we are always online at abcnews.com. jimmy kimmel is up next. see you tomorrow. tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the babies. the soft baby doll that cries real tears. >> what is wrong with him? >> dicky: billy crudup. >> there are some things money can buy. >> dicky: fred williard. and unnecessary sensorship. [ male announcer ] here did all the obama stimulus money go?

friends, donors, campaign supporters, special interest groups where did the obama stimulus money go? solyndndra: 500 million taxpayer dollars. rubankrupt. sowhere did the obama stilus money go? windmills from china. electric cars from finland 79% of the 2.1 billion in stimulus grants awarded through it went to overseas companies. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message.

>> dickey: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, billy crudup, fred willard, and music from grace potter & the nocturnals. with cleto and the klee tones. now, first of all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for watching. i'm jimmy the host. thanks for all of you for coming.

i have some major late breaking karaoke news for you. steven tyler announced a few hours ago he will not return to "american idol" for this fall season. he put out a statement today that said i strayed from my first lover aerosmith, i've got two fists in the air and i'm kicking the door open with my band. it sounds like he might be leaving "american idol" to take karate lessons. i'm surprised by this. i don't understand how anyone leaves that job. we'll give you $20 million a year to just sit at a table and go i just wasn't feeling it for 12 weeks. but he left. steven tyler will no longer be a judge on "american idol" and return to his true passion beb bebazdazzling women's pants. i wonder who they'll get to replace him. is there anybody left?

i'll miss that old lady. i really am. i'll miss the steven tyler creepy leer of the night. >> tell us about yourself a little bit. >> i'm a volleyball player. >> jimmy: up in heaven now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here is somebody that the "idol" producers might want to take a look at robert blake. he was accused and acquitted of killing his wife back in 2001. he just published a memory called "tales of a rascal, what i did for love." because when he was a little kid, he was on "little rascals." but last night he went on the piers morgan show to promote it. he got very upset when asked about the murder charges which aren't mentioned in his book. >> i made a deal to come here and talk about anything in the book. i excused you from that deal because i thought you were going to be cool. now you're trying to drive it into [ bleep ] and i don't know why. >> i'm not trying to drive anything into the ground. >> you're foolish. >> i'm not trying to drive anything in the ground.

i'm asking you questions about what i presumed to be a very important moment in your life. you written a book about your life. >> i written a book about my life. i didn't write a book about that night and i didn't write a book about bonnie. now you can stay there for the rest of your life if you want to. i'm telling you you're starting to look silly. >> jimmy: he looked silly? [ laughter ] you're the one dressed like you're going to an audition for the sequel to "magic mike." the interview went on, robert blake got madder and madder. it reminded me of bugs bunny and yosemite sim. we thought it would be fun to take the audio from that interview and combine it with the video from the cartoon and we were right. >> i want to get to the truth if i can. >> you want to get to the truth, if you can? does that mean i'm lying to you? >> i don't know. are you in. >> what the [ bleep ] matter with you. >> it's not about me, is it? >> yes, it is. because you owned that door, charlie potatoes. i'm not going to sit here and

let you or anybody else kick the [ bleep ] out of me without defending myself. if you want to show me the door, that's fine too. >> i'm not interested in doing that. >> we better start talking about the little rascals. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: after the interview for some reason, our local news here in l.a. went to robert blake's condo, i guess to talk to him about it. i don't know what their plan was going in, but the result was some of the finest local news reporting this american has ever seen. >> blake now lives in this apartment complex. he reportedly declared bankruptcy after his criminal and civil trial. tonight he went to his home and made several attempts to talk to him. there was no response. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, we would have believed you if you just told us he didn't answer the door. thanks for the exclusive.

speaker of the house john boehner, i love a guy that doesn't disappoint. he was part of a ceremony awarding a gold medal to an italian artist. once again he cried. there he is starting to get choked up. this is not a guy he knew. here he is wiping his eye. with a handkerchief. this artist died more than 100 years ago. here he is blowing his nose. nancy pelosi next to him. she would have cried too but she had her tear ducts removed years ago. apparently boehner was moved by this artist's paintings. imagine crying about paintings, he is not looking at the paintings. what happens when he listens to adele? john boehner cries a lot. here he is crying at a college commencement speech, election results, watching party that he won. this is i think just after the

last episode of "desperate he's super tan. he cries. he drinks. he should be speaker of the jersey shore house. menopausal oompa loompa. and it's brings the toys to little girls. >> who did you bring? >> i brought boehner baby. >> the soft sensitive baby doll that cries real tears. >> oops, boehner baby spilled the tea. >> oh, no, he's crying. >> boehner baby cries until you calm him down. >> don't cry, boehner baby. it's okay. it was an accident. >> he's the leaker of the house. >> what is hell is wrong with him? stop crying.

