. broken. a dark mystery explored. >> do you believe in evil? >> how could anyone have missedese signs? >> could you have prevented what happened to columbine? good evening.. tonight, a mother of one of the

what did the parents miss, and are they parents like us? a note tonight. sue klebold has written aok, "a mother's reckoning," and the proceeds will go to the foundation of america. and before sandy hook and virginia tech, it seems to have begun with columbine. 1999, a shock wave hits america. two high school boys in trench coats carrying shotguns, a homemade bombs walk into their school and begin the slaughter of their classmates, who were sitting on the grass eating their lunch, who were hiding under tables. no defense from the terror. 13 are killed.nded. and we are all watching for the first time.

school, fleeing mayhem. see a wounded student struggling out the window of his high school to and for the years to come, we would all be asking the same questions -- who were these killers? and what kind of parents could produce children like these? wasn't doing their job. >> reporter: for 17 years now, the parents of dylan klebold and eric harris have lived their secrets, unwilling to step forward.-haired woman makes her way into a room. in the course of this day, we see her rhaps grapple ing with her decision. being, she says, afraid and ashamed.

13 people who died and 24 people who were injured, most of them children. >> yes.t is it you want to say to them? >> the one thing, of course, i am so sorry for what my son did. yet i know that just saying i'm sorry is such an inadequate uffering. there is never a day that goes by where i don't think of the people that dylan harmed.he word harmed. >> harmed. i think it's easier for me to say harmed than killed. and, and it's still hard for me after all this time. >> reporter: is that about a deny what happened? or -- >> i don't know. perhaps. perhaps.to live with the fact that someone you loved and

people in such a horrific way. the last moments of his life were spent in violence, sadism. you know, he was cruel and hateful and -- and i have to own that.sitting there and reading about them. all these kids and the teacher. and i keep thinking, constantly thought how i would feel if it were the other way around and one of their children had shot mine. i would feel exactly the way they did. i know i would. >> you blame the parents? >> you bet. >> reporter: for all the parents who have said,mething." >> i know. >> reporter: i would've just known. >> before columbine happened, i

parents. i think we like to believe that our love and our understanding is protective. and that if anything were wrong know. but i didn't know. and i wasn't able to stop his hurting other people. i wasn't able to stop his hurting himself.ery hard to live with that. >> reporter: you called him the sunshine boy? >> yeah, we yeah. he had this sort of a mane of golden hair. and it was just always thick and round. and he was such a happy, little

>> reporter: she seems to beped in a contradiction. she has written a book called a mother's reckoning. in it she says all the lessons n on the day she "woke up an ordinary wife and mother fast forward 24 hours and i was the mother of a hate-crazed gunman." on april 20, 1999, she says was helping disabled college students. husband tom, a geophysicist, who it's an emergency. >> his voice sounded horrible. jagged and breathless. something terrible is going on at the school. >> reporter: he tells her two killers wearing trench coats are shooting kids at columbine high school. has called, worried that dylan might be involved. he wasn't there for morning class and he wears a trench coat. tom races through the house that coat. >> you always think somebody's making a mistake. >> reporter: it's not there. >> my first thought was, dylan who are these people that are hurting people? >> reporter: she has to drive 26 miles to get home. thoughts racing.

to talk myself down.es home. it is official, her son dylan is believed to be one of the shooters, and the shooting may not be over yet.she says a searing prayer no parent thinks they could ever pray. >> the police were there and the helicopters were going over. and i remember thinking, "if this is true, if dylan is really has to -- somehow, he has to be stopped." and that -- at that moment, i prayed that he would die. just make it stop. don't let him hurt anybody." >> reporter: and so her quest begins.she goes back over every year of her life with a magnifying glass. looking for the past of her son's descent, and the clues to all the that's coming up next. from the lindt master chocolatiers. a hard outer shell with a

