together. i'm serious. i feel like i need to just make some changes and try to make those changes close to my kids. you know, i was just wondering if maybe you could just let me kind of like rest here for a few days until i get back on my feet. >> you want to stay in this house with mr. brown, will, and sasha? have you been drinking? >> no! no. unh-unh. no. no. no. i've been sober. >> well, that's good. >> i've been sober since, like, like, thursday. >> girl, today is friday. >> well, they say just take one day at a time, okay? it's been one day. i tell you, miss cora, i know it might be hard for you to believe, but i really, really do miss my kids. >> well, i have some pictures i can give you that you can have. >> no, come on, miss cora, please. >> what? >> listen -- all the shelters are full. i'm telling you, miss cora, i'm really trying to get myself together. i really am. >> i-i really don't -- i don't know about this, tanya. i don't know. >> okay. all right.

i understand. let me ask you a question. what would jesus do? >> now, now, don't go bring jesus into this. don't do that. that's not fair. >> got to try. >> well, i am my sister's keeper. i didn't know you was gonna be that sister. >> miss cora, does that mean yeah? >> i guess so. >> thank you, miss cora. >> you're welcome. >> and thank you, jesus. >> go get your things. >> these are my things, miss cora. >> shouldn't we know something by now? >> all the people that know something out there being free! renee, why don't you call somebody to free us?! hurry up! >> no! look -- "a," no, "b," i'm busy, 4, i'm on my break. >> so, why was the patient quarantined anyway? >> look -- what? look. i am just an lpn. i don't know. the only thing i know about

medicine is how to take it, and how to flip it for a small profit, but don't tell anybody. >> [ screams ] >> shh! >> girl, you better hush. sounding like a old moose. [ grunting ] >> i think it's time. >> it's time for what? lunch ain't till 20 more minutes. you done ate enough. >> mr. brown, i think she's going into labor. >> well, she can't work if she pregnant. can't you see she got a baby coming on? >> no, she's gonna have the baby. >> oh, she gonna have a baby? >> where's my husband?! i need a room! >> you need a room? that's your problem. you done had too many rooms. do you even know who the baby daddy is? >> okay. wait a minute. hold up, hold up! get off of her! back up, back up! this is my area of expertise. >> thank you. >> now be quiet and breathe. okay, i'm gonna need you to fill out these forms front and back in triplicate. >> n-o-o-o! >> she having triplicates? triple fornication. >> [ groans ] >> hey. shh. where's your insurance card? >> i left it at home. >> you left it at home? >> i'm sure it's on file.

>> you sure it's on file? no. it should be in your purse! >> i need a room. >> i don't care about you needing a room. i need your insurance card. you are irresponsible, and you want me to help you? you want me to do all the extra work, and you had 9 months to prepare for this? oh, wait a minute. hold up. was this a unexpected pregnancy? is that what we dealing with here? oh, now so you're irresponsible, not good parenting. you know what? sit down. you're making me sick! sit down! ooh! >> excuse me. >> what? >> how can you refuse to help her? >> she is irresponsible. >> you can't just let this poor lady have this baby right here in this waiting room. nope, nope, nope. >> that is right, because everyone has a right to basic healthcare. >> i don't care nothing about no healthcare! i'm talking about because i don't want them baby juices all over my floor! i'm gonna have to mop it up 'cause she was irresponsible, sleeping with about 3 or 4 men, and i don't know who the baby daddy is! i'm not gonna do it! boop. >> cora, this is ridiculous. i don't understand. >> look, look. >> cora, how can you not be on the same page as the rest of us? >> look! hey, hey, look!

tanya's only gonna be here until the church finds her a place to stay. >> well, i still don't like it, cora. tanya's just up to her old tricks again. >> she has nowhere else to go, sasha. >> how do we know we're supposed to trust her this time? >> well, we're gonna have a little faith, that's what we're gonna do. >> no, we're not, okay? she's just lied and played everybody. i'm glad i'm nothing like her. i'm not. >> look, cora, you've already allowed her to come in here and clean herself up. that's enough. >> yes, you have done your good deed for the day, and now it's time for her to go. >> hey, everybody. hey, baby girl. >> i'm not your baby girl. >> g-- changing. now, before y'all say anything about, "you're still on drugs," or, "you don't have a job," or, "you messing with somebody else's husband," i -- ooh. y'all didn't know nothing about that. >> we already said no. >> no, baby. that ain't right. i said, "hell, no." >> hey, this is a christian home. >> yeah, sasha, i thought you

