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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 13, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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american express open. live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, chloe grace moretz. from colony, josh holloway. and music from dj khaled featuring future. with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving forward, here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i stand before you tonight to declare that the state of this program is strong. you didn't watch the state of the union address? well, president obama gave his final state of the union address last night. it was the president's shortest state of the union address, clocking in at 58: 49. which happens to be -- my last one would have been much shorter than that. mine would have been however long it takes to say "you're on your own, suckers" and that would be it. festivities started before the speech. the rapper wali who happens to be from washington, d.c. performed at the white house in what was billed as the
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shout-out lady gaga she couldn't be here hey >> then he fired his manager. i don't know, it was like somebody's living room. most all the big names in politics were there. every year the state of the union becomes more like a televised awards show. they had a red carpet of sorts. >> secretary, who are you wearing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, these speeches aren't easy to make for a president. half the audience is against you. the democrats clap and the republicans don't. over and over again. if you're a republican you don't want to get caught agreeing with anything obama says because it could ruin your political career. so you have to sit there and make a face like you're
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eaten by coyotes through the whole thing. one face that got a lot of attention was that of south carolina governor nikki haley. she gave the rebuttal speech, the speech after obama's speech. as you can see, she did it without ever opening her mouth all the way. it was all gritted teeth. nice teeth though. her teeth are so white they're now running second to donald trump among the republicans. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> the you know who else was there, kim davis was there. remember her? the county clerk who refused the same-sex marriage licenses? you see she was sporting her meanest scowl and her fullest mullet for the event. she said she was there to encourage all christians -- she even wore joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat. [ laughter ] but the star was president obama. unfortunately for president obama, ratings were down from last year's state of the union. especially among younger viewers.
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resonate with young people, i guess. they tried showing the speech on snapchat. but i think they're missing the point. i have an idea that might make it more appealing and i offer this idea to the white house free of charge. what if you tried reaching young people in a language they actually speak? like emoji? >> but i can promise that a little over a year from now, when i no longer hold this office, i will be right there with you. inspired by those voices of fairness, engagement, of grit and good humor and kindness that have helped america travel so far. voices that help us see ourselves not first and foremost as black or white or asian or latino, gay, straight, foreign
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but as americans first. >> jimmy: meanwhile, we've big sports news, the rams are coming back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: after 20 years in st. louis the rams -- the owner of the rams got his wish. last night at the blues game sleuth fans bid him a fond farewell. well, they're upset. the san diego chargers and oakland raiders also said they wanted to move to l.a. san diego still has that option. and if they pass, oakland could step in. it's exciting. finally l.a. will get to experience the thrill of being disappointed by two more sports teams. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i got here when the rams left. the city's changed a lot since
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i think they should change the name of the team, i have ane kardasherams. right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]t subject i do want to mention that kylie jenner has an app and for only $2.99 a month you too can get exclusive personal access tohich is filled with video, including gems like this. insightful meditation on the new year. >> my i think years have more to do with just a date. i feel every year has a new energy and i feel like this year is really about like the year of justnd just coming into your own and finding yourself. i feel like all my friends around me and everybody around me, we're all just like realizing things and like things to light and we just
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and just do good things and have fun and just have no stress. >> jimmy: tly. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is the year of realizing stuff. see, she should have given the state of the union have loved it. we have a fun show, from "the fifth wave" chloe grace moretz is here. josh is here. and we have music from dj khaled with future. if you're not familiar with dj owing him on snapchat snapchat, you should be. he's known partly for his inspirational and motivational messages. kylie jennermill him. nothing. >> life is like sky. some days going to be a lot of clouds with turbulence. some days is going to be clear blue skies. .
