Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 7, 2011 12:00am-1:05am EST

12:00 am
12:01 am
>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about nexpedition from american express travel, the way to turn your next trip into a customized adventure. just go to nextpedition.com, take the online quiz to uncover your travel sign -- i'm a taste blazer, by the way -- then, you speak with a travel specialist. they'll tailor your itinerary for a mystery adventure that will be revealed day by day on your travel console. or, you can plan it all yourself and wind up like this. >> this is not a good vacation for me. i'm cold, i'm hungry, i'm sad. and i'm hungry. >> jimmy: oh, now, guillermo,
12:02 am
hold on a second this is very sad. >> jimmy! i am cold and hungry and -- >> jimmy: i know. i know. you know, if you had gone to nextpedition.com, you would've wound up in places tailored specifically to your personality so you would definitely have enjoyed it. places like this -- >> wow! i like this much better! can you make it rain tequila, too? >> jimmy: no. i can't. >> that's okay. >> jimmy: stick with the scarf, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. >> dicky: nextpedition from american express travel. take the online quiz at nextpedition.com today. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with jeri ryan, music from t-pain and armie hammer. [ male announcer ] cookies
12:03 am
with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. they won't be beat. oh, actually...
12:04 am
then i'd be like, you rule! and my kids would be like, you rule! oh, load up the sleigh; this is going to be a great christmas. [ male announcer ] more christmas for your money, guaranteed. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- armie hammer. jeri ryan. and music from t-pain. with cleto and the cletones.
12:05 am
and now, by popular demand, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you, cleto. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for braving the elements to come here tonight. it's cold in l.a. it's cold in our studio. the weekend before last, it was 80 degrees. now it's 40, which is -- that's almost half, right? right now i'm wearing two pants of yoga pants just to stay warm. i know 40 degrees doesn't sound like much to people in minnesota who have to thaw their children out with hair dryers every morning, but we're not used to it here and it's starting to take its toll on our local news teams. >> it has been so cold. like, with a capital f.
12:06 am
i had to put on flannel pajamas. >> what did you just say? cold with a capital f? >> f. freezing. >> jimmy: oh, it's f-ing freezing outside. i would have guessed fahrenheit. the good news is, we might be able to leave this freezing cold planet very soon. nasa has discover what they believe might be the first alien planet that can sustain human life. it's call eed keppler 22-b. catc catchy. it's only 600 light years away. which means if we send the kardashians now, they should get there by 2612? 600 light years. that means i s it would take 60 years to get any information received on that planet.
12:07 am
it was spotted by nasa's keppler space craft which has eidentifid more than 2,000 potential planets. scientists are hoching that on one of the planets they might have some girls who will talk to them. [ laughter ] does it make anyone elseneer vous that nasa is constantly looking for other planets to sustain human life? makes me worried that they know something very bad about this planet. nasa says the weather on the planet is a lot like ours. the average planet is the same day as a pleasant day here on earth and it looks like mtv already has plans for it. >> this spring, nasa in association with mtv precept an old of this world television event. join snooki and the rest of this gang and they travel 600 light years from earth to find the one place where people don't hate this them yet. "jersey shore," kepler 22-b.
