>> a beautiful evening. weathercaster, too. >> a gorgeous weekend coming up. clare skies, 50 tomorrow morning, 71 in the afternoon. 40's by sunday morning and perfect for flip all in the afternoon. a couple of sprinkles on monday on that two nice weather on tuesday. >> was someone just calling you? >> i am unfamiliar with that strange sound. captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--

@6 >> announcer: it's "the tonight show with jay leno," featuring rickey minor and "the tonight show" band. tonight, jay welcomes from "new girl," zooey deschanel.

from "the expendables," terry crews. the music of orquesta buena vista social club. an"photo booth." and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: thank you! welcome to "the tonight show," folks!

[ cheers and applause ] and happy friday the 13th! [ cheers and applause ] listen to this. today, of course, friday the 13th and over in finland, the airline, finnair, today had a a flight. flight number 666, going to helsinki. [ light laughter ] which has the three letter designation, "hel." [ light laughter ] so on your ticket it says, "friday the 13th, flight 666, going to hel." [ laughter ] if that's now bad enough, the in flight movie, "rosemary's baby." okay, even scarier, there's a a layover in newark! [ screams ] [ laughter ] well, this is kinda scary. fresh satellite images now show white steam coming from a a reactor building in north korea. experts think this means this country is either this country is either getting ready to re-start their nuclear program. or they elected a new pope. i don't know which one it is. [ light laughter ] so, it is one of those. [ cheers and applause ] hey, can you tell i've lost

some weight? i am on that new obama diet. every day at i let vladimir putin eat my lunch. [ light laughter ] yeah, that's how it works. that's how it works. well, did you see this in the paper? russian president, vladimir putin wrote an op-ed piece in "the new york times" where he took some pot shots at president obama. he is now using american media to criticize the president. and after reading it today, fox offered him his own show. [ laughter ] so i thought that was interesting. hey, i have been reading up on obama care because, you know, it kicks in october 1st. a lot of it does. here is something i didn't know. it now covers surgical strikes in syria. did you know that? [ light laughter ] i was not aware of that. well, "the new york post" had an article about anthony weiner today. i thought we'd heard the last of him, but no. now that he's lost the election, he plans to be a stay at home father, to his almost two-year-old son. and weiner told the press, "the little guy is the boss."

which is the same thing he said when he sent those pictures, so i don't know -- [ cheers and applause ] well, here in california, the state assembly has passed a a bill allowing illegal immigrants to receive driver's licenses. in addition to licenses, they'll be given phony proof of insurance. so that'll be good. [ light laughter ] you have the whole thing, the whole setup right there. and mercedes has unveiled a a self-driving car. yeah, the car drives itself. i am begging every member of the lohan family to get one of these. [ laughter ] okay, that should be good. as you may have heard, lindsay's mom, dina lohan arrested for drunk driving in long island, new york last night. police said her blood alcohol more than twice the legal limit. but to be fair, that's still under the lohan limit. [ laughter ] so you got to be fair.

well, i saw this story on the news today, this made me laugh. a utah dad came up with an unusual way to teach his daughter a lesson for dressing too provocatively. she's wearing those "daisy duke" things. look at the dad. here's the story. >> one utah dad is not happy with his daughter's choice of skimpy clothing. so, he cut off an old pair of jeans, and made his own "daisy dukes." and to teach his daughter a a lesson, he wore them on a a family outing just to embarrass her. and he is not the only one dad to shame his daughter into dressing more modestly. here is billy ray cyrus doing it, o. [ laughter ] >> jay: doing the same thing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and today, amc announced a a "breaking bad" spinoff starring the jacksonville jaguars. it's called, "blocking bad, tackling bad, throwing bad, catching bad." and in a five-part series in "sports illustrated," that has rocked collegiate football -- they claim that oklahoma state football players were paid money, got special treatment

and received sexual favors. sexual favors. so at least this story has a a happy ending. [ laughter ] at least it has a happy ending, yeah, yeah. [ applause ] well, this is what it said. you got to read this, unbelievable. they said members of the all-female booster club would sometimes have sex with the players during the campus visits to give them the impression they would be having sex at the school all the time. that was for the football players. the math majors, they got a a "maxim" magazine and a wet nap. [ light laughter ] it wasn't quite the same. wasn't quite the same. and up in canada, a churchill, manitoba man, attacked by a a polar bear. he scared it off with his cell phone. scared off a polar bear with his cell phone. apparently, the bear got frightened when he saw the two-year contract. [ laughter ] oh no, horrible. well, this week apple introduced a new iphone, the iphone 5s. and the phone comes with this

