>> dicky: from hollywood and nashville it's "jimmy kimmel live after the cmas"! tonight, jessica chastain -- willie nelson -- justin moore -- "mean tweets country music edition" -- and music from hunter hayes via hologram. and now, well done, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for everything, really.

because what you are about to witness, the spectacle you are about to behold, is our most special special effects show of the whole year. tonight we will be broadcasting from three cities at the same time. i will be in two of those cities. i know, it's amazing, thank you. let's begin by going live to the cma theater at the country music hall of fame in nashville, tennessee. [ cheers and applause ] hello, nashville! are you ready to see magic happen? [ cheers and applause ] okay, let's do it. right now i'm on the screens but we're going to fire up the hologram machine. fire it up and beam me in, captain. here i am! [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why you guys are excited.

you know, this is the third year in a row we've done this. i still have absolutely no idea how it works. by the way, those of you in nashville, feel free to post an instagram of my hologram because i don't think that's ever been done. go ahead and snap away. hey, do you guys want to see a puppet show? [ cheers and applause ] hold on, i'll be right back. let me grab my puppet. all right. why, look at this! [ cheers and applause ] my little friend guillermo. look at that. guillermo, say howdy to the people in nashville. >> guillermo: howdy, nashville! >> jimmy: how are you doing tonight, guillermo? >> guillermo: jimmy, i will be happy if you don't put your hand up my butt. [ drumroll ]

watch this. all right, here we go. >> guillermo: i want some water too, can i have some water? can i get water? please, water? water! >> jimmy: isn't that incredible? >> guillermo: hello, water! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can talk while he's doing it. while he's drinking water, i can also talk. is that enough water? okay. all right. there we go. [ cheers and applause ] i want to try something in nashville in the theater. i need a volunteer from the audience for this. okay, do we have somebody lined up? all right, i'm fairly sure this has never been done before. this is a television first. oh, okay. wait, hold on. oh. hi, what's your name? >> jessica liner.

how are you doing? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: see, this is when we appreciate our local weather men. because they have this all figured out. jessica, let me have that right, this is a graham cracker. you've seen these, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. i am going to feed this graham cracker to you. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right? there you go. eat that. yes, yes, yes. enjoy. is it good? >> mmm-mmm! >> jimmy: tasty, all right. there you go, you just ate the world's first-ever hologram-cracker. [ cheers and applause ] you get it? >> guillermo: i get it, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, thank you. all right, thank you, jessica. you know, this show's been on almost 14 years, we're still breaking new ground, it is incredible. of course the main reason i'm with you via hologram tonight is because you live in a swing state. and i need your vote to make

[ cheers and applause ] may i have my podium? where is my podium? thank you. dear fellow nashvillagers, is it? it is an honor to be in nashville with you tonight. i love so many things about nashville. i love nashville's popular dining, the hot chicken, hot fish, the goo goo clusters, whatever the hell that is, i love it all. i love your unfortunately named hockey team the predators. i love bush whackers, shownies, maxwell house coffee, and the fact that nashville has the largest population of kurdish people in the united states. and did i just read all of this stuff off of wikipedia this afternoon? yes, i did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] yes, i did, but i memorized it. and as a result, i know that i

i am the best possible choice to be vice president of the united states. but don't just take it from me, take it from a real-life cowboy! >> guillermo: i am a cowboy! and i endorse this man! >> jimmy: all right, thank you. i might never let you out of that little outfit, i swear to god. >> guillermo: i like it. >> jimmy: i like it a lot. in another swing state, from cleveland tonight, game seven of the world series between the long-suffering indians and the even longer-sufferinch what a year for the city of cleveland. they host the world series, won an nba title, got to see chachi speak at the republican national convention. incredible. we don't know the outcome of the game but we will by the time you're watching this at home. so just to cover my bases i'd like to say either congratulations or i'm sorry to the cubs or indians on their big victory or devastating loss, whichever that may be. [ cheers and applause ]

many, many years. people all over are very interested to see the cubs go from being a team that hasn't won a world series in 108 years to being a team that won one time in 108 years. which sounds worse but fans in chicago have been on an emotional roller coaster, especially this very passionate cubs fan. this is ryan slagle. he was on the local news watching his cubs beat the dodgers to advance to the world series. the video made the rounds. he's known as crying ryan to everyone he knows. to game five. game seven is in cleveland. right now ryan is in slugger's sports bar in wrigleyville where they're going crazy. ryan, how are you doing? [ cheers and applause ] ryan, first of all, what's the score? is there any score yet in the game? >> decks fowler, leadoff home run, couldn't get any better. we're ready to go team's fired