12:08 am
>> we're going to outer space, bitches! >> jimmy: well, i think that looks like fine programming. i tell you. [ applause ] and chen khloe and kim will take kepler. speaking of new jersey, in medford today, the mayor resigned. chris myers is a republican married, two kids and being accused of, anyone? anyone want to take a guess? that's right, sex with a prostitute. i guess he got mad that the mayor gave him only $500 and didn't deliver on his promise of a car and other gifts. apparently he had the mayor confused with oprah. because who gets a car? no male prostitute i ever went to asked for a car. [ laughter ] so, to get back at the mayor, the guy posted this picture on a website of a man who looks a lot like the mayor. i think that's him. either that or calvin klein is going in a very different direction with their new ad campaign. [ laughter ]
12:09 am
makes you -- why would a guy that is that good looking have to go to a prostitute of any kind? if his wife has a sense of humor, she'll send that out as their family christmas card this year. there have been so many gay sex scandals in politics over the last few years it was almost kind of refreshing to see her man kicain and his shenanigans. cain suspended his campaign for president on saturday. cain's next big move is to endorse another candidate now that he's out and most people presume he will support newt gingrich, the other candidates are working pretty hard to get his supporters on their side. most especially rick perry, who released this new ad today that it's clearly targeted at orphaned cain fans. >> we have come to this conclusion that it would be best to suspend this campaign. >> now that herman cain has
12:10 am
suspended his run for president, there's only one gop candidate left who can keep us laughing. >> commerce, education and the -- uh -- what's the third one there? let's see. and, uh, the -- uh -- uh -- i can't. the third one i can't, sorry. oops. >> rick perry. >> live free or die, victory or death. bring it! >> strong. dumb. perry funny. >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: wait a second. what row? what aisle? let's do this. we deserve him. [ applause ] i don't know if you heard this but the u.s. postal service is in trouble right now, financial trouble. they lost $5.1 billion last year. and you know that $5 check your grandmother sends at christmas? they lost that, too. yesterday, the postmaster general which is a very fancy title for a guy who makes sure
12:11 am
you get yore omaha steak catalog, announced a plan to cut $2.1 billion from the budget. 28,000 postal workers would be laid off and put an end to next-day mail service. good, yes, make the mail slower. that is the way to save it. [ laughter ] the new plan is a last-ditch effort for the -- they tried everything. they tried closing post offices, raised the price of postage. they had the viagra stamp for awhile. remember that? you lick it? now they're cutting staff. basically everyone is fired and the mail will be delivered every other year. that's why i only send letters via carrier pigeon. unless they hit a ceiling fan, they never let me down. are you all getting into the holiday spirit? [ applause ] guillermo, are you getting into the holiday spirit? >> of course. >> jimmy: you are. by the way, when are you going to invite me to your house to see the new baby? >> next week. >> jimmy: next week? >> for sure. >> jimmy: i would like to see him before he gropes a mustache.
12:12 am
>> okay. next week for sure. >> jimmy: very good. i definitely feel ready for the holidays. my halls are decked, my bells are jingled. i'm staying up late tonight nothinging the eggs. last night here on abc, the charlie brown christmas special officially kicked the holiday season off. if you haven't seen the special in awhile, charlie brown directs a christmas play starring all his friends but he has a hard time being in charge. it's pathetic. so, this year, to help charlie out, we replaced his voice with the more commanding voice of donald trump. and i think you'll see here, charlie brown is a whole new man. >> you know, the worst employee is a good employee. a bad employee is fine, because you fire that person right away. but a good employee, you never sort of fire them. but they never lead you to the next level. they just keep their job. they're sort of too good to be fired but they're not good enough, you're never going to do great. so, i always say, the worst
12:13 am
employee isn't a bad employee, it's just a good or average employee. ♪ you're fired. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and one more thing. with the holidays, there's a lot of pressure over the holidays as far as buying gifts goes. it's hard to come up with an original idea. we found some great holiday gift ideas on craigslist. i am always fascinated by the things people choose to put on sale on craigslist. so, tonight, we invited the sellers themselves with their items to show off their treasures and it's time now to share "craigslist holiday gift ideas." all right. let's meet our first seller. phillip. come on out, phillip.
12:14 am
there we go. there's phillip. [ applause ] how are you? >> good, how are you doing? >> jimmy: good. item us what you are selling and how much you want for it? >> my aunt is selling a 2011 calendar. for $3. and you'll note this has a coffee stain on it. >> jimmy: uh-huh. so, this calendar is good for another -- >> two weeks. >> jimmy: two weeks. and you want $3 for it. did she arrive at that price? >> she did. >> jimmy: and how did she happen upon that? she thought, there are three weeks left, that's like a dollar a week -- >> maybe. maybe. she probably looked at how deep the coffee stain went and -- >> jimmy: did she stain it herself? >> i have no idea where the stain came from. >> jimmy: well, if you would like to purchase this for, i don't know, a loved one. maybe this would be a great gift for, if you have a bad kid? you can go to craigslist los angeles and search for desk calendar 2011 and you can buy
12:15 am
