(crows caw) (frankie) there are lots of ways

you can categorize people-- age, politics, religion. but when you get down to it, there are really two basic types of people in the world-- the non-worriers... god, chill! i'll study while they're handing out the test. the nail was a little rusty, but i threw some beer on there, cleaned it right out. and the worriers. what if i never get my braces off? what if i'm part of some secret experiment where they're trying to see how long a person can last with braces on their teeth? i'm forgetting things, mike. my keys were right here! (sighs) this runs in families. it's only a matter of time before i am wandering the interstate in my bathrobe, and you're using candy to get me in the car. (lowered voice) i stole a customer from pete. i'm a dead man! dead, dead, dead! (lowered voice) you stole a sale from pete in real life, not that dream you have? yes! this guy he'd been working with came in on pete's day off, and i told him that pete had been shot by a cop, and i closed the sale. that must've been a rush. i felt like a god! ladies... (normal voice) oh! always funny, pete. (laughs) (whispers) he knows! (normal voice) if he goes for my face, don't let 'em rebuild it with that putty. it never looks natural.

(man over p.a.) frankie, you have a call on line 1. axl can't find his jeans. said it's your fault. you were supposed to wash them. why are you trying to ruin his life? tell him to look in the basket on the-- never mind. he found 'em. hey, how is axl doing? is he still dating that cheerleader girl? no, thank god. (frankie) the past few months had been a roller coaster of pain. axl's first love, morgan, had broken up with him, leaving him heartbroken. and then just when he'd finally bounced back... morgan and i are back together! she broke up with me. she loves me! she loves me too much. she's willing to take me back if i can change. i think i can. she doesn't like the person that i've become... (sniffling) so i totally broke up with her. no matter what anyone tells you, it was me, my decision, and i feel so good about it. (bag thuds) (sobbing) anyway, i'm just glad it's finally over. i have had it with her. you don't know what it's like to watch your kid get hurt again and again and again.

that's why i never dated in high school. s-spare my mom the pain. (door closes) (mr. ehlert) gather 'round, minions. i'm throwing a company picnic-- food, drinks, games, the whole shebang-- and i expect to see every one of you there with your families. it's really my granddaughter's 9th birthday, but this way i can write the whole thing off. she likes those american girl dolls. check with each other so you don't double up. remember how i told you we're hatching eggs at school for a science project? let's say i do. this little guy is the only one who didn't hatch. (whispers) hatch. brick, there's probably a reason it didn't hatch. (normal voice) i know. he's anxious about what he's getting into. that's why i'm gonna spend as long as it takes to reassure him that the world is a safe, loving place. meet scout. oh, hey there, scout.

when it starts to smell, throw it in the trash. to our great surprise, brick actually took better care of that egg than... well, just about anything i can think of. he took it with him everywhere. (tv playing indistinctly) (laughing) (laughter) but brick being brick... hey, what are you doing? i lost scout. (sighs) brick. i know it was inevitable, but i'm still disappointed in me. i don't know what happened. i had him with me, and then i didn't. just relax. it's gonna be okay. we'll find your egg. i already looked everywhere. you've looked everywhere, but have you smelled everywhere? start sniffing. (both sniffing) ugh. who even drinks buttermilk? (sniffs) mom, something stinks over here. (sniffs) (sniffs) oh, false alarm. axl's tennis shoes. ohh. ew. keep sniffing. (coughs) what is going on with your feet that your shoes smell like this?

awesome! you found 'em. ugh. (dog barking in distance) going to sean's. don't wait up. (whistles) here, scout. (whistles) here, boy. (door opens) i'm hoping for a boy. uh-huh. (door closes) is this axl's calculus book? yeah, right. (thud) (sighs) oh, sue, i found your lip gloss. oh, cool. oh, wait. this isn't mine. i only use lip smacker's orange pop flavor, same as brad. the calculus book, the lip gloss-- it was all adding up to one thing. either axl had turned into a gay math whiz... or morgan was back. (sighs)

hi, honey. how's the camping trip? well, kids had fun, but i think i slept on a rock. what are you doing? having coffee. ah, sounds good! i thought you'd say that. ah. ♪ the best part of wakin' up... ♪ you're the best! wake up to the mountain grown aroma of folgers. ♪ ... is folgers in your cup! [ jen garner ] what skincare brand is so effective... so trusted... so clinically proven dermatologists recommend it twice as much as any other brand? neutrogena®. recommended by dermatologists 2 times more than any other brand. now that's beautiful. neutrogena®. ♪ neutrogena®. mike, you're not gonna believe this. you ready? guess who axl is apparently seeing again.

