that means it's time now for tonight's "closing argument." some of the nation's highest paid bankers will have their pay regulated by the federal reserve. finally, many will say. the fed says huge pay days for bankers fuelled risky financial behavior on wall street during the boom or the bubble, rather. so it will set new rules for bankers who achieve long term performance in investments, not

short term risky bets. throughout the history though, wall street has lived and occasionally died on risk taking that's what drives the game on the streets, so tonight we ask you, should the federal reserve set pay standards for private industry? tell us what you think by going to the abcnews.com or the twitter page. that's our report for tonight. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. have a great weekend. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm here to tell you about a funny new show called "modern family" that premieres next week as part of the new abc comedy wednesday. that's right. the show is getting rave reviews for the unique take on the modern family, hence the title. "entertainment weekly" calls it the funniest new comedy of the fall. in this scene, ed o'neill and

sofia vergara are a couple and their son professed his love to the photo kiosk girl at the mall. >> she has a boyfriend. >> oh, i'm sorry. she gave me a no --art. >> no, it was great, right? right? >> well, you'll know better next time. come on. >> you know, hold on a second, stop the clip. it's silly to show the clip when the stars are in the building, in fact, in the greenroom. there's ed o'neill and sofia vergara right now. [ cheers and applause ] instead of showing the clip, maybe you guys could act the scene out for us instead? huh? >> well, we would love to, jimmy, but the thing is that you didn't invite the actor that plays my son. so -- >> he's at home in bed. >> oh, that's okay no problem at all. guillermo, you get in there.

[ laughter ] >> hi, guillermo. >> once again, ladies and gentlemen, here with the scene from abc's new show "modern family," ed o'neill, sofia vergara and guillermo. >> she has a girlfriend. >> i'm so sorry. >> gave her my heart. she gave me a picture. that was pretty stupid. >> no, it was brave. right? >> well, you know better for next time. >> how about a pretzel? >> there you go. [ cheers and applause ] see? even better alive. >> watch the premiere of "modern family" next wednesday, september 23 at 9/8 central, followed by the premiere of

"cougar town". all partof the new abc comedy wednesday. >> that's right. we'll be back with ed and sofia, music from shakira and christian slater.

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>> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- christian slater. from "modern family," ed o'neill. sofia vergara. music from shakira. with cleto and the cletones. and now, in all likelihood, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

captions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi, everyone. hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. what a night to be here in hollywood. we've got belgians here. we've got swingers from scottsdale in the audience. [ laughter ] we have a fun show planned tonight. plan to stay till the end of the program because shakira is here and we're going to compare abs. [ cheers and applause ] shakira, if you don't know, is a singer. she as new album coming out next month called "she wolf". have you seen the video for this thing [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ there's a she wohl inform the

closet, better let her out so she can breathe ♪ >> yeah there's a she wolf in the closet. and there's some controversy going on right now because we have our very own latin superstar here at the show. his name is guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] and guillermo is -- guillermo -- you're very angry at shakira, right? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> why are you angry at her? >> because she ripped me off. [ laughter ] >> now, here's what he's referring to. guillermo says that she ripped him off -- the video. what year did your video come out, guillermo? >> last year. >> last year, okay. this is a video that guillermo made last year for a song he wrote. ♪ ♪ sos he's in disguise

sos he's in disguise ♪ ♪ all i want [ laughter ] ♪ snowe ♪ ♪ that's a wolf right in your closet ♪ ♪ open up and set him free i can work it close ♪ ♪ let me out so i can breathe [ cheers and applause ] >> i think we just found the mythical chucacabra. if you've been watching the show this week, you know we have been selling former governor rod blagojevich's seat. this is the seat he sat in last week. he got in a lot of trouble for allegedly trying to sell the seat that was open in the senate in illinois, so last week we put

his seat up on illinois. the auction ended last night. we got a winning bid of $10,300. the guy who won now says he doesn't want to pay for it. he's a deadbeat bidder. [ laughter ] and he's going to jail. wouldn't it be funny if he went to jail and blagojevich didn't? [ laughter ] just fyi, mike, his user name on ebay, around here we don't take kindly to deadbeats and when i give negative feedback, it's negative. noun of this frowny faced web nonsense. right now, serena williams is on the way to your house to shove a tennis ball down your throat. so enjoy your weekend, oh, yes, i know where you live and starting monday get ready for a lifetime of pain. and consider yourself unfriended. [ laughter ]

