tomorrow night, get the scissors out. we'll take you inside the world of extreme couponing, and you won't believe how much money some of these shoppers are saving. that's tomorrow. and finally, as we celebrate our anniversary, 30 years ago tonight, "nightline" signed off for the very first time. >> that is our report for tonight. this is ted koppel. for all of us here in washington and at abc news, good night. >> and that's our report for tonight. the end of our 30th year, and the beginning of our 31st. thank you for being with us. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message from breathe right nasal strips. do you ever feel congested when you try to go to sleep? i do -- and it makes my nightmares a real nightmare.

>> i do too jimmy. >> jimmy: you do? >> yes. sometimes it makes me so sad i cry. >> jimmy: well guillermo, have you ever considered stripping? >> stripping, jimmy? you want me to get naked? >> jimmy: no, no, i n't want you to get naked. i'm talking about breathe right nasal strips. look. that's what they look like. just put them on your nose for instant congestion relief. here. let's put this on your nose. >> okay. wow! my nose is open for business. good night jimmy. >> jimmy: good nigh, guillermo. oh. [ applause ] >> jimmy? >> jimmy: yes, guillermo? >> why are you wearing a suit in bed? >> jimmy: it's very hard to explain. >> dicky: why wait? start breathing right tonight.

go to breatheright.com to get two free samples now. >> jimmy: oh, mine works great. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with gabrielle union, music from jamie cullum and gerard butler.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to the show, i'm jimmy. it's good to see you here. thanks for joining me tonight. i am -- i am completely moisturized right now. i recently begun moisturizing. my doctor told me i have to, or else i'll die. i've got a big plastic pump bottle of body lotion on my desk, and all day, i just rub it in. that's why i smell like a flower. smell me. what do i ell like? >> a flower. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i am the world's hairiest

flower. that's right. it's wednesday night, which means death night on "american idol." one unlucky singer was forced to go home tonight. they drag them to the airport and stuff them on the plane, force them to actually go home. paige miles got the boot, leaving only ten karaoke singers behind. the top ten is when i really start to not watch "american idol." that's -- the singers this year aren't very good. i think it's time -- it's time to bring in professionals. rememb how boring it was when we had college basketball players in the olympics, then the dream team came in and cr h crushed? that's what they ought to do on "american idol." get rid of the katie stephens, bring in rick springfield and courtney love, that could be -- [ applause ] that would be fun to watch. they would kill each other. you should also be able to vote against someone on "idol." if you hate crystal bowersacks, text barf to 22623. another, some big news today.

another erotic eperformer is claiming to have had an affair with tiger woods. 1400 now? who would have ever thought that tiger woods would have more mistresses than endorsements? the newest is a florida-based adult actress/dancer/escort named devin james. that's her cooking. they say that's the safest way, especially if you are going to fry something, that's the safest way to cook. they -- she revealed this exciting news yesterday. which, why now? i mean -- it's so 2000-late. it really is. dr. drew should do an all-tiger woods girlfriend rehab house. meanwhile, jesse james who is married to sandra bullock for the time being -- um -- it just gets worse and worse for him. turns out not only has he been seeing the tattooed lady, apparently he slept with the bearded lady and the dog-faced boy.

a woman named melissa smith told "star" magazine that she and jesse had a two-year affair. that's melissa. she's got a lot of tattoos. much like, well, the other one, bomb shell mcgee. minus the neo-nazi. both claimed they had wild, passionate sex with jesse on multiple occasions. what happened to the work ethic in this country? are there any strippers left stripping? for god's sake. [ applause ] and here's another thing. something i learned from both tiger woods and jesse james. turns out strippers are allowed to go home with their clients. liars. [ laughter ] all these women come forward, the odds that tiger and jesse have accidentally hooked up at some point seem high to me. supposedly james is trying to reconcile with sandra bullock. i don't know if that's a good idea. every time the guy leaves the toilet seat up, it's going to be, you left the seat up, and