are your friends still making fun of the crying? >> i was a halloween costume so that was good. i have a new dance called the hyperventilate, so that's a real hit. they're currently doing research on a new sports anti-anxiety medication which i'm testing right now. >> jimmy: maybe the people at zoloft could get you an endorsement deal. do you think you will cry more tonight if the cubs win or lose? >> well, win. be we're already up. >> jimmy: okay, all right. will you be going to work tomorrow? >> i have no idea, really. depends how tonight goes. >> jimmy: you may have to call in drunk, all right. [ laughter ] >> love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: good luck to you guys, sluggers in wrigleyville, i know it's crazy there. >> it's crazy. thanks, jimmy! [ cheers and applause ]

earlier tonight on the cmas, we honored country music's brightest stars with trophies. later on we'll punish those very same stars with an all-country music edition of "mean tweets." first we have a cautionary tale for you. for lovers of both music and affordable furniture, i came across a story recently online about a man from norway. the man's name is klaus urstad. he made the nauz because according to the story, he bought a shower stool from ikea. once he got home and sat on it something unpleasant happened. when he sat down, a key part of his body became stuck in one of the holes. [ audience groaning ] i know. it's a hard story to hear. rather than just tell you about it we enlisted the help of a young singer named justin moore who was kind enough to give voice to this terrible tale of a norwegian nut with a very sad sac. >> this here's a story about a tough buy with a big problem.

? down in norway town there lived a lad ? ? he went by the name klaus jorstad ? ? took an ikea chair into the shower sat on it about an hour ? ? see the holes and all the love klaus left all that permanent stuff ? ? no matter how much he'd twist and shout ? ? that little bitty sucker wouldn't pop out ? ? oh devil stool you are just so cruel ? ? give me back my family jewel you devil stool ? ? klaus said to himself so mad he could spit, i'm in a different kind of ikea ball pit ? ? this stool's name should have clued me in testing for pinching and grabbing and that ? ? how could a fellow who worked

cruel cruel idea ? ? you'd have to be a sadistic soul to make a stool with a nut-sized hole ? ? klaus tried every trick he knew lathered himself tried shampoo tried wd-40 cocoa butter ? ? ? couldn't pull that nutter right out of the judder ? ? suddenly the heat ran out and icy water poured out of the spout ? ? and klaus well he just up and shrunk and the devil stool freed up his junk ? for a fool ? ? but you ain't laving now you devil stool ? ? oh devil stool i'm free from you ? ? damn you straight to hell you devil stool ? >> brought to you by ikea meatballs. [ cheers and applause ]

ridiculous questions for willie nelson, miranda lambert, florida georgia line, dolly parton, chris stapleton and more in an all-country edition of "mean tweets" so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ? yep, got the exact doll she wanted. no, no, no, be right home. ? ring) hey! hey! (tires screeching) hey! is this yours? yes. thank you! happy holidays. (vo) the real magic of the holidays

? 3,2,1... lumi?re, action! ? before danny got what he was dreaming about for the holidays.

[ dinosaur growls ] and his dad earned 2% back at grocery stores and wholesale clubs. yeah! even before they earned 3% back on gas. danny's parents used their bankamericard cash rewards credit card to give him the best day ever. that's the joy of rewarding connections. learn more at bankofamerica.com/getcashback. just press "clean" and let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. roomba navigates your entire home. which means your floors are always clean. you and roomba, from irobot. better. together. this year at t-mobile, the holidays are on us!

t! $800 to spend anywhere you want. plus, all season long, get awesome deals on smartphones, tablets, and accessories.

