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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 25, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's " jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight, chris pine -- from " pride and prejudice and zombies," lena headey -- and music from panic! at the disco with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> jimmy: very nice. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. i'm glad i'm here. i tell you, a lot of people, i don't know how many of you are visiting from the east coast but a lot of people who were got stranded here over the weekend. there was too much snow to fly home. they canceled the flights. there was more than 2 feet of york. parts of west virginia got 3 1/2 feet. thank got we have instagram or this would all be pointless, you know? all nonessential federal workers in washington, d.c. were told to stay home today. nonessential? do they call you? steve, i have some good news and some bad news. good news is you have the day off today. bad news, you're worthless.
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they call it came many amusing weather reports over the weekend like this one from abc in new york. >> now it is really just coming down very, very heavily and that is why there's such a stern warning from mayor de blasio for people to stay home at all costs. he warned kids -- look it, see what happened here? that's why. that's why, i don't know if you saw the kid fall here. that is why the mayor's urging people -- are you okay? geez. it is very slippery here. >> jimmy: poor kid still hasn't made it home. this is good. this is a live report from virginia where one local reporter found herself at the corner of maybe the worst intersection ever. >> -- coming down about an hour now. i'm right here in downtown danville at the corner of main street and crackhead street -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. hell of an address. i guess it's crag head street
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better. i propose a name change. whenever there's a major storm the local news channels scramble to find anyone official-sounding to help them full-time. the nbc affiliate in washington, d.c. got on the phone with somebody who they though was with the virginia department of transportation. listen very closely because you will be able to understand very clearly that the person on the other end of the phone is pulling a prank. but for some reason these news anchors remain completely oblivious to this. >> now to the virginia department of transportation, v-dot, jason bond on the phone, how's it looking for you guys this morning? >> i'd say it's a rough morning for sure. we're busy -- a lot of our trucks are getting held up a bit. it's a lot bigger than what they expected. >> disabled vehicles, there were just as many stranded cars like the ones that we're seeing on the video here. >> yeah, i mean -- >> that is a problem if. >> that's a prime example. my drug dealer and my prostitute were on the way, you know. you know.
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>> so for people that are traveling now or that need to, what are your words of advice? >> stay hunkered down as long as possible. and then, you know, check the main roads, call your friends, family, use your network to see if it's passable. if it's not, don't take a chance, there's no reason for it. you know, the prostitutes will be there tomorrow morning. you know, you can have a good time then. >> what are your road crews -- what kind of shifts are they clear? >> these guys are working -- i hate to say it, but almost 20 hours, you know? and those good call girls in the hotel, they just stay there, you know? >> thank you so much, jason bond, bringing us up to speed on the conditions. >> jimmy: that's what happens when your coanchor is 10 years old. [ cheers and applause ] how does that happen? is it possible that their earholes are frozen shut?
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phone call stands out. the good news is people are keeping busy while they're cooped up. today by the way something that's been lost in all the commotion about the snow is today is bubble wrap appreciation day. this is an annual holiday on which we celebrate bubble wrap. and heap scorn on the accursed packing peanuts that would seek to destroy it. bubble wrap is one of the simple, unexplainable pleasures of life. and tonight to really go nuts and enjoy it, here is our own guillermo riding a bubble wrap bicycle. guillermo, come on in. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, reset there, guillermo. i like the hat g thank you!
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[ cheers and applause ] falls, no problem. that was beautiful and wasteful, you know? so happy bubble wrap appreciation day to you. you know, i tell you something, if you'reee at mailboxes, et cetera, every day is bubble wrap appreciation day. did you watch the football games yesterday in the matchup for super bowl 50 is set. it's the guy from theials against the guy from the papa john's commercials. the panthers versus the broncos. three weeks ago wasn't this the ye dust? where he got benched, there was talk they might have to put him to sleep? quite the contrary.a, then broncos first beat the defending champion patriots in a very tight game that ended when tom the end zone. poor tom brady. to go right for that guy. [ laughter ] a huge tv audience, 53 million
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brady play for the 17th careers. game was on cbs. this is peyton manning, not eli manning. eli plays for giants. make the playoffs, which cbs new york seemed unaware. >> later tom brady and eli manning could face off one last time this weekend, from favoriteite food, how the two men differ off the field. >> jimmy: well, they got the tom brady part right. i do the same with kylie and kendall which is which. in elk mont, alabama, last weekend a dog got loose and the dog happened upon a half they had a half marathon going on. the dog saw all the people and just started running with them. you see the dog there. she's a 2 1/2-year-old hound dog named sounds like some medication for menopause. she did well. she finished seventh place. she might have finished higher
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in a while to sniff everyone's butts. imagine committing months and months to training for a half marathon, random lost dog get in the race, beats you. the new hair bun. send that dog to kenya. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. very loud. [ cheers and applause ]bubble wrap day. you know da vinci invented that thing. earlier it's very cold on the east coast. it's very not cold here. it was sunny and 71 degrees today in l.a. and we have a tendency to --e ] >> jimmy: to rub it in. well, like we just did there.
