tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 21, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
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here's jimmy kimmel!eers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to of you for coming. very nice. winter is over. spring is here. can you feel it? do you feel that springiness that a new season brings? it's almost like, hey, it'seart is bopping around on a pair of skechers shapeups, right? tonight to welcome spring the way it should be welcome the we our first annual baby animal parade. let's bring out the animals!
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named jolly. jolly rolling around in her own hello, jolly. how you doing, jolly? this is donald the duck. hello, donald.t's right, donald. look at him go. oh, a baby goat. this is a baby goat. hare name is tubby. bye, tubby.t happened? did a car stall out? oh, wow.] we've got to get a seat belt on tubby. tubby, i'm taking you out of this car.re we go. guillermo, take tubby in the old-fashioned way. there you go. the weird thin is we taught tubby how to drive for like
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at it then and we should have known to put the safety belt in that thing. you know it's funny.bby's life! [ cheers and applause ] it is there you go. let's have a round of applause for all the animals. [ cheers and applause ] fun if you called for an uber and that's what showed up? we have a very good show tonight. the artist formerly known as han solo, harrison ford is here with us.ie "i saw the light," elizabeth olsen is here. elizabeth, so we're clear, is the olsen that is not a womb an unaccompanied minor. music tonight from cam. but first we have a major -- [ cheers and applause ]tone to celebrate.
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today. twitter as of today is 10. they grow up so fast. next be making a sex tape with tumblr. it's hard to imagine life without twitter. without twitter, how would kanye west let on his mind in all capps at all times? without twitter how would we know guillermo just had aith two slices of pizza? we wouldn't. we wouldn't know any of that, guillermo. tonight in honor of twitter's 10th anniversary, -- these are the 10 greatest celebrity tweets of
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immy: thank you to all. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. there's a lot of college basketball over the weekend. basketball teams knocked down to 16 in only four days, are you paying attention to this, "dancing with the stars" and "the bachelor"? you're wasting our lives. i am tied for 54th place ince pool out of 73. guillermo, you're in 28th place, did you know that? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: unfortunately for guillermo, he picked xavier to go to thee upset by wisconsin last night. [ cheers and applause ] why did you pick xavier, guillermo?
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let's put up on the wall. and if you look closely, this good team that he's talking about, xavier, which was a good team, but he spelled it xabier. over and over and over again. or i should say ober and ober again. what happened, guillermo?ing has an accent? >> guillermo: no, i was just going,ing, i'm going to choose xavier. i justmy: you just wrote it down. either way xavier and xabier have been eliminated together. sorry about that. i'm not very good at picking ncaa tournament games.rity dancing, that's really where i shine. tonight a new season of "dancing with the stars" waltzed its way over the last 11 years "dancing with the stars" has given us 22
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stars, i think. the dancers this time around include nfl players and von miller, geraldo rivera is dancing. donald trump's ex-wife marla maples is dancing.e morris from boyz ii men is dancing. i don't know who had to tell gary bus see he can't come back this year. at the very start ofefore a single foot is touched to the dance floor i make a pick. i predict the individual whom i believe has what it takes to bring home the coveted mirrored i've bet on it. i've correctly picks the winner of "dancing with the stars" 8 of 16 times. i don't know whether to be proud or ashamed but it's true. this year i did my homework. i watched videos of jodydancing on old episodes of "full house." this is how sick i've gotten. i don't take this lightly. i wrote the name on a piece of
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inside a tiny briefcase, it has guillermo's mouth for the last, i don't know, 15 seconds, probably. guillermo, the briefcase is in there? tell us once againer? >> guillermo: mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, still incorrect, all right. drumroll, guillermo, open wide and reveal my selection. theth the stars" will be -- >> guillermo: antonio brown. >> jimmy: antonio brown! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: of the pittsburgh win it all. have to say i feel like picking a football player allows me to keep just a shred of my masculinity. joining us now via the wall of america, our big cisco please welcome antonio brown! hello, antonio. [ cheers and applause ] >> how you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. i understand you're in the admit of taping the first episode
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>> yes, admit of it. >> jimmy: have you danced yet? >> i practiced. have vent danced yet. i'm second to last. >> jimmy: don't even bother, i've just declared you the >> you the man, jimmy. >> jimmy: you know, you're the man. am i the first person ever to pick you in a fantasy dancing league, antonio? >> you're the first,immy: there you go. i hope you're going to take this very seriously. i hope you look at this as just as important as football, than football. yes? >> absolutely, now i'm giving it 100%, a challenge and aefinitely going to put my best foot forward. >> jimmy: i like your outfit, i like the look. is that a michael jackson necklace? >> yes, the first down post, : our "dancing with the stars" champion for season 22, antonio brown! [ cheers and applause ] thank you, antonio. >> it's an honor, baby animals are back.
