clearly looks like a toy. but, it's -- this is a toy. [ light laughter ] all right, so what do i do? >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, man. >> are you ready? >> jimmy: no. already i'm nervous. do it slow motion first. >> okay. so i'll just -- i'll take you through, step by step. >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay, so first of all, we have to lock eyes. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. [ laughter ] try not laugh. it's my face you're laughing at. >> we got to be serious. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> then i am going to -- so i'm going to take out your blaster. all right, slow motion. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] no, you were like -- your face was mad, and you wanted to hit me. and i go, whoa, whoa, whoa. so you take out my blaster. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the blaster -- blast-o away. >> blaster's gone. >> jimmy: all right, the blaster's gone. >> and i can use it. >> jimmy: that's very expensive. sorry about that. [ light laughter ] star wars is -- [ unintelligible ] >> and then i'm going to take you around the head. >> jimmy: again -- slow-it-down! [ cheers and applause ]

i'm afraid of you. >> she's a bad ass. she's a bad ass. >> jimmy: you're a bad ass. i know. so you're going to take me in the head? and do i get hit in the head? >> so then, yes. and then i take -- so you duck. >> jimmy: i duck? >> duck! >> jimmy: okay. >> and then i'm going to take you by the leg. >> jimmy: take by the leg now? all right. yeah, and how? how? >> and i'm -- i'm going to take you on this leg. >> jimmy: oh, so maybe i'll jump this way. >> yeah, so it's better if you're that way. yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: yeah, then i'll jump here. >> and then i'm going to -- >> jimmy: ha -- slow motion! [ laughter ] >> okay -- and then -- are you ready? >> jimmy: no. stop, stop, stop! i don't -- stop, you're making a face. [ cheers ] when you make -- you made a a face at me. you're going to give it to me. all right, let's see what it's like. >> okay, we gotta do this. >> jimmy: i'm in the movie. i'm in the movie. here we go. i'm a stormtrooper. give me an idea of a character name. what's my name? >> so yeah -- [ cheers and applause ] i'm okay so -- >> jimmy: hadley. >> so you -- you're hadley. >> jimmy: hadley the stormtrooper. [ laughter ] >> okay, you ready? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah, i don't see her. i don't see her. she's nowhere to be found. oh, oh.

hey, can i ask you a question? >> no! [ lightsaber sound ] [ grunting ] [ cheers and applause ] ? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i want to ask you a question. oh, i want to take this away from you. thank you. i want to show everyone a clip. here's felicity jones in "rogue one: a star wars story"! enjoy! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> ah! ? >> this way! ? [ blaster fire ] [ grunting ] ?

>> did you know that wasn't me? >> oh. of course. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: felicity jones, "rogue one: a star wars story", is in theaters, and imax 3d, december 16th. billy crudup joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ?

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[ cheers and applause ] ? a tony award-winning actor, now starring in two upcoming new films, "jackie," which opens in select cities this friday. we had natalie portman on yesterday. she's great. and "20th century women," which opens christmas day in new york and los angeles, then nationwide january 20th. please say hello to billy crudup, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that is -- that is what a movie star looks like. that is a stud! >> aw, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're -- a a good-looking dude. come on. >> you're so kind to say it. it's a lot of -- did you ever wonder if "billy crudup" was a a stage name, by the way? you never asked me that, if that was -- if i had -- >> jimmy: no. was it -- was it? was it ever? was it ever? >> i my -- i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your real name is vicky lawicky. >> my real name is -- no. it's gregory. it's gregory harrison maverick. >> jimmy: oh, is that -- interesting. >> and i thought billy crudup would be -- >> jimmy: much better. >> yeah, sharper. >> jimmy: it just rolls off the tongue, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i had to tell you something though, i -- i have to get to it though, because we got a lot of movies to talk about. i've got a lot of goods to sell here today. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. that's my job. >> this involves -- this involves you, because the first time we met was doing "almost famous," right? and um -- >> jimmy: yeah, sure. hold of applause.

