and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kelly ripa -with murder," billy brown - mean tweets movie edition -- and music from tinashe andsnakehis featuring chance the rapper. with cleto and the cletones -- and now, no kidding, here's

i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. that's very kind of you. for you tonight. kelly ripa is on the show with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i'll tell you something, thinking about this today, if there was a show ofken fights kelly ripa is the famous person i would most want on my back for that show. i really would. here's something for those of you who are single and looking for a lover.he dating/sex delivery service, just released a list of the most right-swiped jobs for men and women. on tinder if you swipe right it the person attractive.

job to go with your fake profile photo this could be very useful. let's go throughand i will explain. i'll give you the subtext for each one of them. okay? all right. for men on tinder the most popular professions are -- one's popular because you're gone a lot. you have money. you're muscular. [ cheers and applause ] smart. [ cheers and applause ] you're really great at sex. [ cheers and applause ] you're good with [ cheers and applause ] >> you know how to work the remote control. [ laughter ] you have goals. [ cheers and applause ] >> you have abs.lause ] >> you own handcuffs. [ cheers and applause ] >> so that's men. for women the most popular jobs are -- these are real.will rub me. you know what a duvet cover is.

you drink.me drugs. you can get me instagram followers. you're hot. you're hot.ge baths. you can get me peanuts for free. and finally your face is on a bench. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so there you have it.st popular jobs. i was surprised radio shack manager didn't make the list but maybe next year. donald trump has a powerful new enemy and his romney. you remember mitt romney the jcpenney mannequin who came to life and ran for president four years ago? he's back. he's got his dockers sharply eves rolled up perfectly, and he's raring to fight. mitt romney went on fox news yesterday to say he believes

they are released. romney said either he's not as rich as he says he is or he didn't give money to the veterans or disabled people likeg he does. well, yeah. i mean, he might be right but how is that a bombshell? of course he's not as rich as he says he is. he's not as anything as he says he is. [ laughter ]p. mr. trump, though, took the high road as he usually does. he tweeted, mitt romney, who is one of the dumbest and worst candidates in thean politics, is now pushing me on tax returns. dope! i think he meant it in a bad [ cheers and applause ] romney, he didn't just take it, he lashed right back at donald trump. he tweeted, me thinks the donald doth protest too much.ove that he fires back with the word methinks. that might be the mitt i've heard since this.

who?unny as the election has been so far this year, we've still yet to top that moment. meanwhile, if donald trump wants a win he needs to improve his relationship with hispanic out of everyone running trump is the candidate most disliked by hispanics. backfired. according to a new poll, 8 in 10 hispanic voters have an trump. i really wonder who the 2 voters who find him favorable -- the only reason i can think of for a latino to like donald trump is if they're thinking about going back to mexico and don't want to pay for [ laughter ] other than that, though. on sunday, right across the street from us we have the by far the most glamorous traffic nightmare of the year here, i will say. each year we have a show after that show. this will be our 11th annual have a cavalcade of bright and shiny stars.

i'm going to answer the question right now. i'll be wearing vera wang. ] so since they're setting up the grandstands and red carpet and all that we decided to have fun with movie fans. we asked people on the street about a bunch of things and movies happen and do not exist in a special oscar edition of "lie witness news.""citizen kane 2" didn't get nominated because of kevin james' performance? >> no, i think overall -- the thing is every movie can't get if that were the case it would be a really long show. >> did you like "citizen kane 22"? >> i did, i liked tom cruise in "big man, litigation motorcycle." was it fierce? >> fierce, i like tom cruise. >> what did you jennifer lawrence, 19-year-old mother of four? >> unpredictable but yet very

>> what was your favorite part of "19-year-old mother of four" when she sent her first child to when she held her grandchild for the first time? >> although her sending her first child to high school was pretty moving, holding her grandchild forwas more moving. and better. >> "vampire dog." biggest movie of the past month. was this the for siri mccellan? did he bring it? >> he did bring it. i had a friend sought movie and loved it. >> one of the greate one of the funniest, channing tatum in "koala kop." was he super cute as a koala? >> he was koala. >> was it fun to see a koala with a six-pack? was it creepy? >> not as creepy as people are talking about the bear in "the revenant." did you like the dance scene at