was supposed to be a christian. >> oh, and look who's talking. >> well, i ain't never said i was so holy, okay? >> tanya is trying to turn her life around. >> yeah, well, she can turn right on around and walk out that door. >> you know what, tanya? i don't understand how you can come in here asking us for help after all the hell you put this family through. >> why you got to live in the past, girl? you need to let that go. >> you know what the bible says about helping people, will. >> cora, god helps people who help themselves. >> yeah, and the bible also says, "thou shall not kill," and i'm kind of struggling with that right now. >> ooh, you need to bring that in. you need to bring it in... [ breathes deeply ] ...let it out. i'm serious. i know how y'all feel. >> you have no idea how we feel. >> 'cause if you did, you would not be here right now. >> okay. you know what? it's time for us to put our foot down. >> well, you might as well pick your foot up, because tanya's not going anywhere. >> cora, look, i know that you mean well, but you can't save everybody. >> how could you say that? every soul is worth saving. >> amen!

>> cora, so you're saying we have no say in this? >> no, i'm not saying that. you can say whatever you want to say, but tanya's not going anywhere. >> i guess she told y'all. ♪ jesus is on the mainline ♪ tell him what you want ♪ i want some chicken ♪ tell him what you want i got you, son! now what you gonna do, huh? 'cause, you know, playing checkers takes skills and patience. and in lockdown, your mama had a lot of time to learn some patience. >> i win! >> wait a minute. how did you beat me? >> i cheated. >> oh, i cheat, too, man. you're just like your mama. i'm so proud of you, baby. >> you know, you're pretty fun. you're not as bad as they say. >> is that so? well, give me a pound. ah. come on. remember it? >> okay. it's joaquin's bedtime. >> okay. wait a second. we were just finishing up.

listen, listen. maybe tomorrow i can teach you how to cheat in some dice. >> hey, could you come say prayers with me? >> both: okay. >> i meant my mom. >> both: okay. >> um, i meant her. >> joaquin. >> no, baby. it's okay. >> here i come, son. >> oh. wow. never thought i'd see this day. >> oh, will, don't tell me you're falling for this. >> you got to admit, she's showing some interest. >> yes, she is for today. will, i am still not buying it. >> we're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. >> you mean, we have to wait until she hurts these kids again? >> that's not what i said. >> you know what, will? i don't know what kind of game this chick is playing, but i'm not gonna stand here and wait until she destroys my family.

>> you don't have a gun in that bag, do you? >> i got $50. >> what's $50 gonna do? >> look, tanya is out to get something, and there is no way she's gonna resist this. >> so, what are you saying? are we trying to set her up? >> no, i'm saying that we're trying to expose her. >> all right, baby, i don't -- i don't know about this idea. >> yeah, i guess you're right. give me another 20. >> that's not what i mean. >> look, baby, if she doesn't take it, no harm, no foul, remember? >> i don't know, baby. i don't think that's gonna work. >> [ sighs ] ♪ shield...sneeze...swish

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>> ♪ rock-a-bye, baby ♪ on the treetop ♪ i'm getting time-and-a-half ♪ for slingin' this mop >> give me the mop! give me the mop! if you sing one more tune, i'm putting you intensive care. i-i... >> where are all the doctors? >> look. we are quarantined. they are upstairs with the quarantined patient in i.c.u. >> i see you, but where are all the doctors at? that's what i'm trying to figure out.

>> can we at least get this lady a real bed? >> look, there are no more beds. it's either this or the floor. >> okay, i done told y'all, y'all not gonna let that lady have that baby on my floor. i'm not responsible for all her baby stuff. you can't put me -- you know what? i'll be back. i'll be right back. i got something for this. >> where is he going? >> who cares? >> [ screams ] >> [ groans ] >> now you in pain, too? >> both: yes! >> man, that lady is strong! >> okay. come on. i'm going in. i'm going in. hit me up. all right. >> you sanitized? >> here we go. >> all right. it's kind of... >> i'm going in. oh, da-a-a-a-mn! >> what is it? >> you need a pedicure. look -- look at those toes. they are so jacked up. let me see them. oh, no, this how you trying to bring life into the world, looking a mess like this? are you kidding me? >> will you focus? >> you stay out of my business. i will break you off in segments. >> is she close?

