time now for tonight's "closing argument." in a first prison interview today with an attorney in north carolina, a reporteredly buff looking bernie madoff said he could not believe his massive ponzi scheme succeeded for so many years. he said, there were so many times i met with the s.e.c. and thought they got me, according to one who met with the inmate on behalf of the victims of the scam. tonight we ask, does madoff's apparent surprise indicate the incompetence of the s.e.c. or his own apparent work as a

fraudster. tomorrow night, rebranding las vegas. family values are out and sin is in. and once again, what happens in vegas stays in vegas. that's tomorrow. but that's our report for tonight. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. ♪ les fraises? >> ouil. >> go to the next one. that's the same one. [ laughter ] >> he e parapluie? >> oui. >> oh, hi, i'm jimmy kimmel, and this is my uncle frank. summer travel season is in full swing, and uncle frank and i were just planning a very special vacation. weren't we, uncle frank? >> oui. >> uncle frank has offered to take me to his favorite city --

montreal, on two important conditions. one, that i learn some french. >> oui. >> le kangourou? >> oui. >> and two, that i book all our travel using expedia.com. as represented by this giant suitcase. there's never been a better time to book your trip on expedia. not only can you get great summer vacation deals, but right now, when you book a hotel for three or more nights, you'll get a $50 prepaid mastercard card for gas. simply put, expedia is, dare i say, la meilleure valeurdans le voyage. >> tres bien, jimmy. votre francaisest presque aussibon qeule mien. >> vous etestrop gentils. >> et quandnous arrivons a montreal, neveu, vous me donnerez le pudding et agraferezdes bebes a i i have no idea what you jus said, but whatever it was,'m

in. >> ba k hote for three or ho more nights and get $50 for gas, now on expedia. imites wiri eel live," mithba c winter, music from parachute and leslie mann. an jimmy the chimp. big day. big opportunity. hi. ( whimpers, inhales ) ( sobs ) - hello! ( shakes and exhales ) for big moments anywhere, keep a little strength in your pocket. ( ding ) altoids smalls. are you in mint condition?

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>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- from "funny people", leslie mann. eric winter. jimmy the talking chimp. and music from parachute. with cleto and the cletones.

and now, watch out, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> that's very nice, i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. don't let me calm exterior fool you. i'm a cat waiting to pounce. who watched the season finale of "the bachelorette" last night? so beautiful, so beautiful. and in case you missed it, "the bachelorette," jillian harris, finally found the kind of true love you can only find from 30 men preselected by a tv production company and now after 11 long weeks we know who

jillian will date for three weeks and then quietly break up with larry king has a better track record than the bachelors and bachelorettes in marriage. it came down to a choice between computer consultant ed and in a surprise twist, south carolina governor mark sanford who gets around. they didn't have the kind of drama when jason picked and then unpicked melissa rycroft. right before she was about to give ed the final rose, the producers brought in a third guy named reed. reed got the boot because she didn't think he was into her and when he showed with a ring she had a tough decision to make. >> i've been through all these different challenges and for reed to come back and propose to me, i wished it would have

happened a long time ago. >> i know your question about reed was that he couldn't commit. >> yeah. >> are you excited about the prospect of ed showing up, getting down on one knee and proposing to you today? >> yes. >> you're in love with thisfy? >> yes. >> you want ed to be your husband? >> yes. >> then that's no question what you need to do. [ laughter ] >> and that's -- no more roses. the producers of "the bachelorette" and "the bachelor" promise a great finale and i gi them credit for being honest about it. >> tonight, "the bachelorette" finale that some of you have been waiting for. it's one of the least explosive bachelorette finals ever. "the bachelotte" finale, you

will believe what happens. only on abc. >> that's something, right? here's the thing. here's my problem with this show. these are people who spent a total of approximately -- we figured it out today 45 hours together. based on the 45 hours they decided to get married and then the people who watch it cry because they're so happy for them. meanwhile, if your daughter came home and said she was engaged to someone she knew for 45 hours you'd cry too, but not with happiness. on sunday night, the season finale of "daisy of love". this is a show on which oscar de la hoya's niece -- we have round out of -- we have run out of celebrities. daisy eliminates one, 12 pack. then flew off with the other guy on the helicopter, but 12 pack made this -- this to me is one

of the all-time great moments in reality show history. >> oh, my gosh. >> i'm stuck in the empty parking lot by myself. i don't care. i should never have told the girl that i was falling for her because every time i tell a girl that, this is what happens to me. i get left with nothing. every time. i don't know. i don't know if i'll ever be tell anybody again that i love them or i'm falling in love with them. [ laughter ] >> poor 12 pack. well, i don't know what he was trying to say, but i think we can safely assume whatever it was, it was dumb. [ laughter ] speaking of dumb, the dumb media forced sarah palin to step down

