tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 8, 2016 11:00pm-12:02am CDT
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- david spade -- zy and jack osbourne -- "the baby bachelorette," the boys tell all -- and music from the strokes, with cleto anthe cletones. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.
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glad you're here.. we have a lot to get to. have wsung the national anthem yet? has that happened? [ laughter ] we have so much to get to. starting with day two of the democratic natnal convention in hill-adelphia. hillary clinton came the first woto be minated by a major party in theted states, which even if doesn't win that's going to look great her resume. the theme of the conventio tonight was a lifetime of fighting for children and tt tn a lifetime of itely fighting childreand families which mak you realize the word difference.e a very big billlintonke tonight. washeheaj ofeng. ourse ongly supported his wife to be our next president. a surise mosk mania trump to be s first dy. laughter ]
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terestinto see b bilecause clinton would be our nation's fi t firsn. h is ierting we've had a fiman onhe mt. everest, a first man to run four-minute mile. nobody ever thought to be just the first man. i guess adam maybe was the first fiman. mocratha had se imve ss . nichelle obam devered r seco convention speech of the week. [ laughter ] first dy, she madey er poweul poi. e notethat she and her husband wake up every day in house buby slas. to whichonald trump plied, really, i get the name o your contor? beuse much of the focus yestday was on bernie sanders ort to the clinton cp.w his sanders said the demts wil wo to brk up the biggest nks. he said from it the wells fargo center, be wait until xt week.
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mever itppears he cd his ir. very neat. even today some sanders supporters were still hopeful he uld somehow me outn top of the nt.dega which erho how passionate they are or how bad theyt ma a a or maybe both of those things. but when bernie did voice his support for mrs. clintthis is how hisupports reacted. >> any objective observer ll conclude that based on her ideas and her leadership, hillary clinton must be the next president of the united states. >> jimmy: what a fac like the end of the movie "the notebook." beie looked out, what happened, am i dead? there are a number of cuent and former comedians speaking at the convention, including tor alranken who was a
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and maybe best of all, pennsylvania senator bob casey. >> donald trump hasn't made anytng in his life, except a buck on the backs of working people. if he is the champion of working people, i'm the starting center for the 76ers. >> jimmy: good one, dad. [ laughter ] that's the mighty cay strikes out again. roanoke, virginia. he's on a roll. a new cnn poll has him leading hillary by 3 point even though he doesn't drink here's what it would look like if he did to celebrate tonight's itioof "drunk donald trump." [ slow tape playing ] >> she'll go on, she'll take a nap for four or five hours, then she'll come back. no naps for trump.
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we don't have time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is flying high right now because the democrats are behind in the polls. actually, if you watch the convention today, you literally saw how far behind the polls they are. >> my name is nicholas mateola, speaker of the house of the great democratic state of rhode island. >> we proudly cast 21 votes for senator bernie sanders. >> our state cast our votes -- >> delaware is home to our >> madam secretary -- >> madam secretary -- >> i'm donnie deans -- >> new hampshire, where we bring democrats together! >> i'm proud to announce that oklahoma, where our state motto is -- >> the great state of kansas. >> the father of the new political revolution, 74 votes
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>> really. c-span needs to get some human camera people. how the hell does that happen? tonight on abc we had a very special episode of "the bachelorette, the men tell all." or maybe it's pronounced the ntal a, i'm not sure. but thespolitil conventions e making you lose faith in america, "thbachelorette" men ll allpecial will do nothing to change that. not even a bit. much f the intereas directed at bad chad who is one of the most contestants ever on the show. the other guys did not like chad. he threatened them, he got ysical with them, he was always working out. tonight one of the fellows, nick, decided he'd had enough. >> chris, hold on, wait, wait. >> oh! >> it's the same egotistical [ bleep ] we hado listen to all season. >> you going to pop a squat? >> no, listen to me. >> we ha to rert to violence?
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threats, all right? >> wait, are you trying to get air time rightow? >> chad, you're coward that sits behind empty threats, dude, you got nothing. >> you want to fight me? >> any te, any place, whatever. >> hold on, guys. >> you're a coward, dude. >> don't wor, we got a security guard. >> jimmy: well, we kind of have a -- someone wake the security guard! was that a security guard or did kubio get a haircut? chad made no friends during his if he had to do it all over again uld he do it the same way? chris harrison asked and chad gave a surprisingly poetic response. >> is there anything that you regret? >> you know, honestly, i mean -- i don't regret 99% of the things that happened. i think anybody's going to be mad when they're getting [ bleep ] 24/7, night and day in front of 10 million people watching >> so did you like -- trng to think off the top of my head -- the jordan comment. >> right te,on thought that would make them be quiet, didn't work.