can you unfriend people on ebay? right now, in washington, d.c., which is not too far from silver spring, maryland, they're holding something called the values voters summit. this is a summit, a gathering of conservative activists at the omni hotel. they talk about values in politics and then at night they sneak hookers up to their hotel rooms. but msnbc sent a reporter, covered the event live. let's say he wasn't welcomed with open arms. >> it has been sort of an inclusive agenda of a way to bring in more conservatives. let's talk about some of the -- >> the fact that you were interrupting and being disruptive. trying to listen. >> would you mind -- >> ma'am, we're trying to -- >> we're on live with msnbc. please don't touch the microphone. tell us what your thought is. >> our thought is you're rude to do this in front of the public. >> even though we're a credentialed press brought here

to tell your story and bring it out to the world? >> i'm linda, i paid to come here to listen, not to be disrupted. >> okay. thank you very much. >> well, brian, it sounds like -- >> let's -- >> by the way, i'd like to take her to the movies with me when people are on the cell phones. and lest you think the value voters were singling out the liberal networks, things didn't go well for fox network as well. >> it is becoming a must attend event for the conservative hopefuls. this man is trying to get in and trying to prevent us from continuing our work. excuse me, we're showing your event on television. if y want to interrupt that, that's what you're doing. i'm doing my job. i'm doing my job. you're interrupting my work right now. you're causing a disturbance. >> did you pay to come here? >> rick, i guess what is best is to avoid a further confrontation, we no longer

broadcast from here. [ laughter ] >> well, the good news is their makeup sex was incredible. [ laughter ] so we actually sent a correspondent there ourselves. we sent our cousin sal to the summit. he ran into a similar problem. >> jimmy, i'm here at the conservative political action conference in washington where the main objection seems to be -- [ laughter ] nothing more to report here, jimmy. back to you. [ cheers and applause ] >> on monday, the ninth season premiere of "dancing with the stars" will take place on abc. this is great. four contestants have been already injured. to put it in perspective. we have a show called "wipe out" on which contestants have to get past a machine that punches them in the face and no one gets hurt. "dancing with the stars," like

vietnam. oddsmakers have maya a singer and aaron carter and tom delay is the long shot at 30-1. if you bet a dollar on tom delay to win, you will lose a dollar. every year before the season starts i pick one contestant to win. then i bet on it. this started -- i think in season four. i predicted that ian ziering would win. he did not. the next season i picked helio castroneves and he did win. in season six i chose kristi yamaguchi and i was right again on that one. season seven i picked lance bass. he did not win, but he did come in third, which is pretty good. and then last season i went with an unknown, giles marini and he did not win, but came in second. i picked him before i even seen him dance. why am i proud of this? anyway, who do i believe will

win season nine of "dancing with the stars"? on which celebrity will i wager $1,000 cash? >> hold it, hold it. [ laughter ] >> donny osmond, that's right! donny osmond will win "dancing with the stars." and more importantly, i will win $7,000. i hope. i figure he'll get 10,000 votes from his family alone. congratulations and don't screw this up for me. the president of iran, an all around good guy, mahmoud our members only jacket sat down with ann curry. recently iran has been hinting they might want to hold talks with the united states so ann asked him what exactly is it that he wants?

>> you were taspeaking to us at critical moment and iran is talking about the most significant talks between iran and the united states in nearly 30 years. what do you want from the united states? above all else. >> i want an iphone. i want a date with megan fox. [ laughter ] i want a cameo on "gossip girl" and i want to make out with you, while al roker eats a cupcake. give me your tongue now, please. >> well, that's -- you know what? that's how they are. by the way, anyone else notice he looks like one of the hundredsters? there's been a lot of coverage of this jon and kate lately. i think there's a minimum of nine stories a day about them. even cnn is on setted with jon and kate. this -- is obsessed with jon and

kate. >> is jon gosselin turning into one of the most despised men in america? tonight, the stunning around the world reaction to the other kate. >> around the world reaction? i don't know anyone who cares about jon and kate here. there's -- who cares about them around the world? >> tonight, the stunning around the world reaction to the other kate. [ speaking a foreign language ] >> really is a small world after all. isn't it? [ cheers and applause ] and another important gosselin news, kate says she's shooting a pilot for a new tv show. supposedly she's doing something like the "the view" a show that

looks at every day life from working moms. since when does working on a show equate to working or every day? this one looks pretty good. >> 16 desperate single women, one available guy. kate gosselin presents who wants to be the underaged slut who has sex with my husband above the garage while he's supposed to be watching the kids? [ cheers and applause ] >> all right, friday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things what they need it or not. this is this week in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] >> -- projected her beloved little dog has been [ bleep ] by a kay owe. >>i i know kanye, i was doing an interview on the red carpet. he [ bleep ] me from behind. >> he cursed me all the way home

in front of his parents. then he [ bleep ] on me. [ laughter ] >> i suggest though the night before oprah, you [ bleep ] your hose. >> read someone to [ bleep ] you, please. >> we are going to see now two missouri high school students [ bleep ] a third student on the way to school and all the while most of the other riders just laugh and point. >> if you haven't been in a [ bleep ] yet this morning, you better stay tuned. >> don't look at me. hey, what's the best thing that i see? [ bleep ]. >> i love [ bleep ]. >> try to find biparsan healthcare reform on capitol hill is like trying to find children t[ bleep ] unicorns. >> what are you doing? >> hey, we have a good show tonight. music from shakira. and we'll be right back with christian slater.