you did it with a nazi. he might be better off just moving to montana. and by the way, aside from the sex scandal, i guess jesse james has another big problem. look at these shocking allegations caught on tape this afternoon by tmz. >> jesse james killed my father. >> he did? >> shot mihm in the back. >> jimmy: that is -- that's worse than cheating on your wife, i think, killing a very old man's father? the moral of the story, you see what happens when you take an oscar away from meryl streep? she will ruin your life. [ laughter ] it's just -- it's just a joke, she had nothing to do with it. mortgage holder of the octo-mom, nadya suleman's house, here in california, says he's starting foreclosure proceedings because

she hasn't kept up on the payments. and there is talk of foreclosing on her uterus, but that has not been started. i hope that isn't true, i mean -- [ applause ] please, if they're watching, shaq, give this woman your shoe to live in. she literally has so many children she doesn't know what to do. thankfully a powerful charity organization has stepped in with an offer to help. >> peta is offering to help nadya suleman save her home. they are offering to pay, after posting this ad on her lawn. don't let your dog or cat become an octo-mom. >> jimmythat will be nice. what a wonderful treat it must be to be her neighborhood. but she may not need bee thpeta help. she has a pretty sure-fire plan to potentially bring in a lot of money. >> nadya suleman could be facing foreclosure, so, she's selling

the kids. come on down to the baby blowout celebration. she's passing the savings onto you. you could walk away with a pre-owned josiah or a factory-inspired noriay. traditional adoption centers cost you an arm and a leg. come down to crazy octo-mom's baby blowout celebration. not responsible for faulty acceleration. >> jimmy: giant inflatable baby. you'll know which one it is. [ applause ] this is something. dr. conrad murray, former personal physician to dr. conrad murray, could have his medical license revoked. that seems like a reasonable thing to do. how many patients could he have left anyway, really? according to documents on tan bid the associated pss a witness says the doctor delayed calling 911 and stopped doing cpr on michael to hide drug

viles around the room. the proper thing is, first, clear the airways then hide the drugs, isn't it? how would you even give michael jackson cpr anyway? make sure the breathing passage is free of about instruction. open the mouth. pinch off the -- [ laughter ] you have to do it like a bowling ball, you know? former presidents bill clinton and george w. bush charged to haiti this week to talk about the country's long-term recovery plan. this is a departure for president bush. it is unusual for him to personally visit a disaster of this scope and magnitude that wasn't his fault, so -- apparently there was some friction. i guespresident bush went to visit an aid station and when he got back to the hotel room, clinton tied a sweat sock around the door handle and he had to go hang out in the lobby for like an hour. this is funny. watch what bush does to clinton after they get through shaking hands here.

and a little wipe. [ applause ] >> jimm let's see that again in slow motion. hello, hello, how are you? very nice to meet you. good-bye and now i'm just going to wipe. president bush, first time we've seen him in two months this is what he does. he's the best. i miss that dizzy old dope, i really do. by the way, if you are germophobic, is bill clinton the best place to wipe your hands? god only knows what hotel room floor that shirt has been on, you know? not the first time something like this has happened to president clinton this is from an appearance on larry king. watch here. >> big, big questions we have to face. >> jimmy: larry, oh, yeah. wipes his nose and then reaches. the guy is like a roll of bounty paper towels. an entire day has passed since the new health care bill has

passed and apparently america has not been destroyed. you really can't trust politicians, you know? republicans are taking the loss very badly. for two days now, they've actually forced the democrats to shut congress down at 2:00 in the afternoon. they've had to cancel a number of hearings and other business. i don't blame them. they told the democrats pretty clearly, they said the way you're behaving leaves us no choice but to knock off work early and play golf. and we will keep playing golf every day until you've learned your lesson. want to play golf? the new health care bill, a bunch of new taxes in the new health care bill but the weirdest one is a 10% tax on tanning. beginning in july, indoor tanning salons are going to charge customers an extra 10%, as a result of this bill signed by president obama. which, a tax on taing salons seems very convenient for a black president, to me, i have to say. [ applause ]

yet another -- yet another slap in ryan seacrest's perfectly bronzed face. good news, though. dunninging your face in chocolate milk is still free. most affected by this new tax, of course, is the cast of "jersey shore." this is -- this could potentially cost them a fortune. by the way, pauly d has announced he will be auctioning off his tanning bed and donating the proceeding to st. jude's children's hospital, which is nice. essential lip he's fighting cancer with a machine that makes starting this week, mtv is going to launch "jersey shore" in more than 30 foreign countries, which should help our image abroad immensely. remember when other countries started to like us again? that's gone. it will be the same cast, but mtv come up with a clever way to adapt the show to individual markets. look at this. >> that's china.