>> look. okay. look. the last time i checked, she was 10 centimeters dilated, and we have until she gets -- you didn't see that. 7 -- 7 centimeters dilated. so there we go. we have 3 more, so we're cool. >> no! we are not cool! she is 3 centimeters past that. she's gonna have this baby right now. >> right now? >> right now! >> wait a minute. you can't have the baby here. >> get this baby out of me! >> okay. all that touching. i don't know you like that. stop, lady. >> 306 is available. >> what are you doing?! you can't kick a patient out of his room! >> i didn't kick him out his room. i rode him. y'all need a bed for this woman? i got you a bed. you gonna be satisfied, or you gonna argue with me? >> 306. we on our way. >> go to the left. to the right, to the left. to the left, to the right. go. break it down, girl. >> ♪ and break it >> [ screams ]

>> just go! >> go, go! go ahead. stay right there. i'm coming, i'm coming. >> i told you, cora. i told you. >> what? i can't believe she took the money, sasha. >> why not? once a thief, always a thief. >> what a shame. i was really rooting for tanya. >> yeah, well, you were the only one. >> it's time for her to go. >> why does she have to go? >> look, joaquin, sometimes, people we care about don't know how much they hurt us. >> hey! y'all know they only gave me $6.00 for that big old bag of cans that i had? y'all know how much beer i had to drink in order to make a profit? i'm just kidding. i started aa this morning. >> great, tanya. we need to talk to you. someone took sasha's money.

>> are you serious? that's messed up. i thought this was a good neighborhood. y'all ain't in nothing but the ghetto. i may as well go back to where i came from. >> it was a good neighborhood till you got here. >> tell them you didn't do it. >> y'all think that i did it? i didn't steal anything. >> i saw you take the money. >> no, little girl, you didn't see me take nothing. let -- [ sighs ] you know what, brianna? maybe you might be making a mistake. >> well, i know that i put it there, and now it's gone. >> you put it? so, wait a minute. what you saying, you set me up? >> no, tanya. you set yourself up. >> if you didn't take the money, would we be having this conversation? >> oh, so you're in on this, too? and what about you, miss cora? >> no, i don't know what to believe right now. >> oh, wow. y'all are funny. you know that? y'all funny. y'all go to your church on sunday, right, and then you sing your little songs about forgiveness, but when it comes

to practicing what you preach, all of y'all are full of it. >> now, wait a minute. >> no. you wait a minute, all right? here's your damn money, all right, it was laying around, so i put it in the drawer. 'cause, see, where i'm from, only a fool gonna leave their money laying around. so if you gonna set somebody up, you learn how to do it right. you got that, baby? >> i knew you didn't do it. >> oh. at least somebody believed me. >> looks like somebody owe tanya an apology. >> sorry. >> yeah, well, maybe she didn't do it...this time. >> kind of sounds like an apology. >> you know what? it's all good. she ain't got to say nothing. you ain't got to say nothing. 'cause you know what? i created this. i did, and i know that. i know it's gonna take some time for me to earn y'all's trust. but i'm gonna do it for me, and i'm gonna do it for them. >> and i'm gonna do everything i can to help you.

>> i am done with this. >> you know what? that one right there, right there, if i could take you by the wig and just -- oh, but thank you, jesus. i'm working it out. if i wasn't saved, jesus. [ sighs ] you know what, you guys? it's all right, 'cause i'm gonna change. i'm changing. slowly but surely, i'm changing. >> wait a minute. there's $5.00 missing. >> i mean, come on. what y'all think this is? a sister had to get her 10% finder's fee. i ain't gonna change overnight. i'm in the intro of the 12 steps. shoot, i don't even know the first step. what's the first step? >> admitting you have a problem. >> ooh, god. oh, hell. that's gonna take a while. >> oh! it's coming! >> aah! okay! who's gonna come with me? you got to hold her hand. >> he will. >> he is. >> oh, come on! man up! >> i don't want to man up.