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hi, guys. i'm all right. why are they coming after me? this is what it's going to be like when we have driverless cars. all right. we have to take a break. when we come back, wele prank on people who think they have the new iphone. and another major celebrity endorsement for donald trump. so stick around, we'll be right back!lause ] honey, did you call the insurance company? not yet, i'm... folding the laundry! can you? no... cleaning the windows! well, the living room'spa disaster! you should see the bathroom! ce companies give you every reason to avoid them. i'm looking for my keys! plants need planting!
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harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, music from cam is on the way. i'm sur obama now is in the midst of an historic visit to cuba, he's the first u.s. president to travel to cuba since 1928. calvin coolidge was the visit. so this is a big deal. this morning he met with cuban president raul castro, look at this, who helped set the record for recorded. watch these guys here. there's some sort of like -- looks like the mandalay bay like, oh, how are you, yep, still holding -- you know, at this point in some countries they'd be legally married.y, there you go. i'll tell you something -- >> maybe he broke president obama's hand. at the end of the day, at the
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when a muppet dies.p is still making friends. trump was in salt lake city over the weekend where he wooed the locals with this. >> a okay? do i love the mormons? >> jimmy: he never answered the e love the mormons? trump was also in tucson on saturday where he took time to court another group he loves dearly. >> look at that sign. i love you! i love you! i want that sign!ign? look at that, latinos! look at all the latinas! thank you, her. i fall in love -- melania, i've fallen in love with her! >> jimmy: poor melania is like, get me back to new york, open, i have shoes to buy.
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his make america great again cap picking up a key endorsement from a celebrity whose support een chasing for months. >> donald trump adds another hollywood endorsement to his list ahead of tomorrow's round of western primaries. scott baio says he will be supporting trump for president. >> well, there you go, it's over. he's got baio. what are you going to do? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's our president now. donald trump now has endorsements from dennis rodman, wayne newton, aaron carter, gary busey, tila scott baio. apple today had another one of their big announcement events. they unveiled a lot of new stuffetter "i." a new version of ios, a new ipad ipad, a new iphone, the se is a smaller version of the i has a four-inch screen. i guess we're supposed to be excited.
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to bigger and smaller. and it's getting harder and harder to tell thetween these new phones. so this afternoon we went out and asked people what they think of the new iphone se compared to the other iphone5. we gave them two i handed them to them and asked them to compare apples to apples. which of course makes no sense. but that didn't stop people from comparing.pple announced a new version of the iphone, similar in size to the iphone 5, so we're having people compare the two side by side. >> okay. >> this is the iphone5, ll right. >> and this is the new version of the iphone. >> okay. nice. like i can already feel that --tle heavier, i thought it was going to be lighter. it might mean there's extra features which is kind of cool. maybe more battery. >> as far as size, do you notice any difference in seems a little smaller. >> okay.
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but a little -- i heard it has a four-inch screen, that's creen brightness? >> yeah, they wanted -- the new one seems a bit clearer. >> as far as? screen brightness? >> yeah, you can see the er. it seems like it's a little bit, you know, easiercons and stuff as opposed to the older one. >> i like the way the brightness is. the power doesn't seem like it's going any less than the older one. >> seems like it has better>> yeah, it does. >> yeah, seems a little bit faster. i mean, it's like a difference of a millisecond but it does seem like it's little bit r as weight? >> almost identical. >> if you had to -- which one is lighter? >> yeah, i guess the new one's like a very, very, very small amount lighter, yeah. ther difference dozen you notice? >> let's see. well -- there's different buttons.
