for the last 100 years, the one disaster that has not hit

haiti is a catastrophic earthquake. now, it has suffered every imaginable tragedy, from overwhelming poverty to hurricanes and now the very physical collapse of the country. with such poor infa structure, it's difficult to know if it is ever find its feet again. but if the wider community of the world has any say in the matter, then this could be a new start. the number of donations point to an international community reaching out to help. let us hope that the haitian government will grasp the hand of friendship and build a better place for its people. for all of us at abc news, good night. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with tonight's "big giant question." do you roll your toilet paper over or under? as this debate rages across the country, we turn to parking lot security guard guillermo, hello, guillermo. and, a guy i met on the street

named yehya. hello, yehya. >> hi, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: yehya, we begin with you. >> i object, your honor. >> jimmy: this is not a court of law, guillermo. >> okay. >> jimmy: yehya, do you roll over or under. >> under. >> jimmy: under. why? >> because i love the kids. easy for the kids, better. it's everything i want to make happy for the kids. >> jimmy: i didn't understand one word of that but i agree. guillermo, your take. roll over or under? >> over. >> jimmy: why? >> my wife is the boss, have to listen to her. >> that is stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> you're stupid. >> jimmy: guys, guys, guys. we're all stupid. when we come back, we'll hear from secretary of state hillary clinton. >> dicky: the great debate is on. over or under? how do you roll, america? go to cottonellerollpoll.com to

let your voice be heard. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with dax shepard, joan rirs and chef paul bartolotta. [ pen scratches ] thanks to my invention, ou can go under...or over. [ male announcer ] tell us how you roll at cottonellerollpoll.com. - for the better. - we really listen to you. and that helps us recommend a home l ln option that's perfect for your needs. we'll close your loan at your own house if you want. you don't have to come to us. we'll come to you. my cell phone's always on. if you need me, i'm hereor you. every client. every time. - no exceptions. - no excuses. that's what we're all about. - and that's why i love... - i love... i love being a home loan expert. ♪

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- from "when in rome," dax shepard. joan rivers. and chef paul bartolotta. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmelive" and now, and furthermore, here's jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy, thank you for the clapping and all the noise and all that. hey, if anyone seeps a man with a giant chin lurking outside, let me know. he may be here to kill me. have you been following the talk show follies, as ty are? here's what happened. when oprah decided to quit doing her show, it was like they pulled the bottom block out of a giant talk show jenga pile and everything came tumbling down. so, now jay leno is going from 10:00 to "the tonight show" and counanimous o'brien is going to "the view," i think. don't quote me othat. i feel bad for conan, though.

especially because, you know, the same thing happened to me when rosie o'donnell took over "the man show." it was -- so -- [ applause ] what i'm saying is i can identify with how he feels. obviously, this has been a public relations nightmare for nbc and now that jay leno is moving back to late night, they are going to have five hours of programming that they have to fill the minute the olympics are over, which is not a lot of time. the olympics are over in six weeks. today, they unveiled the new lineup. >> get ready for an all new lineup on nbc at 10:00. on monday, it's "guess what" with fred willard. >> hey, guess what? >> what? >> that's what! >> tuesday, if you love diet coke, you won't want to miss a minute of fred willard drinks a diet coke. then, on wednesday, look out, here comes cup check.

>> cup check! another no. i love wednesdays. excuse me, miss? >> thursday, get your rest on "the nap kron kms." >> lady gaga. huh? >> and fday, the all new trauma, "fred's anatomy." >> hi, i'm dr. fred. check out my uvula. see it bounce? >> it's willard all week every week at 10:00 on nbc. >> jimmy: all right, so, they're in good shape. they're going to be just fine. [ applause ] there's not one show there i wouldn't watch religiously. one year ago on january 15th, plane landed in the hud sob river after being viciously attacked by geese. captain sully sullenberger was the pilot. he made the emergency landing that saved the lives of everyone on board.

and yet what has he done for us lately? nothing. he's like the chumbawumba of people that safely land planes. they had a reunion today in new york, and to thank him, this time, they let sully land on kate hudson, which i thought was nice. [ applause ] oh, thank you. you probably are aware of this, but osama bin laden is still in hinding. he's not been photographed for several years now, so this week, the fbi published computer generated age progression mug shots to show what they think he looks like now. here's what he looks like now. if you see him -- kill him immediately. he's a danger to all of us. another episode of "jersey shore" aired lt night on mtv.

