tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 26, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT
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morning america." we are always online at abcnews.com. jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you here monday. have a happy holiday weekend, everyone. tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- dr. phil mcgraw. >> key to my success has been my willingness to humiliate myself at any time. >> "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> this show is going to make you want to [ bleep ] your tv screen. >> and carrie underwood. ♪ that's not his truck ♪ and next time you think before you freak ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word from coke zero. real coke taste, zero calories. you can have it all. right guillermo? >> right, jimmy. >> jimmy: guillermo was at the premiere of the movie "battleship." who did you get to talk to? >> oh, with brooklyn decker. >> jimmy: who else? >> leon nelson. and a guy named peter. >> jimmy: when you see leon nelson, do you mean liam knee essential? and the director peter berg, too, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: luckily, our cameras were there. let's have a look. >> hi, it's me, guillermo, i'm here at the premiere of "battleship" and coke zero sent me over here to look for secret hidden can of coke zero during
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the interview. yeah! hi, how are you? >> good, how are you? >> wow. you are no joke. >> yeah. >> that's legit. >> yeah. >> looks legit. >> you think i'm in a good shape to be in this movie? >> ah, no. >> no? >> no. >> hold the mike. hold on. tell me about this movie. help me -- >> why do you do this to us, jim mi ? they scare off. >> they need explosions. >> then they both kiss. >> okay. >> they kiss harder, and then they mount each other. >> and then what happens? >> they make love and they have baby boats. >> do you die in this movie? >> ah -- >> that's a yes. that's a yes right there. >> is it? >> yeah. >> can you find the can? real coke taste, zero calories. you can have it all. why do the aliens want to kill us? why? >> because we suck. >> you think so? no, we're very friendly. we're very nice. >> we're not really.
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>> but -- no, not the kardashians, but everybody, we're very friendly. >> thank you mr. leo nelson. can i give you a hug? >> sure. >> dicky: coke zero. zero calories, all the taste. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with dr. phil mcgraw and "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with dr. phil mcgraw and carrie underwood. what do you think they want? everything. ♪ (sfx: can opening) just give it to them... aflac! ha! isn't major medical enough? huh! no! who's gonna help cover the holes in their plans?
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aflac! quack! like medical bills they don't pay for? afla or help pay thmortgage? quack! or child care? quack! aflaaac! and everyday expenses? huh?! blurlbrlblrlbr!!! [ thlurp! ] aflac! [ male announcer ] help your family stay afloat at aflac.com. plegh! aren't just a "show." [ sizzling ] there's a reason that sound instantly starts up the waterworks in your mouth.
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[ sizzling ] it's the sound of flavor erupting, as freshly prepared ingredients sear, simmer, and caramelize, right there at your table. but, hey...it is a pretty good show. i'll have that. [ male announcer ] try our new sizzling entrees! like the double barrel whisky sirloin, the new sizzling n'awlins skillet, and more. starting at just $9.99. only at applebee's. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- dr. phil mcgraw. and carrie underwood. with cleto and the cletones. and now, so there's no confusion, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. thank you, cleto. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it is -- [ applause ] it's a pleasure to have you here. do we have any mothers in the audience tonight? any moms? [ applause ] thank you for abandoning your children to be here tonight. happy early mother's day. as you probably know, mother's day is on sunday. really, this is the time of year when it pays to live next door to a cemetery. free flowers, you know? "time" magazine has a controversial new cover. they put it out for mother's day. this is what it looks like after our top-notch network sensors got ahold of it. they put a black circle over the kid's face and the side of the woman's breast, which makes a lot of sense. just for the record, i want to show you. this is okay. this -- not okay. unacceptable. and these people are paid to make decisions like that.