now, this is it in jamaica. and -- and nowinally jersey shore afghanistan. and she just -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: she's a tough snooki, that one. i wonder if -- i wonder if people in japan will feel the same way about "jersey shore" that i feel about every japanese television show i've ever seen it's a mixture of horror, wonder, and what the hell is this that i'm watching? of all the different international versions of the show, i think the one i like best, and i've watched them all, is from our neighbors in mexico. >> we're taking you inside the hottest shore casa you ever seen. >> i spend like two hours a day on my abs. check it out. sick.

>> where the drama never ends. >> you cannot break up with me. you took my virginity! >> things get very crazy. >> you did sex with my girlfriend. >> you were not looking, i committed a robbery. >> no cool, bro. >> get off me, man! >> no! >> and it is always very sexy. >> are you ready for this? >> si. >> it is all just part of life on the "yersye shore." >> jimmy: nicely done. we have a good show tonight. gabrielle union is here. we have music tonight from jamie cullum. and we'll be right back with gerard butler, so stick around.

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>> j >> jimmy: hi there, we're back. welcome back to the show. with us tonight, from "flash forward," the lovely gabrielle union is here. then later, he's got a new album, called "the pursuit," jamie cullum is here. and not only is jamie here, he brought unicyclists. there they are practicing. people don't bring us them. i'm glad he did. tomorrow night on the show, pierce brosnan will be here, craig robinson and sarah mclachlan with emmylou harris. so that will be good. our first guest tonight is loved by women, liked by men and respected by pets. of allages. you can see him now in two movies, alongside

jennifer aniston in "the bounty hunter" right now and starting friday, as the voice of a viking in the new animated movie "how to train your dragon." please say hello to gerard butler. cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. >> hello. >> jimmy: i have to say, there's a real -- [ cheers and applause ] that's got to be a nice thing. i -- it does -- i'll be honest. it makes me feel a little bit bad about when i came out. >> it's a pity it's all prerecorded. there is actually nobody here. >> jimmy: people looking at you now that actually look surprised to see you though i announced like four times you were coming

there's like, oh, my gold, he's really here. i don't know if they thought it was going to be another gerard butler. it's you. >> there is actually a jerry butler that's a porn star. a soul singer, too. and i have a dialect coach called jerry butler. >> jimmy: there are a lot of jerry butlers out there. i can see why they're happy they got you. >> exactly. >> jimmy: the porn star would have been nice, too, right? [ applause ] >> i might just be both. >> jimmy: you never know. well, you do have two movies coming out. you might as well throw a third one in there. one out already and another movie coming out on friday. you must be exhausted. is it better to promote them simultaneously? >> i they ever thought of it like that. i thought it as a nightmare because, i mean, it's been a couple of months now, but the last three weeks i've been doing interviewsvery day all over the world. literally, you do sometimes 50, 60 interviews a day.

if you add up, i'm at 750 interviews now in three weeks. >> jimmy: wow. well, thanks for doing us last. >> you are. actually, you are my very last interview. >> jimmy: those are the ones that are most people speciaspec. >> well, you are always special. >> jimmy: thanks you've been around the world doing this, traveling and promoting and telling people to sethe movie. seems like some untries aren't worth it to go to, right? i hear about people going to germa germany, like, are there really that many germans that are going to make a dent in a movie? i mean, really. sorry germans. >> how to lose one complete country of fans going to see your movie no, actually, germany is a very bigging strong economic market for movies, so -- and they just gave me an award. >> jimmy: what award is that? >> it was gq man of the year. [ cheers and applause ] so i'm liking them.