>> it was fun, a light momenthat went on in that movie. >> do you think "carol" relied too heavily on cgi? >> it was fun to add thosere entertaining. >> was it inappropriate during such tender emotional moments to have a cartoon cat come up and be like, oh on, your to like this. >> no, i think in america anything goes. >> well, even lying. >> lying? i think that's the epitome of our nation.d bless america. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]s a new fashion trend that might make its way to the red carpet on sunday. they're called furry nails. they found like, nails with fur. there are a lot on instagram. like finger uggs.p with the idea. usually a kardashian gets something like this going. in this case i don't think it was. but it's very exciting.

i might get some for my toes. you know, with the oscars coming up, time is running out to see all the nominated films. are over they lock these movies up, you'll never see them again. as a gift/public service we asked our friend yehya to reviews for best picture this year. tonight yehya tackles one of the most commercially successful oscar-nominated films. here is yehya talking about the >> action! hi, it's me, yehya. i'm talk about the movie mad ferry rudy." tom harry charles heron. young girl from the bad guy, the

lock a machine in the car. saw knife, gun, bump, everything, like crazy. >> what a day what a lovely day! >> this lady cut his hair. like hand, silver hand, you know, like robert cop. you do that 20 year, maybe more, that movie, the same one, mel gibson, i got a picture with him. he make a lot of movie like action movie. he's like crazy guy. and he do the "little warpon" with the black guy, african guy, chevy do movie with arnold also, r with me. harrison ford and english guy and the black guy, the big guy,

he make one movie also. the one "jesus k mel, good luck for everyone oscar. action! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. we have a break, when we come back and we always do, "this unnecessary censorship" and an all-new edition of "mean tweets" so stick around! tcha gonna do when you get outta here? i'm gonna have some fun! what do you consider fun? fun, natural fun! ow! i'm in heaven nd, my laughing boyfriend. steppin' in a rhythm to a funky flow. ds to think when your feet just go? whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? i'm gonna have some fun! fun, natural fun!

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joy and sorrow live for all to while awards shows are a place where accolades are lavished upon the talented men and women of film, twitter is kind of the opposite, the yang to that yin. with that said for your year in consideration we present a special movie star edition of "mean tweets."rom woolly knickers. i have no idea who kristof walts is. butring. so i'm probably not going to bother finding out. >> i'm getting [ bleep ]ed up tonight. i mean patricia arquette's teeth [ bleep ]ed up. >> if that gross ratty old man george clooney can find a girl you regular fellows out twitterverse must be drowning in

>> jessica chastain looks like julia roberts' ghost. i like that one. >> like someone tried to erase his nose but couldn't completely. i think he looks dehydrated. really thirsty. >> tired of susan sarandon having her big saggy boobs in my face. oh, you wish. >>tner as boring mother [ bleep ] with long-ass movies. where you going? >> emily blunt's got amouth. that i'd like to poop in. >> i hate when zach galifianakis plays serious roles. is for. >> kevin hart seems like an annoying little fart. what? >> richardshort man.

no way he killed jaws. >>blanchett [ bleep ] play-dough looking face. >> seth rogen's really just dust and diamond with 150 extra pounds on him. oh, man.saac is a brooklyn hipster piece of [ bleep ] and i'm going to fight him. sounds like a very well adjusted human henson seems like she's extremely ghetto in real life. lol. well, i can be, e. >> sean penn, one, has a penis scrotum face. three, has an anus mouth.hole. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] get into any

thanks everyone who participated in our "mean tweets." one more thing, thursday night means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> i have a great family. family. i want to [ bleep ] all of you. >> [ bleep ] my husband. a few times a day. he [ bleep ]s me. >>leep ]ing my [ bleep ]. yeah, yeah. >> we asked the white house how many people are on the [ bleep ] said we don't have a [ bleep ] list. >> your starting weight is 305 pounds. >> he didn't believe in himself. his [ bleep ] was this big. >> aben? me? [ bleep ] mommy. who's mommy? >> winston churchill was a great leader but he had what he [ bleep ] that came on him. >> jan, [ bleep ] you.