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anyway, that's a real mom, feeding her 3-year-old son. either that or it was a terrible super glue accident. [ laughter ] that's some picture, though. especially if you see it without the thing. you know, if you close your eyes, you can already see that kid getting stuffed into his high school locker. what happens when it's her turn to provide refreshment at the kid's soccer game? all right, boys, gather around, we're going to -- [ laughter ] it's strange, but -- don't look at it as the source of future humiliation for the boy. try to look at it as the event that helped shape him into the most fearsome cage fighter in the history of man kind. [ laughter ] as you might imagine, many people were shocked by the fact that that was the cover of a magazine. if you were shocked by that, you do not want to see what they have planned for father's day. [ laughter ] so -- anyway, when you -- [ applause ] call your mom or when you see your mom this weekend, thank her for never doing that to you.
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on the cover of a magazine. if you are still looking for a mother's day gift, here is an idea and it won't cost you a lot of money. this is a gift your mother will love, guaranteed. >> this mother's day, show mom how much you care. not with flowers or chocolates or even breakfast in bed. give her what she really wants. leave her the [ bleep ] alone. paid for by your mom. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's a great gift for dad next month, too. [ applause ] to celebrate mother's day and all the weirdness that surrounds it, we thought it would be fun to play a mom-themed version of our popular audience guessing game, the pedestrian question. this is where we ask people out on the street a question and then we together will try to guess what their response will be. and tonight's pedestrian question is -- have you ever seen your mother naked?
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all right, now, the way this will work is, we're going to see, someone introduce himself or herself, and we'll stop the video and try to guess if they've ever seen mom nude, okay? all right, let's begin. >> sanders mcgee, i'm from las vegas. >> sanders, have you ever seen your mother naked? >> jimmy: has -- has sanders mcgee ever seen his mother naked? the audience says yes. almost uniformly. >> no. >> jimmy: i think it's more rare with boys and more traumatizing, as well. let's see who we have next. >> i'm lizzie from washington. >> have you ever seen your mother naked? >> jimmy: has lizzie seen her mother naked? everyone says yes to lizzie, too. >> no? maybe? i'm not -- wow, that's a very -- yes, i have seen my mother naked. >> jimmy: okay. [ applause ]
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next up? >> is this your mother? >> yes. >> have you ever seen this woman naked? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: try to read their faces now and let's see if we -- the eyes have shifted to the side. what do we think? yes? all right. let's find out. >> unfortunately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. next up? >> i live here in hollywood. >> have you ever seen your mom naked? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah -- no? no? all right, we're mixed on this one. >> ah, yeah. i can't do this. no. >> jimmy: all right. sorry, larry. didn't mean to bring up bad memories. who is next? >> scott from toronto.
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>> sonia from toronto. tara from toronto. >> your mom? >> yes. >> yes. >> have you ever seen your mother naked? >> jimmy: now, they -- well, there's two -- there's two children here, so, it could be yes on one and no on the other. all right, let's find out. >> we like to play this game, sexy or gross, she comes out of the shower and says, sexy or gross? and we always say gross. sorry mom. >> it's always gross. it wasn't always gross. i'm 53 years old. >> jimmy: all right, well, that's horrible. and i think we have one more. >> my name is william, i'm from miami. >> william, have you ever seen your mom naked? >> absolutely! >> jimmy: why so certain? [ laughter ] let's find out if william has. >> yes, unfortunately i have. >> tell me all the details. >> well, okay, one day i was feeling sad, like, from school
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or whatever, so i came home and she was trying to cheer me up, so, she's like, come talk to me in the bathroom like we always did. she was getting dressed, she has a scarf around her breasts, and her boobs are like this way and that way. at the same time. and now i'm gay. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's -- well, thanks to our participants tonight and their perverted mothers. speaking of mothers, have you been following the story of the so-called hot dog hooker? this is a woman in long island, new york, she's a stripper and a hot dog vendor. got many talents. they arrested her last week. on pros tus prostitution charges. an undercover cop went in, ordered a hot dog and a lap dance. she spent a few days in jail but she's out now and she went back to -- well, tried to go right back to worm. >> first problem of the day -- no propane. while that went on, problem number two. the owner of the lot she was