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which you should have chose pickles, know what i mean? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind o i guess. like when you're -- when you have to decide whether you should have the apple pie with ice cream or the pickle pie? don't know. it's like apples and pickles, you know? you can't compare them. ladies and gentlemen, that is story that caught my eye. according to a new study, the united states is falling short when it comes to height. american men and women used to t world. now we rank 37th and 42nd. the tallest men and the women now are from the netherlands and latvia. which it's like my mother always said, if you need to get something down from a high shelf, caltvial la this is disturbing. bring me my podium if you don't mind. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] my fellow americans.
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america was founded by tall people. abraham lincoln. you can't tell by the dollar bill, orge washington was more than 8 feet tall. are we going to let the netherlands tower overs? i don'know about ybut i'm not. are you, guillermo? >> guillermo: no way. >> jimmy: you actually are going to let the netherlands tower over you. but t believe the dutch are the tallest people. i think they're adding two or inchthree with those wooden shoes. and latvia? is latvia even aeal country? that's not a rcal hetori question, i actually don't know. when i am vice president, i ll solve this in my first 100 days. and this is w wi do it if you are over 5'10", you can stay. you can remain here and make babies, long babies, with other tall people. if you're orter than that, you may be relocated to mexico and canada. and i will bui a wall to keep all the short people from
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and it w't be as expensive as donald trump's wall because it won't need to be that high, really. in my america, you must be this tall to ride. so join me, full-sized people. let's make america tall n! [ cheers and applause ] and most importantlet's nd together to teach these latvians a lesson they'll never forget! we have to take a break. when we come back, the boys tell the baby bacrett so stick arod, wll be right back. [ school bell ringing] we were learning about how talented the ancient ks were, anenlydd traveled back in time! i though ?i could have been a writer.? or an athlete!
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osbourne, and muc from the strokes all coming. first, as you know, earlier tonight in primetime we had "the bachelorette men tell all" special bue tellg september over. i happen to produce my own critically acclaimed bachelorette spinoff show starring childreinsteaof adults. grab a juice box, sit back in a little chair and relax as the boys tell all in the most revealing episode of "e baby bachelorette" yet. >> this season on "the baby bachelorette." bianca's quest for true love introduced us to an amazcast some were fan favorites. >> i'm captain america! >> somwere more controversial. >> it's my ex. he came back into my life. >> i'm so humiliated. >> others were just too short. >> it's hard being ltle. >> tonight we hear from the boys.
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ever. tensions rise and tales are tattled as our most controversial contestants in "baby bachelorette" history come together for the first time since bianca sent them home. while bianca continues her journey toward true love. we'll hear fm the men she left behind. about mistakes, regrets, and heartbreak. fellas? thanks for being brave enough to be here tonight. i'm glad you are relaxed. dylan, let's sta w you made the boldest first impression. i have to ask you, wtainhy cap america? >> um, because i was him yesterday. >> jimmy: you were captain america yesterday? >> yes, so it was my turn to be spider-man! >> jimmy: today you're spider-man? oh my goodness. wow. he really is spider-man. well. what prompted this change? wh made you make this
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have -- i am spider-man! >> jimmy: because you are spider-man. how you doing? ooth than ethan likes that. i want to move on to the most controversial departure of the season, eisley. some viers said it was unfair of you to lead bianca on. i'll ask you point-blank. why did you come on the show if you already had a girlfriend? >> my girl and i wen't exclusive. i needed to play the field. >> jimmy: well, that's nott this show is about. and i have to say i feel like you were here for the wrong reasons, right? yeah? dean, where is dean? dean, hi. you mind if i -- i wto just -- yeah, put you over here. there you go. dean, spider-man. spider-man, dean. dean, what's going on with you since you left the show? has this bn hard for you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did bianca break your heart? >> yeah. >> jimmy: in how many pies?