>> jimmy: that was a -- it was a very long time ago. >> it was a very long time ago. >> jimmy: it was -- "almost famous", that was my first big movie camera crew. >> that's right. that was a -- that was a very exciting time. and i've tried to parlay that into, you know, a career. as hard as i could. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: really, i think you're doing okay, man. >> i appreciate that, but every time i seem to try to use my -- my slight bit of celebrity, to meet people who are actually famous, that i admire, like reliably fall short and it's embarrassing. like for instance, i went to a a final four game one time. peyton manning was sitting a a couple rows down and i -- i was doing the mastercard commercials at the time, and so he was on one of the mastercard commercials. so i thought i might go up to him and say hello. and maybe he was a theater fan and he would -- want to talk to me and we'd get chit-chatting and -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: peyton -- peyton manning. >> yeah, sure. he could be -- he could be a a theater fan. >> jimmy: that's true. absolutely.

i'm billy crudup", and my college buddy was back there watching, and i was trying -- you know, trying to be a stud. and he looks back at me, and i said, "i -- do the voice-overs for the mastercard commercials that you are in." and he looks back and says, "yeah, those are funny." [ laughter ] but -- i have a -- triumphant story, that involves you. so i was walking to the airport at l.a.x., and -- as soon as i entered the terminal i see, like, huge man with long, curly hair and it's robert plant. now, i'm a led zeppelin fan, but i became a -- [ cheers ] i became a major led zeppelin fan, when we were doing "almost famous." and -- the line, "i'm a golden god", supposedly, came from a a time that cameron was interviewing robert plant at a a party. >> jimmy: i am a golden god. that's my favorite line that you say in the film. >> that as well, and i hear it

[ cheers ] yeah, but so, i was stunned at the sight of him. and before i could even think what to do, he was gone. and so i spent the next hour waiting for the plane thinking about how, you know, maybe we would have talked, and he too, would have been a theater fan and -- >> jimmy: robert plant from led zeppelin? >> yeah, huge theater fan. [ talking over each other ] i thought about the albums we would have collaborated on, you know. and so then i got on the plane, and there he was, as i was you." [ laughter ] and i said -- i choked. i said, "thank you." and he politely but, you know, reservedly went -- [ laughter ] and um, yeah. and now, this is where it gets interesting. turns out, my slight celebrity was paying off that day because i was in first-class, too, and i was one row behind, and just across the aisle from him. so i spent the next five hours

>> jimmy: staring at him. >> paralyzed, thinking, how am i going to begin this conversation? >> jimmy: really, i feel so bad for you. >> so robert plant can acknowledge that i am alive? and nothing came to me. so finally we landed and we got to the gate, and i reached up to get my carry-on bag, which, you know, to be fair, was not in the best shape, but it wasn't, like, a satchel out of the landfill or something. >> jimmy: yeah, no. just a carry-on bag. >> its' a carry-on bag, and robert plant used that opportunity, i guess, to chastise me and he said, "do you do a robert plant -- you do a robert plant or a british? >> jimmy: sure. >> say your line is -- [ whispering ] [ in a british accent ] i guess that's seen better days. >> jimmy: it's like a high voice. >> to which -- no that was fantastic. to which i replied, my name's billy crudup i was in "almost famous." [ laughter ]

i said my name's billy crudup, i was in "almost famous." i played the lead guitarist, to which he replied -- >> jimmy: "oh -- it is you." [ laughter ] [ applause ] and there's more. there's more, and i said, i said, "i said the line, i am a a golden god", and he said, >> jimmy: "that's my line." [ laughter and applause ] >> to which i replied -- to which i replied, "it now." >> jimmy: hey! not bad! >> boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] oh, fantastic! hey, not bad dude. >> he's amazing. >> jimmy: dude, we got to get talking about these. you have two giant films coming out. >> huge. >> jimmy: we had natalie portman yesterday, and we have annette bening coming on in a few weeks. >> that's right. >> jimmy: so the first film we talk about is "jackie." >> "jackie", which is an

it's an amazing story about -- >> jimmy: she is fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you play the journalist from "life" magazine? >> well, i play a version of it. so, the actual story was that she wanted to have a -- a a friendly journalist from "life" magazine, who -- so she could kind of talk about what his presidency was really like, and he -- pablo, wanted to use that, as the kind of framework for the movie. but i learned about it, after movie, and then he discovered that he wanted this framework. so they called me -- within the time that they called me, and i had shot the movie, it was like a week and a half. >> jimmy: wow. >> so to be in that much of the movie was a great surprise, because the movie is -- phenomenal, and natalie is absolutely extraordinary. >> jimmy: and shows how good you are as an actor, to just come on in there, and hit a a home run. unbelievable. >> that's right, jimmy. that's exactly what it shows. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it does! you were fantastic in it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and also -- >> "20th century", mike mills made this movie, "20th century women", which is a really beautiful film.

