>> dicky: from >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- denzel washington, from "speechless" minnie driver. and music from usher. and now, by the power vested in me -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, >> jimmy: hi, there. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. that's very kind. i'll say something.

life-threatening and world-changing things going on lately. sometimes it seems like more than ever. but none of them are as foundation-shaking as the news we received about brad and angelina today. i'm sure you've heard, angelina jolie filed for divorce from brad pitt. and of course all the celebrity gossip magazines are claiming victory. you know they broke this story, they broke the story every week for the last 11 years. [ laughter ] over and over and over again. until finally it came true. i don't know, brad and angelina, it's very sad news for them, also great news for tom hiddleston and taylor swift who don't have to be on this coverage anymore. apparently the reason they're getting divorce is she talked about fight club and he specifically asked her not to do that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you.

wonder, you wonder, you wonder what else the tabloids have been right about. are ben and j. lo back together? was kim dumped on her first anniversary? is barack obama gay? i mean, he must be. they wouldn't put it on the cover if it wasn't true. anyway. our thoughts are with brad and angelina and with all of us. it's hard when two people you don't know and have no personal connection to split up. [ laughter ] speaking of unhappy couples, the first presidential debate is less than a week away. on monday donald trump and hillary clinton will face off at hofstra university, which i hope that's not going to preempt "dancing with th [ laughter ] if i miss even one second of vanilla ice doing the paso doble. lester holt of nbc will be the moderator. trump has been insinuating the debate is fixed against him because the moderator is biased. he said lester holt is a democrat, it's a phony system, they're all democrats, it's a very unfair system. unfortunately for donald and his theories, someone looked up lester holt's voter registration. turns out he's been registered

they have to come up with something else, i guess. nbc today released a list of topics they'll cover with the candidates. and they don't usually do this in advance. they're a little bit surprising. first topic, the transpacific partnership. then college tuition reform. then mr. trump please stop shouting. secretary clinton, can i get you a lozenge? secretary clinton, do you need us to call a doctor? finally, no, mr. trump, we did not catch global warming from the me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] those are the main categories. then at the end there will be a freestyle insult section. so that will be fine. it's cute nbc thinks they're going to cover topics. here's my prediction. hillary clinton and donald trump are either going to murder each other on stage, or have amazing sex, possibly both. [ cheers and applause ] hillary clinton is getting -- reportedly getting a very

from former republican president george h.w. bush. president bush reportedly told robert kennedy's daughter in what he thought was a private conversation that he's voting for hillary. his staff said who the former president is voting for is a personal matter but they did not deny it. i never thought i'd see the day where a bush is voting for a clinton. donald trump is bringing people together. [ laughter ] whatever you want to say about him. me jr., should probably be sent to his room and have his twitter account taken away. yesterday he tweeted this. if i had a bowl of skittles and told you just three would kill you, would you take a handful? that's our syrian refugee problem. now a spokesperson for the company that owns skittles said, skittles are candy, refugees are people, we don't feel it's an appropriate analogy. which is well said. i want to add, if there really was a bowl of skittles and three would kill me, i'd probably eat

i love them. then to add a weird twist. turns out the photographer who took that original photograph of the skittles is a refugee himself. for real. i didn't believe it either. [ laughter ] he escaped the turkish occupation of cyprus and now thank god he has the most boring job imaginable, taking pictures of skittles for a living. the lesson is you should probably stay away from donald trump jr.'s house on halloween, okay? [ laughter ] announcement for lovers of frozen waffles. kellogg's recalled about 10,000 cases of eggo's because they might be contaminated with listeria, a bacteria you don't want for breakfast. while the while the eggo recall might give people who eat them regularly a bit of a scare, it also gives our nation's news anchors a chance to cut loose. >> let go your eggo. >> let go your eggo.