what a show this is. last night, the kids took a road trip to atlantic city, and try to follow me on this. they went to a club and jwoww wanted the situation to take her back to the hotel, but he wanted to stay with a girl he pulled a robbery on vinny for, and that did not make jwoww happy. >> the robbery was committed. >> whoa. >> what are you doing? >> all of a sudden, jenny starts coming out me, throwing out the fake snails, coming at you hard. i'm just like, damn. chill out. >> i got it. >> get off me. >> why you are doing that? >> get off me. >> get off me. >> he kicked me out of the club. >> i kicked you -- >> get off me. >> oh! >> see what i'm saying? >> jimmy: every week on the show, someone gets hit. mvt has more boxing than hbo now days. fortunately, the situation's abs

were unharmed. they are okay. it's fascinating stuff. the lives of these young people are so rich and maybe my favorite "jersey shorer" is snooki. she bops around like a zhu zhu pet. some of the guys in the house played a prank of her that made her very, very upset. >> i wake up around 1:00 and i smell pickles. who put that there? that's, like, really gross. i knew it was paulie and mike. i'm not mad that they did it, but i'm mad that they wasted, like, twpickles. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what about the hour we wasted watching mike and paulie waste two pickles?

one person whose opinion about "jersey shore" i wanted to get is my aunt chippy. i thought she might be interested in the goings on of these young people. i would imagine their lives were like hers was when she was their age. we sat her down to watch it, and here is her review of this week's "jersey shore." >> let me tell you something, after watching this show, i changed my mind about abortion. i never believed in abortion, but if they're going to turn out like that, get it over with at the beginning. was that bad? [ applause ] >> jimmy: i knew she would like it, she just had to give it a chance. yesterday, lady gaga had -- why do i feel like an idiot -- oh, because it's lady gaga. had to cancel a show in indiana

because she had trouble breathing. trouble breathing. why would lady gaga have trouble breathing? could it possibly be -- her face is always covered with fabric? she recovered in time to do oprah's show today. one of her props during a dance was mace, you know, the metal ball on the chain. she brought this weapon to oprah, and this, i think, is -- this is the opposite of giving away a car. ♪ i don't want to be friends ♪ i don't want to be friends ♪ i don't want to be friends ♪ ♪ bad romance >> jimmy: e, that's the woman tiger woods should mary. a woman who can't break a windshield. rit? [ applause ] tiger woods hasn't been seen in public since his thanksgiving

night crash in florida. there have been a lot of records he's in some sort of rehab for sex addiction. one said he was in arizona, one said he was in mississippi. i don't know. all i know is, wherever he is, he can't possibly be happy. and if he is in the clinic in mississippi, that's probably the best place. this clinic, they're so good, you can see, their slogan, we won't just make you healthy, we'll make you gay. you know, a lot of people laugh at the idea of male sex addiction. like me, for instance. but it's a serious problem. it can day bill state people. one of the warning signs is chronic masturbation. some researches say it may affect as many as 1 in 1 teenage boys. most people are insensitive to that. in fact, there are some companies, and this bothers me, that even encourage it in order to sell more of their products. >> attention chronic has tur bay or thes. >> hi, it's vince with shamwow.

you'll be saying wow ever time you use this towel. it's like a towel, it's like a sponge. >> jimmy: all right, well, you knoll -- the hair. many americans are pitching in to provide disaster relief to haiti. they had the terrible earthquake there. george clooney is organizing a tell though that is going to air on the major networks. and tila tequila is twittering about it. now, this is a real twitter from tila. she says "each disaster on earth is no longer mother nature, but it is all in the book leading to the world ending. humans have become evil an cruel. i am only one person who always has tried her best to make the world a better place, to stand up for people. i am god's angel sent down to watch." isn't that something? god sent this angel, tila tequila down in a string bah ki to bless us. those aren't fake boobs, they're

wing sacks. that's where she gets her wings. this is kind of interesting. for the first time in nine years, "sesame street" characters will appear in video games. the children's television workshop and warner brothers teamed up. the first release comes out next month. d i have no doubt kids are going to go nuts for this. >> hey, bert, let's get him! >> say hello to my -- >> hey -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's friday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is this week in unnecessary censorship.

