thank you for watching. jimmy kimmel is up next. good night. >> dicky: up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live," are kids still spelling boobs? >> rebel wilson. still spelling boobs? >> re[ male announcer ] the choice on debt... mitt romney's plan: huge tax cuts for millionaires,

tax breaks for oil companies and corporations that ship p jobs overseas, adding trillions to the deficit. president obama's plan: a balanced approach that asks the wealthy to pay a little mo, eliminates tax breaks for outsourcing and oil subsidies, cuts govnment spending, and reduduces the deficit by four trillion. two s.ans. your choice. [ obama ] i'm barack obama and i approve mis message.

>> jimmy: hi, jimmy kimmel here. oreo cookies are celebrating their 100th birthday this year, and in honor of that, they're posting a hundred consecutive days of oreo content inspired by news headlines at oreo.com/dailytwist. for more, we go to guillermo at the oreo cookie news network. guillermo. ♪ >> guillermo: oh, good evening! i'm guillermo, and here are this week's top stories. on monday, august 13th, the oreo daily twist headline was left handers day. for more on the story, eat cookies. [ laughter ] very good. next up --

today, "the oreo daily twist" was "elvis week." want to know more? too bad. time for another cookie. [ laughter ] mmmm. creamy. next. tomorrow, august 15th -- i don't know what happens tomorrow. i'm a newsman, not a psychic. that's all the news for now. it's time to leave me alone. back to you, dick. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: to see all the past "daily twists," or to submit your own idea for a twist, visit oreo.com/dailytwist. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with joseph gordon-levitt, rebel wilson and music from good old war. [ cheers and applause ] you'll inevitably find yourself on a desolate highway in your jeep grand cherokee. and when you do, you'll be grateful for the adaptive cruise control that automatically adjusts your speed when approaching slower traffic. and for the blind spot monitoring that helps remind you that the highway might not be as desolate...

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. hi, i'm jimmy. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for braving -- seems to be here tonight. i know it's very hot outside. today is a terrible day to be a dog walker. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know. probably every day is a terrible day to be a dog walker. even though it's still the middle of august today was the first day of school for most public school students here in l.a. are kids still spelling the word

"boobs" upside down on the clarity? [ laughter ] tens of thousands of p.e. students were forced to shower as a group for the very first time. i think it's important for you to know that's about as traumatic as it gets. i still use the beginning of the school year to buy nice a new lunch box. the national retail foundation estimates that the average american family will spend $688 on back-to-school shopping this year. i love hearing this, my family spent an average of -- what it did a trapper keeper cost? two bucks? as far as i know neither of my parents would even purchase so much as a pencil. i guess my dad would steal that from work and bring it home. and my mother has never thrown out a pen. my mother has a drawer full in

the kitchen jam-packed with pens without a drop of ink. i don't know if she's waiting for them to come back to life like jesus. [ laughter ] or she's building some kind of a nest with them. but she for some reason has retained every pen that's ever been smuggled into our home. we have a fun assignment for parents of young and teenage kids tonight. tonight, i'm issuing one of our world famous youtube challenges. we've done this before -- [ laughter ] thank you. i'll wait on the applause button. on halloween last year, we asked parents to pretend they ate all their kids' candy and that was great. at christmas, we had parents give kids intentionally crappy gifts and that was great. on father's day, we asked kids surprise their dads by spraying them with a hose that resulted in memorable moments like this. >> why did you do that?

>> jimmy: and moments like this. [ laughter ] >> what are you doing! >> jimmy: and this. >> son of a -- you -- you -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: so our challenge this time, it's a little bit complicated. but it's aimed at kids going back to school. here's what i'd like you to do, tell your kids you got them new clothes for back to school. hand them a bag that contains the worst outfit that you can come up with. make them try it on. upload it to youtube entitled hey, jimmy kimmel, i got my kid a horrible outfit. we'll be able to collect these

things and if we show this, everyone wins, except the kid. do that for us. here's an interesting bit of news, a new government survey has found in 2011 for the first time, 12 states had what they described as very high obesity rates. which i can't tell if that's good or bad news because that means 38 didn't, right? the last time it was done, 2007, nine states. three states wept on a binge. alabama, michigan, missouri, oklahoma, and west virginia ranked fattest. mississippi was number one fattest. colorado was the least fat state, only 21% obesity. i guess it's hard to work up an appetite when everybody smells like this guy. [ laughter ] the survey was conducted by telephone. it's just as easily could have been conducted by mirror. i wonder how that works. hi, we're doing a survey, how

fat are you? [ laughter ] it's a good thing people don't lie about their weight because otherwise we might even be fatter than we thought. here's a great moment in local news. this is from the nbc affiliate in brownsville, texas. a news anchor whose name i won't pronounce came back from a commercial and got tripped up on the date. >> good morning, i'm natasha sendway with the update. today is august 8th -- tuesday -- pardon me, wednesday -- 2008 -- 2012. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: she was distracted by the apostrophe in her name. something very odd going on in saudi arabia right now. apparently, they're planning to build a new city that will be reserved exclusively for women to work. a whole city with women only.