it. thank you, phillip. [ applause ] our next seller is jeff. oh, hi, jeff. how are you? >> fine, thank you. >> jimmy: now, jeff, you have what? >> i have an authentic vintage t.j. hooker cast and crew jacket. >> jimmy: that's beautiful. >> that was given by william shatner to his second wife, marcy. >> jimmy: how did you get ahold of this? >> well, i got ahold of marcy as much as i dated her for awhile after bill. >> jimmy: she didn't want the jacket? >> she didn't. she gave it to me to give to my mother. my mother in turn didn't want the jacket. >> jimmy: is your mother named marcy? >> no. >> jimmy: i can see why -- and your mother didn't want the word hooker on her back. >> she actually did notice that. so, no, she didn't want it. >> jimmy: how much are you asking for this. >> this is $250 or best offer. >> jimmy: if you would like to buy this lovely jacket, go to
12:16 am
crai craigslist los angeles and search william smarter in t.j. hooker jacket and jeff will deliver it to your home. thank you. up next is alex. alex, what do you have here? >> i have 20 slightly expired ovulation strips. >> jimmy: ovulation strips. these are used for what? >> these are to tell whether or not you are fertile enough to have a baby. >> jimmy: and when you say slightly used -- >> expired. >> jimmy: how expired are they? >> 2005. >> jimmy: 2005. and you are asking how much for these? >> $1, all 22. >> jimmy: $1 for all of them? and is that a problem, the fact that they expired many, many years ago? >> my wife who is a chemist tells me that that -- >> jimmy: your wife is a kchemit and you are receiving things for
12:17 am
a dollar on craigslist? >> yes, we are. >> jimmy: okay. is she an alchemist? >> if only. >> jimmy: if only. and what happens if somebody uses this and then they think they're not pregnant and it turns out they are. will you and your wife raise their child for them? >> no, that's why we are only charging a dollar. >> jimmy: all right. well, if you are looking for a low priced way to find out if you are pregnant, and who isn't now days, go to craigslist los angegeles and search ovulation test strips and -- you can get that. oh, hi there. how are you? >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: this is vaughn. what do you have? >> i have a figure in the image or likeness of michael jackson. >> jimmy: what is this history of this? >> my mom was cleaning out boxes and she was going to toss it and i said give it to me, i'm going to sell it. >> jimmy: is this a favor artist, a picasso? >> the guy's name is tom cook
12:18 am
and when i first saw it i didn't think it was actually michael jackson. i didn't think it looked like him. maybe if you gave him a chimp and he was moonwalking. >> jimmy: but this is a young michael, shortly after he fell out of a plane. >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and broke his neck. >> with the nose job. but there is a glove there, i don't know if you can see that. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> and when i looked it up online it said tribute to michael jackson and supposed to be a know dancing to james brown's "good foot." that's the history of it. >> jimmy: if you would like this beautiful piece of art for your home or perhaps even a church, that would be nice, you can go to craigslist los angeles and search michael jackson figure and there you will find it. only $45. all right. next we have greg. hello. how are you? >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: imsee you have the shirt that says greg and greg's
12:19 am
window cleaning. what are you selling? >> my two partially used of chewing gum remover. >> jimmy: thow used are they? mind if i check? >> quarter of -- >> jimmy: seems like there are some there. and you use these to remove chewing gum from? >> from carpet. >> jimmy: from carpet. and is that something you run into a lot? >> not so much anymore but when i first started out we were a full janitorial service, over the years we became just a window cleani ining business soo longer have the need for them. >> jimmy: how much do you want for these? >> $1 per can. >> jimmy: you decided, i'm going to place an ad and field phone calls and then have a stranger come to my house for a potential $2 score. >> i actually, when i post something on craigslist, i won't tell them where i live, i meet them -- >> jimmy: okay, all right, even better then. you will drive, spending who
12:20 am
knows how much in gasoline and that delivery is free of charge? >> um -- they have to come pick it up. >> jimmy: they have to come meet you at some point. and you are -- gum is a big problem, it's one of our biggest problems now days, right? >> yeah, ruins the carpet. >> jimmy: all right, greg, thank you. go to craigslist los angeles and search chewing gum remover 4 sale. and one more, we have one more item, our big ticket item here and this is stewart, hi, stewart. >> jimmy, how are you doing? >> jimmy: doing well. tell everyone what this is. >> this is the an ma tronnic david hasselhoff statue from the movie set "spongebob squarepants." >> jimmy: this was in the movie? >> yes. >> jimmy: and used for what? the movie? >> that i don't -- >> jimmy: you haven't seen the movie? >> i isn't. i just brought the prop. >> jimmy: how long have you had
12:21 am
this? >> i had it since july 2007. >> jimmy: it looks a little bit damaged. do you know why that is? >> when it was at the auction house i guess a dog thought it was real and jumped up and bit it in its breast. >> jimmy: you have considered receiving this in germany where you could get a lot more money for it? >> i recently just heard about doing that. >> jimmy: you have? okay. and you say it's an ma tronnic, does it do anything? >> um -- yes. it -- the head moves just like this. >> jimmy: that's -- does it ever get drunk and vomit on your carpet? >> no, but you know, it eats cheese burgers. >> jimmy: what child wouldn't come down the stairs on christmas morning and be absolutely delighted to see something like this? well, thank you very much. if you would like to buy this item, and who wouldn't, go to craigslist los angeles, search
12:22 am
david hasselhoff movie prop. thank you very much. thanks to all our sellers. we have a good show for you tonight. you can stay here with david. jeri ryan is here. we have music from t-pain. and we'll be right back with armie hammer, too, so stick around. [ woman ] my boyfriend and i were going on vacation, so i used my citi thank you card to pick up some accessories. a new belt. some nylons. and what girl wouldn't need new shoes? we talked about getting a diamond. but with all the thank you points i've been earning... ♪ ...i flew us to the rock i really had in mind. ♪ [ male announcer ] the citi thank you card. earn points you can use for travel on any airline, with no blackout dates.