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>> jimmy: that'sve-day forecast you've ever heard. do you want another one? one more? okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> you smart.smart. we the best. you a genius. this next part of the video is when you're doing pushups or sit-ups, whatever, let's get it. another one. another one. another one. another one. another one. i think you can imagine how it went from there. [ cheers and applause ] i love dj khaled videos. we wanted to put his gift inspiration to good use. i asked him to record a motivational message for someone who really needs it, someone who's really down right now, jeb bush. listen up, jeb. you're about to get the key. i rock with obama. obama, salute. but jeb bush, seems like you
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i'm going to give you the keys to success andjeb bush, i appreciate you. you a leader. you a bush. another one. [ bleep ]. you to win. breakfast. a healthy breakfast of fruit, green apple, that's the key, s to believe in yourself. the key is sneakers. jeb bush. you. you. you water them for you. be a player. don't play yourself. and don't play your sport, jeb bush. the key to success is talk. jeb bush and cocoa life smooth, use cocoa butter, have a glow. always use cocoa butter. major key, cocoa butter.r. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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there. cocoa butter. i can easily see jeb gaining 7% or 8% in the polls from that. now this story, this is a story if ever there was one. the billion and a half dollar powerball drawing. we don't know the how airs we know. in a lot of offices the co-workers will pool money to buy tickets. if they win they share the jackpot. or one keeps it and then the rest sue him later. over the weekend 42 people who work at a restaurant in new jersey pooled their money and then when they got the winning 'd hit the jackpot. >> how much? >> 11 -- >> yes, 27 -- yes. >>yes. >> 63. >> yes.
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>> yes! >> oh! >>. >> jimmy: so here's the thing. they didn't actually win.he wrong numbers. they had the numbers from like the previous week. which is terrible.back, we're going to talk to the staff from that restaurant about this unlucky brush with lady luck andersey standing by. stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] to those who deliver dinner... and get dinner delivered. to those caked in flour... coated in dust...ed in lava. to those who are up all night... and up all night.eautiful
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chloe grace moretz,lloway on the way. a record billion and a half dollar powerball drawing is tonight. by the time we air it will have been determined. it's the biggest jackpot iny of the world. not counting jerry hall marrying rupert could be realizing they won, please win this already so i don't have to listen to everybody here having fake conversations about how much of the money they would give to charity if they won. generous in a hypothetical way. anyway, a group of 42 unfortunate employees at gracinisey who thought they had won the powerball last weekend turned out they hadn't. they were reading the numbers from the previous week.disappointed. we tracked them down. maybe cheer them up. joining us on our cisco screen
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welcome everybody from gracini's. hey, guys. charlie, diego, moses, claudio, tony, mike, maybe some other in inglewood cliffs, new jersey. thank you for joining us. how are you holding up right now? >> we're ready to win. >> ready, jimmy. >> ready. >> ready to whose fault was this? everyone point to the person whose fault it was.e? you're the bartender and you read the numbers. where did you get the wrong numbers? >> from a friend of mine, texted them had tickets for us, me and him, and he sent me the wrong numbers from the powerball who is this friend? >> i don't want him to be named. >> jimmy: i'm sure. who organized the pool and got thell together?
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>> jimmy: how many did you buy, diego? >> like 270immy: how did you guys find out that they weren't the correct numbers, the winning numbers? >> well, 251:00 i called home. and i said -- my wife said to me, charlie, please just double-check the numbers.ite. i went to the powerball website. they had refreshed the numbers. sure enough, every number was knew we had a problem. >> jimmy: how long did you believe you were millionaires? how much timeght you'd won? >> 15, 20 minutes. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> high fiving, laughing, everything you can think of. >> jimmy: how did you break the bad news to everyone? >> slowly. >> well, yeah.
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restaurant, worked my way to the other. it was really tough. but it was a great moment for us, it really was. >> jimmy: well, yeah, i bet it was. owner of the restaurant. did anyone at that time -- did anyone quit, did anyone say anything they shouldn't have said? >> oh this guy, diego.ays -- one of the customers wanted a cloth. he says, get your own cloth. then of course theumping around, ripping their clothes off. they said, we quit, we're never washing another dish again the rest of our lives.ike that? >> jimmy: are those guys back washing dishes right now?are. >> jimmy: when god closes a door, he opens a dishwasher.t feel nice that you get to keep working together?