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>> jimmy: five pieces? that is a lot of pieces. do you think you'll ever love again? >> it would be hard to trust another woman. >> jimmy: you know, an, th say time heals all boooos an i think you're going to be just fine. >> i'll probably be single forever. >> i'm spider-man! >> you're not spider-man. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: well, we have a surprise reunion tonight. someone america fell in love please welcome the baby bachelor himself, wesley. and the winner of wesl's season, jesse. guys, come on out. how are you doing, wesley? have a seat on the couch. where's jesse? >> oh, she's not here today. >> jimmy: why isn't she here? >> because we grew apart. >> jimmy: was there an argument? >> yep.
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>> well -- jesse wanted to do one thing and i wanted to do a other thing. >> jimmy: you couldn't agree, come to a compromise? >> yeah, uh-huh. >> may i ask, what was the one thing that you wanted to do that jesse didn't want to do? >> go to the park. >> jimmy: she did not want to go to the park? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where did she want to go >> she wanted to go to the movies. >> jimmy: wow r. i'm so sorry that happened. so are you sti married? >> no. we just grew apart. and i respect jesse and i wish >> jimmy: that's very big of you. do you have any regrets about the choice you made? i mean, you d choose jesse over gabby. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you do? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: wesley, i have a surprise visitor forou tonight. please welcome gabby. gabby? gabby, how are you?
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couch ne to wesley. wesley, say hello to gabby. >> hi, gabby. >> jimmy: how long has it been since you've seen each other? >> a long, long time. three years. >> jimmy: three years. well, wesley told us just a moment ago the still thinks about you and he still has feelings for you. wesley, is there anything you wolike to say to gabby? >> i think about you and what we had was special. and you have pretty hair. >> jmy >> a lot of things have changed over three years. >> jimmy: what kind of things have happened? >> i've lost my teeth. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> i broke my arm. >> jimmy: oh! >> i taught my sister a lot of curse words. >> jimmy: gabby, what do you think of that? do you ever use curse words? >> no. >> jimmy: no. well, that's very sweet. wesley, anything you'd like to ask gabby or say to her right now? >> gabby? will you marry me?
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[ applaus] >> jimmy: wesley? did you bring a ring >> uh -- no. >> jimmy: you didn't bring a ring. where the hell is neil lang? isn't he supposed to bring rings out? oh, well. we'll get you a ring. and i am so happy for the both of you. wow. what a wild ride this has been. tune in next week as bianca makes her final decision. will it be alex or manny who wins her heart? next week we'll find out on the emotional season finale of "the baby bachelorette." congrats, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bianca's amazing journey comes to an end next monday night. tonight music from the strokes, ozzy and jack osbourne are here, and be right back with david spade! [ cheers and applause ] ? americans, i don't understand you.
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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight, from the new father-son travel show, "ozzy and jack's world detour," which can be seen on history. ozzy and jack osbourne are here. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is their album. it's called "future prent past." the strokes from the samsung stage. [ cheers and alause tomorrow night, andy garcia will h us, and we'll have music from the go-go's. and thursday, greg kinnear, dino archie, and dane fra whit the ufc. join us then. our first guest is an emmy-nominated actor and hollywood sex maggot who -- i mean magnet -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] anyway, he's got a show, it's called "fameless." it preeresonday night at
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please say hello to david spade. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry about that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that was not a freudian slip at all. >> you got all the other ones right. hey, i was going to tell you that this little walk, i had dinner last night. five-star restaurant. >> jimmy: oh, congra i like to throw that in. when the hostess walks you in, you might have this happen. first of all, all my friends thinthe hostesses are cute. we invented an app that tells you where the three hostesses are in the restaurant. where's the one with the brown hair? table 26. didn't s >>immy: at's good. that is really stalking. >> wwent to apple on af them. jimmy: didn't like it, huh?
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this is funny, you'll hate it. i come in, i go to this place. she has to walk me but she wants to have a little chitter chat. mr. spade, thank you for coming. and how was your day? i go, i had a little bit of a health scare. she goes, here we are. that's it? no follow-up? just dead stop when she got to the table. pivoted. but sometimes, like last night was really scary. >> jimmy: why? >> i w running out of batteries on my phone. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, my god. >> have you ever had this happen? and everyone's looking at me, what's wrong? i go, it's almost 9. they go, 9:00? no, 9% battery, i've got to get home and plug it in. they go -- the hostess goes, i'll plug it in. i'm like, uh -- you know the panic? i go like this. well -- well -- are you going to go way over -- she takes it. i'm like, aahhh! >> jimmy: what? why? >> because i'm terrified. >> jimmy: of what?