12:23 am
yes. but lately we've been using k-y® intense™. it stimulates arousal so the big moment is... (announcer) k-y® brand intense™ - intensifies female satisfaction. does the cost of quitting smoking stop you from trying? try the (new) affordable nicorette gum pocket pack each pack has twenty pieces to help you get started, smoking is expensive, quitting doesn't have to be. try the new nicorette pocket pack ♪ [ laughs ] ♪ ♪ this season's hottest games and...sweatbands. ♪ ♪ everybody dance now ♪ badabababababa.
12:24 am
wow. [ male announcer ] get low prices on this season's hottest games. like just dance 3 for kinect for xbox 360. rated everyone 10 and up. backed by our christmas price guarantee. save money. live better. walmart. natural instincts can prove it. and they did. it's the only hair color that's clinically proven to be less damaging. for a healthy look... look no further than natural instincts. it's all good. e garden'sook no further than natural instincts. new chicken & potato florentine soup made from scratch daily with roasted chicken. it's part of our $6.95 unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks lunch. and it's only here for a limited time.
12:25 am
12:26 am
>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the show, from "body of proof" here on abc, jeri ryan is with us. and then, with music from this album, it came out today, it's called "revolver." t-pain from the bud light outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we'll be joined
12:27 am
by the likes of russell brand. jane fonda. and we'll have music from lukas nelson & promise of the real. and on thursday jeremy renner. judy greer. and music from chevelle. hey, speaking of music, our announcer dicky barrett's band the mighty mighty bosstones has a new album out today. their first new album in what, how long? >> dicky: ah -- two years? >> jimmy: 40 years. it's called "the magic of youth." >> dicky: two years. >> jimmy: i thought you told me 40. will you sing one of the songs for us? >> dicky: right now? [ applause ] do it next week at guillermo's house. >> jimmy: very good. and you can get this on craigslist? >> dicky: yeah. >> jimmy: you can get it on itunes, amazon and even record stores if they still exist. the mighty mighty bosstones, everybody. >> dicky: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you for bringing us music once again. >> dicky: thank you. >> jimmy: you knoll our first guest tonight from two roams in one movie. he played the winklevoss twins in "the social network." now he plays two of the same
12:28 am
guy, both and and young, opposite leonardo dicaprio. the movie is called "j. edgar." please welcome armie hammer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: were you interested in the craigslist things? you can get a jump on that? >> i got on my phone and bid on that t.j. hooker jacket. >> jimmy: good looking stuff. have you bought anything from craigslist? >> my wife is all over craigslist and she's shrewd. like, she'll do the thing where she shows up with all the money but will be like, i only brought half. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> your move. >> jimmy: giving her secrets away. >> now everyone knows. >> jimmy: yeah, well -- that's something. so, she's anegotiator? >> she'll look at electronics, antiques, that kind of thing. >> jimmy: does she sell things? >> yeah, yeah. she'll sell, buy, anything. >> jimmy: wow.
