>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, from "suicide squad," ra delevingne. comedianf ross. and music from culture clu an [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: thanks, everybody, i'm jimmy. i'm the ho thanks for watching, thanks fori

2,000 miles away from the republican national cotion happening in cleveland. tonight, episode three this incredib four-part reality series. featuring al donaltrump's family members and frenemies. evenruz gave aspeech, tht wa har to hear what he was sayingough thr all the crying. he did speak. eric trumpook the stage, donald trump's son. was st fbeend, which is sweet and a little sad ead his father taught him the valf hard work. i was wang thiand i was imagining if my dad runninfor president, and i had to give a speech about m. and i thought out it a long time. ke this.it would go something i'd say, my dadaught me, the st imphingtant te taught seoneer his finger ands and you to pull it, don'

president. i will say, one of the things i've been enjoying most about e cothention, almoveryone refers to him as donald j. ume there's another donald trump we might potentialluse y nfm with. i guess adding "j" makes him unmo presidential? but i'veroughlenjoyed everyone saying >> donald j. trump! >> don truj.. ald trump! >> donald j. trump! >> donald j. trump! >> donald j. trump! >> donald j. trump. >> donald j. trump! >> donald j. trump! >> dond j. trump. >> donald j. trump! >> donal trump donald j. trump! >> donald j. trump >> jimmy: come here, mom. give me a hug. i don't know.

realize, the "tands r jamal. donald jamal trump. lot of people say dond j. leftlela at hto w york after his wife spoke, people think, but chri christie. waki oin the backgd. you will see -- [ laughter ] it jusseemede he wn't there beusthat had an orange baground and he blenin. but he washere. think the most unusu co wermmentsmade by former ump ril dr. ben carson. speaking with the clarity and oqnc of a prominent brain surgeon who is successfull able to perform a lobotomy on hi f.[ laughter ] he made a connection between hillary clinton and lucifer, the devil. laughter ] for real. whh by the way,ice job, n. you spoiled theirig

lucifer is the running me. eersnd applause thatow you feel the be. but maybe en more interesting than that, dr. carson's warning not to underestimate how damaging four years can be. naative that's beingdvanced by some in our oarty. the notion that a hillary clinton administration wouldn't hat ba the effects would only be temporary. u know, that iwoully last for fou and ast eig years. they're using their god-given braihinkn to tbout what they're sayin because it w't be four or eight years. because she will be aoiing people who will have an effect on us for generations, and america may never recover. >> jimmy: that's whate id abtilry clinton yesterda this is wha he said bk in march about donald j. trump. >> even if donald trump turns

president, which i don't think is the case, i thinke'sng oi to surround himself with really good pple. onlyking at four yt, we're laught ] [ applause ] >> jimmyintereing. i do want to say in defse of ben carson, a lot of peopl y this when they're talking in their sleep a good thing they have a doctor there. a dozenbersem of the california delegation somehow contracted the norovirus at the convention and had to be quaranned. the norovirus, if you don't know, it's uncontrollable vomiting and loss of bowel control. ich it's basically what happens to chris christie every time he walks offstage after endorsing donald trump. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you probably know, dona'sife malaria trump -- melania trump -- [ laughter ] she's been accused of plagiarizing parts of michelle

denied this. melania claimed she wrote most of it herself. then a staffer called marily nobody knohere she is,ook responsibility, she apologized and offered to re. her elanation is melia told her admired miss obama, and at got confused and miss obama's brdame a part of the speec- basally the man who wrote the things melania pretend to e, admied she pretended to write the thing melan etenprd to righ confusing. [ cheers and applause ] here's my defense of melania. where's she from? slovenia. if you had to give a speech in sloveniaish, you might have to lift a few paragraphs in esh too, okay? [ laughter ] [ applause ]

that'sllermo and guillermo is out on hollywood boulevarh d, arm a barber c, barber pole. and the electric ror. it's hot out there. >> guillermoyeah, very hot, jimmy. >> jimmy: so tonight, to cool people off, lermo' going to give free summer haircuts. okay are you a licensed bar baologrber-tt or whatever they call it? >> guillermo: not at a >> j: lawsuits. we decided to do it again. this is a person we met on the street today as a pedestrian. what is your name, sir? [ cheers and applause ] i'm rry, i couldn't hear you. what is your n >> tyler. >> jmy: where are you from? >> michigan. >> jimmy: very good. u em to a lotir. >> i my: e you proud of your hair? >> s >> jimay. are you ready to say good-bye to >> yes. >> jimmy: do yodo for a