>> be quiet. >> boehner baby, everything makes him cry. >> available at walgreens. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the 43rd annual san diego convention center today. comicon. good luck finding a boba fete costume this weekend. they're out. i made 100,000 people who attend comicon this year. it's a huge locker stuffed with nerds. they say -- they're predicting this will be the largest collection of asthma inhalers in the world. if your wondering where your i.t. guy is tomorrow, odds are he's in san diego dressed up like hell boy. nasa just made a big announcement. they discovered previously

recorded fifth moon orbiting pluto. it has five moons where we have just the one. i feel like nasa knows about all the moons in the universe already. they discover one every six to nine months. just to stay relevant. same way the kardashians do with weddings, to keep themselves in the news. the discovery reignited the debate whether pluto considered a planet. it got demoted from planet to dwarf planet. i thought that was a bad move. it's not fair we call it a dwarf planet. we call snooki a person, right? this is interesting. funeral home in south carolina is adding a starbucks. the robinson funeral home will sell coffee and coffins at their establishment. which is great. because now instead of being sad that your grandma died, you can be angry that you just paid $5 for a cup of coffee. sooner or later starbucks will find a way to open coffee shop in hell. satan will enjoy his first iced macchiato.

there's a very strange new parking policy being enforced in a german town. called free bird. the mayor there has reserved certain narrow parking spots specifically for male drivers. the mayor whose name is stroebear, men are better at parking and so the spots are for them only. i'm guessing the mayor is single. he said he believes the smaller spaces is will be a tourist attraction for ambitious drivers or for anybody who leads an extraordinarily dull life. obviously some people are calling this policy sexist, the mayor says he hopes to, quote, challenge political correctness. he even shot a tsa to get people behind him. >> i'm the mayor. i'm here to announce a new parking spot. some spaces are too difficult for women to squeeze into, from now on, these will be known as man spaces. this is a man space.

and this is a man space. is this a man space? >> no. parking in a man space is a challenging business. it takes a man's character and a man's delicate touch. sometimes you have to oil it up and other times you must jam it in. women are forbidden to enter a man's space. man spaces are for men only. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, look at this. welcome. what is hell is going on? you don't speak english, do you? hello. where are you from? >> i'm from austria. but don't worry.

>> jimmy: okay. i don't know what you said. but i heard the word governor, so i assume it's an arnold schwarzenegger reference. are you here visiting him? >> no. i hit the beer garden in houston. and then to see you. >> of course you do. >> jimmy: it's wonderful to have you here and thank you for wearing your harn esz. wearing your harness. [ cheers and applause ] there's a beer garden in houston. you don't get that in mix coe, do you? rarely. it's thursday night. it is time now for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is this week in unnecessary censorship. enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] >> the national league winning for the third straight year behind brilliant pitching and big giant [ bleep ]. >> there's such a chemistry between us it's hard to talk. we always want to kiss each

other. it feels great. >> we will work to cover purpose. i will [ bleep ] your [ bleep ]. >> 911. what you are reporting? >> i have five [ bleep ]. >> you are the next bachelor? >> that is as true as me [ bleep ] kim dar dashan. >> the last couple of months we haven't been able to see this [ bleep ] at all. >> it's illegal to [ bleep ] these bears. >> could this be adolph hitler's car and if so, what the [ bleep ] is it doing here in new jersey? >> wow. look at all these [ bleep ] >> let's hope swiper find his [ bleep ] bunny. >> so i can have a sleep over at grandma's house. >> please, god, someone [ bleep ] me before dark. >> serena williams, champion of the wimbledon again.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show you tonight. fred williard is here. we have music from grace potter & the nocturnals, and we'll be right back with bill crudup. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] get your cash back! oh, hi. which cash back booth looks better to you, chase freedom or the largest cashback card? oh, i'll try the largest. oh, that is too bad. apparently you don't know chase freedom guarantees you 1% cash back. 4 times more than the largest cash back card, which only gives you a quarter percent until you spend $3,000 every year. but have fun. bob and weave once you're in there. don't get short changed. get your cash back. chase freedom.

