tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 15, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EDT
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typically wins, but tonight, this champion was denied the sixth open championship, defeated by 20-year-old martin del potro. it broke a 40-match winning streak and del potro's win is his first-ever in the u.s. open. it's likely not the last. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. from all of us at abc news, good nigh america. >> announcer: tonight on "jimmy kimmelive" -- >> coming up at the top of the hour, a southern california man gets his [ bleep ] bitten off at a protest for healthcare refor >> gerard butler. >> what did you do as a carney, what was your job? >> i worked on the wacky wire. >> what's going on with you and jennifer aniston?
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>> oh! >> you got me. >> number one, clambake. >> nate berke us. >> last time you were here, i gave you a gift. >> you did. >> i'm honored to see that you have -- >> it takes me 15 minutes to light those candles. >> yeah. >> maxwell. ♪ >> "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with gerard butler, nate berkus and music from maxwell. (announcer) there are engines... and then there's the twin-turbocharging, 365-horsepower-generating, ecoboost™ engine in the all-new ford taurus sho that has the thirst of a v6 with the thrust of a v8. we speak car. we speak innovation. introducing the all-new taurus sho from ford.
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introducing the all-new taurus sho from ford. is as easy as one, two, three. with covergirl trublend, if your liquid makeup is a two, then your concealer, powder and blush are too. we've got your number, and it adds up to a more beautiful you. the trublend collection from easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- gerard butler. oprah's interior designer, nate berkus.
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and music from maxwell. with cleto and the cletones. and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> well, thank you, cleto. welcome to the show, i'm jimmy. i'm the host, which is the main reason why i'm up here and i want to say happy labor day weekend. i hope you have a job to be off from on monday. the economy is getting worse, the department of labor today announced that unemployment is at a 26-year high of 9.7%, making this the most ironic
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labor day since 1983. crazy. there are 15 million unemployed people in america and michael vick isn't one of them. [ laughter ] labor day is the symbolic end to the summer for most of the country. here in l.a. summer doesn't officially come to a close until matthew mcconaughey puts a shirt on which happens in december. president obama is asking americans to drive safely and not consume too much alcohol this labor day weekend. boy, he really is just like hitler, isn't he? if you happen to be planning a barbecue and you live here in l.a. look out because there's an 80% chance you'll be soaked by one of the huge water bombing planes that are flying. these wildfires are still burning. as a safety precaution, our governor, arnold schwarzenegger is saying if you must barbecue and he would prefer you didn't, please do it in your swimming pool. [ laughter ] i happen to be pretty handy with the grill. for those of you who aren't,
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where ever you live, here's a tip. if your grill is very dirty and you don't have would have been the long brushes with the wire bristles on the end, order a pizza. they're delicious. [ laughter ] more than two months after he died, michael jackson was laid to rest yesterday at forest lawn cemetery in glendale, not far from here. the jackson family showed up almost 90 minutes late for the ceremony. i think the project runway was on and they didn't want to miss the end. liz taylor, 77 years old, waited two hours for them in the heat. it was some guest list, liz taylor, al sharpton, cory feldman, macaulay culkin. this is the family as they arrived. of course, a few elephant friends of michael's. monkeys and walking bears. another one of the mourners was former baseball player barry bond whose past steroid use came in handy for a change. he was able to do all the pal
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-- to do the pall bearing all by himself. appantly, the jackson family decided to buy 12 burial plots ongside him for themselves. how that is going to work and who is going to be buried where was not make clear until joe jackson was on cnn detailing his plans. >> we've got a few reasons for the cemetery. number one, clambake. we dig up the ground and put a hunk of clams inside and set them on fire and then throw them away because i don't like no damn clams. number two, i'm using one of the holes to store my beanie baby collection. and number 14, hey, guys gotta go to the bathroom somewhere. and buy my new record. and okay, time is up. now to you and you and you. >> well, he looks a little bit like a pumpkin.