>> because of injuries. over the years, as you saw my [ bleep ] became shorter and shorter. >> all right, holly, what's the song? >> you ain't woman enough to [ bleep ] my man. >> do you ever get tired of doing this? >> well, not exactly, because i like to just [ bleep ] myself up on stage. >> i was terrified. i was squeezing jake's [ bleep ] so hard it was bright red when we got off the ride. >> inland empire trial beginning for a former l.a. county assistant fire chief accused of pummelling a neighbor's [ bleep ]. >> have you met nancy pelosi? >> i [ bleep ] her once. >> if you have could [ bleep ] anybody in the would, who would it be? >> you and conan together. >> now, jonathan is going to tell you a statement able your prize, so, listen to what jonathan has to say. >> it will make you [ bleep ] like a man. >> i know some magic words that would be swell to say. [ bleep ] you. try it with me. >> [ bleep ] you. >> [ bleep ] you.

>> man, make you [ bleep ] like a man. you know what makes me [ bleep ] like a man? the big [ bleep ] of the day. >> jimmy: we've got some very funny people on the show today. joan rivers is here with us. chef paul bartolotta is with us, and we'll be right back with dax shepard, so hang out. ♪ ♪ ♪ when it comes to protecting

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>> jimmy: hire, we're back. >> jimmy: hi there, we're back. thank you, cleto. joining us tonight, one of america's longest serving funny people a a new member of the do not fly list, joan rivers is here. joan rivers got detained in costa rica for trying to smuggle cigars into the country and got in a lot of trouble. we'll talk to her about that. also tonight, a great chef at the win hotel in las vegas. we're going to make fish tonight

with chef paul bartolotta on the show. if you are at home and you have fish, make them along with us in e middle of the night. next week on the program, dennis quaid, dwayne johnson, ty per rell, the dad from "modern family." the bachelor will be here with us, as well. so, please join us, too. our first guest tonight is a delightful and irresponsible young man who is ascended from doing terrible things to famous people on "punk'd" to making movies along those same people. his new movie "when in rome" opens next friday. please say hello to dax shepard. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> i won the world's longest tie contest. i thought you'd want to see it. >> jimmy: it's skinny, too.

not just long but skinny. by the way, not -- >> geez louise. >> jimmy: you didn't tie it badly, but it's act chilly just too long. >> way too long. i think i have a lawsuit on my hands here. >> jimmy: do you have a skinny neck? >> well, i wouldn't call it skinny. average. >> jimmy: i think it's probably maybe a little above average. >> oh, okay, good. i thought you were saying my neck was too skinny. >> jimmy: big and tall things. you were on -- >> i'm 6'2". can you imagine in someone 5'8" was wearing this? >> if they got on an escalator, they would be killed. you know a lot about fashion because you are a male mod until your new movie. >> yeah, right. that's theirst thing you think of when you think of me. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> well, you know, people have been asking me, did you do research. i don't know how to get ahold of models, like, you know -- >> jimmy: it is -- >> so i didn't do any research. i went to the gym every day and

went straight to the tanning parlor and get a nice fake bake and a little spray. >> jimmy: really? >> and recently occurred to me that i could have done research at the jersey shore. i could have just -- >> jimmy: you could have. >> now those kids are popular and rightly so, they're amazing, i just want them to know that i've been jersey shoring it long before it was cool to jersey shore. i was plucking my five, you know, chest hairs and fake baking in '08. >> jimmy: well before the situation was displaying his abs. >> right. >> jimmy: and you were on what they call a diet for -- to prepare for that role. >> i was. in fact, when you remember, you and i went to lowry's stakehouse while i was on the diet. >> jimmy: i thought that was a good idea. a place for us to go. >> to kick off the diet. >> jimmy: they serve lean prime rib. >> yeah, lean. you guys were dipping sourdough bread in dip, and i was looking

for the leanest piece of prime rib. i ate three or four pounds of it. >> jimmy: you ate a lot. >> my training schedule require that i run later that night. >> jimmy: after the male? >> yes. i was almost killed, as you'll hear. so, i got home at midnight and i went for a jog, right? and, with a belly full of prime rib, it was like doing laps in a swimming pool with batter. there's a lot of coyotes by my house, and it's no big deal. you see them all the time. as you get close to them, they always run away. i'm jocking, and i see like three coyotes hanging out on a corner, like, smoking cigarettes and throwing apples at cars. >> jimmy: like they do. >> so, i see them, i think, no big deal, i'm closing in, and they're not going anywhere. and i'm getting really close, like, 50 feet away, d i thought, maybe i should run the other way. then, i think they'll bring me