>> let go of your eggo. >> leggo of your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> let go your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> leggo your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> leggo your eggo. >> let go of that eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> leggo your eggo. >> leggo your eggo. >> let go of your eggo. >> let go of your leggo -- i said that wrong, leggo your eggo. >> jimmy: don't worry. that was only about half of them, there were a lot more. the show's only an hour. i didn't get a chance to mention this last night. i saw this over the weekend. this is from the rice/baylor football game where the referee made an announcement that i don't think i've ever seen made on television before. >> referee: please refrain from shooting lasers onto the field. thank you. >> jimmy: there are a bunch of imperial storm troopers in the crowd and things got a little out of hand.

when you are a news producer and you send the reporter out to the zoo to go -- well, this result is about the best you can hope for. >> we want to get to that chicken give-away. but one last beauty shot. >> oh! >> i like that. >> man that's a lot of slobber! >> look at that, wow. >> where is this going? where is this going? >> jimmy: get that animal on tinder! [ cheers and applause ] what the hell's going on there? that's a new episode of "america's horniest giraffes." we have a good show with usher and minnie driver and denzel washington is here. [ cheers and applause ] isn't it exciting. i actually have a confession to make to denzel. the other day just for a minute, just a second, i couldn't remember the titans. [ laughter ] i hope he can forgive me. denzel stars in "the magnificent seven." it comes out friday.

critic yehya has a preview of it. yehya was yelling at me in the alleyway yesterday. when i was leaving the show. when am i going to be on the show again? well, here he is on the show again talking about "the magnificent seven." >> hi! it's me, yehya! i will stand up. i talking about the movie behind me because the poster is more large, you know, like big, you know. called "magnif called "magnif six seven." i go down, you can see it send me. the people, denzel washton, very nice guy. he remind me like sydney bootay. he met the movie with a small girl, takota fanny. he do th also he do the movie like he's not very clean cop.

next to him is for the movie "guardian for the gull." chris party, you know. he's in the movie like big dinosaur. dinosaur is mad. you can see his voice, big whhooooh! go watch that go watch that movie, "magnif 7." it's behind me, good movie, good luck! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. we have to take a break. when we come back from the witness news." stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ? with this level of engineering... it's a performance machine. with this degree of intelligence... it's a supercomputer. with this grade of protection... it's a fortress. and with this standard of luxury...

lass. it's everything you need it to be... and more. lease the e300 for $549 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. our history is made from the inside. how will you make yours? i had that dream again -- that i was on the icelandic game show. and everyone knows me for discounts, like safe driver and paperless billing. counts. and everyone knows me for discounts, oh, it's like my father always told me -- "put that down. that's expensive." of course i save people an average of nearly $600, [ voice breaking ] and that's when i realized... i'm allergic to wasabi. well, i feel better. it's been five minutes. talk about progress. [ chuckles ]

show. denzel washington, minnie driver, music from usher on the way. first news for those who live in california. according to scientists at ucla, this drought in which we are currently embroiled could go on for centuries. which to me that's good news, before this report i assumed we'd all be dead by christmas. [ laughter ] they're saying this could go on for hundreds of years. the only solution, the only way to really get people, especially in l.a., to conserve is to come up with a new fad diet where you're not allowed to drink water. [ laughter ] our department of water and power, dwp, is doing their best. their best might not go quite far enough as you'll see here. >> drought-tolerant plants, fake grass, dirt where there once was a lawn. dwp is trying to set an example to save water. at the substation in south l.a. the sign says, we stopped watering the grass to do our part. but did they? the dwp has underground sprinklers watering that fake

>> we're not watering grass, we're rinsing the grass to make it sanitary. >> you're watering it. >> we're rinsing it with water to make it more sanitary. >> jimmy: well, that makes sense. [ laughter ] if it wasn't september i'd assume this was an april fools joke. watering fake grass? they might be smoking it too for all we know. [ laughter ] this is week two of "dancing scandals. protesters interrupted the broadcast. this week the former governor of texas, rick perry, who is dancing in the competition, had an embarrassing moment. yesterday he posted this to instagram, a silhouette of him with his dance partner, "practicing the last move for tonight." you bet he was. [ laughter ] looks like he's either having sex with her or he's a magician and just cut her in half. he deleted the post almost immediately.

