>> time now for tonight's "closing argument" on saturday president obama greeted with a very deep bow. they were arguing that the president was not heeding state protocol which generally decreed that presidents don't bow. we ask you, was president obama wrong to bow to the emperor or should it be seen as courtesy? tell us what you think on the "nightline" page or the "nightline" twitter page. and finally, sarah palin sits down with barbara walters

to discuss her political future. that's on "good morning america" and right here on "nightline." that's all for us tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel and this is ustar the revolutionary new entertainment that brings big budget hollywood effects into your home. it's a lot of fun and easy to use. for instance, you want to be dom corleone in the godfather, you position yourself between the ustar webcam and the screen that comes with it like so. you hit the "okay" button and after a couple of easy steps you'll be ready to shoot like i did earlier. look at this. >> don corleone, i am honored

and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding on the day of your daughter's wedding. and i hope that the child be a masculine child. >> thank you, lukco, my most valued friend. >> i'm going to leave you now. >> you can do that easily at home. upload your performance to ustar.com, share it with the whole world. guillermo, want to come over for an ustar party later? >> i cannot refuse, jimmy. >> visit yoostar.com. mint chocolate m&m's premiums...

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- ted danson. newlyweds khloe and lamar odom. and music from chickenfoot. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, right on schedule, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program, you're very nice. i just want to mention, if anyone is here tonight for a flu shot, we ran out, so -- i accidentally drank them, so sorry. you know, they say one of the best ways to avoid the flu, swine or otherwise, is to stay away from large groups of people. so, we're screwed, i guess. also, more than a half a million fans gathered in new york city this morning for the yankees parade. that had to be just a petri dish of germs, right? yankees won the world series on wednesday night. tonight they had a ticker tape parade, and the hard core yankee fans turned out in mass. >> all of these people to see their champions. the parade of champions right here. the paper's coming down. the fans are screaming. it is an exciting day to be a

yankee fan right here in new york city. more players come out, we'll be right there for you. >> jimmy: well, you know -- i'm a mets fan. that's how the parade looks to me. [ cheers and applause ] they were -- they were celebrating today in japan, too, because the mvp of the series is one of their own, hideki matsui, who it turns out has a very interesting hobby outside of the game. >> "time" magazine of asia says matsui is famous for an adult film collection that numbers 55,000 x-rated videos. japanese recorders say matsui openly trades videos with them, and keeps some of the videos in a barrel near his locker for all to enjoy. >> jimmy: barrel? barrel is for pickles and monkeys, it's not for porn. he has 55,000 videos, his number is 55. that can't be a coincidence, can

it? our guitar player is from japan. can that be a coincidence? >> maybe not. >> jimmy: maybe not, no. there you go. and he's japanese. he knows. the yankees were awarded the key to the city today by mayor mike bloomberg. new york's blind governor, the governor of new york is blind. his name is david patterson. he was there to provide us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> it's touching to actually watch it. >> jimmy: well, that's -- [ laughter ] his dog told him. hey, we've got some show for you tonight. ted danson and chickenfoot are here. chickenfoot is an all-star band fronted by sammy hagar. and also tonight, lamar odom and his new bride khloe kardashian. they got married. they were dating for a month, and they got married. they say that's a smart thing to

do. three weeks is plenty before. especially in hollywood where things are really built to last. we happened to have a pumpkin in the building on the day they tied the knot, so i asked the prop department to decorate that pumpkin, and we painted their faces on it. call it the love pumpkin. we're going to see which lasts longer, their marriage or that pumpkin. quick showf hands, who thinks the marriage? all right, and who thinks the pumpkin? [ cheers and applause ] this is a very cynical group we have assembled. i don't know, pumpkins are known to last four, five months sometimes, so -- either way, it will be fun to explain this to them in person, and -- maybe i'll have dicky do it. lamar odom is 6'10". dicky is going to take the fall for this one. big celebration in pittsburgh yesterday.

