tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 12, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
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translate it into game day and it's go -- good to see him make a play on the ball and really show up on offense. that's all on me. i just got to get the ball to him and not give the db a chance to make a play. so we'll go back and watch it on tape. but i'm the one with the ball in my hands and i'm making the decision. that's not on gary at all, i haven't been hit in a long time, man. i was telling coach and some of the guys, you don't want to get hit. but it feels good to be back with the ball and it's truly a whressing -- blessing. going out there on the field there's no nerves or a nxiousness, he is it's just excitement being back on the
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i can't wait to get back to practice. whenever -- when everyone is healthy we have a potential to be a extremely explosive o ffense. we have to continue to work to make sure we're not hurting ourselves and we didn't hurt our service when we move the ballup that was enkurnging to see. we put in it was extremely fun one to play in and i got a lot of options so it's going to give us opportunities to make plays but we have to make sure we're smart about it and play winning football and we didn't do that tonight but it starts with me and i'll make sure we
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i just got to get the ball out of my hands and it's football. you're going to get hit every now and then and i got a changes to go talk to the offensive line and they telling me hey i'm going to be bet exper they're telling me hey they're going to be better. that's what you want. it's all of us collectively trying to get to our end goal trying to win football games. if i 10 times a game if we win the game that's all that matter. we didn't do that tonight so we'll make sure we play better football against atlanta. >> robert griffin saying all the right things comings -- comes down to doing the right things. we'll see the next preseason game against the falcons. our post game rof age --
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browns preseason continues next thursday against the atlanta falcons. the first home game will be right here on news channel 5. perhaps we'll see cory coleman, andrew hawkins. both of them missing tonight's game because of hamstring i ssues. andy baskin and andy, what say you after one preseason game? >>reporter: well, here's what i say. i say look, rg iii came out.
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a high flying offense. he delivered on the first play. he didn't win but it's a preseason game and i don't know that matters any ways. we saw a lot of preseason teaching for tonight's very young team. but i still like what i saw in rg iii. i'm a little concerned about ter rely prior going to take x- rays -- race to see what he had going with his hand. this is a bucket list trip. coming here to green bay and having a ch lambeau field, real aunique opportunity. anyone who has seen any snap of one football game of their entire life have an opportunity to come here for just wown -- one game. pretty special moment. i know you've been on the field but i think for a fan being here and seeing the people here in title town and seeing names like bart star and vince lombardi, really a special moment here so i'm just going to sit back and relax and enjie the frozen tund ra in about 87
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of those cheese head foam hats while you're there. that's the souvineer you have to get. >> i think so but i can't do it. i'm a browngs fan and would never but that on my head. it's fun to look at them but i would never do it. >> cheese doesn't go on your head, it goes in your symptom ache. that's my final thought and no one really cares about that. dave your final take away here . >> it's the first prea players out there that are trying, that care and they're doing the right things. the biggest thing you're going to find out, we won't find out because we're fans now and former players, but i want to at the time fans out there that the biggest thing coaches are looking for is mental errors. they're going to go back and watch this tape over and over again. we understand all these guys have -- can play. but who can be out there to have the mental capacity to
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to be and that's the guys on the team. >> cody less -- kes letter tonight you sit and joshua town gets traded and it's austin dave expis coat ee kes letter and it's very nice throw but then the mental mistakes like you said he steps out ft back of end zone, doesn't get rid of the food -- football when he need toed and that is a concern because here's a guy that perhaps could be a second string quarterback. >> right and seas -- that's exactly what i'm saying. that will be in elementary be made an example. here's the thick. we just know that because here's the quarterback. that's probably a -- 5, 10, 15 place just like that that. that will be he'll have a little fun in the meeting room about that. >> just to big ee back off that, as former players we know the ends and outs of what's going to happen tomorrow. we know what they're going to d o. they're going to go back and correct every play they made a