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because she might find the 300 [ bleep ] cs. >> jimmy: oh, oh. >> that didn't make the cut. >> jimmy: that's a lot of them. >> yeah. those are the ones i didn't send because i couldn't get it ght. by the way, i'm finding my wiener is not photogenic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. i think it's a new thing with younger people. but mine, whoof. put my foot on a stool, get an aerial shot, i don't know how to it. but what happened is i saw -- this girl goes, i get them all the time. it's like hello for guy news. they're like, hey. they lead with it. used to come toward the end. now it's straight up. >> jimmywell. >> it's this guy from his feet up, sort of like this. i'm like, this i never would have thought of. plus who's taking it? you know? you've got to get your buddy and then that's worse than helping you move. you know? he's like, i'm going to grab it
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i didn't think of that and i can't --h, i have a question, will you help me do something later? on the commercial? >> jimmy: i hope it's move. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i need to ask you about this. i've been wondering about it. >> this is so dumb, yeah. >> jimmy: y've bn posting photographs of a parking -- ts is a parking ticket that you got? >> yeah, i got a ticket. and then i didn't think i deserved it. so i left it on my wind shield and said, i'll show them. an [ laughter ] it's not -- the ticket's not going away and the cops don't seem to mind. now i just keep it on there in protest. >> jimmy: you've got to -- you're going into a hotel. isn't that the hotel people are not supposed to go in? >> the beverly hills hotel? no, no, no. >> jimmy: it's not? okay.
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>> the ticket was doing nothing on my windshield so i showed it around town. >> jimmy: uh-huh. here's the ticket. >> looking at my backyard. >> jimmy: relaxing by the pool. is that your backyard? >> yeah, look at that cool star trek floaty. >> jimmy: that is pretty great. >> it's a captain's chair. >> jimmy: these are all your friends? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> i had a clear frame for the big photo shoot. >> jimmy: should i show this? why did you get the ticket? >> here's the ticket. no, because the meter was still blng so i thought it was still good. then they gave me a ticket. so i said, i'll show them. anyway. i don't know what to do now. i painted myself in a corner. >> jimmy: just pay the ticket is a good thing, maybe. >> that's one idea. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. >> it bit me in the ass because i got a ticket jet skiing in arizona. i didn't know how that could even happen. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had a cop and he was on a boat. i thought he wanted an autograph. he goes, come over here. i go, hey, who do i make it out to?
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with it. i go, what the [ bleep ] else do you do with a jet ski? that's all a jet ski does. and he goes, no, you have to be 100 yards away from each other. i go, who wants to jet ski, then? so he goes, it'so dangerous. so i get the ticket. i put it in the nose of the jet ski. and then later, naturally, i'm going too close and i hit my brother. exactly predicted in what they said, it's dangerous. almost took his leg out. and his sank. then mine, my ticket got wet, so i just go -- ah. and then there's a warrant out for my arrest. >> jimmy: no. >> it was on tv in arizona. >> jimmy: really? >> my mom davegoes, turn yourself in! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i gat's happening? >> jimmy: did you turn yourself in? >> stay in my backyard! i go, can i stay in your house? she said, they'll check the house. i went to some court in like a
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honestly, it was next to like jimmy john'snd stu. and then it was no one there in the middle of nowhere except me and a tmz guy. >> jimmy: oh, great, yeah. >> david at jimmy john's! i went in and paid it. >> what did you eat at jimmy john's? >> that's the better story no, i paid it and the judge was like, we should all go jet skiing. he didn't care. >> jmy: rely, wow. how about that. you had a nice judge. the jet ski band is here, david spade. be back with david. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? starbucks? cold brew coffee. avaible in original blac and now with house-made vanilla sweet cream.