a statue of the late mister rogers was unveiled, very close to where he did his show. mister rogers' neighborhood. king friday ordered that the statue be erected. i love mister rogers. that was, so me, when i was kid, i guess what heidi and spencer are to kids today. this statue, though, is a little bit creepy looking. they made the nicest man in the world look like a mud monster. even the unveiling ceremony was a little bit scary. they pulled sheet off this thing, like, to reveal it, and look at this. >> three, two, one. >> friends and family unveiled a sculpture of from fred rogers. made of bronze, 700 pounds, it's the main attraction on the north shore exhibit called a tribute to children. >> jimmy: several onlookers were eaten. some very bad economic news. the labor department announced

that umployment reached a 26-year high. 10.2% up from 8.9% in september. economists blame most of it on jon and kate and the plus eight losing their tv show. that's ten jobs right there. remember we used to blame robots for taking our jobs from us? they're not anymore. yeah? here's another swine flu thing. kellogg's, who makes the cereal, announced because of the attention being given to h1n1, they'll be dropping the word "immunity" from the front of boxes of cocoa krispies. you can see there, the box now says helps support your child's immunity, which, by the way, if you are relying on that to keep your kids healthy -- i think the untry would be better off if you didn't have kids in the first place. anyway, they -- [ cheers and applause ] they have changed the box and now instead of immunity, the box says, cures the munchies.

new mother of twins. sara jessica parker said some interesting things in the upcoming issue of "elle." she loves the smell of diapers, especially when they are wet and warm. that's gross, right? i mean, that's -- shloves the smell so much she wants everyone to be able to smell them all the time. >> warm. wet. diaper. warm, wet diaper. the new fragrance from sarah jessica parker. warm, wet diaper. bad baby. >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: perfect gift. [ cheers and applause ] this is -- this is pretty -- the professional bull rider finals

are going on in las vegas right now. last weekend, a bull rider named mike lee, you know, the rapper soulja boy, they named one of the bulls after soulja boy. watch this. >> he's good. he's styling. he could go all the way. he's got it. getting some extra points there for working the outside leg, and mike lee continues -- >> jimmy: soulja just supermanned that ho right there. [ applause ] right? george clooney has a new movie out this weekend, "the men who stare at goats." based on a true story of a secret telepathy program the u.s. military ran. it's getting good reviews but

unfortunately, it happens to come out the same weekend as another movie with a very similar theme. >> they had little beards. he looked at them. for a long time. "the man who stares at goatees." now playing. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that looks like a good one, too. see what we did there is we added a couple of es. nicely done, guillermo, by the way. you're like jorge clooney. right uncle frank? >> you and ted danson are the best guys on television. >> jimmy: you just say that because he looks like you. all right. [ laughter ]

uncle frank does his own show in his head while i'm doing this one. it's time now for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things if they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> on "sportscenter," the phillies still [ bleep ] the yankees and each other. >> i think the yankees should win. i think they will. if the yankees do not win this series -- >> girardi? >> [ bleep ] him. >> now, a few minutes with andy rooney. >> i [ bleep ] maybe 25 or 30 times a year. >> i'm a pretty quiet, private person and it's hard for me to, like, [ bleep ] with others, but i think i managed to do that. >> len is officially [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> hello. >> you ever try to get your [ bleep ] to stay up and they keep falling down? i have crafted, like, you cut a wire hanger and you fashion it down the middle of the [ bleep ].

>> my father [ bleep ] my mother and my father [ bleep ] me, okay? and that's -- you don't do that. >> vancouver is already bracing for the first wave of visitors. >> it's 100 days. very real now. i'm very [ bleep ] up and excited. >> and dad, i know you're at home [ bleep ] with mom. this one is for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wonderful. we have good show tonight. khloe kardashian and lamar odom are here. we have music from chickenfoot. and we'll be right back with ted danson, so hang out. to new subway melts. when we melt cheese & meat together in a subway sub, you've gotta create a whole new field... of flavor-metrics just to explain it. the flavor in any of these tremendously tasty melts, like the ooh-la-la-licious new chicken cordon bleu melt,

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>> jimmy: hi there. joining us tonight, maybe the

most talked about laker-reality show newlyweds ever. they tied the knot after dating for a month, khloe and lamar odom are here. [ cheers and applause ] uncle frank, in your opinion, how long should a man and woman wait before they get married? >> about 13 months. >> jimmy: 13 months? so, a year and one month. >> right. >> jimmy: so, one month then is less than they should wait. >> yeah. definitely. >> jimmy: all right, very good. well, we'll see how it works out. later on music from a no kidding-around rock and roll supergroup. sammy hagar, from van halen, bassist michael anthony, guitar legend joe satriani, and red hot chili pepper chad smith on drums with music from their self titled debut album "chickenfoot." chickenfoot is here on the bud light golden wheat stage. chris o'donnell, the sports guy bill simmons, super dave osborne, diddy,

switchfoot, amerie, los lonely boys, and huey lewis and the news. on my birthday. all right, our first guest tonight is one of the best actors television has ever given us. he does double duty sunday nights on hbo on both "curb your enthusiasm" and his very funny new show that follows it, "bored to death." watch the season finale this sunday night at 9:30 and please say hello to ted danson. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. you look great. thanks for coming. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how many shows are you on now? >> jimmy: three. >> one for real. and when larry beckons, i'm on "curb."