i don't want -- do you? excuse me. >> unh-unh! not today, girl! >> i can't do it. >> get over here. >> [ screams ] >> whoo! girl, girl, girl, do you know what would look good on you? me. come on, girl. it's our last day. we're quarantined. you don't want me to die unsatisfied, do you? >> [ groaning ] >> mr. -- mr. brown, are you okay? >> [ grunts ] i seen it all! i seen it all! it's not natural! i'm gonna be sick! [ gags ] she had a g-section! aah! >> okay, mr. brown. okay. it's not that bad, okay? it's the miracle of life. >> it's a miracle i'm still alive. >> i need you. come on. >> i don't want to see no more. i don't want to see. what the? >> [ screams ] >> [ whimpering ]

>> what? what? >> i'm never having sex again. never mind. girl, you smell like flowers. >> i did it. i did it. i did it. i need a group hug. i did it with these hands. >> [ groans ]

>> [ groans ] [ telephone rings ] >> oh, wait. that's probably hollywood. they want my story i bet. i did it. >> is it a boy or a girl? >> the lady definitely was a girl. i seen everything, but, you know, it's hard to tell when your only reference is madea. she got different stuff. >> okay. i have an announcement. more good news. the quarantine is lifted. we can all go home. hey, everybody in the hospital, quarantine lifted. go home! whoo! >> oh, yes! >> so, what happened? >> oh, the patient, they had a mild case of hepatitis. >> hepatitis? that's what happen when you do love with no glove. let's go. come on. >> oh, man, i locked my keys in my car. >> what idiot would lock their keys in the car? don't judge me.

the bible says not to judge. xx

>> in today's news, another business owner has been attacked in midtown. >> man, that's the third time this week. >> hakeem jackson of hakeem's bean pies and tanning salon was found badly beaten this morning shortly after 9:00.

>> that's how they got brother malcolm. >> would you shut up and listen? >> the police have just released footage from a surveillance camera. it appears there might have been a witness. if anyone has seen this person, police are asking him to come forward now for questioning. >> wait a minute. that's calvin. >> what's up, everybody? hey, pops. i brought your wallet. but first, i took $20 to get my haircut. >> calvin, the police are looking for you. >> they got you on video down at hakeem's, man. >> wait, wait, wait. boy, you are 3:15 a.m. black. what you need a tan for? >> i was buying a bean pie, floyd. >> well, you know that hakeem got beat up this morning. did you see anything? >> well, i saw a dude entering with a trench coat when i was leaving. when i got to my car, i heard screaming, so i split. >> well, you need to go to the police and tell them everything that you saw. >> boy, don't you listen to dana. you better try to be like lil' kim -- don't snitch. >> you need to go to the police. >> don't worry. i ain't saying nothing. >> good. because they'll flip

the script on a brother. next thing you know, they'll say that you beat hakeem. >> you didn't beat hakeem, did you? >> delante, please. >> all right. the police got ways of tracking you down. >> how, kiki? i don't have a record, and nobody notices me from the video. they can't find me. >> calvin payne? can i talk to you for a second? >> who are you? >> detective morton, atlanta police department. >> look like you been tracked. [ siren wails ] [ tires screeching ] [ male announcer ] you like to try new things. now we have bold new tastes like never before. you like things made by hand. we're now grilling up freshly made egg-whites. you like to cool down. we just added a refreshing new smoothie. you get wrapped up in things. we're introducing new delicious ways for you to eat. there's no one quite like you.

now more than ever, there's something for everyone to love at mcdonald's. be in our ad. go to imlovinit.com there's something for everyone to love at mcdonald's. and i'm here to talk about your bums. these are bum-wipes. do you think that would be quite an interesting addition to your dry routine? yes. so you like using them? i do. because you feel... ultimately clean, i guess. you're welcome to borrow my container. it's new, look at that. would you ever use these? i think i should. would you like to have a go? yeah, we could do that. it's awesome! [ cherry ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. so let's talk about your bum on facebook. where to next? >> hey, babies. >> hi, mom. >> i'm doing my math homework. when is auntie ella coming home? >> she had a doctor's appointment. she'll be back soon, but i can help you with your homework. >> [ exhales sharply ] uh, i'm okay. >> malik, what is the big deal? tell me the problem. i can help you with your homework. >> okay. a bus leaves from school at 10:00 a.m. >> stop reading to me like i'm