? >> jimmy: willie, this is your book, "pretty paper." a lot of questions are answered in this book. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: but not these. my first question for you, if you were going to die fighting an animal, what animal would you

>> a rabbit. >> jimmy: a rabbit? why a rabbit? >> i think i can last longer. >> jimmy: but they kill slowly. >> they do. >> jimmy: imagine being killed by a rabbit. >> yeah, that's not good. >> jimmy: what do you think of the name kenneth for a baby? >> be nice for a horse. >> jimmy: but not a human? >> well, i don't think so. not for -- no, i wouldn't want a human named that, no. would you? kenneth -- >> you'd want to be swinging a kenneth around all day. no, no. >> jimmy: have you ever used an emoji? >> last night. >> jimmy: you did? >> i think i did. what's it do to you? >> jimmy: i'm guessing the answer is no. well, two emojis. a smiley face. >> crown royal. the answer to all life's

>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. jessica chastain and music from hunter hayes is on the way. hello to those of you joining us in nashville, tennessee, which as you know was home tonight to the 50th annual cma awards. country music is very important. after this election it might be the only country we have left. it was a special show tonight. 50 years, celebrating 50 years of cmas. dolly parton received the willie nelson lifetime achievement award which is literally the a shelf alongside a bong. [ laughter ] dolly got that, then a special performance tonight from beyonce on the country music awards. which is exciting. and i'll say another thing. between "lemonade," the world series, "the walking dead," it has been an amazing year for baseball bats. beyonce did her big hit country song "if you like it you should have put a ring of fire on it or something like that, i don't know, before an appreciative audience.

enthusiastic fans of all forms of music. i see it when we have artists on the show. the fans, they're excited, upbeat, they don't steal music, they buy it, a solid group. just like any group of fans there are rotten apples. tonight we invited some of country's biggest stars to read some of the nasty things those apples wrote about them and they graciously accepted that offer. with that said, it's time for our second all-country music edition of "mean tweets." >> just because you have a beard, a ponytail, and a cowboy hat doesn't mean you can sing. you know how i know? trace adkins. just concerning. >> bonnie raitt looks like the aunt who would have a few too many at your mom's birthday party and try to fight your dad. >> randy houser, more like

that's funny. >> cassadee pope would be 6,000% hotter without that [ bleep ] tattoo. you mean this one? >> that swaggy [ bleep ] 300 says, if you're going crazy over dan and shay, you might as well take your [ bleep ] and shove it up your own ass. #notcountry. >> i'd love to see that. >> wow. >> hey, eat [ bleep ]. i will not listen to your [ bleep ] play list on spotify. >> janet kramer tries too hard with her texas accent, lol, girl stop. you ain't fooling anyone. i'm sorry, y'all. >> granger smith is not cute. [ bleep ]. >> in case of a national emergency, all air traffic will be redirected to miranda lambert's forehead. >> the guy from florida georgia line were engineered in a douche factory. right down the road from here, actually.

[ bleep ] super lame. i'm really sorry, @cocaine. >> why does the blond in little big town have hair like a "zoolander" villain? oh, man. >> for some reason my mom has determined that brett eldridge is always drunk. i don't know, maybe he is. i like your mom. >> seems like the kind of guy that would drink bacardi br okay, maybe. >> mare ren morris looks like jennifer lawrence's less-attractive sister. >> willie nelson, you're getting pretty crusty, pal. >> it's not a hooker convention, it's a dolly parton concert. i guess i should feel hurt. but i don't. because i pattern my look after a hooker.

stapleton has an insane pubic hair situation. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: weird all right. tonight we have a hologram named hunter hayes from nashville, my cousin sal versus trick-or-treaters, be right back with jessica chastain! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ? ? this is it: target's extra 15% off deal has arrived ?

are you still sitting there? get an extra 15% off online and in-store this sunday and monday! this one is from channel islands national park. coronado. saguaro. you'll see there's one that's an eagle. my number one goal is getting more funds out to parks because some animals and plants are only found in one place in the world, and that's in some national parks. i find that's a great cause, and i want to support it. (avo) the subaru share the love event has donated get a new subaru, and we'll donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. ?put a little love in your heart.? ? ? special k nourish. apples, almonds, and raspberries. devour something different. special k nourish. what?

end $50 on holiday d?cor and trees at target.