don't guess! i'll tell you. morgan. (dog barking in distance) are you speechless or just not paying attention? i already knew. what? (gasps) you caught them together, and you didn't tell me? no. you overheard them on the phone, and you didn't tell me. no. axl told me, and i didn't tell you. what? what?! why? why didn't you tell me? frankie, i didn't tell you, because he asked me not to. he didn't think you would take it well. that doesn't even make sense. why would he think that? and i'll tell you another thing about morgan-- she is just stringing you along! i mean, she seems all nice and sweet, but if she really cared about you, she would not be jerkin' you around like this, and if you can't see that... oh, my god. so axl feels like he can't come to me? but he'll go to you, whose greatest pearls of wisdom are "shake it off" and "man up." apparently.

well, this sucks. aw. shake it off. mom, dad, i found my egg. ohh. well, you gave it your best shot. circle of life and all that. no, no. it hatched! isn't it great? i don't know where he is, but we have a baby chicken in the house. (whispers) chicken in the house. (chick cheeping) (keys jangle) (door opens, keys jangling) (whistling) hi, axl. how was sean's? fine. wait. where are you going? i was hoping we could talk. why? i don't know. i just miss ya. come on. sit. it'll be fun.

so what do you want to talk about? i don't. you made me sit here. (scoffs) okay, i'll start. axl, we've always had the kind of relationship where you can tell me anything, right? no. yes, we have, and i would feel so sad if you felt that you couldn't tell me something or that you had to hide something, because you were worried about how i would react, because i'm good at listening-- very good. better than dad, really. mom, i didn't tell you i'm back with morgan, 'cause i knew you'd flip out. you're back with morgan? mom, please. look, i know you hate her, but i love her, so could we just drop it? i don't hate morgan. i hated the way she treated you, but if you're happy, i'm happy. mom, i lie to you. you don't lie to me. that's the way it works. let me prove it to you. why don't you bring her to dinner tomorrow night? wow, mom, that sounds... awesome. come on. don't you want the two women in your life to get along? oh, my god. it sounds totally creepy when you put it like that.

(sighs) i cannot believe the head cheerleader and vice president of student council is coming to our house for dinner. i have, like, a million questions i want to ask her. this could be a real turning point in my life. okay, i agreed to dinner, but i never said anything about sue being here. can't we just tie her to a tree in the backyard or something? axl, shake it off. man up. your mom invited morgan over so we can all get to know her. it's not a big deal. (under breath) just a really bad idea. mike, don't be ridiculous. it's a great idea. it's gonna be great. mm. (doorbell rings) (exhales deeply) (utensils clatter) and i really believed it was gonna be great. if axl loved her, i could love her. simple as that. hi. oh, this is going to be hard. hey, morgan. come on in. (dog barking in distance) mrs. heck, i know axl and i have had our ups and downs, but he has made a lot of great changes,

and i am feeling really positive about our relationship right now. me, too. super positive. well, come on in. let's eat. i don't know what kind you like, so i got regular and extra-crispy. wow. it's hard to decide. sure. it can be hard to make a choice and then stick with it. i get that. what? i said, "i get that." (chick cheeping) is that a chicken? oh, sorry. (laughs) that's brick's chick. it's running around the house somewhere. we can't find it. he's right here. i found him this morning. brick, get that thing off the table. come on. look, he imprinted on me. he follows me everywhere. come on. (chuckles) (brick) see? (axl) okay. well, i had a worst-case scenario in my head, and this seems to be kind of exceeding that, so we're gonna go. no. this is all about us getting to know morgan. so, morgan, how's school goin'? fantastic. i just aced my a.p. mandarin test.

i told axl to drop spanish, so now he's taking it, too. ni hao. oh. i didn't know you dropped a class. so what's wrong with spanish? well-- nothing. it's just everyone knows chinese is the language of the future. uh-huh. huh. wow. i didn't know that. did you know that, mike? yep. it also looks good on your transcript. i told axl he needed to start thinking about things like that. it's not exactly like we never talk about that around here. (chuckles) i mean, we didn't just give birth to him and then walk away. well, i told axl... so it went for the next 20 minutes. i told axl he should ask for a raise at the theater. i told axl he should get those brakes fixed. i told axl he should wear more shorts. i told axl that eating too much takeout is bad for you. i told axl-- well, i told axl-- would you like some broccoli? i'd love some. oh, axl doesn't eat broccoli. oh, sure he does. i told axl it's great brain food, and now he loves it.