3 -- say it. >> traveling 150 miles to a museum. >> uh-huh. >> how fast does it have to go to get there by 12:00? >> 75 miles per hour. see? i told you i could do it. you doubted me, and why is this bus going so fast with these kids on it? >> every time. mom... >> no, i'm just saying. is there a bus attendant on there? are there kids on the bus? >> mom, last i checked, there's just a driver, and this is not real. >> hey, auntie, you want to see the "a" i got on my spelling test? >> that's good, jazmine. >> auntie ella, can you help me with my math? mom gets way too emotional. >> [ laughs ] that's good, malik. >> oh, yeah, and today, a dog with rabies jumped through the window and bit me on my foot. >> ooh, that's good, jazmine! >> she ain't heard a word i said.

>> okay. okay, you two. why don't you take your homework and -- and do it in your room? miss ella, is something wrong? >> mnh-mnh. no, no, no. why you ask? >> you're drinking air. >> okay, janine. something is bothering me. but if i tell you, you have to promise me you will not tell anybody, especially curtis. >> okay. what is it? >> i had a mammogram today, and the doctor... discovered a lump. >> a lump? they found a -- >> janine, janine. >> i'm sorry. >> i'm now waiting for the results to come back from the ultrasound, and then he's gonna call me, the surgeon, and let me know if i have to have a

lumpectomy. >> listen, miss ella. don't worry. a lumpect-- don't worry. everything is gonna be just fine. you are going to be okay. >> i know it, okay? but let's keep it between the two of us... and pray for the best. >> floyd, what they say? >> come on. what's going on? >> i hear white people. >> are they saying anything? >> he's thinking. 7. crown me. >> so what happened, what happened, what happened? >> did they interrogate you? >> yeah. did they break you? >> break me? >> you know, like on "the closer." did they pull your fingernails out? did they strip search you? you can tell me. >> no, floyd. all they did was ask me questions and record my answers.

>> right. okay. tell me later. >> detective, so, what's the deal with the assaults? >> well, we think they're connected to a wealthy land developer by the name of petey washington. >> that's the dude that owns all the property all over town. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. he got a church and a strip club on the same lot. man, you can go from the pole to the pew without crossing the street. and if you think about it, it's actually kind of genius. i mean, you can get your booty and your blessings in the same place. [ laughs ] >> you going to hell with gasoline drawers and a lit match. >> detective, what makes you so sure that it's petey? >> well, rumor has it that if petey wants to buy your property and you don't want to sell, he'll strong-arm you. mm-hmm. >> hold on -- that sounds dangerous. >> detective morton, what's gonna happen now? >> well, the guy you identified is petey's personal assistant, so we now finally have some evidence to link him to these crimes. >> that's good. >> but unfortunately, we can't guarantee your safety, so, calvin, i suggest that you

consider going into the witness protection program. mm-hmm. >> what? >> whoa, whoa, whoa. wait a minute. is it that serious? >> mm-hmm. petey has some serious gang affiliations, and he will do anything to prevent you from testifying. now look, calvin. you think about what we talked about. we'll be in touch. mm-hmm. >> calvin, maybe you should consider going. >> mm-hmm. >> no, no. i ain't afraid of no punk who stands behind his gang. i'm staying right here. >> that's right, i ain't raised no coward. >> yeah, and don't worry, calvin, we got your back. >> that's right. if petey want to get to you, he got to get through me first, you heard? >> and me. >> and you know kiki stays strapped, son. >> all them. not me. [ vehicle approaching ] >> aah! >> i paid my tithes! >> that's the car backfiring. i thought y'all had my back. >> i was taking a nap.

[ all talking ] >> yeah, whatever. >> your front's on you. >> ella, i'm serious. now, until this thing blows over with calvin, i don't want nobody leaving the house. >> this is ridiculous. these children cannot be out of school! >> baby, they can be home-schooled. they not that smart. >> look. that's not necessary. all right. janine or i can drop them off and pick them up from school. >> or -- or you can just give me my own personal bodyguard. then i'd be the coolest thing at school. >> malik, this is serious. >> oh, i am serious. >> well, curtis, i will not be prisoner in my own house. >> ella, i don't want my family in the line of fire. >> that's right. i'm sticking behind pops. he's like my personal teddy bear bulletproof vest. >> get your hands off. >> no. >> would you all stop it?! that is enough talk of death!