>> jimmy: welcome back. the clowns are getting scarier all the time. sluggers bar in wrigleyville. the cubs faithful are suffering through game seven of the world series. welcome back to our post-cma palooza, coming to you live from both hollywood and the cma theater in nashville, tennessee. tonight with this single "yesterday's song" a very special performance by hunter hayes from the crown royal stage.

tonight, hunter hayes will be playing with himself. a song. he will be playing drums, bass, guitar, keyboard, and singing with the help of four hologram hunter hayeses who are all standing by in his dressing room now. hi, hunters. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: you ready for the show? >> hayes yeah. >> ha ha ha! >> that's a joke we always say. >> jimmy: i can see why you love that one, hilarious. which of you is the real hunter? >> he is! >> he is! >> he is! >> jimmy: l they're having fun. don't do anything weird to each other. we'll see you later. >> see yeah! >> see ya! >> jimmy: thanks to hologram usa for making all this hologram magic possible. tomorrow jamie dornan, khloe kardashian, nashville's own kings of leon and we have a special bonus edition of our halloween candy youtube challenge so many parents sent their great videos in late we had no choice but to go another round so more sugar-fueled tantrums tomorrow night.

take down movie bin laden we are forever grateful for that. her new movie "miss sloane" comes out in select cities november 5th and opens wide december 9th. please say hello to jessica chastain! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome. how's it going? i'm a little disturbed by the creepy guillermo dance. >> jimmy: well, you know -- >> guillermo: hi. >> jimmy: it's a good thing you didn't wear green tonight or you too could have been a part of it. yeah, isn't he cute, though? it is something like -- i'm not sure if it's adorable or -- >> it's not adorable. >> jimmy: it's not adorable? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't like little guillermo? >> it's the hands. the fingers don't move and there's not even five fingers are there? >> jimmy: that's true. >> it's just like weird.

>> imagine those things touching you, it would be like this. >> jimmy: i don't have to imagine, we had a very intimate rehearsal today. [ laughter ] by the way, say hello to nashville, we have an audience watching us in nashville right now. >> hi, nashville. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you ever been to nashville? >> i have. i was in memphis which i love -- >> jimmy: that's a different place. >> no, i was in tennessee, i was in memphis, never been to nashville. >> jimmy: nashville's a lot of -- you're going to -- is it true you're going to be playing tammy wynette in a movie coming up? [ cheers and applause ] >> i am. >> jimmy: you're going to have to go there. >> yeah. yeah, i'm playing tammy wynette in a movie with josh brolin playing george jones. >> jimmy: oh, he'll be great. that will be good. by the way, that is -- i think when you play a country music star your chance of getting nominated for an oscar multiplies by 140%. >> you think?

it's the sequins and the wigs. >> jimmy: the wigs are great. the music is great. you show another side of yourself as a performer. i think that's a very strong move. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they have an interesting story. well, as i'm sure you know. >> yeah, really interesting story. i read georgette jones' book about growing up with her parents and it's fascinating. it was really rocky, their relationship. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they're like the sid and nancy of the country music world. >> jimmy: then they sang apart as well. >> i know. >> jimmy: are you a baseball fan? are you aware of of what's going on with the cubs and indians? >> someone told me backstage that the world series is happening? >> jimmy: it is. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so the answer to that question is no. >> i'm glad -- i did play little league when i was a little kid. >> jimmy: what position? >> shortstop. >> jimmy: well, you must have been -- that's usually the best player plays shortstop. >> i always wanted to play -- i was definitely not the best player.

my dad coached the team. >> jimmy: ah, that explains why you played shortstop. >> yeah. but then i was terrible at baseball. so i would always get demoted to the outfield. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> and they just kind of doing whatever while the ball would land and people would say, run, run! >> jimmy: even the terminology you're using explains -- [ laughter ] >> am i saying something wrong? >> jimmy: the ball doesn't land. it doesn't have a pilot. >> okay, it would bounce. i'd be up to bat, you know -- >> jimmy: let's see your batting stance. give us a little bit of it. [ cheers and applause ] >> like this. >> jimmy: pretty good. that's pretty good. yeah, you keep your elbow up. >> follow the thumb. >> jimmy: all right, yeah, all right. that was pretty good. not bad at all. >> all right. so i would hit the ball and i would just try to get home as fast as i can. so even if the ball went straight to the pitcher i would

bases. >> jimmy: you would not stop? >> no. i wouldn't stop. all the parents in the stands would be screaming, stop on first, stop, stop, stop! i'm like, i got this! >> jimmy: you were an aggressive player. kind of a pete rose type really. >> no idea who that is. >> jimmy: really? no idea? >> pete rose? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the last time you were here you brought this fruit. i forget what it was called. >> durien. how could you forget? the king of fruits. >> jimmy: the king of fruit. this fruit smelled so bad. it's like an asian delicacy, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that we were instructed to wear gloves before touching it because the smell, until you die, the smell will not come off your hands. >> i normally eat it without gloves but i wanted to protect your delicacy, your sensitivity. >> jimmy: right, yeah. i am a delicate little flower, yeah. >> a delicate little flower. you didn't seem to like it that day. >> jimmy: it smelled like vomit