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parked on showed up and he wasn't too happy. >> get the [ bleep ] off my property. now. now. >> did you know she was here? >> yeah. >> so you have a problem with it? >> yeah. >> soon after that, the cops came. >> i'm getting off the property. >> and really, without a fight, she packed up to her new spot, right outside pep boys. and she remains in good spirits. >> i feel like a celebrity. don't i look like pamela anderson? >> jimmy: more like louie anderson, but -- maybe pamela anderson on an all-hot dog diet? [ applause ] you should drive that truck directly to the dr. phil show. dr. phil is here tonight. carrie underwood is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] carrie underwood and i, we recorded a duet together yesterday. we'll premiere that for you later. carrie underwood has a new album, it's called "blown away," it premiered at number one on the billboard chart and made a
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major impact on a 3-year-old girl named sadie. watch this. ♪ >> jimmy: randy said she was a little pitchy, but i think steven and j.lo told her they believe in her passion and all that. [ applause ] hey, as you know, yesterday, president obama came out in favor of same sex marriage. he said his position on the subject has evolved. apparently, he's been watching a lot of "modern family" and who can resist mitchell and cameron? it's impossible. after obama is spoke, mitt romney weighed in, saying his opinion has not changed. he believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman, which is -- which is better than his grandfather, who believed it should be between one man and five women. [ laughter ]
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back then, anything lower than three was gay, so -- [ laughter ] there's an interesting article in "the washington post" today about romney. they interviewed some of his high school classmates, some of whom described him as a prep school bully, which -- prep school bully, like mitt, sounds like a john hughes movie. right? somebody call molly ringwald. [ laughter ] they claimed he picked on some of his gay classmates. according to the article, he pinned a gay student to the ground and cut his hair, which, ironically, is a pretty gay thing to do, when you think about it. [ laughter ] wrestling and hair dressing. another former classmate claims that after he spoke in front of the class, the kid got up, spoke in front of the class, romney said, "atta girl." but in romney's defense, he said he didn't know at the time, that either of the boys were gay, so, he wasn't being homophobic, he was just being a jerk. i can see that. kids do dumb things. back to mother's day if we can. every day on television, we see
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so many incredible role models, mothers, we wanted to take an opportunity to honor them tonight. we've been working night and day for the last eight weeks on this, to narrow it down to the best mothers of the best. and tonight, it is time to crown our 2012 mom of the year. [ applause ] and your mominees are. plastic surgery mom. >> this is sarah burns and her 7-year-old daughter poppy. they are from the united kingdom. burns has reportedly already given her daughter $7,000 in plastic surgery vouchers. >> jimmy: aleese ya silverstone. >> her routine with her son. she regurgitates the food and transfers it to his mouth. she says he literally crawls across the room to attack my mouth as i'm eating. >> jimmy: tanning mom. >> denies she took her daughter anna tanning with her and says she just brought the 5-year-old to the tanning salon and made her wait next to the bed.
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while she, herself, tanned. >> this whole thing has been blown out of proportion. >> jimmy: joyride grandma. >> a granddaughter's joyride in a toy car landed her grandparents in jail. sarasota deputies say the grandparents were drunk when they toyed that toy car behind their suv using some dog leashes. >> we were pulling the car in the back of the truck, which probably wasn't the best thing to do, i get it. >> jimmy: and hot dog hooker mom. >> i sell hot dogs during the day and at night i do the stripping business. i got another 15 years to go and i'll be stripping for another 15 years. as long as this body is built the way it is. see this body? this is the mother of triplets here, okay? >> jimmy: and the mom of the year award for 2012 goes to -- tanning mom! [ applause ]
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>> thank you. thank you. ah -- thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, jimmy. i want to thank city tropic in north arlington, new jersey. i want to thank banana boat summer color self-tanning cream. reynolds aluminum foil and castrol motor oil. without them, i'd look like nicole kidman. special thanks to my pasty ass daughter anna for keeping her mouth shut. happy mother's day, you guys. thank you so much. >> jimmy: tanning mom, everyone. and one more thing. it's thursday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> what were you guys saying to each other? >> i just told him, you know, when you [ bleep ] floyd mayweather, you [ bleep ] the best. >> it's a crazy week.