down and kill me. so, i just stay the course, and as i pass them, they all went like this, like when dogs smell something, they went -- and i realize i was sweating prime rib. they were just waiting for my meaty aroma to pass by. when you're on an airplane and the fo cart goes by, and you think, where the hell is that thing going. >> jimmy: it was like a charlie commercial, and you were the beautiful model walking through. >> charlie. what a good product. >> jimmy: congratulations. i think we have a pick ture of u as a male model. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: so it paid off. >> well, as you can see. oh! boy. >> jimmy: is that one of them coyotes? are you still -- you are doing this anymore? >> oh, god no. the second my last shirt off scene finished, i went straight to bleaker street pizza in new york. i get there, and i look at the

takeout menu and your face is on the takeout menu -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> right, because i e-mailed you and i said, are you a part owner of bleaker street pizza. and it says, like, the greatest thing i've ever put in my mouth or something like that. >> jimmy: it's great pizza. >> you have no affiliation with them? >> i was on regis and kelly once. you should say something great about them, because maybe you will make -- >> i want to be on record that is the greatest slice of pizza i've ever put in my mouth. >> jimmy: you can't have the same quote as me. >> all right, all right. >> jimmy: here is what will happen if we have the same quote. they will put dax shepard and jimmy kimmel and it will look like we're a couple. >> just one quote and we both said it. >> jimmy: shared quote. we can go with that. >> blazing a n trail. >> jimmy: blazing all right. now -- the last -- >> forget like trying to get a

free porsche or something. let's get on the bleaker street pizza kick-back list. >> jimmy: last time you were here, you were about to become and serve as tom arnold's best man. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is a big deal, because tom arnold has bee married how many times? >> a dozen or so times. a baker's dozen. >> it was not very flattering to be asked to be number four. but you know, he's the greatest. he's one of my best friends. >> jimmy: he's a great guy. he is. >> he's the greatest thing i'ven put in my mouth. [ applause ] i -- i just love saying that now. >> jimmy: make sure we're not alongside each other on that one. >> get it tattooed. i was his best man -- >> jimmy: what are your responsibilities? >> well, they were minimal, lucki luckily. the one big, big thing was that i had to get him to the altar on time, which is a very complicated task for hip. so, i was very smart and i got him to the house where he is

getting married like two hours ahead of time. the sun was setting when they were going to say i do and there would be pictures. sun sets, no pictures, people are getting married in the dark. i get him there two hours early and seven minutes before we're supposed to go out there, i go, i'm going to look at my best man speech and i pull out paper and he goes, oh, buddy, you wrote your speech? and i go, yeah. and he goes, you printed it out. i have no -- i knew about this for three months. i didn't wake up this morning and find out. he goes, i have to work on my vows. and pulls out all these five by eight sheets of paper and starts chicken -- >> jimmy: are they blank? >> yeah. apparently someone told him that day he was getting married. he had not prepared anything. he is scribbling all these crazy notes everywhere. and i'm going, tom, we're losing the light. and he goes, okay, i'm ready. and i go, you're not ready. you have 12 stacks of paper. and now i'm just, you know, editing the whole thing. it turned out great, though.

>> jimmy: well, yeah. >> they're legally married. >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> he's best to wing it. >> jimmy: he has a million vows in him. the new movie is called "when the rome" and we established you are a male model in it. kr kristen bell is the star of the movie. what's the movie about? >> she get s hammered in the movie, and all wackos are chasing her around new york. i'm one of those. >> jimmy: who are the other wackos? you have danny day day veto. will arnett and -- >> jimmy: you. >> and me. and the star of the picture besides kristen is josh dumel. who is great. and gorgeous. >> jimmy: that goes without saying. you need to set up this clip? >> i don't think so. it pretty explan their.

>> jimmy: let's keep our fingers crossed. here's dax shepard in "when in rome." >> this place the greatest? you can get your work done, no one bothers you. food's great. low carb, high protein. really the only way to go when your work requires you to be shredded and dieseled out. oh, yeah, here, don't crane your neck. go ahead. feast your eyes. yes. seen that look before. you're intimidated because i'm a model. but i don't want you to be scared, okay? i'm a normal guy. i'm gail. like a gail force wind. i took on that name because it's the most powerful force in the natural world for shaping the earth. you can feel it. >> actually, i think that's water. >> this is crazy. i don't know if i should look at my own reflection of yoor you. that's how beautiful you are. >> jimmy: dax shepard, everybody. we'll be right back with joan rivers. applying lip balm over...

