" jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight, jason bateman --with murder" , aja naomi king. this week in unnecessary censorship --eelo green with cleto and the cletones. if there is no further

eers and applause ] >> thanks for watching. thanks for coming. >> jimmy: we have so much to get to tonight. we have so many important things i'm going to solve all your problems tonight but first, i have a joke from my mother. my mother texted me a joke this nald trump joke. do you want to hear it? [ applause ] >> jimmy: the correct answer is no. so this came in. it came in at 10:05:00 a.m. we used to love donald duck.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now you see where i actually took time. oh i got a good one and typed it. sent it to me. but as funny as my mother is she has nothing on mitt romney. i'll tell you that.s morning made a televised speech in which he went all in after donald trump. he called him a phony and a fraud. he said he's playing the or suckers. i haven't seen mitt this fired up since that time he dripped mayonnaise on aof chambray dockers. he had steam coming out. i love him making the decision to speak out. this. i'm sorry, ann, but someone has to step up and save this nation. it's like watching your dad march out to the black talk with the schoolyard bully. no good could come out of it. he went after him and the mitt

>> donald trump is a phony and a promises are as worthless as a degree from trump university. he's playing american public for suckers. he gets a free ride to the white house and all we get is a lousy rump tells us that he is very, very smart. i'm afraid that when it comes to foreign policy, he is thank you.one, mitt. mitt romney is the big gun the republicans sent in to stop trump, they're in a lot of trouble. it's like sending a meter maid a prison riot. trump of course responded as he often does by releasing this video from 2012 when romney waspresident. >> donald trump has shown an extraordinary ability to

works, to create jobs for the i spent my life in the private sector. not quite as successful as this guy but successful nonetheless. so i want to say thank you tond look forward to seeing you out on the trail. thank you, donald. >> jimmy: yeah, that's how -- we see more honest relationships between professionalthan politicians and it's important to remember that. meanwhile donald trump is trying his hardest to be more presidential lately. he even started to offert stuff. he released his health care plan yesterday and it's pretty good. you have a protein shake forer one for lunch and sensible dinner and it works. no, the plan claims it will reduce the number of individuals needing access to programs like which i'm sure it will. if trump becomes president it will reduce the number of individuals living in the unitedrump touting his

>> if you like health care you'll love trump health care. treat very best life has to offer. you can enjoy the world's greatest health care in your own home with family, friends, any time and believe derstand health care. it's my favorite food. when it comes to great health care, i've just raised the stakes. trump health care, the world's health care. and i mean that in every sense of the word. and the sharper image is the only store where you can buy>> jimmy: that seems inconvenient. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, you know el k in prison. back in the mexican prison from which he escaped. you know el chapo, right? fans? he wantsted states. he's asking to be extradited because the fwaurd guards won't let him sleep.

tunnel out and there's aing outside of his cell all night long and i guess it's driving him crazy. he's quoted as saying my head and my ears always hurt and i feel bad all over. poor baby. somebody needs to do something. why do i feel like this ends with el chapo crashing on a futon at sean penn's house? speaking of boisterous dogs, they're in the spotlight for providing us this. new edition of exc >> a crazy weekend here. we got a dog, we're inright now. go on. i got a dog that's apparently taken a liking to me. down boy, get out of here. it's a stray dog. i tell you ng to come back to you because i can't

we'll be l right. that's why they say not to fill your jacket pockets with tonight in detroit there's another republican debate. this one hosted by fox news which reunited donald trump with megyn kelly since their feud trump skipped the last fox debate so this was what they called the big rematch and i think it says a lot about this campaign in general that it's front runners arch rival is ther instead of one of the other candidates. trump was there rubio was there, cruz was there, that other guy john something was there and dr. not there. ben carson is giving a speech tomorrow at which he is expected to suspend his campaign. suspend means end. why they don't just call it end, either way, all indications are that ben carson is out of the race for president. which is a shame.

dr. carson i think should not be forgotten and to make sure that he's remembered by the next generation we broke a book to pay tribute to for the kids. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's called goodnight ben. would you like me to read this to you? i all right. here we go. we'll put it up on the screen. in ben carson'sne and a red balloon and ben and jesus jumping over the moon. good night scaple, good night brain, good night pyramidsain. good night lion, goodnight crab, goodnight friend he tried to stab. guns goodnight sled, goodknight crazy [ bleep ] he stars, good night

so say goodnight and go to bed. make room for marco, maketed. goodnight tree and goodnight stump. goodnight america because hereapplause ] a break. when we come back from the break the dumbest game show ever and this week an unnecessary censorship too, stick around.l be right back. jimmy kimmel live brought to you

ah, a classic case of who dunnit? luckily, jay chews tridentd protect his teeth, so he can claim his innocence with a convincing grin. that's it jay, they'll never know. trident. cherish your teeth. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can...