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first, she had an encounter with an alleged stalker and then she [ bleep ] a guy's [ bleep ]. >> if you are in the horse [ bleep ] business, one question you are sure to be asked is, have you ever [ bleep ] a horse that's won the kentucky derby? >> this show is going to make you want to [ bleep ] your tv screen. >> did he think we wouldn't call him out for this [ bleep ] move? >> there's a -- there's a [ bleep ] inside of me that frustrates me not being able to [ bleep ] it. >> please do the right thing. pick up the phone and give them a call at [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. and of course, that number is 1-877 [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ] me as hard as he likes this week. >> presume that vice president biden had [ bleep ] the president [ bleep ]. did he talk about it? >> i did ask him about that, diane. >> the president [ bleep ] the [ bleep ]. >> good you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]. i give you a free pizza. >> okay.
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>> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. carrie underwood is here. and we'll be right back with dr. phil mcgraw, so stick around. pull on those gardening gloves. and let's see how colorful an afternoon can be. with the home depot certified advice to help us expand our palette... ...and prices that keep our budgets firmly rooted... ...we can mix the right soil with the right ideas. ...and bring even more color to any garden. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. get memorial day savings with 4 bags of earthgro mulch for just 10 dollars.
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i'm looking for the one. kids, house, the whole domestic thing, you know? then why does your relationship status say, "never getting married"? hmm... that was the old me. it says you updated it 15 minutes ago. yes...yup... yeah that was before i met you. favorite pickup line: "nothing mattered before i met you." ha...oh...that's... why did i put that... [ male announcer ] only at&t's 4g network lets your iphone download three times faster. at&t.
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>> jimmy: hi. i'm ready. tonight on the program, bona fide music superstar, this is her new album. it's called "blown away." here to chat and play music from the bud light outdoor stage, carrie underwood is here. carrie and i recorded a new duet together, and we're going to world premiere that for you tonight. and then i guess we'll see you at the grammys. [ laughter ] our first guest tonight was sent by oprah to smack us around and straighten us out.
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he is available every weekday on his top-ranked syndicated show. please say hello to dr. phil mcgraw. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dr. phil. >> how are you? >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> i always wonder about these people that get right in the front and then they find out it's me and they're like, oh [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: no, no. these people need your help badly. very badly. you -- i was watching you earlier this week, because you had terrell owens on. >> i did. >> jimmy: former nfl-er. >> right. >> jimmy: and that was a crazy hour of television. because -- correct me if i'm wrong, but you had terrell and then you had four, i believe, women with whom he has children? >> three. >> jimmy: and a mom. and one of their moms and they were all just yelling at him the whole time. [ laughter ]
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>> well -- it was a little bit like a firing squad, but i have to say -- >> jimmy: no, firing squads, you die instantly. this went on for a full hour. it was -- it was far worse. >> like you're getting pecked. people have said, why does he come on? and i asked him that question, we got there, i said, you understand these women are here, you know they're going to ask you questions, so, tell me again why you're here? because you know what they're going to say. and he had a really good answer to that actually. he said, number one, i really want to talk about this, i think i get a bad rap in the media and i want to clean that up. and number two, i've really learned a lot of humility. i got a bad reputation in the league and i want people to realize i'm growing up and changing and doing a better job. and i got to tell you, i like the guy. >> jimmy: no, you didn't. [ laughter ] >> i do. i did. >> jimmy: no one does. no one liked him. >> that's not true. >> jimmy: who likes him? you should do a show, dr. phil finds someone who likes terrell