but for all the four people who follow rick perry's instagram, this was a shocking development. [ laughter ] why would you follow rick perry on instagram? donald trump as you probly know has yet to release his financial in even though traditionally that's what candidates do. even his running mate, mike pence, released his tax returns. trump has not, he claims he's being audited, his lawyers told him not to do it, he also says people don't care about his taxes. i disagree, i care about his i think a lot of people care. we stopped people who identified themselves as donald trump supporters. we stopped them, told them donald trump released his taxes today, and asked them specific questions about these fictional tax returns in another edition of "lie witness news." >> so as you k >> so as you know, donald trump released his tax returns today. was it legitimate

>> wow. good question. it was, it was entertaining. to him. it's a tax write-off. again, going back to your irs, if it's there, you're going to utilize it. >> what do you think of donald trump listing his primary >> if he does own farms and he's invested in farms, i mean, that's -- as an entrepreneur,

>> i would think that would be a wonderful thing for him to do, because i imagine the dentist couldn't afford it himself. >> what do you think about how donald trump donated $50,000 to jared fogle's legal defense fund fund? >> well, people donate large sums of cash to legal funds every day. if it's to help somebody, >> even disgracedspesman jared his day in court? in court. >> were you surprised to see donald trump wrote off $100,000 for breast pumps for various members of his family? >> no, not surprised. >> why not? >> i don't know. he's, you know -- he wants everybody to be big and beautiful beside him. so, you know. >> i'm sorry, you're under the impression they're breast pumps to increase their bust size? >> yes. >> do you think gold plating a

>> if i was showing off for my friends or i needed it and i had the funds to do it, yes, i would probably do it. >> were you surprised to see donald trump spent $38,000 on that siberiaen tiger for vladimir putin's birthday? >> yeah, i'm not surprised. i would think he would want to gain friends in the business world. >> what did you think about how donald trump is technically hi ? is it okay that he found that loophole? >> every person's leasable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that true? oh, that settles it, he can get away with anything. from u tonight from usher, from the new sh" e. be right back with den [ cheers and applause ] ? was always more than a color.

there's more to emma than you'd expect, and she's always found her more on ebay. you can find your more on ebay too. shop fall fashion today. woah! you're not taking these. hey, hey, hey! you're not taking those. woah, woah! you're not taking that. you're not taking that. you're not taking that. you're not taking that. mom, i'm taking the subaru. don't be late. even when we're not there to keep them safe, our subaru outback will be.

can you ta can you take your 1st step? can you ta ? ? can you walk towards...? (cat meows) ? ?

>> jimmy: welc >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, from the new show "speechless" which premieres tomorrow night on abc, minnie driver is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is his new album, it's called "hard to love," usher from the samsung outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] usher has invited people from all over the world, to dance behind him on our big cisco screen, the wall of america. we're going to have an international dance party on the invited, okay? dancing at hom dancing at home in the living room. tomorrow night, lupita nyong'o, bill o'reilly, we'll have music from jake owen, and on thursday, viola davis and music from rae sremmurd. so please join us for that. our first guest is a two-time oscar winner and one-time equalizer who is saddled up for a brand-new take on the classic western, "the magnificent seven." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome

[ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: how >> jimmy: how you doing? good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] when you first heard that song, that salt-n-pepa song -- >> >> oh, that's right, they say my name. >> jimmy: body like arnold with a denzel fe. >> that's weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that? >> you know. >> jimmy: did you think, what's wrong with my body? >> you know. i bought a thousand albums but -- no, no. it was flattering. >> jimmy: flattering, yeah. must be strange, though, to turn on the radio and something like that happens. >> it was. >> jimmy: there aren't a lot of denzels. it's not like, oh, that was

