tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 18, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST
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morning america." they're working while you're sleeping. we're always online at abcnews.com. jimmy kimmel is up next. stay tuned for that. and have a great weekend. tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> here we are with a recap of tonight's "jersey shore." please welcome gary oldman. >> dancing in the club, snooki accidentally pees on herself. >> tim and eric. >> when you show this to an audience, what kind of response do you get? >> 25% walkout rate. >> and music from korn. >> this time around, the super bowl isn't just for heterosexuals. madonna is doing the halftime show this year.
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>> jimmy: hi. i'm jimmy kimmel. with my pal, guillermo, with a word about belvita breakfast biscuits. maybe it's time we try something new for breakfast. >> why, jimmy? i love to eat my diabeteos. >> and i movely colonel fatso's. but belvita gives you energy for the whole morning. let's give them a try, shall we?
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what did you say? >> i said, wow. light, sweet, crunchy. and i taste the wholesome ingredients. >> jimmy: why, yes, guillermo. you do. [ laughter ] >> belvita breakfast biscuits are very, very good. good-bye, cookies and doughnuts and grapes. good-bye, marshmallow birthday bites. good-bye sugar monkey butts. hello belvita breakfast biscuits. >> dicky: belvita, part of a new kind of breakfast. power up, people. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes, with gary oldman. tim and eric. minutes, with gary oldman. tim and eric. and music from korn. brbiscuits. e new belvia they give you energy that lasts all morning. suspect is heading south.
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freeze. stand back kids. [ grunting ] [ ray ] belvita is a new kind of breakfast that gives us the energy to serve and protect. this milk is expired. [ ray ] this sleepy town has never been safer. ohhh, i got one in my mouth! [ ray ] 18 grams of whole grain specially baked for nutritious sustained energy. belvita, there's a new kind of breakfast in the cookie aisle. i love the fact that quicken loans provides va loans. quicken loans understood all the details and guided me through every step of the process. i know wherever the military sends me, i can depend on quicken loans. wherever the military sends me, so, this is my honda civic. not as much fun to drive as i thought it would be. people are selling their old des, looking for something new. whoa, check this out, you guys.
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they are having way too much fun without me. i need better gas mileage. so, up, up to 40 on the highway? then myford touch just said the temperature. she listened. she did listen. now, get a focus with up to $1500 cash back. get into the new at your local ford dealer today. out with the old, in with the new. we're the new. when it comes to paint... ...there's one brand that always tops the charts. so let's grab a few of those gallons- at a price that's now even lower. 'cause when we mix behr ultra paint and primer in one... ...with a few hours... ...we get more than just color... ...we get top-rated coverage. the kind wakes up walls, and reinvents rooms. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. behr ultra paint and primer in one now starts at just $29.38, it's lowest price ever. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live."
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tonight -- gary oldman. tim and eric. and music from korn. with cleto and the cletones. and now, tell you what, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you. hi. how are you? that's very nice. [ cheers and applause ] i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate -- hey. now that we're all here, we can get to the bottom of this. in case you're unaware -- in case you're underwear -- [ laughter ] sunday is super bowl sunday. the super bowl is on sunday. that means there's only a few days left to inflate your
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furniture. [ laughter ] of course, the new england patriots face off against the new york giants, in what experts believe could be one of the biggest games of the year. [ laughter ] this time around, the super bowl isn't just for heterosexuals. madonna is doing the halftime show this year. [ laughter ] it's either -- it's either madonna or the lady gaga wearing madonna's flesh. i'm not certain. [ laughter ] to me, the best part of the super bowl is the gambling on it. and don't forget, if you don't buy a super bowl square, then you are one. that's right. there's all sorts of unusual bets you can make on the super bowl. they call them prop bets. you can bet what color of gatorade the winning team will dump on the coach. you can bet on whether madonna is going microphone or headset? i'm betting all my money in the world on a headset. in the old days, in 2004, people would get very excited about the super bowl commercials because it was the only place you could