i told axl... (gasps) (clatter, thud) well, that's how it went in my head, anyway. in reality... frankie, you got a really weird look on your face. is it a smile? kinda. then i'm doing good. ♪ ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's so groovy now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪ ♪ i think it's wonderful now ♪ that people are finally getting together. ♪

get jacobs on the horn and schedule a meeting pronto. [ alarm blares ] order lunch. something fast, smith. it's jones, ma'am. yeah, look, we'll leverage the synergy on both sides. hi, jimmy john's? yeah, no, look, the boys -- jimmy john's. yep. sky's the limit on this one. make sure the silverman file is on my desk a.s.a.p. did you order lunch? yeah. it's waiting for you. better be, smith. still jones, ma'am. can't wait on this. time is money. [ bell chimes ] jimmy john's. [ male announcer ] jimmy john's. order online now! nice job, jones. order online now! it's back. olive garden's buy one, take one, just $12.99. choose one of five amazing entrees to enjoy today, like smoked mozzarella chicken. and take home a second entrée for later. buy one, take one just $12.99. go olive garden. closed captioning and other consideration for "the middle" provided by...

this jolly rancher.s for untamed fruit flavor. it was 3:00 in the morning, and i was way too worried to sleep. mike could sense it. (snoring) mike could sense it. (snoring) (clicks switch) mike. where's my bat? she has way too much power over him, mike. oh, god. see, that's why i knew dinner was a bad idea. (sniffles) axl will do whatever she says. it's scary. oh, you're exaggerating. hello? were you not there? axl's eating broccoli now, and that's how it starts. she tells him to eat broccoli, so he does. then she tells him what friends he can have, what college he should go to--

he should go to a college near her. so he moves there, and when he does, she breaks up with him again, and then she takes him back, and they get married and have kids, and then she gets bored, which is her pattern, so then they get divorced, and axl's living in our basement, and she's moved with the kids to florida, 'cause that's where her parents have retired, and they get to see the grandkids all the time and get to be called "nana" and "pop-pop," and we have to be boring "grandma" and "grandpa," and we only get to see them once a year, and when we try to hug 'em, they're all stiff and awkward, because we're strangers to our own grandkids! and it all starts with broccoli? (whispers) it all starts with the broccoli! i think you worry too much. (normal voice) i have a right to be worried. our grandkids live in florida! frankie, axl's 16. his brain's not even fully developed yet. brick's chick has better judgment than he does, and it spent an hour trying to walk into a fan. don't try to make me laugh. i'm worrying. well, stop. this relationship doesn't mean anything. (sighs) he's gonna date a million girls. some of 'em you'll hate more than morgan. is that supposed to make me feel better? (clicks tongue) fine. you're hell-bent on worrying.

i'll give you something to worry about. we had a meeting at work today. they're cutting back on our health insurance. night, honey. (sniffles) (chick cheeping) brick wasn't getting a lot of sleep either. at first he loved being a mom to a baby chick, but like all new parents, the novelty wore off pretty quick. it's coming. it's coming. it doesn't pour itself, you know. (cheeping) (sighs) i just got home. just give me a second to get a juice, and then i'll play with you. (sighs) (cheeps) (continues cheeping) (water running) (faucet turns off) (brick) can i get one minute to myself? (tv playing indistinctly) morgan? (gasps) yeah? i just want to tell you that i know you're head cheerleader and that i tried out for cheerleading also, but the day before tryouts, i dropped a big rock on my toe.

ohh. well... maybe next year. really? thanks! (chuckles) (gasps) mom, morgan thinks i should try out for cheerleading. (giggles) okay, 5-minute warning until we leave for the picnic. aw, do i have to? morgan's practice got canceled. what's she supposed to do while i'm at a picnic? play solitaire, find a new boyfriend, step in front of a bus... why doesn't she come with us to the picnic? really? oh, i don't want to intrude. (laughs) i'd really love you to come. i couldn't believe i'd said it either, but the truth is, after i said it, i felt good. all right. let me just get my purse out of axl's room. come on. maybe it was 'cause, in the light of day, all my fears just seemed... silly. mike was right. they were only 16, and what was so wrong with morgan? she's got my son speaking chinese and eating vegetables. that's not exactly robbing banks

and stealing cattle. what was i so worried about? (morgan) a picnic? it's not exactly what i felt like doing today. (axl) tell me about it. i'd rather hang out at my house. my parents are more fun. (gasps) (curtain hooks rattle) i know, but what am i supposed to do? (scoffs) fine. we'll go this once, but the next time your parents ask us to do something, you're making up an excuse. (gasps) (sighs) (gasps) all ready! (laughs) this is gonna be a blast. yay! there'd better be booze at this thing. (indistinct conversations) hey, stretch. you enjoying yourself? now that i found the beer. (chuckles) (can fizzes) well, i'm just glad i could throw this celebration for the employees. when you give, you get a warm feeling in your ticker, you know? that'll be 3 bucks. uh, the pop's a buck and a quarter there, princess.