little kid in school, denzel, i didn't want to be denzel. >> jimmy: why? >> attendance. you're sitting in there, they call everybody's name. mikey, here. joey, here. billy, here. zen -- den -- denzel? >> jimmy: they always got it wrong? >> yeah, i didn't want to be denzel. >> jimmy: a terrible thing for kids. i have a friend, gina. her real name is regime that, every year the teach we're say re-gine-na and everyone would laugh. it would get past it. >> i was called ginger ale. i said what did you say? >> jimmy: that was a teacher? >> no, it wasn't a teacher. >> jimmy: it wasn't a teacher, okay. >> ginger ale? i said, what? gin dell? i said, zendell, pencil, stencil? >> jimmy: i bet they don't call you that anymore, do they. mercedes denz? no? [ laughter ]

last time you were here you were about to begin horse training for this movie "the magnificent seven." how long did you wind up training to ride a horse? >> including the filming, i was probably on one close to a year. maybe eight months, a year. >> jimmy: when you go out, do you pick your horse? do they give the horse to you? >> they picked a nice, calm horse for me. >> jimmy: okay. >> it's not like -- >> jimmy: not like going to an auto dealership where you test drive a bunch of horses? >> you don't want a young horse. too feisty. you want an older fellow. >> jimmy: how old was your horse? >> i don't know. i don't know. but i loved it. i got into it. we would ride outside, about an hour outside of town. you get to know your horse. i'd always walk him and pet him first and talk to him. hi, i'm stencil. whatever. pet him, wash him, feed him. >> jimmy: what was his name? >> palone. >> jimmy: what happens at the end of the movie after you've

animal? >> no, that's what he did to me. >> jimmy: he did? >> no, no. that's it, that's it. >> jimmy: that's it? >> that's the movie business. >> jimmy: do you think it will be like that youtube video, animal trainers left the lion in the jungle, then they went back to the jungle and they saw the lion, the lion charges at them, you think, lion's going to kill them.he lion, roll around. will you and palone do that? no? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i was trying to think, how would he hug me? >> jimmy: that >> jimmy: that's true, it's hard for horses to hug. that could be a great next film, "horses can hug." >> it was a good relationship. >> jimmy: you spoke at dallas cowboys training camp. is that part of the cowboy thing? or was that just a -- >> no, when i was -- no, no, no. >> jimmy: the cowboys train in oxnard, not far from here.

year. >> jimmy: both years. >> since i was a kid, and i saw bob hayes play, i wanted -- i like the cowboys. so they were my team. >> jimmy: right. >> i stick with my team. i like the giants. but bob hayes was a black guy. >> jimmy: right. >> who was fast. i was a black guy. who wasn't fast. [ laughter ] but, you know. just as a kid, whatever reason. plus they were just cool and they were america's team. >> jimmy: same here. i lived in las vegas and i like tony dorsett. that is the guy. even though he's a black guy who is fast, i was not fast or a black guy, either of those two things. >> it's not too late. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's too late for fast. >> it's too late for fast. no, but -- and i stuck with my team. all through the '60s, '70s. dorsett, even before dorsett, duane thomas, walt garrison. >> jimmy: what do you say to a team when you speak to them? you're an actor, you play roles, but you're not really that guy.

who -- i won't say his name, a real quiet guy, behind the scenes kind of guy. he's a very powerful guy. and he had a stroke. and he was talking to them about how life was precious. and how they should take advantage of their life on this earth. because he's accomplished all these things and he had a stroke and it was like, oh. you can go like that. he ended up, his speech, with -- the time is now, you need to live, you need to do it now, find a way to work together. they got all this applause and i followed up behind him and i said, the time is now. the press came out and said that i said the time is now. in fact, he did. >> jimmy: he wrote that dialogue for you. >> and i took advantage and ran with it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for the cowboys the time really is now. >> it is. >> they came out and lost their first game. >> yeah. and their quarterback. >> jimmy: and tony romo got hurt again. >> the young kid is good. >> jimmy: he is good. but -- yeah, it will be nice when romo gets back in there.