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see talking babies or frogs that drink beer. but now on youtube, you can see it every day. we've been working pretty hard to come up with a fun way to combine the super bowl magic with the magic of youtube. and from time to time, i issue challenges to our viewers. i ask you to chip in for a change because, quite frankly, you do nothing. [ laughter ] i ask you to pull a prank on your friends or loved ones. in october, i asked parents to trick their kids into thinking they'd eaten all their halloween candy. and that worked out well. >> i ate all your halloween candy last night. >> jimmy: and then, in december, we asked parents to give their kids a crappy christmas gift. and that was a hit. >> you're stupid. i hate you. i hate you. >> jimmy: but this time, we're going to leave the kids alone. and we're going to torment fellow adults. what i'd like you to do on sunday, if you're watching the super bowl with a big football fan, or better yet, a lot of big
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football fans, i'd like you to wait for a key moment in the game. and just before that key moment, i would like you to unplug the television set. [ cheers and applause ] and i want you to videotape it. make sure your video camera is pointed at them and not the tv, so we can get their faces with all of the screaming. then, i'd like you to upload the video to youtube, with the title, "hey jimmy kimmel, i unplugged the tv during the game." that's the way we'll find it. and we'll show the angriest people we can find on our show on monday night. our lawyers have asked you not to harm anyone, not to damage any property, or kill anyone. "hey jimmy kimmel, i unplugged the tv during the game." let's do this. let's ruin the super bowl for everyone. okay? [ cheers and applause ] this idea, originally -- during the "survivor" finale,
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season one, a lot of people in my family were, for some reason, very interested in the outcome. and my cousin sal had a party at his house. and he did this. right before the big finale, he yanked the plug out. and everybody was really mad. it was another episode of "jersey shore" on mtv. to honor black history month, tonight, the kids stayed in their tanning beds for an extra two hours. [ laughter ] snooki had a special episode. snooki had a urinary tract infection. then, she had sex with it, which is unbelievable. the show continues to amaze. every week, they set the bar lower. and every week, they somehow get under that bar. tonight, it was particularly low-brow. we took a synopsis of the show. they write the summary of the show up in "tv guide" or something. these are things that really happened in one hour tonight. and we've asked one of our guests, a great actor and an academy award nominee to read it for us.
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and here, now, with a recap of tonight's "jersey shore," please welcome, gary oldman. gary? [ cheers and applause ] >> the roommates take vinny to a party at karma, for his first night back. while dancing in the club, snooki accidentally pees on herself. [ laughter ] she sprays perfume on herself and calls it a shore shower. the next day, snooki wears two sets of underwear to dinner, as a precaution. [ laughter ] deena gets electrocuted plugging her hair dryer. snooki comes out of the bathroom and announces that she's not washing her hands. deena says, yeah, i never do. [ laughter ] snooki is convinced that she has a urinary tract infection.
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snooki pees in the backyard. mike claims he's the nicest out of everyone this year. while he says this, his shorts are open. jwoww says she saw his wiener hanging out. [ laughter ] the gang plays a prank on snooki. so, she puts a booger in mike's mouth while he sleeps. [ laughter ] snooki's dad stops by. she tells him she has an infection. she sends him out to get cranberry juice. the end. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gary oldman, everyone. gary oldman. thank you, gary.
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the show sounds, like, kind of stupid when you hear it like that, right? [ laughter ] i feel sorry for snooki's father. cranberry is not the kind of juice you want to give to your little girl, just in general. by the way, in case you're wondering, this is what snooki's father looks like. [ laughter ] the oompa doesn't fall far from the loompa. tonight's episode of "jersey shore" was so remarkable, with the peeing and the picking and the drinking, it isn't something you want young girls to see. so, we removed all the offensive video of the show, and replaced it with footage from "the power puff girls" cartoon. and i think you'll agree, it's a lot more palatable. >> i got excited dancing with my girls. and i legit peed myself. >> oh, my god. peeing on the dance floor. it's crazy. >> the fact that i peeed myself at the club. something funky's going on. i can't control my bladder. >> it hurts like balls. >> i think i have a uti right now because i have to pee every
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two seconds. uti stands for urinary tract infection. i'm not washing my hands. >> i have to pee. i'm going to pee outside. >> you're peeing? all the bathrooms are taken. i don't [ bleep ]. don't call me dirty. i'm not dirty. i smell phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. in las vegas today, donald trump made a surprise endorsement of mitt romney for president. of course, there's this is huge for romney because, as goes trump, so goes meatloaf. and donald made the endorsement. and mitt climbed into donald's golden helicopter, and they flew around the country, dropping silver dollars on the homeless and unemployed. today was day two of black history month. i have to be honest, black history month can be a little uncomfortable for white people. i know this because i'm white on my father's side. and also on my mother's side. [ laughter ] but it can be awkward because bringing it up might seem racist.