>> jimmy: when he beckons. and larry david is, i would assume you guys are friends in real life. seems like he's got a lot of his friends on the show. >> yeah, we are. and i hate to say this because i love trying to, you know, say insulting things about him. he's a genius. this year's show -- >> jimmy: it's been very funny. >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: but is he -- i don't know him. and -- is he like -- is he at all like that horrible person he portrays on the show? >> no. he's a scary person like he portrays on the show. you go out to dinner with him, you never know what you're going to get. >> jimmy: that seems like the worst environment to be in with him. dinner. >> yeah. >> jimmy: bad things happen. >> he had new rule this summer. he stayed in our guest house for a couple of summers. >> jimmy: you guys are serious. a couple of summers? >> he was getting divorced. we said, you know, mary, my wife said, stay with us. we thought maybe a week, you

know. two months. mary called him larrthe lodger. but anyway. then he left this summer and didn't come and we were heartbroken. >> jimmy: i bet. >> his new rule is, i don't come over to anybody's house for dinner. no dinners in houses. i'll go to a restaurant. i get trapped, i have to stay, i have to be polite at your house. and i did go to a dinner, i'm name dropping, woody harrelson was there, and i sat down, had my drink, and he finished his meal and left. yeah. >> jimmy: so he doesn't want to be impolite so he just leaves during the drink. >> this is larry. >> jimmy: i can see why you spend a lot of time with him. >> he keeps you on your toes. >> jimmy: yeah, living in your house. your wife must be very understanding. >> she adores him. >> jimmy: he's a character.

you play ted danson on the show. which, you're perfect for, by the way. >> almost. i almost didn't get it. it was very close. >> jimmy: that would have been -- i would have been outraged. who were you auditioning against for that role? i heard lavar burton? >> yes, yes. lavar, lamar. >> jimmy: i like the new show, "bored to death." [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, i'm impressed because you got jason schwartzman as the star. how do they get you to be a supporting actor on any show, really? >> the writing is so good. i wanted to be in it no matter what. it was really, really good. >> jimmy: your character is a great character on the show. you play this kind of elegant magazine editor in new york. well, u know. but -- you also drink a lot and smoke a lot of drugs with the guys. >> right.

>> jimmy: and i particularly like it when you are, um, high on the show. >> me, too. me, too. i don't do that stuff anymore. but i'll tell you something. you get a bowl, you put ginseng or whatever that fake stuff is, you smoke it, you put it in, you take a big deep breath, you hold it, your brain goes, we're back. it's -- that's how you solve the drug problem. seriously, take a deep breath, hold it in, and let it out, say something absolutely stupid and i swear -- >> jimmy: you're right there. >> you're right there. >> jimmy: wow. a great tip for kids. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys -- how long have you been married? >> 14 years. >> jimmy: 14 years. [ cheers and applause ] and -- how long were you engaged or dating -- how long did you know eacother before you -- >> knew each other for two years. >> jimmy: two years is a good --

>> new i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life from pretty much day one. but i was afraid i could mess up any marriage like that, having been married twice before. so i think -- >> jimmy: lamar and khloe did not have the same fear. >> no. >> jimmy: no. they decided we should do this now before we get tired of each other. >> good on them. >> jimmy: do you think there's a chance -- >> you know, we'll be here 30 years -- maybe you won't, but -- >> jimmy: not a chance. >> you know, they'll get the last laugh. >> jimmy: you think so? >> why not? are they still together? >> jimmy: last we checked, yeah, they're still together. what is the secret to a long relationship? do you have -- >> marry my wife. >> jimmy: marry your wife. well, yeah. that's going to be -- it's going to make things uncomfortable in the bedroom. >> that's true. >> jimmy: if we all marry your wife, you know?

okay, so, you don't really have any advice for them, other than -- >> no, just -- >> jimmy: you guys -- >> tell the little tiny embarrassing truths to each other. make sure you tell, the littlest -- that doesn't matter, i don't -- make sure you tell her that one. >> jimmy: is there one you're thinking of that you told her that -- >> i'm sorry, i can't hear you. look at that -- >> jimmy: but don't tell them on television. that's the key, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys are friends with the clintons. to me, i can't imagine hanging out with bill and hillary clinton. >> it took awhile for me, too. i still get a silly grin on my face, because they are amazing people. my wife, so you don't think we're just social climbers with presidents. my wife became famous right about the same time bill became governor, first term governor in arkansas, they are both from arkansas, and so they raised kids together, they were family friends.

