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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 25, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am EST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight nicki minaj, from "revenge" josh bowman and matt damon tours hollywood. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> i have a headache. i had a terrible dream last night. i dreamed last night i got kidnapped by the not so talented mr. ripley. and, he forced me to sit on the stage while he hosted the show. over the course of an hour i got tied up by matt damon, dry humped by robin williams. and heckled by reese witherspoon. humiliated by sarah silverman. vandalized by demi moore. and impregnated by nicole kidman. did i cover it all? by the way -- i like to thank everyone who was in last night's studio audience for doing absolutely nothing to help me. and you didn't help me either. >> sorry, jimmy.
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>> yeah, well. what do i pay you for if you can't stop the guy from we bought a zoo? the only one who showed me any loyalty at all last night was ben have flecafflek. i did wonder how a guy that couldn't get four hostages out of iran couldn't get me out of my own studio. one of the things matt damon didn't get to last night, what did he say this was? for some reason he walked around our -- our, around the block, asked our neighbors about me. i am not seeing this yet. let's take a look. let's see what people have to say about him. come on. this guy is putting in, how are you doing today, sir? >> hi, matt damon. nice to meet you. >> you are putting in jimmy kimmel's star on the walk of fame. >> he told me started right here. i am trying to do it best i can.
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>> he told you if you didn't spell it right he was going to get you fired. >> that is alarming. >> you know what, actually? >> i have a little -- belly button lint. >> okay. put that right down in there. >> okay. >> just -- make sure it stays there. make sure it statz theys there. >> i want him to know my belly button lint is between the j and the i. >> nice to meet you. >> all right. howdy, how are you? i'm matt. i am in the neighborhood. >> nice to meet you. >> beautiful spot. look at this. all the pictures. all the actors, everybody that comes in here. wow. jimmy kimmel is your neighbor, right? >> yes. >> i don't see the picture up here. what is going on? >> i have it. but i hid it. >> you hid the picture, you didn't put it up, why? can you show it to me? i don't know what you people are but you smell, thanks. wow.
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>> yes. that's why i hid it. >> you hid it or you hate it? >> both. >> something for you. >> you smell like, what is your favorite thing in the world? >> penguins. >> penguins? >> yes. >> penguins. love -- >> oh, thank you. >> yeah, you enjoy that. okay. come here -- oh, yeah. did you ever have any interaction with jimmy kimle? >> yeah, we do. he gets on our bus a lot. >> he gets on your bus. >> yeah, what does he do? >> he usually says do you want to see a star? and he -- yeah, at his private area. [ bleep ] i'm really sorry. >> thank you. >> it's not your fault.
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>> okay. >> thank you. thank you. >> come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm not sorry we ran out of time for him. i am happy we ran out of time for him. it will probably happen again. tomorrow, january 26th, our ten-year anniversary. went on the air, super bowl sunday, ten years ago. and this morning, to commemorate that the hollywood chamber of commerce gave me a star on the hollywood walk of fame. [ cheers and applause ] >> my parents were there. my whole family cam oue out of closet. told me they're gay. carson daly made a speech. thank you to carson. they said you haven't made in hollywood, until your name is
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permanently displayed where homeless people go to the bathroom. thanks to everyone who was part of that. tonight on the show -- oh, josh bowman is here tonight. and nicki minaj is here. nicki minaj is here. or i saw a rainbow in the green room. i am not totally sure. interesting fact about nicki minaj, she washes her hair in skittles. did you know that? would you look ike to see somet that is adorable and disturbing. this is a hamster eating a pretzel stick. whoa. it's like a little matt damon hamster.