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this "20/20" special continues, with diane sawyer. >> reporter: look at a kind of class picture.nes will grow up to be school shooters? almost two-thirds will be from two-parent homes. nearly half of the kids will do well in school. have been arrested before. and yet, every child you see here will become a school shooter. people. the child in this picture is dylan klebold. in her book, his mother writes he wasn't the pinwheel-eyed ow from cartoons. he was shy, likeable, with hands-on parents.d with stories and prayers and hugs. >> reporter: the klebolds, the family who lived in this house in the foothills of the rockies. their two sons named after famous poets.n her shiny penny. in gifted classes, loved little

and built tall ships out of legos. one puzzle, he'd dump them all into a big mountain so that he could solve five or six of them at the same time. >> reporter: sue klebold says he was easily embarrassed. tearful and hard on himself if he made a mistake. adolescence. >> he talked about looking he was a tall, gawky kid with glasses.s friends, goes out to parties. friday night bowling with friends. she says some of his friends decide it's cool to look different from the jocks. but didn't you wonder why he wanted a trench coat? what was that about? >> well, i -- i --rench coat? >> -- was the kind of kid who loved to look different. i mean, i -- i was an art major. >> reporter: she says she does notice something, that dylan good grades. he builds his own computer and spends more time alone in his room. and sometimes he is moody and irritable.

back over her life, she is her son is changing, but she writes off the changes as an adolescent phase.would seem -- you know, distant or quiet. and i remember asking him, "are you okay? are you sure you're okay? you seem so tired." and he'd stand up and say, "i've got a lot of homework.o bed." >> reporter: and you let it go. >> and i let it go. and that's the difference. i would dig. if it were me today, i would dig and dig and dig.those illusions that everything was okay, because, and more than anove with him, for him was so strong. i felt that i was a good mom. that he would, he could talk to me about anything.his was that learning that what i believed and how i lived and how i parented was an invention in my own mind. >> reporter: she says she hopes other parent think about what a child can be hiding. it's the summer after dylan's

columbine. she has a journal and in it ing, "things have been really happy this summer. dylan is yukking it up. having a great time with friends."-year-old son has begun a secret journal of his own and his first entry is this. "thinking of suicide." "i hate my life, i want to die.mily, good house, couple of good friends. no girls. nobody accepting me, even though i want to be accepted."ch nails song "hurt", and makes a list of all the people he loves who will never love. >> reporter: you can see him in this video. his junior year at columbine. he seems self-conscious. a little wistful. but talks about the future, the classes he'll take to help get into college.nces after high school as far as colleges go. maybe a scholarship? >> okay, let me ask you this,

or a group learner?t. >> reporter: but at this point, we want to be very clear -- treated and even suicidal depression is not an explanation or pathway to violence. but dr. gregory fritz, president of the american academy of childtry, wants to warn parents tonight that suicidal depression is real and can strike any teen anywhere. 20 percent of high school kids say that they have thought about suicide in the past year.eporter: let me repeat. 15% to 20% of adolescents cide. and that's at least one child in every american classroom. every 95 minutes, a young person will take their life. fritz says a lot of loving parents can miss something serious, sure that changes are just a phase. parent myself.

be so, i don't want to see it, t's just a phase." the good news is, oftentimes it is. it can lead us to have blind spots.ternet, thousands of kids make secret confessions. a teenage girl who seems to smile. >> just like this eternal sadness.r: a high school star who says teenagers are better than adults at hiding depression. they're so afraid of the stigma. at my life on the surface, you'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team.r roll and consistently at every party. so you would say i wasn't wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.this broadcast, we'll tell you more about spotting teenage depression, dr. fritz taking questions online. but more than 17 years ago, sue klebold said she knew so little about teen depression, thinking the big problem in her house was her older son >> wwe're human. distract us.

falling apart." >> reporter: and heading down a path of destruction. what happened at columbine? that dylan was experiencing some real mental distress, he would not have been there. he would've gotten help.r a moment, mean to imply that i'm not conscious of the fact that he was a killer, because i am. >> reporter: a year and a half before the columbine massacre, troubling events. he hacks into the school computer system with some friends. they are all suspended for three days. an epithet on a locker of a kid he thinks is taunting him. and then the big shock -- video talking about his future, he and another kid break into a van, steal electronic equipment and police make an arrest. two felony counts -- >> it was terrible, i know. absolutely. it was awful. and at the time, i thought that