>> jimmy: oh. [ cheers and applause ] all right. so, we can test that hair afterwards, i guess, huh? >> it will nescln. jimmyso this is why you agreed to hi guillermo, what ardoine u >> guillermo: i'm trng to see where i will start. >> jim: oh okay. ke thayou're -- i w y toivim a gircuha eally okay? >>uiermo: all right, i'll trmyest. >> jimmy: are you rey? >> i'm ready. im: illerm dig in there. i shou, holdskmuch do you want off the top? maybe we should have asked that first. i guess all of it. >> jimmy: yeah, i guso. oh, boy. illerm went real crazy. whber atum you have that set

oks good right there i'd lve it like that if it was me. >> guillermo: , it does look good. >> jmy: you keep doing that, we'll check back in later and see tyler'hair looks. the blican national nventi is a good place to heple areolk politics. and values and all that sort of in but for me there's one thing that brings me bar ayeer year. and th is, white pple dancg. the rnc is the world's premier caucasian amateur dance fe.v so as a tribute to those whose booties shook this week, we put together a n little ghlight reel that says all that needs to be sai ? white people dancing we love to clap and mix it up and snap ? ? we point lik we're nod d e do karate ? ? sometimes a black friwill get in on the ?fu?

[ chee appuse ] >> jmy: yeah, it's good stuff. guilo,et see. ohw. you know what, it actualooks i have to say. do not lthat gd.nspection, it yeah. all right. we, ve you seen it yet? mirr yet? have you seen what has happened? >> not yet, but i don't have high hopes. >> jimmy: guillermo -- take a look. gmo: perfect, huh? >> jimmy: it's a little bit uneven. >> guillermo: all right, let me fix it. >> jimmy: don't worry. i think we have some crazy glue here. we can put some of that back on. all right. that was pretty good. guillermo, you finish up and wet sobody else in the chair. >> guillermore,: su jimmy, whatever you say. >> jimmy: sorry about that, tyler. thk all the money you'll save on sho. alright, tyler is stunned.

to, the roast mast general alk around our oice an roast members the sff when theye workg. and he did do that. and we'll give another haircut too, so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers anduse appla ? this summer, tobe's throwing a galaxy right now get a free samsung galaxy for everyone in t f. you heard right a free samsung laxy with every new li. and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each -or just 30 bucks a li. plus everydy getunlimited streaming from their favorite services. don't wait - get a free samsung galaxy for everyone.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from cul club on the way. let's go back out to hollywood boevard, oh, no. now, this is a b idea. what is your name? >> my name is grace.

guy's haircut? >> yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo, you can't do this. i don't know, guillermo -- have you ever cut a woman's hair before? >> guillermo: nonever. >> jimmy: okay. i think it would be better if cara delevingne takes over. [ cheers and applause ] , haveou ever cut >>o. ne's hair before? >> jimmy: okay. ou >> no. >> jimmy: looking at this young dy, doou have any of ideas w you mighproach this? >> i thinkh my eyes closed >>immy: you could lon eyebrow. we don't wano tht d. tell me about yolf. be we do this to your head. i'm foridfl and i love epping out of my comfort zone. >> jimmy: oh, well. yeah.