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[ applause ] new jersey governor chris christie is getting big time financial support for his re-election campaign, a fund raiser hosted by facebook ceo mark zuckerberg, you know what it means, creator of the world's largest social network is raising money for the world's largest governor. did you know when you poke chris christie on facebook your computer giggles like the pillsbury doughboy. fund raiser held on february 13th at zuckerberg estate, we get it your house is big enough to fit chris christie, good for you. why does mark zuckerberg need to raise a fund raiser, worth $12 billion. write a check and be done with the whole thing. today, going through my morning routine of watching news reports about goats. a reporter at our abc affiliate in sarasota, linda carson was at the manatee county fair,
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covering the results of a live stock competition. this is not an easy gig for any reporter. but linda handled it so well. she earned to night's award for "excellence in reporting." >> the judging is complete so come on out and meet the winners. the goats will be here through saturday. and they're very friendly. from the manatee county fair, linda carson, abc 7. would you not eat my pants? ah! >> jimmy: i guess that is a no. [ cheers and applause ] and an early candidate has emerged. how many of you watched katie couric's interview with manti yesterday. from notre dame. met a girl on line. dated her exclusively for years. then found out she didn't exist. as a general rule of thumb, i
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believe if you haven't met your girlfriend you didn't have a girlfriend. turned out the whole thing was a guy playing a prank on him. think about it. the first time a famous@l athle has been involved in a sex scandal that didn't involve any sex. shortly after the story broke, some one came up with the theory that manti may be gay and came up with the girl friend to hide it from the team. that does not appear to be the case. >> one of the theories, manti making the round, that some how he covered this sa theinar sa t scenario to cover up your sexuality. are you gay? >> no, far from it. far from it. >> jimmy: that's right, i only date imaginary women exclusively. he thinks being gays more embarrassing than having a fake online girlfriend. the interview was great. he had many phone calls with the
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person he thought was his girlfriend. whether that guy was playing the prank or a woman, see if you think it is a woman, or a man pretendinging to ing ting to b. >> finally we have a message from the day she says she was released from the hospital, september 11, 2012. let's listen to that. >> hi, just letting you know i just left the hospital and am doing okay. do you feel bad for me? you should? oh, dear. that must be from the captain. call me later. love you. >> is that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: she sounded very sweet to me. what do i -- we will take a quick break. when we come back, we have shenanigans from my cousin sal and this week in unnecessary
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: nicki minaj on the way on the show tonight. this is a great piece of video, barbara from philadelphia was hard at work cutting hair, he noticed a man in the streets stopping traffic nude. like any responsible adult, he, dropped what he was doing and rushed out to record the action on thhis cell phone.
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>> whoa! whoa! whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kind of terrifying. no idea of the man who shot the video survived. if not he will be remembered fondly. i don't know how the guy was naked. the high was 30 degrees in philadelphia today. most of the country is in the grip of a winter storm. there is snow or -- or freezing cold in about 2/3 of the united states right now. but as usual it is warm here in l.a. i feel bad for my staff sometimes because they never get to experience a winter wonder land living here so. it is a little surprise, little pick me up, i sent my cousin sal
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around the office with a bucket of snowballs to spread a little bit of winter cheer. >> did you hear about the storm? i can't hit your computer. so -- >> i understand. >> let it snow! >> sal. >> cold hand. it's snowing. >> come on, enough. >> i'm protecting you. >> good job. >> [ bleep ], man. >> it's snowing out. >> oh, [ bleep ]. >> brad, let it snow! >> that's a bad idea.
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are you all right, dude? >> yeah, i'm all right, dude. >> snowball! >> snowball. >> is it cold? >> it's snowing, angela! >> sal! >> snowball. >> throwing coffee. >> did i get you? >> it's an avalanche. [ bleep ]. >> kimmel's on storm watch! >> come on, you got the computers. >> we're good. we're good. you should get outside more. >> why do i have him here?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: we have fun. and, one more thing. another week has come to a close it is time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not this week in unnecessary censorship. we must make the hard choices to reduce the cost of health care and the size of our [ bleep ]. >> what would you do? >> i would have gone to someone and said this situation is so [ bleep ]. >> the battle over the [ bleep ] has been put off. >> here is a question for you? who is afraid of [ bleep ], hollywood seems to have a bad case of [ bleep ] phobia. >> it is not the day to [ bleep ] with nature. >> the video right to us. now the world premier of two [ bleep ]. >> couples in a very different way [ bleep ] a lot more.