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♪ hi, there, we are back. with us tonight from the new show "modern family," premieres wednesday on abc, oh ed o'neill and sofia vergara will join us. it's banner night for beautiful colombian women, this is her new album "she wolf" that comes out in october, next month. shakira is with us from the pontiac garage outdoor stage. next week, join us with david duchovny, courtney cox, rob lowe, and t the first castoff fm "dancing with the stars." which would not be donny osmond, i can personally guarantee e th. our first guest folled he

eyebrow into acting and since then he's appeared in 50 movies, each of which'll name at the end of the show. he'll star tuesday in e new investigate drama "the forgotten" here. pleaseelcome christian slater. [ cheers and applause ] well, good to have you. i know you came straight from the set of the show and then you have to go back. >> go back and continue to solve the crime. >> do you think you'll solve the crime? >> i think tonight is the night besolve it. >> how does it work with the show, do you solve a crime at the end of each show? >> it is really about a group of volunteers who identify the innocent in order to capture the guilty. there's 40,000 john and jane does across the country, and these people, these volunteers get together to put the pieces

of the puzzle together and give the people that don't have a name give them back their names. >> so does your character have another job on the side? >> well, i used to be a detective for the chicago police department. >> right. >> but i -- my daughter was kidnapped when she was about 8. it has been two years, and in other word to get the closure, i haven't been able to get the closure myself about that particular situation. so what i do is i get involved in the particular cases and try and give that closure to other people. >> i gotcha. all right. but you do or -- i mean -- >> i'm on disability. >> you're on disability. >> yeah. >> it's a jeremy bruckheimer show. i heard it's not the usual way of getting involved in the show. >> i guess jerry plays hockey, on some team and so does my agent. so they were playing on a game and then i guess in the locker room jerry was saying that he was trying to put this show together.

and needed somebody to play this character. >> was he naked at this time? >> that i don't -- i don't have all of the particular details. >> that's important. >> i know. i know. >> that's always the first question you ask. >> that's right. were you naked? but that's how it happened. and my agent just said, well, hey, you know -- >> it pays to have a canadian agent i guess. >> he's very, very good. a hockey fan. >> and happy birthday, by the way. i know you just had a 40th. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> what did you do to celebrate your birthday? >> um, well, this year was interesting. everything coincided with the show. and a buddy of mine had put together this whole event really and invited everybody from the cast and crews 265 people and we all went to the dodger game. so it sort of worked as an opportunity to say thank you to them for all of their hard work and everything they had done and then at the same time, i got to throw out the first pitch.

>> oh, you did? jenna elfman was here, she's throwing out the first pitch tomorrow. >> it's nerve-racking. when everybody got their tickets, they got the tickets two woks before we went to the game. so they were like, don't chunk it. so i had all that pressure. >> that would have been terrific to go to work every day and all -- >> and to have the ball bounce. >> how did it go? >> i made it. >> oh, thank goodness. >> i made it. [ cheers and applause ] >> you did a lot of stuff this summer it sounds like. you brought us a couple of photographs. >> yeah. >> this is -- tell us what you're doing here. >> well, i went on this uso tour, and that is on the bridge of the uss dwight d. eisenhower. >> and you did -- >> i sang to the troops. i was in the process of thank all of them. i made a beautiful speech to all of the guys but i had forgotten

to press -- it wasn't going to work. but yeah -- >> did you remake the same speech or was it too embarrassing? >> it was good. another take. basically. so yeah. >> did another take. that worked out. now, i'm guessing this is not the persian gulf. >> it's not the persian gulf, no. that's cabo. i caught this 150 pound marlin. >> wow. >> yeah. yeah. >> that's a beauty. [ applause ] >> what's this? >> that's the derado. >> looks like you're taking out the recycling. >> right. >> it's nice because my son was there as well. >> was he eaten by one of the fish? >> that's not my son. >> not your son. >> he's 10. >> 10 years old. >> how many kids have you got? >> i've got two. >> well, you were acting for like three years by the time -- >> that's what i tell my kids all the time. i was working. yeah. he's 10. she's 8. and yeah, i was working from the