promise full whitening results in two weeks or more. rembrandt® deeply white™ 2 hour whitening kit is proven to quickly remove surface stains and deep stains in just two hours. [ female announcer ] rembrandt® deeply white™: whiten in just 2 hours.

crfoursquare makes apps crowley,for mobile phoneshe co-founders of foursquare. [ female announcer ] rembrandt® deeply white™: that let you connect with your friends to help make the real world easier to use. my smartphone is the one thing that i never leave my house without, and it's the one thing that if i do forget, i go back to pick it up. it would be impossible to do the things that we're doing with foursquare if it wasn't for all the technology you find in a smartphone. blue shirt: when the technology's right, anything can happen. vo: get the exclusive white samsung galaxy s iii on sprint. only at best buy.

at the peak of the season, but did you know that the strawberry... [ male announcer ] super. that's all we need to hear. the season berry and spinach salad is available for lunch and dinner. it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow. but lately she's been coming in with less gray than usual. what's she up to? [ female announcer ] root touch-up by nice'n easy has the most shade choices, designed to match even salon color in just 10 minutes. with root touch-up, all they see is you.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program, he has a new show called "trust us with your life" that airs tuesdays at 9:00 here on abc, the wonderful fred willard is here. and then, with music from this album called "the lion the beast the beat," grace potter & the nocturnals from the bud light stage. we like them. we've got a great line up for you next week, bryan cranston, charlie sheen, kate beckinsale, snooki will be here, thomas haden church, olivia munn, dylan mcdermott and we'll have music from zac brown band, matisyahu, rubblebucket, and joe cocker and huey lewis performing together. and it will be good. we'll enjoy it. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is one of the most talented and mispronounced actors working today. you know him from "mission impossible 3," "eat pray love" and, of course, "almost famous." his new movie with ben stiller

and vince vaughn is called "the watch." it opens july 27th. please say hello to billy crudup. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i want to pat myself on the back because i pronounced your name exactly right. perfectly. it's crudup. it's not crudup. >> thank you. it's german as well. so i know i have one fan already. where you are? >> jimmy: he's from austria. it's close enough. >> thanks for having me on. i've known you for a little while. this is my first time. we've known each other a couple years now. >> jimmy: yeah. we fell almost instantly in love. >> sure did. now, how many shows do you do in a year, say?

>> jimmy: in a year? probably -- how many do we do in a year guillermo? >> guillermo: 1,100. zwlak that's 2200 opportunities. >> jimmy: we really hit it off great, as you can tell. you don't usually do stuff like that. you keep a very low profile. with your theater, your broadway. >> well, you want to hear about this? you want to do some theater stories. i don't have any. >> jimmy: you must have some. >> i was trying to think of some earlier today. they were all kind of tragic. apparently, that does not play well on the show. >> jimmy: it does sometimes. i take perverse pleasure with that. >> no button, lonely stories? >> i have loads of those. >> jimmy: tell me the worst story you can think of. >> well, actually -- all right. we were doing a play called the pillow man, which was this -- it was this macabre thriller.

you don't see much on broadway. it was about these two brothers and one of the brothers was sort of mentally unstable. and may or may not have committed some atrocities towards some children based upon some stories that the older brother wrote. are you in it so far? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you said children, went from quiet to extra quiet. >> i told you. it goes like that. but in the play, i tell these really long kind of terrifying stories. and they're acted out in tableau above me. and during one of the stories one day, right before the intermission, that's big scare that comes. there was a scream from the audience and a man collapsed and had a heart attack. how about that for a button? he lived. he was fine. for a while. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! >> no, he was fine. i don't know. he was fine. he was fine. i didn't think of bringing any stories. >> jimmy: have you been playing scrabble? you have been preparing? >> we played for a few times.