>> baby. >> i'm gonna go and check on her, okay? >> [ crying ] okay, god, now. okay. >> miss ella. >> i'm sorry, baby. i just -- i just could not take any more of that talk. >> listen, miss ella, you're not going to die. i've been doing some research, and i found out that only 1 out of 1,000 women who get mammograms are actually diagnosed with cancer. >> really? >> yeah. i mean, some women just have lumpy breasts. >> thank you, baby. >> don't thank me. you were there through rehab and everything else. it's finally my turn to be there for you. >> auntie ella, you have a phone call. >> oh. thank you, baby. >> you're welcome. >> hello. this is she.

are you sure? yes, i will. thank you. yes. the surgeon would like to do the lumpectomy tomorrow. ♪ [ dennis ] let's give it up for second chances. let's give it up for cutting the new guy some slack. ♪ let's give it up for "i'm sorry" and "it's ok". let's give it up for accident forgiveness, from allstate. where your rates won't go up just because of an accident. because to err is human. and to forgive...divine. let's give it up for good. ♪ let's give it up for good. hchocolates with 30% less fat. ♪ ♪ hershey's simple pleasures chocolates, now with caramel. 30% less fat. simply delicious.

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then...we add hot. ♪ because hot makes everything better. [ female announcer ] new hot pockets... mmmm. [ female announcer ] ...with premium cuts of meat and new buttery seasoned crusts. better taste. better quality. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! [ female announcer ] nestle. good food. good life. >> was that petey? was that petey washington called just now? you worried about calvin? don't worry about that. we're gonna get through that. >> it's something else, baby. i discovered i... i have a lump, curtis, in my breast. >> baby, you've always had lumpy breasts. >> the doctor discovered a lump in my breast. that was the phone call, and i have to go in tomorrow for a... lumpectomy. >> tomorrow? >> i'll leave you two alone. okay?

i'll take that. >> thank you. >> ella, why -- why are you just now telling me? >> i did not want to get everybody all worked up over something that just might not be anything. >> when i'm believing it isn't, it isn't. now, you the one telling us about having faith that ye of a sunflower seed. >> a mustard seed, baby. the grain of a mustard seed. but i am a little scared, curtis. >> well, i guess you would be! i don't understand it. what -- what's going on with that, huh? hasn't our family's faith been tested enough?! >> don't do that. now, god has his reasons. >> why, ella? why? come on, baby. come on, now. i'm running around here. i try to live my --

you -- you try to live your life righteous, and now this, cancer? >> curtis, now, one thing i know. god is not gonna put more on us than we can bear, baby. >> ella. baby, we not "jahb." >> baby, who is "jahb"? >> "jahb," baby, in the bible. "jahb" -- he danced before the lord. >> baby, that was...david. >> oh, that's right, that's right. i was talking about the giant, when it was the giant and he killed the oxen. >> [ laughs ] >> that giant was goliath, baby. >> okay. he built the arch. okay? >> noah built the ark. >> baby, he got a whole book. you know who i'm talking about. >> "johb"!

>> yeah, why didn't you just say that? to-ma-to, to-mah-to. job. why his mama spell his name like that in the first place? oh, baby. you right. you right. the payne family has got through a lot. and trust me, we gonna get through this. you think? >> i know it. >> love you. >> love you, too. >> watch out, watch out, watch out. >> what is -- >> yo! >> what you doing, calvin? >> what are you doing? >> calvin, what's going on? >> shh! >> why are you here? i thought you were wanted. >> i need a new look. i want my hair braided. >> don't look at kiki. you know i can't grip that. >> well, can you dye it or something? i need a disguise. >> what's going on with you and the witness protection program? >> i haven't decided yet, but i

