"jimmy k "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, benedict cumberbatch isla fisher this week in unnecessary censorship a m and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: t >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. very nice of you.

i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. wow, that's very nice. i'm glad you're with us. you know, we have a good one tonight. we have a superhero on the show, benedict cumberbatch is with us. stars in the new marvel movie "dr. strange". it's the story of a neuro surgeon that gets drawn into a it's based on the life of dr. ben carson. how many of you watched the debate last night? how many of you did not watch the debate last night? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: okay, good. we got some dummies in the audience. i like that. last night from las vegas, trump versus clinton three, and just like that we're one step closer to never having to watch cable news again. it was the third most watched debate in history.

watched/screamed at their tv. there were a few more catch phrases and guillermo got a new hat out of it. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i like that. are you selling those? >> no. they're free for the bad hombres. >> jimmy: the only problem is he pronounced the word homres like this. >> we we're going to get them -- >> jimmy: they mean what? >> hungry. >> jimmy: what do they call hungry man dinners in spanish? >> ombr? hombre. >> jimmy: there were a number of zingers last night. i thought this was a good one too. >> it is up to us to make that true now and in the future and particularly for our children

>> mr. trump? >> nobody has more respect for women than i do, nobody. [ [ applause ] >> jimmy: that was good. donald trump respects women more than even they respect themselves. that's important to remember. trump needed a strong performance in the debate. his poll numbers have been dropping, and after last night, machine. he refused to say whether or not he would accept the outcome koft election. he said he'd look at it at the election and keep us in suspense. that's a controversial thing to say, so today people went nuts. he clarified today, and hopefully this will put that issue to bed. >> ladies and gentlemen, i want to make a major announcement today. i would like to promise and

supporters and to all of the people of the united states that i will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election if if i win. [ laughter ] [ >> jimmy: i feel the same way. now he's just screwing with us, right? has to be a joke at this point. speaking of jokes, tonight this is interesting. clinton and trump are at a dinner together. the al smith dinner. he was the governor of new york 20s, and the dinner is a charity event thrown annually. it's a tradition in the candidates to show up and tell

in 2012 mitt romney and obama. tonight hillary and donald are one seat apart with a cardinal sitting between them like an unhappy couple hoping to get their majrriage annulled. donald trump is not a self-dep ro kating guy. a lot of people believe he got into politics because he was roasted. fun of him, he might try to run for pope. i want to say congratulations to the cleveland indians. this is a big one. the cubs haven't won the world series since like 1425 or something. like 60 0 years. to capture the excitement in a tequila bottle, we sent

players in this exclusive on field report. >> guillermo: who what are you going for halloween? >> i might be myself. >> jimmy: why? >> it's a good costume. >> jimmy: that's going to be very scary. when you play balk and you don't want to get too excited, too do you think about sex? >> no, because then i'll get really excited. >> jimmy: what's your favorite base? >> home base. yeah. >> guillermo: one of my favorite bases with girls. >> i got a girlfriend. >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> guillermo: what's her favorite base? can you sign my ball? >> which one? >> here. >> a basketball?

>> wh >> where? [ speaking spanish. >> guillermo: i like how you hold the ball, my ball, i like how you hold my ball. >> a basketball, not your ball. i'm holding a basketball right now. >> guillermo: last thing, can i touch your beard and you can touch my mustache and good luck tonight. >> yeah. let's go. >> guillermo: now you can touch my mustache. >> oh. >> guillermo: good luck tonight. >> i think mine. you do a better job than me. >> guillermo: remember when you pitch, you got to follow through. okay? you left, so you step like this and you go, and then. all right? >> just like that? >> guillermo: just like that. show me? >> you did it. that's it. >> guillermo: show me how you do it. >> i just step. yeah. >> guillermo: you have work more on that. >> i have to work on it? >> guillermo: yeah. >> okay.