12:29 am
that seems dangerous. >> i mean, she's all over it. i'll be in the background like, everything cool? you can have that kindle, sure. >> jimmy: that cease something else. and you and your wife are opening a bakery. >> this is true, yeah. that's one of the things we're putting on craigslist. >> jimmy: the bakery? >> not the whole thing. we are advertising for bakers on craigslist. any bakers, are like, come on, we'll take advantage of your skills. >> jimmy: you have no bakers? >> we have some. but -- >> jimmy: what kind of things are you baking? >> it's like cupcakes, mini pipes, lemon bars. the whole thing. >> jimmy: nice. are you paratis pafting in the baking in the bakery? >> strictly as a taster. i mean, i -- i got to be honest, i eat nine cupcakes a day. >> jimmy: that sounds like a good job to have. >> i might have the same blood sugar at b.b. king. i'm not even lying it's absurd. but -- like, it's gotten to the point where if i eat a cupcake,
12:30 am
i can be like, too much cornstarch. i can tell. >> jimmy: and does your wife take criticism well when you say -- >> yeah, yeah, because if i lie and i'm like, this is delicious, she'd be like, how dare you not be honest. >> jimmy: oh, so she's -- >> 100% honesty all the time. except when she shows up to buy things on craigslist. >> yeah, yeah. sorry, baby. >> jimmy: this seems crazy to me because aren't you right now playing prince charming in the snow white movie? >> yes. i'm playing prince alcott. >> jimmy: that's not his real name? >> no, no. >> jimmy: okay. and the prince -- snow white -- there are two movies. this one is called "mirror mirror." this is the good one. >> the best one. >> jimmy: and who else is in this movie with you? >> lily collins, julia roberts, nathan lane. it's a great cast.
12:31 am
fun actors. >> jimmy: sounds pretty great. and the gardwarves, are they cg- >> no, these are -- these are really people playing them. and -- >> jimmy: good. >> your name came up. i'm not going to lie. i think little people are mad at you, dude. >> jimmy: some of them don't like me. >> no, no, no. all of them don't like you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: all of them? >> i remember when we were fi filming, lily came to be on your show and i remember one of the guys who i'm not going to name but he was like, jimmy kimmel, huh -- >> jimmy: was it sneezy? >> you got it. it was. >> jimmy: really? >> apparently, i think you pissed off little people. >> jimmy: i know what i did. >> what? i don't know. >> jimmy: like a million things. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm always going into
12:32 am
their houses and putting things on the high shelves. >> sure, sure. just take it, no, just grab it, sure. >> jimmy: they didn't say why? i'm worried now. concerned about my safety. >> jimmy, i think you'll be okay. >> jimmy: i'm like gulliver to them. i not know, like, maybe 13 years ago, i found out that they had a championship basketball team, they have their own basketball league? and i decided it would be a good idea if i and the guys from the show, the radio station that i worked for at kroc took their team on. and -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and we beat them on a last-second three-point shot. >> okay. i've got a story that can beat that. robert who plays my valet in the movie, he's my man servant for all intents and purposes. i had to actually know how to fight for the movie, so, they were like, we're really going to train you with sworpds so you know how to do it.
12:33 am
but with robert, they're like, you don't have to learn how to fight, so we'll stick you here. and he shows up for the first day, you know, you guys have to warm up, run around a lot. just play tag. and robert's like -- you want me to play tag with these guys? yeah, yeah, just play tag. he said it was like, you're it. okay, you're it. no running on his part, just like reaching and tagging people. >> jimmy: he's not a -- >> he's -- he's a normy, i guess. >> jimmy: normy and a -- yeah. i love the idea that you're going to work every day and surrounded by real dwarves. >> if only it was keebler elves. >> jimmy: i was reading about you last night. your great grandfather, i read a lot of stuff about him. he was a real character. he was one of the people, one of the many people, that j. edgar
12:34 am
hoover kept an eye on. >> hated. yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: hated your great grandfather. >> well, at the time, you know, all the way up through the cold war, he was a private u.s. citizen that could fly between the united states and russia and back and forth as much as he wanted because of the connections he had. hoover was immediately like, spy. definitely a spy. >> jimmy: do you think he was a spy? >> i mean -- i wouldn't put it past him. who knows, man? >> jimmy: he might have been. and so, now, you're in this movie playing, essentially, j. edgar hoover's boyfriend. >> yeah, yeah. which the fbi was not happy about. >> jimmy: are they still protecting hoover, to this day? >> oh, yeah. if you ask any, like, current, you know, agent of the fbi, you know, what -- the director is an honorable man. he is the most perfectly structured -- like, they still fear that guy like he will come out of the grave. >> jimmy: maybe he will come out. he used to go through your great
12:35 am
grandfather's trash? >> there was definitely -- i remember stories as a kid of, like like, they went through the trash or they listened on the phone and that kind of thing and i remember thinking, all right, you guys might be fool of yourselves. but then i read the script and i was like, holy crap, maybe this did happen. >> jimmy: what great revenge you got ongaredgar, playing his boyfriend. we have a clip here from the movie. you need to set this up? >> this isn't me planting one on him? >> jimmy: no. this is leonardo dicaprio playing j. edgar hoover. >> and armie hammer, the two of them doing a scene after a senate hearing. >> jimmy: here we go. >> i want you to start a file on him immediately. four agents on him at all times. i want you to photograph him at every dinner. don't get in the car. you can walk back.