>> well. >> jimmy: or your speech will have been in vain. >> the time is now, before romo gets back. >> jimmy: we'll take a break. we'll see a clip from the new movie. it's "the magnificent seven." denzel washington is here! be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ? by willie nelson ] ? on the road again ? in," [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] ? just can't wait to get on the road again ? [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] ? on the road again ? ? like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ? [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just $199 a month. this is the story of how mr. bonejangles met his match. mr. bonejangles was always looking for something.

y... seven in dog time... exactly what he didn't know he was looking for fell right in his lap. was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price? no, of course not, he's a dog. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. can a toothpaste do everything well? this clean was like - pow. it felt like i had just gone to the dentist. it just kind of like, wiped everything clean. my teeth are glowing. they look great. they are so white. crest hd 6x cleaning. 6x whitening. and at two weeks, superior sensitivity relief to the leading sensitivity toothpaste. i actually really like the two steps!

eautiful smiles for life. you love all-day breakfast. i love all-day breakfast. but you don't love that you can't get all your favorites all day. i don't love that. but now you're gonna love that you can get more all day. like mcgriddles. i love mcgriddles... so you'll have to find something else to not love. hey buddy! like exploding fist bumps. pggggggghew! or forgetting what you're about to do. wait...what was i about to do? or when people who say you look like... james lipton. oh man...it's uncanny. get more choices you love, now with all day breakfast. i struggle with bipolar depression, and it's tough. it leaves me feeling sad and empty. it makes it hard to be there for the people i love. so i talked to my doctor and she prescribed latuda. there are many forms of depression. latuda is fda approved to treat bipolar depression

once-a-day latuda was proven effective for many people with bipolar depression. latuda is not for everyone. call your doctor about unusual mood changes, behaviors, or suicidal thoughtse these in children, teens, and young adults. elderly dementia patients on latuda have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor about fever, stiff muscles and confusion, as these may be signs of a life-threatening reaction, or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these may be permanent. uda and medicines like it, and in extreme cases can lead to coma or death. other risks include decreased white blood cells, which can be fatal, dizziness on standing, seizures, increased cholesterol, weight or prolactin, trouble swallowing and impaired judgment. avoid grapefruit and grapefruit juice. use caution before driving or operating machinery. being there for the people i love means i get to be a part of life's little moments. nsch to me. being there for the people i love

pay as little as a $15 copay. visit latuda.com. ?

uren where you can create the perfect outdoor living space. now through october 10th, everything is on sale. get 25% off select outdoor collections. plus, enjoy thirty-six month, no-interest financing. shop rugs, lamps, pillows and more. come in today and save. with havertys, your home can be perfect, even when life isn't. the fall savings event. havertys.

what's tha what's that fer? >> information. looking for a man. big fella. about your size. >> what's his name? >> name his mama gave him was daniel harrison. but sometime he goes by the name potter dan. >> jimmy: that >> jimmy: that's denzel washington in "the magnificent seven." you'll have that for the rest of your life, right? >> well, i may have lost it already. but we were all -- you know, there's a competition. you know, it was seven guys up there. a lot of testosterone. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so chris was good with

chris pratt. ethan. vincent was very good. this kidman will, the spanish kid, he was the best. >> jimmy: he was the best one? >> he'd spin this this way. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> take one out like that. then he'd go -- >> jimmy: you'd pull a kid hike that aside and go, hey, take it easy, i'm taken zell washington. >> no. i go to the director. he's great but he's not going to do the movie. >> jimmy: everything but his hands will >> he was good. >> jimmy: is the hat a very important part of being a cowboy? is there a lot of decision-making put into which hat you're going to wear? >> it's for shade. >> jimmy: it's for shade? >> you need it. black man, black hat, black shirt, black vest, black pants, black socks, black shoes, on a black horse. ] [ laughter ] with black underwear. [ cheers and applause ]