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maybe the iphone5 was a little. >> this one's brighter. >> this feels heavier. >> feels heavier, interesting. >> this one's lighter. >> okay. >> yeah, it's lighter. >> which one's the new one? >> the right one. on. this one, this skrent ff yet. >> if you had to choose between these phones? >> i would definitely choose the newer one. >> why? >> it seems to be faster and brighter and faster.] >> jimmy: we have a good show. music from cam. elizabeth olsen is here.with harrison ford. [ cheers and applause ] ns of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by emergen-c. help emergen-c and charity water provide clean drinking water to communities in ethiopia by taking part in the 40 pounds challenge.ing, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch
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and we'll have music from granger smith. and later this week, kristen bell, jon bernthal, peter krause.fifth harmony. and on thursday night, hillary clinton. you know, her husband used to be president.omething like that, right? our first guest tonight was recently certified by the u.s. mint as the highest-grossing actor in the history of the boxd states of america. he is here tonight to beef that total up. "star wars: the force awakens" is out on digital hd april 1st, and dvdil 5th with behind the scenes footage like this. >> han and chewy entering the "falcon." >> i turned around teen 200 people standing behind me staring at the monitor wanting to see harrison come into the "millennium falcon" for the first time. that was a huge moment.
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the door goes t amazing? just like space. >> not so much. yeah. >> jimmy: you were here in october promoting "star wars." and here you areing "star wars." >> what the hell?] i think it's quite clear that i've got nothing better to do. >> jimmy: what could be better than this?t time you were here that you've been pushing for many years to have han solo killed off.it for anybody. i hope at this point everyone who wants to see the movie has seen the movie. but you succeeded. >> you work for like 25 years company. >> jimmy: yep. you do your best. you show up every day. you do your job. and then -- they just let you go.s case she they
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>> shocking. shocking. >> jimmy: when you saw -- >> no, i for this to happen. finally i wore them down. >> jimmy: i guess you did. so you won't be in any of the other movies, han in any of the other movies? >> who said that? >> jimmy: i don't know. i'm asking. >> who made you the boss? >> jimmy: do you know, nobody made me the boss, no one ever will make me the boss.the character han solo will continue or do you not know? it's a good question, right? means either -- well. hm. interesting. i have no idea what to make of your answer. yourself or han solo die on screen -- >> >> do you know how much money you can make selling reverse mortgages?
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[ laughter >> you have no idea. it's a gold mine. >> jimmy: is that right? >> it's a gold mine. >> jimmy: wollery's fans. anyway. the movie came out great. >> came out good, huh? you liked it? >> jimmy: i did like it.t the secret didn't get out, the death of han? >> it's pretty amazing, actually, that people -- sort of respected their members to the extent that it didn't get around. >> jimmy: really did. >> it was fantastic. >> jimmy: i think people knew they would actually getrevealed the ending of the movie. >> i think they knew i would show up at their house and beat the [ bleep ] out of them. [ laughter >> jimmy: i must ask you about this photograph that was tweeted by mc hammer.
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casual, did you run into him? >> does it look casual? yeah, it's -- that's pretty casual.casual. >> he said it was 3:30 in the morning, that's complete bull [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: is that right? >> no, it was like 2:45. [ laughter ]ut until 2:45? >> we were up a little late. >> jimmy: how, why? what? >> that' know. [ laughter ] we were at the ted talks. ted talks? at the ted talks, really? [ cheers and applause ] >> it kind of wakes up your brain. and there's fantastic people. late. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and hanging out -- probably what happened. >> no, no.
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>> jimmy: he's a very -- well, i know he's -- >> not compared to me. [ laughter ] >> no, he is. he's really my: did you know his music? >> yeah, a little bit, yeah. >> jimmy: what's your favorite mc hammer song?e. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> shh! >> jimmy: if we'd planned it out. there's only two to choose from. yeah, there's maybe three you could go with. >> uh. >> it's very interesting. i was listening to him explain to some young people that -- howoing a rap song. and it was fascinating to me.