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ut, and i have to point be you out. the players need to realize they're auditioning for every other team. if you're on the bubble you think you're going to get cut. being drafted nowadays means absolutely nothing and i don't think these guys really understand that. so if you're on the bubl and you're going out there playing you better go out like it's the super bowl every time. young guys got to go back to say listen, what am i doing wrong. what do i need to do an what i did and i was undrafted and i stayed in the nfl for several -- seven years so for me i had somebody come to me and say hey lets go work on this and that's what they need to do and understand that but they have to be around the right people. now what coach jackson, he's an awesome coach. i've met him. i know what he wants. i have seen the up item foa -- tempo practices that he has. but from the first game into
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want so -- to see. once the third game comes around you don't get to see in practice with the limited amount of bads is this going -- guy going to be a player. tough wait until the preseason and you have to start mixing and matching can my play against the ones. then you break people apart. >> what will be -- will it be like in the meeting room, what's that going to be like for the players and coaches as they go over this video? to come together as a team and everybody is going to talk about it as a team. then they're goak -- going to break off the ofts i was meeting room and defensive meeting room and what's great about the first preseason game it shows rookies, hey, this is what the nfl is all about. welcome to it. it's not college. and these guys have only been in camp 10 days so these guys
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film was ray luis and -- louis and he had read -- erd read. hey guess listen come to my house tonight and watch film and that's why film is so important because the mental errors mean everything in this league. everybody has eght lattic -- athletic ability. everybody can run. who has it upstairs and can l ast. >> it's going to be interesting to see what happens next falcons and you can see it right here news channel 5. falcons and browns and preseason continues. thanks for watching, we'll seal you next week on our postseason
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. very good to have you. hey, here's a tidbit i found interesting today. we are now 97 days away from the presidential election. we still have 97 more days of this. i have a 2-year-old daughter. i realized this morning this campaign has been going on for more than half her life. i feel it's been going on for more than half my life now. donald trump is in the m so much today i hardly know where to start. first of all, he was talking about bernie sanders. and while he was doing that, he came up with a new nickname for hillary clinton. >> if he would have just not done anything, just go home, go to sleep, relax, he would have been a hero. but he made a deal with the devil. she's the devil. he made a deal with the devil. it's true. >> jimmy: i like how he says, it's true. as if he traveled to hell and confirmed it himself. saw her with the shoes off, yep,
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devil. calling your opponent the devil, that's going to be tough to reel back in if he loses and has to make a concession speech. today i called the devil and congratulated her on her victory. i'm disappointed but we now unite behind our president the devil. if he loses by the way it's going to be the greatest concession speech in history, right? [ cheers and applause ] in the history not just of the united states. "new york times" had a big story about the five deferments trump got to avoid being drafted four of his deferments were because he was in college. the fifth was a medical deferment because he said he had a bone spur in his heel. which fortunately healed up the moment the war was over. so his heel healed. i'm surprised he had a bad heel. i assumed his heels would be the best. the best heels ever. but after that story came out a war veteran in virginia approached donald trump and gave him his purple heart.
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handed me his purple heart. now, i said to him -- i said to him, is that like the real one? or that is a copy? he said, that's my real purple heart. i have such confidence in you. and i said, man, that's like -- that's like big stuff. i always wanted to get the purple heart. this was much easier. >> jimmy: yeah. definitely. [ laughter ] anybody have a nobel prize they want to give him too? and maybe most damaging of all this stuff, he tweeted this photograph last night. in which he is feasting on kentucky fried chicken with a knife and fork. and a spoon, even. what's more relatable than a man in a suit eating fried chicken with utensils on board his private jumbo jet? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's just like us.
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who eats kfc with a knife and fork? i don't even need a plate. the reason it comes in a bucket is you don't need anything. all you need is a face to eat kfc. i'll tell you, it's tweets like these that make chris christie very jealous he's not trump's running mate right now. trump has been lashing out at the media. he's very angry with the media lately because they keep reporting all the things he says, which is totally unfair, makes him look bad. the clip y think really sums donald trump up. if you were to drop donald trump into like a large stock pot and boil him, set him to simmer for a month until he becomes soup, if you were to pour that soup into a snow globe and seal it up forever, this clip is what you would get. >> i'm very close to china. i have a biggest bank in the world a tenant of mine in new york. the biggest in the world, a chinese bank. don't worry about that baby, i love babies. i love babies, i hear that baby crying, i like it.