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but not mentioning it might seem rude. so, here at the show, we have it figured out. we know how to do it. so, to help you at your office, i have asked our staff today. these are real members of our staff, to give you a quick primer on how it's supposed to go. >> hey, girlfriend. >> hey. >> yogurt. that's what i'm talking about. high-five. up top. come on. yes. yogurt. >> i am so sorry for everything. you're so brave. >> i was just listening to some jay-z. superb beats. am i right? [ laughter ] keep it real. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. or you could just say hi.
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this is stupid. there's a new tradition online. it's somewhat like planking and flash mobbing. but this one is called cat breading. the idea of cat breading is, you get a piece of bread and you put it on your cat's head. look how happy the cats are to be a part of it. i guess it's been going on for a little while. but it really took off online this week. it's very popular. this is -- this has to go over big in third-world countries, right? you know how you're starving? well, check this out. we have so much bread, we decorate our cats with it. [ laughter ] while cat breading may be fun, it robs our pets of their dignity. and today, they got together to release this sharply-worded psa. >> you taught us how to flush the toilet. play the piano. and use an ipad. we crawled into a box. a suitcase. a hamster ball. and even walked on a treadmill.
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but this is [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] we're not your sandwich patties. we're cats. this is our uncle. we'll push you down the stairs. [ laughter ] paid for by youtube cats. >> jimmy: i don't blame them. [ cheers and applause ] you know, regularly, if you watch our show with any regularity, you know we feature a segment every thursday night called "this week in unnecessary censorship." we bleep people who aren't cursing, to make them seem like they are cursing. it's a juvenile thing we've been doing for the last 13 weeks in a row. and apparently we've done it so much, that local tv personalities like our friends here in los angeles, are starting to anticipate it. >> coming up, i have found a car -- i'm not going to lie. i want to lick it. it's pretty. >> wow. >> hey, ally.
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will you? >> maybe i will. >> good. stay tuned. can't wait. thank you, ally. >> you guys just made jimmy kimmel next thursday. you know she wants the beep when she licks it, you know? >> jimmy: maybe he's right. let's find out now. it's thursday night. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> this campaign is about more than placing a president. it's about [ bleep ] the [ bleep ] of america. >> [ bleep ] the nation with bob sheffert. >> we heard early in the week that you were getting ready to [ bleep ] someone. are you going to [ bleep ] someone? >> which football player did kim kardashian [ bleep ]? >> which team? or which player? >> all we've been hearing about was blake griffin's monster [ bleep ] in the face of kendrick perkins. >> my job and your job is to [ bleep ] up phil. what are we going to do? we have to [ bleep ] up phil.
