hey, any action lately? w-w-what do--what do you mean action? you asking about me and amy? no, not about you and amy. you know, just...frequency. frequency with me and amy? i don't think amy would appreciate her name coming up in this type of venue. all right, so don't use the name amy, you know? just tell me how often between you and "gail." could it not be gail? because i have a superior named gail. she's a beast. all right, call her whatever you want. i just--i just-- vanessa. ok, fine. say, rob, how are things between you and vanessa? [low sexy voice] oh, pretty good.

yeah? like how often would you say you and vanessa, you know? to be honestwhy? why?t li what's the matter? well, no, nothing. it's just, you know, you get older and that's what happens. it's natural. yeah, yeah. why are you asking? no, nothing, nothing. oh, wait a minute. raymond, do you have a problem? what do you got for snacks? cheeseballs, cheeseballs. i'm in. you believe this game? it's like they're not wearing cups. a ta so, raymond, what is the problem? hey, robert, this is a pretty good game. we should just what problem? what are you talking about? nothing, dad. nothing. oh, sounds like raymond is having a little trouble south of the border.

oh, yeah? mr. johnson not showing up for work? [whispers] that's a good one, that's a good one. what's wrong with you? what are you talking about this for? well, what's the matter? you want me to have a look at it? oh, my god! there's nothing wrong with me, all right? ray, look, why don't you just ask dad what you asked me? would you stop? what? we're all men. dad, look, how many times would you say that you and mom-- oh, somebody kill me. and look, by the way, you don't have to call her mom. got a system. you can pick any name. another name? yeah. that way it's not embarrassing. uh, i think we're past that. harriet lichtman.

all right, look, dad, forget it. you don't-- you don't got to answer. i already know the answer, all right? your sex drive diminishes as you get older. hey, speak for yourself. what? look, i don't know about harriet lichtman, but as far as your mother and i are concerned, ints are still marching in. look, you don't have to exaggerate. hey, in this department, i speak the truth. all right, yeah. whatever you say. not whatever i say, what is. you can set your clock by me. yeah, if you set it every 20 years. hey, hey, hey, a little respect. look, it's all right, it's all right. listen, sonny, if you're having trouble making the wee-wacky-woo-hoo... you did not get that from me. you want to be honest? let's be honest.

mom told debra how much things have slowed down between you two. well, i might not be where i was at your age, but i think a couple of times a week is pretty good. couple times a week? holy crap. that's right. and now if you'll excuse me, all this talk has kind of put me in the mood. and the food you love is serving up fantastic prizes. everything from red box movies, to a chance to win a million dollar prize on a big mac.

what will you be served up this summer? ♪ "these are exactly what says... what will you be served up this summer? find the pink nike flex

only at famous footwear. victory is yours. olive garden's new lunch combinations. choose from calzones and sandwiches. like our new signature meatball sandwich. served with unlimited soup or salad. so many lunch combin when you go olive garden!

[ superfan ] helper help line. we're on our way. you have got to try this sweet & sour chicken helper. i didn't know they made chicken! crunchy taco or four cheese lasagna? there's 40 different flavors? that's really good. i love cheese. dad's night. helper makes daddy the man. yes. could i get another one of those, actually? thank you. [ male announcer ] hey, america, we're here to help. americashelper.com. we're here to help. we should be having sex 3 times a week. where did you get that from? these are the numbers, man.

if we want to be doing it twice a week 20 years from now, we should be doing it 3 times a week now. what? my father told me his stats. you talked to your father about their sex life? yes, i did, and listen, everything my mother told you yesterday-- lies, ok? my father told me the truth. it's the exact opposite. twice a week. no way! yes! yes! no. that is impossible. your mother told me, flat out, once a year. and since when is she ever straight with you? well, she didn't lie about this, a-and frank would lie especially about this. why? why do you say that? because he's a man. so? so what? i'm a man. yeah, well, you lie to me about our own sex life. when? when do i do that? what does "all night long" mean to you?