i'll get it. oh, great. (sighs) (grunts) what? (cheeping) nothing. i mean, i shouldn't say anything bad about morgan, right? well, brick, just because you're a child doesn't mean your opinion is less than anyone else's, and i would hope that you'd feel comfortable sharing any negative feelings you might have about morgan. i'm not a big fan. i know, right? she comes across as all together and perfect, but trust me, i have heard things, brick. she is manipulative, deceitful, two-faced-- plus she sat on my bed and moved my books. not cool. ohh. (mouths word) (cheeping continues) (sighs) yes, i'm watching you. that's great. sorry. what was i saying? i'm wiped. he always wants to eat, play. i'm constantly cleaning up after him. throw in a car pool, and we'll talk. wow, i can't believe you picked me as your partner. yeah. yep, after days of worrying about payback

for stealing pete's customer, it looked like bob was finally in the clear. aah! that's tight. yes, it is. (sighs) i don't want you getting away, 'cause i know you stole my customer, you little fink! (starter pistol fires, crowd shouting indistinctly) (cheering) wha-- get-- (grunts) (crying) (both grunting) (cheeping) come on. the kids lost their cornhole partners. it's you and me on one side, and morgan and axl on the other. okay. whoa. whose partner did you want to be? oh, you were right when you said that-- them on one side and us on the other. i heard her talking, mike. i didn't want to say anything, because i didn't want to ruin a good time, but let's just say, morgan loves her family more than she loves ours. well, shouldn't she? god! you don't get it! (thud) you have no instincts! a bear could carry our child off into the woods.

you wouldn't even notice! (thud) why are you making yourself nuts here? i don't get it. (sighs) i told you, there's nothing you can do. accept it. this is out of your control. wo ni ai. (sighs) that's not how you say "i love you" in mandarin. i told you, you have to study! you know i'm doing that semester in hong kong. and i told you, if you want to go to hong kong with me, you're gonna have to practice! (thud echoing) yeah, this time it wasn't in my head. this time i actually did it. oh, my god. i'm sorry! i am so sorry. what did you do?! what? nothing. i never tried an overhand before. it got away from me. oh, my god. morgan, i am so, so sorry. i'm okay. let's get you in the shade. ohh. oh, my gosh! is she gonna be okay? she has to be okay. come on. (woman) ...got hit in the head. make a hole, people! my friend morgan is comin' through!

i knew it. i'm not proud, but i sure feel better. yep, it was petty and beneath me, and it didn't change anything, but hey, losing control over your kids is a tough thing to accept... as brick was about to find out. i told my teacher scout hatched, and she's making me bring him back. i'm worried scout needs me. no matter how many times i tell him, he just keeps running back into that fan. i hear ya, honey. it's tough being a parent. you watch 'em make mistakes, and there's not a thing you can do about it. guess that's the only way they learn. even though the mom is always right. you remember that when you're 16. (door opens, closes) so, brick, where is the chick? (chuckles) hey, there's a message on the machine from coach giesken. (refrigerator door opens) you gotta send back your medical evaluation before summer practice starts. yeah, i don't know. morgan told me i shouldn't play football next year, seeing as how practice might cut into our summer together, so... mm.

but if he doesn't play football, he'll never get a scholarship. and with no scholarship, he can kiss college good-bye. he'll end up in some crappy job, living in our basement, eating all our food, and stealin' beer money out of my wallet. i don't like her, frankie. i just don't. (sighs) i know. i know. i slept surprisingly well that night, i think 'cause nature made it that only one parent can worry at a time. nature's smart that way. and the truth is, we didn't have to worry about morgan for long. axl continued to date the "love of his life" for three more weeks, until the new foreign exchange student arrived from finland. hei. -- captions by vitac --