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>> "x-factor's" bloodbath. did simon [ bleep ] half the cast? >> i rode a very big [ bleep ]. >> it has a usb port on the back of the television. you can stick your [ bleep ] in there to give you photos. >> it doesn't matter anyway. you're going to eat my [ bleep ]. >> i'm eating my own [ bleep ]. >> not if i eat it first. >> hugging the babies. or [ bleep ] a lot of barnacles. >> i just [ bleep ] a car. i'm not going to lie. i want to lick it. it's pretty. >> wow. >> wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. we've got a good show for you tonight. the very crazy tim and eric are here. we have music from korn. and we'll be right back with oscar nominee gary oldman. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] i'm wiz khalifa a lot of people don't get the chance to hang around me and see who i really am. i think people are getting the hang of me. most important to me is staying normal,
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tonight on the program, two exceptionally funny men. they just made their first film called, "tim and eric's billion dollar movie." it's currently available on demand and opens in theaters march 2nd. tim and eric are with us. [ cheers and applause ] and then, with music from this, their latest album called, "the path of totality," korn from the bud light outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we'll be joined on the show by l.l. cool j., courteney cox will be here, academy award nominee michelle williams, josh hutcherson will be here. from "mob wives," big ang will be here. pitbull, and far east movement, and 50 cent and tony bennett. 50 cent and tony bennett will not be performing together. yeah. it's hard to believe, but after brilliantly portraying lee harvey oswald, sid vicious, beethoven, dracula, commissioner gordon, our first guest had never received an oscar nomination until this year. he earned it for his performance in the thriller "tinker tailor
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soldier spy." it is in theaters now. please say hello to gary oldman. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. thank you for reading for us. i hope that "jersey shore" thing doesn't hurt your oscar chances. >> it might. >> jimmy: it might. have you seen the show "jersey shore"? >> no. i caught half an hour of it recently in france. >> jimmy: really? >> it was dubbed -- it was obviously in french. but it was in black and white. it was a masterpiece. i've never -- i don't know who these people are. who is j -- >> jimmy: jwoww? >> jwoww. >> jimmy: well, she's one of the kids that live in the house. i don't know if they're kids. they behave like children. but they're adults that live in a house in new jersey. some of them are italian.
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and some of them pretending to be italian. >> and they pee themselves? >> jimmy: they sometimes do pee on themselves, yeah. i would love to sit and watch the whole series with you. >> that would be fun. you have a date. >> jimmy: i can explain everything that happens. sadly. i was shocked when i heard, today, that this is your first oscar nomination. that's crazy to me. you should have like 11 of them. >> oh. you're very kind. [ cheers and applause ] i'm happy to get this one. and i'm enjoying the ride. >> jimmy: i would think so. you must have been annoyed that you just now got one, right? i mean, let's be honest here. >> you know, i've never really -- i've never really sort of put myself out there. i like -- i'm quite private. i like my sort of hidey hole. i like disappearing. >> jimmy: i see. >> and you've got to work it a little. >> jimmy: yeah, you do.
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you have to kind of sell yourself and market yourself. >> you know, but i'm proud to do it with this one because i like the movie so much. and so, i'm honored to be out here for "tinker tailor." >> jimmy: of all of your great movies, which one are you most surprised you didn't get an oscar nomination for? [ laughter ] >> i don't think like that. >> jimmy: you don't? i do, constantly. [ laughter ] i think about it for you. >> i thought dracula was a good turn. >> jimmy: dracula was great. i love that movie. i love that one. i really do. i've seen that movie like 11 times. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. dracul. when you get the news that you were nominated, were you in los angeles? >> fittingly, i was in berlin. and i was in the middle of what i thought would be my last interview for "tinker tailor." and my manager came in and said, congratulations, you've been nominated for an oscar.
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and it was -- i mean, to get nominated for playing george smiley, and hearing about it in berlin, which -- you know, the part it played in the cold war. this is arguably the mecca for spies. so, it was really the most fitting place. >> jimmy: and smiley is kind of like the thinking man's bond. this is a character that's famous from books, or a thinking spy's bond, i should say. >> he's the polar opposite of bond. he's the man in the mack, who you would pass in the street and not look at twice. whereas, what -- it always struck me that he announces who he is everywhere he goes. [ laughter ] and to the villain, to the guy who wants to kill him. and he wears a white tuxedo. where is bond? he's that guy. he just pulled up in the aston martin.
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>> jimmy: he's signing autographs in front of the hotel. >> i always found that strange. >> jimmy: i guess it is unbelievable, if you put it that way. >> bond, kill me. >> jimmy: that's how confident he was, i guess. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who will you take to the oscars with you? >> i'm taking my wife. >> jimmy: did you have any other family members jockeying for that position? >> oh, yes. they've been, you know, chip chumping at the reins since '76. >> jimmy: how old are your kids? >> 12, nearly 15, and alfie is 23. >> jimmy: are you involved in their daily lives? or do you have servants that take care of that for you? >> i'm very much there, hands-on. for the last ten years, really, i was a single dad. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i'm -- >> jimmy: so, you drive them to school and do all that stuff? >> yeah. the pressure's off me a little because i've remarried. and that -- that's working out
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great. >> jimmy: that is working out well? >> it is. >> jimmy: that's good news. it would be weird place to say it wasn't. >> right here, yeah. >> jimmy: right here. right now. what do the other parents think when dracula drops the kids off at school? and commissioner gordon comes around? >> it's a kind of version of -- i think people think they're going to meet a version of dracula or lee harvey oswald. here's a funny story that a friend of mine's kids was a boisterous young boy. you know, he was -- and now, they like to give you -- they want to give you medication. >> jimmy: right. >> he was a young -- just a young man. you know, 6 years old. and he had a lot of chutzpah in him. anyway, they brought the parents in and said, we're very worried about him because he believes that lee harvey oswald is living at your house. and i was staying at their house at the time. and my friend said, yeah, he is.