it was 105 degrees every day. serious, it was hot. >> jimmy: that's why i would never do -- you have the ability -- you could choose any kind movie you want to do. if somebody said, how about a cowboy movie? i'd go, no, thank you. it's dirty and hot. >> yeah, but i never get offered -- they don't make that many. >> jimmy: yeah, they don't make many. are there other genres you'd hike to make? a superhero movie? >> i won't fit in the tights. >> jimmy: anything you have in mind? >> i don't like to think that way. i don't want to be another cowboy right now. >> jimmy: right. >> i just li >> jimmy: because as a kid, that's what you play. if there's ever an acting role that you're kind of born into, it's cowboys and indians. >> exactly. >> jimmy: none of the kids want to be the indians, they're always the cowboys, because the cowboys have the cool tools and stuff like that. all of a sudden you're a little kid again. >> right. see, i suffer from -- not traumatic, what do they call it, pst -- whatever they call it. >> jimmy: ptsd. >> when i was a kid, most people

you had "ed sullivan" and you had "bonanza." that's what you watched, then you went to bed. i watched "bonanza" but i was always trying to work out a way to waste time so i could stay up. so in a sense i didn't like "bonanza" because then it was time for bed. >> jimmy: a lot of the things when we were kids you watched because it was the only thing to watch. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i feel like we missed something. like there's really -- >> tv tv doesn't go off anymore. how can people people here are post-tv going off. >> jimmy: they don't know what you're talking about. >> they don't even know. they're too young. there's one guy. all right, all right, put i this way. who remembers when tv used to go off? [ cheers and applause ] oh! not when your father and mother told you. >> jimmy: like when it signed off. there was no more. the national anthem came on.

>> jimmy: after this show tonight we're turning the networ[ errs and applause ] denz w to "the magnifint ea fri we'll be right back with minnie driver. [ cheers and appla it's h it's here. the amazing new iphone everyone's excited about. and t-mobile is the best place to get it.

tream, watch and play as much as you want. all onk. and get 4 lines for just $35 per month each with unlimited everything from t-mobileone on the amazing new iphone 7. it's end it's endless shrimp at red lobster. with another new flavor you never saw coming... grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp. and try as much as you want of flavors like

it ends. this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain. and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, fther d ead clin imadults. humira is the number #1 prescribed biologic ilyour ab ftoht infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist

man, i'm glad aflac pays cash. aflac! n'major dil enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat we got married in june... ...on tunaday. there's a subway? $3.50 sub of the day to help you remember life's important days. every day a different six-inch sub for just $3.50 at subway? every day of the week. her name is teri... ...she was born on sweet onion chicken teriyaki day. this is lynchburg, tennessee. this is how many people were born here. this is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee.

r it a little wet. this many are proud of what we make here. this is how many will go around bragging about it. this is our town. for 150 years, the home of jack daniel's. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards.

>> jimmy: welc >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from usher. our next guest is an oscar and emmy-nominee whom you know from, among other things, pretending to be attracted to matt damon in "good will hunting." her new tv show "speechless" pr 8:30 on abc. please say hello to minnie driver. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: so >> jimmy: so i was looking at your twitter. you said you got -- you had to get a steroid shot for laryngitis. >> i'm only joking. i really did lose my voice. >> jimmy: for real. i thought this was some sort of weird promotion for

since it's the title of the show. >> it was pre-existing. >> jimmy: did they give you the shot in the mouth or into the neck? >> the bum. >> jimmy: they did? that's a long needle. [ laughter ] >> i will not take that as a compliment. >> jimmy: wait a minute, though. it's for your throat, right? >> yeah, but a steroid just goes into the muscle. it goes everywhere. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> i have 24 hours until i turn back into a silent pumpkin. >> jimmy: did you lose your voice at the emmys? >> yeah, i was at the emmys. i don't think i lost my voice because of that. we were -- i've got to tell you, when you go into the emmys, the first thing everybody wants to do is have their picture taken so they can check the pretty dress. it was very hard this first sunday. we're standing there, melting. i'm melting. viola davis, john travolta, the vast of "veep," the cast of "silicon valley," we're all melting together. but we're waiting because we're civilized people.