as governor of alaska. she gave a real barn burner of a speech. this is a woman who definitely sticks by her guns. >> together, we do stand with gratitude for our troops who protect all of our cherished freedoms include our freedom of speech which par for the course i'm going to exercise. >> well, she hit russia with those. another great speech this weekend, baseball great ricky henderson was inducted into the hall of fame. rickey henderson has been one of my favorites, off the field more than on. he's quite a character and his speech on sunday was nothing short of fantastic. >> my dream was to play football for the oakland raiders. but my mom thought i would get hurt playing football so she chose baseball for me.

i guess moms do know best. [ laughter ] >> yes, they do. i'm sorry, but you're fired, we have a new announcer. ricky henderson isn't called a stickler r grammar. in fact, he barely speaks english, but who cares he was a fast runner. >> i would like to give a very, very special thanks to all my beautiful and intelligent daughter, and also i want to thank the members of the hall of fame, several of my high school friends, thanks everyone here for making my dream come true today. >> yeah, well plural, singular, who cares. ipraying he writes -- i'm praying he writes a book and comes out with the book on tape

version of it. thank you. and in other news, michael vick has been conditionally reinated by the nfl. he has to wait until october to play in the game and he has to practice every day against a team of angry dobermans. michael vick has been working hard to rehabilitate himself, he served prison time, he volunteered to work with animal rights organizations and he was at the taco bell funeral. some fans are actually quite excited by his return. ♪ he's coming back you stupid dog ♪ ♪ i won't be -- i hope you play for the panthers ♪ ♪ yea that would be good,

meow ♪ ♪ hey michael vick, he's a dog, meow ♪ >> you know, a great cat. we have a good show tonight. on the show tonight, leslie mann is here. eric winter is here. music from parachute. and when we come back, i will dress up like a chimp and say weird things to kids, so stick around. so, you're planning a trip. first stop bing. cause any search engine can help you find a plane ticket. but bing, with price predictor, can help make sure you don't pay too much for it. (sfx: "bing") it's not just a search engine it's the first ever decision engine from microsoft.

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♪ hi, there, welcome back. well, you're here on -- all this week we're joined by the stars of judd apatow's new movie, "funny people". it opens friday and the cavalcade begins tonight with leslie mann. also with us tonight, from "the ugly truth", eric winter is here. and later, a band from virginia you can see them on their first-ever tour with kelly clarkson, making their first-ever appearance on network television. this is their debut album "losing sleep", music tonight from parachute. tomorrow night, jonah hill, mam skateboarderyan eckler.

th latater ts s ekek, seseth rogen, melissa sagemiller, anne heche,e,ubrey plplaza, and musi mamaequiuin.die birch and jack's so pleasase in us en. you know, en i'm not t out clbing, i'm usually here at work. and sometimes, i like to dress up like a chimimnz. cousin sal, jimmy the talking my chimp. ♪ >> helello you l ladies. come on up to et jimmy the talking chimp. tell jimmy your names. >> amaa. >> elizabeth. >> how old are you guys? >> 6. >> 7. >> do you have any questions for jimmy the talking chimp? >> what's your favorite color? >> who cares? i don't see colors. all i see are the bars on this cage. [ laughter ] >> he's not happy today. >> you ever talk to a chimp before? >> no. >> no. >> what do you want to be when you grow up? >> models.

>> a rap star. >> you guys are kidding, right? [ laughter ] >> let me tell you something. i had big dreams when i was a kid. did you know what i wanted to be? a movie star like king kong. now look where i am, in a cage. talking to kids. >> you know what? i hear the banana truck is here. i have to deal with some invoices. you'll be okay? the three of you. >> yeah. i'll be fine bring me some bananas. >> bring you some bananas. >> some fresh ones too not green. >> okay, got it. >> can i tell you guys a sret? >> yeah. >> i stole his keys. tonight, when they leave me here, gaming to break out of this cage. >> where are you going to go? >> i don't know. where do you think i should go? >> the jungle. >> the jungle? >> yeah. >> i don't know where there is a jungle around here. i mean -- >> well, you could always visit

my grandma. >>eally? >> she's very nice. she works at the zoo and she's nice to the animal. >> she works at the zoo? >> yeah. >> i don't want to be locked up. i want to be free. i want to walk around and so i've got these keys. what i'm going to do is i'm going to escape from this cage and then knock him over the head. maybe stuff him in a trunk or something like that. and then i'll, you know, probably have to get a suit or something like that so i can blend in. maybe a baseball hat and then i'll shave. >> you can always come to my house. >> really? >> you can live in the backyard. >> really? >> it's really, really fun out there. >> do you have swings or anything? >> i have monkey bars. >> monkey bars! [ laughter ] that's fun. that's perfect for me. >> i also can buy bananas. >> that would be good too. you'll get me the nice round ones, not the green ones?