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are tagging their friends in new york in pictures of themselves sunbathing, wearing short shorts, just to be't approve of this kind of taunting. we sent cousin sal to the beach where people were relaxing on the beach with a bucket of karma on his mind. >> i'm ley and we're from usc. >> hope you're having fun in that blizzard. >> wish you could be here in sunny california. >> but you can't because you're snowed in!'re snowed in! you're snowed in! >> just want to wish everybody back east a [ bleep ] up winter. go see "the revenant" and me. >> sal: snowballed!
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come on, dog. >> slip on the ice, i'm on the sand, call me and i'll tell you how warm it is here. >> sal: snowballed! she's >> i'm darius from southern california. i hope you're having fun in the snow, suckers! >> sal: snow bucket! >> have fun blizzard in jersey, wouldn't trade places with you guys for anything. >> sal: snow bucket, snowballs! >> hope you'reblizzard. >> sal: snowballs! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he better not be here. we're going to take a break. when we come back, i'm gune usually hits me with
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when we come back i will dissect tonight's episode of "the bachelor" and chris pine is here to close downound! [ cheers and applause ] phistication stand out. those who dare to redefine it stand apart. and rx hybrid. never has luxury been this expressive. uit
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] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. chris pine, lena headey,om panic of the disco. we have an important episode of "the bachelor" to go through. if you missed it you're not living your life if you're not watching "the bachelor" every the gang went to las vegas tonight. they rounded them up, stuck them
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to vegas for ntic moments like this. >> cheers. i do think our ride'sp it. >> jojo's taking a helicopter, i knew it. >> oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] unfortunately they were blown over the side of the building the show's over. they're dead. that was the one-on-one date. during the group date, the ladies were asked/forced ton a talent show. which is a big reason why these women are on "the bachelor" in the first place, becauselent. their talent is looking good in a cocktail dress. it's kind of an unfair position to put them in. during the talent show, olivia who's taken over as the nuttye bolted the show
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wearing skimpy lingerie awn jer way at a ventriloquist show. it was more a cry for help thant show. that was nowhere near as awkward as when ben the bachelor went to the twins' house. they have twins on the show. halley and emily. who happen to live in las vegas.en to their mom's house. where he eliminated one of them. at mom's house. one of them. even though as you can see here there's a very godoesn't know which one is which. >> being here today has been really nice for me to see. this is a unique situationt how much i do care for you and for you. >> jimmy: whatever. whatever your names are. being the identical twin that gets eliminated? i find you attractive, i just don't like your personality. did you watch "the bachelor"o? >> guillermo: no.
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>> guillermo: i'll dvr but i haven't watched it. >> jimmy: but you do have it on your dvr? >> jimmy: okay, good, all right. back to the snow. on the east coast a lot of the schools will be closed tomorrow, which is great if you're a kid. not so great for parents, ts who work. so tonight i think we found a way to make this fun for everyone. here now to sing some of tomorrow's real school closingsual schools that will not be in session tomorrow please welcome chris pine, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] hey, jimmy. ladies and gentlemen, back east it's real cold. us here in california, the warm center of the universe, we'd like to say a couple things. weather outside is snowy look at that
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onight i'm here to let you know which schools are closed schools are closed schools are closed kids ac men necessary middle school charles j. hudson too marksville elementary demy woodland high center john e. dwyer tech lake school and alexander hamilton prep aquinas mon jerome dunn academy saint hubert saint tom st. schools are closed schools are
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play x-box and eat cheetos oh you're in luck learningo home schools are closed [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: two sets of mittens, everybody. and no shoes. chris pine! tonight on the show, music from panic at the disco,ight back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by icy hot smart relief tens turn on smart relief and turn off pain in your back, hips
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight from "game of thrones" and the new movie "pride and zombies," lena headey is here with us. then the new album premiered at number one on the billboard charts. it's called "death of a bachelor." panic at on the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night jack black, music from linita smith. later this, ewan mcgregor, alison brie, hannibal burress, music from banners and tory lane so please join us for all that. you know our first guest "star trek" series, "into the woods," starting friday he takes to the sea in
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please say hello to chris pine! first may i say, you really have a beautiful singing voice. it's really unbelievable. >> man, i had so much fun with that. >> jimmy: and you smell good too which makes sense forose name is pine. >> i doused myself by patchouli. >> jimmy: that is what that is? >> i'm in a patchouli t's not a good thing. >> i think it is, no? >> jimmy: no, it isn't. it goes -- yeah. i know it smells nice now.hum ly pa chulely, people say i don't have to bathe anymore, i have patchouli. >> i think delicately done. >> jimmy: i hate to put you on the spot. i have a two of us. >> shoot.