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>> [ bleep ] begets [ bleep ], and great [ bleep ] begets great [ bleep ]. >> the bartender so upset at not getting a raise he posted facebook comments hoping his customers would choke on [ bleep ]. >> i heard you have been [ bleep ] so much that you recently got a nosebleed. >> why did you fail to [ bleep ], gadhafi's [ bleep ]. >> this is the happiest day of my life. >> ohhi inmy goodness, they're [ bleep ]. >> just don't get any ideas. >> jimmy: tonight on the program, from the very popular show "revenge", josh bowman is here. i'll be right back with nicki minaj. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: tonight on the program, from the very popular show "revenge", josh bowman is here. next week, jude law is here, jennifer lawrence is with us, kim and kourtney kardashian will be here, katie couric, jb smoove, from "girls", adam driver. we will have music from gavin degraw, halestorm, antibalas, and tegan and sara, and more. although that seems like enough. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a multi-platinum recording artist with multi-platinum hair. she is a judge on "american idol" and has a new box set of music called, "pink friday:
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roman reloaded the re-up." please say hello to nicki minaj. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's going on with the air kiss you gave me when you came out here, you don't kiss people? >> no, not if i have makeup on. >> jimmy: if it makes you feel better, i am wearing makeup. >> that's nice, you look sexy. >> good to have you here. that is some outfit you have on. where do you get stuff like this, do you have to have it made? >> they sell it. you can get it in the stores. >> jimmy: i think you are a very
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good judge on american idol. i dent knidn't know what to exp. you give, seems a little contrary to your public persona. you give i think solid advice. and you have a very kind of reasonable, i do, honestly. >> i don't seem solid and reasonable otherwise. >> jimmy: you seem unsolid, liquid and unreasonable. the other night i was washing the show, and this woman came out, this young girl, she said, i do a country thing, and then keith urban got a little bit offended he is a country guy, what do you mean country thing? and then randy got, oh, country thing. like, he likes country music which is a load, and then mariah carey started questioning her country credentials. finally you are like this is ridiculous, you are forcing her to lie? right? >> what are we doing here? this is the thing, the girl said, listen, i did the country
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thing, but i want to try something else. that's pretty much what she was trying to say. she didn't want us to tell her off the bat what we think she should do. keith got upset. she put thing at the end of country. i told keith, you know what, i get it, whatever. but i just feet like, mariah, were almost like forcing her to say, i'm sorry, i want to be a country singer. if you don't want to be a country singer. granted sunny whe wasn't that s she said something she shouldn't have said, the fact that she doesn't want to be a country star. why would we force that? >> jimmy: then you got up and walked right off the set. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: a lot of people don't lake their co-worker at their offices. >> exactly. >> jimmy: your office is on television. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you have squirmishes everyone sees them. >> right. >> jimmy: clearly, people ask is it real or whatever?
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i am very observant as far as these things go. clearly you and mariah carey do not like each other? >> i wouldn't say i don't like her. i definitely don't think she likes me. >> jimmy: i would agree with that assessment. >> right? >> jimmy: i think she, i shthin she likes you less, you try harder to like her. >> i looked up to her for a long time. i've don't want to be hating this lady. she just had an issue from the beginning. we are having fun though. i think, those were the beginning, episodes. and of course, things happen. you guys all saw that. but really when i go to work on "idol" i am having fun. even at that time, earlier in the day i was having fun. i really genuinely enjoy going there. i like the people behind the scenes. i like the producers. we have a lot of fun. even with mariah and i we do have fun. >> jimmy: in ape fi fist fight, would win, you and mariah carey? if it comes to physical
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confrontation. >> i never fight with fists. >> what do you use? >> whatever weapon is handy. wait, don't, don't tell anybody i said that. because then there will be another barbara walters' interview. >> jimmy: your secret is between only us and everyone watching. >> no. i'm kidding. i would never fight. i don't condone violence. i don't. >> jimmy: but if it came done to it you would beat her with a shoe? i understand. you, you are popular all over the world, for an american must be a strange thing to go to countries where people don't speak english and yet they know all your songs. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you were in dubai, a few weeks ago. how did they like you there? >> you know what, i almost got in so much trouble. the guys in dubai are so cute, it's not even funny. >> jimmy: i have always said that.