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singer chris brown is following -- he did an interview with larry king with one in "people" magazine in which he says he's angry with oprah. he told people that he is upset that oprah rched out to his ex-girlfriend rihanna but not him after he assaulted rihanna before the grammy awards. this is a quote. i swear he said, i commend oprah on being like this is a problem, but it's a slap in my face. [ laughter ] no, a slap in the face is what you did to a 110 pound girl. what oprah did is not put you on television. so he's done. by the way, u don't screw with oprah. you screw up with oprah, you end up as a sausage in a deep-dish pizza at gino's east. college football kicked off last night and without -- and not without controversy. a player punched a player from the other team in the face. >> still a lot of animosity on the field. not between teams, but between teammates.
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>> it all started with blunt right there, basically ejected for next week. >> legarrette blunt nailing byron house right on the chin. >> i don't know. i know it's not okay to hit people, but it kind of seemed like the other player i don't want to say had it coming, but after you see he's mad, you don't poke him and you don't get in his face. at least i don't because i don't like to get hit by other people. he is suspended for the whole season, he is a senior and won't play college football again. he called a press conference today. i don't know about the suspension. a year seems stiff to me. a young kid, it was the heat of the battle and he was fairly apologetic. >> it will never happen again. i will never resort to violence on that level. i apologize to boise state. i apologize to byron. i apologize to my parents in advance for what i'm about to do to them.
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for nami me legarrette, it's such a ridiculous name that i'm stuck with. naming me legarrette makes me want to punch people in their face. it's not funny! >> you see, that's another strike. he does have a point. and the good news, he was immediately drafted by the philadelphia eagles. [ laughter ] it was a tough month of august for president obama. he's now planning to restart his healthcare bill with an address to congress on wednesday. white house advisers say that the president will make several key points. first, that if we do nothing, healthcare costs will spiral out of control. second, there's consensus on most of the issues and third, they say the swine flu is going to kill all of us anyway, , so ---- whahas the e big g al? one ofof the oblelems that e e presidenent s run inintotos lae e nunumber of myths h hasas plalanned, there stuff all over t the ierernet. we ought t wewe'd let the true a and w what is aututely ly let't t started d re.this i is .
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obama wawantnttoto create at didies.ecicide w l liviveses o now,hais true.e. obama hahas a plaan n for a pan thatat wl consist of o oprahah, sisimomon n cowellll and michae amerericanans over a a 65 5 ande ifif they y live o or all l righgh ththe nextxt item,ma'seaealth pl calls f fordatory invontntary orn donati. that is true. yeah. under his plan, postal workers will be given tranquilizer guns and along their route they'll randomly se bait -- sedate people who are home during the day and then their organs will be harvested for celebrities. so i'm glad we're clearing this up. the next one, black people will get dibs on prescription drugs that is true. seems like the least we can do after cancelling "moesha". right? all right. what's next here? obama's plan will fund a nationwide chain of jiffy abort abortion clinics.
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that is false. they have not come up with a name for the clinics and in fact, they're thinking of calling it tgi aborties. we don't know, we don't know anything and that's probably better, right? thank you. [ applause ] all right. friday night. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's this week in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] >> at the top of the hour, the southern california man gets his [ bleep ] bitten off. at a protest for healthcare reform. >> somehow my [ bleep ] ended up in his mouth and my [ bleep ] ended up on the ground. >> i handed out breakfast to the firefighters and went around as they came back from battling the fires to [ bleep ] them. >> celebrity moms and their [ bleep ] are next. >> tell me who you're [ bleep ].
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>> oh, i'm [ bleep ] a middle eastern designer. >> remember when i was a little boy [ bleep ] michael jackson? >> yeah, because i [ bleep ] michael. >> is that a will call window? >> yeah, that's right. we'll call you. don't call us. >> stop [ bleep ] around. >> name something that daddy might do if he saw mommy [ bleep ] santa claus? >> cry. >> show me cry. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, we have a good show for you tonight. oprah's anointed interior designer nate berkus is here. from boston tonight, we have music from maxwell. we will be right back with gerard butler, so stick around. new blackberry, huh ?