12:36 am
>> inspector, we have lunch. we don't miss lunch, no matter what. >> you pulled away from me in there. >> you perjured yourself in there. >> find agent pervis. he's to be demoted immediately. >> firing the man who killed john dillinger would be a p.r. disaster. >> if you would like to keep that job, you best stay out of the papers. >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "j. edgar." armie hammer, everybody. great to see you. we'll be right back with jeri ryan. 1-2,
12:37 am
1-2-3-4 ♪ for others, it's somethingelong discovered yesterday. we all have things that speak to us. they drive us to get up early, and stay up late. getting lost in the things we love has never felt quite like this.
12:38 am
give a subway card! buy or reload a $25 subway card and get a free regular 6" sub instantly! give a gift, get a gift. subway. eat fresh. give a gift, get a gift. crunchy, roasted peanuts. meet soft, chewy caramel. for the energy to keep you going. who wouldn't want to be a part of that? payday. the sweet taste of energy. nice, huh? yeah. you know what else is nice is all the savings you can get on cruze and traverse over there. oh! that's my beard. [ chuckles ] it's amazing. ♪ [ male announcer ] this holiday, chevy's giving more. now very well qualified lessees can sign and drive a 2012 cruze ls for around $199 a month.
12:39 am
♪ be five percent more merry with the target red card, i love it! by getting an extra five percent off our already low prices. plus free shipping at target.com makes it easy for anne to view her finances from anywhere. like gate d12 for the next three hours. citibank for ipad.
12:40 am
easier bankingng. standard at citibank.
12:41 am
really? [ male announcer ] kate uses her citibank debit card because kate knows there are some things you shouldn't be charged for. refill? i'm ok. [ male announcer ] so does that guy. the citibank debit card with no monthly fee. easier banking. stndard at citibank. >> jimmy: hi there. still to come, t-pain will be with us. when the internet was still in its adolescence, millions of "star trek" fans pushed their dial-up modems to the point of exhaustion downloading images of our next guest. you can see her now, sans-unitard, alongside dana delany on the show "body of proof." it airs tuesdays at 10:00 here on abc. please say hello to jeri ryan. [ cheers and applause ]
12:42 am
>> jimmy: i heard you have laryngitis. >> this is my first day with any sort of voice. it's not mine yet. >> jimmy: how long have you been voiceless? >> this is day six. previous five days, there was no sound coming out of my mouth. >> jimmy: a whistle ming choking noise that came out of your moist? >> pretty much. >> jimmy: how did this happen? >> i had a cold, i got a cold wednesday, thursday from my daughter. she shared. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> thursday, halfway through the day at work, i was sitting there for 20 minutes and it was just gone. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> 3 1/2. >> jimmy: did you punish her? >> i beat her a few times. >> jimmy: so, you had to work through this whole thing. >> i -- yesterday i worked all day. the previous few days i had off which was great. i was off friday and the weekend. i carried around my ipad and go to the notes and type things in. >> jimmy: you would type what you needed to say? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they didn't have any paper or pens? you had to use the ipad?
12:43 am
>> aye become kind of attracted to my technology. i didn't used to. >> jimmy: that's something else. now, your husband is a chef. >> he is. >> jimmy: he's a french chef. >> yes. >> jimmy: from france, yes? >> yes, as opposed to the nonfrench -- >> well there are some french chefs that aren't from france -- >> right. friend of-style food. >> jimmy: and you are very interested in restaurants and all that stuff. do you cook -- have you cooked in his restaurant? >> when i met him, i was cooking for fun on sundays in another restaurant which is no longer with us, which i'm sure had nothing to do with my cooking there. >> jimmy: so you would go to work? >> i was working the line every night. every sunday night. >> jimmy: where would you work on the line? what were you in charge of? >> sunday nights they had a limited menu because they did family style. i did the vegetarian entree because i couldn't cook the meat and screw up the fish. >> jimmy: was that fun for you? >> it was amazing. so exciting.