time i was 9. >> your first job was on a soap opera, right? >> right. i did a thing on "ryan's hope" for a little while and "one life to live". >> you're in luck, because tonight we were able to find you at 7 years old. >> no way. >> way. >> all right, way. oh, my gosh. >> about a week. maybe a week and a half. >> oh, man, i'll be out of she! >> listen, buddy, the longer you stay off the skateboard, the longer your chances are to live for. >> oh, man. in the middle of the sidewalk and then bam. >> bam is right. listen, i want you to stay off of that leg and see you again in a week. >> okay. >> see ya. >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm guessing the crew didn't win an emmy for lighting that year. >> no, but i remember doing that. the whole crew -- actually, how

i got the job my mother cast that soap opera. they needed a kid. >> you were a kid. >> i was a kid, i felt the mold. everybody applauded after i was done. >> then you were hooked. much like the 150 pound marlin. >> that's right. they pulled me right in. >> what happened, did you immediately quit school or did you keep going to regular school? >> quit school and joined the circus and started to move around, it was great, went from state to state. >> i guess that went well, because here you are. >> in front of you guys. >> we have a clip from your -- we have a clip from the new show. >> that's cool. >> again, jerry bruckheimer show. anything we need to know to set this up? >> well, i think in this particular clip i'm doing some running and chasing the potential criminal. >> all right. so get ready for some running and some chasing. christian slater in "the forgotten."

>> i just wanted to talk. now everybody is angry. >> freeze! >> hey! >> you're not a cop? >> no but i am. >> always good to have a cop around. christian slater, everybody. we'll be right back with ed o'neill and sofia vergara. show and tell...

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♪ hi, there, we're back. one of our next two guests is a stunningly beautiful woman from columbia and the other is one of america's favorite tv dads and they play newlyweds in the very funny "modern family." >> come on, coach, take that kid out. >> why take him out? how about i take you out?

>> honey, honey. >> how about you spend time worrying about your son? >> i have been wanting to tell her off for the past few weeks. hi, i'm josh. >> hi. >> oh, this must be your dad. >> no, i'm her husband. don't be fooled by the -- >> "modern family" premieres soon. please welcome ed o'neill and sofia vergara. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, welcome. great to have you guys here. >> thank you. >> i'm excited about the show. i think everyone who has seen it is excited about it. ed, i would imagine you were

particularly exced when you found out your tv wife would be sofia. >> well, it was a tough decision. but i remember i looked at the photo of her and i said, she looks like jessica rabbit, you know? like -- >> that's a good thing. >> like a marilyn monroe. i'll take the job. >> and growing up in colombia was "married with children" on there? >> of course. he was very famous. i'm so excited when they told me it was him. of course we used to see him in colombia. but he had this like sexy latin, hispanic voice. >> perfect spanish. >> a dubbed over voice. >> yeah. he sounded more like antonio banderas. >> is that right? that's a very strange -- and there's an age difference between the two of you. >> no. >> just a little bit. >> but do you date older men in real life?

>> well, not yet, but -- [ laughter ] now i'm thinking it can be kind of interesting. >> that's right? you're learning an actual lesson. >> you're supposed to learn new things all the time. i usually like the younger, a lot younger. >> like how old? >> like a lot younger. >> like 11? >> no. i mean, at least ten years older than myself. because it's embarrassing. >> well, that's not a long younger. ten years younger than yourself. you' not dating your son's friends? >> not yet. no. no. i know -- [ laughter ] >> a slumber party of 150 boys. zooming to the house. >> yeah. >> no, no. >> no, no. okay, very good. another odd thing i think is that -- well, your son is 18 years old. ed, your kids are -- how old? 10 and 3. >> 10 and 3 years old. so it's like -- it's like you're the exact opposite. [ cheers and applause ]

and, yeah, what did you do for your son's 18th birthday? >> well, it's gonna be tomorrow, actually. today -- his birthday is tomorrow. we're going to celebrate tomorrow in vegas. >> you're taking your son to vegas? >> yeah, i'm going to vegas for a fight and i'm going to the fight with friends. he's going to go with his girlfriend to see some shows. >> oh, they are? that's what they're telling you anyway. yeah. make sure he doesn't get into the chips. be careful. >> he's very responsible. i as long as i don't know what he's doing, it's okay. >> ed, do you take the same approach with your children? >> no, i do not take my kids to vegas. no. mojave desert or something. >> to threaten them? >> yeah. we'll camp out. >> ed, you played college football. >> i did. >> does he talk about college football? >> yes, i have heard.