>> jimmy: old pals? >> yeah. he gave her away at our wedding, because my wife's father had died, so, really, really family friends. >> jimmy: really close friends. so, they come over to your house? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: is there a whole thing when they come over? the house checked out and security and all that? >> it's less than it was when he was president, but yeah, secret service time. >> jimmy: do they go through your stuff? >> no, but they mess up your telephone system like crazy. because they have to be able to get, especially when he was president. they come in with the telephone system, and, you know, for years after, you're going, hello, hello? >> jimmy: they set up a special hotline -- >> notice how i did that, that's from the '40s. hell >> jimmy: one ringy dingy. operator, connect me to benson hurst five. wow that's something else. so, they make sure, in case something terrible happens -- >> you can always --

>> jimmy: hotline to the president, in case he doesn't have cell service, i guess. do you smoke ginsengith them? >> no, no. >> jimmy: and if you did, you wouldn't tell us anyway, would you? >> that's right. >> jimmy: that's what friends do. >> i would tell you, and we haven't. >> jimmy: okay, good. well, we have a clip of the show. for those who haven't seen it -- this is -- >> i thought you were going to say, we have a clip of you smoking -- >> jimmy: yes, we have -- we have a clip of you and president clinton lighting m-80s with a joint. from this fourth of july, and -- no. we don't. we have a clip of the television show. which i think, though it's the season finale on hbo, you can catch up. do you need to set this up? >> oh, not me. i'm the editor, like you say, of this glossy magazine. and oliver platt plays the

editor of "gq." we challenge each other to the boxing match that turns out to be an exhibition match between magazines to raise money but we hate each other. >> jimmy: here we go. a cliff from "bored to death." >> rethink the whole fight thing between two magazines is a bit ridiculous. >> yes but it's good publicity in today's publishing market. and george's magazine can really use the ink. >> i agree. our whole fight is inane. i'm doing this because richard challenged me, and as a gentleman, i accepted. >> richard challenged you because you wrote, among other things that he had the penis of a hermaphrodite. >> that was sloppy journalism. i want to apologize to anyone who may have been insulted by unflattering comparison. >> jimmy: that's a good show. the season finale of "bored to death," sunday nights on hbo. ted danson, everybody. we'll be right back with khloe

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>> jimmy: hi there.

we're back. our next guests are newlyweds. he is a professional basketball player who has a clothing company on the side. she is a boutique owner who has a reality show on the side. you can see them tie the knot through the miracle of videotape on "keeping up with the kardashians: the wedding" on e! this sunday night at 8:00. please welcome khloe and lamar odom. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. well, first of all, congralations on your recent nuptials. >> thank you. where is that damn pumpkin? >> jimmy: let me tell you something. >> that's not a good picture, bro. >> jimmy: how long were you guys engaged? how long did you know each other before you actually got married? >> 30 days. >> jimmy: why not wait two months? why one?

>> when you know, you know. >> jimmy: when you know, you know. >> you know. you have to go with it, right? >> jimmy: dicky said, when you guys got married, he was skeptical. he said, i bet this pumpkin will outlast that wedding. >> with a name like dicky, i can't blame that judgment. >> dicky and jimmy? >> jimmy: mostly just dicky. he drew the faces on there. i said, dicky, how cynical of you and what a horrible thing to say. and i said, i pray to god every night that you are wrong, at your marriage will outlast. will -- >> i'm sure you said that. >> jimmy: will your marriage outlast the pumpkin? pumpkins last a long time, by the way. they can go on sometimes for years. >> what if we smash the pumpkin? >> jimmy: then the marriage will be over. >> then we outlived -- >> jimmy: you have to be careful. there can be curses involved with pumpkins.

if you smash the pumpkin, something terrible could happen. >> we're going to leave it there. we're going to go on forever. >> jimmy: you are? you think you're in it for the long haul? you can understand that if you guys heard about, one of your sisters or something, you'd be like, you've known this guy for a month. why are you getting married? >> i agree. i -- i was an outsider looking in, i'd be like, come on, that's a little crazy. but i think going through this myself, i definitely learned to try to not judge outsider situations. because, i mean, i can't explain how i feel. i can't explain how i know. i know this is the love of my life and i know i'm going to be with him forever. >> jimmy: there you go. that's nice. and it does work out. i know you've taken lamar's last i don't know -- i thought you were going with kardashiodom. >> i'm going to change mine. the lakers wouldn't let me.