we have a woman-only city here in america, too, and called "the view" and it's terrifying. [ applause ] you know, they're doing this because women make up 16% of the saudi arabia workforce because of the extensive restrictions they have to deal with over there. women in saudi arabia need a male guardian's consent to get married. they need consent to get divorced. they need permission to travel and they need a male chaperone if they want to work in the mixed workplace. they're a little bit behind medieval times. the challenge is number one getting women into the city. number two, keeping steven tyler out of the city. [ laughter ] i'd like to send bruce jenner into this. just to make sure men don't sneak in, everyone entering the city will be forced to sit through the director's cut of

"sex and the city ii." meanwhile, gender barriers are being broken here in the united states. "the price is right" has announced for the first time in 40 seasons on the air they're looking for a male prize model. it's a very prestigious job for models good at doing this. [ laughter ] basically, the job is to smile, wave and look handsome. you know, if this whitehouse thing doesn't go well. i know a couple of guys that would be perfect for this. these guys. [ applause ] they've got the whole package, right? i do know somebody who would be great for this job. hey, show them what they've won. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: okay. guillermo, guillermo's been behaving very strangely since i sent him to see magic mike. so there. this is fascinating. this is a letter. it's kind of a form letter that somali pirates send out after they take hostages. reuters got their hands on this. this is not a joke. this is real. it's a real letter that starts "to whom it may concern." subject, congratulations to the company/owner." typically, it's followed by good news, rarely do you get pirates used rusty automatic weapons to take your employees hostage. it says having send when my pirate action group, p.a.g., has

control over your vessel. we are saying well to jamal pirate action group. i hope we get to meet jamal. and you have to follow by our law to return back to your vest and crew safely. in order to fulfill my suggestion, you have to do every step, if you want to do it. otherwise, you will lose the vessel and grew because we have the title to do everything if you do not obey our regulations. i think jamal has been taking courses at the university of phoenix. [ applause ] it goes on to not imagine that we are making you feel intimidation, but we send this message to every company owner we hijack from vessels, sundry cruises, et cetera. this is a regular thing now. it's not just business. best records, the general commander of the group, jamal.

you notice at the bottom, jamal has his own seal. i bet seal doesn't even have his own seal. jamal does. apparently, the ransom letters are working. somali pirates they say earned $160 million in ransom money last year. the best two jobs in the world right now are pirate and kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] what? do we have some kardashians here? do we have fans of literature tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i said literature, not litter. every since oprah went to cable, i've been trying to pick up the slack left over from our book club, the only problem is i don't know how to read. i asked my aunt to start reading books for us. my aunt finally got around to reading one of the most popular books. it's time for my aunt chippy's book review. >> books. reading.

♪ review. on a scale of 1 to 10, if this was between mice [ bleep ] and elephant [ bleep ], it's elephant [ bleep ], and if you can think of something even bigger than elephant [ bleep ], please let me know because i would class it in that category and certainly give you credit for it. elephant [ bleep ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: five stars. baseball's on. i know probably of you are on facebook, facebook added a new feature to their site. life event. life events are things that people put on their profiles when they get married or buy a house. the new life event is for women

expecting a child. you can put expecting a which means we finally might be able to see pictures of people's babies on facebook. it also allows to you post the story about the pregnancy and share who the father is. wait, i'm confused, isn't that what maury povich is for? [ cheers and applause ] the olympics have been over for days and already an athlete is stripped of a medal. i want you to try to guess which of these women tested positive for steroids? the russia, the kazakhky or the women from belarus. when the guy from the olympic committee told her she had been

stripped of the medal, she threw him 137 feet. there's a biography of mick jagger out right now which claims that mick jagger has slept with women -- i looked it up, the average man sleeps with six women. an average of six women in his lifetime. we thought this would be a good pedestrian question. we go out on the street and ask a random question, tonight's question is have you slept with over or under six women? the way we see this work, we stop the video, we all get together with whether he slept with more than six, over six or under. ready? let's begin. >> todd from connecticut. >> how old are you? >> 40. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: okay. a lot of people are saying

under. let's see how todd did. >> over. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: next up. >> my name is dominick, i am from england. >> how old are you, sir? >> i'm 29. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: every single person in the audience says under. sorry, dominick. >> under. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: poor dominick. >> my name is aaron harper, i'm from indiana. >> how old are you? >> 51. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: only one person is saying under. and the other 250 say over, all right. >> probably over. >> give me your number lifetime. >> probably over a hundred.