>> as we stand there melting, this chick comes gunning up the side of the line, tall, beautiful girl. >> jimmy: oh. >> most likely -- you know what she's on that show "mr. robot," let's call her mrs. robot. she shimmys up to the security guard. i don't know whether she offered him her gift bag or something else. and he lets her cut the line. cuts in front of viola davis, john travolta. >> jimmy: oh my goodness! >> i'm standing there with kuma, zach woods, reid scott from "silicon valley," "veep." >> jimmy: they're all mad. >> yeah. i'm madder than they are. i'm like, listen. two minutes later, they pull me to cut to the front of the line to get my picture taken. and it turns out i am no better than mrs. robot. [ laughter ] i went. see you later! i'll see you later! good-bye! [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: that's pretty funny. >> i'm horrible. >> jimmy: well, what are you going to do? you got pulled to the front, you go to the front. >> that's how it goes. >> jimmy: i saw your show, it's really funny and really good. i mean, like no kidding around. really, really good and really funny. people are going to like it a lot. it's an interesting -- it's not your typical sitcom. you put -- well, talk about the show and the character that you play. >> the writer of the show grew up in a household, his brother was nonverbal, cerebral palsy sufferer. he wrote about his family, his brother, his mom, his sister. i play the mom. we have no money. we move into a nice neighborhood so our kids can go to a good school. we live in a [ bleep ] house. >> jimmy: is his mom the same as your character? because your character is kind of a ball-breaker. >> i think she is. i think she's a lot more than even i am. i think mrs. sylveri is top of

i think i'm just scratching the surface. >> jimmy: being an amazing warrior mother is great when you're the child of that person. but when you're everybody else in the vicinity? it can be a huge pain in the ass. >> she's a giant pain in the ass. in fact, that's what my agent calls me, he goes, i've got this script and no one really wants to do it, everyone's worried because she's not likeable, she's a giant pain in the ass, i thought you would be perfect. >> jimmy: really. why did he have that thought or she have that thought? >> because she's really difficult but -- the thing is, when you're english, i realized if they let me be english, you can say terrible things when you're english. >> jimmy: that is true. >> i can call you a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: right. >> you think i'm saying you're a charming ray of sunshine. >> jimmy: also we know that certain words that are very offensive here, like [ bleep ] for instance. >> when i say [ bleep ], it gets

not. >> jimmy: it would not. why? are they spelled differently? >> no, spelled exactly the same. it's because you have a long "a." >> jimmy: i see. [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: see, you're testing this theory right now. because now there's somebody there. >> this is never going to be okay. >> jimmy: who is deciding whether to bleep or not bleep right now. >> oh, it's wrong. >> jimmy: exactly, exactly. so one of the two ki o palsy. >> yeah, micah fowler has cerebral palsy. and he's a magic actor. i think people are going to fall in love with him. >> jimmy: i think so too. yeah. >> funny, sly. >> jimmy: it's a very -- it's not a typically respectful -- i mean, there tends to be when you're with somebody who's disabled, that people act differently and treat them maybe like babies or something. >> exactly. they'll talk loudly.

challenges, but his mind is beautiful and amazing and sharp. he himself is full of alacrity and humor and he's a great actor. but it's so good it's a comedy. i'm sick of seeing disabled people, people with special needs, whatever the verbiage you choose to use, depicted as people who can't wait to die and want to get away from it and it's awful. these are robust, amazing lives that need to be celebrated and knows. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i agree with you. i will say this. i think in a way, i think this is human nature. i know it's terrible to say. when you talk like that, people think, oh, this is some serious show and i'm going to have to -- it's going to be a little bit of a bummer. but it isn't at all. and in fact, the kid is kind of -- >> kind of an ass. >> jimmy: kind of a jerk, like everybody else, he's a typical

congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it came out great. it's called "speechless." it premieres tomorrow night on abc. minnie driver, everybody! be right back with usher! >> dicky: the >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by