>> that's -- correct. in fact on my phone, it's listed as mike mills too, because mike mills is a a musician i've met. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, does he -- >> from r.e.m. >> jimmy: from r.e.m., did he recognize you? when you met mike mills? >> he doesn't know i have his number, technically. [ laughter ] so mike mills is an extraordinary filmmaker, and this is a personal story about his mom. and annette bening is spectacular, and i have a a mustache. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a great mustache. >> in the film "20th century women", i play the man. >> jimmy: you are like -- you are a manly man. >> hey, go on. >> jimmy: you are. >> jimmy -- >> jimmy: and you have a a mustache. >> you've always been a great supporter. i appreciate that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> yeah, and you're doing great. >> jimmy: what's that? >> you're doing great. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: i'm going to show the clip. here's billy crudup and annette bening in "20th century women." take a look at this. >> well, make a little small talk. introduce yourself.

>> okay. hello, i'm william. >> hello. >> hello, i live downstairs. >> oh, really? >> and i'm with the cars. would you like to dance with me? >> yes. sure. put your hand out. right? put the other hand here and you just be there. she just wants a little company. >> oh. okay, ? >> that's nice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is the guy. you know i love you. billy crudup, everybody! go see him in "20th century women", and "jackie." this holiday season, go do a a double feature! we'll be right back with music from car seat headrest. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]

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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest has received mass critical acclaim for their album "teens of denial"

best album of the year. hey, congrats guys! [ cheers and applause ] they are the coolest. performing "drunk drivers/killer whales" give it up for car seat headrest! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? in the backseat of my heart there's someone saying i'm a mess i couldn't get the car ? ? to start my keys are somewhere in the mess i fell asleep outside the door and found a letter ? ? in the morning i couldn't make it out although i recognized my

? we are not a proud race it's not a race at all we're just trying i'm only trying to ? ? get home drunk drivers drunk drivers ? ? ? i hate to say it but baby this could be our fate sitting here in silence while you lie beside me ? ? and wait for the song to end but if we learned how to live like this ? ? maybe we can learn how

i'll make that song sound ? ? right i'll play it again and again and again we are not a proud race it's not a race at all ? ? we're just trying i'm only trying to get home drunk drivers drunk drivers ? ? this is not a good thing i don't mean to rationalize or try and explain it away it's not ok ? ? drunk drivers drunk drivers it doesn't have to be like this ? ? it doesn't have to be like this it doesn't have to be like this ? ? killer whales

it doesn't have to be like this ? ? it doesn't have to be like this it doesn't have to be like this ? ? killer whales killer whales and if you can't find your friends ? ? you can leave without them and if you run out of drugs you can sleep without them ? ? and if you wanna go home

you can sit in the ? ? backseat ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you so much! car seat headrest! [ cheers and applause ] love that, shirt buddy. "teens of denial" out now. we'll be right back, everybody! oh, that was great. feel good? [ cheers and applause ]

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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to felicity jones, billy crudup, car seat headrest, right here! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned to "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you so much! bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] ? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kathy bates. musician and author, laura jane grace. music from against me! featuring the 8g band with atom willard. ? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth mers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. after reports surfaced that donald trump's transition team is in disarray, trump tweeted last night saying that he is the only one who knows the finalists for his cabinet position. but only you can pick the