[ bleep ] later? >> is [ bleep ]? >> name something twins sometimes do in the same way. >> suck their [ bleep ]. >> the truth of the matter is ifresident nobody knows what the [ bleep ] he would do, he doesn't know what the [ bleep ] he would do. >> we've got to do something for the kids. we have kids [ bleep ]. friendly forest as friendly as can be where the birds [ bleep ] the bees and the bees [ bleep ] the eryone [ bleep ]s me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from tinashe, chance the rapper. we'll be right back with kelly ripa! [ cheers and applause ] icky: portions of "jimmy

(phone ringing) you can't deal with something, by ignoring it.that's how some presidential candidates seem to be dealing with social security. americans work hard, and pay into it.ident needs a real plan to keep it strong. (elephant noise) (donkey noise) hey candidates,

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. get away with murder" billy brown is here. then their song is called "all my friends" and indeed, they tinashe and

rapper, from the samsung stage. sunday night the 11th "jimmy kimmel live" after the oscars television special, our biggest show of the year, with ben affleck, tracy morgan, chris rock, j.k. simmons, mike tyson, roderick, nathan lane, henry cavill, and live surprises that might even be a surprise to me. so i recommend that you sleep late on sunday up for that. our first guest is a little cup of espains every morning, "live! plays kelly on that show. watch a special after the oscar edition of the show from the do please say hello to kelly ripa. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: good to see you. >> hi! good to see you. >> jimmy: this is a hot gosh, yeah. this is all the rage. >> jimmy: everybody's doing this. >> everybody's doing it. i got it done at the aspca. >> jimmy: are these rescue nails? >> rescue pretty great. the bummer is i figured out, it's like you never know, i'm not really a trendy person but i thought this is a trend, maybe i could rock because i'm petite, so petite. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i figured the one downside, and you guys should know this, is that you have to wipe-er. >> jimmy: what do you mean a wipe-er? >> a wipe-er. >> jimmy: have you hired a i did. >> jimmy: what is your wipe-er's name? >> lauren draglioni. i have noally? >> she's dying right now. >> jimmy: i bet she is. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: wow. but really that's above and

of -- yeah. >> yeah.too. because i was like maybe he won't even notice that i have these on. >> jimmy: i would notice. i think the next step is gluing gerbils to our fingers. >> liveould see my feet. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. this is, true or false, your least favorite week of the year? >> it isweek. i think it's everybody's least favorite week because it is such an inordinate amount of work and so much flying and staying awake event to event to event. and then we do our after oscar show, you have your after oscar show. after the oscars. >> jimmy: right, yes, exactly. >> ours is when everybody's either won or lost or got drunk becauseot drunk because they won and now they're canceling on us on our show. and we're sitting there going -- >> jimmy: real mess. like getting ready backstage, there are people who you think they might throw up during the show.

oh, you can do it! just one segment, you can do it!an do it! >> jimmy: your show in new york this morning, you flew here, you're here [ cheers and applause ] all day tomorrow. pilot the plane. >> jimmy: then flying back to new york? >> well, okay. so -- okay. so my son is in a wrestling which one of your sons? >> joaquin. the one just turned 13. yesterday. >> jimmy: he's a very nice kid. >> nice kid.>> jimmy: lovely kid. >> one year we surprise the him for his birthday and brought him backstage. he's not been the same since. >> jimmy: really? in a good or bad way? >> a great way. doesn't my seventh grade have a bar and a pool table? >> jimmy: i like the idea some people are tuning in wonderings on over hands?