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what a beautiful baby. don't worry, don't worry. the mom's running around like -- don't worry about it, you know? it's young and beautiful and healthy and that's what we want. okay, we have the piggy bank. they have ripped us to shreds. ripped us absolutely to shreds. actually, i was only kidding, you can get the baby out of here. that's all right. don't worry. i think she really believed me that i love having a baby crying while i'm speaking. that's okay. >> jimmy: it's all there, right? china, a baby, he likes china, he likes the baby, he doesn't like the baby. he's kidding, he wasn't kidding. every iota of donald trump was right there in that 60-second clip. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've never seen a guy running for president flip-flop
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and our final moment of trump time tonight comes from his rally in harrisburg where he slowed him way down for tonight's edition of "drunk donald trump." [ slow music ] [ playing the tape slowly ] >> thinking all the time how am i going to -- and they're turning and tossing and sweating and disgusting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that trump vodka is strong. the summer olympics start on friday in rio. and the u.s. men's basketball team is getting ready. they beat venezuela in an exhibition game over the weekend by 35 points. afterwards, on the team playing, they celebrated with the number five song from may of 2002. ?
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? and now i want to ? ? if i could fall into the sky ? ? would pass me by because you know i'd walk a thousand miles ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's quite a face. carmelo anthony looks like he'd rather have into our opponents' hearts, nothing will. we've had a lot of fun so far but we've now reached the educational portion of the program. we recently teamed up with our friend snoop dogg for what has already become a very popular new guessing game. the way it works is we show snoop footage from a factory. we show him film of something getting made. then we ask him to try to figure out what that something was. feel free to guess along. here is this week's edition of
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>> this is big snoop dogg coming at you one more time, we're trying to see what the [ bleep ] they making. actually -- wait a minute -- is that cocaine? offering to make some rocks? hold on. this is -- wait, wait, what is this? looks like they're making -- cement sculptured light poles. fire hydrants. piggy banks. what is this? ice cream. oh -- a workman's hat. a lightbulb. a toilet. what in the [ bleep ] is this? yarn. i can't figure this [ bleep ] out for nothing in the world, dog. i'm trying my best too. liquids. oh, a bowling ball! y'all got me with that
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[ bleep ], [ bleep ] bowling ball. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, snoop. we have to take a break. when we come back we go deep into the new season of "bachelor in paradise" and nate diaz of the ufc confronts his haters face-to-face. so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ? [ tires screech ] ? flo: [ ghost voice ] oooo! [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you coverage options to fit your budget. tell me something i don't know -- oh-- ohhh!
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tonight on abc we were treated to the premiere of the new season of "bachelor in paradise" followed by tomorrow night's std results show. [ laughter ] it's all part of the package. if you're not familiar with "the bachelor in paradise" they send a bunch of borderline personality rejects from "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" on vacation together and get them drunk and let the magic happen. we're only one episode in. already this is the best show on television. starting with a physically fit but mentally not so much canadian named daniel. ? >> i'm back, america. canada's invading. we're taking over. my name's daniel. i'm 31 years old. i was on jojo's season of "the bachelorette." can't get rid of me. i'm like a disease that just won't go away. like herpes or something. i don't know if i want to be associated with herpes, but you know.
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not a big deal, right? >> jimmy: right, right. bottom line, don't get in the hot tub with daniel. so daniel's buddy from "the bachelorette," the monster known as bad chad, was in the house. daniel was the only guy on "the bachelorette" who seemed to like chad. in mexico things got off to a rocky start. >> i just want to make out with -- >> you're not making out with anyone tonight. impossible -- >> i already made out with her. >> yeah, you did. you have a better chance of making out with a turtle than a girl tonight. you really hav >> you're making me want to throw your ass down. [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> being honest and realistic with you. >> no, [ bleep ] off, man. serious, man. i'm [ bleep ] serious. >> you better not swing at me like that again, bro, i'll take you down. i'll take you down in chinatown! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: take you down. i like the thought process there.
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threats are scarier when they rhyme in general. so chad got so out of control the next morning chris harrison had to convene a special group meeting about it which led to maybe the most shocking thing chris harrison has ever said on the show. >> this was a second chance for everybody to come in here and find love. >> right, that's why we're here. >> this was also a second chance for you. we all came here to be in paradise. in a matter of one night, you have turned this into hell. being belligerent to the staff of this hotel -- >> huh? i was friendly to the staff of the hotel. >> you told everybody at this hotel last night to suck [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: well, you know. you say that kind of thing to the hotel staff, you will not get one of those chocolates on your pillow at night. so chris had to tell chad he's going home. fortunately chad handled that with dignity and grace.