12:44 am
and you -- it's exhausting and you work horribly long hours and every muscle in your body hurts the next day but you get out of a service at 12:30, and you are dripping with sweat but there's so much adrenaline, you are literally bouncing up and down. >> jimmy: the rest of the staff, were their minds blown that you were there working with them? >> i don't think they really cared. >> jimmy: they didn't? >> it was fun. the chef that i became friends with to get to work there, you know, was a very -- they had music playing, everything like that, but i was a wreck the first time i was working a line. she, you know, made me a drink to calm me down before service. so the next week i go in and it's me and the chef, we have a drink before service. pretty soon, the whole kitchen, that was the whole thing. >> jimmy: you pulled the whole staff into alcoholism. >> just the kitchen staff, you know? >> jimmy: is the place still open? >> no, oddly enough. >> jimmy: well -- wow. you devastated an eating
12:45 am
establishment. so, you've now worked in your husband's restaurant -- >> it's a very, very different kitchen. that he runs. he runs the classic french fine dining kitchen. there is no talking, though chaft i chatting. >> jimmy: does he yell? >> oh, god, yeah. we had a stainless steel cutting board, counter, and it was all dented up because he would bang a pepper mill on it. >> jimmy: oh, he's one of those -- >> very french. >> jimmy: does he do that at home? >> no, he knows better. >> jimmy: okay, good. that's probably good. "star trek" fans still chase you around and -- because -- do you go to the conventions? i couldn't do them for quite a few years because i had stalker issues but now they've beefed up security for me. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's really fun. >> jimmy: they set their phasers to kill.
12:46 am
oh, so, you had -- oh, wow, you had "star trek" stalkers. >> two actual stalkers. >> jimmy: and so now you go and you'll participate in this -- >> you go and you talk on stage and answer questions and the fans are so passion gnate and ll they are good people. >> jimmy: as long as security is around, sure. >> yes. >> jimmy: dana delany was here, your co-star, last week, and she brought some of the most horrible things that i've seen many my life. >> come on. that's good stuff. >> jimmy: she brought eye balls. you like that stuff? >> i love the guts. >> jimmy: you guys use it on set. you do? >> that's the best part of the show. i love it. >> jimmy: you like working with guts? what is going on over there? all these women are -- >> this is the only show you can work on where you are sitting in the makeup trailer and somebody goes, we need another bucket of pus. that is a direct quote from "body of proof." it's awesome. >> jimmy: don't take that to the restaurant. that's one tradition you don't
12:47 am
want to carry over there. and -- you're enjoying that. >> i get to watch autopsies. >> jimmy: i wouldn't want to watch that. because there's dead people involved. >> there are. interestingly enough. one of our technical advisers last season in rhode island, which is where we were shooting, is a man and so he was there assisting in both autopsies i got to watch. both were men. and so you have to remove all of the organs in an autopsy. once the chest cavity is completely empty, you remove the testicles. that's the male sex organ. it's fascinating. once the chest cavity is empty and doctor was a female, you just take them and they pop inside out and it's like an egg and just pops right out. fascinating. our technical adviser who does this professionally for a living and does those of these a year, both times, can i stand up? >> jimmy: yeah. >> both times when they got to
12:48 am
that point, he's over here in the corner going -- and had no idea he did it and the doctor said he does it for every single one and he had no idea. >> jimmy: you always have compassion nor yofor your best . great to see you. thank you for coming. it smells good in here all of a sudden. like garlic. jeri ryan, everybody. "body of proof" airs tuesdays at 10:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with t-pain. [ men grunting ] [ male announcer ] sweat... it raised monuments... ♪ ...discovered new worlds... ♪ ...and redefined music. ♪ it gave man wings... ♪ ...and took us all to the moon. ♪ great things can come out of sweat,
12:49 am
so don't let odor stop you. ♪ gillette odor shield. turns odor into freshness. [ coughs, sniffles ] especially when you're sick. now, with new simpler packaging, robitussin® makes it simple to get the right relief for your symptoms. new simpler packaging, same effective relief. robitussin®. relief made simple. hey, two tickets just opened up on the 50. ...yup, about to go pick them up from will call. so 46 seconds ago. did you guys hear that chapman rolled his ankle? done. get out there. so 12 seconds ago. you guys know how to post videos to facebook? you guys know how to post videos to facebook? you guys hear, someone stole... ...stole the other team's mascot? [ tiger growling ]
12:50 am
so 27 seconds ago. [ male announcer ] stay a step ahead with 4g lte. with speeds up to 10x faster than 3g. at&t. the western, egg & cheese, december's featured $5 footlong™. with eggs, black forest ham, and cheese, it's available for breakfast and all day along with our many $5 footlongs™! subway. eat fresh®. along with our many $5 footlongs™! by the hand-selected wood trim... the 38 1/2 inches of legroom... and the reclinable, heated napa leather seats inside the jeep grand cherokee, just wait until we tell you about the heated and ventilated front seats.