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owens, because -- it would just be him. even you won't show up that day. [ laughter ] >> that guy is super talented. >> jimmy: yes? >> somebody is going to take going to light 'em up. he is not done. >> jimmy: i don't know about that. i think he's done. i do think he's done and i have to say, he came off terribly on your show. i mean, if he was there to prove humility, he failed. he was -- >> could have done a better job on some things. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, he could. but b . >> but i'm telling you, if you met the guy, you would like him. >> jimmy: i met him many times and i don't like him. >> you didn't like him? >> jimmy: no. i don't. i thought i liked him briefly and then i realized, oh, no, i don't like him. and after watching him on your show, where he's just an absentee, he's not in his children's lives at all. he doesn't pay any of the mothers anything. he's terrible. >> maybe he doesn't like you. that's what it is. >> jimmy: well, you know what, i'm glad he doesn't like me. i have to say. if he doesn't. you and he can vacation together, for all i care. i don't like him. >> you know, the guy has made, like, $70 million, $80 million,
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but never completed a contract. if he had completed a contract, he would have made althounother 60s th $60, $70 million. and now he's broke. >> jimmy: yeah, well -- >> they set all these child support payments when he was making huge bucks and now he's playing in the arena league. what do you get, 50 cents or something? >> jimmy: it's minimal. all right, all right. i don't believe you like him but we'll move on from here. >> why do you say that? >> jimmy: because i can tell you didn't. i could see -- steam was coming out of your ears. >> well, we've known each other too long, so -- so, talk about something else. what else you got here? >> jimmy: i don't know, we got a lot of things. there's always a lot of things. you always have a lot of characters coming through your show. >> well -- >> jimmy: what about -- let's talk about the tanning woman. the tanning lady. >> i met her backstage. you saw her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the other one. >> oh, the other one. >> jimmy: the other one. [ applause ] when a story like that breaks, are you -- i mean, you have, like, missiles that come down from the sky and try to capture
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her and bring her back to you? >> well, no, i mean, but when something like that happens, we get tons of mail from our viewers, saying, you need to talk to that woman. you need to shake some sense into her. you need -- we want to know what in the world is going on with her and you're the guy to find out, so, we want you to book her. if our people want that, we'll reach out to her. >> jimmy: uh-huh. do you wait for the viewers to tell you -- >> well, no, it happens instantly. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> it will break at noon and by 5:00, we'll have 10,000 e-mails. >> jimmy: so, you storm into her home like navy s.e.a.l. team 6 capturing bin laden and drag her back to the studio. >> that's how we do it. we take out a wall. come down the chimney. either that or we ask if they want to tell their side of the story. i never make deals with guests. they know, i'm going to ask the hard questions, they like it, they don't. >> jimmy: this is the woman in question. now, her skin has faded a little bit since the -- this is not -- this is not altered. this is a human chocolate bunny we're looking at here.
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all she really needs are the ears. [ applause ] i have to say, like, you know, on one hand, i have a feeling -- i don't know anything, i have a feeling she didn't take her daughter into the tanning booth and that was a presumption made by people who looked at her crazy face. >> you know, it really doesn't matter. the most powerful role model in any child's life is a same sex parent. and that is what this woman is modeling for that child. and you have to ask yourself, seriously, this is why i'm interested in psychology. you have to ask yourself, what's going through this woman's mind? when she says, i want to bake myself. i want to get to the point that i am so altered that i stop traffic. i mean, that would scare -- [ laughter ] seriously, look at this. >> jimmy: let's look at that again. >> i'm serious. that could scare the livestock, right? >> jimmy: i guess she's not coming on your show, by the way -- >> yeah. no, i would tell her the same thing.