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guys billy and sean. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]re. they're here from cleveland. >> where are you from? cleveland, ohio? >> jimmy: they're here --ou about it. i know you were changing. billy was -- billy's aunt -- bi to get his cousin into porn. [ laughter ] >> legitimately? you into porn? >> jimmy: no, no, no. >>my: he's in online high school -- >> what? >> jimmy: porn is what it means. >> is there online high school. >> jimmy: he's going to it. he's the quarterback of the football team. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> that is a killer >> jimmy: that's right. yeah.
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>> that's very : i believe that's patagonia, yes? >> you're right. >> jimmy: there you go, okay. so we'll get sweaters like that. pick whichever one you want to be.ing to have to play you. you being the more handsome one.writes itself. >> when do we start? >> i'm preceded. >> jimmy: production begins tonight. >> tonight, yeah. >> jimmy: we have to do it quick before tragedy befalls. flew in from london? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're working, i presume? >> i'm doing a film called "wonder woman." >> jimmy: oh, you play wh. [ cheers and applause ] >> very progressive >> jimmy: you're in "wonder woman." >> i tray steve trevor, for you that know the lore,tter half.
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there's a mr. wonder woman, i didn't know that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they're not married, though, right? >> i mean, fine details of it. but -- yeah. i'm a stay at home dad kind of guy. >> jimmy: wonder woman's married, wow. what is it like to play a yfriend? you don't see that very much. >> it's great. >> jimmy: do you have powers? >> none. absolutely none. >> jimmy: who talked you into >> you know, it's -- i seek out -- a lady named gal gidot's in it. >> jimmy: i see her in trailers and stuff. xrp applause ] >> she's doing a wonderful job, remarkable job. >> jimmy: do you fly the invisible plane? is that part of the thing, the invisible plane? >> the invisible immy: you don't know -- wonder woman has an invisible plane. she doesn't have it in the movie?
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invisible plane. >> jimmy: wonder woman flies in an invisible plane. you just see her in the sky doing this. does she have the golden lasso? specifics. wow. i don't know if you're pulling me leg or if there really isn't an invisible plane. i hope there is.. >> there's all sorts of fun stuff. it takes place in world war i . really honestly, for all of these big-time films, they're fun and whole bit, i'm being honest. i think what's really neat about it is with all of the -- whatever, the thor's, captain feel with men it's always this revenge cycle thing. an eye for an eye. we're going to get the bad guys and the the bad guys are defe lovely having a woman at the helm of something like this, by virtue of her being a woman, there's a great deal more compassion and love at the center of the story. whic as a
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the kind of eyes that will watch it, i think it's a wonderful -- the little bit that we can do to hopefully inch this univeomething not as aggressive. >> jimmy: because you look at "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette." when there are more women in the house it tends to be more aggressive. whatever.now if you guys are using that as a model? >> we have both of those women in the film, yeah. >> jimmy: is it fun to be in london shooting?yable being over there? >> yeah, it is. i mean, i work a lot so i don't get much time. this is the third film i've done over there. but it'ss -- spent a year in leeds during college, which is in the north of england. i've spent a great deal of time over n you're away what do you miss about being -- you're from l.a., grew up here. miss? >> get off the plane, get in the car, go straight to on sunset boulevard.