truthfully, probably over ahundred. >> are you still doing it? >> i'm still doing it. [ cheers and applause ] >> still doing it. >> jimmy: all right. who else do we have? >> how old are you? >> 19. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: under. most everyone says under. >> under six. >> under? >> i've slept with four. >> tell me their names. >> haley, jacie alexa -- you caught me lying. i guess three now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how many more do we have? two more, all right. >> batman. >> what's your real name. >> bruce wayne.

just joking. daniel. >> daniel, how old are you? >> 35. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: batman here -- >> over. >> over. >> okay. under. [ cheers and applause ] >> under six women. >> how many? >> one. >> one? >> one. >> jimmy: he cracked under pressure. one more. >> bobby from los angeles. >> how old are you? >> 22. >> have you slept with over or under six women? >> jimmy: everyone says under. this poor guy. >> huh? >> i think under. >> how many under? >> as in none. >> why's that? >> well, i'm very picky. >> jimmy: that's pretty picky. thank you, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show, from the

movie "bachelorette" rebel wilson is here. we have music from good old war. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be right back with joseph gordon-levitt. so stick around. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] crowley: i'm dennis crowley, and i'm one of the co-founders of foursquare. foursquare makes apps for mobile phones that let you connect with your friends to help make the real world easier to use. my smartphone is the one thing that i never leave my house without, and it's the one thing that if i do forget, i go back to pick it up. it would be impossible to do the things that we're doing with foursquare if it wasn't for all the technology you find in a smartphone. blue shirt: when the technology's right, anything can happen. vo: get a free samsung galaxy nexus 4g lte on verizon. only at best buy. so the production of twix was divided between two separate factories. left twix factory cascades caramel and chocolate onto cookie,

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♪ tomorrow on jimmy kimmel live, thomas davis church, chef rick bayliss. and jjamz. search jimmy kimmel and see what you've been missing. ♪ ♪ ♪ clap, pat, clap your hand ♪ pat it on your partner's hand ♪

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♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight on the program, you know her from the movie ""bridesmaids," rebel wilson is here with us. and music from good old war is here. tomorrow night, we'll be joined by thomas hayden church.

and jjamz and jennifer garner. our first guest is a very talented young man whom you know from the movies "inception," "500 days of summer," and this summer's blockbuster "the dark knight rises." next up, he plays a bike messenger peddling for his life in the new action thriller "premium rush." >> ah -- hey! give me the envelope. >> no! [ car horns ] >> ah! >> whoa! >> hey, hey, hey! "premium yush" opens in theaters august 24th. please say hello to joseph gordon-levitt. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: great to have you here. >> thanks, man. good to be here. >> jimmy: i remember when i'd watch you on "third rock from the sun" i thought, that kid's going to be a big star one day. i did. every once in a while, i spot a kid on a sitcom. >> and when i used to watch you jimmy the sports guy. i used to listen to the kevin bean show every morning. >> jimmy: it's weird to think of you as a kid -- >> it's weird to see your face. >> jimmy: yeah, i have one. it is weird to see my face. is that because you're a child star that you have to have three names? >> my mom's name is jane gordon

and my dad's name is levitt. >> jimmy: what do they do, your parents? >> my parents have had several careers. i guess they started at journalist, they meant works at kpsk, on the radio. >> jimmy: the radio? >> yeah, public broadcasting. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so you were raised in the world of public broadcasting? >> i guess i was. you're right. >> jimmy: like alex keaton on "family ties." >> wait, wasn't he a republican? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was on "family ties," did you know that? >> jimmy: were you really? >> yeah, i was bully number two. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who were you bullying? >> a deaf kid, actually.