an iphone and get one free.ht? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay sg. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. orage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap.ile you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? ings get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. you're but only if you have a brain. [alarm bell ringing] oh no, the car!should've waited in the car. it says there's a black car three minutes away! i'm not taking one of those.

in a prius.ur most-wanted men in the world are stealing our hearts. is that us? i think that's us! public support is at a fever pitch. what started as an amateur heistphenomenon. one does have to wonder, how long can this chase go on? look, we're trending! let me see that. toyota. let's go places. (playing harmonica) get your own liquid gold. there's gold in them thar shells.

bateman and aja naomi king from ceelo green is on the way. we're about today beau a game. it's a chance for people walking by our studio to win real cash. need to know is who is on the currency. it's time to play on the money. cousin sal is standing by w first contestant. jimmy, how you doing? >> doing good, how about yourself. >> jimmy: where are you from, jimmy? >> >> jimmy: are you on vacation? look at that character behind you. are you here on vacation? >> yes. >> jimmy: how long are you in town? >> for the weekend. i'm actually moving here mississippi i'm here trying to get set up. >> jimmy: you're moving here for the weekend. this seems very ady. >> i just moved in.

>> don't let him clown on you. >> jimmy: we have a whole show going on in the backgroundu. just fyi. we're going to start with a penny. please show the penny cousin sal. don't show it to jimmy, is to tell me who is on that penny, okay. >> look like abraham lincoln. >> jimmy: what do you mean looks like that is correct. now here's the big question. do you want to stop there and keep the penny or do you want tory your luck with a nickel. >> let's try our luck with the nickel. >> i just got to say if you get the nickel wrong you don't get to keep the >> okay. that's fine. >> jimmy: wow, he's going for it everybody. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i like. all right who, jimmy, is on nickel?

>> jimmy: why do you keep saying looks like? are you seeing a nickel right now?oh, man. >> he's seeing a hot of things. >> jimmy: jimmy, i'm sorry. it's thomas jefferson. i'm so sorry to see that happen but we do have ae for you. it's on the money the home game. so you can take that home and play that back in l right? all right. let's get somebody else in there. hi there. how are you doing? >> good, how are my: well. where are you from? >> houston texas. >> jimmy: so you're not with jimmy. >> i'm not with jimmy. >> jimmy: i just figured you were a duo.or a living? >> i'm an architect. >> jimmy: are you here on vacation? >> i am. >> jimmy: having a good time? >> having a greatt's the highlight. >> got here last night and just took a tour so i know a little bit about all the areas in>> jimmy: i like that.

start with a tour and explore from there. do you know your presidents? >> yes i good. all right. so it's time to play on the money. the game works like this. we'll start with a penny. tell me who is on the penny. >> >> jimmy: that is correct. abraham lincoln. now do you want to keep going? and do you want to guess who is on the nickel or do you want to take that penny home? >> i'll guess who is on the >> jimmy: he's going for it, everybody. i love it. have you thought about what you might do with the money if you win? >> well, in los angeles, notch. >> jimmy: all right. who kerry is on the nickel? >> jefferson. >> jimmy: that is >> wow. >> jimmy: all right. do you want to try to double that money?

should he go for it? >> >> jimmy: he's going to go for it. he's going to go for it. >> jimmy, i don't know if you could tell from in there but i'mm shaking right now. >> jimmy: i can see that. t. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? that's right. now you got a dime. do you want to take that dime and head back home or do you- do you want to go for the quarter? >> i'll go for the quarter. >> jimmy: he's going for the quarter. he is going for the >> can i just say i know you made your decision. i've seen too many people lose at this. are you sure? you have 16 alk away a winner. >> i'll do it.