don't want to leave my family, and i don't want to leave miranda. >> well, you know, speaking of family, c.j. told us what happened with your mom. is she okay? >> yeah. she's holding up. my dad took her to the hospital for her biopsy, and she'll be home later. >> well, you know, breast cancer runs in my family. >> really? your mom had it? >> mnh-mnh. my dad had it. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. wait a minute. men can get breast cancer? >> yeah, it's true. i mean, it's not as common as with women, but, yeah, they get it, too. >> [ speaking indistinctly ] >> anyways, calvin, you know, i heard that when you go into the witness protection program that you have to get a whole new life. >> well, maybe in your new life, you'll graduate. ha! >> ha ha ha. wait. i guess that means i got to get a new name, too, huh? >> oh, yeah. that's easy. just change it to puffy, puff daddy, or p. diddy. they all available. sean's not using any of them. >> look here. actually, none of that matter. you could change your name to hong kong phooey... no offense, little geisha girl. >> you got one more time. >> look.

if petey wants to lean on the government hard enough, he'll give you up just like that. hear that? you hear that? >> what, what? get down! >> aah! >> what's wrong?! >> it's petey! come here, man! >> no, no, no, no, no! >> he in here! he in here! petey want to see you. >> no! >> psyche. [ laughs ] >> see, you always got jokes. >> i know. it's my store. >> hey, baby, wait. you have to be careful now. slow down. >> auntie! >> stay back! get back! you can't be jumping on her like that. she just came from the hospital. >> hey. >> come on, baby. >> here, babe. >> did you get a shot? >> yeah. what happened? >> y'all got to stay back because she's a little sore. right here, baby. here's the seat. >> thank you. >> go on and sit down. >> curtis! oh, god. curtis, would you... >> you okay? >> don't touch me! don't touch me. >> i knew she got a shot.

>> jazmine, please, i got more than a shot, baby. i got a lump removed and found out it was benign. >> oh, no! >> oh, yes! that's a good thing. that means -- that means i do not have cancer. >> oh. yay! we knew that. >> aah! okay, air kisses, please. air kisses. mwah. mwah. thank you. >> miss ella, are you hungry? i can go in the kitchen and cook you something really quickly. >> no, you ain't gonna cook. stay away from the stove! i done told you that before. we like our house! >> okay. kids, come on. let's go back in here and finish your homework. >> okay, baby. you can go on back to work. i'm fine. >> i'm not going to work. i'm staying right here. >> curtis. >> i'm talking to my baby today. we're gonna spend time together today. >> okay. well, let's talk, then, baby. >> let's talk. >> oh, this is good. >> yeah. >> okay. go.

let's talk about something. >> talk about something. >> take my mind... >> i'm ready. what you want to talk about? >> it was your idea, curtis. what you want to talk about? >> we can talk about anything. we can talk about, uh, how was your day yesterday? >> go to work. we don't have nothing to talk about. "how was my day yesterday?" it was preparing for today. >> oh, that's right. [ laughs ] i don't know. i didn't even think about that. what else we gonna talk about? phew. oh, i got it! i got it! we can talk about tv. >> [ exhales sharply ] >> let's see. what's on channel 37? [ siren wailing ] what's on channel 42? >> go to work, baby. >> miss ella, i also wanted to let you know i -- >> shh! i'm watching tv. >> miss ella, i wanted you to know i scheduled an appointment to get a mammogram tomorrow. >> janine, you have plenty of time. you don't have to get an exam until you are at least 40. >> no, actually, i had an aunt who died from breast cancer when i was younger, and since

it's hereditary, they recommend getting tested sooner. >> i hope more women get tested because -- whew -- this is something. >> well, you know, after you recover, you might want to do a seminar at the help center. you could teach women about the importance of mammograms and self breast exams and, you know, everything. >> and we could teach them about cervical cancer and the importance of a pelvic exam. >> pap smears. >> aah! >> yeah, because we're really uninformed. >> about the pap smears, yes. >> okay, okay! ugh! >> an annual pap smear is -- >> okay, okay! just ask me to leave! >> baby, i thought we were gonna talk! >> i don't want to talk to you. >> i brought you all here tonight to let you know i'm gonna man up, and i'm gonna enter that witness protection program. >> yes! this is a good thing. this is a good day. i get to tell everybody my