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jerry springer here for liberty ford randall's town. you're about to hear exciting news from the folks at liberty ford. if you're shopping for a new or

pre-owned vehicle, pi attention. here's exciting news from liberty ford. >> this is it, the event you're read about in the supervises and heard -- in the newspapers an heard about on tv. a liquidation at libertity ford with low market pricing available and guaranteed automotive credit, an event so big it could literally paint the quality of life for the better. if you want a new car, if you need a new car, i urge you to pay close attention. have you ever been dolled you're upside down with your current car or truck, that you owe more than it's worth? then today is your lucky day. during this total wall-to-wall automotive liquidation event, when we make a deal, we'll pay off your trade, no matter what you owe. incredible but true. best of all your new monthly payment could be less than you're paying now and your new car or truck will come with a lifetime engine warranty with no

mileage limitation, none. effective middle east, you will be automatically enrolled in liberty's lifetime protection plan. your tires will be protected for as long as you own the car. a new and important way to protect your new car investment. have you ever been rejected for automotive credit due to bankruptcy, divorce, medical bills, low pay, no pay? then today is truly your lucky day because you can be approved for automotive credit at this dealer-authorized liquidation going on now at liberty ford. i urge you to stay tuned and we'll tell you how to get the keys to your new car with absolutely no money down! >> hundreds and hundreds of people, your friends and neighbors are now driving the new car of their dreams! they simply made one toll-free call and were approved for audit this is an event of unprecedented magnitude. an event where you should expect very significant savings, low

monthly payments, and even buy with no money down during this cereal-authorized liquidation. your credit is guaranteed. when you purchase any new or pre-owned vehicle, you get the full factory new vehicle warranty. the remainder of the pre-owned vehicles' manufacturer warranty and liberty's lifetime warranty, with no mileage limitations. now, you will be enrolled in that's right, we'll make your first two payments. >> we want to be your credit lifeline. we're able to help just about anybody get the new or pre-owned vehicle they need, the one they deserve. thousands have to depend on the bus or taxies to get to work, the super market or friends. if that's you, grab the liberty

pick up the phone and call now for your guaranteed automotive credit. >> i have been seeing it on tv and in the newspaper. i needed a car bad, but after an ugly divorce and unpaid bills, my credit took a hit. i have been everywhere. no one wants to give me credit without a co-signer. where was i going to find a co-signer? this morning, i called the 1-800 number, and they told me i was approved and to come in and pick out my new car. can you believe it? this one, mine! >> let me ask you a couple of questions, do you want a new car? do you need a new car? do you think you can't afford a new car? do you think you might not be approved for automotive credit? well, i'm here to tell you, think again. if you have a job, you can buy a new car, and you can be approved

for automotive credit, even with past or current credit problems. this is the liquidation event you've heard about on the radio, the one your friends and neighbors are talking about. liberty ford in lain -- randallstown guarantees you automotive credit. >> i ask you to pay close attention. i'm going to tell you how you can buy a new or pre-owned vehicle at our lowest possible price. how to get a low monthly payment you can afford and how to buy with no money down. right now during the total liquidation event going on now at liberty ford in randallstown, when you purchase a new or pre-owned vehicle, you will be entered into our liberty for life program, a warranty program that allows you to drive worry free as long as you own your vehicle, included with your purchase. there's absolutely no additional cost. >> liberty for life gives you an engine warn warranty for a

lifetime, oil changes for a lifetime, tire rotation force life, safety inspections for life, even car washes for life. now, you will be automatically enrolled in our lifetime higher protection plan. most important, guaranteed automotive credit. guaranteed automotive credit. you heard me correct. >> this is a liberty ford offer available now during the gant dealer authorized liquidation. call the number at the bottom of the screen to register for the event and get guaranteed automotive credit. pick up and call 1-800-848-1000 now. it's free. >> call 1-800-848-1000 now. our helpful credit advisory will answer your call. you will be able to select from hundreds of available new fords and pre-owned vehicles. choose from lexus, bmw, honda, infinity, acura, toyota,

cadillac, even jaguar. our storage lots are packed and packed as tight as possible and with new vehicles on the way, we must make room. do you want to save money? do you need a car? don't miss this wall-to-wall inventory liquidation event. absolutely no reasonable offer will be refused. certain unreasonable offers may be accepted. experience saving up to 60% off original msrp. megan, you're talking with what looks like very satisfied buyers. aim right? >> you bet. let me ask this lady. what do you think of the giant automotive liquidation event? >> you've heard the expression everybody needs somebody sometime, take my word for it, it's true. i got laid off, never saw it coming, fell behind on my bills, pretty much screwed up my credit. i'm working fa at a new job and can afford a new car. but i don't get automotive

financing before till i came to liberty ford. my monthly payment was very affordable. it's easy and i was treated with respect. if you have past credit problems, believe me, they can help. i tell all my friends, come to liberty ford. >> all she had to do is make one simple call to 1-800-848-1000 and he she was approved for financing at liberty ford. you can be approved here, too. >> jerry springer here. every day i talk to people with problems. if you have problems buying a new or pre-owned vehicle, don't call me. call the folks at liberty ford. liberty ford is the place for instant automotive credit. at liberty ford, you will get $5,000 guaranteed for your trade. plus, liberty for life savings, all free for life. got a problem getting a vehicle in call liberty ford randallstown now.