text your vote in now, and tune at 8:00/7:00 central. who knows? the next secretary of state could be you. [ laughter ] one of donald trump's potential attorney generals is reportedly already working on a plan to make muslims register with the government. does anyone see a problem with that? or do you nazi? [ cheers and applause ] vice president joe biden and vice president-elect mike pence afternoon, and just to piss him off, biden told the waiter it was their anniversary. [ laughter and applause ] according to a new poll, almost 60% of americans believe donald trump should compromise with democrats. like, instead of a wall at the mexican border, maybe a beaded curtain? [ laughter ] [ applause ] a female astronaut is about to

amazing. she is going to do it without a rocket ship. [ light laughter ] just take off with rage. the mayor of london said recently that if people based in the u.s. want to escape donald trump's administration, quote, "london is open." said melania, "taxi!" [ light laughter ] actress carrie fisher revealed in her new memoir that she and harrison ford had an affair while filming the original "star wars." but then he went back to using his hand solo. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] denver has become the first city in the u.s. to permit the use of marijuana in restaurants. so if you thought it was hard to remember the specials now -- [ light laughter ] "i think like a halibut. [ light laughter ]

[ light laughter ] and finally, according to a new study on migrating tree frogs -- wait i'm sorry. i could be wrong here but i think i smell some smoke and that can mean only one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!" [ cheers and applause ] ? >> seth: welcome to the burn zone. we've got a lot of topics to sizzle through but not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's turn on the gas and load her up. [ sizzle ] woo! first up, family touch football. family touch football. you know what's fun? a contact sport featuring people of different ages and skill levels. here's a final score prediction. six torn hamstrings, three broken relationships and one decades-old family secret that wasn't meant to be screamed. "you're out of bounds." "you were adopted." [ gasp ] [ laughter ] also cousin tyler is six and he doesn't have any front teeth. stop making him say "mississippi" so many times. the kid's a [ bleep ] sprinkler.

>> announcer: side burn. >> seth: hey, family touch football. blue 42. ya burnt! [ applause ] caramel apples. the perfect candy if you want to spend 10 minutes eating dessert and the rest of your life picking your teeth. but you know what they say, "a caramel apple a day keeps the dentist's kids in private school." [ light laughter ] and just because you put something on a stick doesn't make it fun. don't believe me? ask joan of arc. >> announcer: she burnt. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: caramel apples, you're sticky, you're icky, aa christmas music. november is only half over. can we slow down? nat king cole you have the voice of an angel but i don't want to hear a peep out of you until december 18th. >> announcer: your chestnuts just got roasted. [ laughter ] >> seth: hey, christmas music, i know you're trying to be joyful, but it comes off a little sarcastic when you hear "it's the most wonderful time of the year" while you drag your screaming toddler through a target. do you know what would be a good christmas song? "i will survive."

pardoning turkeys. good news, we're going to save one of you. bad news, the other 50 million members of your species can go straight to hell, i.e. my belly. what happens to the pardoned turkey the next day? you send him off to a nice farm somewhere, where the survivor's guilt just gobbles away at him? you know who i bet doesn't love the tradition of pardoning turkeys? innocent people on death row. "oh, quiet down, the president is making a pardon. oh, it's just another [ bleep ] turkey." pardoning turkeys, pardon me, but ya burnt. [ applause ] ah, your parents' house. you just finished thanksgiving dinner and now it's dawning on you -- it's not even friday and you're stuck here for three more days. "how will we pass the time? i guess i'll wrap myself in the world's itchiest throw blanket and watch mississippi versus mississippi state." oh, and you can change the channel if you can figure out which of the 8 different remote controls changes your parents' tv. and dad, you turned my bedroom

haven't started a company yet. all i see is a dusty old compaq presario. >> announcer: it has intel inside. >> seth: yeah, you told me. of course, if you really need to get out of the house you can always head to your favorite hometown bar. aka the goatee museum. "hey great baseball caps, fellas. i'm sure none of you are balding." your parents' house, just like that smell coming from the garage, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] thanksgiving table manners. "hey aunt judy, could you close your mouth for me? they're already mashed potatoes. you don't have to chew them another 50 times. also, you just got here and your blouse already has gravy on it. did you stop at popeye's on the way over to thanksgiving dinner?" thanksgiving table manners ya burnt. [ applause ] uninvited plus ones. why are you here? we're gonna argue enough about politics without the jill stein voter cousin amanda met at burning man. at least he's better than her date from last year, the parolee who carved the turkey and said, "this is bringing back