>> jimmy: kerry, who is onter? >> god, it's -- klin. >> jimmy: franklin? oh, no. that was the easiest one. oh, kerry, i'm sorry. but cousin sal is going to have ur money back. i'm so sorry but we do have a -- yes, we do have a consolation prize for you. >> i warned you. i warned okay. well, you know what, that's all the time we have. that's a real shame but it gets wild. -- that is ridiculous. i don't know why i felt the same emotions i feel watching who wants to be a millionaire well we'll do that again sometime. do we even have time for

we have a good show for you here tonight. jason bateman is on the aja naomi king and ceelo green. we'll be right back with jason bateman. >>immy kimmel live are brought to you by chevrolet. find new roads. ah, a classic case of who dunnit? luckily, jay chews trident to help clean and protect his teeth, so he can claim hiing grin. that's it jay, they'll never know.

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>> jimmy: tonight, from " how to get away with murder," which aired earlier tonight on abc, aja naomi king. then, his album is calle -- "en from the samsung stage. his concert, " ceelo green, live in l.a.," airs march 11th on directv and u-verse. is doing a very beautiful song called robin williams. next week on the show we will have naomi watts, rayola davis, john legend, connie britton, isla fisher, chloe bennett, louis c.k., plus, music from eliot sumner, the wild feathers, st. lucia, and the suffers.and if you missed our " live after the oscars" special or only saw parts of it online, we're airing it again tomorrow night with ben affleck, chris rock, tracy morgan, nathan lane, matthew broderick,

alicia vikander.edit matt damon out of the show, but it screwed everything up, so that jerk will be in there too. that's tomorrow night, at our regularly scheduled time. >> our first guest has been entertaining us for more than 30 years, and frankly, he's exhausted, but he soldiers on, lending his voice and talent to new disney animated film, " zootopia." wait a minute. polar bear fur, rat pack music, fancy cop. i know whose car this is we have whose car is it? >> the most feared crime boss. they call him mr. big and he does not like me. we have to go. >> this is a crimeoing to be a bigger crime scene if mr. big finds me here so we're leaving right now. >> raymond and is that kevin? long time, no see.f no see how about you huh?

>> that's enough."zoopotia" opens tomorrow. please say hello to jason bateman. welcome. very good to see you. >> wow.>> jimmy: no belt huh? is that a new thing? no belt? >> i don't think you're supposed to do a belt ji do you mean? why wouldn't you do a belt? >> i understand that but amanda tells me -- >> jimmy: your wife? >> that's my wife. i'm going to do what she don't need a belt anymore. molly does not hip you into the fashion 411. are.

i'm going to take myright now. >> let's do it. [ applause ] >> these guys missed a heavyimmy: how you doing? >> you don't listen to what molly says. >> jimmy: she didn't tell me not to wear a to her. i don't dress great. outside of this show i wear a suit for an hour and i'm a hobo the rest of the time. >> what about >> jimmy: she likes the beard. that's why it's still on the face. >> does jane like the beard? >> jimmy: my daughter, jane. >> yourmy: figured i'd throw that in there so there's no confusion. i told you not to mention jane on the show. our weekends alone are ourekends alone. >> they bought you have a kid.

going to go nuts for it.matoes, no bad reviews. that's very good. >> i've never been in a 100%immy: it's your first 100%. >> i'm not actually in it. you just hear me in itmbs up. >> jimmy: how old were you when you started out in television? >> 10. >> jimmy: and honestly. you look the same as before you y. you really do look very youthful. >> thank you. >> jimmy: is it just luck? >> it's a lot of work. i get a cheap work done. they put a velcro strap in here a couple of years ago and i cinch that up before i do tv and i my wife. >> jimmy: what does she tell you? >> to hydrate. with water, skin, lotion, toner t to do all of

she's not happy i hear about it. >> jimmy: right. >> sometimes it can bes. a couple of weeks ago -- she has been on me to get a facial, you know? >> jimmy: why? >> she -- because she just thinks maintenance is like, you have to keep up with it. >> jimmy: okay. >> i consider myself a guy's ike a good massage. don't get me wrong. but the facials, the toe stuff that's not me. >> jimmy: they're pedicures by the it. she and a buddy gang up on me and get me this facial for my birthday and i finally schedule it and i go in there and i do i walk in and the gal says,

and take your clothes off and put this robe on and meet meoom where the hot tub is. and i immediately want to quick dial my wife on this package. >> jimmy: is this a special birthday? >> but i go with my clothes off and put the robe on and go down to the room at the end of the hallway and there's nothing but a hot tub in there. it's on the border of so i'm trusting. just go with it. and she's in there, nice enough looks like a -- looks like a pot you put seafood in. it's bubbling and it's hot. and so she says jump in. and she'sg. and not only does it look hot but i've been married 15 years.