hug for good luck? >> thank you. i got to get ready. >> guillermo: okay. >> i got to give 115. >> guillermo: okay. i'll come with you. now we've become friends. that's it from the locker room. this is guillermo. back to you, jimmy. >> thank you, guillermo. game and the world series starts tuesday on fox. it is thursday night which as you know means it's time to bleep and blur the tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is this week in "unnecessary censorship." >> good evening. let me be the last person to welcome you to tonight's debate and also the last person to [ bleep ] you. >> what we want to do is to repleni replenish.

once in the middle of the day and [ bleep ] at night. i like [ bleep ]. >> the dodgers playing is obvious. carefully [ bleep ] everyone else. >> in a word your one word of advice for donald? >> [ bleep ]. >> is it sad that i always obey the law? i have all the documents. i have very clean [ bleep ]. >> called bernie sanders a [ bleep ], did you? >> >> we broke >> we broke the record? is it the biggest ever, grandpa? >> well, it's certainly the biggest [ bleep ] i've ever seen, and i've seen lots. >> donald trump is a man who sees a [ bleep ] and wants to [ bleep ] it.

bird was in las vegas for the debate. we send jake to all the big political events. this is what we got from him at the republican national convention. >> give the guy some air. he's hilarious. i love you. chicken pardon me. chicken pardon me. >> when we come back, jake bird takes the trump train to vegas. stick around. (foo (foot steps) ? (crickets chirping) ? (jet engine) ? (heart beat) ? (water splashing) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) ? lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for $349 a month

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show. show. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from flatbush zombies, isla fisher. first the presidential debate

also there donald trump's number one supporter, jake bird. jake made a pilgrimage to vegas to file this very special report. >> good morning from las vegas. i'm staying at the trump hotel and look at this. unlimited shrimp. it's warm. ? you take the high road and i'll take the low road ? ? and i'll be in the white house before you ? wrong. wrong. wrong. i'm from california. can i tell you something?

>> free >> free billy bush. everybody is getting on donald trump's case about locker room talk. let me tell you something, i know about locker room talk. i remember it from high school. everyone says isn't it cool how the coach gives us wine coolers and why is he taking showers with us again, and when i have big boy hair, i'm going to shave it like the coach. it's just locker room talk. i would like to full of nickels on donald trump to win the big debate. i'm going to go for a ride on a sex bike. i've seen larger. who a who are you convincing to now come to you and see you as a presidential candidate? >> vote for hillary. she's to pretty, and i love her so much.

>> oh. >> she's not my first choice, this i can tell you. >> i would certainly say the news coverage has been stilted. i really don't know about rigging -- >> i'll tell you, the entire thing is rigged. guys like us can't vote, what, because of public urination charges? you sit through the whole "secret life of pets". it doesn't happen. not getting fooled i keep forgetting. >> i'll be voting for donald trump based on the issue explained in this speech. >> exactly. he has it all going on. everyone is getting on donald trump about attacking ladies and grabbing their baby caves. listen to what he wrote. crippled america. page 27. >> i'll take to you after. you didn't read this. >> first class. the blonde walked on. i grabbed her and gave her a god sha lacking with my tongue.

she reached around me and starting massaging my very sensitive nipples. >> is that clinton? who are you talking about, clinton? >> they said warm nuts? yes, they are, i said. >> i'm sorry. donald trump is just the most dangerous person ever to run for the presidency of the united states. and that's my opinion. and i'm entitled to it. >> you are. this guy said why doesn't donald trump like because the pussies grab them. >> a big issue right now is economic, safety, and health care. >> exactly. the femme karats want to talk about transgerunders using bathrooms. hillary clint hillary clinton deleted she mails. they're gone. >> the debate is starting.

hot slots. i would like one shot of grownup liquor every time they say the v word. this guy is buying. >> >> if you become president this country is going to be in some mess. such a nasty woman. excuse me. my turn. it has been a disaster, and i didn't even apologize to my wife. >> well, let's go get paid. donald trump won. where any nickels at? where are my nickels at? >> what the [ bleep ] did you just say? >> just locker room talk. >> thank you, jake.