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oh, pressure on. careful!! [ ass clatters ] what are you two doing? he's trying to beat my record. 61 dishes, and a garlic press. oh, that's too full! those will never get clean. they got clean when i broke the record. a fork. really? never gonna happen! [ chuckles ] sorry, buddy. so close. [ female announcer ] cascade actionpacs are four times concentrated and packed with cleaning ingredients to get even the fullest loads clean the first time. cascade. consider it clean.
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♪ hi, we're back. on the show tonight, very excited, the man who decorates oprah herself. you can see him thursday on oprah's 24th season kickoff party, interior designer nate berkus is here. [ cheers and applause ] new album, went straight to s number one, called "black summer's night". from the samsung at&t summer krush concert series, maxwell is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] next week, jennifer connelly, nick cannon, kathy griffin, jeffrey ross, rumor willis and rod blagojevich will be here. we'll have music from boys like girls, brendon benson and try to tune in for that. because it's pointless otherwise. all right. time for our first guest.
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like the invisible tape and the people who beamed people up in "star trek", you know him from "the ugly truth" and he's trapped in a video game fighting for his life in the new movie "gamer". please welcome gerard butler. [ cheers and applause ] what's happening? thank you for coming. good to see you. >> you too. >> not that i know the country, but where exactly in scotland are you from? >> i'm from -- it's called glasgow, which is not the capitol of scoand. can i say something? one, you have party going on back there. hello to everybody in the greenroom. i never -- i'm walking in and it was like a club. then i run into this girl who i haven't seen since i was 17
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years old from glasgow. >> is that right? >> yeah. christy over there. >> did anything go on between the two of you? >> yeah, i think so. [ laughter ] >> she's scottish, she's a woman, of course. >> is it true that you run into a beautiful woman and can't remember if you made sweet love to them or not? because i will say that's quite different from my personal experiences. i know all their social security numbers. [ laughter ] >> no, that is true. >> that is true, wow. congratulations. >> i did once remember. >> you did? >> no, i'm joking. that's not true. >> were you an actor in scotland? >> no. >> you were not? >> i trained as a lawyer in scotland. >> you went to law school? >> i did, yeah. >> wow. did you graduate law school? >> i did. >> wow. >> i went to law school. i graduated, i did an honor's law degree and then a diploma in legal practice and then i tried -- i trained as a lawyer for two years. >> how did you wind up here? >> that's a very good question. but -- well, i did come over -- i always had an attraction to america.
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i had -- >> and we to you. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> i just won't stop talking -- you can keep going. >> beautiful. beautiful. >> i just had always -- i had a big thing about coming over to america and i actually came -- i took a year out after my honors, my honors part of the law degree. i came out and i was in a work exchange program. and i was supposed to work for this environmental company and i didn't turn up for the first two weeks because i got to venice beach and i thought, this is great, i don't want to work. then i went and the office was closed down, and i didn't know where they went. and so my friends got a job in a travelling carnival and they came and picked me up. >> wow. >> and took me and i worked in this travelling carnival. >> are these scottish friends? >> yeah. that i went to university with. >> so you were a carney? >> i was a carney. yeah. >> wow.