the reason i mention it is because it became a big deal online. seems like mostly in other countries, people were very excited that we ate their fruit. >> yes. they're very proud of this fruit. it's a delicious -- i'm sorry, jimmy, it's a delicious fruit. >> jimmy: do you have it still regularly? >> i have it in the dressing room. >> jimmy: you did not. >> no, every time i can get ahold of it i eat it, it's delicious. >> jimmy: you described it as it smelled like a corpse, right? >> yeah. well, it smells like -- it's like -- the taste is like an custard -- >> jimmy: the taste was better than the smell for sure. >> really. >> jimmy: you're a vegan so you don't eat -- when did this happen to you? >> there's one vegan in the audience. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: there are a lot of vegans in the the audience. they're too weak to clap. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how did it happen that you became a vegan?

drinking coffee all day. someone said, try to eat healthy. >> jimmy: this was as an adult? it wasn't like you were a kid? >> no, ten years i've been vegan. >> jimmy: you don't miss it? do you miss meats at all? >> no, not at all. sometimes if i see like a domino's pizza, oh, i would love a piece. but there's delicious vegan pizza. >> jimmy: what about at thanksgiving when the turkey comes out? do you feel like, oh, i wish i could have some of that? >> never. >> jimmy: never? >> never, no. because i have del like yams and green beans. >> jimmy: yams, huh? [ laughter ] >> potatoes. >> jimmy: wow. you're making the most of a very sad situation. [ laughter ] when we come back we'll see a clip from your new movie. jessica chastain is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whiskey. vanilla so good.

use a toothpaste and mouthwash that strengthens both. go pro with crest pro-health advanced. it's uniquely formulated with activestrength technology to strengthen teeth inside and is better at strengthening the outside than colgate total. crest toothpaste and mouthwash makes my whole mouth feel amazing. advance to healthier gums and stronger teeth from day one. my check-up was great. these are the gifts that absolutely had to be there on time. an adventurer. who wants to grow up to be just like grandpa. ? ? whoa. the gift they're waiting for is waiting on ebay. ? new, unique, and everything in between. find it. add it. get it fast. my goal was to finally get in shape.

so i made a decision to talk to my dermatologist about humira. humira works inside my body to target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just 4 months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; blems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask about humira, the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists.

nothing says "treat yourself" like red lobster's holiday seafood celebration. so try new dishes like the new grand seafood feast, and the new wild-caught lobster & shrimp trio, with a lobster mac-and-cheese topped lobster tail. come treat yourself to feast fit for the season before it ends. remember 2007? smartphones?

t. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x optical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the new moto z with motomods. save up to $400 when you trade in your old phone and switch to verizon. fact. people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. gentle, non-habit forming advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. what? oh, hi! bello! save $10 when you spend $50 on holiday d?cor and trees at target.

loving is about foresight. about anticipating your opponent's moves and devising counter measures. the winner plots one step ahead of the opposition.

just after they play theirs. >> jimmy: that is jessica chastain in "miss sloane" opening in select cities november 25th and wide december 9th. that's not the whole movie, though. >> just me talking into the camera for fun. no, that's the very beginning of the movie. the whole little speech about lobbying plays throughout the movie a couple of times. basically miss sloan's a political thriller with twists and you don't exactly know what's going to happen. >> jimmy: you play a -- wouldn't it be weird if it was a thriller where you knew absolutely what was going to happen? >> i've seen those movies. >> jimmy: you're right. you're not supposed to but you do. you play a lobbyist. you're talking to politicians, trying to get them to go along with your agenda. did you go and study with these people? >> yeah, i went to d.c. first of all, i read jack abramoff's book, the lobbyist that ended up in jail for doing bad things.