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you're going to sprint out this door, man >> i'm in an orange jump suit. >> we'll jump in a dumpster. >> i'm not a criminal! >> you're with u that's how it is you've got to run, run, run. ready? go, go, go, go! come on go, go! >> whoa, hands up, hands up, s up! hey, hey, hey! hands up, hands up, hands up! get down, get down, get down! matthew, what'going on? >> i'm on a television show! >> what do you mean? >> this is all fake! i don't know what's going on! >> sure, yeah. everyone says that, man. >> everye yshat they're on
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show, "fameless." starts monday on trutv. this is a prank show. >> it's a prank show. >> jimmy: tell about the actual people you play the pranks on. >> the people that play the pranks have been prepped to be in a reality show. >> jimmy: they're people tha want to be on -- >> they really want -- they have to go through a psych evaluation and everything. i don't know if you know this. you see "the bachelor," some o them obviously didn't pass. >> jimmy: right. >> but they're all ready to go through testing, i want to be famous, i want to be on any show. so we make up a fake -- because there's a line of people who can't get any. we make one up, like "blind blind date." sounds le a real show. "what's in your mouth," a food show. we make up stuff. so that one's like a prison -- it's a reality show about jail. this guy gets -- there's a breakout, he gets grabbed by the criminal. so then you ll him. then everyone -- it's so funny because i get ingy when i do them. >> jimmy: you do? >> b ause i do them sometimes.
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it. they don't want me to do them anymore. because i get scared. we did one where this guy's -- i'm judging the music, like "x factor." they're telling me in the earpiece he's bad. i tell him he's bad and 's so ce, then he goes, what dyou know i go, huh? he's like, ya cooue dy guy you don't know music. i'm like, no, i know talent. then he goesyou ruined "saturday night live"! what? then he left. no, get him back here. tell him it's a joke! and he wouldn't come back. so horrible. >> jimmy: who's the prank on then, i guess, huh? >> me, i guess. >> jimmy: you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you have been named roast master of the comedy central roast of rob lowe. >> rob lowe coming up, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you done roasts before? >> i have not and i'm scared of them. i see them and i sort of -- maybe an o.g. roaster from the
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>> jimmy: oh, yeah. true, yeah. >> but it's hard to think of the -- rob's a super-cool guy, he's a friend. obviously good-looking. he's like 7. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it will be fun. he's got a lot of sordid things in his past. we'll find something. >> jimmy: you've g to sh that video. for one thing. that would be a great way to start. >> go right at it. re-enact the video. that's a tough one to get by these days. >> jimmy: it's a different world now. >> true. >> jimmy: you and i will ben montreal this weekend, canada. >> oh, yeah, we're going there. >> jimmy: judges on jeff ross roast battle show. that will be good prep. >> yeah, get to watch it, i'm not part of it. >> jimmy: you're not? >> i'm judging. we're not going to get the shrapnel, i don't think. i hope. >> jimmy: well. you've got shrapnel from your own reality show. >> i sort of catch it. that will be super fun. i got that, i got twitter. things are clicking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: david spade, everybody. the season premiere of "fameless" airs next monday on trutv.
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[ cheers and applause ] ? theibums. what? (laughs) (laughs) what does cleanripple texture do? catches all the stuff that you want to get out. this is really nice. this one is, like, it goes the extra step. it gets it all clean. how does being clean feel? kind of sassy. uh, breezy. hands up. weeeeeee. bum is saying, "thank you very much." cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. and here we have 1893, from the makers of pepsi cola. i'm gonna smell it. i'm just gonna take one small sip... kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. bloldly blended colas. the roses are blooming in herbal essences hair is delightfully fragranced with notes of moroccan rose and the freshness of springtime
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>> jimmy: hi, there. still to come, music from the rokes. our next guests arone half of the whofamilyore or less invented reality tv. th have a new travel show called "ozzy and jack's world detour." watch it sunday nights on history. please welcome ozzand jack osbourne. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jim: i forget. nobody smells better than ozzy osbourne. you always smell great when you come out here. >> it's my perspiration. >> jim: remarkable for a rock star. >> good smell. >> jimmy: ozzy, i know you love history. who decided to do this travel show? jack, you decided? >> it was a conversation i had with a fellow producer. and y time anyone asks me, oh,