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>> then we travelled around after the -- >> by the way, your parents must have been delighted that their son graduated law school and turned up as a carney in the united states. [ laughter ] >> yeah. yeah. i did a lot of things in those years. that i'm not proud of. >> yeah. >> but yeah. >> what did you do as a carney, what was your job? did you run -- >> i worked in a thing called the wacky wire. >> the wacky wire. >> tell everyone what the wacky wire is. >> the wacky wire -- [ laughter ] >> what is the wacky wire? >> fascinating stuff. wacky wire is a wire that goes around like this and then there's a handle that you hold with the circular piece that you have to try and bring around. the wacky wire, it was like -- without touching it. >> without touching it. >> and then the buzzer doesn't go off and if you do that -- >> could you do it? were you good at it? >> no not really. i could literally not get
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anybody to play r first three days because i didn't know how to do it. i'd say come on over and play the wacky wire. what do you have to do? you have to get it done without touching it. then they'd go, you do it. i can't. or i'd try. well, we're not doing it. and i go, i don't blame you. then i practiced and finally i got it and then i was taking money off of 2 or 4-year-olds. >> did you make a lot of money? >> $2,000 or $3,000. which is a lot of money. >> in what period of time did you make $2,000 or $3,000? like at the night? >> no, no, it was about a week's worth. because you get a 25%. we all walked away with our arms full of wads of cash. >> wow. >> you know the kind of dreams that you have -- >> i still do have those dreams. yeah. >> money falling all over you. unfortunately it was dollar bills. so not quite -- >> but still that's good.
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so you'd go around and pay everything in ones? >> yeah. yeah. >> classy. >> you know, we -- has anybody ever -- you know the soup dragons? the band? >> yeah. yeah. >> well, when i was at university the soup dragons were out, and when i got to america suddenly they had a song. ♪ i'm free to do what i want >> yep. >> we knew the song, but no one knew what they looked like, so we told everyone that we were the soup dragons. because we had long hair and i -- and one had dreadlocks and i had hair down to here. i was doing my awful jim morrison impersonation. we told everyone we're the soup dragons. we were getting -- in san francisco and everywhere, and bakersfield and you name it. they shouldn't have been -- they were letting us in clubs. please let us into the clubs in bakersfield. this was mostly in sanrancisco and then we'd get drinks for free. whenever we had to pay, there were a bunch of us, it's $65.
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you'd go, one, two, three, four. [ laughter ] here's a couple for yourself. >> i think we have a picture of the soup dragons. yeah. that's what -- that's the soup dragons. [ laughter ] you couldn't possibly be a soup dragon. >> i know. which one am i? i think i'm the indian one. >> well gerard, we'll take a break and when we come back, we have a wacky wire backstage and you'll demonstrate for us. who knows, maybe you can may a few thousand dollars. "gamers" is in theaters now. we'll be right back. ( conversation ) garth, you're up. hold on, i'm at capitalone.com picking a photo... for my credit card. here's one from my prom. oh, what memories. how 'bout one from our golf outing? ( shouting )
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[ cheers and applause ] gerard butler in the new movie "gamers". you play -- what do you play in "gamers"? i know you're like a video game character, but you're a real person. >> i'm a real person set in the near future where humans can be controlled within the game. so you've got to basically where -- we're convicts and on death row, but we have a choice to go into the game where we're controlled by at-home players and it's taken on a global dimension. i mean, everyone wants to watch it. like halo or call of duty. >> right. >> but with real human -- human avatars. >> a cool idea. you had two directors for the movie. is that a good thing? >> it is if you want to play pranks. but i mean, they're two -- i have to say, mark and brian, they're insane. i mean -- [ applause ]
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yeah, they deserve a cheer because they're pretty amazing. they're crazy. they get in amongst the explosions and hang on to the back of the trucks. they'll go for it. >> so there's two in case one of them dies. i've gotcha. [ laughter ] what do you mean by pranking the two of them? >> well, oh, i'm go -- i'm telling too many things tonight. but i -- a week into the movie it was going great. i got the rest of the stunt guys and i said, let's write a letter to the guys. i said, you guys are awesome. you're great to work with. we're having a blast. we sent them six krispy kreme doughnuts each. so we sent one to each and they came out eating the dohnuts. they're like, thank you, that's awesome. thank you. so then -- here it comes. [ laughter ] so then the next day we order more krispy kreme doughnuts. and we -- we put them between
