time for tonight's closing arguments. it is an important day in this country, doubly so since we're at war. president obama marked veterans day in south korea where he is five days into an asian tour. >> on this day, we honor every man and woman who has ever worn the uniform of the united states of america. we salute fallen heroes and keep in our prayers those who are still in harm's way. like the men and women serving in iraq and afghanistan. >> back home, vice president biden laid a wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldier. and pa raids were held in cities around the country. but more than 100,000 veterans are homeless tonight. thousands of new veterans struggle with wounds physical and emotional. so, tonight, we ask, is the united states doing enough for its veterans? and what can it do better? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or at

the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. and to all the men and women who serve and the families who meis them, thank you from all of us here at abc news. tomorrow night, we will follow a man who hunts children, specifically, american children, taken from one parent and spirited overseas by the other. the goal? to bring them home. what are your guarantees? >> really, there are none. we tell our parents straight up, there are no guarantees. we are going into a country to recover a child from the hands of an abductor. and because of that, there is a high degree of risk. >> reporter: join us as we follow a recent case. it took him to the middle east, the trail of three beautiful abducted kids. until then, i'm bill weir. good night, america. >> jimmy: thanks, garrett. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel, enjoying tgi fridays with uncle frank,

guillermo and yehya. >> garrett is doing at doing that. >> he's the master for mixology. >> jimmy: mixology? yeah. >> and he's the mc of fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys want to learn how to do this? >> yeah, sure. >> okay, flip it into the tin. nice. >> jimmy: that's really good so far, yehya. perfect. okay. >> you're going to break. >> what's happening with me? you do mine. >> jimmy: you got the wrong one? okay. yeah, now do it. two mcs of fun now. >> dicky: take a photo at your favorite tgi fridays and logon to the website to enter the sweepstakes to win a chance to see "jimmy kimmel live." tgi friday's in here, it is always friday. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with harrison ford.

gary dell'abate. and music from edward sharpe and the magnetic see ropes. hey, man, how's my truck doing? good. they're just changing the oil. we're in. here we go. ♪ [ cheering ] i'm going to go check on the fellas. ♪ you guys almost done? ah, it's going to take a while. you're, uh, leaking diesel fuel.

it's not a diesel engine. yeah, that's why it's so bad. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. [ drill whirs ] [ chuckles ] ♪ [ spits ] ♪ [ thunder crashes ] ♪ [ male announcer ] movies just got more awesome.

download and watch them on the go at 4g speeds. with the epic 4g, the smartphone ranked number 1 by pcworld. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities, access www.sprintrelay.com. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- harrison ford. from the howard stern show, gary dell'abate. and music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, in so many words, here's jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello, everyone. thank you for coming. thank you for watching and for the clapping. it's -- i tell you something -- and a baba booey to you, too. it's a special day today. it's veterans day. i want to say thank you on behalf of all of us here at the show to our veterans and our men and women in the military right now. [ applause ] that's right. and i also want to salute a very special veteran of the korean war, especially because it happens to be his birthday today, uncle frank. >> oh, jimmy, thank you. thank you, jimmy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he's 77 years old today. which is four justin biebers and an olsen twin. not including -- i tried to

figure it out. he's the fifth oldest person on national television. mike wallace is 91. then andy rooney is next. then barbara waters. then regis. then uncle frank. >> wow! thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and -- then fire. uncle frank, did you know you're exactly eight days older than larry king? >> i knew we were the same age because we're from the same part of brooklyn. yeah. >> jimmy: in brooklyn, they try to do birthing in groups, it's -- but happy birthday. later on, we'll run you through the spanking machine -- >> what machine? >> jimmy: never mind. another big birthday yesterday. the 41st birthday of "sesame street." before "sesame street," the only place kids could learn to read fr was from books.

