live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" zach galifianakis. from "dirty grandpa," aubrey plaza. and music from weezer.he cletones. and now, you may or may not

>> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the watching. thank you to all of you for coming to visit us here. in beautiful hollywood, california, where awards season is upon us. theil next month but there is a major controversy. this year for the second year in a row all the acting nominees are white. some of them are very white, them are like unforgivably white. and so jada pinkett smith made at this, spike lee wrote a lengthy facebook post. even the usually mellow snoop dogg is upset. >> i'm not going to w oscars. no, why do i watch that [ bleep ] for. it ain't got no [ bleep ] nominated. all the great [ bleep ] stealing

[ bleep ] you.sn't mean us. he means them. you is them. he likes us. still upset about getting snubbed for "soul plane." you know? he didn't even get a that. so anyway. so there's a lot of anger directed at the academy right now whose fault is this? is this the academy's fault, for not recognizing minority hollywood's fault for not giving them enough roles to warrant more consideration? or is it matt damon's fault? [ laughter ] which i kind [ cheers and applause ] -- is on him. to get a sense of what's going on with all this we have academy of motion picture arts and tewart bloom with us to talk about the controversy via satellite. hi, there, stewart. first of all, thank you for joining us.g me, jimmy. >> jimmy: i know this is a big issue for you. something you take very seriously. what will the academy do now? what action will it take and taking? >> well, our plan is to make

not just in the future, now. >> jimmy: how will you do ityou make it right now? >> well, we're modifying many of the oscar nominated films to be more inclusive. >> jimmy: what does that mean, modifying? g short" nominated for best picture is being changed "to the big shouty." >> jimmy:ty, right? >> shawty, yes. it's like the song "buy you a drink shawty." is that little bow-wow? that is little bow-wow. >> that is little bow-wow, yes, it is. >> jimmy: how are you going to add little bow-wow to the movie itself? >> through cgi, jimmy. you can do anything. >> jimmy: all right. right. >> i just -- here's another one, we added some flava to. >> jimmy: you did? >> yes. the film "room" larson and jacob tremblay.

starring queen latifah. and kevin hart. >> jimmy: isn't thatt a comedy. >> "room" is not a comedy, yes. you're correct, but "crib" is and it's hilarious. >> jimmy: okay. >> k5-year-old kid. i think he can win this one. >> jimmy: is that it? what else are you working on? or is that the extent of it? >> no, no, no. we h going to become "the revenant al sharpton." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]is hair is like that because he got attacked by a bear. >> jimmy: i've always wondered that. makes sense. >> oh, and "the martian" becomes "the martin."i like that. okay. >> and did you see the movie "steve jobs"? >> jimmy: i did, yes.rd consideration that will now be called "steve harvey." >> jimmy: okay.

the movie though?new version steve accidently announces the iphone 5 instead of the iphone 6, then he has to go back and apologize. >> jimmy: all right. that's even more fun in a way.eers and applause ] stewart, do you think these changes will solve this problem? >> oh, jimmy, i am sure of it.ing our own hashtag, it's #gettingjiggywitit.. i appreciate that. i tell you something, if you work on a problem you come up with a solution. so thanks to stewart for that. [ cheers and applause ]hey, you know, the governor of new jersey chris christie was in council bluffs, iowa, he's looking to drum up support ahea and he did that by holding a town hall meeting in a restaurant where an 11-year-old boy grilled the governor about

about the lunches, because, okay, it was fine when mrs. bush was the first lady but now that lady, they've gone down. and i used to eat all the lunches, like square pizza. not gluten-free stuff. >> jimmy: the first thing is we have an 11-year-old who says he -- his school lunches were better when laura bush was the he bush's left office seven years ago which he would have been, best case scenario, 4 years old. for argument's sake, let's is some kind of genius who got into kindergarten when he was 2 and has fond memories of the crispitos and square pizza he used to eat when his baby teeth were still that said -- how do you as chris christie respond for this mini doogie houser's request forol lunches? >> the first lady has no

okay? i mean, really. she has no business being involved in it. but using the government to iew of what people should be eating every day is none of her business. it just isn't. so i want people to eat more healthy. healthy. we all should be trying to do that. it makes us better, live longer, better quality of e rest of it. but in the end, it's your choice. >> jimmy: if kids had a choice they would eat nothing but skittles all day. [ laughter ] they would have skittles for breakfast and slurpees for lunch.ion is this? by the way -- why in the world would chris christie even comment on this subject? this is an enormous man.ainst healthy school lunches? just from a pure pr standpoint, chris christie standing up for izza is like bill cosby doing an ad for lunesta.