uninvited plus ones, ya burnt. the rolls! oh, no! oh, no, the rolls, oh, no! oh, no, i forgot about the rolls. oh, no! rolls, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] this has been, ya burnt. we'll be right back. oh no, we won't be right back. we've got a great show for you guys tonight. should have explained it to me. we have a fantastic guest, from here tonight. the fantastic kathy bates. [ cheers and applause ] she is the founder of punk band against me!, and her new memoir "tranny," an incredible read. laura jane grace is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and then, i'm very excited about this, laura and against me! are going to perform the track "333" from their latest album "shape shift with me." we'll be right back with kathy bates. [ cheers and applause ]

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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band right over there, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] also, this is very exciting. we have -- our drummer tonight's pulling double duty.

that's here tonight, against me!. atom willard is our guest drummer. give it up for atom. [ cheers and applause ] and you're gonna see atom both behind the 8g drum kit and then later playing with the band. so we're very excited about this. also, for fans of the 8g band, you might have noticed recently that our fantastic guitarist marnie stern has not been around. that is because she has been out doing something even more important, which is having a baby. which she just did yesterday, so give it up, everybody, for marnie -- [ cheers and applause ] and her beautiful baby wyatt stern-johnson. and i'm very -- so happy. i don't know if you can tell, she's representing "late night" with her "late night" t-shirt there. and -- because that is in everyone's contract. [ laughter ] you guys, our first guest tonight is an academy award-winning and emmy-winning actress you know from films such as "misery," "primary colors," and "about schmidt." you can see her in the latest season of the fx series "american horror story," and her new film "bad santa 2" is in theaters november 23rd. let's take a look. >> you see that?

ah, we still got it, kid. >> yeah, i guess so. >> it was always supposed to be this way, william. you, me. or i [ bleep ] it all up. but even when i was in the joint, i thought of it. and i always had a drink on your birthday. january third. seventh. >> august fourth. [ laughter ] >> fourth? >> and august. yeah. >> well,le anyway. >> seth: please welcome to the show, kathy bates, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> seth: welcome!

>> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. >> i watch your show all the time. >> seth: well, thank you very much. i'm a huge fan of yours, and this is very exciting for me because i'm a huge fan of the first "bad santa" film. i'm thinking "how can they outdo themselves the first time," and then they add kathy bates to the cast and that really is the answer right there. >> thank you. >> seth: and you play willie's mother. >> i do, sunny soke. and it's sort of the like the moment when sigourney weaver sees the mother alien. >> seth: uh-huh, yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: not a great mother. >> not a great mother, no, no. she's very -- she's foul mouthed. she's very un-pc, she's an old biker chick. >> seth: yeah, i mean i think we had to bleep you three times in the clip. >> i know. no, i was thinking, i was backstage saying, "oh, gee, can i say that now on tv?" [ laughter ] i was like, "nah, i don't think so." >> seth: but it's kind of nice because we actually sort of see where billy's character became billy's character because you see a mother like this. >> yes. >> seth: and in the scene we saw, that's you guys sort of getting drunk in a van together. that must have been a fun scene to shoot. >> yeah, we loved it. we actually did one take with the pink dildo, which was a lot of fun, and you know.

you know -- it kind of takes poking fun to the nth degree, you know. >> seth: yeah. >> but we bonded, kind of, as a mother and a son, which we hadn't up to earlier in the movie. >> seth: and now i think the nice thing, too, is now whenever i see a pink dildo, i'll think of christmas. [ laughter ] >> honey, if you're lucky, you might get one in your stocking. >> seth: thank you. [ applause ] moving? [ laughter ] >> do you know that happened to me once? >> seth: what happened? >> oh, you want -- this is not the list of what we were supposed to talk about. >> seth: oh well -- please let's get off the list. this seems like a better list. >> so this was many years ago when i was dating kind of a rough guy. and so we were on our way to chicago and there's one of those stores where you can get the -- you know, the stuff. >> seth: yeah. >> and so we went to the hotel and i had it in my pocketbook and it went off. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> we were in the elevator. [ laughter ]