it's meant a lot to many children, and adults, of course, including the rapper lil' john who just recorded a tribute to "sesame street" and prepared to be dazzled. this might be the greatest song ever recorded. ♪ sunny day ♪ sweeping the clouds away ♪ ♪ hey ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] ♪ i don't know [ bleep ] ♪ i don't know [ bleep ] ♪ [ bleep ] ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] plus place. >> jimmy: i -- that's -- [ applause ] that's good stuff. i would like -- i would like to be -- that to be played at my funeral. is there anything better than that?

i mean -- it's just -- it's a simple -- it's an elegant, beautiful message. sesame street mother f-er. i want to thank lil' john for making uncle frank's birthday special with it. we're six days away from national unfriend day. there are 150 million facebook users in america alone. which is half the population. and many of these people have hundreds if not thousands of what they call friends. friends like this woman. susan d. bbeatrice. her picture says number one mcrib fan. her kids are named jordan and majestic. if you are one of her 556 friends, here is what you get about 20 minutes. susan just played pyramid solitary and beat sarah. susan just played pyramid

solitary and beat rhonda. she's very good at pyramid solitary. and other games, too. can you beat my new high score in wheel of fortune? probably not, susan. she plays farmville. susan has a chance to discover a very rare chicken in farmville. susan just found a poncho lam ma eating from their food trough. that's great. little jordan and majestic haven't had a home-cooked meal in months. so, to susan, i say, unfriend. i say -- don't pretend to be interested in these people. they're not your friends. on november 17th, unfriend susan, unfriend susan and everyone like her. anyone who isn't really your friend. now -- [ applause ] i hope you do this. i know some of you may be thinking, yeah, you know, guy i was lab partner with in high school is annoying, but just let it slide. but you know what they said the

same thing about? guy named hitler. look it up. i really think this is going to improve lives. our slogan is, all for un and un for all. i heard that some people are planning to have unfriend day parties on wednesday night, which, i like that idea. a get together, you unfriend people as a group. if you and your real friends, the ones you see in person, the ones who, when they pass out, you draw jen tams on their face with a sharpie, have a party -- if you are having a party on wednesday night, we would love to check in with you during the show. send us an e-mail at unfriendparty@gmail.com. and maybe we will join your nud party live on air. >> hi, billy dee here. and i love my friends. but there's one kind of friend i do not love. the overposting, always boasting, fake facebook friend. they make billy dee williams sick to his stomach.

this november 17th, join us in celebrating national unfriend day. let me show you just how easy it is to do. simply find that unspecial someone and hit this little x. and now, they're unfriended. national unfriend day. november 17th. do it! i'm billy dee williams. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he really is. he totally is. and i want to say, national unfriend day isn't just for adults it's for kids, too. children need to know that other kids they meet in the fourth grade are probably going to resurface in years to come and they're going to be scary. so, god only nope what kind of horribly invasive social network they'll come up with 20 years from now. probably have cameras built into our toilet seats. so, to help the children of today set bound rips for tomorrow, we enlisted the help

of a very special orange friend. ♪ oh, rubber ducky ♪ you're no fun ♪ your facebook page makes me want a gun ♪ ♪ rubber ducky ♪ i'm awfully tired of you ♪ every day you post ♪ what you had for dinner ♪ check out my cat ♪ i feel fat ♪ got a salad spinner ♪ please stop posting ♪ rubber ducky -- ♪ sesame street [ bleep ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry, that must have been -- sometimes with the editing, you'll have -- [ applause ] a problem. in dayton, ohio, this is something, people in dayton, ohio, were out of power yesterday after a disastrous attempt to demolish an old smokestack. look at this video. this is -- that's the smokestack. 275 feet tall. it was supposed to fall the way

it didn't turn out falling and -- look at this. no one was hurt, fortunately. there was some -- >> good job. i did a good job with that. wow. i did a great job. hey, what are we do next? i'm doing good! [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're really younger than regis, huh? >> yeah. by a little bit. >> jimmy: hard to believe. your acting gets stronger and stronger every year. and one more thing. the parents television council released a report that claims the use of profanity of broadcast television is up 69% over the past five years. i would have rounded it up to 70 if i was them. but -- [ laughter ] and of course that will level