new feature, fingerprint scanner. the phone can be unlocked by a a person pressing their fingerprint right against it. you know forget -- how about an ass scanner? no, no, no. so when you sit down and butt dial somebody, the phone knows it is really you and cancels the call. [ light laughter ] -- that way, yeah, yeah. exactly. [ cheers and applause ] your ass can stop you from making an ass of yourself. [ light laughter ] well, wildlife officials in florida announce that there's a a pack of herpes-infected monkeys on the loose. [ audience gasps ] and they think they know how the monkeys got the std. can you show that photo? [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] and a canadian woman arrested at the airport in bogota, colombia after trying to smuggle five pounds of cocaine out of the country in a fake baby bump. claimed to be pregnant. had five pounds of cocaine. she got tripped up when airport security asked her, "how far

along are you?" and she said, "about two kilos." [ light laughter ] and they were like, "hey, wait a minute." [ light laughter ] hey, good news for one of the village people. the policeman from the village people. remember that guy that played the cop? 35 years after writing his most famous song, he's finally gonna get paid his royalties. he can finally move out of the ymca. [ light laughter ] that's what he said. [ applause ] he said, "it's not fun to stay at the ymca." ♪ ♪ ymca oh, and congratulations, remember the cowboy? from the village people? he announced plans to marry his long-time boyfriend. you know where they met? ♪ in the navy! ♪ in the navy you can sail the seven seas in the navy ♪ [ laughter ] >> jay: thank you, thanks a a lot. well, the word is lamar odom is upset with the kardashian family. is now threatening to spill kardashian family secrets. [ audience gasps ] in fact, he is already hinting that bruce jenner may have had some work done. [ laughter ]

and a federal judge ruled this week that strippers in a a mid-town manhattan strip club are protected by labor laws. are entitled to be paid at least minimum wage. let me tell you something, okay? if you're a stripper, and you're only making minimum wage, you might want to think about another job. [ laughter ] or maybe get implants. okay, one or the other. hey, we'll be right back with "photo booth" and zooey deschanel! say hello to rickey minor and "the tonight show" band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ um... where's mrs. davis? she took an early spring break thanks to her double miles from the capital one venture card. now what was mrs. davis teaching? spelling. that's not a subject, right? i mean, spell check. that's a program. algebra. okay. persons a and b are flying to the bahamas. how fast will they get there?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: yes! welcome back. it's friday night, we've got a a terrific show for you. tonight, from the tv show "new girl," the lovely and charming zooey deschanel is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] and a very funny actor, you all know him from his old spice commercials, now starring with andy sandberg in a new show on fox, kicks off next week. terry crews will join us!

[ cheers and applause ] and later, music from orquesta buena vista social club. yes! [ cheers and applause ] very nice. and coming next week -- more big guests next week, neil patrick harris, christina aguillera, chris hemsworth, and jimmy fallon will all be here. now folks, we recently set up our phony photo booth at universal studios hollywood. let's meet the voice of the photo booth, kira soltanovich. kira, come on out here! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello, hello. >> jay: now, tell the folks how this works. >> well, you know have our photo booth, right? and we have our hidden cameras in there. we rig it with some microphones. and then i make people do crazy, absurd things for photos. and this time jay, we had international people from new zealand, from mother russia, and as far away as canadia. [ laughter ] >> jay: wow, canadia? >> yeah, canadia. >> jay: i see you travel a lot. yeah, okay. wow, with such an international crowd. how are you able to communicate with all these people? >> i use universal language of

bossiness. [ laughter ] >> jay: bossiness, let's take a a look. >> yes, very bossy. ♪ >> welcome to the universal studios photo booth. where are you from? >> england. is there someone in here? [ laughter ] >> can you sing, sir? >> yes. >> oh, i'm so glad to hear that. because that would be a waste of a perfectly good one direction haircut. >> please remove your sunglasses now. >> why? >> because i need to scan your eyes. >> oh. >> thank you. please open your eyes wide and lean forward toward the camera so i may scan them. beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

ma'am -- >> [ burps ] [ laughter ] >> woah, was that a burp? [ laughter ] >> step inside the booth for your free photos. are you chewing gum inside my photo booth? [ laughter ] that is not allowed, young man. please take it out, and put it on the tip of your nose now. [ laughter ] thank you. >> what the hell, man. you're just embarrassing me. [ laughter ] >> you embarrassed yourself, young man, by chewing gum the size of your fist. how old are you? [ laughter ] >> i'm 13. do you want a fight? >> you put the gum back on your nose. [ laughter ] you will respect adults. in fact, put it over your mouth. [ laughter and applause ] >> free photos. where are you from?