[ er ]ht do you really love stepping out of your comfort zone >> oh, yes. that's why i'm doing this. >> jimmy: and do you trust cara to give you a good haircut? >> 100%. >> jimmy: okay, well. all right. cara, get to work, let's see what you can didthere. let's tackle this. >> this way, right? >> jimmy: no -- okay, that -- oh, wow. okay, we're going -- yeah, that's a good look right there. oh, wow. >> i think i'm quitting my day job. this is my thing now. >> jimmy: well. yeah. i guess so. i feel like there are going to be tears at the end. you know what? we'll come back toou guys. you keep working and don't rush, take your time. >> oh, i will. >> jimmy: alght, vy good.

ross is with us. jefffrom the roasts on comedy central. he has a new show "jeff ross presents roast battle" on comedy central. his gift is making fun of people. he's devoted his life this. challenged him to go around our office and roast unsuspecting staff members. while they're at their desks. ourse accepted our challenge. and here it is. jeff ross roasts ourffice. >> jeff ross, the roast master general. i want to get in full roast mode people around the office at "jimmy kimmel live." hey, guys. how you doing? all right, what's going on, fellas? how you doing? tupac'usin, icken pac. and steven seagal if he let himself go. guillermo. hey! can i come in? >> guillermo: yeah, go ahead. >> i wanted to check out your office. wow.

siestatude? [ laughter ] this is like a hostage video right now. where's jimmy's office? >> guillermo: down here. sw you? >> yeah. wo, hi. what'sr b? >> resea >> can i get a window seat on delta? jimmy, thi guy' watching "james corden." >> jimmy: all right, let me have it. >> ygreat to see you, everything's working out for you. >>my: yeah. >> can i take a look around? is this the wdo you jumput of when the ratings come in? oh, looking great. tonight'mologue??< who's over here? >> jim that' josh. >> how you doing, josh? look, a jewish comedy writer, who would have guessed it. >> jimmy: how do you know he's jewish?

>> jimmy: get out of here, leave me alone. >> this is ken, the producer of my segment tonight, this looks great. who's your decorator, al qaeda? like a pot doctor, if they raided you, you could be out here in five minutes. ken, thank you for being my prodeven though you're dressed as a limo driver. congrats on your "death of a salesman" suit collection. ato you do? >> casting. >> casting, wow. you look like amy winehouse, if she went to rehab. >> wow. >> hi. better get out. wow, i find a pokemon. what are you here for, to watch better shows? how do you get to work every day, follow the yellow brick road? that lks gre. i never met a dinklage before. oh my go. hi, gary. >>hey, jef ross.

where do you shop? badwill? got a dishonorable harge from the salvation army? this is great, i've never been "hoarders" before. hi, jill. >> how are you? >> wow. wow, looats office. this is amazin is thiwhere the rams are supposed to play? anyway, want to [ bleep ] on a desk? i love t no, i'm talking to sal. i like your shirt. i didn't realize you worked as a pharmacist during the >> you went too far. no, no no! op, op! >> sayle sacous! say something! >> no! i'm not giving in! that's my best hat!

you've got to be able to take a being goodportessentia! to roasting! ierst people unless they voee [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, jeff. let's check back in with ca and guillermo. oh, wow. hey, you know what it looks -- oh, no. oh, wow. wow. are you to kgog p it like ghe be and after is quite >> oh, yea lo it. >> jimmy: well, i eve ca would accept a tip if you have any money in your purse. that looks beautiful. great cara. and we have a special something you,r ust in case you don't like it. amea makeca great again hat. very cute, there we . th cara. thanks, guilleo.

us on the violin. [ cheers and applause ] we have music om culre club, jeffrey ross is here, and we'll be rig bk with cara delevingne. sostick ound. ? [ rs andpplause ] ? justheyothink you know what a computer is. u see a keyboard that can just, get out of the way. and even write on. when you see a computer that can do all that, it might just ma you wonder... hey, what else can it ? ? crabst is on at red lobster so come dive into dishes like the new alaska bairdi crab dinner with sweet crab from the icy waters of alaska.