>> reporter: dylan's cold est scared and shocked her. he acted as if he had done nothing wrong. she says she gave him one of her ith him. >> i even talked about the ten commandments. i said, "it's wrong to steal. under -- in no circumstances, is this -- this right."as most parents would. we took away privileges. >> reporter: she says a lot of days he was affectionate, e, applying to colleges. she didn't know he was writing in his journal how he "wanted to get a gun to use on a poor s.o.b." himself. one night, she's frustrated he's not doing chores.he refrigerator. >> i pushed his shoulder and i held my hand against him. and i said, you know, "you've got to stop thinking of yourself." the old mom lecture. and -- and then i said, "and, by

and you forgot it."ow that confrontation ended. i just remember he softly said, me. i'm -- i don't know how much i can control myself." it wasn't a scary ing nice to say, "back off, please." >> reporter: she says she blamed herself for pushing him too far. >> and then he went out and he got me a gift.ittle water can with african violets in it. and i thought everything was use he was so -- he was so sweet. >> reporter: and inside, on his way to becoming a mass shooter. continue telling this story without going back to another little face in that cwas with him breaking into the

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is there anything that may have stopped the massacre atlumbine? we study pieces of a puzzle. >> i couldn't believe that someone like dylan could intentionally hurt other people. it was inconceivable that that could be something he could do in

mary ellen o'toole, one of the world's leading profilers of the criminal brain. she has analyzed thousands of pages of evidence on columbine and she concluded there is a turn he's about to take. >> i don't think he waan. i think it evolved over time. >> reporter: you don't think school shooters just snap one day? >> absolutely not.here that -- where that has happened. i think he was in a very destructive friendship, which was very powerful.ul than what we think. >> reporter: which takes us to another house, another set of hands-on parents.red air force pilot wayne harris was like a leave it to beaver dad. >> of course i met his parents. we wouldn't have allowed our children to play with anybody arents or been in their home. >> reporter: their son eric has been a pal of dylan's since the seventh grade.too has begun to keep a secret journal. and his journal is filled with venomous threats, graphic

people who've insulted him, decapitated heads. according to o'toole, eric's blings signal a personality disorder. a psychopathic brain. he calls his writings "the book of god." >> these are people without a conscience.ut empathy. without guilt. >> reporter: but is eric harris really different from dylan klebold? another expert on columbine, n, insists he is. >> eric liked to draw weapons. he drew swastikas. he wrote about the nazis. now, dylan drew hearts. dylan wrote about his search for true love. eric, when he does refer to girls, is his fantasies of raping them. >> someone who really is psychopathic is incredibly charming, they're manipulative.g. >> reporter: eric writes about his ease, going back and forth in a double life. here he's in court after the arrest on the van incident talking to the magistrate with

get?d "b"s, your honor. >> what's your curfew? >> 10:00 on weekends and 6:00 on weekdays. >> reporter: the court sentences the boys with leniency. a year of counseling and community service.d has been told by another mother that eric harris is prone to angry, terrifying outbursts, but klebold thinks it's an overreaction because around her eric is so polite.so, like many other boys, they play video games like "doom." they both like violent movies f their own. trying on what it's like to be tough guys.nding to be heroic government agents, out to save the world. eric is smooth. >> i think we might have to get more weaponry. >> reporter: dylan stumbles. down. and there is something else

coming up in research about too. 85% of these shooters are adolescent boys. so many feeling rejected by girls. the experts point to a crisis in masculinity during puberty. they get from everything they're seeing.y films and so many you can pick up a gun and instantly you have power. >> reporter: eric writes, "everyone is always making fun of me because of how i look, how weak i am. guns -- i need guns."n asks for one too. >> he asked me if i would buy him a gun. >> reporter: what was your policy on guns in the house?