cousin calvin, yes, he's bold. he went into the witness protection program. >> malik, you can't tell anybody. >> well, what's the point of you going? >> calvin, you can't go. >> mama, i don't think i have a choice. petey is very dangerous, and if i go, you all are safe. >> calvin, you sure you want to do this? >> he manning up! and if you was smart, you'd do the same thing, go with him. and take janine with you. and take the kids with janine, with you, with calvin. >> curtis. and why are you so brave all of a sudden? what'd these people promise you? >> a new apartment and a car and $30,000 tax-free. >> hello! ella, the boy's just brave. just leave it at that. he's brave. >> calvin, listen, i really think it's a very responsible thing you're doing. >> thanks, janine. petey is very dangerous, and i just want you all to be safe, so i'm gonna man up. i'm gonna do this. [ knock on door ] >> aah!

>> curtis, don't forget me! curtis, where you going?! >> family, calm down. what's up, braveheart? >> oh, i just dropped something. oh! detective morton. you got my check? >> no, but lucky for you, i came by to tell you that petey washington is dead. >> whoo! yes, yes! i mean, god rest his soul. mama, let's pray. >> aah! [ groans ] >> i'm going to question hakeem's wife right now. you folks have a nice evening. >> wait, wait, wait, wait, where -- my apartment, my car? >> well, you know what, calvin? if you graduate, you can buy your own. mm-hmm. >> well, i guess i'm here to stay. >> damn, damn, damn! [ horn honks ]

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served on a toasted pretzel roll, our new bacon avocado chicken sandwich comes with fries and your choice of soup or salad. it's just one of chili's delicious lunch break combos. more life happens here. >> hey! how was your mammogram? >> a little uncomfortable. >> i know, but it only took a matter of minutes, though, right? >> the mammogram wasn't the problem. >> okay, then what's wrong? >> they found a growth. >> janine, what? >> i'm pregnant. want some water? >> for real, janine, what? janine?

hi. what's for dinner? soup. that's it? just soup? yup. 'cause usually, it's like soup and-- ok, do you really want a salad? i'm just saying, something's gotta lure me in here, i mean--

what's it gonna be, the hot water or the mushy vegetables? doug, come on, i worked really hard on this, i chopped, i diced, i even wore an apron, please try it. fine. [slurps] so? mm-hm. it's pretty good. just needs something. what? a slab of ribs. i'm calling smokey joe's. captioning made possible by sony pictures television

creates the perfect smoky eye l'oreal voluminous smoldering liner super intense pigments smoldering it doesn't get more smokin' than this! bewitching voluminous smoldering liner from l'oreal paris honey, did you see my blue camisole? i think i'd be more of a help if i knew what a camisole was. it's like a tank top, only...nicer. anyway i took it out last night and now it's gone. didn't just get up and walk away. i'm sorry, do you think i'm wearing it under here and not telling you? come on! i wanna look nice today.

i'm meeting that girl that i'm mentoring. what are you talking about? you know the thing that my company sponsors, where you can volunteer to help a troubled teen? i thought you said you didn't want to do that. did not. yes you did. you said, "why would i want to spend my time with some pimple-faced reject who's probably gonna end up robbing a liquor store?" doug, the point is that i thought about it, and i can really relate to these girls, you know? when i was a teenager, i did some messed up stuff. after my mom died i... started flunking out of classes, shop lifting-- not to mention promiscuous as hell. wo-whoah, where you going? hey, you know you're not allowed up there. i'm returning carrie's camisole. what!? i was shining the mailbox. i begged you to buy me that chamois at caldor's! all right, boys, i skipped breakfast, i'm starving, so you know the rule. yup. anything we're not chewing, could be yours. i don't believe it. what's up?

over there, a bunch of guys from priority plus. man, i hate those guys. "we offer quality, service and affordable prices." how gay is that? yeah, and they're sitting at our table, you know. come on. lemme-- lemme handle this, ok? gentlemen. i understand you guys aren't from around here, and you probably didn't know but this here, it's an i.p.s. table. has been since 2002. we knew that. why do you think we sat here? [all chuckle at the table] hey, how's that 428 di-cad working out for you? still freezing up by the airport? that's it! easy, easy! he's not worth it. you know what guys? i don't like the smell in here. let's bounce. doug: yeah, we're bouncin'. oh, by the way, try to enjoy your iced tea without sweet and low. yeah. ♪ sweet n low