>> yeah, so here's a wrestlingiddle of this weekend. we're going to get on a plane and fly home saturday so we can watch him wrestle, then come back sunday so i can be at the after oscarsimmy: is he wrestling john cena? why must you see this? >> i don't know, don't you think it's a good idea to be supportive? >> jimmy: i think it's a great idea to be supportive to tell you, he does not appreciate it at all. [ laughter ] >> you sound like my mom. >> jimmy: listen, it's not himbut no kid. did you appreciate what your mom would do for you when you were that age? >> okay, so it's funny. my mom just had this conversation with me before i got on the plane she's like, don't fly back, he's not going to appreciate it. you'll get all this stuff i did for you kids and you didn'thing. that's what she said. >> jimmy: is that true? >> i think i feel very appreciative of my mother. >> jimmy: your mother never did anything like this, though. >> no, on a plane.

so really, you shouldn't appreciate your mother. >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but joaquin. a video message for the future. this will be something that he can watch in -- okay, so mom. we call her kelly. >> that's fluffy nails to you. >> jimmy: she's wearing fluffy nails, they were hot in the year 2016. dad as well are making a ridiculous sacrifice to go see your wrestling, to see you get sweaty and wrestle other >> yeah. >> jimmy: this weekend. and i hope that when the time comes that you become your mom or dad's yeah, we're going to need it. >> jimmy: you will need it at some point. everybody does. that you think about this day and that you appreciate it and also don't do ughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: message to joaquin. >> that's a good message.

what if he doesn't make weight? >> no, he made weight, he had to weigh in today. >> jimmy: he did, were you hoping he wouldn't? >> i was praying to god. yes! because he had a fudgy the whale cake for his birthday. so mark's like, just give him one piece because he's got to make weight. so i was piece! >> jimmy: you tried. >> i tried everything but it didn't work. >> jimmy: very good to see you. here with us. she has a big show on monday morning after the oscars.

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>> jimmy: we are back with kelly ripa. the way. the oscars, et cetera. i had the honor of presenting you with your star on the hollywood walk of fame which is

[ cheers and applause ] >> can i tell you, that was the biggest deal. my dad, all he e such a failure, he wanted a picture with you and i was like, dad, later on, later on, later on. i kept later on'ing him and he never got his ould make another message to my dad. >> jimmy: what's your dad's name? >> joe. >> jimmy: joe, this is your daughter kelly.l her kelly 97 anyway. >> he calls me lefty. i don't know why. >> jimmy: you're not left-handed? >> i'm not left-handed. >> jimmy: maybe it's your political leanings? >> i don't know, he's always called memy: you know her as lefty. in the event lefty neglect the after all i do did -- she you would have been there, and she neglected to get a photo with me, a once in a lifetime opportunity. but next time we see each other, we'll do

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they say it's a great idea to lay on the ground on hollywood boulevard. it's one of the cleanest -- it's sterile out an tell i'm a little bit uncomfortable. >> jimmy: you should be. you're in a dress on the ground. >> i know. >> jimmy: usually people intheir way to the hospital. i want you to know i put a single orchid on your star everyo work. >> thank you, does that mean i passed away? >> jimmy: no, it doesn't, it means we appreciate you. >> aw, thank you.use ] >> that's nice. i'm going to be honest, when they told me i was getting a star i said i thought you had to be dead to get one of those. >> jimmy: really? >>d, he's like, i thought you had to be dead to get one of those. we had no idea that live people -- we live in new york, there's nothing what about when regis got one? were you thinking he was a zombie? >> i thought because of his contribution of being so many years. >> thought -- you know. >> jimmy: you figured, close enough.

plause blaz: yes? >> no. >> jimmy: no? how's your friend michael. >> he's great. he should be here any second, yeah. he can handle staying up? do you stay up all night? >> we stay up all night. we've both made a decision years ago, it started when i was doing this show didn't have a cohost yet. i attempted to go back to my hotel room and sleep for a couple of hours, then go and host the morning n you do a live 9:00 a.m. show in new york, you're doing it 6:00 a.m. in l.a. and so you have to be back at work at 4:00 a.m.aration. >> jimmy: good times. >> i'm going to sleep a couple of hours and go. but what i didn't know is they held the "vanity fair" party after the oscars in my hotel. >> jimmy: oh. >> a thumping vomitous riot.