he contends that words with friends because i live in new york i can't really play scrabble with you -- >> jimmy: words with friends is nonsense. that's for children. that's for 11-year-olds. scrabble is the real game. >> you know me. i have no problem playing scrabble. >> jimmy: people chat on scrabble. >> you have a board? let's go. >> jimmy: the audience will be bored. >> that will light them up. you thought my pillow man story was good. >> jimmy: we played a few times and then the last time we played, which was like a year ago. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you won. and now i feel like you're hiding from me. we will never play again. >> well, leave a winner. i learned a few things back. i'm back now. i'm a few doors down from you. when ever you're ready. >> jimmy: we'll make it interesting. >> thanks against for pronouncing my name correctly. >> jimmy: have you had a problem with that throughout your life? >> no. >> jimmy: because your name, it's crudup. >> well, it turns out it's a

german name and it used to be spelled with anumlout. people don't love umlouts anymore. it's gone. that makes the u instead of crudup. i think it was with a k so maybe it was somebody like crudup. poem don't love that either. i didn't think i would have a problem with it. in fact, i was trying to remember this story earlier, the first agency i was with, the president of the agency called me into her office when i had first signed. and she said, "so, billy, huh?" and i was like, yeah. she's like, you like that? you are going to keep that? and i was like, billy? and she go, yes. well, yeah, i guess. it's kind of -- that's my name. i didn't think -- i mean, it would be weird for me to be something else. she's like yeah. okay. huh. i don't know makes me think of billy carter from the south. all of a sudden -- she had no problem with crudup at all.

somehow billy made her think of drunken brother of the former president. that was going to be a problem in my career. >> jimmy: from 18 years earlier. >> by the way, he had a beer named after him. he did already. >> jimmy: he did well for himself. is he the one that had the heart attack at the show? >> no. thanks for bringing it back to that. it killed before. >> jimmy: i did. you were on -- this is not news to you, but you were on a soap opera when you were in college. >> that's correct. a student-run soap opera created by a man named adam wright. during my first -- >> jimmy: what was it called. >> general college. great. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: off to a good start. >> you have got a fantastic audience. [ cheers and applause ] look at them. they get soap operas, they get puns.

they get student fun. >> jimmy: you know what? i have a gift for our audience. i have a clip from general college here. how old are you in this clip? >> 27. no. i think i was probably 18. i'm not sure which clip it is. >> jimmy: it's a good one. >> they were all good. >> is everything okay with josh? >> yeah, he's still kind of worried about himself. >> so am i. today made me realize just how bad things really are. >> they can be a lot worse. we still have each other. ♪ >> jimmy: what in the world? [ cheers and applause ]

billy crudup, everybody. more with billy when we come back. we'll be right back. these fellas used capital one venture miles for a golf getaway. double miles you can actually use... but mr. single miles can't join his friends because he's getting hit with blackouts. shame on you. now he's stuck in a miniature nightmare. oh, thank you. but, with the capital one venture card... you can fly any airline, any flight, any time. double miles you can actually use. what's in your wallet? alec jr? it was a gift. oh man... ♪ [ male announcer ] four days. three nights. a two-day music festival. and one legendary party. bud light port paradise. here we go. i'm here to snake the drain. i'm here to flush the pipe. vo: liquid plumr double impact has a long snake

that reaches deep in the pipe to grab the toughest clogs, and a powerful gel to finish off the rest. baby. liquid plumr double impact. until we discovered k-y yours & mine. this one feels amazing for me, this one is fantastic for her. yeah. and when they combine it opens up a whole new door for us. i've come to clean your pool. what pool? [ female announcer ] k-y yours & mine. keep life sexy. [ female announcer ] k-y yours & mine. [siri] sirianother busy day today.ke? are you seous? [siri] yes i'm not allowed to be frivolous. ah ok, move my 4 o'clock today to tomorrow. change my 11am to 2. [siri] ok marty, i scheduled it for today. is that rick? where's rick? [siri] here's rick. oh, no that's not rick.

now, how's the traffic headed downtown? [siri] here's the traffic. ah, it's terrible, terrible! driver, driver! cut across, cut across, we'll never make it downtown this way. i like you siri, you're going places. [siri] i'll try to remember that. we need to use something steakier. new slim jim steakhouse strips. tender. ow. [ male announcer ] new moist & tender steakhouse strips. made from stuff guys need. want my recipe for healthier hair color? natural instincts! formulated with aloe, vitamin and antioxidants natural instincts has a system that's a healthier way to radiant color. indulge... with natural instincts. less guilt, more gorgeous. hey lolo, pull that trail leg through. then i want you to punch that knee down the track. punch it. 'cause if you win gold, i could win prizes at mcdonald's. shin parallel to the track... then you just go -- that's a decent start. [ male announcer ] keep an eye on your us athletes

when you enjoy select favorites under 400 calories at mcdonald's. when they win gold, you could win prizes. hydration, hydration, hydration. [ male announcer ] the simple joy of winning. i can't stress it enough. then who the hell am i? ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] er "total recall." rated pg-13.