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things than having a billion dollars, like providing -priced italian food to the community? >> nope. >> jimmy: no? [ laughter ] >> it sucks. >> jimmy: you got your tickets.ou buy this time? >> 400! >> jimmy: all right, okay.this time, yeah. >> oh, yeah, definitely. >> jimmy: and you will -- >> now we change grissini meatballs to powerballs. >> jimmy: what are the specials on the menu? >> osso bucco, braised veal shank, marinaded sardines. we have ae pastas. >> jimmy: bring me one of everything. >> and we're going to win tonight. >> jimmy: i hope you guys win. it seems like it would beon if you do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you do, give two weeks' notice next time, all right? >> it's a you, guys. there you go.
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>> jimmy: the gang at grissini. we've got a good show tonight. chloe grace tonight. we have music from dj khaled featuring future. and josh holloway. stick around.nd applause ] cation stand out. those who dare to redefine it stand apart. new lexus rx and rx hybrid. never has luxury been this expressive. rsuit of perfection. this is iphone 6s.
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] >> jimmy: hi there. tonight, from "colony" josh holloway is here. later the album is called "i changed a lot." dj kam the samsung stage. tomorrow night we'll be visited by leslie mann, ariana grande, music from our first best cannot buy beer or rent a car but she's been in 40 movies, traveled the world several, is allowed to call "fifth wave." it opens a week from friday. please say hello to chloe grace moretz! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, by the way, turning 18. i think the first time you were here you were only 15 years old. >> yeah barely. i just turned 15.
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just shows you we're all growing up. >> you know, that's what happens with time. eventually. ow that you're 18? things you feel you can -- you can chew tobacco legally. >> i can technically chew whatever kind of tobacco i'd like to. an donate blood. >> wow, yeah. >> jimmy: you can get a costco membership. >> uh-huh. i've been trying to get a costco membership for years. >> jimmy: what do you mean trying? >> they denied my: why? why would they deny you? you didn't have $40? >> i was just under the cap. it was really >> jimmy: at one time when it was cost plus or something, it had a different name, price costco, you did have to have w anybody with money. >> now they don't care. unless you're under 18, apparently. >> jimmy: that is true. >> i want to buy my hot dogs in it's all any american could ever dream is to be able to buy their hot dogs in bulk.
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you aren't going to regular highe -- >> home schooled. >> jimmy: did you graduate? >> yeah, i'm done with high school. officially. >> jimmy: you're the only student in your class? >> iss. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. >> valedictorian. the whole you give your speech in your kitchen to your family? >> my living room. >> jimmy: and have you -- do you feel like -- are you driving now?>> jimmy: you are. >> i got my license. i turned 18, finished high school, got my license. i'm an adult!do anything with it. >> jimmy: you use it? >> no. >> jimmy: are you scared to drive? >> well, i was until i started -- well, my biggest fear was driving. >> jimmy: other cars? >> because it was cars around me. i was fine when i was alone. >> jimmy: i see. >> then i was like, you know what? i'm going to go on a road trip acrossimmy: really? >> that's what you do when
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>> you didn't go by yourself? >> no, i wouldn't have been able to survive alone. i went with myyfriend nick. >> jimmy: you must be very close with him. >> yeah they've been together like seven years now. he's kind of a family member. >> jimmy: no fighting in theno, we didn't get into one fight, which i was ready. i was prepped and ready. to like have a big brawl, you know. like we're the radio or something like that. >> something. over a bag of doritos. >> jimmy: yeah. >> things happen. when you spend 12 hours in the immy: wow. that's something. it's a shame your brother's -- maybe it should be you. >> we'd be a great couple.at are you going to do? i heard that they announced that you are going to star as the little mermaid in a live action version of "the little mermaid." >> yeah. - [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: being your age that would be -- is that more ind blowing yeah.