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look like a bitch, play into everything they're saying. and you act like you see me, you didn't even watch it, you went to sleep with a memos sa and a robe on. you didn't even watch the show. you think this is fun and games? this is my life. you're going to try to make me look like a bitch [ bleep ]? you, chris harrison, come at me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i wish he had. or i'm glad he didn't come at him. i don't know. is it too late for donald trump to change running mates? while we're on the subject of fighting, there is a big ufc match coming up two weeks from saturday in vegas. ufc 202. it is the much-anticipated rematch between conor mcgregor and nate diaz. nate diaz won the first bout. mcgregor is slightly favored to win this bout. we wanted to have some fun with this. we went on the street and we talked to a bunch of fans who think conor mcgregor is going to win. while they were talking smack about nate diaz and how great
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diaz." >> ufc 202. conor mcgregor versus nate diaz. who's going to win and how? >> i think conor's going to knock him the hell out. i think conor's going to whoop him. i'm excited. i'm ready to see ufc 202. conor's going to whoop him, i'm ready, let's go. whoa! oh, whoa. >> i don't know why you want me to get knocked out. >> what's going on here? nate, what's up? you're going to be great. >> now, man. >> represent! >> it's all good. >> i like this guy a lot too, though. i did say that right? i said that. >> no you didn't say that. >> i didn't say that? >> i love conor mcgregor, he's my favorite fighter, he's definitely going to knock out nate diaz at 202. it's going to be a completely different fight this time. >> he's going to knock him out? >> he's going to knock him out. there he is.
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patient and not take him for granted like he did last name. last time he was taken for granted. this time conor's going to take his time. nate diaz i think is going to be the more confident one because he's the lucky one, got that lucky fight in. he's going to come in i think a little more like conor -- oh [ bleep ]! >> he's got the powers right here, get a picture. >> come on, man. that's nate diaz right there. >> that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see diaz versus mcgregor on ufc 202. saturday, august 20th. tonight on the show, oriante is sitting in with the cletones. we have music from grouplove, mark consuelos is here, be right back with salma hayek so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ? introducing t-mobile's most epic deal ever!
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? >> jimmy: sitting in with cleto and the cletones, she has a band with ritchie sambura. called rso. is that ritchie sam bure? >> that's right. >> jimmy: i'm a genius. tonight from the new movie "nine lives" and the forthcoming tv show "pitch," mark consuelos is here. then all the way from los angeles, california, this is their new album, it's called "big mess." grouplove from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, hugh grant will be here tomorrow. nicky glazer, music from miranda lambert. thursday, morgan freeman, music from young the giant. so please join us for all that. our first guest is an oscar nominee who makes every day feel like feliz navidad.
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voice to a taco in "sausage party." please welcome salma hayek! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: how are you doing? very good to see you. i was joke about you playing a >> i am playing a taco, yes. >> jimmy: you were born in mexico. >> correct. >> jimmy: you're part lebanese. >> yes. >> jimmy: your husband is french. >> yes. >> jimmy: your daughter is american. >> yes. >> jimmy: how many passports do you personally hold? >> when we travel it's like when you're watching those movies, those people that need to get away and they are criminals and they go to the safe and they have this pile of different passports? this is my family. traveling from place to place. >> jimmy: so when it comes to the olympics which are starting this weekend, who do you root, which country do you root for?
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>> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> i have to root always first for mexico. >> jimmy: okay. because that's where you're born. [ cheers and applause ] >> and also because the mexican athletes don't get the support that the american or the french or the english athletes get. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> so really, they have so much merit. to get to the olympics. >> jimmy: it's harder. it's harder than it is here in the united states. >> it's harder, much harder. >> jimmy: what is the big sport? is it soccer that mexicans are most excited about? >> yes. i mean, we're very good at some strange ones like archery. >> jimmy: really? >> athletics, we'll walk forever, you know. all the training, crossing back and forth from united states. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: also diving. but i'm a huge soccer fan. so for me, soccer. we have this amazing experience
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because we got to have the last game against brazil for the gold medal. this was a very important day in my life. >> jimmy: was it? >> yes, and my husband, my whole family had come over for the summer. >> jimmy: where were you? >> i was here in l.a. when i say my whole family, the mexicans know that's not likely. that's a lot of people in one house. [ laughter ] >> and my husband had arrived like 2:00 in the the game was really early. then he was jet lagged and he couldn't sleep. oh my god, i was nervous that i was going to be too tired for the game. and finally, you know, we went to sleep. but i didn't -- i couldn't wake him up because he went to sleep like two hours before the game. and then i woke up really early. and it was like a conspiracy. none of the televisions were working. >> jimmy: oh. >> except the one in our bedroom. >> jimmy: oh.