12:51 am
♪ ♪
12:52 am
12:53 am
[ sniffing ] ...something wonderful is as near as your nose. ♪ ♪ just pop up pop tarts. sprinkled with joy and frosted with fun... [ laughs ] ...they make ordinary extraordinary.
12:54 am
[ cheering ] so you can make any day joylicious! and...an apology card. this is ridiculous. yeah, and it's got apps. nice. it's got vudu, twitter, facebook. no honey, not facebook. ♪ honey, you think my sweater's horrendous? cats don't skate. i think it kicks butt. [ male announcer ] get low prices on the gifts they love, like lg tvs with the latest technology. backed by our christmas price guarantee. save money. live better. walmart. 's's's's's's'sr christmas price guarantee. new baked pasta romanas. ruffled pasta, layered with creamy fontina and asiago cheeses, and oven-baked just for you.
12:55 am
try it with pan seared chicken with toscano tomatoes. or, try it with braised beef. for a limited time, only at olive garden. are choosing advil. i'm keith baraka and i'm a firefighter. and it's very physically demanding. if i'm sore i'm not at my best. advil is my go-to. it's my number one pain reliever. [ male announcer ] make the switch. take action. take advil.
12:56 am
12:57 am
>> jimmy: this is his new album. it's called "revolver." it came out today.
12:58 am
here with is song "drowning again" -- t-pain. ♪ ♪ waves upon waves keep me down and i can't get ♪ ♪ to the top but when i get there i'll still be nowhere 'cause i can't find ♪ ♪ the one i love and if i make it out then we should talk about how you left me ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah
12:59 am
♪ just how you left me drowning again yeah drowning again yeah drowning again yeah ♪ ♪ you should come see how good it would be to come drown with me oh oh oh ♪ ♪ oh oh oh days upon days i've been floatin and you don't care ♪ ♪ if i die tonight but when i'm deceased
1:00 am
i hope you will be dying next to me ♪ ♪ and my boat of regret and before we go i just want my baby to know how it would be to be ♪ ♪ drowning again yeah drowning again yeah drowning again yeah you should come see ♪ ♪ how good it would be hey ya woah
1:01 am
yeah ♪ ♪ woo ♪ oooh yeah drowning again [ woman ] my boyfriend and i were going on vacation,
1:02 am
so i used my citi thank you card to pick up some accessories. a new belt. some nylons. and what girl wouldn't need new shoes? we talked about getting a diamond. but with all the thank you points i've been earning... ♪ ...i flew us to the rock i really had in mind. ♪ [ male announcer ] the citi thank you card. earn points you can use for travel on any airline, with no blackout dates. earn points you can use for travel on any airline,
1:03 am
sometimes you want to give your immune system some support. try new airborne chewable tablets. each serving contains 14 vitamins, minerals and herbs... including zinc, echinacea, ginger, and a blast of vitamin c. it's the easy, great-tasting way to help support your immune system. airborne. in fast-acting effervescent formula, and new super-convenient chewable tablets!
1:04 am
>> jimmy: i want to thank armie hammer. i want to thank jeri ryan. i want to apologize to matt dam damon. tomorrow night, jane fonda, russell brand and music from lukas nelson and promise of the real. "revolver" is out now. playing us off the air with "5:00," once again, t-pain. good night! ♪ ♪ it's 5:00 in the morning conversation got boring you said you're ♪ ♪ going to bed soon so i snuck off to your bedroom and i thought i'd ♪ ♪ just wait there ah until i heard you come up the stairs ♪ ♪ ah and i pretended i was sleeping

160 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on