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want to do tv, those days are over. and i forgot about it. six weeks later i'm in the car with my dad. hey, do you want to do a history show? he w like, yeah, i'll do that. was like, oh! i guess i have to go back, call them bac >> jimmy: you love history. >> well, 20th century. in england when i wayounger, when i was a boy in 1948, we were still in the war. >> jimmy: right. >> it was inbred into where we lived, you know. i was always interested in the war with germany and the war with japan. >> jimmy: i remember speaking to you about that, about you just sit there and watched what was on the history channel, you'd watch these old newsreels. i love it. something that was big in those days as well. you'll win! >> jimmy: you guys now go to sites where historical events occurred -- >> it was like jack's bucket
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>> jimmy: what are some of the places on your mutual bucket lists? >> we went to rushmore. we went -- brought him back to the amo. >> jimmy: for those who are familiar with ozzy lore -- >> i didn't pee on it after all. >> jimmy: you found out you didn't pee on it? >> i was wearing a dress. >> jimmy: what happened there, wh the story? >> without giving too much awa urination was involved. public intoxication was involved. and the donninomeng w ts were involved. >> jimmywere: u zzy banned from the alamo? >> for about 20 years. >> jimmy: for about 20 years. >> yeah. i remember se mexin guy saying to , i don't know what the problem is, we pee on that wall every night. >> jimmy: and so did they welcome you with open arms? >> no. let me tell you the story. jagoincks to be a lunatic asylum. the guys from the show, they've
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we'll go, wait and see. no, no, you're overreacting. we get there. sure enough. >> there must have been 1,000 people there. >> jimmy: oh, no. angry? >> it was all very positive. >> jimmy: i see. >> positive for you. a guy with a noose, a rope. welcome back, ozzy! we'll finish you off now! >> jimmy: jack, you do all the driving. >> jimmy: i was thinking about it. i've driven with my fa, i think the only time i ever drove the car was when i took him to the hospital, he hurt his foot. are you cotable with jack behind the wheel? >> love it, betthan me. >> jimmy: okay, so you're not -- >> everyone is comfortab without him behind the wheel. [ laughter ] >> i got a driving license when i first passed my test, a ari. went out and got drunk and the ferrari disappeared for some reason. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the ferrari is gone. >> the ferras gone. >> jimmy: you do allhe driving? >> i do. he has a good excuse.
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>> i go -- jaclike, hallelujah! >> jimmy: are you really interested in ufos? >> big-time. i'm a tinfoil hat-wearing lunatic. >> jimmy: have you ever seen a ufo? >> i'vseen them inazy my cr days, seen lots of ufos. [ lauger ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jwhenimmy: ou're driving, i assume you've got directions? i remember, i can't imagine you navigatings i recall you losing your way ar your own house. >> but thosehe c a tzy days. >> jimmy: right, those are the crazy days. >> now he has ways for the house. >> jimmy: it's great to have you guys here. [ cheers and applause ] "ozzy and jack's world detour" sunday nights, 10:00 on history. thank you, gentlemen. be right back with the strokes! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by samsung. switch to s. cellular and get 50% off smartphones. it's a deal you don't want to miss. sir, hi. did you just say, "switch and you get 50% off a smartphone?" uh, yes. sorry. hi. hello. i was watching tv and i saw you say 50% off smartphones. and we'll cover all switching costs. oh! wow! also, you g... cuseuh, exe. switch to u.s. cellular and get 50% off smartphones.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank david spade, ozzy and jack osbourne and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, their ep is called "future present past," here with the song "threat of joy," the strokes! ? ? okay i see how it is now you don't have time to play with menymo ? ? that's how goes i guess [ bleep ] the rest be right there honey ?
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take my timeoday? ? i'm gonna take what comes my way take what they give me ? ? yeah i want my money now but he is not around you better hold my money safe what's your ergency ? ? andor the first time in my life ? ? i'mna get my self right? ? just get into trouble be there on the double ? ? i place your bets this time
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? i tried to take a roll but the dice are on parole ? ? i won't look down your dress i bet you bend down as a test ? ? i cannot wait to chase it all yeah i saw it in my crystal ball ? ? friday night the shining light the secret for a spy ? ? i got a better idea i'll bet you the side ? ? when i get in your face you know it's no surpris? ? ah baby why is it so hard to read the sentence in my eyes ?
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>>this is "nightline." >> tonight, thrill td tragedy. a 10-year-old boy deadfter trip down the world's tallest water slide. >> the mother was screaming, he's not moving, that's my boy. >> and tonight as three girls ar the question, are thrill rides becoming too dangs? plus sizzling serves, thrusting saves, attempts to make good on some brash predictions. >> we don go into this competition expecting anything but greatness. >> we're with t men's gymnastics team as theyctice r rio goi for go. the new normal. cell phos in high rises. a rarekoo at life in pyongyang, north korea.
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