for 15 years and i'm a shy guy. so iosition myself where she can't see me once i drop the robe and i find that going to get right in the water. it's bubbling so i can get everything under and she can't -- she's not going to see it. so i jump in good layer of skin getting in there. so already the derma, first layer of which is part of the treatment. so i'm feeling pain but i'm assuming beauty, right? so i'm in lly hot. i'm trying to smile. she says i'm going to see you in 20 minutes and then we'll continue with the rest of the program. so she leaves. i figure 20 minutes, that's a ve minutes goes by, ten minutes goes by. i'm super hot. i'm tingling, sweating.

i power through it. so 20 she comes in and she says, okay, next up. sorry i don't have a pair of disposable boxers for you. ifor? she said now i'm going to clean you. it's 10:30 on a wednesday. i'm pretty i'm hot but i'm clean. and she says don't worry about it. she hits the but top and the bubbles stop, so now i'm in anuarium. [ applause ] >> so now i'm sweating double because of the anxiety. she snaps on a couple of like gloves and hits it withquid soap, pulls a full leg up out of the water and starts rubbing the leg trying to

she is making small talk and says now we have to hose you off with ice water. i'm already feeling like a lobster or something and i guess you blanche it, right, with cold water?p i have to hose you off. so now she wants to hit it with cold water. everything is wrong. she hoses me off. she leaves. she says meet me downe room. i start to towel off and i'm starting to feel terrible. i'm starting to really see spots now and i'm feelingreal? >> totally light headed. because i've lost a great deal of water. she has boiled me like a clam, you know? and now i go down and i take aause i feel like i might -- the lights might go out. and i want to get closer to the ground. i see a chair in the to shimmy over there on my knees and that's the last i remember.

i'm out. i've completely dehydrated andconscious. because the next thing i know i wake up. i'm sitting in the chair much like this. my first image is j towel or a face towel that's on my garbage. and there's cold water being poured on me by a coffee mug from threen women now saying god is great. thanks god. he's still alive. and there's 7 paramedics around me. i was minutes. this is what my wife has done to me to keep the elasticity going. i had to get on the phone withinai saying that i'm refusing transport. i'm like, you're not taking me out on a gourney on toaked on a wednesday afternoon. they're going to think i'm some

to get pulled on for the ou know? >> jimmy: how was the facial? >> i didn't make it to the facial. >> jimmy: you didn't get a but it was paid for so i had to return a week later to get the goods. >> jimmy: you did not? >> i immy: wow. that's ridiculous. jason bateman everybody. "zootopia" opens in theatersmorrow. we'll be right back. alright, let's do this. i got minds to twist and values to warp. mr. tyler, your skittles portrait. thee-sgusting! you haven't heard me sing diddly-ding yet. higher. dream on! i think a little higher! dreammmm onnnnnnnn!

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>> jimmy: before we march ahead it's thursday night. that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it ors week in unnecessary censorship. >> hollywood is still all a buzz after the academy awards and one of the biggest stories of thes leo's big [ bleep ]. >> fighting about the size of donald trump's [ bleep ]. >> who would have believed it.

>> it's a great dog [ bleep ] day. >> ohio for john kasich. >> well, marco rubio called him ]. >> slightly compressed due to gravity in space. that compression is no longer present causing [ bleep ] to>> i want to underscore that. there could not be a bigger [ bleep ]. >> mr. trump welcome back to fox news ep ] you. >> you're going first. >> i think people in america arey the end of tonight we are going to [ bleep ] many hundreds of [ bleep ].immy: we'll be right back with aja naomi king. some people sleep on water. people think it's funny

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>> jimmy: our next guest is part of the mostof interns in the history of higher education. her show is called, " how to get away with murder." it airs thursdays at 10:00 on abc.

king. applause ] you look fantastic. thank you for coming. >> thank you. not too bad yourself. >> jimmy: your show got picked up for a third season >> jimmy: congratulations. i should say assuming you will make it to the end of this season alive. >> it's only a congratulations to those that : exactly. it's bitter for the others, isn't it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from walnut, >> jimmy: where is walnut, california? >> walnut is southeast los angeles. like the 101 south to the 60 jimmy: what goes on there? >> there's a walnut creek up north. we're walnut without the creek.