off once oprah steps down. but in the meantime, we in television need to clean up our act. to do our part, every week, we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> george w. bush came to washington amid protests. guided the country through tragedy and more than once [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> governor elect jerry brown has been [ bleep ] by outgoing governor arnold schwarzenegger and mr. brown says it is as bad as you can imagine. >> the minister is under fire for a [ bleep ] with the first lady. >> i know that we've tried to say, let's not [ bleep ] in front of the kids, but sometimes it's just unrealistic. >> [ bleep ] [ bleep ] is bad even for exhausted moms. >> hey. you want to [ bleep ] me? >> oh, heck yeah! i've been waiting for this my whole life. >> there's nothing to do with the celebrities. if you don't like my choices,

[ bleep ] me. >> did he mean it? >> you see somebody get hammered in the [ bleep ], it is painful. when up get hammered in the [ bleep ], it means nothing. >> what do you want the american people to know about being speaker of the house? >> i'm a regular guy with a big [ bleep ]. >> the average [ bleep ] in the u.s. lasts 8.2 minutes. >> if you happen to find yourselves 100 miles south of chicago, give a cheer for the [ bleep ] jerkers! >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. baba bowie, booey, gary dell'abate is here. we have music from edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. and we'll be right back with harrison ford, to stick around. ugh, my sinuses... the congestion...

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>> jimmy: well, thank you very much. welcome back. with us tonight, from the howard stern show on sirius-xm radio --

that's right. we have a new book, here it is. it's called "they call me baba b booey." gary dell'abate is here. and later tonight, this is their debut album. it's called "up from below." edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show, kathy griffin, patrick dempsey, army hammer, robin quivers will be here. bill carter will be with us. and music from nelly, trey songz and my chemical romance. join us then, if you would. our first guest tonight needs no introduction but since i'm here, it seems like i might as well say something. his new movie is called "morning glory." it's in theaters now. please say hello to harrison ford. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you for coming. do you know these people? >> they all came with me. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. congratulations. you got married since the last time you were here. that's -- [ applause ] big deal. for you, it had been -- i think you kind of rushed into it. >> no. i think we were together for ten years before we got married. >> jimmy: that's a -- at that point, you go, yeah, all right. and we got these wedding photos. this is unbelievable here. and there you are. i guess it was a religious wedding? wait a minute. we're confusing your halloween photos. that is you as the nun there. true? >> well, as a nun.

>> jimmy: and that's -- and that is your bride, calista, who is wearing a piggy outfit, it looks like. >> well, she borrowed a fat suit from her wardrobe. >> jimmy: i had one i could have given her. all my clothes fit into that category. this is a -- how did this happen? [ applause ] whose idea was this? >> it was my idea. i thought it would make me less recognizable to the paparazzi. and they were there the minute we opened the car door. >> jimmy: yeah, that -- were you given the bottles of wine at the door, were those treatments? no, that's sacramental wine. >> jimmy: that's part of the costume? that is fantastic. i would never imagine you as a guy that could be talked into dressing up for halloween, but -- in fact, you --

>> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you kind of are a halloween costume if you think about it. you must see little han solos and indiana joneses and regarding henrys -- >> i didn't see any regarding henrys running around. >> jimmy: really? in my neighborhood, there were a lot of them. >> great. >> jimmy: i tell you what, i don't know if you noticed this or not, but i know a lot of little kids, a lot of my family, they have little boys, they, "star wars" seems to be more popular now than it was when it came out. >> i noticed that. a lot of kids at the parties we went to doing "star wars" stuff. >> jimmy: do they freak out when they see you? >> i don't think they know who i am. they're all, you know, boba fets and later or earlier, as -- you know, they -- >> jimmy: the johnny come latelies. >> one, two and three and we are supposed to be four, five and