>> dicky: th >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank denzel washington, minnie driver and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but this is his album called "hard to love." here with the song "no limit" with a little help from people all over the world, usher! ? ? ? usher ? ? jimmy kimme ? jimmy kimmel ? ? people around the world dance with me now ? ? make you say uh no limit got that master p no limit baby give you that black card no limit ?

somebody like me there's no limit baby ? ? make you say uh no limit i c-murder that no limit baby give you that ghetto d girl no limit ? ? just know when you roll with somebody like me there's no limit baby ? ? you know you fine baby you know that you fine i'm just tryna make you mine ? ? tryna make you mine yeah i'm tryna make you mine put a tingle in your spine ? ? we got to vibe we got a wave you should ride on it all the places i cou t limitless ? ? so if you never been girl i would just love to take you there ? ? you don't have to worry 'bout a thing i got it let me show you better than ? ? cause i may not know you just let me hold you you be my soldier and you from the 'nolia ? ? make you say uh no limit got that master p no limit baby give you that black card ? ? no limit just know when you roll with somebody like me

? make you say uh no limit i c-murder that no limit baby give you that ghetto d ? ? girl no limit just know when you roll with somebody like me there's no limit baby ? ? cars on decline baby the cars on decline you roll with me you miss shine ? ? baby we shine yeah lil mama we shine just pick a destination go 'head show me ? ? you can get like everything show me like any car any house baby you can get like ? ? any ring anything you knock it knock it down all through the night all through the day yeah ? ? i knock that [ bleep ] out baby you call me sugar ray yeah ? ? 'cause i may not know you just let me hold you you be my soldier and you from the 'nolia ? ? make you say uh no limit ? got that master p no limit baby give you that black card no limit just know when you roll with somebody like me there's no

? make you say uh no limit i c-murder that no limit baby give you that ghetto d ? ? girl no limit just know when you roll with a [ bleep ] like me there's no limit baby ? ? you finer than wine baby girl i ain't lying make my homies drop a dime ? ? commit a crime jeopardize my lifeline just to see your vital signs ? ? ain't no limit babe we do it larger ain't no limit babe when you a starter ? ? fill the session with bacardi barbies ? ? kerosene kerosene promise spin washing machine ? ? thin waisted primadonna never limit i'm a stoner ? ? tinted out them never renters [ bleep ] them boys they always 'ginners ? ? polished sheen and rag denim i'ma spend my night with 'dem ? ? i could put karats all over yl you karats all over you ?

[ bleep ] man i been getting high with these fools ? ? and she said all her friends fake was solo rocking ? ? and she a real bad bad [ bleep ] she ain't gotta photoshop it ? ? uh no limit ? i c-murder that no limit baby give you that ghetto d girl no limit ? ? just know when you roll with somebody like me there's no limit baby ? ? i c-murde ? i c-murder that no limit baby give you that limit ? ? just know when you roll with somebody like me there's no limit baby ? ? ? ? ? ?

[ cheers and [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ? ? ? she ? ? she got me throwing spades ace with that mouth ? ? i guess only time going to tell you got to give me dirty love ? ? i guess i'm down too ? ? she love the way i put the pennies in right away ? ? that's back to how i've been feeling i just love the times when i'm beside you ? ? holding me down because you're my rider ?

higher ? ? nothing in this world i hold tighter ? ? without you i feel uneven ? this is this is "nightline." >> tonight, justice at last. she was wrongfully convicted of murder, spent four years in an italian prison. now amanda knox is speaking out. >> it was this attempt to project this like monster onto me. >> saying it could anyone. how she's using her ordeal to help others. plus competitive pole dancing? the sensuous art has gone from strip to sport. hundreds of athletes training year round to do tricks that would make your head spin in an arms race for the championship. and waiting in the wings. who could dare keep the most powerful man in the world in a holding pattern? even air force one is only as fast as its slowest passenger.