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our bum and took photographs of our bums with krispy kreme doughnuts in them. we print the photographs and we send them to the directors. [ laughter ] >> so they -- they -- >> they come over -- what the! oh! [ laughter ] >> i'm not sure that you're telling the truth. i mean, did you really -- did you really do it the second day or you just said, oh, my god, they'll be pissed we better be sure to tell them we didn't do this? >> no, no. by the way, i wish, but you should try sticking one of these doughnuts in your bum. they kind of melt and they fall apart. >> they're very light. but that is not how the doughnut trick is supposed to go. there's a reason there's a hole in the doughnut. [ laughter ] i don't know how you do it in scotland, but here wmake use of the hole. >> i tried that, but it kept falling off. [ laughter ] i was -- i was feeling very
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inferior. >> well, now is your time to feel superior because we have the wacky wire here. [ cheers and applause ] or at least as close as we could find to it, i think. so tell us -- now, the idea here is -- >> [ bleep ]. >> i'll try it first, i guess. can you tell me -- is there a trick to it or something? >> the one i had, i'm going make -- i'm going to make my excuses already. it was a different shape. i would say for this one, breathe steady, don't be nervous even though i'm close to you. >> i'll put a dime it in. i takes dimes. okay. the idea -- >> take it out. take it out. yeah, there you go. nice and easy. wow. >> i didn't even get past the first one. >> you did that deliberately. >> no, i didn't. no. >> okay. >> so we need another dime? this thing's a ripoff.
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[ laughter ] that was some game for a dime. >> you didn't actually i even make it to -- >> i noticed that. i got overconfident because you told me i was doing good. >> that's why i did it. okay. okay. when i did the wacky wire i didn't have to do it on television. >> yeah. >> just imagine you have a doughnut up your -- [ laughter ] >> wow. >> going to be a long show. >> make your way down. >> i would speak but i can't. [ laughter ] >> what's going on with you and jennifer aniston? [ laughter ] >> that was a low blow. >> you paused, that means you're
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dating. [ laughter ] >> i'm not dating so far. >> you are good at this. the wacky wire easier? >> the wacky wire? yeah. it was easier than this. oh! >> that was pretty good though. gerard butler, everybody. "gamers" in theaters now. we'll be right back with nate berkus. ♪ bicycle, what are we waiting for? the flowers are blooming. the air is sweet. and zyrtec® starts... relieving my allergies... 2 hours faster than claritin®. my worst symptoms feel better, indoors and outdoors. with zyrtec®, the fastest... 24-hour allergy medicine, i promise not to wait as long to go for our ride. zyrtec® works fast,
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it's all part of why the jetta is the top-selling german engineered sedan in america. ♪ hi, there, we're back. still to come on the show, maxwell. our next guest has one of the most important jobs in the world -- oprah winfrey's interior designer. [ laughter ] you can see him in action thursday on oprah's 24th season kickoff party. please welcome nate berkus. [ cheers and applause ] what's happening? how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> i'm really good >> i know you flew in from west virginia today. >> i did. >> you were shooting something for oprah?
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were you shooting a mountain lion for oprah? >> yeah. i was. i'm a trapper. >> is it true you can't tell us what you were shooting for oprah? >> no, i can't, actually. >> why? >> yeah. i could be killed. >> what kind of surprise could there be in west virginia? >> that's what i said when they said i had to be in west virginia. no, it's actually part of the big new season. so i can't reveal it. >> have you discovered a new kind of linoleum? >> yeah, i have. it's going to be in all your homes. >> mining there? >> i'm doing that to the audience. how you feel about give aways so everyone has a new linoleum. while we here -- >> by the way, we're not known for our give aways here. >> i know. i'm happy i don't have to carry the two cent bulbs back. >> oprah would never give something like that. >> i know, we give cars. [ laughter ] >> you know what? it's symbolically i think it fits quite nicely. ve away cars, we give away foam rubber. >> yeah.