>> russia. >> are you traveling by yourself? >> yes. >> and are you staying safe? >> yes. >> here at the universal studios photo booth, we offer free martial arts courses. would you like to take one? >> well, maybe. >> wonderful! [ laughter ] please put this on for your first class. [ laughter ] wonderful. are you ready to begin your first martial arts class? >> yes. >> put your hands up. >> okay. >> okay, and you go, "nyet means nyet!" >> nyet means nyet! [ laughter ] >> and punch! and then, "don't touch my red square." >> don't touch my red square! [ laughter ] >> and then punch, and say "i'm putin you in the hospital." [ laughter ] >> i'm putin you in the hospital. [ laughter and applause ] >> is this your first time in the photo booth? >> yes. >> wonderful. i need to register you now. please give me the last four

numbers on your admission ticket now to receive your free photo. please give me the last four numbers on your admission ticket now to receive your free photo. please, give me the last four numbers. >> 9609. >> 9609, is that correct? >> yes. >> what about yours, give me the last four numbers on your admission ticket. >> 9411. >> 9411, is that correct? >> yes. >> wonderful. processing now. beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep bing! congratulations, you've won free photos, standing up. please stand up now! [ laughter ] you've won free photos with your head between your knees! please do so now! [ laughter and applause ] >> free photos. welcome.

please remove all glasses now. thank you. what part of remove all glasses don't you understand? [ laughter ] >> [ speaking foreign language ] >> what language are you speaking? >> swiss german. >> swiss german. mmmm, sounds like a delicious coffee. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i don't know where to look. because i think your head is somewhere over there. >> you don't know because you guys are a little high. [ laughter ] >> high? no we're not high, we was high. we're getting high for later, not now. [ laughter and applause ] >> so let me get this straight. you were high earlier and you're getting high later, but right now you're not high. >> yes. so this is what you're like when you're not high. >> yes.

[ laughter and applause ] >> free photos. welcome to the universal studios photo booth. where are you from? >> from moscow. >> from moscow. [ speaking in a foreign language ] >> now kiss. [ laughter ] >> you kiss? >> no, each other. [ laughter ] come on, you can do it in this country. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> all right, be back with zooey deschanel! kira, thank you very much. happy birthday! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ beep ] [ drumming ]

♪ ♪ ♪ it's go time. ♪ [ van damme ] it's go time. godaddy.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all righty. my first guest is the emmy-nominated star of the hit series "new girl." season three kicks off next tuesday on fox. she's also a talented musician.

whose band's latest album is called volume three. please welcome zooey deschanel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: i like the whole kind of prom thing. it is cool. >> thank you. aren't we going to prom? >> jay: we are going tomorrow. now, people say going to prom. when i was a kid, it was going to the prom. somehow it became prom. >> well, i guess it needs no introduction. >> jay: yeah, that's probably it. now she & him this is terrific. a lot of people don't know you're a terrific musician. you've been here many times as a singer as well. >> yes. i've actually -- yeah. i've been here a lot as a a musician. >> jay: now, you were just on tour all summer. >> yes. >> jay: so tell me about that. how long was the tour, was it fun? >> yeah, it was really fun. it was a short tour. our last album cycle tour was about a year.