i went to d.c. i met with 11 female lobbyists. congressmen, senators. i went to capitol hill. it was fascinating. >> after you did that, did you feel disappointed in how our political system works? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you did. right. >> one congressman told me he goes to three fund-raisers every day. >> jimmy: every day? >> every day. breakfast fund-raiser, lunch fund-raiser, cocktail or dinner fund-raiser. >> jimmy: for? >> for his re-election. at that point you think, are these people representing the ones that voted for them? or just trying to keep their seat in office? >> jimmy: they're clearly just trying to keep their seat in office, right? >> i'm not going to say that. >> jimmy: but it is true. so we might as well. >> let's redo the whole thing. >> jimmy: it's a pretty crazy world. you hear about a lot. especially on tv. but to be in there. were you privy to any actual negotiations?

i did shadow some people. i saw stuff that i was like, wow. i can't believe i'm witnessing this. people were asking the lobbyist that i was with, i'd like to have -- to get on the invite list for that trip to that country. >> jimmy: a foreign trip? >> yeah. and i'm like, that's illegal. >> jimmy: that is illegal. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i learned from the movie that's illegal. >> good job. >> jimmy: thank you. i really pay attention, it's one of my many great qualities. >> good. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. thank you for coming on this special night. >> thanks! >> jimmy: they've been watching us. "miss sloan" opens in select cities november 25th, wide december 9th. when we come back, cousin sal takes on trick-or-treaters! [ cheers and applause ] enjoy our freshly filled pastas bursting with indulgent flavors. and perfectly paired with irresistible steak, shrimp or chicken.

served with all the salad and breadsticks you want. bring flavorfilled pairings and your family together this holiday... at olive garden. [vo] how to go live when you have something to say and you just need to say it out loud. when something happens in the world that blows your mind or breaks your heart or your simply stoked about or makes you question everything you might have something to say. say it. press this.tap this. and go live. now you're not alone

to feel this special... you need to eat this special. ? ? i love it ? start your day with crunchy whole-grain flakes... and real strawberries. special k. eat special. feel special. ? oh my... (gasps) what is it? it's samsung gear vr. you put it in there... push the play button. ohhh... (gasps) (laughs) this is crazy! oh my gosh! (screams) wow. (sighs) (laughter) you've gotta try this.

? for melissa. she's one of my favorites, and she comes in every day. she calls me to do her drinks. and she loves getting drinks from me... ...and i love making 'em for her. she gets so excited; it makes her really happy which makes me really happy. melissa's going to be so ecstatic when she gets this drink. this is going to make her day. i have a grande peppermint mocha for melissa.

this is it: target's extra 15% off deal has arrived ? yo! where are you guys going? [off-camera] i gotta get some gifts! are you still sitting there? get an extra 15% off online and in-store this sunday and monday! ? (laughs..) here it is. ? ? hey dad! ? wishes do come true. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down

>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from hologram hunter hayes in nashville. but before that, can we check in with wrigleyville? i want to know what the score is. hey, guys. >> hey! >> jimmy: how are you doing?

>> well, jimmy, it's currently 1-1. >> jimmy: oh. >> two outs with runners on first and second. but i think we're going to be all right. >> jimmy: all right. hey, ryan. i just want you to know, we sent you to game five. if this game remains tied and there is a game eight, we will send you to that game as well, okay? >> ha ha! yeah. >> jimmy: all right, thank you. >> yeah! >> jimmy: thank you for the courtesy laugh, ryan. good luck, guys. >> thanks so much, jimmy. >> jimmy: check back with you later, maybe we won't, i don't know. in addition to making kids cry over their candy, we have another cherished tradition on this show involving my cousin sal and a doorknob. every year we hide cameras on a porch and let cousin sal wreak halloween havoc on all the kids who dare come to his door. ?

>> oh, no, is today halloween? >> yes. >> i had no idea. i am not -- as you can see, i'm not prepared at all. >> yeah. >> oh, geez. i want to give you something, though, you came all the way up these stairs. you know what, wait right there. wait, wait, wait. okay, she's potty trained. she goes twice a day. all you have to do is feed her. she likes biscuits and peanut butter. >> okay, i already have dogs. >> now you have another dog, isn't that great? happy halloween. bye, rufus! ? >> trick or treat! >> hey. you guys are soccer players? >> yep. >> yeah. >> excellent. you know what soccer players need? protein. right? >> yeah. >> yeah, okay. hold on, i have just the thing

sardines! >> ew. >> yeah. so you can run and run and kick the ball all day with this. >> eat this? >> the kid just ate it just now. there's one for you. and one for -- i gotcha -- for you. ? >> trick or treat! >> hello. do you kids have a reservation? >> yes. >> you do? >> this is danny. >> mine's dean. >> dean, i don't see you anywhere. we just sat a big party. we have a table for three in about 20 minutes, is that okay? >> okay. >> okay. all right. party of three. and is this a special occasion? >> yes. >> what is it? >> it's halloween. >> oh, halloween, okay. party of three, occasion is halloween. okay.