>>. >> yeah. i'll try to give you appreciate ones. >> that would be nice. whatever you do, don't tell him. okay. >> okay. >> because i have had enough of him. i'm going to fix him. fix him good. >> all right. here we go. bananas, fresh off the truck. various colors, mostly yellow, go ahead, jimmy. pick whatever you want. >> i'll take one. thank you, you can have that one. so we're just talking here. and -- >> what are you talking about? >> i'll be honest. i was planning to escape. >> what? >> these girls, they stole the keys. >> no. >> you stole the keys? >> no. >> they stole them out of your pocket. >> no. >> when did you do that? i was here and then left -- >> it wasn't her. it was her. right? >> well, it was him. honest. >> hold on a second now. >> yeah. >> hold on a second. >> he told us he stole the keys to escape. >> i did no such thing! >> you're not being escape.

that's another not being a good soldier. >> a what? >> a good soldier. >> listen, i don't know what kind of communist school you go to, but here's the story. i may not be a peace builder whatever that is, but i'm going to live with her at her house. >> how that's going to happen? how did you take my keys? >> don't worry about it. anyway -- >> she d not steal them. >> shh. she stole them. >> no. >> any waive, what i'm trying to say is this. i'm going to be living in her bedroom and she's going to live in the backyard. >> no, you get to live in theb backyard. >> what do you mean i get to live in the backbackyard? >> animals live in the backyard. >> whoa, i'm an animal. five minutes ago we were best

friends. is she always like this? >> no. >> here's what's happening. i'll be living in the bedroom and she's be in the monkey bars in the backyard. >> no. >> well, i get the bed. >> we both get the bed. >> i get on one side, you get on the other. >> listen, i have a lot of bugs on me. >> well, he's not getting the keys. >> all right. let's go. get me out of this thing. >> i'm not -- >> what do you mean? we had a deal. we were going to be peace builders together. i was going to live in your bedroom with you. >> too crowded. >> oh! >> too crowded. i have too many toys. >> oh! >> so you're saying that -- i met the two of you, we hit it off and you promised me a home and now you're going back on

your program uses. -- promises. >> i want to go back to my lives. >> all right. fine, see what i care. >> what happened? i passed out. >> don't tell anybody what happened in here. okay? bye, kids. have a nice life. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> sorry, kids. we'll be right back with leslie mann. mm

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♪ ♪ hi, here, we're back. first stihl to come, eric winter and parachute. you know our first guest tonight from the movies, including "the 40-year-old virgin" and "knocked up". her fifth collaboration with her husband judd apatow is called "funny people". it opens this friday. please say hello to leslie mann. [ cheers and applause ]

you look very lovely. thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me. >> i saw the movie and you did a great job in it. in fact, rolling stone said that you're the best argument for n nepotism. previously my uncle frank had been -- so congratulations to that you for that. >> thank you. >> and it must be hard, because oh, it's her husband. >> i do work with people other than my husband, but i don't know. i mean, he's -- he's done a lot ofreat movies -- >> how many have you done together? >> well, this is our fourth -- i guess our fifth one. >> fifth one. >> and he's done great stuff, but i, you know, the ones that i'm in are kind of his best ones. so -- >> there you go. >> yeah. >> well, sure, you're his lucky

charm i guess. is it something -- will you be upset with him if there was a part, oh, i'd like to play a part and he didn't have you that play that part? >> not at all. well, maybe. maybe i would be. i don't think so. i don't know. it hasn't happened yet. >> does he lord it over you? i mean, are there things you have to do in exchange for consideration? i mean there's the husband/director relationship there that could be very fragile. >> i take very good care of him. i do nice things for him. i shave his back and i -- [ laughter ] i groom him. >> really? >> yeah. which isn't easy because he's very hairy. >> really? >> hair from the -- basically, goes from just all the way down. from the ankles -- >> would you say -- not his back? >> well, i'm supposed to shave st the neck part because he

wears shirts -- [ laughter ] >> i have always noticed that about him, he wears shirts. >> and then -- and then you have to -- you know, you have to do a little fade because you can't have -- like if he does take his shirt off, you can't have bald neck and then big hair. >> uh-huh. >> you have to do a little fade with the razor which can get tricky because i shave too much and there's a hole. i don't know where to end because if do go down further, do you stop there? or do you go -- or this area, do you go around more? [ laughter ] >> in a way he's like -- >> very complicated. >> he's like your own topiary tree. >> so -- he gets really like bossy and kind of mean about it. don't do that. what you did to me last time, don't make me look weird, don't do it that way. so i'm going to try to train my