so i only had, you know, a few months off from "new girl." so we toured about five weeks and it was really fun. >> jay: you're on a bus? >> we were on a bus. yeah, around the united states of america. also canada, yes. >> jay: canada. >> so it was really great. >> jay: any road stories? bus touring is interesting. >> yeah, it is. it's really fun. we had two buses. so we had like a pretty big band and crew, so we had two buses. i actually got a concussion one night. i concussed myself. >> jay: concussed yourself? [ light laughter ] how do you do that? >> unfortunately it wasn't having fun. i got up to change the air conditioner very early in the morning and didn't have my glasses on. and i got up on my tippy toes to try to see, and the bus went over a bump, and i fell backwards and hit the back of

my head. >> jay: oh. >> i know, it was terrible. and i woke up, all i remember was getting out of bed, next thing i knew, i was on the ground, mid scream. everyone was looking at me. everybody from the bus. you know, you have like, 12 people on the bus and they're all like, "what happened?" [ light laughter ] and it was embarrassing. normally if i were to fall in real life. if i were to trip on the stairs or something, i would like catch myself and be like, "i'm cool, i'm cool." and be crying and screaming inside but wouldn't do it on the outside. i was crying and screaming when i woke up. >> jay: but you said you were in mid scream. >> i was like, "ah, help me." i was saying, "help me, help me." >> jay: at the same time. >> yeah, at the same time, while i was asleep. >> jay: and it sounded like bus members were stoned. you said they went, "what happened?" [ laughter ] sounds like maybe they were a

a little high. >> i was in an altered state, considering i just, you know, hit my head. >> jay: i know a your concerts you have a whole, as all shows do, but this anti-cell phone thing. it's pretty annoying? >> the cell phones? yeah. you know, from the first tour cycle to the second. from 2008 to 2010, i saw a huge difference in how many people were watching the show through a screen on the phone. and it was kind of a little bit -- i felt like it might be annoying for people going to see the show. i know when i go to see a a concert, i kind of want to see the show, not someone's ipad. >> jay: if you were talking to me like this. [ applause ] >> yes, thank you. i am like i'm sorry, i am not that tall, i can't see over your ipad. anyway, so we kind of put out signs and said we request that you don't take pictures and video.

and it was interesting because a lot of people really appreciated it, and other people all sort of misinterpreted it. like selfish, i was like, "ah, i can't be photographed." i'm literally photographed everyday of my life. >> jay: i am amazed you have people don't even realize. i was in a movie theater, my wife and i, the guy in front is talking on the phone. and i go, "shh. "hey,i am on the phone." didn't occur you're in a place where you don't talk on the phone. >> it's crazy. 'cause when you go to see a a broadway show or something, no one is allowed to take pictures or flash photography. they'll say, you know, "the performers might fall or something." >> jay: i was in vegas this week. guy right there and it doesn't ring any more. they play a song. it goes -- [ makes noises ] finally i said, "sir, just answer the phone." he said, "i don't want to disrupt the show." i am like, "well, your phone is ringing." >> shut it off. >> jay: just shut off the phone.

how are your dogs doing? >> they're great. >> jay: do they travel with you? >> they didn't come on tour with me, but we played the hollywood bowl, they came and guarded my door. >> jay: they really don't look like guard dogs. show the photo. yeah, i'm not sure i would be frightened off. [ audience aws ] >> they think they're guard dogs. well, the small one is the one that thinks he is the guard dog, she is eight pounds. >> jay: they're rescue dogs? >> yes. >> jay: because i came from back east and we went to the animal shelter. or sometimes the animal orphanage. people said, i got a rescue dog, i thought they pulled them out of a well. [ zooey barks ] or they're in a fire, "help me!" something, yeah. never heard that. not like you rescued the dog, screaming for help then you ran in and found them. >> yeah. i mean, it is just a turn of phrase. yeah. i got them from a foundation that rescues dogs from shelters. >> jay: now you write your own songs which i like. i like your kind of music. old folky from new england. you had emmy lou harris opening

for you a couple of nights ago. >> yeah, we had -- >> jay: and she's really cool. >> yeah, she's great. she was with us in berkeley and in l.a. >> jay: what was the first song that you ever wrote? >> the first song. well, the first really polished song i wrote when i was nine was called, "i'm having fun at the fair." >> jay: "i'm having fun at the fair." >> and you'd think it was inspired by a visit to the fair, but it wasn't. >> jay: it wasn't. >> no, it was just because i was playing the piano i said this sounds like a merry go round. >> jay: oh i see. do you remember the lyrics? you were nine. >> i do, but they're very generic, not particularly great. >> jay: you're nine. >> they did rhyme. i'm having fun at the fair. i'm certain that you will be there. so those are the opening lines. >> jay: sounds like a hallmark card. [ cheers and applause ] i'm having fun at the fair. i'm sure glad you're there. all right. and we'll take a break.