six. >> jimmy: i think it was the 30th anniversary of "empire strikes back" and they're going to release them again in 3d. [ applause ] and -- that's -- sylvester stallone said that he originally -- he auditioned for the role of han solo. which -- did you know that? >> whatever he says. i don't know. i'm sure it's right. everybody auditioned for the role. there were -- they had two sets of three people. that they wanted to cast as an ensemble. i was in one. and the han solo in the second group was christopher walken. would have been a different movie, wouldn't it? >> jimmy: yes, it would have. it would have been probably just two movies and out, maybe, if that was the case. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: that's testament to you. i can't imagine anybody else playing -- least of all rocky and rambo playing that part. >> well, they asked me to read with the other actors that were up for the part so i read

probably with 300 princess laia and luke skywalker. at the last moment, they did offer me the part. so, i never really auditioned. >> jimmy: you didn't? you knew george lucas from "american graffiti." and then you were working as a carpenter? >> i was -- i had gone back to honest work after "american graffiti." and other films that i had done. i did about three -- i was a carpenter for about 12 years. and i did about three films during that period of time. but i was installing a elaborate entrance at francis cope la's offices as a favor for his art director. and i was working at night because there weren't a lot of people around and so that i

wouldn't have to be bothered by people walking up and down the hall because i was putting this entrance right in the middle of the hall. and i was working late one morning when george walked in with richard dreyfuss for the first of the interviews for the "star wars" things. >> jimmy: wow. >> and we chatted and two weeks later he asked me if i would, if i could help him read the other actors. >> jimmy: while you were covered with saw dust? >> i changed. >> jimmy: you changed. >> i changed. i finished the job. >> jimmy: were you a good carpenter? because a lot of carpenters aren't. [ laughter ] and i think the word carpenter gets thrown around a lot. >> yeah. yeah. well, no, i was good. i was a finish carpenter. and -- >> jimmy: yeah, that's serious. you do the fancy stuff? and do you still do that for -- >> no. >> jimmy: not at all? it wasn't fun?

>> no, no, not even for fun. >> jimmy: when the guy comes to the house -- >> but i can -- i can say how i want it done and talk in the right language. >> jimmy: and does that take -- do these guys -- they might be taken aback by the fact -- >> i think they appreciate it that they are working for somebody who knows the difference between good and bad. >> jimmy: i would think so. and they might get the idea that they're going to be -- >> and they expect me to pay for it. >> jimmy: and then you have to pay as well. now this new movie, you play an anchorman. >> i do. a guy who has been in the business for 40 years, a network anchor man who is retired or has been pushed aside for a younger man. and then this ambitious young producer played by rachel mcadams manages to get him back -- he's still got a couple of years to go in his contract and he's a greedy guy so rather

than give up the $6 million a year that he would get for just sitting on his butt, he's compelled to go back and do the lowest rated morning show as a co-host to diane keaton. >> jimmy: so -- it's -- >> he ain't happy about it. >> jimmy: local regis is what are you kind of going for? did you -- did you go and research the role with anchor people? >> no, but i sort of knew, you know, what the references were a and, the script was very well written. i knew what i was supposed to do. >> jimmy: you've seen the news, you know what they do. >> i have seen the news. >> jimmy: it is a special skid, becau because sometimes you see an actor playing just a reporter and it's -- >> yeah, that was assumed. and so diane and i were both asked by the director, roger

michelle, to attend anchorman school. which was -- >> jimmy: there is one? >> taught right here in los angeles. and we heard things like, just look into the camera and pretend it's a friend of yours you're talking to. >> jimmy: really? [ applause ] even looking into the camera has got to be against your instri instincts. >> it was -- >> jimmy: do you and the camera keep in touch? now, we have a clip here from the film. we have all the stuff here. does it need to be set up -- >> ah, yes, it does. this is the opening negotiations, this is first day at work. >> jimmy: if you could, look into the camera, pretend it's your friend. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: that one right there, yeah, yeah, okay. sorry. no, go that one, i'm sorry. i didn't go to anchorman school.