but i have to go back, back to berlin, to paris and madrid for "how to train your dragon." i'm hoping sprain and france can come up with an award. >> jimmy: maybe it could be a competition between the countries to give you things. >> yeah. something. >> jimmy: i heard you were on a diet, a very restrictive diet that sounds crazy to me. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many calories a day were you eating? >> i was -- i was on a cleanse for 16 days. i'm very up and down. everybody knows me i'm either, yeah, who cares, or, i'm like, cutting out everything. i was on a 16-day cleanse and i went to a diet that was 500 calories a day. and literally you would measure out portions on a little, you know, little weights. so depressing. >> jimmy: really? i bet. >> and in the morning i had half a grapefruit and that was pretty much it until 2:00 in the

afternoon. i was training, as well. >> jimmy: why did you do this? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: really. >> actually, i had a lot of injuries from all the movies, i've been overtraining, so i wanted to slim right down and kind of start building up. >> jimmy: starve yourself? then i saw this picture of you at the lakers game, and you are there with adrian brody, and it would pear that the -- the mcdonald's bag. you look like you got 500 calories in your fist. >> that's true. i wasn't doing it there. in fact, we were eating -- that was actually jeffrey katzenburg who said, you want some mcdon d mcdonal mcdonald's? we were great. i was almost tripping up the linesmen. i kept going, sorry, man. >> jimmy: there's no linesmen in basketball. >> whatever you call it. what do you call them? >> jimmy: mcdonald's is not

scottish food, either. >> what do you call the guy -- >> jimmy: referees. >> almost tripped up the referee. i'm not a basketball guy. which is why i was so excited to be -- >> jimmy: you weren't the only one excited, by the way. this is after the game, and look at -- >> you can't get away with anything. >> jimmy: these laker girls -- they probably never pay any attention in class. look at the way they're all lined up looking at you, and what are you doing there? >> well, there's a rip in my jeans -- >> jimmy: oh, my good 'n. >> no, i was pretty much saying, i know you think you're just here to do a photo with me, but i'm one of the new cheerleaders and i was trying to do my cheerleading thing. and -- i pull mid groed my groi process. >> jimmy: has a woman ever resisted your advances? be honest. i know it's -- i know it would be the humble thing to say yes, but has it ever happened. >> actually yes it has. >> jimmy: for real? >> were you a ba baby?

>> i'm just kidding. the beard isn't helping. >> jimmy: really? more like grizzly adams every day. you get less looks. >> jimmy: give me an example, because i don't believe you when you say someone has -- >> oh, well -- when i was 15 or 16 i actually fell in love a couple of times in my high school -- >> jimmy: you want to lay down? >> this has become the therapist's chair. carolyn mclaughlin, you bitch! >> jimmy: what did she do to you? >> in fact, i learned a lot about this, shortly there after, i learned how to flirt. and she flirted outrageously with me, hold my hand, smiling and pretending we were boyfriend/girlfriend until i made my, you know, my huge attraction to her very clear at which point she said, no, i'm

not slightly interested, and it killed me. i thought, why would she do that? so, and then i learned. i've been doing it ever since. >> jimmy: tell me. i don't know what you do. >> this is crazy. i don't know what you do, really. there was one day, i'm -- this girl julie morrison -- >> jimmy: there's not that many, probably, that said no. the ones that said yes, you probably can't even -- you need to go through the phone book to figure it out. >> i write it down. jue morrison, tracy turner. >> jimmy: she's the worst. >> she was the worst, by the way. julie morrison was. >> jimmy: what did he do? >> she's the one, you did, you know, julie was the birds and the bees. but -- you know, i'll never forget, her walking up the stairs and -- thanks for your support. did you know julie, as well? >> jimmy: he probably did. cleto also used to have sex in

high school. you guys are the only two on this stage. >> but actually i didn't have sex. that bitch. so -- no, but i remember she was running up the stairs and i said someing to her and then i gave her a long, lingering look. i said, you're going to pay for that, and i kind of sled and she looked at me and gave me these come to bed eyes and i went, that's what you do! that's flirting! i get it now. >> jimmy: really? >> and i've been doing it ever since. >> jimmy: for you, that's great. i'm sure it works beautifully for you. for me it would result in a, i don't know, maybe a restraining order or something like that. now, this new movie, animated, in 3d, which is really -- 3d is great. i heard it's a fantastic movie. somebody said it made "avatar" look like -- >> scooby doo.