the main show was about how brian, the main kid, made friends with this kid who was deaf. he learned sign language and such. i was one of the two closed-minded bullies. >> jimmy: wow, that's quite a credit. >> well, got to start somewhere, jimmy. >> jimmy: i don't know if this is okay to talk to you about it but i'm dieing to talk to you about it. your robin, the boy wonder. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the boy wonder. >> i'm john blake, gotham city police department. >> jimmy: right now, sure. but we know there's a bird flying around in your name. >> it's pretty awesome, though, right? [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's great. >> i was a fan of those movies before i ever met chris or did "inception." or ever thought i was going to get to do "the dark knight rises." >> jimmy: will you be robin in

the old movie? >> i don't get to decide those things. >> jimmy: all right. i'll take your caginess as a yes. >> is that cagey? do you think i get to make that decision? >> jimmy: why would they set up the whole thing on the end and just end it. >> i don't think it's necessarily a setup. i think it's a great end for that trilogy. if you go back to how batman begins, he's talking about how batman is more than a man, he's a symbol. >> jimmy: how do i have a hero inside of me? >> you do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm wrong, actually, right now, i have a meatball hero inside me of. >> oh, that's about as close as i get. you're on "sesame street" as well. speaking of public broadcasting, that's a big deal. i don't recognize this muppet, though. >> i didn't know him at first.

he's new, like 5 years old. his name is murray. >> jimmy: he looks like a drunk version of elmo. >> it's elmo who was 37 and still not doing anything with his life. he talked like humphrey bogart or something. >> jimmy: being on "sesame street" is great, right? >> you're friends with emily blount, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> she showed me footage on her phone, she did a thing with the muppet movie. the muppeteers don't stop. they don't break character. she showed me this footage of kermit just waiting. like the muppeteers were still in character with their hands in a muppet, hanging out.

and rolf was on the blackberry. i'm not kidding you. >> jimmy: a dog using a blackberry. >> and they perk up and get into character. she showed me this footage. >> jimmy: it's disturbing in a way, isn't it? >> i think it's awesome. at first you're running the line with the puppeteer and he's not running the muppet. then he puts his hand inside that and all of a sudden, you're talking with a red-haired monster. it's like working with an actor. >> jimmy: it is working with an actor. with a hairy glove. >> but it's somebody. i didn't get to do it with kermit. >> jimmy: i did one on sesame street with abby cadabby who i didn't know about. apparently, she's very popular. >> but my mom and i got to wish oscar a happy birthday.

>> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, i brought my mom when i went to shoot sesame street. and they do that segment. and one was to wish oscar happy birthday. >> jimmy: i saw the new movie. it's very entertaining. >> you liked it? >> jimmy: yeah, i liked it a lot. it's interesting, this world of bike messengers which i really never thought about. a world of people who ride around new york and get killed like three times a year or something like it. >> bike culture, it's a real thing. it's a real community. i rode a bike just like anybody. >> jimmy: it looked like you were in serious danger for real, in the movie, riding a bicycle. >> yeah, that's kind of what you do going 40 miles an hour with cars. >> jimmy: in the movie, there's blood all over it. your outfit. >> you saw the outfit? >> jimmy: yeah. and there's real blood over your body. >> i got hurt.

>> jimmy: you did get hurt? >> i did. i went through the rear windshield of a taxicab. >> jimmy: how did that happen? isn't that planned? >> it is. i should say everything is safety conscious. part of it was my fault. i'll start by saying i was going too fast. they put a camera on the back of a motorcycle and that's how they shoot it. i got ahead of the motorcycle which i shouldn't have done. then what happened, we're shooting in new york city and the united nations is there. they have diplomats in new york. who have diplomat license plates who basically break the laws. this diplomat broke through the lockup, passed our cones and our cops and double-parked in the middle of the shot. >> jimmy: really. >> long story short, i ended up going through the rear windshield of the taxicab. >> jimmy: which country? >> we didn't see it? >> jimmy: you got hit by a diplomat? i heard of diplomatic immunity,

i never saw it used in practice. >> that's what happened -- we had the whole street blocked off. >> jimmy: right. >> he broke through. i had to get around him. >> jimmy: this is why we got to stop letting foreigners in this country. i'm really sorry, guillermo. the movie was very entertaining. great to have you here. joseph gordon-levitt, everybody. "premium rush." we'll be back with rebel wilson! ♪

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♪ >> dicky: if you're going to be in the los angeles area and want to see the show call 866-jimmy-tix. jkltickets.com. >> announcer: can't get enough kimmel? find highlights and more at abc.com. ♪ [ male announcer ] start with a simple idea. think. drink coffee. hatch a design. kill the design.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. you know our next guest as kristen wiig's very funny, very weird roommate in the movie "bridesmaids." now she walks down the aisle herself in the new comedy, "bachelorette." it opens in theatres september 7th. please say hello to rebel wilson. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: you brought a snack? >> well, yeah, i brought you my favorite chocolate all the way from australia. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice, except you ate part of it. >> yeah, it's absolutely good. >> jimmy: have you ever heard of a golden gay time bar? >> yes. >> jimmy: i had that in australia. it was the greatest ice cream bar i ever had in my life. >> i'm having a gay time. >> jimmy: that's right. growing up on the show. i notice when i was over there, they were still watching "hart to hart" which is a show on in the '70s. >> oh, yeah. i watched a lot of american tv