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[ laughter ] he's got quite an imagination, your son. >> jimmy: and a real sense of history, for a young boy. >> yeah. so, i do the round. i take the kids to school. and i've become one of the honorary mothers. >> jimmy: you have? >> yes. because i was the only dad there at one time. and these lovely ladies, you know, called me over and said, you know, come and be one of us. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. so, i'm -- >> jimmy: what do you do with them? do you dress like them? >> only at night. [ laughter ] yes. lisa and barbara. >> jimmy: lisa and barbara. >> they've been very supportive and great. they're dear, dear friends. and they've made me an honorary member of the mothers club. so, when they have the mothers get together, they always call
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me and i join in. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. that's crazy. >> i don't drag up. >> jimmy: do you drink coffee and complain about men? what goes on? >> yeah. the magazines. i catch up on the kardashians. >> jimmy: see? them, you know. jwoww, not as much. we'll catch you up to speed on all this stuff. gary oldman is here. his movie is called "tinker tailor soldier spy." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] what do you get when you combine the home depot with this weekend? the cure for cabin fever. because with get-it-done savings on everything we need... we can turn this weekend into a fresh floor... or an updated bathroom... or a brand-new look. so let's hit those orange aisles, and make today the day, we make a big difference, no matter how big our budget. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot maximize your budget with great buys, like mosaic tile, just $4.98 per square foot.
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[siri] where are directions to santa cto santa cruz.a? where's the best bbq in kansas city? is there a rodeo in amarillo today? where are we? [siri] here's your current location. how big is the grand canyon? any gas stations we can walk to? [siri] i found 2 gas stations fairly close to you. what does orion look like? [siri] i found this for you. remind me to do this again. [siri] okay, i'll remind you.
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you're going to do something for me, peter. i need the duty officer's logbook from last sunday. we're going to have to throw you after all out into the lion's den. if you're caught, you can't mention me. i'm sorry. you're alone. >> jimmy: that is gary oldman in "tinker tailor soldier spy." that's a good movie. i wouldn't even begin to try to explain this film. you spoke a little bit about
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smiley. george smiley, your spy character. he keeps his emotions. >> he's one of those. he's very -- he's very ground in emotionally. a great read of people. i sort of envisioned him as -- i saw him like an owl. like a wise, old owl. he sees everything and hears everything. >> jimmy: does that make it difficult to play when you're playing a character that doesn't reveal much about himself at all? >> you know, it was a relief. >> jimmy: it was? >> it was a relief. after, you know, i've been an actor for 33 years. 25 of them in film. and i've -- i mean, i've been asked to play the characters that express themselves emotionally in a very big way. i mean, i've bounced off the walls in a few. >> jimmy: sure, yeah. i think today happens to be the 30th anniversary, i could be mistaken, of sid vicious' death. >> it slipped my mind. >> jimmy: you don't have a thing? >> it's not something i think
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about. poor sid. he was only 21. >> jimmy: and this is one of your great characters, from the movie "true romance." drexl spivey. that's great. >> that was done -- there's a story behind this. >> jimmy: what is the story behind this? >> i was filming -- i was doing a movie called "romeo's bleeding." and i was out in the desert on sunday night. and monday morning, we went back to l.a. and on the monday morning, i started playing that guy. and tony scott, who directed the movie, had not seen me. we had only spoken over the phone. and i said, let me put a little something together. i'll put the -- i went to the guy who made the wigs for "dracula." and he made me that thing in about 48 hours. and i had gold teeth. and i got an eye, one of the eyes from dracula, a milky eye and a scar. and i arrived on set. and tony took one look at me and
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said, yep, yep, yep. okay. sit there. and then, we were off. but i was already morphing. at the very end of "romeo's bleeding," there's a shot where i walk from a diner to a gas pump. and if you look closely, i've already got the swagger. i'm already -- >> jimmy: you should do that at the end of every movie. just start moving on to the next character. >> yeah. i like that. >> jimmy: a little touch. >> it's what i do. [ laughter ] the director's like -- well, jimmy told me i could do it. >> jimmy: director be damned. well, i tell you what. it's great to have you here. the movie is terrific. and of course, you're terrific in it, as you are in pretty much everything. and we look forward to -- february 26th, the oscars, right across the street from us. >> across -- >> jimmy: are you working on your speech? >> i'll have to. >> jimmy: yeah. you will have to. don't be one of those guys.