♪ the apps are all set ♪ put some warm beer in the freezer ♪ ♪ nah, you won't forget ♪ you find 2 socks that match ♪ you like some pics ♪ you update your status and ♪ oh no! ♪ the beer's gonna blow! ♪ but you open up your freezer door ♪ ♪ and you're super stoked ♪ because oh yea! ♪ you've got ice cold beer ♪ and no exploding beer slushies when your friends get here ♪ hooray freezer beer rescue! red stripe. ♪ hooray beer! red stripe. hi thwhoaa! chase freedom is offering 5% cash back at gas stations this quarter. that's great! i know, right? just learned how to drive this yesterday. one second i'll be right back around... here's that 5% cash back you earned. wow, thanks! courtesy of chase freedom. oh boy! earn 5% cash back at gas stations this quarter. activate your 5% cash back at chase.com/freedom.

degree created an antiperspirant that's just as strong. degree clinical protection. up to three times the strength of a basic antiperspirant. degree clinical protection. unapologetically strong. that lets you build your better breakfast with avocado! imagine avocado on a toasty bacon egg & cheese on flatbread. come celebrate avocado season before the sun goes down on this delicious addition! subway. build your better breakfast. [ ball hitting paddle ] [ orbit girl ] don't let food hang around. yeah! [ orbit trumpet ] clean it up with orbit! [ orbit glint ] fabulous!

for a good clean feeling. try new orbit micro packs. you're still back at rekall strapped to a chair. ♪ he's lying! none of this is real. this is not a delusion! ♪ how did he get activated? he's gone to rekall. [ male announcer ] this friday... tell me what's going on. we're just trying to recover what's in your head. you don't even know who you are. ♪ [ male announcer ] "total recall." i want to remember. [ male announcer ] rated pg-13.

i've never felt this way before, but it's a scary time to be a woman. mitt romney is just so out of touch. [ female announcer ] mitt romney opposes requiring insurance coverage for contraception.

and romney supports overturning roe versus wade. romney backed a bill that outlaws all abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. there's so much we need to do. we need to attack our problems -- not a woman's choice. [ obama ] i'm barack obama, and i approve this message. >> hey, fella, what are you doing? >> there you are. 1162, jerome park drive. >> i'm 1157 jerome park drive. my name is paul. i just moved in. >> sorry. i'm evan. hi. >> evan, evan trautwig, subscriber to men's fitness. >> that's mine. thank you. >> not that you need it. >> excuse me? >> you got the body of a

decathlete, evan. you got great skin. >> jimmy: that is "the watch." it opens july 27th. you've come a long way since general college. >> i still got it. >> jimmy: what is your character there? >> i've been informed to give a synopsis of it. >> jimmy: you have. >> the only thing more dangerous than the threat of facing the good citizens of glen view are the four guys who have come together to save them. meet the neighborhood watch. sefic minded seven played by ben stiller. family loving guy bob. tough wild card franklin johann hill. and looking for the love demarcus richahard. apparently that's all i can say. >> jimmy: they want you to keep it quiet? >> they don't trust me to say much of anything. >> jimmy: i didn't know this

until today, you are the priceless -- the voice of the priceless guy on the mastercard commercials. >> that's true. >> jimmy: how long have you been doing that? >> 15 years. >> jimmy: that's a great gig. >> ooh. [ applause ] >> jimmy: do people know it's you? >> there are some things money can buy. i switched it around. well, you know, when i went to graduate school, we were sort of told take the shotgun approach to acting. do whatever you can. voiceovers, industrials, so i auditioned for tons and tons of voiceovers. this is one i ended up getting to do the demo for, because the advertising agency was trying to win the account. when they won the account, mastercard said use the voice that you used in the demo. so 15 years later, you know? >> jimmy: what did you get paid for the demo. >> $250. >> jimmy: now you get more. you are locked in at that -- >> i am great at voiceovers.