>> jimmy: too long for the jersey. have to go around the back and everything. are you allowed to be on the show anymore? is it -- >> well, i can, because my middle name is kardashian now. i remined my middle name and bud kardashian as my middle name. there's still a kardashian in there. >> jimmy: i got you. will you be on the reality show next season? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> i don'tnow. you know, the basketball -- >> khloe, will he be on the reality show? >> the basketball season is commanding, so, i'm not sure. >> you have to tune in to find out. >> jimmy: i see. and is coach jackson, has he weighed in on his thoughts on whether you should be on a reality show or not? >> as long as i focus like i did in the playoffs, everything is good. >> jimmy: if you win every time, everything is good. i'm going to ask you some questions because you're newlyweds, questions about each other.

like the newlywed game. >> come on. >> jimmy: you've been together not that long, i want to see -- >> we weren't warned about this game. >> jimmy: here we go. let's see. khloe, who did the lakers beat to win the nba championship this year? >> i really don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know? you don't talk about this at home? >> orlando magic. >> jimmy: yes, that is right. you got one. >> i don't watch basketball. >> jimmy: well, you're married to a basketball player. >> now i watch it. >> jimmy: for what sport did khloe's step father win an olympic gold medal? >> track and field, the decathlon? >> jimmy: that is absolutely right. khloe, what position does lamar play? >> forward. >> jimmy: that is right. absolutely right. lamar, what was khloe's middle name before it changed to kardashian? >> alexandra. >> he whispered it to me first.

>> jimmy: i saw that, yeah, okay. >> my mouth did not move. >> jimmy: so you guys know it. oh, what other teams did lamar playor? >> clippers and the heat. >> jimmy: that is right. exactly right. and finally, another question, would you have married him if he was a clipper? >> no. >> jimmy: no. this is l.a., that's not the way things go. i want to ask about this. this was taken as you came out of the wedding, and khloe, you appear already to be texting. what are you doing in this picture? >> i was hiding my face from the paparazzi. so i was looking down. i pretend -- >> jimmy: why were you hiding? >> i was wasted. i was just really drunk after the wedding. that's why he's carrying me. >> we had a great time. >> jimmy: you were riding drunk. >> i wasn't driving. >> jimmy: who came to the

wedding? did the lakers come? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who came? >> kobe bryant. >> jimmy: kobe. >> luke walton. jordan farmar. >> jimmy: coach jackson? >> yeah. >> jimmy: ryan seacrest was there. >> baby face sung. >> jimmy: and did you call and say, hey, listen, we're getting married, le up the cameras. we have to make a tv show out of this. >> actually, no. i was filming season four of the reality show and during that time i said, you know, we decided we're going to get married in nine days. i had to stop. i was like, i'm doing a wedding in nine days, so film me, like, i can't focus on the show right now and it turned into, they were -- i was so away from the family they kind of had to follow me and stop and then they asked, ryan asked later, why don't we film it for your reasons and see if you're comfortable putting a special together. and then after we saw it we agreed to doing the special. >> jimmy: i see. did you film the honeymoon

night? >> we only had one night. >> the next day i had training camp. >> media day on the 29th and i started production of -- >> jimmy: did you videotape that? did you videape that? >> no. our personal use only. >> do you want to see it? you would, you little freak. >> jimmy: i would watch that, yes, i would. the answer is yes. >> are those our kids? >> look at this. you had kids. oh, my g. how beautiful. >> so many different colors. >> jimmy: there's eight, just like jon and kate. >> i don't think any of them are black and white, though. >> mixture. >> jimmy: it's a variety. >> like the united nations. >> jimmy: i have something for you since you just got married. did you get gifts from people? >> yeah, but i'm waiting on yours. >> jimmy: his and hers towels, so -- enjoy. there we go. khloe and lamar odom, everybody.

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