mother told me, your uncle does not want you to do this anymore, and i said, that means i have done a good job. i still remember that. i was born in actress. they could not understand it. .specially my father

he passed away a couple of years ago. they could not understand it. , doctor,brothers and i engineer, doctor, engineer. sheep ofr the black the family. still thirsty for your father's love? >> i was always trying to make him happy. turning myself into an actress, i knew he was not happy with it. i am still carrying this guilt, .ike the guilt when i left iran when you feel when you leave the towering inferno or a country in --moil, the inner guilt

beautifully he has talked about this. ok, live your own life. why do you even bother? tavis: what you are saying raises two different questions. , why all of these years still this sense of guilt? you left because there was a repressive regime. whatever good you could have done at that time, the regime was shutting people down, shutting down expression, shutting down those kinds of voices, shutting down those kinds of demonstrations. you left because you could not have a voice. that was 1979. >> everyone i hear someone has

, whichrtured or killed happened during the last uprising in iran. how many young men and women lost their lives? how many students were tortured to death? ?ow many came back every time i hear these things, i feel sorry for them and i feel the guilt. i am living in this dutiful democratic society. -- beautiful democratic society. tavis: with regard to your become anu did not actress, you became a really good actress, and ask the emmy- winning and academy award nominated and celebrated in this country and beyond. help me understand the guilt. there are people watching this program who cannot seem to divorce themselves from the

guilt they feel, even if they have been successful at their vocation, they're calling. help me understand the guilt you feel about choosing to be an actress. i did not use my father's family name. i chose my first husband's family name and i stood by it. even after i divorced him and we are still dear friends. he is a painter. he once told me -- i chose his name. right at the oscars, when my father came over, he looked at me and said, why do you still have to use that name? i felt so sorry. but you when i started,

sent me back to the workshop. do you remember? , i do remember, and that is fine. is the academy awards. i want my name on the statue. -- thatee allergy reality always fascinated me. we have something in our lives that we feel guilty about. how does a girl who adores her father get over that guilt? are you going to die feeling guilty? >> you keep working and do better and better and make

, even ift is happy they are not with you anymore. remember the lion king? that is one of my favorites ever. simba says, father, you are going to die. he asks them to look in the water and see the stars and says, look at the stars image, the image in the water. i will always be here in your head. he is right here, always. no matter what, when i wake up, i want to please him first. do not do anything that he would be embarrassed. be the girl i promised him i would be. the familyand keep name away from it and try to do

the right thing. tavis: only on pbs, philosophy brought to you from the lion king. i love it, that is a great scene. love theitch now -- i cover of this book. i love the cover, i love the title. tell me about this photo. this title.t >> thank you so much. the photo was taken by one of the most prominent photographers. i had to fight for it. tavis: the book company did not want it? i amam not a politician not condoleezza rice. i am an actor. there should be some movement in the picture. tavis: i am glad you convince them. the title, "the alley of love

and yellow jasmines." to close mye asked eyes and tell the interviewer what is it that i miss the most about iran. the first thing that came to my .ind were these love alleys the generation before called them the truth alleys. they are so teeny tiny and only two people can go through. poetry toion recited their friends and those alleys. in the spring, the walls are filled with yellow jasmines. the scent stays in your nostrils forever. when i started writing my book, i thought that would be a great gesture. there are some wondering

if there is a new sent out of iran that we are smelling stateside that suggests that there might be a new day, might be a new relationship, given the recent elections and the statements made about repairing this breach between this relationship. i am paraphrasing. what is the sense of what we can or should or should not expect? not because of this president, but because of the timing. it is about time for us to? he is supposed to be a moderate man, you he is familiar with western culture. a dear friendbe of the supreme leader of iran.

what we are hoping for, having this relationship with the supreme leader, being exposed to western culture, will help them to make better decisions regarding a rainy and -- iranians and iranian politics. at the end of the day, the problem is still there. the dilemma is that many innians who have been living democratic societies do not want a religious tyranny for iran anymore. not even a religious government. we are asking for a secular government. we are asking for a president who will come from the people, serve the people. not necessarily to go to the supreme leader and act accordingly.

tavis: what is your sense of what can be done? to make iran a better place? -- shedding light on the injustices. .he more information one of the reasons i wrote this have thisranians habit of gathering together and having so many events taking place. have not done a lot to inform the host society. telling themple, what is going on behind the curtains. surface.for at the same time, ask for transparency from the and remember that we

are all living in a small village. it is called the global village. we hear everything that happens far away from us. obviously, talking to one person is like talking to a thousand percent. the more we can let -- to a thousand persons. how we can come up with remedies for serious illnesses, that would help a lot. i do understand many countries would like to have their own relationships, like they had in the past. i wish it would be conditional reconciliation. will see what happens

in the coming days and weeks and months and years now that there is a new leader. for now, we celebrate the life and ongoing legacy of a fine thespian named shohreh aghdashloo. the name of the new text is called "the alley of love and yellow jasmines." -- i am always delighted to have you. >> likewise. tavis: that is our show for tonight. thank you for watching. as always, keep the faith. >> for more information on today's show, visit tavis smiley at pbs.org. tavis: hi, i'm tavis smiley. join me next timefor a conversation with val kilmer. that is next time, we will see

you then. ♪ ♪ it's a beautiful day ♪ ♪ >> and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. >> be more. pbs.