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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back with dax shepard. chef paul bartolotta is coming.

our next guest can be seen now on the show "fashion police" starting monday at 10:00 on the e channel. please welcome joan rivers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> how am i? >> jimmy: did you get -- you got on the plane here or did you have to take the greyhound? >> don't even start. >> jimmy: what happened to you? >> it was a nightmare. continental tried to make it up, today, sent me, dh was very sweet, a one-way ticket to haiti, and i said -- >> jimmy: that is nice. all right, so, they are trying. >> they're trying. my real name is rosenberg. don't tell mel gibson. so -- pick a finger.

so, anyhow, and i have an aka passport, and they just didn't get it. and they thought i was -- if i'm going to take a fake name, i'll pick michelle obama, you know, pick a name that -- mrs. george clooney. pick is name that is going to help you. they wouldn't let me on the plane. wouldn't let me on the plane. >> jimmy: didn't they recognize you and say -- >> it's costa rica. i don't cha-cha. so, they don't know me. it was -- i'm jewish. how many terrorists, i kept saying, order ahead after kosher meal? let's figure this out. i don't mean to turn my back on you. >> jimmy: only the most diabolical. >> the clever ones. >> jimmy: were you alone? >> totally alone. my daughter left an hour ahead. i had no money. a mother -- do you have any cash, take it. they wanted to do a cavity search. i was so excited. and then -- and the guy that did

it has called me twice. so, that's good. that's good. >> jimmy: some good has come out of it. >> keep thinking, how was she tipped for this. but it was a nightmare. horrible. >> jimmy: did you have to stay over there then? >> i had to stay over. the whole thing, truly, looking back now and it's been a week and it's funny now, because i'm home, god bless america, but i -- they put me up in a hotel and -- i mean, just -- a prostitute on her way out said, lousy clientele. it's like -- >> jimmy: bad place? >> instead of a mint, there was a fly swatter on the pillow. i mean, there were jokes that you go -- it was so -- it was a nightmare. >> jimmy: it must have been scary. have you taken steps to make sure this never happens again? >> yeah, i'll just never leave the country. >> jimmy: probably a good idea. >> i understand they have to search you, but you should

know -- there should be a -- there's a don't fly list, there should be a do fly list. certain people. >> jimmy: like who? >> gumbi. >> jimmy: i think he's dead, though. >> doesn't matter. paris hilton. she can't carry a bomb in her underwear, she doesn't wear it. there's certain -- use your heads. >> jimmy: you're right. there is -- there has to be some sort of common sense there. >> common sense. >> jimmy: everything is all right now, right? was it a fun vacation otherwise? >> fabulous. >> jimmy: you went with your grandson? >> twice a year. a friend of mine said, take your grandchildren away always for at least a week in the winter or the summer. >> jimmy: i like that. >> and so i take last summer, oh, god, i -- because i go where he wants to go. we went to a dude ranch. perfect for me. don't. horses -- you know, it's horses. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> horses and -- >> any cavity searches? >> no, worse.

you go on a ride and the horse urinates and it splashes up on you and you go -- is anyone a horseback rider here? and the tail goes up in front of you and you know what's coming there. and it's -- reminded me of my wedding night. it was just so -- what's going on? >> jimmy: now, you were on the e network for a long time. >> melissa and i started the red carpet >> jimmy: you left them. >> to go to another network. >> jimmy: you didn't like working there. >> no, i did not. >> jimmy: now you are back on e. >> going back. i'm dog the fashion police -- >> jimmy: what is that? >> that's the best part of it because you don't have to be looking at them when you tell them what's the matter. it's the next day, it's -- it's the day after and it's 10:00 at night and they'll say, so what did you think of so and so, so you don't figure you're hurting her by saying to her face, you look like an idiot. you can say what you want.

that makes a big difference. >>jimmy: and you can hammer them. >> and some of them don't look good. the celebry times get $20 million a picture, who cares, joanoesn't like your dress. but some of them, you just go, oh, my god. oh, my god. the -- especially -- you know what's sad? i'm so old now. it's the old women that try to look young. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and they come up to you and they say, would you believe i've got a groundup son, and you want to go, yes, absolutely! and don't stand in the direct light because you're scaring me. absolutely. >> jimmy: the show is called "the fashion police." a lot of arrests will be made. joan rivers, everybody. we'll be back with paul bartolotta. [ male announcer ] welcome to the now network. three skiers are trapped on a chairlift, each with one of sprint's best 3g phones. carl passes the time searching for apps on his samsung moment with google.