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>> and so, i went, like one of the rules you can't hug a man there if you are not married to the man. so when we were leaving there is this one guy, so cute. i was like bye. i wanted to have one last moment to savor the moment with him. >> jimmy: you wanted to say dubai. >> right, i wanted to say dubai. literally, i didn't know that he was a cop. so i want to, they don't have like a police, like they, we were at the private airport. dressed in regular, like garments. and i went to give him a hug, and it is like literally almost felt like time stopped in dubai. like everything froze. and every single person turned around in slow motion like no! and everyone in my team thought i was about to be put in jail. >> jimmy: for hugging? >> the scariest thing. the scariest thing. but he kind of put his arms up a little bit and cracked a nervous smile.
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i was like, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i left. >> jimmy: this explains why you didn't kiss me when you came in. we are going to take a quick break. when we come back, nicki minaj is here. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wow. ♪ what? ♪ mmm. it looks delicious! i didn't work out this morning. i should try it? yeah. actually pretty tasty. sausage, egg and cheese. mmm! this is from special k? no way! that changes things. [ female announcer ] new special k flatbread breakfast sandwiches. with multi-grain flatbread, eggs, sausage, and cheese. it's only 240 calories. if you guys can come back tomorrow, it'd be fantastic. [ female announcer ] a breakfast revelation. what will you gain when you lose?
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: we are back with nicki minaj. josh bowman is on the way.
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nicky, you are going to be performing on our outdoor stage tonight. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: you tweeted something on wednesday, i thought was interesting. you said honestly, your fans, i don't want to see any cfs at kimmel. if i do it is our own little miniconcert. tell your kids. tell your wife, what is a cf? >> a code, and seriously if i told you, they would hunt me down and kill me. g >> jimmy: do they know what it means? >> i have almost 16 million followers on twitter. if i spoke in common language, the world would understand me. i like when the barbs and i have a code language, and cf is something we use to describe. can't tell you what it stand for. >> jimmy: cory feldman. is that it? >> yes. >> no cory feldman -- >> stand for something.
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>> jimmy: is it close friend? >> why would i not want my close friends to come. >> jimmy: doesn't make any sense. >> it has to do with people who wouldn't know my old stuff. people who only know starship. >> jimmy: your hard core fans. as an artist it is annoying, when the casual, casual fans. >> that's not what it means. a great. >> jimmy: i figured it out. >> another word for that. >> i got you. i got you. >> jimmy: why do you call your fans barbs? >> they're so cute and they're so pretty. >> jimmy: like barbie dolls, with a z. >> z, yes, of course, wouldn't use it with an s, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, like something that stuck in your finger if it was with an s. you give people nicknames on "american idol." i noticinged. >> i do. >> creative nicknames.
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something you do in real life? >> absolutely. since i was 5 years old. i gave my mother a nickname, micaw, a made of language. don't know where it came from. i asked her, can i call you me-caw? she would say yes, or no. >> jimmy: do you ask people? >> i ask them. >> jimmy: do they hate their nickname you give them? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are some that you have given that were rejected? >> on tour one of my beautiful fans. i don't know what she said to me. it made me think of something, and i calls her tennis balls. >> jimmy: tennis balls. >> i felt bad because it had the word balls in it. and then, and so i saw it in her face she was kind of like, beat up about it. but she wouldn't say anything. i was like you, know what i will call you tennis racket. >> jimmy: okay. >> that was her name? >> jimmy: that she was okay with? >> yeah. >> what would you call him if you had to give him a nickname?