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>> jimmy: there we go. that's peter tickell sitting in with the cletones on violin. he's on tour with sting and peter gabriel. night.and i saw the show suny you were so phenomenal we said, we've got to get this guy on the show, so thas r ming. [ cheers and applause ] you do you like better, sting or peter gabriel? >> i can't really comment on that. jimmy: but you ve somebody

like them both equally. they're both incredible sicians. >> jmy: all right. tonight, he's got a new show called "jf ross prents roast battl premiering next thursday night comedy central, jeff ross is re. [ and applaus then, l the y ondon, re on their first world tour in more than 15 years, culture club froe samsg outdoor stage. [ cheers applae ] because we missed them. tomorrow, viggo mortensen will be here, george lopez willn us, and we'll hear colin hay, our fend jake byrd crashed the republican alonntion. we will have the results of that for you. our first guest tonight is a model-turned-actress with 31 million followers on instagram, and magic powers you will t believe. starting august 5th she stars alongside will smith, jared leto, and margot robbie in "suicide squad." >> enchantress.

>> meet thenchantress. everything we knowut her is in ybrfi packs she has walked this earth for a very long time and will likely be here when wore long gone. >> this meeting is now a magic show? >> magic or not, this girl can do some pretty incredible things. go get it, girl. >> jimmy: se say hello to cara devingn [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: great to s y. i always forget about the european thing with the two kisses. >> i was waiting.

enjoy cutting that woman's hair. >>here we go. >> jimmy: you had a jeel for that haircut. >> i didn't know. i didn't know that was going to happen. it just glided through. >> jimmy: did you decide to give her the pigtails on the side? or was that her? >> i was going to leave the front, but guillermo screwed it up. >> jimmy: righ rit. >> i went with it. i'm sorry, dude. i didn't mean to dog you. >> jimmy: he is unlicensed. it's very good to see you. >> i'm not, clearly. >> jimmy: i know you have a number of tattoos. i wanted to ask you about one in particular. this really attracte, put that up on the screen. that's on the bott of your foot, that's real, right? [ cheers and applause ] does this refer to the bacon we have for breakfast, or francis bacon? or some other bacon thing? >> any bacon is good. am i right? i think so. it's also bacon-colored.

and dot dot dot, an open-ended question, it's not a statement, however you want to take it. it's also scratch and sniff. >> jimmy: really? your feet smell like bacon. >> i wish. >> jimmy: and i'm getting on the fact that you have a bac tattoo you are not jewish? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's like a double whammy. >> i'm trying to become a vegetarian. >> jimmy: are you? >> maybe i'll make it veggie bacon. i live bacon but i love animals. >> jimmy: do they make veggie >> clearly, you love bacon. >> jimmy: i like regular bacon, from the pig. yeah. well -- from the old pig. yeah. how do you like it cooked, crispy, medium? >> crispy. sometimes raw, if i want to lose some weight. i'm kidding. back in my modeling days -- no, no. chris christie -- >> jimmy: i saw "suicide squad" last night. >> you did? yove seen it befor me.

the next question, you won't have an anor it. but i was thinking, how awesome would it be to see yourself on a screen with that, with powers and doing incredible things? i don't know that i would ever stop watching it. i really wouldn't. realllike -- it's got to be really exciting. >> it's really weird. >> jimmy: did you know anybody in the cast before you started shooti t movie? >> no -- yeah. a little bit. like i met a few of them a couple times. >> jimmy: but nobody really close. do you feel like you're an tu yeah. we have a text teacalled suicide squad for life and we talk basically every day. >> jimmy: really. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is will smith on this text thread with you? >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: is. wow. seems like he'd be too busy for that. >> he makes time for the squad life. >> jimmy: i saw a video of you on i think your instag you're doing an amazing thing.

ths a water bottle you put on your head, and you can get up. >> i look possessed. this is why i got the part in "suicide squad." >> jimmy: this is her real superpower, getting up and standing. >> how many necks do i have? >> jimmy: without dropping t bottle. how did you develop this skill? >> thiis an evian bottle, by the way. i don't know. at the end of the shoot, i was like, how can i geme attention? thank you! >> jmylyeel like could t. >> i w chaantoenge you. >> jim: so we ha tse les. i've n ped oanything you may need to coachrgh it >> let's do it together. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> if i this heels and a dress? >> jimmy: that we ou b essive >> you've got to s my ha.