[ audience moaning ] oh, thank you. do you think once you have a rubber band surgically tied around your stomach maybe you would shy away from a subject like that. to me seems pretty clear, chris christie is in the pocket of hot pockets. [ laughter ]mp got a major endorsement today from none other than sarah palin. she agreed to endorse him and he agreed to let her shoot that f his head. trump called palin a "high-quality person," which is important, you don't want one of those low-quality crappyronk out right after the warranty expires endorsing you. but here's sarah palin in iowa just a few hours ago. >> you quit footing the bill foroil rich we're paying for some of their squirmishes that have been going on for centuries, where they're r and yelling allahu akbar, calling

forever and ever.re, let them do you believe it out and let allah sort it out. >> jimmy: is she still talking? [ applause ] by the way, in case you don't happ war. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yassid -- i hope i'm pronouncing his name right. but the world's oldest man, he's he passed away today. i guess in retrospect the surprise party was not a good idea.pretty sure he's the one in the middle. he said one of the secrets to his long life was to, quote, not overdo it. and i don't know, isn't living inition of overdoing it? his dream, this is very sweet. his dream was to live long e movie "ride along 2" and he made it.

[ applause ]. television history was made this weekend. "sesame street" which has been elevision for free for the past 45 years, on saturday officially made the move to hbo. new episodes will air first on er that. of course "sesame street" is a family show and hbo has a very adult audience. we did something to help them satisfy audiences of all ages.dio from "girls," the hbo show, with the video from "sesame street" and y wins. >> what did he have to say for himself? also, real quick before you i just want to get that out of the way. so. >> beg your pardon? >> you didn't tell me so. >> i'm sorry. i seem to recall actually saying to your face that your father was a homosexual. ut you think everyone's a homosexual. >> most people are. >> you told me barack obama was

>> he reads "bi."immy: all right. i like it. we have to take a break. when we come back the worst online passwords of the year have been announced. yours is on the list.with barbie which i will share after this, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]

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welcome back to the show. zach gala fa knack dis, aubrey plaza, and music from weezer is on the way.ring everybody down, but -- "penthouse" magazine which has been in business since 1965 will no longer continue in print.

young to remember, magazines were like paper versions of the d of clearing our browser history you would hide them under your mattress. "penthouse" magazine will still be available online, same deal ing to stop printing soon. they were very different magazines. "penthouse" you couldn't even pretend you wereticles. "penthouse" was more of an anatomy lesson. the worldwide wide web which is sad for me because i guess it means my "dear letter is never going to get published. it was all lies anyway. it's okay. there was a twitter outage this morning. a global twitter outage. twit which is scary because, you know, the only social media outlets we had for six hours was facebook, youtube, snapchat, instagram, and vine. i thought of something very clever this morning. i was forced to share it with my wife.n get a like. it was terrible. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i actually think -- i actually think it's good when twitter

it's nice.e great if all social media went down at random times for a few hours every couple days just to remind people there's a world, like a ashtags are pound signs the way god intended them to be. this is good.nto raptors beat the orlando magic in a special nba game they played in london. it was the third time now that raptors guard demarco rosenn london. before the game he took time out to crunch the numbers.out of here 1 -- 1-3. >> 1-3? >> this will be my third game here. 1-2. you know what i mean. >> no, i don't. >> you played that means -- >> three games. >> but you said 1-3. >> if we win -- >> 1 for 3. >> 1, 4, 3?

>> usc, baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: those two guys are a show. i have some important ing your cyber security. the annual list of america's worst passwords is out. once again the worst passwords of the year are "password." who does that? these must be the same people who have children name their teddy bear teddy, right?ds inspired by "star wars" made the list including solo, princess, and "star wars." "star wars" which i guess it makes sense when you think about it, the whole first movie is about a stolen password. but experts are saying do not use the word "password" in your ly do not make your pass board 123456. as a general rule, this is a good thing to remember. if you can remember your password it's no good.

this is something -- may i have i mentioned this. this is the hello barbie. this is a new doll from mattel. it connects to wi-fi. it actually interacts with your kid.s voice in realtime. sends it over wi-fi to the cloud in a bank of some sort of artificial intelligence servers what your it gets sent back and spoken by barbie. like this. hello, barbie. >> hello. hi.ng around with different hairstyles. can you help me pick out the perfect one for today? >> i think the one you have is ou so much. i always love your look. how do you think i should wear my hair today? >> jimmy: anyway.ervous when a toy comes to life because when a toy comes to life you don't know if you're going to get like a buzz lighnow? i've been spending time with hello barbie and she interacts

little bit less. remind me to take your car in tomorrow morning. >> what's something you would >> jimmy: about being a what? >> helping animals is a really terrific goal. have you always been so helpful?d recollection mind me to take your car in in the morning. >> hey, you know what? let's pretend that there's a sick puppy and i will be your veterinarian's assistant. okay. here we go. oh, dear.ok at that adorable puppy. his eyes are watering. his nose is stuffed up. and he just looks so tired.est veterinarian ever? >> jimmy: that's really how you would talk if you were my veterinarian assistant?hought of a song about being a veterinarian. check it out.