>> tonig >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from flatbush zombies, isla fisher is here and we'll be right back with benedict cumberbatch. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by masterpass. don't just buy it, masterpass

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>> jimmy: to >> jimmy: tonight from the new movie "keeping up with the joneses" isla fisher is here. then from brooklyn, new york their album is called "3001: a laced odyssey" - flatbush zombies from the crown royal outdoor stage. >> jimmy: next week we'll be visited by felicity jones, mario batali, gordon ramsay, andrew garfield, miles teller, our pal science bob pflugfelder will amaze we'll have music from jimmy eat world, conor oberst, will ferrell and president barack obama. >> jimmy: our first guest is an oscar-nominated actor and sorcerer supreme he plays the master of the mystic arts in marvel's "dr. strange"- it opens in theaters and imax november 4th, please welcome benedict umberbatch. [

? >> jimmy: ve >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: how's it going? thank you for coming. i know the premier is just across the street. >> they have just finished building. it's exciting. >> jimmy: they closed down the hole block. >> i know. a lot of traffic to get through. it's very exciting. >> jimmy: we're used to it here. are you excited? >> it's the first time i get to see the film. >> jimmy: you've not seen it? >> no. there's always a butterfly in the stomach when you s're seein it for the first time with people. >> jimmy: i love that i've seen it and you haven't. i'm not in the movie as far as i know. >> is it okay? >> jimmy: it's great. it's really good, and i love dr. strange. that's one of my favorite

you're a little kid and you imagine having these powers, and it's different from the other super heros. there's a super natural element that i like. you'll be pleased, i think, when you see it. >> thank you. i'll come back and tell you. >> jimmy: are you comfortable with watching yourself on screen? >> never. that's why i wanted to do it in a worldwide premier. ease me into it. it's weird. i get when they hear themselves back on an answering machine. >> jimmy: that's a good point. >> that's like watching your work as an actor times a thousand. >> jimmy: when people hear their voice played back, they're like i don't sound like that. >> i've never heard anyone say i sound great. >> jimmy: donald trump, i bet he thinks he sounds great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: guaranteed. >> i was wondering how you were

there she is. the english examination board, i don't accept those results. i did not win, so i -- >> jimmy: what were your results? for they satisfactory? >> they were not the results i actually got. something was definitely fixed. >> jimmy: when you're in the theater and watching the movie for the first time, i would imagine the people around you are going to be very aware of your presence. >> yeah. that's a point. i haven't thought of that. yeah. j >> that guy on the screen. >> jimmy: and if they do -- >> i'll growl at them if they text. i'll get english and middle class and talk loudly in the quiet bits. >> jimmy: do you feel compelled to react and clap? >> oversupport my own place? yeah. no. now you're going to make me feel like i'm really self-conscious. >> jimmy: if you're not self-conscious there -- >> a blank face.

a number of locations? >> we did. >> jimmy: hong kong is one of the locations? >> hong kong, london. we rebuilt what we used of hong kong because it was complex. we couldn't have shot it like people see it in the movie. we filmed in london, and in long cross. we also filled in kathmandu. it was it was amazing. when i was a student after i got the a level count, i went on a trip teaching to monks in india. but we took a week out the other come tiers a come tiers a volunteers and i. we were only in kathmandu a day and a night to plan the trips. one of the plans was a map but not a guide into the walk into the himalayas. there were four of us. mountain sickness struck, and

us? >> jimmy: they died? >> no. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> that's the kind of ribbing i like to give. talk casually about two friends who passed away on a trip. that's how i like to promote a film. >> jimmy: phillip and bob, we'll miss them. >> great air time on a talk show. no, seriously, they were fine, i think. and it was scary, but they lived to tell the tale. they went back down the hill. it felt le it was high enough to get mountain sickness. we carried on without a guide with maps. they were poor. pre gps. i started to get the same mountain sickness, and you have to go fast down and we literally reached one of the metaphor forks in the road. we went down the path and went