it's a figure of speech. nobody really means that. men lie and your father's a liar. that is not true. my mother's the liar. ray, she didn't lie to me about this. opened up? ohh, you're impossible,like you know that?iian on a ukulele. your father makes up a story and you just believe it. because it's true! listen, when your mom and i talked, she told me that she-- [imitating ukulele] ♪ la la-la la ray. ♪ la la-la la ray, i'melling you. [flickers tongue] come on. all right. look, it's already saturday. we gotta do it 3 times tomorrow. ok, listen, i gotta ask both of you a question.

sure, dear. what is it? uh... what are you doing? uh... she--she wanted what is it, dear? um... yes, what is it, dear? we've been getting some conflicting reports, and, uh, what we would both like to know is how often do thtwo of you actually... go to the theater? have sex. [laughs] oh, this is as bad as it gets. oh, my god! marie, listen, i would never ask except--

do you understand the meaning of a private conversation? yes, of course i do, but frank said something that-- what d you say? hey, i didn't talk to her. thanks for blabbing my business. what? what are you so mad about? you were proud of it. just say the number. have you no boundaries?! i don't care. if it's out in the open, it's out in the open. twice a week. oh, frank! what are you saying? don't lie like that. ok, see? hey, who's lying? what's wrong with you? why are we having this conversation? come on, marie, i've got a reputation here. word of mouth is everything in this business. i happen to be a lady, frank. ooh! [moans] what do you mean, marie? is it true? yes, it's true! what?!

see? eww. why did you tell me it was only once a year? because this whole topic is improper. what we do in our bedroom is our own business, and i prefer not to be known as the whore of lynbrook. we can move from lynbrook. look, i don't understand, marie. at are you so ashamed of? she's ashamed to admit she likes it. oh, frank! how do you know i like it? well, who wouldn't like it? why don't you just admit it, marie?

yes, it's true. i enjoy my sex life. all right? yeah. i an, forgive me, but in my day a woman didn't discuss these things. i mean, sex was a wifely duty, and the truth of the matter is that your father happens to be very competent. a-a-and it's obvious that i'm a woman, and i have needs like any other woman. maybe i shouldn't be ashamed of sex because it's a very natural part of life. and if i'm lucky enough to still enjoy the pleasures of it, then i'm going to. robert: oh, god. glad you came over?

frank, tell the truth. it's not twice a week. well, give or take. the point is, we're not dead. you know, i can't believe this, but i actually want to ask you something. go ahead, dear. how can you two be so... shouldn't you two be tired? what's there to be tired about? i don't work anymore. what else do i got to do? and you're forgetting the mo important thing about the sex. oh, god. the kids are out of the house. yeah. for years you were dragging us down. you remember the night when robbie went to his new apartment? [chuckles]

think there's a bottle of scotch with our name on it. hey, uh, don't take this personal, but for the next 6 months, no eye contact. so, what do you think? oh, stop it, frank, i'm tired. all right. the soup's good. what if we could keep that much out of landfills each year. by using just one less trash bag each month... we can. and glad forceflex bags stretch until they're full. so you can take them out less often. it's a small change that can make a big difference. and for continuous odor neutralization...

use new glad odorshield with febreze. ♪ ♪

♪ so, what do you think? i just--i want to, but there's still these pictures in my head. you know--y-you do, you just shake your head like an etch-a-sketch. [groans] what was that? oh. was that something? the kids? no, maybe not. geoffrey: mommy! [both groan] ok, i'll go. thanks. 14 years till college. i'll see you then. captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource

it gets more and more entertaining every day. and once you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- it gets more and more ehow 100% fiber optics. takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. st it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] want to upgrade your entertainment? switch to a fios triple play online for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for two years plus yourhoic of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. fios brings 100% fiber optic power right to your door. that's why it delivers america's fastest, most reliable internet for blazing fast movie downloads smooth streaming video playback. most reliable internet get unbeatableazing fast tv picture quality. so switch to fios for just $89.99 a month

guaranteed for 2 years, and your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. visit verizon.com/hotbonus call the verizon center ing deal. for customers with dabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v. technology that makes life more entertaining, that's powerful.