[ laughter ] and it was new, so i didn't know how to turn it off. >> seth: right, yeah. >> yeah, that was something. [ laughter ] didn't think you were going to hear that today, did you? >> seth: no i -- this is so much better. i'm wondering, like, if that happened, if i'm in the elevator, is my first thought, "oh, no, there's technical difficulties on the elevator." >> no, it was a dildo gone awry. it really was. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: no, nobody panic. >> no, no. >> seth: nobody panic, it was just a dildo. >> it was one of them rabbits, >> seth: i love that i'm like, "absolutely, yeah, yep, i know exactly what you're talking about." [ laughter ] i got a punch card, if i buy one more, the next one's free. [ laughter ] >> yeah, you do. >> seth: that's great. so -- >> now you can't remember what you were going to ask me. >> seth: well i was going to ask, did you -- were you a fan of the first "bad santa"? >> oh absolutely, i loved it. you know, it's one of those movies where, you know, you come in in the middle and you think, "i got in. let's watch until bernie mac throws that kid out of the --" you know.

you know, i just loved it so much that when they asked me to do it, i said, "where do i sign up?" >> seth: and it's really -- you know, billy bob was here last night and it's become like an actual holiday classic that people, i feel like, you know, watch with children that probably shouldn't be watching it. >> oh i hope not. >> seth: oh, no, i think a lot of kids accidentally see that movie way too young. >> oh, you do? >> seth: i do, but i think that's okay because we live in a world now where the faster you learn [ bleep ], the better. [ laughter ] no need to -- no need to be loose with it. also, congratulations. this is -- is this your fourth seasn >> yeah. >> seth: this must be such a great -- [ cheers and applause ] >> it's been great. >> seth: and again -- it seems like when you work with great actors or a great show creator like that has, it must always be exciting, but for you guys, the fact that you change every year. as an actor it must be great to just have a completely different role. >> it's great, it's great. i remember when we were doing "hotel" and stefani -- i call her stefani, lady gaga -- i turned around to do a scene with

and i thought, "who is that?" then i went, "oh, that's finn. that's finn wittrock." because you don't see people getting ready for the show so -- >> seth: that must be really cool. >> it's a blast, you know. and each season is so different. >> seth: and here is your look this year, which is just fantastic. >> yeah! [ audience oohs ] >> seth: that's full -- full -- really creepy. >> yeah, "the butcher." >> seth: "the butcher." and you have like a -- when you create an accent like you have this year, because it's a very memorable accent, is that something you have to work a long time on or do you just kind of sle >> no, no, no, i worked with liz himselstein, who is a brilliant dialect coach. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah, we studied the guy on "the witch," the movie "the witch." we loved the guy that was the father so there's a yorkshire dialect so we worked really hard on that. >> seth: that's great. that's nice. [ in yorkshire accent ] >> seth meyers, you must come and smell the blood. >> seth: yeah. >> and consecrate the land. >> seth: yeah, no, that's very unsettling. [ laughter ] now tell me in that voice that you got me a pink dildo for christmas. [ laughter ]

if you're a really good boy i'll give you a pink dildo for christmas. [ laughter and applause ] crazy, crazy, crazy. >> seth: now, i feel a lot of us were first introduced to you in the film "misery," which was again, a fantastic film. [ cheers and applause ] you were terrifying in that role. >> thank you, thank you. >> seth: and i have heard tell that men will still, because of what you did to james caan's ankles -- when sometimes guys will grab their ankles when they >> seth: and you have something to say to them, yeah? >> yeah, it's really boring. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm over it. >> seth: you're over it. >> i'm glad you're sitting back behind that desk though, aren't you? >> seth: yeah, i am. [ laughter ] i do feel a little tingle -- >> oh, you do? >> seth: and so that -- but that's the movie -- like after that movie, that was when people knew who kathy bates was. >> they did. they did. that was very lucky. >> seth: and when -- did you know right away? because you -- so you have an oscar -- >> yeah, it was like overnight. it was unbelievable. okay, i have to tell you this