>> jimmy: that's a good reference to use. it looks really great, i heard. anyou play a viking. is it harder to do voiceover in 3d? >> you ask some interesting questions. i've done about 750 interviews. i have never -- >> jimmy: well, good. finally i goone. >> harder to do a voice in 3d? um -- i can't -- i don't think there's a difference. >> jimmy: it's a dumb question. you don't really have to answer. >> i'm giving that too much time. >> jimmy: we do have a clip. you play, like, the dad, the viking dad. and you are training your young son in your image -- >> yes. trying to. >> jimmy: he's resistant. let's look at the clip. >> i think it was supposed to help you. >> dad? ah -- i have to talk to you, dad. >> i need to speak with you, too, son.

i -- >> what? >> what? >> you go first. >> all right. you got your wish. dragon training. we start in the morning. >> oh, man. i should have gone first because i was thinking, you know, we have a surplus of dragon fighting vikings but do we have enough bread-making vikings or small home repair -- >> you'll need this. >> jimmy: there you go. that's "how to train your dragon." gerard butler, everybody. we'll be right back with gabrielle union. you son-of-a-biscuit- eating-bulldog! what the french toast? did you think i wouldn't find out about... your little doo-doo head cootie queen? who are you calling a ootie queen, you lit-licker! pickle you, kumquat! you're overreacting. nobill, verreacting was...

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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still come, jamie cullum will be here. the city of omaha, nebraska, has given us many gifts -- marlon brando, fred astaire, the guy who plays hurley, and our next guest. you know her from the movies

"bring it on," "bad boys 2" and on tv in "ugly betty and "7th heaven." now she is one of the stars of "flash forward." watch it thursday nights at 8:00 here on abc. please say hello to gabrielle union. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great. as usual. how are you? >> thank you. >> jimmy: your family, you have kind oa crazy family, as we've talked a number of times here on the show. do you tell them that you're going to be on the show before you go on, or, so you -- >> we don't tell them anything. we text them. we have -- we eliminate all phone conversations. when i pick up a phone, there's a check that has to be written. put it in words. >> jimmy: so mom and dad text you? >> they have to. >> jimmy: they know how? >> well, they're learning. they're from a different generation so my mom, every text is like the christmas letter, and cousin sally. and she's like, my dearest middle child, and then blah blah blah.

>> jimmy: by text? really? >> and my dad is more like, old black man '70s jive, not quite e boniks, but it's like, j.j. from good times, like, he doesn't believe in punctuation. i think you got a prostate exam, i don't know. >> jimmy: dynomite, right? that's great. so, dad will -- and now your parents, your boyfriend, well -- gerard butler was here -- >> i know. >> jimmy: he's dating the laker girls. you are dating dwyane wade of the miami heat, which is -- [ applause ] i like him a lot. he seems like a good guy. is your dad excited about that? >> well, you kno i -- my high school boyfriend was jason kidd, so -- >> jimmy: oh. >> kind of had high standards. so, my dad is like -- what are you coming with? like, he doesn't have to support you, fabulous. >> jimmy: it worked out well for him. does he come to the games?