>> excuse me, sir. what brought you here to liberty ford? >> the savings, of course. i shopped many other dealers around the beltway. dealer after dealer kept telling me i was upside down, i owed more than the car was worth. i got here, liberty ford paid you have my trade in full, even though i owed a lot, and put me in a new ford for less than i was paying. don't make one more payment on a car you hate. tell them to give you the same deal they gave birdie, and you will be very happy, believe you me. >> i encourage you to think big, big as in $95 million to lend, big as in rebate and discounts up to $14,000, which means you can drive away with no money down. big as in zero percent financing. that, over the course of your loan, could save you more than $11,000. big, as in ford dealer authorized liquidation. some vehicles will be sold at below-dealer cost, and when you buy any new or pre-owned

vehicle, you will automatically be enrolled in our liberty for life program, which entitles you to a lifetime warranty at no extra cost and guaranteed automotive credit. understand this, with liberty for life, when your factory warranty runs out, you will still be covered for as long as you own your vehicle. liberty ford in lain dalestown is -- in randallstown is one of the mid atlantic's fastest growing ford dealerships because they stock more new fords in the area and sell everyone of them for much less. we'll beat any competitor's price by $500 or we'll give you the car free during this dealer authorized liquidation event, you will save even more. when you call to register, you can get guaranteed automotive credit even if you've been turned down by other dealers. 1-800-848-1000. pick up the phone and call. you will get a $10 gas card with your credit approval.

just announced, consumer reports rated four vehicles ahead of toy owed, lexus and mercedes benz as some of the best built cars in the world. no longer do you have to pay luxury car prices for world class cars and trucks made right here in america. american' built cars and trucks now compete favorably with the best of the best. during this liquidation event, you can drive one with no money down. just sign and drive. it's that simple. if you want a new car or truck and want to save big money, call 1-800-848-1000. it will be one of the single most important calls i've ever made. you have my word on it. this event is about price and selection, the vehicle you want at a price you can aford. don't make one more payment on that car you're driving now. push it in, pull it in, tow it in, get it into liberty ford and get a $5,000 guaranteed trade

alallowance even if it doesn't run, for almost any car or any truck. just get it in, incredible but true. i ask you, do you know any other dealer anywhere who can deliver what liberty ford delivers, including liberty for life? simply put, liberty ford gives you more. >> i got lucky. i turned on the tv the other day and started watching this program. i had been out of work or a while and got behind on payments. i didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently it was. i needed a new truck for work, but when the dealers looked at my credit report, they shook their heads. not here, i made one call, got $5,000 for my truck that had more than 200,000 miles, i was approved for credit on the spot. but i got more. i got liberty for life. now i drive worry free for as long as i own my truck, and that's going to be for a long, long time. i can't believe all my oil

changes are free, and i can't believe my tires are covered from any road hazard. >> if you have been turned down for automotive credit by other dealers or offered you credit with a high finance rate of 19%, 20%, 23%, make the phone call nowvment you see, we have more than $95 million to lend and that's a lot of money. come on, get your share of our very low rate, a low as 0%. at liberty ford, we stock the area's largest inventory of ford, an outstanding selection of pre-owned cars, trucks and suv. >> jerry springer for liberty ford randallstown. liberty ford wants you as a lifetime customer so they're giving you liberty for life. you get engine warranty, tire protection, oil changes, tyrotakes, safety -- tire rotations, safety inspections, all at no cost and guaranteed credit. call now, liberty ford,

randallstown. >> the big difference between liberty ford an other dealers is here you get the liberty for life warranty at no additional cost, plus, with our low liquidation price and highest trade-in alallowance, imagine, a full factory warranty and liberty for life both at no additional cost. drive for as many miles as you want, you' covered. if you're a contractor, plumber, farmer, landscaper or electrician, during this ford dealer authorized liquidation at liberty ford, you will choose from hundreds and hundreds of tough, dependable ford trucks and vans, all at low, low liquidation prices and every one comes with a full factory warranty and the liberty for life warranty. imagine how much you will save with our low liquidation pricing and our long-term engine warranty and no extra cost for oil changes. it could be hundreds and hundreds of dollars. come see for yourself while savvy truck buyers buy only from