>> no, no, no. you have t down d come back again. >> jimmy: really? forget it. i'm not going do that. i thought you std on t ground. okay. >> you're way too close to me. >> jimmy: i don't know where you are. >> i don't know where you are either. why are. >> jimmy: i'm oking up. >> this way. >> jimmy: all right. stillot it on. [ laughter ] all right. i'm already down on the ground. whic alrdy starting to wobble. cheersnd applause ] it's -- i still have it on. i still -- i havenroppedt. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] wow. wow. i did it! [ cheers and applause ] nicely done. cara delevingne, everyone.

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[ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hello, everyone,

culture club. our next guest is oucotry's greatest roaster since kenny rogers. his new show pits coan against comedian, "jeff ross esents roast battle" premieres on comedy centranexthursday please say hello to jeoss. cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hodoing? >> this is so fun. my: i'm happ have you here. just wt you to explain to the audience, they may not know what a roast battle is. >> two comedians going mike to mike in verbalomt. >> jimmy: you invited me to come this at the comedy store a couple of wes o. it's unbelievably funny, it's so much funni than people would en imagine, it's

sometimes they don't. how did this start? whose idea washis? >> two comedians win the parking lot, almost having a fist fight. brines, the referee, said don't fight, write jokes, come back together and roast each other. >> jimmy: and they did? >> roast bate waborn. >> jimmy: they went home a angrily wrote jokes about each other? in the end it brought them closer together. >> jimmy: th cldn't have uch mrther apart. fi and this became a sh. >> one of them was a stoner, and one of them was a stutterer. >> jimally >> yeah. i don't reme theirames. i remember it took a long time to do the battle. [ laught >> jimmy: tournament-sty wh yeah. we're doing on comedy centl is a march madness-style bracketed tournament. 16 comedians from 4 erent countries,oachther, one-on-one, it's like a home run rby de roasting. they research eacher, do metimes it goetokes.

next friday in the semifinals. >> jimmy: the semifinals. it will be hel inmontreal, at the just for laus festal. >> crazy. >> jimmy: that's goingo be a lot of fun. what do i have to do as a judge? >> here are the res. the rules of roast battle are original material only. you look for origi.ty no yo mama jokes. nothing off the internet. it's a joke writer's showcase. the art o the roast joke >> jimmy: okay. >> number two. nothing is off limits. you can cut deep. no chillt you can't touch the other person until the end. every battle ends with a hug. >> jimmy: okay, and that's -- so me, i just sit there and make se the terial seems to be original. >> your job is to get wasted and decide who is funnier. [ laughter ] >> jim: ay, good, all righ that's what we do anyway. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have roasted -- how many times have you roasted donald trump? >> i've roasted ld trump -- i guess twice officially. >> jimmy: twice officially.

to his resort to make fun of h in front of himbers. >> jimmy: i see. and d react well to tha because he's notoriously thin-skinned, right? >> i'm ali still. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was there anything off-limits? when asks you to do that? >> he'sery odd in a certain g. you can make fun of his hair, his appearance, the fact th he could be our first orange-american president. none that have bothers him. what bothers him is jokes family, he doesn't care. what hurts is if you make fun of the fact that he has gone bankrupt in the past. >> jimmy: that he doesn't like? >> that's the one thing he's super sensitive about. >> jimmy: really? >> you can't make f of how muchon he's lost. >> jimmy: did he say something to you about it? >> the writers were sending him his jokes. wh's the difference between a t squirrel and donald trump? and the punch line was, a wet squirrel doesn't have $2 billion.