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>> the security guard? >>. [ speaking foreign language ] >> where the mexicans at? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: calm down, mexicans. all right, well you are going to do, you got some music for us. the box set right here. of course, "american idol" wednesday and thursday on fox. and "pink friday: roman reloaded the re-up" is available now. we'll be right back with josh bowman. mmmm! this is microwaved? yeah. it's great.
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>> jimmy: still to come music from nicki minaj. our next guest is an
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englishman who plays an american on a show loosely based on a novel by a frenchman. you can see him as ceo daniel grayson on abc's "revenge", sunday nights at 9:00. please say hello to josh bowman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> whoa. >> jimmy: this is your first late night talk show appearance. >> it is. it is. when people sit here you think, they always sort of get comfortable. >> jimmy: is that what you are thinking about? >> when they first sit down. how will they sit? i will sit like this. if it is all right with you? >> jimmy: almost every guest comes in during the commercial break they tell me how uncomfortable the chair is. we make it uncomfortable so you can't lay back in it like you are home with your hand down your pants. >> nono, i will not do that. not yet. >> jimmy: you seem to be getting comfortable. everything all right.
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good to have you here? you are 24 years old. on your third career i heard. you were a model when you were a kid. how old were you when you were a model? >> that was like, i mean, baby modeling. i was like yea big. can't really call that a career. but i mean then i progressed into rugby. >> jimmy: into professional rugby. what team did you play for? >> sarasons. >> jimmy: sponsor name or name of a town? >> no, no, that's the name of the team. and actually i remember my first, this is what really put me off. i turned pro at 18 years old. i was only pro for six, seven months. my first training session i remember, and they have a position called a hooker, a little weird. weird, right? hooker. i should have known before i was signing up. anyway, you are not allowed to hold the ball on the floor, in a scrimmage. i was holding --
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holding on to the ball. and this guy, picks me up. i was only 1. he head butts me and goes get off the [ bleep ] ball. that was my first experience. a bloody nose. >> jimmy: my goodness. did this guy, this guy is -- >> the guy is called matt kahn, if you are watching, matt. >> jimmy: did you play him regularly? >> he was on my own team. he was on my own team. how can you do that? welcome to rugby, mate. so anyway, i quit. dislocated my shoulder. i had, dislocated my shoulder twice. that's what. >> jimmy: how do you dislow kca your shoulder? >> it's easy. we don't wear pad like american football players.
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>> jimmy: the american football players would eat you for lunch. >> they would. >> jimmy: nothing left but your ring. rugby players are tough guys. >> they are. >> jimmy: the head butting thing is a greeting, right? >> yeah. yeah. i wouldn't go that far. >> jimmy: you quit rugby altogether. >> i had to quit. dislocated my shoulder twice. so it was -- >> jimmy: how did you say all right, i will not play rugby the i will be an actor. they decided you were too handsome for a regular job. [ cheers and applause ] >> the manager said we are going to have to let you go because -- >> jimmy: you got the speech. >> i got the speech. in a way i was happy. i wasn't too into it. how can you be interested in breaking your bones and getting knocked out every week. >> jimmy: some people are. it is very strange. i watch football. i think if i got hit that hard one time, that would be the end of it for me. i would crawl back to the bench. and get in my car.