a vet you've got theyou'll make it i bet you their pet quite there yet there's plenty of time to live your dream whether saving animal or eating ice cream ick and it's here before you know it let's hear it for the vet and let's show it meow meow meow woof woof woof [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. we have music from weezer, aubrey plaza is here, and we'll

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rs and applause ] >> jimmy: here on the show, tonight, from the new movie "dirty grandpa," aubrey plaza is here. then, their new self-titled 1st.

"the white album," weezer from the samsung outdoor stage. you can see weezer live on tour with panic at the disco all summer.ight, casey affleck will be here, vanessa hudgens will join us, and we'll have music from savages. and on thursday, zac efron, malin akerman, and music from ben harper and the innocent criminals. please join us for all that.tonight is a very talented actor, comedian out of north carolina. he has a great new show called remiers on fx on thursday night at 10:00. please welcome zach galifianakis. [ cheers and applause ] it's very good to see you. it's been a long time since i saw you. >> it's been a fhere, jimmy. >> jimmy: kind of a long time. you had a baby since then.

i have -- [ cheers and applause ]old son. i forget his name. but, yeah, it's fun. my son likes political humor. >> jimmy: he does? >> yeah. jokes that i do for him. do you mind if i -- >> jimmy: not at all, no, go ahead. >> it's a usual. you just be the -- >> yeah. okay. knock knock. >> jimmy: who's there? i didn't know if h >> sorry. >> jimmy: start over again? >> take again. knock -- it's a political joke. knock knock. >> jimmy: who's there? >> benjamin netanya -- >> jimmy: benjamin netanyahu? [ cheers and applause ] that.

you're a good father? >> yeah, i like being a dad. it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: what's the best part about being a dad? making breakfast with him and i'm trying to get him to be a triathlete right now. >> jimmy: you are? >> just force him to do it. >> jimmy: it's only way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the worst part of being a dad for you? the triathlon, that whole thing. >> jimmy: it's tough. >> yeah, it's tough. >> jimmy: can i just -- real sorry. i don't want to say anything. your -- [ laughter ] they seem fuller than i think the last time you were here. they have -- >> it's showing a bit? i'm half greek so that's probably it. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah.ause i mean -- really, it seems like they're -- i don't know. maybe you could use like a trim or something like that? >> all right. >> jimmy: i'm sorry.ith you.

was trying to set myself apart.tylist and eyebrowist told me that -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a eyebrowist? >> i have an eyebrowist. and they're a team.now, let it grow out. and this is the new look that's -- that's going to be sweeping the nation.. and did they split like each take an eyebrow or how does it work? >> i have four people for each brow. >> jimmy: you do? [ laughter ]. >> no, in all seriousness, this whole thing, i didn't know it was going to show up. i'm a little embarrassed. >> jimmy: it does read on camera. >> they told me it wasn't going to read. but it's a side effect for some medication that i'm taking. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i didn't mean to -- body dysmorphia. >> jimmy: you do? that's where you don't like certain parts of your body. >> well, i think i'm short. >> jimmy: so you think you're

real life. i know i'm not. in real life i'm like 6'5" but this condition i have i think i'm short and i take this -- i can't remember the name of it. >> jimmy: you can't remember the name of the medicine? >> that's another one of the side effects.ally? loss of memory? >> yeah, loss of memory. i have sausage toes. >> jimmy: oh, no. it sounds delicious. >> rainbow shaft. ow shaft? i didn't -- >> candy ass of the penis. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh.maybe we feel like i've traveled into territory i shouldn't have. we'll let it all out. don't worry. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] shorts

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your order? >> what do you want? >> tangerine fanta, please. >> tangerine fanta, please. >> we do not have that. >> they do not have that. >> tab, that's fine. >> just a tab then. >> no. >> no.ime? >> pepsi lime? >> we have coke. >> they have coke. >> new or cl >> regular coke.