i'm not great at negotiating. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. >> it's great to see you. >> jimmy: please come back again. we'll play scrabble and report back on our finding. >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: billy crudup! "the watch" opens in theaters july 27th. we'll be right back with fred willard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this happy couple used capital one venture miles for their "destination wedding." double miles you can "actually" use. but with those single mile travel cards... [ bridesmaid ] blacked out... but i'm a bridesmaid. oh! "x" marks the spot she'll never sit.

but i bought a dress! a toast... ...to the capital one venture card. fly any airline, any flight, anytime. double miles you can actually use. what a coincidence? what's in your wallet? [ all screaming ] watch the elbows ladies. in applebee's new lemon shrimp fettuccine is here just in time for summer. lemons... [ male announcer ] is this gonna take a really long time? i haven't even... [ male announcer ] here's the part you really care about. the new lemon shrimp fettuccine tastes incredible. it's one of the new fresh flavors of summer, starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. see you tomorrow. my name is sunshine and i have three beautiful girls. i like taking advil® for a headache. it nips it in the bud. and i can be that mommy that i want to be. ♪ [ male announcer ] take action. take advil®. [ female announcer ] 100% natural lipton iced tea. it's delicious goodness, just the way nature intended it. when you put goodness inside, you can't help but shine on the outside. lipton. drink positive.

in paradise valley, arizona, where tonight we switched their steaks with walmart's choice premium steak. it's a steakover! this is perfect. the meat is really good. one of the best filets i've had. see look how easy that is to cut. these are perfectly aged for flavor and tenderness. you're eating walmart steaks. shut up... is that right? the best steak i'd ever had... i would definitely go to walmart and buy steaks. walmart choice premium steak in the black package. try it. it's one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed. [ male announcer ] peppermint that cools as you chew. walmart choice premium steak in the [ air howling ]try it. stimulate your senses. 5 gum. now in micro pack. of his entire championships. great rhythm. excellent form. super difficulty. watch this right here. it's a full twist in here. very difficult.

[ crowd gasps ] wow, that is big. big, big, big. [ male announcer ] nailed it. "paranorman," from the makers of "coraline." in theaters august 17th. rated pg. ♪[linkin park "burn it down"] from the makers of "coraline." ♪[rock]

[narrator] can't wait for the honda civic tour featuring linkin park? neither can we. go to facebook.com/hondacivictour for details.

[ john ] no. ♪ were you just... no. are you supposed to be driving that in here? no! yo! teresa here? ♪ no. so is it okay if i stay out just a little bit longer? so...okay... so no. did mom say we could eat all that? [ john ] yes. [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no," it's nice to finally say "yes." the new line of oscar mayer selects. the tastes you love and no artificial preservatives. it's yes food.

activating protection, bear! the more you move, the more it works! [ roars ] [ screaming ] new long lasting degree with motionsense help me! keep running! the audience choice ingredient bud light! and here we go. looks like chef dubois is emulsifying the bud light into a foam, what's his competitor doing? he appears to be having a really good time. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go.

[ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. dididid you get the file? no tina? no still waiting in pittsburgh. thank you pittsburgh. terry? noo are you sure? yes. i got it. way to go jim! what is going on in there? beats me.here's that file. got it. righteous. share files instantly, only on the galaxy s3. available at sprint. why severy room deserves ll us what outo look great.or is? and every footstep should tell us we made the right decision. so when we can feel our way through the newest, softest, and most colorful options... ...across every possible price range... ...our budgets won't be picking the style. we will. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. make room for savings with $37 basic installation on martha stewart living and platinum plus carpet.

hey! that envelope -- got to ask for it back. once it goesn n the bag, it's got to stay in the bag. hey!