more with zooey right after this. be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ don't make me call chauncey. man, call chauncey. chauncey can't lather like this, man. you can't, either. look, you just jealous because i got a legend in my chair. barry sanders. this man ran for 99 career touchdowns. 99. and then you just disappeared from the game. why? well, guys, the real reason i retired is because i -- [ crash ] [ male announcer ] uncap pepsi max to unlock a legend like barry sanders in madden nfl 25. ♪ nah, dawg. we closed now. mm. yeah. [ female announcer ] clear. feeds your scalp so it can be the right foundation for strong, beautiful hair. take the clear 7 day scalp and hair challenge. for stronger, more beautiful hair. [ female announcer ] ...or your money back. ♪ [ female announcer ] ...or your money back. there are cameras,, police, guards...ds us. but who looks after us online, where we spend more than 200 billion dollars a year.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: welcome back. talking to zooey deschanel. she was asking me during the break what i do with my summers. i am here all summer. what did you do as a kid? were you a big family vacation type family? >> i went to summer camp every year in upstate new york. >> jay: but you grew up here? >> i did. well, when i was 9 i got a a brochure for this theater camp in new york, and i became obsessed with going there and

convinced my parents to let me get on a plane to newark, new jersey. >> jay: by yourself. >> by myself. be met by a group of strangers who put me in a van and drove me to the catskills. >> jay: were you blindfolded in the van? [ laughter ] >> no, but it was like, it was a big adventure coming from here. but i went there six years. and it was fun. yeah. >> jay: did your parents check out the camp? >> well, the brochure was very detailed. [ light laughter ] >> jay: wow. >> i was very independent. >> yeah, so you were a pretty fearless kid. >> pretty fearless. >> jay: yeah, yeah. so how old were you when you got your own place, nine? you moved out? [ light laughter ] >> well, no. i actually was about 21 when i got my first place. >> jay: really? >> but, i apparently, was independent but not fearless. because, i believe it was haunted. >> jay: the apartment was haunted. >> yeah. so, i -- >> jay: based on what?

>> and it was in la so i would just go there during the days and then go to my parents house and sleep there at night. [ light laughter ] >> jay: so you would go to your apartment during the day? >> yeah. >> jay: okay. >> yeah, so it was a great day apartment. >> jay: great day apartment. okay. >> wonderful day apartment. >> jay: but nightfall comes and you leave. >> -- had a day bed, had a day couch, had a day tv. day kitchen. >> jay: now you did that show, "who do you think you are?" where they check your lineage and you find out you're related to king george. what did you find out about yourself? >> well, i found out interesting things. so my four times great grandmother was -- well, i knew my whole family on that side was quaker. >> jay: okay. and the quakers are abolitionists. >> jay: they were, sure, sure. >> still are very, you know. still are, there's slavery in the world all over, globally. >> jay: slowed down a bit here. >> totally slowed down here. >> jay: it is a big problem with young girls and this kind of thing. >> exactly.

so but my four times great grandmother was in the underground railroad. >> jay: really? >> yeah. her and her whole family were helping smuggle people out of maryland and into pennsylvania for freedom. >> jay: all right. that's pretty cool. that's neat. [ applause ] >> so, i was pretty proud of that. yes. >> jay: was there any way you went uh-oh? were you scared to do it, first of all, to find out -- >> no, you know, i really was surprised by the direction they went. i thought that they were going to -- i knew i had an ancestor on the mayflower. and i was like, "well you can't get much more interesting than that." i guess i didn't know that my ancestors were involved in the underground railroad because that's like incredible. also a lot of that stuff has been buried, they had a great document trail. it was a pretty exciting story. yeah. >> jay: like when you buy a a dog, the mother is always lassie, the father is always rin tin tin, they give you all of that. that's very cool. now you tweeted this photo. what's going on here? looks like --