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and the people that work in the house also wanted to watch the game. we're going to go into my bedroom but everybody has to be super quiet. [ laughter ] i am going to put the television in mute. you just got to watch and just keep it to yourself. francois is going to be sleeping there. and i don't want him to see that we're all invading the room. so everybody came, sat on the floor. there was no space. people started sitting on the bed. he didn't know. he was practically cuddling with my father. then the game started. and then mexico scored. first they were all quiet. but then they couldn't hold it. it was like scooooore! he jumped out of bed. >> jimmy: wow. >> and saw all these mexicans in his bed, in the bedroom. he was terrified. and once we saw he was awake we
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and we just had a party. and we won. >> jimmy: and you won. [ cheers and applause ] >> one medal for mexico. >> jimmy: wow. you have a very understanding husband. what is the difference between the mexican wave and just the wave? >> the wave, it's something you have stolen from the mexicans. >> jimmy: oh. >> there is not such a thing as just -- it is the mexican wave that you guys do. >> jimmy: i don't think so. i think we invented it. >> no. >> jimmy: we invented it. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: yeah. guillermo, who invented the wave? wow. this is going to be a tough question for guillermo. [ laughter ] there's a lot at stake here, guillermo. in a way this is like when they put a puppy on the floor and it has to choose which parent to go to after the divorce. who invented the wave? >> guillermo: mexico did. 1986.
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>> jimmy: not exactly a google search by the way. >> if you have doubts you tell me what is the difference between the mexican wave and the wave. what is the difference? >> jimmy: well, there are mexican people doing it i guess is the only difference. but i think -- i've heard that it was invented in like 1981 up in northern california and washington, in those areas, which is before 1986. thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> no. they were not playing soccer in 1981 in northern california and washington. >> it's for football. the real football. [ cheers and applause ] the one where you do this. >> no, no. if that's the real football, why do they play it with their hands? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good point. >> don't get me started. >> jimmy: oh, you don't like football? >> i love football. >> jimmy: you love football? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i don't want to fight, i feel this was our first fight, it's exciting in a way. >> i like it.
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what, let people decide at home who invented the wave. maybe we'll do a little wave as we go into commercial. salma hayek is here. the movie is called "sausage party." we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ? we're talking double the data for just 10 bucks more. that's 10 gigs of high-speed data... to stream more video... and more music... more whatever you want! 4g lte networks. choose from two great plans: our unlimited plan with 5gb of high-speed data. or double your data for just 10 bucks more. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com spend $30 at target on everything they need for back to school... and get a free $5 gift card for a little something extra.
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we live our lives with all these rules. some of them stop us from doing the things we want. causing our deepest urges to be suppressed when they are gathering like wildfire between our legs. >> did you say between our legs? >> look, brenda. i'm going to come clean. i have feelings for you i can't deny. crotch feelings. >> crotch? >> sorry, but i'm not a soft taco, i'm a hard, horny taco. >> jim [ cheers and applause ] that was a hot dog bun played by kristen wiig. this is your first time playing a lesbian taco? >> yes, it is. yes, it is. quite an adventure. >> jimmy: did you know what your character would look like when you got involved in this? >> no. i knew -- in mexico, for the mexicans, a taco, it's always a soft taco. it's always round. even if it's a flauta and it's kind of hard, it's still one shape. i assumed that was going to be
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because with this taco shell form, it's invented here, that you can take credit for. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you invented the hard -- >> jimmy: the hard taco. >> i was going to say the hard, horny taco. >> jimmy: those aren't horny tacos, they're just tacos. >> they are hard. >> jimmy: they are hard, that's true. >> i'm doing it again. this character brings out the worst in me. >> jimmy: does your husband know about this film? >> no. >> jimmy: he does not. >> i kept it really secret. and he looked at the internet. what this is "sausage party" movie? they're making a mistake. i said, it's just the voice, it's an animated movie. he's going to discover how dirty it is at the premiere. >> jimmy: will he be amused? >> i think she'll be shocked. really when they offered me this part i was nervous.