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don't you wonder what goes through your mind to make this okay? >> jimmy: what about looking in the mirror afterwards, going, oh, i look great. maybe put a little blush on, but other than that? >> you know, that may be a good look for her, i mean, you've never seen her pale. >> jimmy: i have not. >> this may be the best look she's got. i don't know. >> jimmy: you might be right. that's a good way of thinking about it. what about the hot dog hooker? have you seen her? do you know -- >> i have seen that. >> jimmy: will you be pursuing that? and her truck and her hot dogs, all that stuff? >> no. >> jimmy: why not? what if the viewers want it? >> they don't. [ laughter ] they don't. >> jimmy: they don't? why not? what's wrong with them? [ applause ] i do. i'm going to write a letter. >> again, what goes through people's minds. i wonder about her, she stands up and says, as long as i've got this body, and i'm thinking -- seriously? lady, you look like me in a
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two-piece. and -- [ applause ] and so, but -- she's selling that? >> jimmy: yeah. she is selling that. >> you got to wonder, people are buying food from her? >> jimmy: yeah. she's hand. ing food. >> you have to wonder where the hot dogs have been, i mean -- no, seriously. seriously. i'm telling you. i would rather eat dirt. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break here. dr. phil is with us. we'll be right back with dr. phil. [ female announcer ] did you know the average person smiles
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>> jimmy: hi there, we are back with dr. phil. you can watch him every weekday in syndication. things are going well for you? >> we are in our tenth year. >> jimmy: tenth year? number one now. [ applause ] >> we're the number one show in daytime and we've really enjoyed that this year and it's great. >> jimmy: i'll bet you have, yeah. and your son's show got nominated for an emmy? >> right. my son jay is the creator and exec tifl putive producer of "t doctors." and i worked on that show. it's a great show. i worked on that show with him as one of the executive
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producer, as does carla pennington. things are good. i've got a lot of things going on and i've branched out and have some products that i'm using to really impact people's lives and help them. >> jimmy: i heard you have a specific product that -- it's marketed at younger people? >> you know, i'm trying to protect kids and prom -- prom is a challenging time in life so i'm focusing on that. >> jimmy: focusing on prom? >> i am. >> jimmy: and we have this -- now, this is a commercial? >> it is. >> jimmy: okay, well, we wouldn't run a commercial here, but -- it's dr. phil. >> we're friends, come on. >> jimmy: here it is. dr. phil's new product. >> high school prom. harmless social interaction or a one-way ticket to slutsville, usa? i'm dr. phil. did you know that 1 in every 3 babies is conceived at prom? and it's all because teens dance too darn close. they crunk. they grind. they booty dance. it's got to stop. and it will stop with my
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revolutionary new device, dr. phil's body barrier. dr. phil's body barrier keeps teens at a safe distance on the dance floor. making sexy dancing almost impossible. it's a simple solution that works like the dickens. simply strap the bold barrier around your teen's waist, fix the lock and you're good to go. the body barrier is light weight, stain resistant, so maintenance is a cinch. and it comes in a variety of colors to match your teen's prom attire. responsible dancing has never been so much fun. dr. phil's body barrier, because a two-legged hound can't jump for apples. >> call 1-800-720-0622 to order dr. phil's body barrier for just $19.95. supplies are limited, so call today. available at walgreens.
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>> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] i'm sorry, dr. phil. i -- >> weird key to my success has been my willingness to humiliate myself at any time. that conga line, i felt like i was in prison. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the next sketch. dr. phil, everybody. dr. phil's show airs weekdays in syndication. we'll be right back with carrie underwood. [ water ] hey, it's me water.