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>> tacos delta. they make incredible mexican food. favorite spots. >> jimmy: what do you get, what do you order? >> huevos rancheros -- time of day. >> jimmy: do they have mexican food in london? >> they -- [ laughter ]s -- [ laughter ] >> it's a salsa thing.'t do. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. yeah, yeah. >> at all. >> jimmy: probably because there aren't that many mexicans over>> probably. >> jimmy: probably has something to do with that. guillermo, that's how we're going to make our millions, open a mexican restaurant in london. >> guillermo: that's a great: yes. we need you. all right, we're going to take a break here. we got chris pine with us, the
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[ chuckles ] wait.
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>> the engine died!ot it, i got it! >> you've got about five seconds, boys! >> fire it up!is chris pine in "the finest hour" out friday. you know, casey affleck, your costar, was as talking about it saying it was terrible shooting the movie because you're basically drowning the whole time. >> i mean, it's 12 hours a day they have these huge fans that blow wind in your face. then they have these machines to make fake snow. they've giant dump tanks full of hundreds of gallons of water that somehow in four months of shooting they neverw to heat.
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mass. these giant sardine can buildings where they built ships back in the day. >> jimmy: i think you did a nice job with the boston accent. with that accent. you have to because if you don't people in boston -- >> jimmy: you'd never be able to go there. >> no, no. >> jimmy: they are very critical. of almost everything, really. >> i mean for -- we'd have the teamsters and then the grips and then casey and then ben om boston. i had a whole group of people that were there to -- well, giving me what they thought were helpful hints, which just turnedust awful. >> jimmy: really? >> just like little -- they're little people in your ears talking about, it's not like that, chris, it's not like hat are the subtleties that they thought you were missing?
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always got me was the "o." like e a broad californian "not." noooo ochlt o nooooh. boston goes naught. bought. you still over that vowel. >> jimmy: like the patriots are naught in the super bowl. [ laughter ]ght? >> dicky: they're not, jimmy. >> jimmy: they are not.aught. so i heard you did standup comedy, when was that? >> i didn't do -- as in like a progressive -- i did it once. forfive minutes. back -- this thing called the william sound theater festival outside of new york. every summer people make theater. for the summer and he was kind of the --
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we'd have cabarets twice a summer. he gave a standup class, we all had to prep material and do five minutes onstage for everybody. which was -- which was i'm suren it would be at the laugh-in. you have a bunch of people that like you and want you to do well so it wasn't all that awful. it was the closest i felt to feeling >> jimmy: what did you talk about? >> what was my bit? i think i talked about what parents make you do when youatever it is. so i talked about my father -- t me from the porch while my mom dragged me to sunday school. then i had a bit aent to this camp when i was a kid where they made you -- they
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day but with a garden hose. what? >> i'm talking about this. >> jimmy: are you sure this wasn't prison? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the other kids, tough and tattooed? >> yeah, i only got shanked three times. so the garden hose thing. and then there was a -- like infestation. so half the time we would be hunting squirrels. >> jimmy: with guns? >> yes, about it guns.this was just to keep the population in check. this is not like -- it wasn't for gross sport, killing my: right. >> and -- i remember going out and i clipped -- i felt awfully about it -- i clipped this poor squirrel in the tail. about it. ran back to my -- we didn't even have tents. we were sleeping outside.
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>> ran to the fire hose, thehose. anyway. it didn't go as dark as i planned it to go. >> jimmy: wow, this sounds more like therapy than standup comedy. never went back again. i thought it was an entertaining five minutes. this is why i'm not a standup comedian. [ cheers and applause od, you great. "the finest hours." it's a true story, opens on friday. >> true story. >> jimmy: and look for chris andsean, that will be coming out at a date tbd.
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nd applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from panic at the disco. our next guest is the world's l queen. you know her from " game of thrones." next, you can see her fight the literary undead in " pride and prejudice and zombies." it opens in theaters next friday.