>> just a schweppes then. >> did you say -- schweppes?yeah, schweppes. >> you're breaking up, say it one more time. >> schweppes. >> i thought i heard two people. again. >> schweppes! >> zach galifianakis, brand new show called "baskets" and premiers on thursday night on fx.t the screener copy of the show and i was intending to watch one so i knew what was going on before you came on. and i watched all five of the available shows.e of them? >> jimmy: there are five of them, yeah. >> wow. >> jimmy: it's very funny. my wife was angry with me. she came home from dinner and ve and i watched them all without her so we're going have wait a month and half to catch up.

where i play -- my: is that your own hair? >> yeah, from other parts. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: it looks -- reak. >> jimmy: it looks like you're going through some sort of radiation treatment now. >> sorry. >> jimmy: oh, now, that's better. >> that looks better?you look like you should be in the new star trek movie. >> but -- what were we talking about? oh, the tv show. >> jimmy: the show. >> it's about a weird -- it's a a bitter rodeo clown who studies clown theory in france and moves back to bakersfield to become a rodeo clown.lays my mom in it. >> jimmy: i was going to ask you about that because louie anderson, the comedian, best performance on the celebrity diving show "splash." >> i heard about that. yeah. i didn't see that. >> jimmy: he was great on that. >> yeah, lays 84 mother and

throughout the whole show. >> yeah. and we -- i couldn't figure out who to cast in it. >> jimmy: yeah. n louis ck's the producer. and i said to louis ck, i don't know, i just keep hearing a voice in my head. i imitated the voice. louis csw like louis anderson's voice? and i said, yes. i said yes. that's how he got cast in the show.e him. >> jimmy: is this the first show you worked on with louis ck? the first project you've done together? >> yes.louie -- i don't know if he would remember this but he called me to go across country with him and his dog. but that -- we never got around to doing that. so now we're just -- re doing this? >> we're doing this instead. >> jimmy: who is the woman that plays your friend/assistant in the clip?kelly and she's the worst improv actress

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think she's fantastic in the show. eally good in the show. she's a friend of mine. we used to do open mikes together in culver city. i just -- through the years id to try to use her in something, she always would say no. but i think she said yes to this because she was living with her parents in torrance. [ laughter ]ated her. >> jimmy: solid reason. >> yeah, yeah. lucky to have her, very lucky. >> jimmy: why do you say she's the worst improv actor?hen i will do an improv, usually you're supposed to -- the tradition is you take a suggestion, you go yes, and you move it. this is martha. i would say a line and she would go, "well, t would be it. that was her improv. but we kept a lot of the well, ums. >> jimmy: she's got a lot of

>> jimmy: of somehow it works out well. other for how long? >> well, i mean, he -- he was median in new york when i was first starting. so he was -- i think he was writing on the david letterman show and i would see him and gigs and through the years i would see him and he called me to do this and i didn't have any and i still don't have any confidence now that i've seen it. but it's -- i'm just real lucky and happy that it's just this w, i'm kind of even will like it or not. it's weird enough that people will think it's interesting enough to think it's interesting. >> jimmy: with mainstream america it's not going to be the "big bang theory." but i thought it wasny. >> thanks, jimmy, very much. >> jimmy: i consumed it like raisinettes. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: not just for the movies, either.ome. >> what are raisinetes, old raisins? they have chocolate over them? e

you don't know raisinetes? >> i knew the california raisins years ago. >> jimmy: those are different gangs. >> i used to hang out with them. >> jimmy: no, no, no. those guys are totally different guys.ems. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. i'm so sorry about your health problems. >> thank you. thank you for understanding. thank you guys for understanding. [ cheers and applause ] gala fa knack dis. watch his show. it's called "baskets," it premiers thursday night at 10:00 on fx. we'll be back with aubrey plaza.] all right everybody, if this doesn't get your toes tappin',

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[ cheers and applause ] from weezer. our nextfunny person. we are so #blessed tonight. you may know from seven seasons on "parks and rec." starting friday you can see her and with zac efron in "dirty grandpa." please say hello to aubrey plaza. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: oh, well, that's nice. how are you doing?my: that's really nice of zach. he's got rainbow shaft. it's hard for him to do that kind of thing. this is an injury. not an affectation? >> jimmy: what happened to you? >> i tore my acl playing basketball. i had knee surgery. and i'm recovering. and -- icer to you now that you have a cast? do they have sympathy and do they react in a positive way? >> yeah. they -- i think they feel weird,on't know. i don't know. no. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> no. >> jimmy: you brought a photograph. you were in -- this is a serious thing. you were in a wheelchair for a while. >> yeah. e you in a wheelchair? >> i was only -- basically i tore my acl and the day -- the achelor weekend for my gay best friend and we did wine tastings. so they put me in a wheelchair ne a wine

should try it. >> jimmy: seems like the best way to do it. >> yeah, it's great because you don't know how drunk you are o stand. so you just -- >> jimmy: why may i ask is he dressed as santa claus? >> he's dressed as santa claus. wanted to go to mexico and we surprised him and we told him to just pack bathing suits and flip-flops but we actually took him up north where it was very cold.ed him another suitcase with just a santa costume in it. and that's all he had to wear all weekend. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> so we were -- yeah.und. and people were very afraid of our group. >> jimmy: i would think they would be, yeah. >> they stayed away from us. yeah. u're very funny in this new movie. >> "dirty grandpa." called "dirty grandpa." >> jimmy: how would you describe you're attracted to robert de niro. >> that's right. >> jimmy: how old is robert de niro?