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the big-time with their first future-length film. it's called "tim and eric's billion dollar movie." you can see it now on video on demand or starting march 2nd in theaters. please welcome, hollywood stars, tim and eric. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] wow. hold on. look at this. that is unbelievable. wow. have you been souvenir shopping on hollywood boulevard? >> no. we just came from the preliminary academy awards, which we just cleaned up. >> jimmy: wow. i didn't realize you were nominated. which categories did you win for?
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>> best picture. best directing. most handsome actors. >> most creative performance. most comedic duo. guys -- the guys that are most fun to hang around with on set. >> jimmy: you won that? >> this one right here. yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations. i'm very proud of you guys. [ cheers and applause ] it's kind of weird. they say rental on the bottom. >> it shouldn't say that, yeah. >> this has been a lifelong dream of ours to win this many academy awards. and gary oldman's back there. he's drooling. >> jimmy: yeah. i didn't know they gave awards out before the movie came out. >> this is a little hollywood secret, jimmy. as you know -- or maybe you don't. the big hollywood show they do at the end of the month, which is the oscars, gets a lot of attention. but the real deal is the prelims. this is when all the people come out, all of the hollywood
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community comes out and salute each other. >> jimmy: well, congratulations. wonderful. [ cheers and applause ] now, you guys must have -- your movie premiered at the sundance film festival, which had to be a thrill for you. i mean, it was the -- you know. it seems like you're being very careless with your oscars here. that had to be a thrill, huh? >> yeah. it was great until we got there and we learned we had been rango'd. >> jimmy: you what? >> i don't want to get into it. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> you know, we worked really hard to make this movie. took a lot of energy. a lot of great people worked on it. as we're on our way to sundance, to premiere the film, we get a call, that says they're going to be rango'ing the film. you know the movie "rango," the animated film with johnny depp. >> jimmy: yeah. >> to promote the dvd, they would be interspersing the film in our film.
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>> as a marketing ploy to boost dvd sales. but this is our passion, our project movie. we went crazy. we went to twitter. and we released robert redford's home phone number. we asked our fans, please call robert. please de-rango our film. it's very important. >> de-rango the movie. all we ask is that take out the scenes. take them out of the movie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> at the last minute, they took them out. it was really sweet. my mother was crying. and everybody was just crying. >> jimmy: the power of social media, i guess. >> they're trying to rango it again. >> jimmy: you can't allow that to happen. can you sue them? >> yes. and we have. and we lost. >> jimmy: now, when people see this movie. i saw the movie today. and i thought it was very, very funny. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: i laughed very hard through it. i winced a couple of times. but i mostly laughed through it. when you show this to an audience, what kind of response do you get? >> well, at sundance, it was
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mixed, to be honest with you. after the first screening, i was in the lobby. and a large, older woman ran out with her two daughters and looked at me and said, you call this creativity? i spent money on this bull [ bleep ]. and i said, would you mind if i just film you doing this? so, it's not for everyone. >> 25% walkout rate. >> jimmy: really? is that high? >> that's about average. most movies -- how many people here have gone to see a movie before in the theaters? anybody? >> a lot of people. >> a lot of people. and some people walk out, right? usually, 25% of people walk out. >> jimmy: somewhere like that. >> it's -- people have a lot of things to do. so, they want to move on. >> jimmy: you guys -- you've done something pretty big. you were hired to do promos for the super bowl, which is a pretty big thing and a great thing, right? >> we're huge football guys. >> jimmy: you are? i never would have imagined that you were big football guys. >> absolutely. when abc came to us -- >> nbc. >> nbc.