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>> jimmy: all right, we're back. dax shepard is here. our next guest is the greatest ch to come out of milwaukee since arnold from "happy days." he's received multiple aaa four-diamond readings. his great restaurant is in las vegas. please welcome chef paul bartolotta. now, paul, first of all, how do you run a -- your fish is fresh, a fresh -- >> it's still alive. >> jimmy: in the middle of the desert. it's a plate of alive things. >> yes, these are krus dfish. so, i import a ton and a fish every week from the mediterranean. >> jimmy: they don't live in

siegfried in roy's aquarium or anything like that? >> n but i do have a marine biologist. >> jimmy: really? >> she was in a zoo. she handles all my livestock. >> jimmy: she went to college to learn to kill fish? >> well, come on. these people are -- these little guys, they have names and they are waiting for the moment to sacrifice for our dining pleasure. >> dine into the afterlife. yes, yes. >> so, we're going to make three dishes. you're going to work. we're going to make three dishes very quick. here, we have an anchovy sauce. all kinds of herbs and garlic. stir that real quick. i, on the other hand, am -- >> jimmy: should i mash it? >> you were talking about what the young kids do, you need to get the right kind of motion. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> you need to stir it a little bit. >>. >> jimmy: hold on. i have to get my lap top.

>> for you, i want you to cut. >> this is already mixed already, i'm not doing anything here. >> could be worse. you could be cutting cherry tomatoes. put some greens on the plate. >> jimmy: all right. >> that's beautiful. fabulous. you can work for me. now put the fish in the pan. try not to burn anything. and i'm going to start my beautiful steamed clams. >> jimmy: okay. >> try not to cut your fingers. in half is fine, that's cool. a little bit of olive oil. you like butter? >> jimmy: i rub it all over my body every morning. should i turn this fish? >> you want to get them brown first. so let's see what we have here. leeks that we're sauteing. put some clams in here. >> jimmy: okay, nice. where do you get clams like that? >> in my restaurant. otherwise, a really good fishmonger. >> jimmy: what do you look for in a fish, when you go buy a fish? >> you want some wine? >> jimmy: we's famous for his

back wash. >> a little bit of chili in here. bay leaf. >> jimmy: tastes like you. >> tastes like me? that's nice. put the wine in here. >> oh, sure. >> can i draw you a bath when i'm done with this? >> anything you say. now, i need you. we have shrimp here. we're going to do a shrimp salad. go ahead. >> jimmy: more? >> you want to get drunk? let's see how this is doing. turn that over. not bad. nice and goldn't brown. that's not bad. >> jimmy: i didn't do anything. >> still cutting the tomatoes. >> enough of that. rip some of the basil and put it in there. >> great. >> and season it with salt and pepper. you have it right there. >> jimmy: dax is a male model. >> i saw that earlier. >> i can only look at this food. >> amazing. this is healthy. it's all proteins. put the shrimp in real quick. >> jimmy: is that alive right now?

>> no, they were dead awhile ago. >> okay. that looks pretty good. u want to turn them on all sides. these are three perfect things. if you don't have this from sicily, i get it. you can use tuna. that sauce is great on chicken. going to be upn the website? >> jimmy: yes, on the website. we will put the recipe for this stuff. >> do you know that he's like, a really a closet -- he's very -- >> jimmy: hold on a second. i'm -- >> that's what people are telling me. >> jimmy: no, that's -- >> i'm hearing these things. >> none of it is true. >> jimmy: ba i did that. >> not enough. you cannot have too much. >> it's swimming in there. >> jimmy: too much olive oil. >> you want to drink this? >> pour some wine. >> how is that? >> that's nice.

fly that in from reno? >> jimmy: you have a minute left here. >> we're almost done. so, put those on the salad. >> jimmy: the fish? >> beautifully arranged. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. >> i made this one earlier. >> jimmy: i feel like you're patronizing me. >> try not to make a mess. >> jimmy: try to make it nice on there. >> did you taste it? >> jimmy: no. >> put the -- take the skimmer and pull this out. how are we doing? >> jimmy: i just tasted that. it's powerful. >> now we are our steamed clams. you can leave that there. i want you to take this bread that we roasted. rub it with garlic, but carefully and nicely. and gently. and a little bit of salt and olive oil. how are we doing? that's awesome. stir that up now. look how mediterranean this is.

tomatoes, basil. >> i wish i wore sun block. that's how mediterranean this looks. >> jimmy: very good. i got all my things done. >> steamed clams are going in here. now we have three items. we have the grilled amber jack with the sauce. the steamed clams, the bread goes in there. and i need you to plate this on the platter. well, more kind of like this, and you kind of go like this, maybe a little -- you have a future in cooking. >> jimmy: paul bartolotta, everybody. recipes at jimmy kiml live