and then rocks and cliff and we were lost for a day and a half and a night. it was quite scary. we found our own way back to this plateau walking through -- we went through a river and a bit of jungle at the lower part of the mountain, and then broke onto a pastureland that was something out of the sound of music. julie andrews didn't find us. some kindly shepherd did, and we hunger. >> jimmy: what is the universal sign for that? >> i think it's something like this. it's just like a baby sandwich. >> and did they fed you? >> we had a delightful meal of greens and boiled eggs. nothing to do with cooking, but i think i got an amoeba. so the adventure wasn't over. >> jimmy: when we're in college,

up our up our shirts. it's a different experience. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll see a clip from your new movie "dr. strange". benedict cumberbatch ihere. ? ? ? ? hi, how can i help?

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my mother passed 2003, but she always told me i don't care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to.

>> jimmy: be >> jimmy: benedict cumberbatch! "doctor strange" opens in when you put on the dr. strange, do you call it a costume? >> i should think so. >> jimmy: the first time what happened when you put it on? >> the first time was with -- in a costume fitting, and we'd done a lot of the script, and i'm thrilled with how the character worked out, and his place in the universe and the story beats. i put the idea i was playing a

and in the fitting i looked in the mirror, and i started to smile like a giddy child, and the costume designer was like going yep, seen that look before. you're having a superhero moment, aren't you? it's just wonderful. >> jimmy: did alex design other costumes? >> she worked on thor, and i though she's done quite a few of the films. that suited me. it meant literally that she was used to every kind parts of your body to pieces. >> jimmy: because you're flying? >> that clip, that was the first time i'd seen that. that was seen. being kicked and flying backwards, and that was a bit of wire rigging. >> jimmy: it ruins it a bit when you call the bad guy matt. >> his name is mad with an s. >> jimmy: sorry.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: did you ever go anywhere publicly in the costume? >> well, yeah, i did. it was slightly forced by circumstance. i'm not one for halloween -- it's my day job to get dressed up in funny costumes, but i -- we were filming on fifth avenue in new york which was another pinch yourself moment. right in the shadow of the empire state building. some of the great comics originated there, and in this incredible cloak and blue costume, the red and blue being significant. i thought this is another moment, and i thought, wow, there are a lot of crews getting in the way of the shot. and i realized they were paparaz paparazzi. there was a swarm of them. there was nowhere to escape. there's only so much you can do without knowing it's going to be turned into something. so i thought that's going to annoy people. let's get a coffee.

there was a great cafe around the corner. we'll go there. they, great to have you back. she meant she worked there on a computer. i sort of walked in and went, expecting a welcome, and these new yorkers, they did what new yorkers do. the caffeinated jaws went like that for only about five minutes, and then they were back to their conversation. i was news for a millisecond in this cafe, and i had an arnold palmer. >> jimmy: in this neighborhood people would probably give you a dollar for a photograph. there are a lot of superheros here. you could blend. i had -- i don't want to say i had a negative experience with dr. strange -- i did have a negative -- >> wait. you've met dr. strange? >> jimmy: yes, i hired him to help me with something. we have the video. >> i haven't seen this.

>> jimmy: got to be kidding me. where is this guy? >> hi, i'm dr. steven strange, master of the mystic arts. sorry i'm late, but the traffic was unbelievable. >> jimmy: it's 3:30. i'm not paying for the last half hour. >> nice to meet you too. show me the demons. >> jimmy: all right. here they are. >> i don't understand. are they possessed? >> jimmy: basically. they ate, like, 50 cup cakes. >> all right. i'll vanquish them. >> jimmy: no. no vanquishing. just do tricks. pull a rabbit out of somewhere. >> a rabbit? i think there's a misunderstanding. i don't do tricks. >> jimmy: you don't do tricks? >> no.

mightiest magician in the cosmos. >> everyone exaggerates their profile, don't they? look at yours. jimmy kimmel, america's favorite late night host. >> jimmy: that's true, is it not true? >> is it? >> jimmy: that's a cute necklace. is that etsy? >> don't touch the eye of agamoto. >> jimmy: i don't think this is going to work out. i think i'm going to hire a sponge bob >> how much? >> jimmy: $150. >> wait. i have an idea. >> >> you suck. next.