my dad, yes, oh, does he, please. my dad is courtside, like, the queen of sheba, like, hello. with, a number 3 jersey on. >> jimmy: i got you. do you go to the games? >> i do, when i'm able to come, i definitely go. >> jimmy: and what -- how do you -- do you react when he's playing? >> if he's playing well, well, i'm happy and i'm, like, any other fan. when he's -- some unnecessary turnovers -- >> jimmy: do you boo him? >> i don't boo him, but i hiss. >> jimmy: are you a vocal -- do you yell things out? >> no. at times -- there's hand signals. our own sign language at times. i become like bobby knight and it's not pretty. >> jimmy: what kind of hand signals do you do? you do not do that! do you really? oh, that's -- really? >> he doesn't like it. >> jimmy: he must love that. >> yeah, not so much. there's a reason i don't sit courtside. >> jimmy: does he do that to you

while you're acting? >> well, he is off to the side, like, when me and john cho are making out, he's like -- >> jimmy: that's right. on "flash forward" you are engaged to john cho, and that's okay with him? >> yeah, he was -- he was cool with it until he, like, i was like, welcome visit my set. he was like, this is -- wait, you're kissing him a lot? like -- harrold, like, from harrold and kumar, you guys are like, totally -- hmm. and he thought it was a little weird and poor john was kind of excited at first, dwyane wade is here -- wait, we're about to get naked and this tall black man is here, not so fun. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> kind of killed the whole mood. >> jimmy: take the fun out. you don't have a closed set when that thing is going on. you have your boyfriend standing over you guys. >> no, no, do it now. kiss him now. do it. i want to see the flash forward. >> jimmy: i wouldn't be that

excited about that myself. >> no? >> jimmy: does the family -- i think we were talking about a family reunion. how often does that occur? >> every year, the second sunday of august. we assemble. >> jimmy: the union family reunion. >> well, there's two. the union family reunion and the dozens of cousins -- >> jimmy: dozens of cousins. i love that. there are dozens? there are thousands, yes. >> jimmy: is that a good thing? >> well there's a lot of diversity in our family. the doctors and the lawyers and the police officers and some criminals. and, you know, literally, like, one uncle is, like, the head of s.w.a.t. in lincoln, and one uncle peddles porn and sex toys, so, you know, we like to keep it balanced, really. >> jimmy: i guess so, the yin and the yang there. somebody's got to arrest somebody and it might as well be all in the family, i guess. now, this is a great show and it's very complex. one of those shows that you want

to pay attention to what's going on. and your fiance, as i recall, john cho, he seeps, y can see ahead into your future, he sees nothing. so, he thinks he's going to die. >> that's what he thinks, yes. i -- it's like a bad episode of bridezilla. i know you didn't see anything, the dress is paid for, so, i'm trying to change destiny and fight for him and fight for our love and fight for him to be alive. >> jimmy: i always think he could be sleeping. i would think positively and i go, i'm probably asleep. i might just be napping. i'm not necessarily dead. >> yeah, no, he -- yeah, he's pretty much -- he feels like, no, i'm dead. >> jimmy: he's so pessimistic. he really is. >> damn that cho. >> jimmy: if he saw drain wade over him while -- >> he's like, no, no, i don't live. >> jimmy: if that didn't kill him, nothing is. >> exactly.

>> jimmy: great to see you. give my regards to the family, by text, of course. gabrielle union, everybody. watch ""flash forward" thursday nights at 8:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with jamie cullum.

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>> jimmy: this is his number album called "the pursuit." here with the song, "wheels," jamie cullum! ♪

♪ everyday you live a life so full of hope ♪ ♪ shouldn't drag your soul around you like a leather vogue ♪ ♪ you remember everything you thought your life would be ♪ ♪ well its falling through the cracks of ancient history ♪ ♪ oh, is this something that i never something that i never had ♪ ♪ oh, is this something that i never something that i never had ♪ ♪ tell you what ve heard the wheels are falling off ♪

♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ friday night and everything is a okay ♪ ♪ we are living like we've always known a different way ♪ ♪ we are taking on our different roads before our goal ♪ ♪ it'll bring you back around to the one you know ♪ ♪ oh, is this something that i never something that i never had ♪ ♪ oh, is this something that i never something that i never had ♪

♪ tell you what i've heard the wheels are falling off ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ ♪ oh, is this something that i never something that i never had ♪

♪ tell you what i've heard the wheels are falling off ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪ ♪ the wheels are falling off the world ♪

thanks for your help.