i don't know what to do. >> that's mine. >> jimmy: that's yours. >> that's yours. >> jimmy: the one with the light on. i was wondering why they put that -- [ applause ] >> it's mike's first day at work and he's meeting his co-anchor, played by diane keaton, for the first time, and they are negotiating a few of the details with the producer, rachel mcadams. my friend. >> mike, you don't mind calling good-bye? >> who -- >> my audience -- >> who would the public rather hear from last? someone who has won every broadcast award on the face of the planet? or the form er -- >> arizona. in case you are interested. i was miss arizona. >> well, that's our show for this morning. welcome to the daybreak family, mike. and thank you.

>> thank you, everyone. good-bye. >> good-bye. >> good-bye. >> good-bye. >> good-bye. >> how many is that? >> good-bye. >> three each. >> bye. >> and we're out. bye-bye. >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "morning glory." it is in theaters now. harrison ford, everybody. good-bye. >> good-bye. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with gary dell'abate. [ cellphone rings ] hello? playing black ops yet? yeah. it's awesome. i got it at walmart at midnight. me too. i just stole a russian... hind attack chopper. you couldn't steal a russian attack tricycle. look you better call in some backup reinforcements, man... backup?

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>> jimmy: hi there. we're back. still to come, edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. our next guest as one of the best and sometimes worst jobs in all the world. he's been tormented, morphed into a monkey. he's known by many names. his new book is number six on

the "new york times" best sellers list. it's called "they call me booey." please welcome the director of the howard stern show, gary dell'abate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations on the big success of the book. number six is pretty good. >> it's exciting. >> jimmy: and you're obsessed with numbers -- >> i look at the list. right. >> jimmy: and were you happy with it? >> very happy. >> jimmy: what number would you have been happy with? you want to get in the top ten? >> i did. it would have been thrilled to get in the top five. but portia de rossi and ricky martin kept me out. >> jimmy: time for you to make an announcement. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i enjoyed the book immensely. i know everything that goes on on the show but i really didn't know about your home life and -- it's hard to tell, for me, anyway, because my mother is

italian, if your mother is crazy or just simply italian. >> she's both. and the story is in the book where my mom is doing stuff because she suffered from mental illness and stuff she's doing because she's italian. she would do crazy stuff. >> jimmy: very crazy stuff. i mean, there's a lot of stuff and people can read the book, but one of the things i liked the best was, when howard was on the air making fun of your breath. >> and teeth. and gums. >> jimmy: and everything in your mouth, really. we could go -- >> the way i lick them and everything. >> jimmy: your mom, it's a natural thing to do, but not a great idea when your son's working, your mom made some telephone calls. >> i was 27. living in the city on my own, producing the show for a couple of years. so, howard and the gang were brutal to me that morning, they had a guy come in and smell mill breath. so, okay, i can take it, i'm used to it. so, i goal who that night and the phone rings and it's howard. he said, listen, man, i was a little hard on today.

i was like, no, it was fine. i'm sorry, i'll be better. i go, what's going on? it's not like for him to do that. he goes, listen, your mother called my mother and my mother called me and -- and howard's mother, by the way, got very upset with him. she's like, that boy's mother is very upset. so i said to him, i said, tomorrow, i want you to make fun of me twice as bald as you did today, hung up the phone and i called my mother. mom, i'm a man. you can't be calling my boss's mother. >> jimmy: and she stopped. that's -- she stopped doing it? >> she only did it once, so -- >> jimmy: yeah. my mother would not have stopped if i asked her to stop. that's where our paths differ. but yeah, it's a weird job to have. and especially when, you know, you have a protective family. how old are your sons now? >> 16 and 13. >> jimmy: are they aware of your baba booey-ness?