>> marcus? oh, he went home. >> he disappeared him. >> do you want to go home with marcus? >> no. >> be quiet. >> jimmy: benedict cumberbatch! "doctor strange" opens in theaters and imax november 4th. we'll be right back with isla fisher.

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>> jim: guest from "the great gatsby", "wedding crashers" and other films based on great works of literature. her new comedy is called "keeping up with the joneses." please say hello to isla fisher.

>> thank you so much. >> jimmy: last night your co-star was here. it's yshe's wonderman. >> >> gorgeous. she's beautiful. >> jimmy: i think she's taller than i am. >> she's 74 -- 7 foot four. >> jimmy: she could be playing professional basketball. >> she's doing it right now. >> jimmy: she was very, very excited about her makeout scene i mean very excited. >> well, well, well, my husband would like to hear that. yes, it was not the easiest make out session. >> jimmy: it wasn't? she seemed to have no problem with it. >> well, i needed a stepladder. >> jimmy: right. >> and she's a bit like a victoria secret model and i'm like a hob bit. >> jimmy: w >> jimmy: were you really on a ladder?

>> jimmy: your husband is tall. >> so you think i should be used -- >> jimmy: it seems like you should be used to kissing up. 15 years, kissing different places. but no, it was actually really refreshing to kiss her. i also have makeout scenes with zach galifianakis. he's any husband in the movie. he was less enthusiastic. >> jimmy: really? that's interesting. >> i d movies before, and i've never had a problem, but he was reluctant. >> jimmy: maybe zach hasn't really had any love scenes in movies. he probably hasn't really. maybe this was -- i don't know. >> i don't know, but anyway, it was like when you take a kid to get a shot at the doctor and it's like come on. it'll just be a second. it'll be over in a minute. i was like we can do that. one take and we'll knock it out. and i remember right before i had to kiss him, he looks at me

retreated into my lower intestine. i said, zach, you can't say that to an actress before the love scene. even if you're not, there's no woman on the planet that wants to hear someone's penis has retreated into their lower intestine, and then i was like okay, we can do it. just one more take. take your shirt off. take it off and relax. just do it. and he's standing right there. we're about to kiss and he says, so how's your husband? >> i'm like again, trying to make this movie. >> jimmy: how is he? did you ever answer that question? what's he up to? what's going on with him? >> he just had a big birthday. >> jimmy: how old is he? >> 45. >> jimmy: that's a pretty big one. >> and i felt so much pressure to do something amazing because

>> where were you when you were when i was p when i was planning the birthday. for mine, i had a big birthday recently, 25, and so -- i have to set the scene. i'm putting on my mascara for the party and i have these amazing eyelashes. i don't know if you have them, but they make your lashes gorgeous. i'm putting them on and he comes perry. i'm like you know that. i keep putting the lashes on. i don't think about it again. i'm on the dance floor and stuffing case in my mouth and chatting to moms from my school, and i see this diamond microphone. of course, i'm a little drunk. i'm australia yan. okay, i was very drunk. i see this beautiful face of katy perry in front of me and she sings me songs.