us. >> before you buy anywhere else, ask another dealer if their cars come with lifetime engine warranty, oil changes for life, safety inspections for life, tire rotations for life and car washes for life, and a lifetime tire protection program. ask if they guarantee you automotive credit, then ask for a low liquidation price. i know what you will here -- no, no, and no. but during this special event at liberty ford, we'll say yes, yes and yes. >> the only thing that's stopping you from sitting behind the wheel of a car like this is a phone call. so 1-800-848-1000. credit specialists are standing by waiting for your call. >> the call is free and confidential. you will be treated with the utmost respect and can be approved for automotive credit. go ahead, pick up the phone and call, 1-800-848-1000. >> i assure you, this will be

the single best call you will ever make because at liberty ford, we finance your future, not your past. air credit approval center is open 24-7, so if you call today, you ride today. the single goal of this telecast is to inform the buying public of the easiest way to obtain a car or truck and the lowest financing available. truck, meaning you drive free for the first two month. >> jerry springer, you've heard what we have been saying. liberty ford can get the job done for you. give them the call. doesn't matter if you want new, pre-owned, good or bad credit, liberty ford is waiting for your call. here's more. >> i just finished school and starting my first job, so reliable transportation is pretty important to me. i came to the sport event looking for a late model, low mileage, pre-owned vehicle i could afford. at liberty ford i saw pre-owned cars for under $5,000, everyone

else wanted $15,000 to $20,000 for cars i liked. i found less than i was looking for and paid $5,000 a day. the low-cost liberty for life warranty means i will be driving worry free forever. this is my first car. i'm excited about it. they took good care of me here. i think i'll get my next car here, too. >> this is a dealer authorized liquidation of new ford cars, trucks, suv's as well as hundreds of pre-owned lexus, toyotas, mercedes, even jaguars. all must be liquidated immediately. all comes with a full factory warranty and every used vehicle comes with the liberty for life warranty at no extra charge. we have 0 pi financing -- financing available which could save you thousands and you the customer get a rebate. we offer a $5,000 guarantee trade allowance even if your

trade doesn't run and automatic guaranteed credit. during this event, no credit rejection. starts with a free phone call and your new or pre-owned vehicle comes with a liberty for life warranty at no extra charge including an engine warranty for life, oil change force life, tire rotation force life, safety inspections and car washes for life and a lifetime tire protection program included and guaranteed credit. we'll pay off your trade, mo matter what you owe. come in and all our tow toll free credit approval hot line at 1-800-848-1000 right now. currently, we're experiencing a strong demand for quality late-model cars. we need your trade, so we're

willing to offer you up to 125% of kellie blue book value for your trade. we'll give you cash on the spot for your car even if you don't buy one of ours. here's what you should expect and nothing less -- one, to be treated with the utmost respect you deserve, two, to receive guaranteed automotive credit, three, to get the exact price you wish to pay and not one penny more, four, to get a new liberty for for less than you're paying now, five, to be able to buy with no money down, six, to save thousands with 0% interest-free financing, and, seven, a total buying experience second to none. if you want a new car, if you need a new car, then head straight to liberty ford on liberty road in randallstown. liquidation pricing must end soon. 0% financing won't last forever. if i told you, you could be

driving a new liberty ford by about $5 a day, would you call right now? then pick up the phone and call 1-800-848-1000. you can drive out in a new ford for about $5 a day. >> let me tell you something, if you've ever had a credit problem, you know the difference between good and bad credit is the way that you're treated. tell me, brian, how was your experience at liberty ford? >> well, if a dealership thinks you may have bad credit, they will spend very little time with you, am i right? it wasn't that way at liberty ford. i was treated with respect, approved for automotive credit, a low payment, liberty for life warranty with no mileage limitation. i ask you, why would you buy anywhere else? if you want to save big money, make the call like i did, you won't be sorry. nobody treats you like liberty ford and no one saves you more. >> jerry springer for liberty ford randallstown. if you need a car, call liberty ford now.