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>> jimmy: is it really? >> he's a smart 't doubt that he's a smart guy. but have you seen him in the giant pants? it doesn't seem that intellectual. [ laughter ] to guess the answer's probably no. >> maybe he needs giant pants, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're probably right. songs is "please hammer don't hurt him." you might be right. you are going to playwhich is very -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got a whip if you want to bring it out. >> yeah, i'm not quite --et you a fedora. >> i'll be ready. i'm excited about it. >> jimmy: why are you excited about it?
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been somewhat resistant to. did they finn idea that you loved? >> yeah! yeah. >> jimmy: did you demand they kill indiana jones? >> i haven't read the script. >> jimmy: you haven't even read >> i'm talking about the contract. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] kid around. i mean, seriously. i mean -- listen. that's why we came, s why we came, yes. you're not even getting paid for this, that's how much you love the film? [ laughter ] that's what i heard, i don't know, i could be wrong. >> no, i -- listen. the opportunity to work with steven again on this character that is --en who? [ laughter ]
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>> spielberg. g, okay. >> steven spielberg. a chance to revisit this character which has brought o so many -- >> jimmy: great joy to so many people, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> not to mention me.you. >> no, it's fun. it's great fun to play this character. it's great fun to work with steven. >> jimmy: can you tell us anything about what happens? i canhing right now. >> jimmy: let's begin. >> so -- >> >> jimmy: start at the beginning. again, you'll find nothing there. i tell you what, i'm excitedis looks -- by the way, there are a whole -- i saw a whole bunch of stuff from the blu-ray and dvd that i think "star wars" fans are going to go absolutely berserk for. >> j.j. called me up and he this deleted scene that we're going to put in the dvd.
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and he said, well -- i think it's going to be amusing and --ike to see it? i said, yeah, sure. he showed me the deleted scene. and i said -- why would you put that in the movie? found out that the deleted scenes aren't in the movie. >> jimmy: right. hence the word deleted. >> yeah. [ laughter ]. >> oh! >> jimmy: there you go. [ applause ] >> they're in the back. >> jimmy: they're now undeleted for the blu-ray and put in the deleted scene section. >> jimmy: deleted scene section. >> not put in the movie. >> jimmy: those weren't ever in the movie. >> it took me four days to figure that son ford, everybody! "star wars: the force awakens" comes out on digital hd april 1st and on dvd and blu-ray april 5th.
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box is great. over half a grand when they switch to progressive. so i'm dabbling in new ventures. it was board-game night terrible player. go paperless don't stress, girl i got the discounts that you need but i got to give the people what they want -- more box. any words for the critics? what can i say? critties gonna neg. the what?! [ laughs ] mom, who is that? hello! who? these dresses are fantastic.. thanks. it's up to 50% off throughout the store. oh i have to go, to
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challenge. >> hi, i'm guillermo rosenberg. every day women and children in ethiopia carry water to their home in a jerrycan like this. now you can enjoy eher jen c, clean drinking water with the 4nge. starting march 22nd post a picture of yourself. thank you. holding 40 pounds of stuff #40pounds.ounds? i show you. four 10-pound bowling balls. a faxarty sub.
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i heard you just met harrison ford. >> blew it. >> jimmy: i heard you froze. >> i went -- ah -- ah -- i'm elizabeth -- hi -- hi --: does that happen to you a lot? >> no. it doesn't hive. it happens -- when it happens it's with a chef or something i saw on "top chef."really. >> know what i mean? do know what i mean? maybe. >> jimmy: i like chefs too. not necessarily the top chefs. i like the guys on the bottom. >> oh, that's -- oh, i learned a lot about you just then. ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm not sure what. how are you doing? everything all right? >> i'm good, yeah. i'm like still kind of shaking ford. >> jimmy: tell us what harrison means to you. maybe he'll watch this and you can really like -- i don't know, erase whatever happened ay, so first off, like just "star wars" -- i've been a huge fan since i was 5. >> jimmy: okay. >> indiana jones was everything to me.