>> that was just, you know, that's a little preview of what's to come in season three. >> jay: oh, okay. so this is for the show. >> yeah. i have a blue face on the show now. [ light laughter ] >> jay: now season twenty -- twenty-three -- the third season starts where the other one left off. what happens. what else happens? >> so, basically nick and jess newly in a relationship, don't know what to do. don't know where to go. 'cause it seems sort of anti-climactic to go home, so they go to mexico. >> jay: okay. and nick gets in some trouble, so jess has to go back and get winston and schmidt to help her get him out of a mexican jail. >> jay: mexican jail. you would be the person i would go to to get help out of a a mexican jail. i will check that out. >> everybody does. >> jay: kicks off tuesday, right? on fox? >> yes, exactly. tuesday at nine. >> jay: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much. >> jay: -- be right back with terry crews right after this! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: all righty. you know my next guest, from his popular old spice commercials, and the hit movie franchise "the expendables." he can be seen with andy samberg in the new series "brooklyn nine-nine," which premiers next tuesday night on fox. please welcome, the always fun terry crews! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> oh! oh! yeah! >> jay: looks like james brown had a garage sale, i like that suit. [ laughter ] i like this, i used to open for james brown. and he used to have these kind of thin lapels. and he would come out just do that whole -- that was the same kind of suit he would wear. >> this is my old spice suit. >> jay: very cool. [ laughter ] >> it comes out like, "yaah!" [ laughter ] >> jay: very spicy, very spicy! hey, i gotta ask you. i know you played in the nfl. >> yes. >> jay: football season, exciting. do you feel a little bit of -- "oh, i'm not in there." >> you know, i do. it's really bittersweet. 'cause i love the nfl and the whole thing. when i stopped playing, it was a seismic shift. my life, i went through a huge depression, it was crazy. i was literally staying up all night watching movies. eating hamburgers and cookies, sometimes cookies on my hamburgers. [ laughter ] and i gained like 30 pounds, of

just being depressed. you know -- [ sobbing ] "i'm not an athlete any more." i was like, "honey, what do i do." it was bad, i got proof. you got a picture of that? >> jay: look at that picture. >> look at that. look at that. i was -- >> jay: wait a minute, that's what i look like now! [ laughter ] >> no, i was so depressed. because this is the thing, when you are a man. all guys, wherever we were when we were hot and great, that's how we still think we are. >> jay: right, right. we still think we're there. great when you were five years old, then all of a sudden you're like, "i'm five all the time." so i'm literally in the mirror. this changed my life. this moment changed my life. i'm in the mirror. and my wife comes up behind me, and she pinches my back fat. and i'm like, what did you do? [ laughter ] what did you do? what is this? and the thing is i saw myself as this super he-man. i didn't realize that the fat was there. it blew me away, man. and let me tell you, changed my life, from that day forward i was in the gym.

i told myself go to the gym for 21 days straight. that turned into 15, 16 years. >> jay: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> crazy, man. you can change your life. [ applause ] >> jay: i ran into someone who shall remain nameless, i'm supposed to ask you about a a nickname. squeejoe? >> squeegee low. >> jay: squeegee low. what is squeegee low? >> squeegee low, was a a character that i created on the internet, online. just for my excuse to dance. because i am the world's best dancer, i love it. i love to dance. [ applause ] >> jay: this is not an anthony weiner thing online, this is a -- >> no, not at all. >> jay: you do the squeegee low. >> the squeegee low was with a a kid that grew up in the ghetto, who squeegeed cars and he danced for a living. but he grew up to be the world's biggest dancer. >> jay: really? can you give us a little -- >> you guys want to see a a little bit of squeegee? [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: wow, very good! >> wow! yes! [ cheers and applause ] i love that! i love to dance, you know what i'm talking about. >> jay: that was very good. that was very good. now, you're just back from bulgaria. what was going on there? >> oh, i just shot, "expendables 3." [ cheers and applause ] in bulgaria. but wait, wait, wait. it was, i almost -- i had a near death experience. near death experience. this is the truth, man. we were doing a stunt, and jason statham was driving the truck. so, we were supposed to be on the back of this truck. and for some reason, we're over there talking sipping smoothies. like, "yeah, yeah," you know. and he gets in the truck -- we're in varna, in bulgaria on the edge of the black sea, he literally -- he's supposed to stop the

truck, we get out, we shoot. the whole thing, the truck doesn't stop. the truck goes over the dock into the black sea with jason statham driving. >> jay: wow. >> now, in your mind, you have an action film, where you're like, "if that happens, i'm going to grab the truck, do all this stuff." i was like [ high pitch screaming ] "jason! [ laughter ] jason!" i'm in a heap on the ground. he's in the water in the truck! now, we are freaking out. everybody is screaming! i'm going -- [ sobbing ] [ laughter ] and literally he gets out, swims to the top and the truck is gone, truck is gone. we're supposed to be on back of that thing. i was supposed to be on that. all of a sudden he gets back. they dry his clothes, we're in bulgaria, there's no o.s.h.a. in bulgaria. so they're like "we're going to shoot again. we're going to shoot some more." i am like what? [ laughter ] let me tell you something, jason statham is a true bad, bad dude. [ applause ] bad. that's my boy. [ cheers and applause ] i couldn't believe how incredible that was.