>> jimmy: i'm sorry, bob.x with him on film. >> well, i did, so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and describe that experience.ovie is -- my character of lenore ve story. we're soul mates, you know. i'm going to spring break with my friends.ro's character lies and says he's a professor and my character has an obsession with having sex with a professor.d i'm going to [ bleep ] you, he's like, i'm going to [ bleep ] you, too. and then we do. but, yeah. >> what was the question? >> jimmy: i think, you know, i think it was -- well, it's crazy to see robert de niro in a ere you're

things to him. kind of like that's his character, you know? it's kind of like he's met his match with me. he's a dirty grandpa and i'm a dirty girl. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have a sex scene with him. >> we do, yeah. it was fun. >> jimmy: was it fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: people always say it's not un? for you it was fun? was it fun for him as well? >> i can't speak for him. you know, we -- it was a long day.e day for it. >> jimmy: they did, really? like how many hours? >> i would say about nine, a solid nine, maybe ten. interesting stuff that went down, you know? one thing in particular was the director who's british, dan ome and i loved him, he -- you know, it was a little bit of like weout the scene.

to go down so there were moments where dan would call me over and be like, in the next take, aubrey, why don't you suck on his nipples, try that. you want me to -- on robert de niro? and then he nipples. i would go and try to do it and i would try to get in there and suck on his nipples. he was like batting me away. and i didn't know if it was like in character or not because you >> jimmy: right, yeah, sure. >> and then they cut the camera and then dan called me back and t like his nipple area paid attention to. so don't do that. and i was like, great.at i wanted to do that and -- it was a lot of really fun moments like that. >> jimmy: do you feel like you an actor because i mean, he's one of the all-time greats? >> i don't know.

moments with him, like i mean, the first half of the shooting process i heard from my agent to his agent that he was legitimately scared of me. like i think because, you know, in the movie i'm playing a ot like a wig and i'm all like bronzed up and i'm acting like a drunk slut. and i'm not really like that.life. and i think every time i was around him it was right before we started shooting so i was all over him and i really freaked him out.moments with him like there's one scene where i have to throw up and in the first take i threw up and then i like tried to kiss him ke had a reaction where he was like, uh, like get away from me. and then when they cut the camera he was like, that was very good. that you had thrown up. [ applause ]

really dream of as an actor is making the idea that the guy from "cape fear" would be scared of you is funny too. >> i am terrifying. >> jimmy: where is that hospital issue? >> no, actually. my sister sent this to me as a joke for christmas. then it turns out that the joke is on me. could be your new thing. >> yeah. i don't know. canes.com, i don't know. the internet. >> jimmy: very good to see you. you're very funny in the movie. it's called "dirty grandpa." it opens friday.y! we'll be right back with weezer. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to zach laza, and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, their new self-titled april 1st.

for girls," weezer! [ the girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip in the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade and you may encounter dragons or ruffians to employ your testosterone in a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the tv and may receive many cuts bruises and scrapes and you will require band-aids and antiseptic ointments and tender loving kisses on your stab wounds ome she will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes and a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth and that's why you for girls holla jesu christe from tennessee to la thank god for girls

better bow down and pray she's he's so energetic in her sweaty overalls for girls thank god for girls thank god for girls i'm so to think of even though she isn't mine i think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's alive sweaty palms she almost had a heart just as scared i don't know how to act i wish that i could get to know her better but meeting upse the illusion to shatter i carved her name into all the trees sang a song down on one ke when i was fourteen i'm levitating like a magnet

with my pants pulled down rls holla jesu christe from tennessee to la on your reckoning day you better bow down and pray she's so big she's so energetic in her sweaty overalls thank god od for girls for girls thank god for girls thank god for girls god took a rib from adam entrifuge machine mixed it with cardamom and cloves microwaved it on the popcorn ike woo woo that really hurts going off into the tundra so pissed at god

messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea until god said ith loneliness and break your heart in two and adam wept and wailed tearing out his hair falling ked to the sky