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>> jimmy: well, hi there, and welcome back. randy jackson called our next guest the greatest "american idol" contestant of all-time. he also called her dog a whole bunch of times, too. she has five grammys, three cma awards and this album, her third, debuted at number one. it's called "blown away." please say hello to carrie underwood.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great. it's great to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you agree with randy jackson's assessment that you are the greatest "american idol" contestant of all time? >> well, goodness. [ applause ] if i say yes -- >> jimmy: yeah, it's a tough one. >> if i say no -- i like the dog comment, though. >> jimmy: he calls everyone dog. >> right. >> jimmy: so, you are declining to answer. who do you think is the second -- excluding yourself, who is your favorite "american idol" contestant of all time? >> i mean, i'm friends with, well, golly, i mean, david cook and i have known each other for quite awhile and i adore him musically and as a person. and lana elena is my girl. >> jimmy: are you watching the show this year? >> yes. >> jimmy: you have been. and is there someone you are rooting for in particular? >> i have no idea who got voted
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off tonight because we've been here. >> jimmy: oh, right, yeah. probably that one guy. >> that one contestant, probably the one i wanted to win. >> jimmy: congratulations, i want to say, on your number one album. three albums, all number one. [ cheers and applause ] quite a streak you have going. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: did you buy a copy yourself? >> kind of a tradition -- i've been in new york every album release, so, we do our thing for the morning, whatever that may be, radio shows, tv, whatever. and i always go and buy a copy, this year, i bought three. >> jimmy: you did? >> yes. and then i went back to my hole hotel room and downloaded it on itunes. >> jimmy: wow, so -- when you are at the store buying your own album, what do people say to you? >> nothing. >> jimmy: nothing? why? >> i don't think they, i mean, i rolled up with a posse, too. like, we had several people going with us and we all -- we don't fit in, in new york with our accents and our giant hair and --
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>> jimmy: so, they didn't realize it was you going in there? >> i don't think so. we just got in, they -- they thought some crazy blond girl was buying three copies of carrie understowood's cd. >> jimmy: do you like going out on the road? >> i do. it's fun. >> jimmy: do you get bored? >> no. i mean, there's so much to do. there's a lot going on. >> jimmy: just work wise? do you have fun when you're out there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you hand-pick the people, obviously, that you're going to travel with and so -- what do you guys do? do you gamble or -- [ laughter ] >> i mean, it's really a lot of work, when i'm not working i'm sleeping, so, right now -- i mean, when we're on tour, i work out a lot. >> jimmy: okay, all right. that sounds no fun at all. >> no. no, it's cool. i mean, we live on a little bus. it's an apartment on wheels. i have my stove. >> jimmy: do you cook in the bus? >> i stink that bus up with the cooking. yes. >> jimmy: what do you cook in the bus? >> whatever. i'm vegan, so, there's some sort
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of chicken and -- >> jimmy: i'm surprised you haven't been thrown out of country music for being vegan. [ laughter ] and not only -- >> i will have people come up to me, because i'm from a small town in oklahoma, and they are like, what is this? what? you don't eat meat? what is wrong with you? >> jimmy: it's kind of unusual. >> they tell me i look thick or something. girl, i need to feed you. >> jimmy: and your husband is a professional hockey player. >> yes. [ applause ] yeah! >> jimmy: mike fisher plays for the predators. which is convenient for you because you live in nashville. that's nice. did you demand that happen? >> i don't know how that happened. >> jimmy: that was just luck? >> it really was. >> jimmy: no influence at all? >> i think there were, like, multiple offers on the table for, you know, because people want him. he's amazing. he's a great guy to have on the team. everybody would want him. they were nice enough to send him to nashville. >> jimmy: did you follow hockey before you guys became involved with one another? >> no. >> jimmy: you didn't? >> now i know what i've been missing, for sure. >> jimmy: he's a canadian, too, which is another weird thing for