[ man ] you got involved with some people with real problems. ♪ life and death. [ wilee ] i almost got killed 3 times in the last 20 minutes. ♪ what did you do to me, man?! what the hell am i carrying?! [ siren chirps ] ♪ wilee! [ male announcer ] "premium rush." rated pg-13. hi there. our next game v guest is one of the funny gees on the earth. you know him from "anchorman," "waiting for guffman" and "best

in show." his latest endeavor is a very interesting improv talk show called "trust us with your life." watch it tuesdays at 9:00 on abc. please welcome fred willard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thanks for modifying that. one of the funniest freds. >> jimmy: you are one of the funniest men on earth. how have you been? >> it's always fun to be here. i've been fine. you know, i hear you're a baseball fan. >> i am a baseball fan. >> did you ever collect baseball cards? >> jimmy: i have a few of then. they disdisbursed to the younger members of my family and then they disappeared. >> my mom threw mine out. i don't know if you saw in the paper where they found an attic some man's grandfather put away cards from 1910, put them in a

box and they got -- the thing is, are in mint condition. they look like they were brand new. that's a fantasy i always had -- >> jimmy: they found like a wagner? >> i don't think they had him. that's worth like 4 million. but these were -- the thing is what they do -- they take cards today and they put them in plastic folders that you can't -- you have to hold the cards and look at them. i got this. >> jimmy: yeah. gamble them. >> any way, i always had a fantasy some old lady living on my block, i found this card board box my husband had these cards. you look through them. you don't know whether you tell her they're expensive. i think i would have to share. then i also had a fantasy that her niece would call me and say, listen, mom goes to sleep. come on over. we'll go to the attic. that's a fantasy i don't talk about. >> jimmy: really? it slipped. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you have -- you have a great christmas party, which i attended once. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you also i think once told me about your fourth of

july party, which sounds fantastic also. >> i'm very traditional. i love -- it's kind of a fun party, but we have the kids -- the more and more kids are growing up there, and then we get up and have a little pageant and they read poems. you didn't come to our fourth of july party. >> jimmy: no, i wasn't invited. but -- in fact, i was invited to your christmas party one time. every time i remind you that i would like to be invited and never does the invitation come. >> i thought it was like a -- you know, a production that you came. it was a personal appearance. >> jimmy: no, no, no. you don't have to pay me anything. i would come for free. >> frankly i'm always embarrassed. i was so impressed that you came. >> jimmy: you're embarrassed that i came. i am never invited again. i love the parade that you have at your july 4th. >> we have a parade and people march around the tennis courts.

>> jimmy: they march around the tennis courts. >> i'll invite you. we have -- i'll invite you and the invitation will say no gifts, but ignore that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we were talking to billy about his mastercard commercials. you the voice on the old navy commercials. >> yes, i do. i did it for a year. then say said, we are going change the campaign. we would like fred to come in and audition. i fwhent and auditions. they finally said, we just decided to go with you another year. that's great. >> jimmy: that's good. >> it wasn't like we were so impressed. it was too much bother. let's just go with him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have one of those disney or nickelodeon shows. what show is that in wizards? >> wizard of waverly place. yeah, i have a whoa new audience. little kids -- last year they

had a pantomine show. it was all these kids with cinderella. you're on wizards of waverly place. that's the only thing they know i've done. but that's a whole new crowd. >> jimmy: of all the things you've done, a lot of movies and -- what is the the weirdest thing that people remember you from? >> i did a movie called "how high." >> jimmy: oh, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> it was -- the wu tang clan. you guys must know the woo tang clan. redman and method man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> my friend who used to write from saturday night live, you have to be careful. those guys are going beat you up. i said, what? so i really believed him. i was scared because they looked very tough, with the hat on. but they couldn't have been more professional.

when you do a scene and there's a closeup of you, they usually have a stand in, a script person reading, they were there. and if they made a mistake, oh, man, i'm sorry. i'll be walking down the street, hey, man, how high? i was the president of harvard, that was a great spot. i was the president -- somehow redman and method man got enrolled in harvard. >> jimmy: it does happen. >> it could happen. of course they rocked havoc at that school. >> jimmy: you can't let them into harvard. >> you try. they were very well behaved. i do -- i don't think i'm talking outs of school. on the publicity tour, i think it had to be cut short, for some reason. they disdisbehaved on the publicity tour. >> jimmy: well, they got to do the movie. that's okay.