yeah. he does look like a college football player, too. >> well, i was. >> he does. >> you were -- >> i played -- i played two different colleges. i played at ohio u, and i played for youngstown state university where i'm from. i'm from youngstown. and then i had a shot with the pittsburgh steelers in '69. i was an outside line backer for about two minutes. >> wow. that's pretty impressive though. that's all right. who was your coach at that time? >> well, it's interesting. i'll tell you a funny story abe youngstown -- about youngstown state university. youngstown has been in the last several years great football. jim tressel was the coach. i don't know if you remember, jim tressel -- >> tell her, football -- >> it's -- he's not talking soccer. >> i know you call something else football, but it's not

that. >> but this guy brought them to four or five championships but before tressel i played for dwight dike beady. his wife invited the penalty flag. they were the only coach that youngstown had for 50 years. my senior year we were playing pensacola naval station and roger staubach was the quarterback. he was doing his six-year active duty, he had graduated the naval academy, heisman trophy and he's on his away to win the super bowls. so we're playing. as is customary, they do the scouting report. and the team, you know, sits down and they tell you what to expect at game time, a week away. we'll practice that week. so this coach, coach beady, who was 70 at the time, he sa, gentlemen, we have our hands full this week. he said a fellow by the name of

roger starbuck, a fine football player in the country, maybe the best of all time. now what we have to do with this fellow, the truth is we can't win. [ laughter ] not going to win the game. [ laughter ] but i believe we can give him a gosh good darn run for their money out there. [ laughter ] why are we here? and he was right. >> and he was right? >> what was the score? >> it was like 45-38, believe it or not. >> really? >> the game was like five hours long. they threw every play. like tag football. >> you know, maybe he figured we'll not win this one, maybe you'll trust me next time. you didn't play any college football? >> do i look like i played any football? >> no, you don't. >> okay. >> well, i hope the show does great. we are all counting on it. >> thank you. >> it is a very funny show.

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well, she has a new cd

nextonth..e wolf" coming out heherethsongf e sasame nameme, shaka. chcheers a a apppplalaus] lelego!n ososshin d disisguisis sos,he's in n uiuisese ♪ ♪ there's she wolf in disguee ♪ domomescacatetedd girl ththats you u ask e e ♪ darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy ♪ ♪ the moon's awake now with eyes wide open ♪ ♪ my body's craving so feed the hungry ♪ ♪ i've been devoting myself to

you monday to monday and friday to friday ♪ ♪ not getting enough retribution or decent incentives to keep me at it ♪ ♪ i'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna go to my closet and get me a lover and tell you all about it ♪ ♪here's a she wolf in the closet ♪ ♪ open up and set it free there's a she wolf in the closet ♪ ♪ let it out so it can breathe sitting across a bar staring right at her prey ♪ ♪ it's going well so far she's gonna get her way ♪ ♪ nocturnal creatures are not so prudent ♪ ♪ the moon's my teacher and i'm her student ♪ ♪ to locate the single men i got on me a special radar ♪ ♪ and the fire department hotline in case i get in trouble

later ♪ ♪ not looking for cute little dee videos or rich city guys i just want to enjoy ♪ ♪ by having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy ♪ ♪ there's a she wolf in the closet ♪ ♪ open up and set it free there's a she wolf in the closet ♪ ♪ let it out so it can breathe sos, she's in disguise ♪ ♪ sos, she's in disguise there's a she wolf in disguise ♪ ♪ coming out coming out coming out ♪ ♪ sos, she's in disguise sos, she's in disguise ♪ ♪ there's a she wolf in disguise coming out coming out coming out ♪

♪ there's a she wolf in the closet, let it out so it can breathe ♪ [ cheers and applause ] meet the volkswagen jetta. it gets an epa estimated 32 miles per gallon, and was named an iihs top safety pick.

all for just $179 a month. and like all new volkswagens, it comes with 3 years or 36,000 miles of no-charge scheduled carefree maintenance. it's a part of why the jetta is the top-selling german engineered sedan in america.

i'll tell you something, i enjoyed your performance. the robot. like it when you do i do. i love it. i move like a robot, it's been said many times. your new album is called "she wolf" which comes out next month. why is it called she wolf? >> you know, i think it -- it was just a visceral reaction to something. i feel more like a woman now, more like a she wolf. >> really? >> yeah, more in touch with my animal instincts and my animalistic aspects. i don't know. i think each one of us hides this part that we -- that we don't share with the rest of the world. >> i have an animal in me too. it's a hippopotamus. [ laughter ] all right. well, i want to thank