daughter maud who is 11 how to do it. >> oh, yeah, that's a great -- [ laughter ] >> i don't know -- >> a modern day version of mowing the lawn. time to mow daddy. wow. that's not a job for the kids. do you shave it clean, do you use machinery to to it? >> i use an electric razor and it has different settings. like the neck part would be the setting level one, and then as you go down a little further, it's the two. and then up to three so it's the nice fade. >> uh-huh. that is nice. so you're living with chewbaka. wow. that's something. >> it's fun. >> i have had a few attempts on my back to get to the hair there. but i reject them because -- i don't know. many years ago my mom decided to put one of those stickers -- they have sticker they'll put on you and they'll rip them off.

she put one on my back and i was walking around the house and she jumped out of something, and slapped it on my back and i knew it had to come off which is horrible. when she ripped it off it was a big red square on my back like i was a russian icon or something like that. it was terrible. i vowed never again -- i decided god decided to make me into a given and that is how i will be. >> i like the hairy back. really do. i don't know -- i mean, it's soft and cuddly. we have a lot of -- >> aside from the plumbing -- judd and adam sandler, when they were roommates were you together back then? >> no, no. we met -- i don't know how long after, but i met adam sandler first. >> oh. >> at a nightclub. we were like 21 -- or i was 21 and he was very young. i don't how much older he is than me. he sent me a ketchup note.

i was at a nightclub with a bunch of girlfriends and he was with his boyfriends. i guess i had a backless shirt on or something and he wrote a note on the background of a ketchup packet saying nice back or something. and my friends said, why don't you want to see adam? i said, well, why doesn't he come over to see me and he's like, go over there to see him. then it was like a standoff and neither one of us went to the other one's table. that was it. then we saw each other a few months ago when judd and i started to date. it was really awkward. >> how could -- how does one write in ketchup to start with?

>> i don't know. a pointy ketchup bottle. >> in the movie you play the long last love of adam sandler's character. well, i mean, you know this because you're in the movie, but maybe some of the audience doesn't know. you have since remarried in the film. >> yes. >> you have remared eric -- rerrer remarried eric bannen and he's the hulk. do you think you need to set this up? >> no i think that was good enough. >> thank you. >> did you see her before? she's quite the actress. >> well, she's pretty good. >> yeah. >> i can't say i watched much of that melrose place too. party of five, it wasn't really for me. >> well it was down to me and cameron diaz for the lead part in the mask. >> cameron diaz, that's my girl. she's a bloody top actress.

what was the film she was in with the hair -- "something about mary". oh, i love that movie. she was so funny. >> not what you want to hear. the last time you were here, you had been googling yourself and reading things people wrote about you. i know you brought things tonight. i don't think this is a good idea in general to google yourself. >> i can't help it. i wake up early in the morning and i'm like, what's going on? but it depresses me for the rest of the day usually because people can be kind of mean. >> the opposite of coffee in the morning. >> yeah. >> what do you have here? what's the pulse? >>. >> well there's a website called hot or not and i of course i go to visit that one. the last time i was here, they were writing mean things about me. and now they're getting a little bit nicer. >> oh, good. >> a little bit, but not much. so i just wanted to say -- okay, this is i -- i'll just read you

a couple of them to show you what i deal with every morning. okay, this is the low i can man, skel aor the face, her legs are better than i thought though. i think the legs compliment -- >> morthan kind of nice, yeah. >> nicer than it was before then. then miley virus says great bod, judd apatow is a lucky man for landing this babe. thank you. which is really nice. then there's evil samurai who is my arch nemesis from the last time. he says bagable face, i wouldn't do her. >> wow. >> so i just want to say this to evil samurai, if you're out. there i know you're trying to act cool in front of your internet friends an stuff, but i think if i showed up on your

doorstep you would do me. [ laughter ] >> i think you're right. "funny people" opens on friday. we'll be right back with eric winter. mmiv]g