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>> never played american football? >> jimmy: no. >> in college? >> jimmy: the closest is video games. madden. >> i played madden with my friend. >> jimmy: played with my friend on the street. i decided not to go pro. >> you are a street kid. i like that. >> jimmy: didn't make high school or pop warner. decide to go into this instead. where do your parents live? >> my parents live in london. >> jimmy: they are still over there. >> still over there. my dad just came out. and my mom is coming out in two weeks. >> jimmy: do they stay with you when they come out? >> i have a one week rule, you know. one week and you can't, that's as long as the parents stay. gyp >> jimmy: do they abide by the rule? >> my dad pushes his luck. my mom comes over and prefers not to stay at my house. stays in a hotel. that's great. >> jimmy: are they actors? >> my mom -- you know, my mom is
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a funny one. i used to run lines with her. she used to get really into it. she would be like, she would be american, put on the american, hey, how you doing? how you doing? >> jimmy: talked like -- >> yeah, exactly. but sunny would though. it says brooklyn. she is going to be brooklyn. if the line says to laugh. she is like, ha-ha-ha. >> jimmy: that's annoying. >> very annoying. just speak the line. say the lines. >> jimmy: she is a frustrated actor. >> she wants to be on the show, interior designer on the show. >> jimmy: what? >> chosen a job to have on the show. >> she wants to be the interior designer of grayson manor. >> jimmy: she would come in. diabolical. moms look to rearrange your house to start with. usually the house, not the house on the tv show you are starring on. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: what about dad? >> dad, well dad is, he is, a
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funny one, dad. dad likes to, he likes to have a good time. he's the one, actually he came over recently. i actually, had a couple late nights. i had to get up at 5:00 for the call time. he wants to go out and party. come on, let's go out. >> jimmy: your dad is doing this to you? >> yeah. is there anything after a mid life crisis? >> jimmy: sound like there is, yeah. so dad comes out. >> he is great fun. >> jimmy: sound like maybe he is too much fun. >> he is a lot of fun. you would have fun with him yourself. >> jimmy: sound look you didn't have a lot of fun with him. >> he is good fun. he is good fun. >> jimmy: he is okay. you car dating your co-star, emily van kamp. >> yeah. emily. >> jimmy: that is a terrible idea. >> it is funny, the first time. >> jimmy: you made love? >> you are killing me.
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>> jimmy: tell us about the first time you made love. was your dad there? >> no, he wasn't. but your mom was. >> jimmy: very nice to meet you. congratulations on all your success on the show. it is called revenge. watch it, 9:00, sunday night on abc. that is josh bowman, everybody. we will be right back with nicki minaj. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: this is her box set called, "pink friday: roman reloaded the re-up". here with the songs, "va va voom" and "freedom", nicki minaj. [ cheers and applause ] >> give it up for nicki minaj! ♪ ♪ just met a boy just met a boy when he could come inside of my play pen 'cause he look ♪ ♪ like a superstar in the making so i think that i'm going in for the taking ♪ ♪ hear through the grape vine that he caking we could shoot a movie he could do the taping ♪ boom boom pow this thing be shaking i ain't even tryna find out who he dating 'cause i know he got ♪ ♪ a wife at home but i need just one night alone if he keep playing them kidding games imma run away aye imma run ♪
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♪ away aye aye i wanna give you one last option i wanna give you one last chance if you're ♪ ♪ looking for the main attraction just hold on tight and let me do my dance if you ♪ ♪ want it i'm gonna be va va voom voom if you got it you got it you got that ♪ ♪ boom boom if you want it i'm gonna be va va voom-voom if you got it you got it you got that ♪ ♪ in this club slow-mo don't mind if i do i can tell you're feeling me for the job ♪ you the man 100 yes i play it ♪
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♪ aye aye i wanna give you one last option i wanna give you one last chance if you're looking for the ♪ ♪ main attraction just hold on tight and let me do my dance if you want it i'm gonna be va va ♪ ♪ voom-voom if you got it you got it you got that boom boom if you want it i'm gonna be va va ♪ ♪ voom-voom if you got it you got it you got that boom boom ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ my rival then that means you're suicidal and if you in the club then it's a young money recital i'm just that vital i'm busy ♪ ♪ never idle i'm your idol i'm your idol i'm your idol pink friday in macy's

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