house. she used to look through his room during his junior year, but by his senior year she decides to respect his desire for privacy. with distance and regret she now says how wrong that decision was. would you ransack his room now? >> i would. i'd do it as if his it. and i would do it with love. now, in doing something like that, we are violating privacy.e roost? if that room that you pay the mortgage on is being cut off from you so you can't go in there, you have a problem. now, does that mean they're going to go out and commit a mass murder? to understand what's going on with them. >> reporter: the boys were hands on guns and hiding them. a girl, a school friend old enough to buy them legally bought them three at a gun show. and they get another gun, a private seller. they train at a range. eric harris now writes, we have guns. i feel more godlike.and dylan klebold writes he now has a choice. committing suicide or go nbk

nbk, "natural born killers," the violent revenge movie by oliver stone. which brings us to the central lebold. why did he go from suicidal to homicidal?th a kind of pathological virus or was it dylan's presence that reinforced eric's violent fantasies? do you think dylan klebold knew right from wrong? >> yes. absolutely he did. but it did not preclude him from being able to participate in theh with it, to enjoy the planning, and to carry it out. >> reporter: i think everyone can accept he was depressed. do you think he also had another mental disorder?

might've been.eve in evil? >> i don't think so. i don't think i do. >> evil is a spiritual term.sn't have any legal or behavioral meaning, and so i stay away from it.nt, the clock is ticking down. it is now two and a half months before the massacre. a mother worries about her withdrawn son but allows herself to be reassured when he is ly from community service with a glowing assessment of his bright future. >> he's a good kid. y about dylan. >> reporter: then one month before the massacre, a final warning signal.

him pulls out a gun and commits acts. the teachers call the parents in. >> she said it contained some bad language. and she said, well, i'll tell you what. i'll show it to the school counselor and see what he thinks.ou'll call us if you think there's a problem. >> reporter: the question asked is, why didn't you demand to see a paper that had worried the teacher enough to send it to a counselor. reached out to that school counselor, now retired, who read the story. he told us, in a pre-columbine world, he just didn't see it as that's not a rd flag that would be indicative of someone absolutely going out and becoming violent. flag to let's take a look at this young person. >> reporter: and o'toole says if it's striking what could have been

it turns out the boss at the here dylan worked had seen the two boys experimenting with a pipe bomb. eric had been sent to therapy, a specialist, a psychologist who issed the plan. and perhaps most shocking of all eric has a website. 10 pages of threats. police started to draw up a search warrant and then did nothing. 17o, they were all holding pieces of a puzzle, and no one put them together. >> if you're wondering why youn't heard from sue klebold's husband tom, she says they're

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ou autopsy says, byril 20th. >> we all got up very early. i hear him bounding down the stairs, past our bedroom door, and really going quickly and heavily out the door, as if he were late and i yell, "dyl," and he yelled, "bye," and then >> reporter: you said it was edgy, nasty -- >> it was. >> yeah, it was, "bye." >> reporter: her husband tom says he's going to talk to dylan when dylan comes home.

>> a community in shock. >> media attention from around bloodbath. >> dylan klebold. >> reporter: the klebolds flee their house, living, she says, like desperate nomads. despairing. the surreal agony of cremating her son. in her journal she writes, some days i was worried about losing my sanity.he goes back to the state community college system. >> i'd turn on a radio and people would be talking about me and calling me a disgusting person.a saving grace, the friends who still them. when they were in hiding, their neighbors posted a sign on the driveway. sue and tom, we love you. we're here for you. call us. and her colleagues at work help camouflage her presence, no sign on the door.aped with a different name. >> i did think about it. but the real thing that it-- i

changing my name and moving doesn't allow me to leave this behind. >> reporter: she says for monthsmind was looking for any way to deny the truth. maybe dylan was on drugs. maybe he was forced to be there.out to the victims' families, writing letters, but calling the incident a moment of madness. >> i believed this was a moment of madness. i believed this was some appened suddenly. >> reporter: then six months after columbine, her denial is shattered. a call from the lead investigator in the case who brings them face to face with the inescapable truth of the evidence. months of planning. in the purchase of the guns. and building 99 explosive d to detonate but were intended to kill hundreds and hundreds of people.