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>> jimmy: it is. >> i say, i don't know that i can say those -- oh my god, i'm going to be nervous to say those things. and once they got me improvising, i was so surprised at myself of the things that i came up with. [ laughter ] that would come out of my mouth. that were dirtier than what they wrote. so i definitely have it in me. >> jimmy: your husband owns a soccer team, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: which team does he own? >> he owns a team called ren. this is one of the reasons why i fell in love with him because i knew that i had another soccer passionado that i could live with and we could watch all the games. >> jimmy: unless he was sleeping, of course, right. >> unless he was sleeping. he started taking me to the games in france and i discovered it was a whole different experience. first of all, we went where all the important people go. sarkozy. hollande. i met them all in this special place.
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games in mexico, you know. everybody goes crazy. here they were all sitting like this. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and of course things are happening and i'm going, all excited about it, and then francois is like, baby, baby -- calm down, calm. calm down. and everybody's like this. and finally there's a goal. and you know what they say when there's a goal in french? they're like this. boot! and i'm going like, gooooooooaaaaallll! >> jimmy: boot? boot, really? >> be careful. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> be careful. because i think i heard you say poot. that's a whole other thing. >> jimmy: oh, that is, okay. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: boot? >> boot, not a "p." >> jimmy: like the boot you wear on your foot? >> yes, like that. because with the "p" it's -- how do you say this -- it's like a
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>> jimmy: like a butan, i know what you're saying. >> don't say poot, say boot. okay? and then i'm like, i'm not going to be like you, i'm full of passion. then he showed me the pictures. of people making fun of me. in the instagram. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and i have never watched myself watching soccer. i was like -- >> it was horrendous. it was so hard to confront yourself with your image taken by others. when you are in this moment of suffering and passion, it was horrendous. so after i was more composed in the games, except for the next game that we went. it was another historical game. we were playing against paris and we lost a couple of players and it was 9-11. and we won.
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but at the end everybody's very composed and i'm like, bah-hah-hah! i'm sobbing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's better than boot. way better than boot. salma hayek, everybody! "sausage party" coming out soon. be right back with mark consuelos! ? [ cheers and applause ] you. always working on vacation. always multi-tasking. [baby crying] ng. but what has all this ambition ever gotten you? that you're the greatest nation in the world? where all your dreams come true? the galaxy note7 with s pen. perfect for busy americans like us. [bark] do more, with the new galaxy note7.
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? starbucks? small-batch cold brew coffee. in stores now. excuse me...i think there's a misprint. oh. model year end clarence event. looks right to me. clearly... it is time to get a great deal and a reward card on this turbocharged jetta. gotta make room for the 2017 models. it is a clarence event. why is that so hard for people to understand? it seems clar to me. clear to me. ready for a test drive? whatever you want to call it, don't miss the volkswagen model year end event. hurry in for a $1,000 volkswagen reward card and 0% apr on a new 2016 jetta. what's up schumer? okay, i got roped into spending the day with my sister's kids (makes farting noise)
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just go to old navy. they have like the coolest back to school clothes up to 60% off. it's what we all wear. and they have jeans starting at like 10 bucks. noice! don't say "noice." sounds stank! no... stop. okay. um. guess what! we're going to old navy. who's excited? who wants to go shopping? and here we have 1893, from the makers of pepsi cola. i'm gonna swirl it. one small sip... kinda seemed like more than a sip. here let me show you. ahhh!!! refined. 1893. made with kola nut extract and real sugar. boldly blended colas. mmm this ham is great. see, we can agree.
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? >> jimmy: our next guest currently on leave from his family in new york to work on a new tv show in l.a. it's a baseball drama called "pitch." it premieres in september on fox. please welcome mark consuelos! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: how are you doing? did you chat with salma hayek at all?
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