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yeah. take two? >> jimmy: it's -- we're just rolling here. there's no real editing or anything like that. >> cut. >> that's actually a signal. if everybody can just rewind. >> jimmy: they can't -- if they rewound, they would just see the same thing again anyway. but as far as nbc, approached you and asked you to do this? >> nbc says, you guys are buzz guys on the net. can you whip up us some promos for the family? for sports guys? we said, absolutely, we can do our best. >> jimmy: uh-huh. is it okay if we show them? >> you have to ask nbc. but they said -- these aren't going to air. >> jimmy: they're not airing these? >> they said they're a little controversial. i don't know why. >> jimmy: we can air them here, then. let's have a look. >> coming this sunday -- >> hey, gang. hey, everybody. this sunday is a new game called super bowl, starring two football teams for the best in the country. >> we're so excited. we're touching tips.
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one man helmet to another man's helmet. full contact. >> tip-to-tip. >> we're touching tips. >> only on nbc. >> jimmy: i'm surprised they didn't like that. [ cheers and applause ] i think that's -- >> i don't know. >> jimmy: how many promos did you wind up doing? >> we did three. >> jimmy: do we have -- could we have a look at -- let's take a look at one more. >> coming this sunday -- >> knock, knock. who's there? it's called super bowl sunday. that's what's happening on sunday. >> we're going to get a touchdown. >> put the pigskin right here and get the touchdown. try doing it on your own. >> go for it. >> i'll bet one of the teams are going to win. >> touchdown. >> watch [ bleep ]. watch the super bowl or you're all going to die. watch the super bowl or you're all going to die. >> why not, huh? >> only on nbc. >> jimmy: wow.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: i think we have one more. just one more promo, i'm told. >> this one is a little strange. >> coming this sunday -- only on nbc. >> jimmy: wow. i like it. >> i don't know why people wouldn't watch it. >> jimmy: but your movie. >> yes. our movie is on demand right now. you can watch it right this second. >> jimmy: you're asking people to sign a pledge, correct? >> yes. i noticed you haven't signed one yet. >> jimmy: i saw the movie. do i need to sign it? >> you need to because you probably didn't follow the rules. >> jimmy: i didn't follow the rules. >> we're asking everybody to sign the tim and eric pledge. go to facebook.com. it's right on the home page of facebook. >> jimmy: is it really? >> i think so. >> you download our pledge. and you pledge that you will not pirate this movie.
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you will rent it. you will tell your friends about it. and go to the theater. jimmy, we need you to pledge right now. will you do it? >> jimmy: movie release. one member of my family or close friend. i also pledge not to see the movie called "lorax," which looks bad. [ laughter ] i pledge to see the movie in the theater that's playing within 50 miles of my location. if i can't see it in the theater, i pledge order it on demand through my cable provider. i pledge never to never bit torrent, or steal, no matter what my friends. anybody who does take the billion dollar movie, i pledge to call police and tell the authorities. i pledge to tell a minimum of four people -- >> just sign it. >> jimmy: i'll sign it. there you go. and i'm going to date it, too. very good. i'm part of the team. >> we got it. he pledged. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "tim and eric's billion dollar movie" is on video on demand. and in theaters march 2nd. take the pledge.
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the life i made ♪ ♪ everything's wrong every time ♪ ♪ pushing on i can't escape ♪ ♪ everything that comes my way ♪ ♪ is haunting me taking its sweet time ♪ ♪ holding on i'm lost in a haze ♪ ♪ fighting life to the end of my days ♪ ♪ don't wanna be rude but i have to ♪ ♪ nothing's good about the hell you put me through ♪ ♪ i just need to look around ♪ ♪ see that life that has come unbound ♪ ♪ and you're so cynical narcissistic cannibal ♪ ♪ got to bring myself back from the dead ♪ ♪ sometimes i hate the life i made ♪ ♪ everything's wrong
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