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>> no, it definitely was one of the most exciting things i've ever booked.ething i grew up with, little mermaid, we all grew up at least knowing it. >> jimmy: i dreamed of being the little mermaid. >> i know you did. you can be my>> jimmy: that's nice. >> no, i want to be the mermaid! >> it's fine. borrow a wig. >> jimmy: how do you prepare for being a ight in the process of starting it. i have to learn how to swim in a really? >> it's going to be kind of crazy. some kind of thing -- >> some prosthetic tail. >> jimmy: yeah, this could turn >> jimmy: terrible job. >> horrible. it could potentially. >> jimmy: yeah. they'll krazy glue your knees together and putil -- >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: then throw you in the ocean. >> i finish the movie never able to walk again.
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did you tell them that in the >> i can't really swim. >> jimmy: you can't swim? >> well, i can. but i'm not a strong swimmer. >> jimmy: this makes a wonderful story. the littleswim. >> yeah. but you know, maybe that's the new story. >> jimmy: that is a good story. >> the mermaid who learns to immy: it shows people, believe in yourself. >> never back down. >> jimmy: unless you drown, in which case it's a terrible story. >> then it's horrible.ie in the first 15 minutes. and it's not okay. >> jimmy: it wouldn't be great for young girls, put it that way. >> no, no. >> jimmy: that's exciting. when we come backr new movie which is based on popular books and it's called "the fifth wave." chloe grace moretz is here.
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>> drop yours first! drop it! >> okay, your turn. >> let me see your other hand. >> if i move this hand i'm afraid my stomach will fall out. >> i need to see your other hand. in your hand? >> nothing. drop your weapon.
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>> jimmy: is it an iphone? >> it wasn't an iphone. it was an iphone. samsung galaxy. >> it's my samsung galaxy. >> jimmy: i'll wait to see the texts i'm getting. this movie as i mentioned,, and it looks kind of scary. is it scary? >> there's definitely thriller elements. it's a movie. there's definitely moments where you're left on the edge of your seat. >> jimmy: the fifth wave. there's five waves. the first wave is?e is an emp which basically knocks out all of our technology and power and world. and then the second wave is so it's a series of earthquakes which are also tsunamis which major city. >> jimmy: which look very scary, i saw that, yeah,hird is this genetically
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takes out like 97% of the bad. >> horrible. not a fun thing to go through. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the fourth wave are these guys called silencerse aliens that come down to earth and pick off -- >> jimmy: the rest. >> the last remaining humans. >> jimmy: and you're one of the last remaining humanse brother. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have a bunch of brothers? >> i do, four older brothers. >> jimmy: four older brothers, oh. must have been goodounger brother in in one? >> jimmy: a younger movie brother. >> i was able to boss him around. i got payback for good. >> so he was really lucky to work with me. he really enjoyed it. no, no. it was really fun to have more like a -- an adult feelinge a little brother. because i've never had a little brother. >> jimmy: you're used to being the kid on these movies. >> een the youngest on set. >> jimmy: do you ever google yourself? >> i try not to. >> jimmy: you try not to but
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>> it's so s hard not to. in google there's a thing where they fill in -- >> the blank. >> jimmy: yeah, what do they call that, auto completethat? >> probably like guess for you. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. and then so if you put your name, like let's put your name in and see.ess are -- i guess these are the most common things that people want to know about you. >> a lot about my immy: why don't we go through these. are you married? >> you know, not -- no. >> jimmy: no? are you a cello player? >> i can be. ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you engaged? >> i'm not yet engaged either. >> jimmy: are you single? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. >> but, you know.>> yeah. >> jimmy: does chloe moretz play the cello? >> there's a lot about that cello inhey love the cello. do you have brothers? >> yes. >> jimmy: sing? >> i can do it all.