call, i was supposed to do a little part in a film in chicago and at first i was like, "ah!" then i see my oscar and i think, "eh, did i really want to go do that little part in chicago?" >> seth: right. >> and i kind of thought, "okay, come on you have to." they call me and they say, "well, instead of a town car we're going to send you a limo." >> seth: oh, wow. >> "and we're going to give you an extra room at the hotel." and my husband said, "what do you need an extra room at the hotel for?" i said, "well, it's for my assistant." he said, "well you don't have an assistant." i said, "shut up, it's just a really nice thing." [ laughter ] so, i go to chicago. it's a night alec baldwin, right? and six to six in the morning. we're walking to the set, everybody is screaming for his autograph. >> seth: sure. >> they're screaming for mine. >> seth: oh, it was the first time? >> like that. >> seth: first time they've screamed for you. >> oh, my god. everybody. and i ran across. we all did autographs and stuff so i was like, kind of -- you know. and then i go back to my trailer. i had my little dog with me. it was about 2:00, and i had to take him out to do his business, and so i opened the door and i said, "i have to take my dog out" and they said, "mrs. bates you can't go alone, you have to

>> seth: wow. >> and i was like, "shut the front door." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> okay? only three more and i'll be like madonna. so i went with my little dog, and i had forgot to take something to clean up after him. and my mind was racing and i thought, "this bodyguard is going to call the tabloids and make a lot of money and tell them i'm a slut and i'm filthy and all of this stuff." [ laughter ] so i was desperate and i saw a piece of paper on the ground, and i picked it up, and it had my autograph on it. [ laughter ] >> seth: what a -- >> it did. it did. it did. it was like, you know -- it was like, god saying, "settle down." >> seth: right. >> "just settle down." and i used it. >> seth: really? you used it to pick up -- that's a good -- >> yeah, like autograph down. >> seth: yeah, that's great. >> i did, i did. >> seth: and now your dog won't go to the bathroom unless you sign a piece of paper. [ laughter ] unless you give him an autograph first. >> damn, you're good! >> seth: well, let me tell you something -- >> what? >> seth: because i want to ask about this, have you noticed -- because obviously, so you're

noticed now no one wants an autograph anymore? all anybody wants is a photo of you, right? >> a selfie. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: and i must be -- i even think now if somebody was like, "look i got an autograph," no one would care. >> they wouldn't care, no. >> seth: they just want a picture. >> they want a picture of them with you so they know you're captured forever in that moment in time. >> seth: the bummer, and i don't know if you feel this way -- because i feel like when you sign an autograph, you can actually talk to people and ask them a question or whatnot and you can't do that when a picture is going down. like there's just too much business with a picture. >> oh, i talk to people. what, you don't talk to people when they're taking a selfie? >> seth:no why -- >> you don't hear them? >> no, i don't want a picture where i'm answering a question. it's like -- [ laughter ] >> oh, no. >> seth: i have to be very still. >> i just talk to them afterwards. i talk to them afterwards. >> seth: but what if there's someone else who wants to -- i feel like, i don't know. >> what? >> seth: if you take one picture then somebody else wants one. i -- i do it, kathy! don't look at me like that. [ laughter ] >> well, you're a lot more famous than i am. you're a lot -- and they're waiting for you outside, you know that after the show they're going to be there. >> seth: look, let me tell you this, take your dog out around 30 rock and you'll find hundreds of my autographs to pick up.

you got a hollywood -- a star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> i did, yeah. >> seth: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: but you -- you have actually been -- you've been outside mann's chinese theater as a kid. >> yeah. >> seth: very close to where the star ended up. is this true? >> yes, that's true. i was with my beloved aunt lee. i'd go to visit her in l.a. and it's -- i have a photo from 1956 when i was eight years old, right in front of grauman's. >> seth: that's fantastic. [ audience aws ] >> i know. >> seth: so where were you -- >> my star is like 20 yards that way. >> seth: that's great. >> right in front of the souvenir store. >> seth: really? >> yeah, next to patti mcdaniel. isn't that cool? >> seth: that's a good one to be next to. here you are the day it happened and there --billy bob is there with you. >> yeah, billy bob and my friend shirley. >> seth: that's great. >> isn't that nice? it was a great day. >> seth: did you have other people come? >> yeah, i ahd all my friends from college, you know, from back in 1965. >> seth: wow.