of people yeah. >> dreams coming true. dreaming being crushed. and i was just -- sound. >> jimmy: when you hear a dream being crushed -- yeah. wake all night. television. >> jimmy: god only knows what might come out of your mouth. >> horrible things come out of our mouth. we've once or on the air coming back from commercial break just yelling obscenities. >> yeah. >> jimmy: will you do this? promise to work that in. ratings if you promise to yell obscenities on the air. yeah, all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you want to see see obscenities, live after oscar show monday morning. kelly ripa, everybody. thank you, kelly. we'll be right back with billy

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:everybody. i like that, you forcibly clapping, that's nice. >> guillermo: i like : all right. our next guest has been killed on "dexter," "the following" and "sons of anarchy." so far, he has managed to not bet away with murder." watch it thursdays at 10 here on abc, please welcome billy brown. >> jimmy: you get killed ading to getting here. you're here, on kimmel. >> jimmy: you given ket ep gettingd over.

shows on "scandal," "how to get away with murder," pretty much everyone in the cast live tweets through the't even have twitter. or maybe you do. which would be -- >> you know, i'm saving it up.rial. i'm going to blast you guys with the good stuff. >> jimmy: how did you get away with that? >> you know what, i didn't have it going in. and alfred enoch didn't have it.'t have it. >> jimmy: but she got it. >> number one on the call sheet, she realizes a little nudge from shonda. >> jimmy: right, she had to do it. >> get the followers up.e call sheet, i work two days a week. i mean, they don't even know i'm there. a couple of love scenes and i'm out. >> jimmy: you do have a lot of love scenes on the s] how many love scenes have you done on the show? they love to get you naked on that show, don't they? >> always. thing but the baby oil. yeah. >> jimmy: viola said that she -- i think she had never done a love scene before the love scene she did with you. >> no, in fact, in

i show up to the meeting with the director and creator of the show, pete norwalk, with a turkey sandwich, protein shake, water, shirt, it's 19 degrees outside. she's nervous. hot hell's this guy? >> jimmy: a bike messenger. >> i'm on broadway, i'm with racter? two days later we're in a carport and filming with the wind howling and it's like 19 degrees. 10 at night. dress is up, panties off, my shirt's to be -- >> jimmy: yours or hers? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did not ease her in gently into the love scene world? >> you never ease it in [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's terrible [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that way, no. >> jimmy: viola also, i read today she said she hurt her back, threw her back out doing a love scene with you?

experience, the producers on the pilot decided, spice it up for the first thing. >> jimmy: right. >> since we're here in threw her up against the wall. it's abc. but i thought maybe, you know, we'd give the mouse house a little something to think right. >> i didn't know it but later on she had -- >> jimmy: have her attorneys contacted you about this? >> yes, yeah. cease ask desistthat. >> jimmy: is it weird to watch yourself in a scene like that? >> not that one. the other scenes, yeah. i'm comfortable with the love're comfortable watching the love scenes? >> no, i'm kidding. i don't watch any of it. >> jimmy: you don't. that's why i thought it would be fun. put thatscreen here. all right. roll it. now take us through this here. there's viola. i'm going to get out of the way.your pecs. >> you got to lower the voice a little bit, you know? >> jimmy: you do have a nice, low voice. >> let the hands go underneath the sheets, immy: am i making you

>> no, i love it, this is beautiful. >> jimmy: oh my god, you must work out. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my god. >> jimmy: i would imagine you probably lift weights with a body like that. >> it's all burgers and 're from here in l.a.? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what part? >> inglewood. >> jimmy: what year did you graduate high school? >> '88. >> jimmy: oh, so that's like -- thethen. >> yeah, they were. >> jimmy: that was a good time to be in inglewood. >> i used to get my hair cut back in the day at morning side park barber, same place asight with the owner. nixon, kareem -- >> jimmy: they would go to the barbershop? you'd see them? >> yeah,u know. just hang out, maybe get a cut, get a fade. >> jimmy: a gathering place? >> like every barbershop, you like we white people see in the movies. this really goes on? [ laughter ]