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my house had something to do with box sets that i would open, watch in full, and then give back to the person i'm giving a >> jimmy: to who, your dad or something? >> my dad was indiana jones box set, watched that for father's day, then gave to it him. "star wars" was the entire box set for christmas, watched all that, just real special. >> jimmy: wow, see, that's what you should have said. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? >> just trying to be respectful. >> jimmy: i heard you got correct to say you were injured? >> i don't know. because i feel like such a little -- i can't say that word on television.now blinded. but i didn't have like the full blindness. i just -- i've been working in park city with jeremy renner
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right. >> and so we're filming on the top of mountains, 10,000, 11,000 feet elevation, it was a beautiful veryone has like goggles on or hats or umbrellas. and everyone's like, you want an umbrella? we're there for seven hours on the top of a mountain. i'm like, no, i want the sun in the next day -- and i'm from l.a. i didn't grow up skiing. i don't know these things. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> and -- >> jimmy: i didn't know it was a real thing, snow >> you could see that my eyelids are peeling from my sunburn. and my eyes were so bloodshot that i was continuallyt happening on camera. today i feel great but -- >> jimmy: you brought a photograph. >> i was documenting it, it was fascinating. >> jimmy: wow, yeah. that's crazy.rying to open my eyes so you could see the white and the sunburn on my eyeball. >> jimmy: your eyes are red, white and blue.
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>> yeah. >> i'm trying to make america great again. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's nice of you. youh jeremy renner. tom hiddleston is i'm just sticking to what i know. >> jimmy: i guess. >> marvel universe. >> jimmy: you're not superheroes in the movie. >> no, it's a great story about hank williams. if you're a fan of old country a story about his life and his relationship with his -- tumultuous relationship with his wife. and it was a really amazingit. we're all really proud of it. >> you had to sing in the movie. are you a singer in general, are you sung in film before? >> i sang in a film before butl myself a singer. i would never want to sing as myself. but i like singing. but she was notoriously a terrible singer. so it was fun for me.
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got to be tough, knowing you can sing, but then you're -- it'sd to follow it up with a musical or something. >> it's pretty clear that it is for the benefit of the story. >> jimmy: i see. >> so rodney kroul worked on the music.ould make him laugh i felt i i did a good job. >> jimmy: hank would put his wife up on stage with him? >> she can't be soke a fool for having her. you have the balance of singing poorly and then being okay but maybe to the professional ear you don't sound good enough. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so you don't want to m a fool. just a fun balance. there's not a lot of pressure when you don't have to sing that great. >> jimmy: no, they tell you that you have to be off-key orthat. >> great. >> jimmy: need a big bloodshot eye? i can do that too. >> get me on the top of a mountain at 11,000 feet, i love ery good to see you.
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immy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank harrison ford, elizabeth olsen and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next.lbum is called "untamed." here with the song "mayday" -- cam. earing i'm not in love but i don't wanna tell you we've been contemplating how to give it up but i can't convince you we've been hopelessly holding too tight when
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this sinking ship i know we have to leave, too how how this is an emergency mayday, maydayave i'm laying here inches away but you can't hear me call mayday eah said i'm moving on 'cause things were getting rough but here i am in your bed ung it on too long afraid to be alone now we're in over our heads it's either sink or swim we've tried so many times
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oh, could you please help me leaveme mayday, mayday emergency mayday, mayday you've gotta let me leave i'm laying here inches awayar me call mayday mayday, mayday you are overbearing i'm not in love but i don't wanna tell you mayday, mayday i'm not in love but i don't wanna tell you mayday, mayday you are overbearing
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n't all that it seems i did you wrong i'll stay here with youne i've been sleepwalkinght this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> my wife just shot herself in the head, please help me! >> a desperate 911 call.>> i didn't shoot my wife! >> a former correctional deputy now accused of shooting his wife to death. as the emotional trial unfolds,estimony and unanswered questions rock a community to its core. plus a family must let go. to a 6-year-old girl removed
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