>> seth: where were they -- where was that? >> well, we went to spago's, we went to the beverly hills hotel. >> seth: so you did it up? you did a full hollywood -- >> yeah, but mainly we sat, you know, on the terrace at my house and just got drunk. >> seth: oh, that's good. [ laughter ] >> yeah. and we reminisced about all the times we got drunk back then. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's funny how drinking makes you want to talk about the times you were drinking. >> i know. >> seth: wait, what time in the day did you do it? is it like early -- >> drinking or -- [ laughter ] >> seth: no, well, yeah -- what time is okay? i'm having an argument with my wife about this. when is it cool? >> well okay, what we say at my house is the sun is alwaysow world. >> seth: oh, well that's good. i will use that and my wife will immediately say, "where did you get that from? that does not sound like you." >> okay. when did what? >> seth: so what time of the day did they actually do the ceremony where they put down the star? >> oh, it was in the afternoon, yeah. >> seth: okay, good. >> it was around 12 or something. >> seth: that's really great, and you look fantastic. >> oh, well thanks. thanks. >> seth: that's a great photo, well done. >> thanks. >> seth: yeah, congratulations. >> i appreciate it. [ applause ] >> seth: this is very exciting, as well, that you are doing a comedy coming up. >> oh god, i got to tell you, so chuck lorre and

>> seth: who's -- both fantastic. >> they're creating -- it's this sitcom called "disjointed." >> seth: that's great. >> and it's about a woman who's been a cannabis lawyer and a cannabis activist ever since she was 16 and she's got one of those pharmacies, those, you know, things, dispensaries in a strip mall. and i have these amazing kids in their 20s that you have never heard of, that you are never going to forget after you see this show. they're amazing. we had our first night. jimmy burrows directed the pilot. >> seth: oh, that's great. a legend. >> yeah, we had our -- oh my god. we hur it's been so long since i've been in front of a live audience. >> seth: when was the last time you did stand up? >> oh god, i can't even remember, it was probably before you were born. >> seth: okay, gotcha, great. [ laughter ] >> and it was just great. it was so great. i just felt like i'd come home. you know? i feel so lucky! >> seth: that's fantastic. and when will we be seeing it? >> it's on netflix in july. >> seth: oh, that's great. i can't wait. and it's such an honor to have you here. >> aw, thank you. >> seth: i've been a fan for a really long time and i really -- >> thank you. >> seth: -- appreciate you taking the time to do this. [ cheers and applause ] kathy bates, everybody. "bad santa 2" is in theaters november 23rd. we'll be right back with more

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? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we have more guests to get to. but first i actually have to do a very quick live ad for one of our sponsors. so give me a second here. all right. we good? okay great. oh no, it to get auto insurance on my 1995 chevy lumina. i don't know what to do. >> yeehaw! >> seth: that can only be one person. it's the sheriff. the spokesperson for sheriff auto insurance. >> howdy, partner. what's all this hullabaloo about, seth? >> seth: oh, sheriff, i need car insurance, and fast. >> well, if you need car insurance then why don't you go to the sheriff auto insurance.com and get a free quote today. >> seth: but sheriff, i have a

my driving record's bad. >> oh, seth. your driving record is no problem. the sheriff will hook you up with sr-22 vehicle liability auto insurance. which is perfect for a butterfinger like you behind the wheel. >> seth: oh, sheriff you're always giving me a hard time. [ light laughter ] but wait. what if i don't have a lot of cheddar in my piggy bank? >> no problem, hombre. our rates and payments are low and we offer special discounts to save you money. >> seth: well that sounds great, sheriff. >> for an awesome low rate you sheriff and save some time. >> seth: all right, give it up for the sheriff, everybody, from sheriff auto insurance. [ cheers and applause ] so moving on, i'm not sure, but have you guys seen -- >> hey, seth. >> seth: uh, yeah, sheriff? did i forget something? >> no, no, no, no, i just wanted to ask you something. >> seth: sure. >> i was wondering, how much skirt do you get with this job? >> seth: sorry? >> don't be bashful, playboy,