me these songs. and i had to return that i didn't know the lyrics because she was staring at me. >> jimmy: your birthday entertainment was katy perry and he arranged it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what did you get him? >> uh-oh. okay. i messed up bad. >> jimmy: it was bad? >> it is. i just got under so much pressure and i was stressed and wanted to repay something amazing that, he can buy him two kittens. >> jimmy: two kittens? >> he's a little bit allergic, but i forgot. >> jimmy: you got him kittens? >> i did. you should have seen his face. i walked into the room. i was so excited. i forgot he was allergic, and i'm holding the box. i'm excited. i remembered the birthday, and i hand it over and he opens the box and he's like oh, babe,

and i felt so dumb. >> jimmy: what happened? do you still have them? >> we got the kittens still. >> jimmy: you do? >> he's sneezing a lot. i feel really -- i couldn't get him katy perry. >> jimmy: well. >> she wouldn't do it twice. >> jimmy: two kittens, huh? not one? >> i should have gotten him my gal in the box. >> jimmy: it's good to sorry about the kittens. put them up for adoption. >> jimmy: isla fisher! "keeping up with the joneses" opens in theaters tomorrow. and we shall return with outdoor music from flatbush zombies. >> dicky: th >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whisky.

z2y6 z2576z zy6z y2576y yy6y >> dicky: th >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whisky. vanilla so good. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next but first,

laced odyssey" here with the song "trade-off" with some help from rhythm roots all-stars flatbush zombies! ? ? ? ? ? it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ? ? i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ? ? plus i just paid my phone and the rent ? ? hey it's lit call my partners up we going up you slowing up

? you indulge in truth i never touched this stuff ? ? one puff of that fluffy stuff it hit me like a sucker punch side effects include ? ? mass paranoia plus the cotton mouth down another bottle with my people ? ? before this was a movie we pictured us living bitter and i forgive 'em - whatever whatever ? ? telling me different nothing is given without sacrificing something as close to people ? ? ya chill with pray for the children the government is spiking penicillin ? ? and lord willin' we all live to be 20 million outcome infinite dawg where is the ceiling? ? ? cause five years ago we came to be without disappearing ? ? it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ? ? i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ? ? plus i just paid my phone and the rent ? ? it's that work hard play hard i just got a load off smoke so much this year ? ? we couldn't even take a day off twenty something years

? never ask for truth it's what expected it's a trade-off ? ? real playa lit getting money bound to flip nonchalant like i am it man i told you how it gets ? ? it's that mixtape rap blunt rap up on the album in a audi ? ? black tote straps looking for yack so i could go top speed with the blinkers on ? ? screaming "what you want" martin king is gone who am i who am i ? ? handsome guy might style on you brothas with a patch on my eye ? ? please turn up the headphones i speak the value ? ? i preach for fr toke toke and choke ? ? we just need your vote float so this the future ain't what ya used to ? ? four years ago i was poorer than you are trapping in the lobby and the back of a u-haul ? ? it's that work hard play hard i just got a load off smoke so much this year ? ? we couldn't even take a day off twenty something years i never had a had a day ? ? job ? ? never ask for truth it's what expected it's a trade-off ? ? it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ? ? i plan to take a trip want the money how it's

? this that work hard play hard rest in peace to trayvon ? ? did so much different drugs this year i'm feeling so amazing ? ? lsd them potent doses smoke an then i take off two freaks one meech that's an even trade-off ? ? rosemary's baby the hand that rocked my cradle to the grave i had six exorcisms this ? ? year alone and i feel the same i'm high and sleep deprived having nightmares ? ? while i'm still awake 40 ounce sipper until my liver give away i think i lost my mind and ? ? i'm willing to trade my soul if you can find it i'm young and deranged ? ? all these drugs in my body ? ? rawer than the kilo under my granddaddy pillow ? ? sweep the block la-la-laugh reload - ha-ha-ha ? ? drop clas ? drop classics we now laugh at you hittas

this is this is "nightline." >> tonight inside the final 30. raising for the republican sprang hold with a little help from her friends. >> we are always stronger together. we're in phoenix. >> they can taste it. >> and just one day after facing off, the two candidates are face to face again. and things get ugly at a new york dinner. >> donald really is as healthy as a horse. you know, the one vladimir putin rides around on. >> here she is tonight