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a question of budget. >> what is the plan for the big 24th season premiere of the show? >> it's going to be really cool. we are closing down michigan avenue in chicago, and we have the black eyed peas. they're doing outhe song for this season. >> oh, really? >> yeah. wow. we haven't heard enough of them on the radio. >> yeah, we were wondering if anyone needed to get a few more songs. >> are they making boom boom pow into oprah or something? >> yeah. my whatever. no, i'm kidding. my humps, we're redoing my humps no it's black eyed peas, it's actually jennifer hudson and we have chris angel. so -- >> he's singing? >> yes. yeah. he's magically -- >> delicious. >> amazing. [ laughter ] >> he's amazing. >> this is a big street party, but do you go to private parties in oprah's home? >> yeah. >> you do? >> sure. >> what is that experience like? is it like heaven? >> yeah. actually. i never really put those things together, jimmy.
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>> i mean, really, it sous like it's unbelievable. >> it is. oprah is very gracious so when she entertains she entertains very brutefully. you can tell she's always thinking about her guests and how they'll feel at every level of the event. >> maybe too much really like you know? because it seems like she gives away necklaces and that sort of thing when you go to dinner at her house. >> yeah, i haven't been given a necklace, no. >> what kind of prizes has she given you like party favors? is there a pinata full of faberge eggs or something? >> yeah, definitely. there's -- well, we had that, you know? it just depends. pin the tail on the -- >> on stedman? >> yeah. on stedman, he's such a sport. if you really think about it. >> yeah -- >> no, they're beautiful parties. >> i bet they are. >> why haven't you come to any of the parties? >> you're going to find this unbelievable. i have not been invited. >> really? >> yeah. i don't know if she's got the wrong address.
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>> no -- >> i wasn't even invited to the legend's ball. can you believe that? well, do you get a plus one -- i would like to go, believe me. >> okay. you could be my plus one. >> i would like to be your plus one. i will do that. i'll work catering. i don't care. i want to see what's going on in there. >> really? do you know what i'm worried about? don't start clapping yet. i'm worried about this and i'd absolutely come, but i'm worried that oprah will throw you out of her world. >> you are? >> as a result of bringing me to her house. >> you think so? >> yeah. >> i want to tell you up-front. i just want to warn you so -- >> a disclaimer. >> so you don't feel bad when all of a sudden, instead of oprah's interior designer, you're my interior designer. >> would that be like out of guilt you'd let me tinker around in your kitchen? >> you and guillermo, you could do both of our places. >> guillermo. >> i want to warn you in advance. >> terrific. >> now, last time you were here, i gave you a gift. >> i did. >> a beautiful gift i thought.
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>> unbievable. much better than anything oprah has ever given me from a party. >> thank you. something painted by the late anna nicole smith painted a picture of me. i gave that picture to you and you actually put it up in your home. >> of course. >> which is amazing to me. and really i'm honored to see that you have -- >> it takes me about 15 minutes to light those candles before anybody comes over. but it's well worth it. >> is that a fire hazard, is the picture safe there? >> yeah, it's all right, it's all right. it's sort of beeswax. it looks like they're closer than they are. >> this is not the only place you have had it in your home. >> no. that's actually in my closet, i have a dresser in there. and just things that are speal to me that i like to look at when i get dressed in the morning. so that's -- that's where that is. >> should i be insulted by this? [ laughter ] >> you know, i have two dogs as well. and henry and emma. and, you know, they're sort of littler dogs.
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i tried it and in a couple of spots in the house is what i'm trying to say here the problem is that the dogs refused to eat so i had to move that. >> really? >> yeah. >> they found it unappetizing? >> i think it was the big head as you walk to the food bowl. there was something about it that they were -- and they started losing weight. >> you don't want that. >> just a because of -- >> is this where i ended up? this is the final spot? >> that is actually, yes. that's in the shower and it took me a long time to find the waterproof glass in west virginia. >> i'll tell you what. >> a secret discovery. >> i have never beeno honored. thank you so much. nate berkus, everybody. oprah's 24th season kicks off. i'll see you at oprah's party. >> yes. you got it. >> we'll be right back with maxwell. ( rock music playing )
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