tell me about your new show. it's a very interesting concept. >> i almost forgot. how relaxed i am. what show? let's not talk about that. the producers -- you have to talk about it. >> jimmy: you're the host of the show. >> it's a wonderful idea. it's the same people who did "whose line is it any way." the difference is i'm interviewing a celebrity and they're telling me their life story. that seems like a very good piece to act out by our improve actors. they'll get up on the spot and act out. it's amazing. >> jimmy: i've seen that done in improv theaters. >> this is david hasselhoff, we had serena williams. >> jimmy: did they do the thing with the hamburger with david? you know that one? >> yes, i think they did. >> jimmy: oh, they did. wow! >> they did. and he was delightful. >> jimmy: there's another show you have, interesting actually this week -- this is a show dedicated to all about a band that you love. and this week that band broke up.

this is a show i was on with you. >> i remember. i'm glad you came on because the show didn't last long. it was a tribute. >> jimmy: i ha a clip of that whici would like to show, if you don't mind. it's weird because this band happened to break up this very week. >> it was sad, yes. >> jimmy: okay. let's take a look. >> welcome to chum baa wum baa show. i'm your host fred willard. my special guest tonight is jimmy kimmel. come on out, jimmy. hey, chum baa wum baa. >> jimmy: too you too, fred. >> would you like a drink? i have a whisky drink. i have vodka drink. i have a lager drink and a smirnoff ice. just kidding. a cider drink. >> i'll take a side drink. thank you. >> i don't know if you've seen all these concerts. this one was my favorite.

what a killer. maybe more about that later. jimmy, it says here on a few of these cards that you were born in brooklyn, new york. >> jimmy: yes. >> what does that have to do with chum baa wum baa? >> jimmy: nothing. it's just where i was born. >> were you ever born in chum baa wum baa? >> jimmy: that is not a place, as far as i know. >> what if it was a place with restaurants and schools and jelly shops at every corner? >> yeah. okay. then i would -- yeah. i would be born there, sure. >> who wouldn't want to be born there except canadians. they're nuts. >> i guess, yeah. i guess it would be -- in chum baa wum baa. what is this? inchts guess i should have warned you. that is hard cider. and by, that i mean vinegar. while we're on the subject of chum baa wum baa, if it was suffering from kidney failure, would youd donate all of your kidneys to keep them alive?

>> jimmy: i might give them one. >> one? whoa! if chum baa wum baa wants your kidneys, you give it to them. anyone who went to school knows that. you know what you need? >> jimmy: what? >> you need some chum baa and wum baa. how would you like to need a kidney and not be able to find one. i'll tell you, chum baa wum baa. but you wanted to talk about the concerts. this one was in seattle, and that was great. >> save a life, send vital organs to sylmar, california. >> i would like to hear more about that concert in seattle. was it really that great? did you try to call up stage with them? you know, i did try to go up on stage. they called me up on the stage. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was a good show too.

"trust us with your life" airs tuesdays at 9:00 on abc. when we come back, music from grace potter & the nocturnals. hi there. whoaa! chase freedom is offering 5% cash back at gas statis this quarter. that's great! i know, right?

just learned how to drive this yesterday. one second i'll be right back around... here's that 5% cash back you earned. wow, thanks! courtesy of chase freedom. oh boy! earn 5% cash back at gas stations this quarter. activate your 5% cash back at chase.com/freedom.

>> jimmy: the album is called "the lion the beast the beat" here with the song "never go back," grace potter and the nocturnals. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ you running round in circles but you won't find no better than this ♪ ♪ and after all your searching come back to the place that you missed ♪ ♪ but i'm closing up for the season see you out there you're freezin' ♪ ♪ but i'm never letting you back in again

oh no ♪ ♪ oh no i'll never go back there no more ♪ ♪ oh no oh no ♪ i'll never go back there no more ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ looking at your heartbeat like i've never seen it before ♪ ♪ too alive to ever sleep and the street is keeping you warm ♪ ♪ pushing up on the ceiling beating back all the demons ♪ ♪ and i'm never letting you back in again ♪ ♪ oh no

oh no ♪ ♪ i'll never go back there no more ♪ ♪ oh no oh no i'll never go back there no more ♪ ♪ i can't take it no more these scratches on my soul ♪ ♪ i can't and i'll never let you near my heart again ♪ ♪ oh no oh no ♪ ♪ i'll never go back there no more ♪ ♪ oh no oh no ♪