to the attack. for more than three hours, a twisted manifesto of hate.le to see those tapes. they were posturing. they were acting tough. they were talking about all the horrible things they were planning to do.t standing up, because i thought i was going to be ill. and like i might have to run out of the room. >> reporter: she will make merciless shot her son fired. she deci. >> i try to be as honest about that as i could. i didn't want to make it graphic. but i wanted to make it honest. because, you know, from a mother's perspective, of course, want to soften all the horrible things that he did. >> reporter: but as we said, she lives in the hell of that contradiction.id, i saw the end product of my life's work. i had created a monster.

love for a son she lost.the final word on the tape. he says, hey, mom. i got to go.ologize for any crap this may bring. just know i'm going to a better place. good-bye." >> he said, "mom."at he said it meant a lot to me. yeah.apes, never released. we're told they've now been destroyed. she writes in her journal, "all then, two years later, the woman who prayed to die is diagnosed with breast cancer.the treatment, something made her try to live r into purpose. >> you get to the point where you have to just sort of say, "i can't -- i can't stay with this level of intensity."

to let some of it rest and say, "i didn't kill these people. dylan did. it wasn't me." >> reporter: she says she begins a quest to learn about violence and what she missed. lessons in the book.ney. i want to make sure that we -- i give the money to mental health organizations and suicide prevention. and i don't know what else i can do.i had to do everything i could do. >> reporter: she talks to the parents of suicidally depressed kids about the way she wished dismissed, or tried to fix everything. >> you listen and you don't judge. and you don't react in terms of, think that. you can't possibly feel that way." says start by making time to sit in

you don't need to have answers. >> how did that happen?ble when that happened. i would have felt terrible. >> reporter: would you ask, "do you feel suicidal?" >> absolutely.orried about that, they should say that to -- they ask the kid. >> reporter: can you plant that idea in the mind of -- >> i've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of kids who've attempted suicide and they neverody asked me over." they're thinking about it long before anybody asks and oftentimes it's a relief to have somebody ask.lebold also talks to those other pariahs, the families of other school shooters. so we had a question, ric harris? does she blame them for what they missed? >> i don't blame them. i don't. >> reporter: have you talked to the harrises recently? >> i do talk with them occasionally.ble to represent and i want to make sure i protect their privacy. >> reporter: that is all she

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more shots being fired at the tower.

>> austin, texas, was held in hich began in killing and ended in killing. >> reporter: american television is riveted on a college student former marine charles whitman.ive father. he climbs to the top of the university of texas tower, shoots and kills 14 people, wounding 32 others before he is taken down.o believe, after whitman, it would be another 30 years before a school shooting with such a high death toll. columbine, there's a steady stream of assaults. law enforcement says 50 rampage otings and abc news has estimated at least 79 thwarted plots, more than half of them mentioning columbine. >> columbine was a new kind of shooting.mission. we're just seeing one right after another and each one learns from the other, which also is very concerning.g.

over the years and found that the number of younger shooters per year has more than doubled o'toole says she's worried about a generation raised on violence, videogames, movies.s study. it shows today, even a pg-13 film has triple the gun violence it used to have 30 years ago.u look at the shooters now, many of them were born into this culture of violence. that's what they grew up on. whether it's movies or books or social media.rdwired on violence. >> reporter: is this documented, though, that -- >> no. but i think many of my the same fear that this thing has morphed and changed since columbine. >> reporter: what role do you think access to guns played and plays in these?rry out a mass murder without weapons of mass destruction. you can't do it.