liberty ford is the place for instant automotive credit. at liberty ford, you will get $5,000 guaranteed for your trade, instant credit approval and liberty for life savings including engine warranty, oil changes, tire protection and more. all free for life. that's a deal you can't beat. 1-800-848-1000 now, liberty ford, ran -- randallstown. >> that pretty much says it all. the liberty ford philosophy is simple, more for less every day. better prices, better service, never any gimmicks. special discounts for state and federal workers, military personnel, firemen, police, teachers, senior citizens and all union workers. show us proof of i.d. and we deliver what we promised. the lowest price. with truckloads of fords coming in, we have to make room. we're under ford authorization to liquidate immediately with

little regard for profit or loss. we have been instructed to accept all reasonable offers without exception. you've never bought this way before. to accommodate an expected buyer demand, we'll be open late every night. an unprecedented event, your credit is garn teevmentd zero turndown. past credit problems are in the past -- bankruptcy, divorce, chargebacks, late payments, medical bills and first-time buyers, doesn't matter to us. a you will get a lifetime warranty with the purchase of any new ford or pre-owned vehicle. it covers your engine life, lifetime oil changes, safety inspection, tire rotation, even free car washes, and, now, also, the lifetime tire protection program. during this special automotive liquidation savings event we're offering a $5,000 guaranteed

trade for any vehicle, regardless of condition. push it in, pull it in, tow it in, just get it in to liberty ford for a $5,000 guaranteed trade-in. there is absolutely no need to drive all around the beltway looking for a great deal. during this authorized liquidation event, our best deal and your very best value is in randallstown at liberty ford on liberty road, home of liberty for life, a lifetime warranty on new and pre-owned vehicles. we offer guaranteed credit. when we make a deal, we'll pay off your trade no matter what you owe. >> give me liberty or give me death! give me liberty or give me death! >> don't let another minute go by. make a call that will change your life for the better, 1-800-848-1000. call now and get a $10 gas card with your credit approval.

>> remember, the call is free and can confidential. you will be treated with the utmost respect and courtesy. right now, you can get guaranteed credit and liberty ford. we have 0% financing, more than $95 million to lend, and you, the customers, get the rebate. it doesn't get any better. if you're a butcher, baker, candle stick maker, if you have a job, during this dealer authorized liquidation event going on at liberty ford, you can drive the new car of your dreams. i personally invite you to visit my friends at liberty ford on liberty road in randallstown. mention you saw this program and you will receive this 30-piece emergency roadside safety kit just for filling out a credit application. you will want to take this emergency roadside emergency kit with you at all times no matter where you go. it can save your life. it's free. consider it a thank you for attending our giant liquidation savings event.

people all over maryland are saying give me liberty or give me debt! hundreds and hundreds of people responded to this liquidation event. buyers from everywhere, they come here to get guaranteed credit, where all you need is a job, pay stub or proof of income. it's that simple. >> zero down, zero interest, and virtually zero turndown. it's really just that simple. the dealer has specifically authorized the liquidation. you will save money. the goal, to sell our entire new and pre-owned inventory immediately. these new and pre-owned vehicles are available to the general public, some below dealer cost, some up to 60% off. register by phone for this special automotive savings event by calling 1-800-848-1000. the over the phone application takes only a few short minutes.

you will talk to a knowledgeable and friendly loan officer on site. their sole mission is to get you approved, get you the financing you need, that you deserve. the only thing keeping you from the drivers seat is the phone call to 1-800-848-1000. some cars will be sold under $5,000. choose from ford, lexus, bmws, mercedes, cadillacs, hondas, toyotas, nissans and jaguars. we have $90 million to lend now. you can make the automotive deal of a lifetime. we offer a $5,000 guaranteed trade. so push it in, pull it in, tow it in, do whatever you have to, just get it in to liberty ford for a $5,000 guaranteed trade. remember, during this event, everybody rides and nobody walks. because liberty ford is the walking man's friend. time is running out. ford dealer authorized liquidation pricing may be withdrawn at anytime. 0% financing could disappear.

i encourage you the act right now. call now, get your loan approval i.d. take advantage of 0% financing. get a rebate. we will get you approved. if you're looking for the automotive deal of a lifetime, take my word. this is it. pick up the phone and call our loan approval specialists at 1-800-848-1000 for your loan approval i.d. do it now. get a $10 gas card when you pick up your credit approval. >> all pre-owned vehicles will be offered at wholesale prices. the public with pre-owned prices starting at just under $5,000. these are late model, low mileage vehicles that are almost impossible to tell from new. imagine with this new pricing philosophy, how much more car you can drive for so little money. almost wholesale prices to the public are another example of getting more or less now at liberty ford. >> thanks for watching. >> say it with us.

>> give me liberty or give me debt! >> we open early and close late monday through saturday. call 1-800-848-1000 for guaranteed automotive credit. pick up the phone and call now. >> tell them rich and megan sent you. >> that's our hoe shore food. thanks for your calls. what about you? you haven't called yet. you've seen the information, have the number and you're this close? do it. make the call that will get you a vehicle today. call liberty ford. i'm jerry springer. tell your friends the great liberty ford news, and thanks for watching.