>> yeah, they hear it around town. a lot of people know me as the coach but people will be like, hey, baba booey. when my son was 3 years old, we're in the airport, a guy goes, hey what's up, and my son started cracking up. i go, what's so funny? and he goes, that guy thinks you're baba booey. >> jimmy: as if there is such a thing as one. but you are, and you are like -- >> i'm not a, i am the -- >> if you say i'm a -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's like a little insulting. >> jimmy: i guess so. i want to talk about the back of the book -- >> why? >> jimmy: this was a -- now -- in this photograph you're throwing out what was supposed to be a pitch at a mets game. you're a big melts fan.

>> yes. >> jimmy: and this is kind of a dream for every kid growing up in new york to do something like this. and it didn't go well, did it? >> no. it went horribly, horribly wrong. and i mean, i just -- i made myself crazy. i had thrown a pitch out like four years before, gone perfectly fine. it was the first season, my kids were older, and i kept making myself crazy. when i got out there, i started to pitch and in the middle of it decided i would throw and it went to the right. >> jimmy: well, for the very few that have not seen this clip, let's go through this, if we could. and here we go. there you are, the big moment, and -- wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, first of all, i thought you were my buddy. you showed that two nights in a row. i get e-mails now from friends and it's subject title, it says, a pitch worse than yours. and then i open up and it's

mariah carey or shawn johnson. >> jimmy: you might have to wait awhile. that's a pretty -- i was looking at it and i was thinking, i wonder -- you play with your kids, right? >> i can throw. just not that day. >> jimmy: yet, when your moment in the sun on national television, you weren't able -- >> the definition of choking. i choked. >> jimmy: gary, i believe in redemption. >> no. >> jimmy: i really do. and in fact -- [ applause ] i have something for you. this is a glove. and this is -- this is a catcher's mitt. and, you know, we set it up, we measured it all. if you want to go right over there -- >> i really don't. >> jimmy: i'm sure you don't. but gary -- i think it would be -- i think it would be great for you. just -- go over there. and i'll be right here.

this is -- just chuck it right in here, gary. whoa! one more time. one more time. you were a little bit wide there. a little bit wide. one more. come on, gary. >> jimmy: all right. well -- see? well, at least he hit something. this is the book. garydell'abate, everybody. we'll be right back with edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. [ female announcer ] monistat® asks...

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>> jimmy: well, this is their debut album. it's called "up from below." here with the song "home," edward sharpe and the mag nneti zeros. ♪ ♪ alabama arkansas ♪ sure love my ma and pa ♪ not the way that i do love you ♪ holy roly, me oh my ♪

♪ you're the apple of my eye ♪ girl, i never loved one like you ♪ ♪ man oh man you're my best friend ♪ ♪ i scream it to the nothingness ♪ ♪ there ain't nothing that i need ♪ ♪ well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie ♪ ♪ chocolate candy ♪ jesus christ ♪ there ain't nothing please me more than you ♪ ♪ ah home ♪ let me come home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ ah home ♪ let me come home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ hey ♪ hey ♪ take me home

♪ momma i'm coming home ♪ ♪ i'll follow you into the park ♪ ♪ through the jungle through the dark ♪ ♪ i never loved one like you ♪ motes and boatsed a waterfuls ♪ ♪alley ways and pay phone calls ♪ ♪ i sure walk everywhere with you ♪ ♪ that's true ♪ we laugh until we think we'll die ♪ ♪ barefoot on a summer night ♪ never could be sweeter than with you ♪ ♪ and in the sticks we're rubbing free ♪ ♪ like it's only you and me ♪ geez ♪ you're something to see

♪ ah home ♪ let me come home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ ah home ♪ let me come home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ hey ♪ hey ♪ take me home ♪ momma i'm combing home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ home

♪ yeah we are home home home ♪ home is wherever i'm with you ♪ ♪ you ♪ ♪ ♪ let me come home ♪ let me come home ♪ you are me ♪ and i am you with capital one bank's new checking with rewards,

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