and we will buzz you when your table's ready. okay? thank you. ? >> hi. happy halloween. >> happy halloween. >> you know what the problem is there's three of you and i only have two rice crispy treats left. here. here. i feel bad. because you're -- i don't want to let america down. wait right here, wait right here, hold on. >> oh! >> oh my god. >> there you go. >> oh my god. >> all right? you got it? >> it's not fair! >> life isn't fair, kid. help him out. >> hello, hi. >> hi. >> come here. happy halloween. >> happy halloween. >> are you elsa?

>> aren't you the most adorable thing. >> uh-huh. >> do you like "frozen"? >> uh-huh. >> do you like frozen ice cream? all right. hold out your hands. here is some ice cream. two hands, two hands. wow! isn't that great. hold on, hold on, hold on. i have some toppings for you. do you like chocolate? >> chocolate! >> chocolate sprinkles? okay. >> yeah. >> a cherry? hey. >> actually -- >> there you go. >> i don't like cherries that much. >> okay, i'll take it back, sorry about that. what about whipped cream? you like whipped cream? >> yeah. >> yeah, okay. stay right there. >> wow. >> isn't this the best?

>> how is it, good? all right, happy halloween! bye! >> bye. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: be right back with music from hunter hayes via hologram in nashville. [ cheers and applause ] ?

>> dicky: music in nashville on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whisky. vanilla so good. >> thanks everyone for coming out to nashville. i want to thank jessica chastain, justin moore, willie nelson, i apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. here with "yesterday's song" from the cma theater in nashville via the power of

? na na na na na na na na na na na help me out everybody! na na na na na ? ? well i used to sing it and i used to crank it with the windows down i used to love it ? ? oh but i'm over it man i'm over it now ? ? i used to leave it playin on repeat i spu turned on me ? ? but the dj knows exactly what i need i need an out with the old in with a new beat ? ? you were the rooftop at the top of my lungs blowin' the speakers in the back of my trunk ? ? and you had your chance then yeah but i'm movin on ? ? and now you're just yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ? ? the soundtrack every night in

? now you're just an echo when the feeling is gone baby now you're just ? ? yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ? ? we had a moment there's no more magic in the melody it's lost and you know it ? ? it's just the sound of what we used to be ? ? yeah i used to leave it playin it turned on me ? ? yeah the dj knows exactly what i need a little dancin could be good for me ? ? you were the rooftop at the top of my lungs blowin' the speakers in the back of my trunk ? ? and you had your chance then yeah but i'm movin on ?

yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ? ? the soundtrack every night in my bed you were the woo-hoo gettin' stuck in my head ? ? now you're just an echo when the feeling is gone baby now you're just ? ? yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ? ? na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na ? ? i got a whole new hey hey i got a brand new wooh wooh ? ? i got new moves and you're old news i got a new song i wanna sing to you ? ? i'm gonna get by i'm gonna get through without you ? ? you were the rooftop at the top of my lungs blowin' the speakers in the back of my trunk ? ? and you had your chance then yeah but i'm movin on ? ? and now you're just yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ?

my bed you were the woo-hoo gettin' stuck in my head ? ? now you're just an echo when the feeling is gone baby now you're just ? ? yesterday's song you're yesterday's song ? ? yesterday's song ? ? na na na na na na na na na na na yesterday's song ? n >> guillermo: yee-haw!

this is "nightline." >> tonight, faking news. political lies spread on social media by unsuspecting users. did it change the course of the election? meet the unlikely teenagers pumping out fake headlines from half a world away. >> the past three months i made my parents. >> who they say they're really looking for. found alive. a mother reported abducted while jogging. her husband and police police searching for weeks. >> i'm coming, honey, i'm trying, doing everything i can. >> emerging on the side of a highway. >> she's chained with a quarter-inch heavy chain and hose clamps on her wrists. >> new questions about her mysterious disappearance.