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this every time but it's always weird to see you in regular clothes looking like a regular person and not a royal. >> evil queen, vil royal. by the way, congratulations. i know you have a baby. time you were here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a little girl. you're enjoying her? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah, good, good. >> i'm enjoying her not so much att night they're not as much fun. >> no, they love the waking. >> jimmy: is she sleeping? >> no. >> jimmy: no, no. >> i like to go in and say, what are you doing? for hours on end. >> jimmy: at least she's smiling. not crying. >> totally smiling. >> sometimes if ting like that, you realize they grow up crazy. >> that is possible. >> jimmy: that happened to me,
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were shooting "game of thrones" the last season? >> yes. towards the end of the season. >> jimmy: towards the end of the season.e, which is really i think one of the great scenes in the history of television, where the shame,nd circe's walking through the people, is that why they digitally put your head on >> no. >> jimmy: that's not why? >> i'd like to claim that was it was an intense three days of complete nudity. and because of the show, because people know it and they know us, for my liking. >> there's a lot of -- >> i know those people now. >> jimmy: not exactly a closed set, yeah. it's your head and put it on another person's body. i mean, it really is like science fiction. it's unbelievable. >> it's and yeah, i wish they
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>> would you want boobs?dy have them, but thank you. i saw a photograph of you having -- getting lice pulled out of your head? >> i don't know whatt. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, did you have lice? >> i did have lice. >> jimmy: you did have lice. who gave you lice? >>immy: for mother's day? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> it was a late mother's day gift. >> jimmy: wow. lice is still going on, huh? >> it is, yeah. hair so i feel blessed. >> jimmy: that lice like clean hair? >> yes. >> jimmy: is that what the guy with the tweezers told you? >> yeah, you're fine. >> jimmy: it's really a dplimt. >> a huge compliment from nature. >> jimmy: where was this? in england or this was >> jimmy: it was here? >> that's kind of weird. i thought, no, that can't happen to me.i was 7, my
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in the kitchen. i went to the lady and i was like, i'm sure i haven't. she went, oh, you do!w does the lady at the lice place not have lice all the time? >> they kind of tie everything up. it's a whole crazy thing. >> jimmy: were you mad at your son for giving you lice?o. >> jimmy: do you watch "the bachelor"? >> i've never seen it. >> jimmy: you've never seen it? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. well, of course one of the great things that you do on "game of thrones," your character, you say the meanest things in a veryu insult the others. you actually threaten them, that sort of thing. and this happens on "theell with the women. and they also are drinking, as you do. so i thought it might be fun. we put some of the real lines
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them in character, if you would. >> okay. >> jimmy: i know you're not dressed for it. but we do a goblet of wine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we had fun theere here, you read some things in character. now these are actual lines from "the bachelor" this season. so just go ahead and lookre you go. >> i'm blind. >> jimmy: we'll give you mood lighting to set it up. >> i don't thinkrl here who's competition. i think i'm way prettier than everyone else. [ cheers and applause ]ing to punch her in the face. like seriously.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think her boobs are okay. but you can tell that they're fake. and her breath is horrible. i wonder if they've kissed because i'm sure he smells what i smell.p ] bitches. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. i hope you don't mindfy drink this. >> i put nits in it. >> jimmy: tell us about ejudice and zombies." how did zombies get in there? >> it's a classic retelling of "pride and prejudice." it's kind of bonkers and fun and weirdly has aindie vibe to it.
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do crazy things sometimes. and i was like, why not? sounds like a good , well, it's definitely not a great title. this is based on a true story? >> yes. yes, it's currently happening. od to see you. thank you for doing this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i got caught up in it, "game of thrones." lena headey, "pride and prejudice and theaters next friday. be right back with panic at the disco." [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to chris pine, thanks to lena headey,t damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first their album is called "death of a bachelor." here with the song the disco! tonight we are victorious
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all my friends were glorious victorious oh oh oh oh ohh-- victorious oh oh oh oh ohh-- double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine skin as cool as steve mcqueen king we will love until it's not i'm a killing spree in white eyes like broken christmas lights my touch is black and poisonous and nothing like i know you need it do you feel it drink the water drink the wine oh we gotta y livin' like a washed-up celebrity
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like it's the fourth of july right until we feel alright i'm like a scarf trick the sleeve i taste like magic waves that swallow quick and deep throw the bait shark bleed the water red fifty words for murder and i'm every one of them my touch is black and poisonous my punch drunk kiss i know you need it do you feel it drink the wine oh we gotta livin' like a washed-up celebrity shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of julyictorious champagne pouring over us all my friends were glorious tonight we are victorious tonight we are victorious
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tonight we are victorious oh we gotta turn up the crazy livin' like a washed up celebrity shooting fireworks it's the fourth of july until we feel alright until we feel alright until we feel alright we are victorious champagne pouring over us all my friends were glorious
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