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>> i don't have a -- what's a kick? that makes me feel 18 and i don't know what a kick is. >> jimmy: you know that it's something. >> i know that it's got to be a thing. >> jimmy: it is a thing. >> is it a thing? >> jimmy: if you don'tnitely don't have one. >> no. >> jimmy: maybe it's a brand of cello. i don't know. >> it could -- i could play my kick y're really obsessed with this cello. do you like individual grow games? >> i do. >> jimmy: which one dozen you like? s' creed, battlefield. >> jimmy: who is chloe grace more rets, who is chloe grace moretz's mother. >> wow.mother? >> who is my mom? it's a mysterious question. no, my mom -- >> jimmy: never know hot their mother is really, do they. >> noten you find out and never want to know again. >> jimmy: who is your agent, who are you dating, wdw -- >> immy: i don't know wdw --
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>> jimmy: i have no idea. >> you dating wd-40? >> no. >> jimmy: engaged to. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: again with your mom. >> people really love my mom. >> jimmy: the cello and your lly now that we've answered these questions there will be a whole new set of weird things. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: maybe the viola, who knows. it's great to see you. called "the fifth wave." it opens a week from friday. chloe grace moretz, thank you. be right back with josh forget about the cowboy walk because of a saggy diaper" it's time to dance freely" " thanks to new pampers cruisers" only diaper that helps distribute wetness evenly into three extra so it doesn't sag and stays dryer" gle it" " jiggle it" " and do, whatever that is, in new pampers cruisers"
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from dj i spent six magical seasons on an island with our next guest from the show "lost." i'm still not surend. he has a new show "colony," premieres tomorrow night on usa. please welcome josh holloway!nd applause ] how are you doing? >> i am doing great.
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you today, i was wondering when a big powerball prize comes up like that do you play from "lost"? >> what a great story that would be. wouldn't it? it's not my not your fate? >> it's not my fate. you have to go through poo to get to good. i can't just buy a lotto ought one anyway. >> jimmy: it would wipe out your accomplishments? >> jimmy: speaking of dredging son. >> yes, i do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. what is his name? >> hunter. he is you have a new one? >> jimmy: i do, yes. she's a girl. >> congratulations. >> thank you very much. >> you're cool again. idiot. >> jimmy: exactly. >> kids start ageing and you can do no right.
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i would not imagine that you really crack down. am i wrong? >> i'm the fun guy. >> the wifey has to take on that role. however, we do implement certainl. >> jimmy: like what? >> everybody's got a bogeyman. don't they? >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> we use the bogeyman, for my daughter it was pawangso because my wife's from indonesia. >> jimmy: what is ary, dude. >> jimmy: tell me about this. >> pawangso is the indonesianng hagrid from harry potter but really dirty. he has ninja men, only their pajamas. they come around, scoop you up, put you in a sack, they take you to to work
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do dishes, clean husband house, his hovel. >> jimmy: oh my god. coming to get you? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> spanking is no longer n. funny enough, carlton happened to call once, carlton cues. >> jimmy:"lost" and now this show. >> he called and he has a deep he's like, josh? we used to say, we're going to call we're like, no, you're not. we'd turn on that message and carlton's voice would come on. you could shove spinach, anything, down her throat. -- carlton is like -- >> he was really hurt. he was like, i don't want to be pawangso. >> jimmy: like the opposite of santa claus.
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do you call that?know. >> the mexican caballero. >> jimmy: is that good? >> like el chapo.and mysterious. >> jimmy: thanks. >> jimmy: my mother was my bogeyman, i think. no, but you know what? we did have something. because my brother is nine years younger than i am.leader, we've been best friends since we're kids. my brother wanted to go everywhere with us.f he misbehaved that the penis man was going to come get him. >> you go right to it. enis. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: forget about pawangso. >> i will wash dishes allut don't take my penis.