>> jay: it seems to me jason statham had the near death experience. [ laughter ] what you did, was you watched a a near death experience! >> very true! [ laughter ] >> jay: you were eating a a smoothie! >> i was supposed -- >> jay: you did not have a near death experience! [ laughter and applause ] >> no! i was supposed to be on the truck, jay! >> jay: but you weren't, you were having a smoothie! you're like people that go, "you know that plane that crashed nine years ago? i took that flight last week." [ laughter ] no, you're not -- that's not the same thing! >> oh, damn. you're ruining my story, jay! [ laughter ] >> jay: now, tell me. you were also in africa. is that business or pleasure, what was that? >> it was a little bit of both. i was shooting a great new movie with adam sandler and drew barrymore. [ applause ] all in africa, and it was wonderful. i took my mother-in-law, my kids, my wife, whole thing. we went to safari, did everything. but the big deal is i realize everything in africa is trying to kill you, everything. [ laughter ] that's the whole point. i'm like look at that beautiful tree. they're like, "watch that,

those are deadly thorns." i'm like come on, man really? [ laughter ] look at the pretty stream. "watch the piranha!" i'm like, "dude!" [ laughter ] and you know what's so crazy, the lions are the same color as the brush. so you're just walking along, they're like, "there's a lion right there!" i'm like, "dammit!" [ laughter ] "i'm in the hotel. i'm in the hotel." >> jay: now, we have some pictures. there's a lion right behind you. you didn't see it, look at that. [ laughter ] >> you see that lion! this guy is feeding him chickens! he's throwing chickens so he takes his attention away from us. this is the thing, you will do things in africa that you would never do at home, ever! i would not go to the l.a. zoo and jump into the lion cage. i wouldn't do that. [ laughter ] but i am in africa! so there i am. they're like, "oh, no it's safe." i'm like, yeah yeah, the lion could have ate me. it was crazy. >> zooey: wait, i have a a question. that looks like a baby lion. >> no, no. [ laughter ] woah. [ laughter and applause ] you know what, zooey, look at that lion! it will rip your face off! >> zooey: it looks like a a little -- >> that's far away. >> zooey: -- kitty cat. [ laughter ] >> it was far away. >> jay: you see the guy in the ladder -- [ laughter ]

>> zooey: it looks cute to me. >> like my near death experience, zooey! >> zooey: you're adjacent to near death. >> jay: what kind of smoothie were you having then? [ laughter ] tell us about the new show, "brooklyn nine-nine." situation comedy? >> it's situation comedy. but it's really a workplace comedy. it's not a typical cop show. andy samberg, andre braugher, and we are basically cops in this precinct, and we're hanging out. its going to be good. think like, "the wire," with jokes. >> jay: like, "the wire" with jokes. [ laughter ] i can't even imagine that. >> that's why you should see it! >> jay: and you're also in, what? "cloudy with a chance of meatballs." >> "cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2." i play officer earl. my first big animated movie. i am so excited, i love animation. >> jay: animation's great. you don't have to shave. you just show up. >> it's lovely, it's lovely. >> jay: you have your smoothie while doing it. >> i almost died on that movie, did i tell you? [ laughter ] >> jay: you almost died in that one too? guy had an accident coming in, and --

>> guy was coming through with paint brushes, i was like "aaah!" >> jay: a near death experience. [ laughter ] that's the most lame-ass near death experience. [ laughter ] i have ever -- i'm thinking, oh what happened. you weren't even near the truck! [ laughter ] >> no, i was reaching for it. >> jay: and you saw him -- >> my nail broke on the -- [ laughter ] >> jay: oh, your nail broke. >> okay that's enough. that's enough. [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] >> zooey: aaw! >> you guys! come on! >> jay: terry, good luck with the new show. we will watch. "brooklyn nine-nine," on fox. [ cheers and applause ] terry crews! be right back, with orquesta buena vista social club! [ cheers and applause ] ♪