of school shooters get their at home. >> for example, japanese young men love violent video games. they buy more of them than we do.urders over there. >> reporter: she says it is a different culture. but also, in japan, it's difficult to get guns.s in japan in all of 2014. 33,000 here in the u.s. so what can we do about the shooting at schools? o'toole wrote the nation's manual on how to prevent them. through what's calle been thwarted, prevention can work, but how? in dozens of cases it is fellow students who have overheard something, tipped off to assess the seriousness. >> we could be having a very different news conference today had this plan gone through.cases, act on intuition. a clerk developing pictures at a drugstore.mbs with nails taped to them. >> reporter: police went to a home and found a vast arsenal of

mention of columbine.shooters are boys. and often, the tips come from girls. like katie.solutely terrifying to be the person who has to come forward and say this because you don't know. >> reporter: terrified, but making her choice. >> what if i didn't say something? i'd have to live the rest of my life knowing that.ike i was just as much to blame as they were if i didn't say something. >> all right, guys, see >> reporter: police officers like captain cheryl newman-tarwater in los angeles are asking for everyone's help in the race against time. her unit alone has 37 ongoing cases. about everyone tattling on each other, i'm going to tell on you. it's not about that. it's about looking at your g it to be as safe as possible and wanting to help folks get help if they need it.ike this young man, who has come forward in shadow to make an appeal. he was once a depressed teenager

against other students. but some of his classmates he says tonight how grateful he is. for his wife, family, career, and his second chance. the love of god, reach out and talk to someone. could be the school guidance counselor. if i can say something tonight, no matter how small it is, to maybe help even one person, who went through something similar ing through, then i guess it'd all be worth it. >> anyone can be the person who observes the behavior and decides that they will not interpret it themselves. most of the time, frankly, it is a nothing.'s just that one peek into what could be the next

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get in on this. it's refund season. we are very near my old house. >> reporter: sue klebold says today, joy is really just a ng. suffering like that of the victims' families. every single family. some of them expressed anger, like the father of , who said except for the letter she wrote, he never heard her say she's sorry. we don't know if he watched tonight, but this is what he said years ago.there's a false teaching that says forgive everyone, god

forgives the unrepentant.reland, the boy who tried to escape out the window and suffers traumatic brain injury, said he just wants to forget their names and move on. but other families told us they want to offer sue klebold their prayers and their grace.irst to die at columbine. her family has a foundation teaching forgiveness, because they say it's the way god flows ers. anne marie hochhalter, a bullet paralyzed her from the waist down.holding onto that anger does nothing. you know, it just brings you down. >> reporter: tom mauser, who wears his son's shoes as he makes his way through life on a mission. daniel, he fights to keep guns out of the hands of kids and criminals. he told us he actually met with sue klebold, and the meeting helped turn his anger into understanding.ight, she wants the families to know she's ready to offer anything else that will help. >> i don't want to impose myselfuse it has to be

healing and what they need. >> reporter: so many psentenced to a life of grief, with no parole. after our interview is over, sheills of the rocky mountains and tells us sometimes she finds herself drawn to a place that has a s -- "it brought a nation to its knees. what have we learned?" it's the columbine memorial.>> i feel, kind of, unwelcome there. like, you know, of course. that perhaps i'm intruding.ay, if you go to that memorial, you just might see a grey-haired woman quietly, alone. >> i've spent quite a bit of time there.

think.y. yeah. >> so much more about all the issues raised tonight on abcnews.com, and social media. and we will beain to the families of the victims, to hear more from them. we hope this has created a let us know about lessons we can learn, and how to prevent it

i'm diane sawyer. can first at is 1:00, a weather alert. the sne returned with a venn yans tonight from the east to the west. white-out conditions and messy roads led to dangerous driving conditions. >> it was practically impossible to see in some places, but the snow isn't the only weather weekend. temperatures starting to plunge to dangerous levels. live team coverage of this winter blast. >> joe will show us what's being done to protect people from the blistering cold, but we're going to begin with chief meteorologist mark johnson, who's got brand new information on the bone-chilling cold. mark. >> cold coming in right now. two fronts, no waiting, and we've got more snow with those cold fronts, as well. let's get right to it now on the power of 5 live doppler network radar. here we have it, a live look at downtown. we've got another little band of heavy snow moving in. this is the west side.