don't worry. >> one jimmy: does walnut has a walmart? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's all you need. >> that and target. >> jimmy: what was your first acting my first job -- well my first job out of school was working atimmy: what was that like? >> that was my first acting job because i had to act very happy all the weren't? >> it gets a little crazy at disneyland. it's a little more hardcore than people would think. >> jimmy: it loses some >> a little bit of the. >> jimmy: what did you do at disneyland? >> i was an indiana jones cast member. >> jimmy: did you dress up? >> yeah, we had the skorts and the hats and the tie.

costumes you hope you get to wear or don't have to wear? >> well, summers in california are hot so it's not so fun to be that >> jimmy: you don't want to have that on. what are your responsibilities? >> well, the biggest one is requirements on kids coming through the park. that is a big safety issue. a lot of parents like to try and get their kids through the jimmy: do you ever have adults -- we have a producer here at the show, his name is jason.ason is -- i don't know if he would make the height requirement on the ride. if an adult didn't make it would you just put him on and if he what are you going to do? >> there are like ten other safety checks. so if he came by me i would him go through.

say i'm sorry, sir. young man. >> jimmy: but that probably does happen, doesn't it? >> that mightmy: oh my god, what a nightmare that would be. and there's no height limit, right? you can be as tall as you want to get on the a good question. i don't know. >> jimmy: it's really only short people that get the short end of the stick. >> that's terrible. >> i know. >> jimmy: did you go from that job right into acting? >> i went to school for many, many you went to school? did you quit? >> i did stop working at disneyland and quitting that job started a long line of meust not showing up anymore. >> jimmy: so instead of telling them i don't want to be here anymore you let them figure it out for >> yeah. like i guess she's not coming in today either. >> jimmy: so what did places do when you do that?

and i just left at lunch and never went back. >> well, with disneyland i had to give the costume back but i bring myself to go and do that to my father went for me. >> jimmy: what a bad lesson that is. what a very bad lesson. good father, bad lesson., bad father right there. >> he should have made me go but i wouldn't have e wearing the hat? here it is. >> it would have looked good on him. >> jimmy: that's interesting. what don't we know about say there's a jail there. >> i've never seen a jail there but there's a lot of intricate tunnels going throughout the park so that you can walk around what's called backstagebeing on stage where the rest of the guests are. >> jimmy: they don't want them to see you. no one wants to see mickey with

you'd think a giant mouse would be scarier. >> he's all soft and re do they put you? >> there's a couple of food places back there to eat. you just -- it's like being in the kitchen of a not glamorous or anything. but yeah. >> jimmy: i got you. you're working for disney again now in a way. >> i know. i love e you don't get in trouble for this. >> i love disney so much. >> jimmy: if you try to walk off how to get away with send huck to your house with a power drill. it's very nice to meet you.he show and all of your success. aja naomi. " how to get away with murder" airs thursdays at 10:00 pm on abc.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live

samsung.t to thank jason bateman, aja naomi king and apologize to of time. heart blanche." robin williams," ceelo green. h what a night oh what a night tears in my eyes staring up at the sky in disbelief i've got a voice in my head voice in my head that's what it said is some comic relief but i'm afraidng able

oing to become once we don't have anymore heroes what the next man's going through wish i could say it in a plainer way i said we don't know life reminds me of robin williams we've got to away we don't know what the next man's going through wish i could say it in a plainer way i said we don't know life reminds me we've got to laugh the pain away gh the pain away john belushi knew

and we all listen to richard pryor yeah i think don't make philip seymour hoffman often now he's one of the things we lost in the fire but i'm afraid of not being ablemore ohh what's life going to become once we don't have anymore heroes what the next man's going through wish i could say it in a plainer way i said we don't know life reminds me of robin williams the pain away we don't know what the next man's going through wish i could say it in a plainer way i said we don't know life reminds me

we've got to dance away can you hear me? maurice can you hear me? oh can you hear me

[ cheers and applause ] just a perfect dayria in the park

just a perfect day feed animals in the zoo then later a movie >> this is nightline. >> tonight, a political bear knuckle brawl and now the gop can dits insults low. >> look at those hands. are they small hands. >> amidst the rematch with megyn kelly. off the debate d trump is a phony. >> firing back against mitt romney. >> he would have dropped to his ports reporter and dancing with the stars co-host erin andrews viral nightmare. taking the stand in a secretly recorded video by a stalker and