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>> i like that one.he was very well behaved. >> my god he was. he still has his penis obviously. >> jimmy: i'm excited you and carlton are back together for this show. i desperately miss "lost." thisr miss ysterious kind of thing? >> yes. the story of course is completely different than "lost." but the mode of storytelling is that you don't know [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you don't know what's going on. do you? >> no. >> jimmy: no, on the show. >> no. it's that. it's -- the audience knows what you know. so it's unfolding likeries unfold. and in that way it's like "lost." answers are going to create worlds will unfold. everything will blow up when you think you have it physical examinationed out. >> jimmy: at the end of "lost" did you ask those guys what
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happened? >> do you know what happened? >> jimmy: i don't know>> me either. me it's sgrer . >> jimmy: i don't think we're supposed to know what happened. >> i hope that's the use that's what i tell people. >> jimmy: either that or the two of us are stupid. >> i tell people something different every time if i'm in mood. i'll tell them whatever they want to they tell their friends, i heard from josh holloway, this is what was supposed to happen. i want to bring somebody, if you don't mind, i want you to meet somebody who works here. josh holloway with an "a." i want to meet your [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: josh, come in here. >> man! gets a lot of your e-mails. >> we're very similar. [ cheers and applause ] >> i look now. by the way, we have a lot of
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pleasure to meet you, brother. >> jimmy: josh -- >> i had a josh thator for me. >> jimmy: we have a lot of joshs. i want to show the range between josh holloways. you can see that it could really go from one end other. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's almost >> we've got to stick together. >> jimmy: josh has been dreading this all day. >> i'm sure. >> jimmy: he does get a lot of your e-mails. >> thank god, them. >> jimmy: somebody is answering them. josh holloway, what do you think happened at the end of "lost"? do you have an idea? >> i host." yeah, yeah. which makes it all very -- >> you're supposed to be myide. >> jimmy: this is one of those wonderful moments that's only for our staff. i like to thank josh holloway and josh holloway for being here. "colony" night on usa at 10:00. thank you, josh.
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khaled and future.] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
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>> guillermo: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to grace moretz, josh holloway, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. first, this is his album called "i changed a lot" from future, dj khaled! >> they don't want us to win so win win no matter what i can never get enough and every time i step up in the buildin' go up jimmy kimmel! and they stay there and they say yeah and they stay there n up down 'cause all i do is win win win
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sippin' my cup what you think i'm hot for to make my stock go up they don't want me on jimmy kimmel so i'm going to make sure i'm on jimmy kimmel!ure with me. revenge! we the best! dj khaled! put your hands in the air, put them up, put them em up! this muddy muddy when i on these bitches
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had a flood on my wrist it was yellow mellow check on that chick paper let's go i put the racks them i got a mac with a drum on them soon as the dry hit we laid on them two cups of the muddy i swerve on them wait on it wait on it and we stay on them we stay on them out the ghost they was mad at me i can see jealousy written on they face when they looked at me they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper lay about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper lay
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they know i don't play about that paper put your hands in the sky with dj khaled and future! make some noise!es, this one's for you. you mine 's right that's right that's right! you mine that's right hands in the sky everybody come on! dress it upe then tell me you gone kill for me then tell me you gone steal for me then tell me you gone steal for me i just said walk in the then i say gimme the total i went to harlem and get me a spanish quin i went to baltimore got me a ghetto i've been livin' so lavishly she [ bleep ] me good she roll up my blunt she evenmy savages got the rollie hanging off her like uncle marion i know it's love i know it's love
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i walked in the club i walked in the clubi told that on the ruger even i'm gangster [ bleep ] love ya like larry hoover i just sent her off to shop her daughter in the uber you're mine you're mine you'ree you're mine you're mine you're mine let's rock future! jumpman jumpman jumpman jumpman jumpman i just seen the jet take off they up to something them boys just not bluffing them boys just not bluffing jumpman up to something she was tryna join the team i told her wait chicken wings and fries we don't go on dates nobu nobu nobu nobu nobu nobu i just throwed in la that's the way for me money coming fast i just had to buy another safe
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