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an american country star to -- >> i break all the rules. i break all the rules. >> jimmy: and how did you meet in the first place? >> we met through my bass player. a couple of people -- he knew someone that knew mike. >> jimmy: i see. and he said, you have to meet mike, or mike said, i'd like to meet carrie? >> kind of a little bit of all that. i think the stars lined up and it was -- we were bound to meet. >> jimmy: i see. now, is mike nervous about the fact that many of your songs deal with violent revenge? [ laughter ] is that -- >> he should be. >> jimmy: because many of them do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and that would scare me, i think, if i was -- i mean, even being a hockey player, i think that would scare me a little bit. >> he knows me and i'm actually a pretty, like -- >> jimmy: you don't seem like a violent person. >> i'm not. >> jimmy: but then again, who knows with you? >> but that's the thing. my life is good and my husband's wonderful and we're so in love and, i mean, have this wonderful
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life but nobody, i mean, nobody wants to hear that. >> jimmy: people would rather hear -- >> that would make a terrible song. >> jimmy: you destroying vehicles, right? well, this is very exciting. i know you've worked -- you sung some duets with very famous people. brad paisley, you did one with who else? >> tony bennett, steven tyler. >> jimmy: i feel like you have now, you peaked now, with probably -- maybe the -- well, i guess we'll let the audience decide. carrie and i did a song together. and it's about -- it's -- i think it's best to say it's about the aftermath of revenge. you think that's a good way of putting it? >> yeah, it's like "before he cheats," the sequel. what happens next. >> jimmy: exactly. and here it is. enjoy. ♪ ♪ last night
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♪ i went out to see huey lewis ♪ karaoke with a bunch of the fellas ♪ ♪ last night ♪ i just finished my virgin margarita ♪ ♪ with a paper umbrella ♪ last night ♪ i fumbled in my fanny pack ♪ looking for the key ♪ as i walked back to my truck ♪ and i'm like what the [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ some crazy girl i never met before ♪ ♪ is taking a bat to my four by four ♪ ♪ i grab my head and give a high pitched shriek ♪ ♪ she said ♪ my boyfriend's being a total ♪ that's not his truck ♪ next time you should think before you freak ♪ ♪ last night 1234z i ♪ i said i'm sorry ♪ i was just so upset
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♪ last night i'm like what are the chances ♪ ♪ there would be two red pickups with the same top mustache ♪ ♪ last night ♪ please stop your waiting ♪ if you need some ♪ and it will be just fine ♪ oh but he started crying ♪ some crazy girl i never met before ♪ ♪ went all britney spears on my four by four ♪ ♪ the one i just paid off the other week ♪ ♪ she said ♪ i'm so sorry ♪ that i got rough ♪ i said sorry just about good enough ♪ ♪ and next time you should think before you freak ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah ♪ knocked my hello kitty to the floor ♪ ♪ broke my bobblehead al gore ♪ ripped my poster of james v van der beek ♪
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♪ you got major issues with jealousy ♪ ♪ you really should get therapy ♪ ♪ so next time you can think before you freak ♪ >> okay. there's my boyfriend. i got to go. this is my bad. i'm very sorry. >> this is the guy you're angry at. hey! we didn't exchange insurance information! >> bye! >> unbelievable. unbelievable. ♪ james van der beek [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, carrie. carrie underwood, everybody. you will not find that song on this album, it's called "blown away." we'll be right back with music from carrie underwood. ♪
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♪ come on ♪ hey good girl with your head in the clouds ♪ i bet you i can tell you ♪ what you're thinkin' about ♪ ♪ you'll see a good boy gonna give you the world ♪ but he's gonna leave ♪ you cryin' ♪ ♪ with your heart in the dirt ♪ ♪ his lips are dripping honey ♪ but he'll sting you ♪ like a bee ♪ ♪ so lock up all your love and go and throw away ♪ the key ♪ ♪ hey good girl get out while you can ♪ i know you think you got ♪ a good man ♪ ♪ why ♪ why you gotta be so blind ♪ won't you open your eyes ♪ it's just a matter of time ♪ till you find ♪ he's no good girl ♪ no good for you ♪ you better get to getting on
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your good-bye shoes ♪ ♪ and go ♪ go ♪ go ♪ better listen to me ♪ he's low ♪ low ♪ low ♪ ♪ hey good girl ♪ you got a heart of gold ♪ you want a white wedding ♪ and a hand you can hold ♪ just like you should girl ♪ like every good girl does ♪ want a fairly tale ending ♪ somebody to love ♪ but he's really good at lying ♪ ♪ yeah he'll leave you in the dust ♪ ♪ because when he says ♪ forever ♪ well it don't mean much ♪ hey good girl ♪ so good for him ♪ better back away honey ♪ you don't know where he's been ♪ ♪ why ♪ why you got to be so blind ♪ won't you open up your eyes ♪ it's a matter of time
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