shows. i listened to a lot of american music like gangster rap. my favorite band was chris cross. [ laughter ] i had all their albums like one. actually, me and my sister, we had a rap group. >> jimmy: these are the pictures? >> yeah. from when we were kids. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i had the baseball cap. >> jimmy: it's basketball, actually. >> we only had one cap, so my sister had to wear the hat. we do have all the chris cross numbers ♪ i'm the m-m-makin' mack daddy ♪ ♪ i also did their classic i

missed the bus i missed the bus ♪ . it was a cool song would be i missed the bus. [ laughter ] and we never really won the talent quest, but sometimes, we got highly commended and got a certificate. >> jimmy: that's nice. your sister's name is liberty and is rebel your real name? >> yeah, i had a sister named anarchy and a brother named riot. >> jimmy: wow, you would be on the no-fly list. >> my brother just got kicked out. >> jimmy: he did? >> for drinking too much. >> jimmy: what did your parents do? why did they name you that? >> well, my family were professional dog showers. >> jimmy: for real? >> yeah. you know like that movie "best in show"? >> jimmy: yeah. >> that was like my real life. i saw this and i was like, this is such a good documentary.

[ laughter ] and my mom -- >> jimmy: you can win from that? >> yeah, you can win as much as $50. and i was forced to be what's called a junior handler, which is kind of like "toddlers and tiar tiaras" but with dogs. you dress in your little outfit and show your dog and run around like this. the real tricks, because i was a professional junior handler. you got to make eyes at the judges. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah, when you're showing your dog and then you go -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for the judges? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> so, yeah. i was a champion junior handler. >> jimmy: wow. i didn't realize that. were your parents upset when you abandoned the world of dog showing for movies?

>> yeah. when i told my mom i was going to be a celebrity, she just cried. >> jimmy: she did? >> yeah. she said, who's going to take over the legacy of the dog showing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and did you pass that along to liberty? >> yes. >> jimmy: does she really? >> yeah, she does the national beagle club home on the weekends. they took home best bitch. [ applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. do they get excited about the fact that you're in these movies? >> yeah, when i'm in the movies, they're like, who would want to see you for movies, you're not even funny. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, that kind of thing. but now they're like, oh, sweet. they love coming to the premieres. i was just to the premiere recently and i got to meet olivia newton-john. she's an australia icon.

>> jimmy: and here, too. did they embarrass you in front of olivia? >> my uncle who is married slipped her his phone number. [ laughter ] >> and my grandfather, poppy, he kissed her on the lips like really fluffy, and then he got lost in the car park for two hours. >> jimmy: how did olivia react to the sloppy kiss from grandpa? >> she was very gracious. but then i saw her go -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: vomiting in the corner. now, this movie "bachelorette" do people think it's about the show "bachelorette"? >> i hope not. there's a lot more in that. >> jimmy: i don't know about that. who else is in the film with you? >> there's an actress, she's in my favorite movie of all time. it's a real masterpiece.

it's called "bring it on." [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. ready -- ♪ it's cold in here and kristin dunst. >> jimmy: that's the movie you know her from, right? >> yeah. the whole time we were filming were the bachelorette" i had to ask her about "bring it on." i was like, hey kiki, because that's what her friends call her, remember when you had the fingers and doing those ones? and she'd be like, yes, reb. and then i'd be like, tiki, remember when you said it's not a democracy, it's a cheer-up? and then she'd be like, yes,

reb. and then eventually she just started drinking tequila. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, very nice to meet you. you're very funny. and the movie is called "bachelorette." it opens in theaters september 7th. and it's available right this moment on video on demand and itunes, too. rebel wilson, everyone.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is the latest album. it's called "come back as rain." here with the song, "better weather," good old war. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ maybe tomorrow the storm will blow over and the river won't overflow ♪ ♪ nobody knows what tomorrow will bring that's why we rely on hope ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ we'll pray for some better weather

ooh ooh ooh ooh we'll pray ♪ ♪ for some better weather our little house at the top of the hill was built with love ♪ ♪ and four tons of steel it's pretty strong but it could still come down let's hope ♪ ♪ that it never will ooh ooh ooh ooh we'll pray for some better weather ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh we'll pray for some better weather you know we always ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ you know we always have each other ♪ if we go we'll go together ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh we'll pray for some better weather ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ we'll pray for some better weather