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♪ hi, we're back. hey, now, parachute is on the way. our next guest was studying medicine at ucla when he decided to drop out of school and become an actor. kind of the opposite of "grey's anatomy." now he co-stars with katherine heigl from "grey's anatomy" in "the ugly truth". please say hello to eric winter. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations on the movie, doing so well this weekend. it did very, very well. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> did you go to see it, go see yourself in the movie? >> i never had done it before. i said let's see what this is like, it started with ten

friends, it tiurned into 50 friends and i'll never do it again. >> why, what happened? >> all of them are screaming. the whole theater is like what the hell is going on? >> did people figure it out -- >> yeah. we stuck around for a while. we're waiting to exit and then people are waiting for us to exit, and people started to take pictures which is flattering, but it was embarrassing. >> speaking of embarrassing, you have a scene in the movie where you're standing naked in front of katherine heigl and she's not naked. i think there's a lot of pressure on you. >> yeah, especially with the guy. it was the most awkward scene. >> how did it work? >> she's looking for cat in the tree. she falls of the tree, screams for help.

i come running with the towel on, gracefully to help her with the tree and then the towel gets ripped off and that's how we meet. >> yeah. >> awkward encounter. head to head of a different kind. >> yeah. did you have to wear -- did you have to wear some sort of a shield or a -- >> i like shield. >> like a nixon mask or something like that? >> um, it was like a really weird man garment, sort of cut and shaped to fit appropriately. double stick taped all around. >> who put it on you? >> i have to thank makeup for that myself and myself. >> you helped them out? >> they had to work around that. it's interesting because, you know, we have tan lines and -- >> who does? i don't. >> you have tan lines? i should have done that. >> just never going outside. the tan line i have really is like right here.

and then right on my wrist. yeah. >> i have the odd ones that are down here. they had to do air brushing to get rid of them. >> really? >> that was more awkward than doing the scene. >> they had to spray paint your ass? >> yeah. >> they had to blend everything in. it was very a bizarre moment, being in the trailer with the makeup artist. everybody was prohibited from being in there. i was holding on to a shield as you put it. i feel this cool air brush on my legs and making sure everything was blending. weird moment. >> what would be wrong with having tan lines in the movie, people because have them, right? >> true. but it was my ass' debut. i wanted it to be just -- >> by the way i forgot to congratulate your ass also. >> thank you. it was a big day. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> you really were in medical

school for year and i hear it sometimes and i almost never believe it. you're too good looking for medical school. >> i was premed. which is -- kind of a -- from -- i wish i was in medical school. >> what were you studying? >> psychobiology. >> i don't know what that is. >> what is psychobiology? >> it's a study of wh goes on with the brain that causes dysfunction, what makes people tick and then that messes them up psychologically. it was hard core and that led me into modeling. >> you decided to quit to get into modeling? >> yeah. it go started in the business. with a modelling and that took me all over the world travelling. it was difficult to go to my professors at ucla, i'm going to miss this, i'm shooting a shoot.

and it was difficult. it was like a northern campus and they don't care about entertainment, what you're doing, if you're an athlete, they don't care. >> they're hunched looking into a microscope. >> and by the way, they should care. i wanted to be a doctor. >> you would think so. >> that didn't work out, i had to take time off from school and focus on it. >> maybe you'll play a doctor some day. >> it made me mom proud. >> speaking of making your mom proud, you went on a uso tour. this is when you were on "days of our lives" that went on the tour. this is a great picture. where are you there? >> that's afghanistan. >> afghanistan. and i see you're there with john amos. >> which is so funny by the way. >> i always wanted to go to

afghanistan with john amos from "good times". tell me which one is you. >> these are my friends from high school. [ laughter ] >> quite a sofoftball team phot right there. >> it was a blast. >> thilooks like you visited from another century. [ laughter ] it's something. >> we were on the basese andhohe are local afghani people they hire to work on the base. they pay them and help maintain a a lot of things on the base. i was like on a humvee driving through this basase. i said, can i get a picture with the guguys? sure.. all the soldiers get off w wh guns. hey, guys. any chan we can do a group photo? yeah, sure. >> that was well worth it. looks lilike you were practical becoming one of the locals there. i tried. >> well, great to meet you. congratulations on the movie. calllled "the ugly truth". it's in movies now. eric winteter. coming up, music from parachute. 7

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♪ hi, we're back. this is their debut cd. it's called "losing sleep". here with the song, "she is love", parachute. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i've been beaten down, i've been kicked around ♪ ♪ but she takes it all for me and i lost my faith, in my darkest days ♪ but she makes me want to believe ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪

♪ well, i had my ways, they were all in vain ♪ ♪ but she waited patiently it was all the same, all my pride and shame ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ she is love, and she is all i need ♪ ♪ 'cause when that world slows down, dear ♪

♪ and when those stars burn out, here ♪ ♪ oh, she'll be here, yes, she'll be there ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ they call her love, love, love, love, love ♪ ♪ she is love, and she is all i need ♪ ♪ she is love, and she is all i need ♪

♪ she is love, and she is all i need ♪ [ cheers and applause ] y