it's exactly like that, yeah.my: that seems like a fun thing. i do go every once in a while to a barbershop. >> the best dialoguet. >> the best dialogue. it's 8:00 a.m., guys are ready. they got it. they're spitting at it. game, set, match. >> jimmy: 8:00 in the morning and they're guy coming in with the watch and the jacket and the bracelets, it's no joke. >> jimmy: to sell you a watch? >> 100%. >> jimmy: wow.articular interactions with magic or kareem or any of those guys? >> no, you know, the one thing i had, pops and i were in there, norm nixon was sitting next to tle chatting here and there. >> jimmy: right. >> most of the time is with the barbers, who they were tight with. they wouldn't make a big thicy give you tickets? >> always. no, no, no tickets. >> no tickets. it wasn't that friendly, i guess.ewood? by the way, the rams are coming to inglewood. do you feel still attached to that area? >> yeah, 100%. rams are going

[ cheers and applause ] inglewood -- the forum's made a >> jimmy: for sure. >> fleetwood mac, madonna, prince. >> jimmy: a great place to see a concert. it used to be the worst, a terrible place to see a concert. >> you got the forum, across the prairie, cemetery. >> jimmy: yeah. right, it's one-stop shopping. >> then fried chicken. you know. >> jimmy: it's a great place to get a haircut. [ cheers and applause ] >> i got to give a shout-out toblundale. >> jimmy: a mutual friend of ours. a very sick individual. >> a little nudge will help him on his immy: this is a guy with a lot of sexual hangups? >> you know. >> jimmy: i know. we want to send our love to him. he's looking for a woman. if you his name's john blundale, works at major

[ cheers and applause ] billy brown, everybody. "how to get away with ursdays on abc. be right back with tinashe & snakehips featuring chance the rapper. the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is

i'm savin' you five hundred coming soon from progressive,," the new hit single from the dizzcounts. cash money the biggest d the dizzcounts. safe driver, paperless, paid-in-full, multi-car and joey fatone.ve hundred i'm savin' you five hundred we have auto-tune, right? oh, yeah.!

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. kelly ripa, e to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but firstl my friends" with some help from chance the rapper, tinashe & snakehips! [ cheers and applause ]

kissing the cannibals sure i get lonely only only human in the heaving heat of the animals ter brown salt stinging on my tongue and i i will not waver heart will not wait its turn it will beat it will burn burn burn your love into the ground with the lips of another get lonely sure i get lonely sometimes all my friends are wasted and i hate this club rink too much another friday night i wasted

pharmacy addict hit a wall street traffic took the car vent the wheel just to fall asleep at it skrrr crash on the floor catch the zzz's popping the polar hip hop and the propaganda say they name brand but i done seen how the -- did my main man the nights we won't remember are the nightsr i'll be gone 'till november all my city calls me simba dreams are made for cages lions are for real bros dying off of pills friday's are for chill and i escaped the treachery i just had to rest in peace the recipe the rest of us are praying that if you're up right now hope you hear what i'm saying hope you hear what i'm saying all my friends are wastedclub man i drink too much another friday night i wasted my eyes are black and red

do you get lonely sure i get lonely some nights when the angels on my shoulder i'm stuck here with the vultures hissing and circling call me call me call me oohng i'm crawling crawling back to you all my friendshate this club man i drink too much another friday night i wasted are black and red i'm crawling back to your bed all my friends are wasted club man i drink too much

lack and red i'm crawling back to your bed lause ] >> ladies and gentlemen,

is a special edition of "nightline." "consent on campus." >> tonight a highly contentious, deeply complicated issue, often at thesection of alcohol and hookup culture at schools all across america. can sexual assault be prevented? the personal stories of those living with the trauma and the you're just paralyzed by not knowing how to react to what's going on. >> nothing's the same. at all. >> a father stunned by his son. >> it's on his record, his life is ruined. >> here tonight voices on the front lines tackling the tough issues special edition of