>> jimmy: really? >> the writers wrote back, h about $4 million? it became a business negotiation. theytled on $7 million. he didn't care they were making fun of his hair. >> jimmy: have you ever roasted hillary clinton? >> that would be fun. i would like to see donald trump and hillary clinton not debate but have a roast battle. [ cheers and applause ] in a weirday iave been thinki lately. if donald trump d president, you could be vice president but roast master general gets elevated to cabinet-level position. he's going to be like, i need four insults about north korea by 3:00! >> jimmy: that is definitely the arean which he would excel. >> it was a very surreal plane ride. >> jimmy: with donald trump? what was weird about it? >> i called it hair foe one. he a good listener.

watch? >> "american history x". immy: , really? [ laughter ] i don't know if that's a joke or not. speaking of jokes -- >>e laughed the entire way through it. >> jimmy: this was something you tweeted on july 15th. breaking news, the country o turkey will now be called pastrami. take me through the process of writing, how that makes it to the web. co sometimes the inspiration can co from anywhere. >> jimmy: where did this come from? >> katz's denew li in rk. i'm sitting there having a late-night snack. i'm looking at the breaking news on my phone. i see there's a revolution a coup happening in tourry. a tourry. i'm like, hey, i got some political humor. >> jimmy: dianybody think it was insensitive? >> one guy wrote back, said, at least they won't go hungary.

>> jimmy: "jeff ross presents roast battle" premierext thursday at 10:00 p.m. on comedy central. we'll be right back with culture !l [ cheers and applause ] ? >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. i's stunningly beautiful, a perfect blend of performance and design.

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untangle or help improve the multip symptoms of depression. for me, trintellix made a differ. tell your healthcare ession right away if your depression worsens, or y have usual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressantcaincrease these in children, en and young adults. trintellix has not been studied in children. do note thaois. tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially fe-thrning condition. especially if takewith nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. manic episodes or vision prlems may occur in some people. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. trintellix did not have significant impact on weig. ask your healthcare professional trintellix

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>> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a.a are and want to see the show, call jimmykimmellive.

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nothing toe. that's transfarency. (clap, clap, ding) >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel lion prested by samsu >> jimmy: i'd like to thank cara delevingne, jeff r an out of time. to matt damon. ightline" is next. but first, you can shem this mmer otheir first u.s. tr firstorld tr in 15 years. here wh theong "miss me ind," culture club! [ cheers and applause ] ? miss me i kyou'll miss me

? now there's no need to demand you ?my golden hand each ? andoul never be sure if the way that yeed isoo much like greed decide if you are rich ? ? or you're poor because the love that i have tgive must be better ? ? than that kind it can make you rich it can make you poor but i know that ? ? you'll miss m you'll miss iw you'll ss me i youl ? ? miss me blindno kyou'll miss me i kn you'll miss me i know you'll ? ? miss me blind ? ? [ cheers and applause ] ?

? ? ? ? ? ? ? i know you'll miss me i know you'll miss me i know ll ?

know you'll ? ? miss me blind i know you'll miss me i know youmiss me i know you'll miss me blind ? ? [ cheers and applause ? ? ? you never know who you might meet ? ? oh there's a glowing storm there's none there to keep you warm ? ? it'so surprise there's something in my eyes ? ? it's a miracle it's a miracl? ? it's a miracle it's a racle ? ? it's a miracle it's

? and dreams are made of emotion ? ? dce with the cnter piece i need you there ? ?uno the edge of time whe m there? ? but doou really care it's a miracle ? ? it's a miracle it's a miracle ? ? is a miracle it's a miracle ? ? it's a miracle and dreams are de? ? ah it's a miracle? ? ah it's a miracle ah it's a miracle let's see your hands!

? tonight, the voluntouri trap. tring halfwayaround the world, dong your time and money, to a children's orphanage, only to over it's ect opposite of the safe haveyo >> busesses built to break your heart and your bank. >> were t children told to tell the white people they were orphans? >> yes. >> yes? >> we're on the case. tracking down one of the men who profited from the dark side of summer vacation. >>id ever abuse kids? >> no. they'd get a snow ne. the u.s. women's gymnastics team takes the gold. led by a 19-year- gir who has the gymnastics world