tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 16, 2013 7:00pm-7:30pm EDT
7:00 pm
>> jimmy: welcome. thank you very much. thank you for watching. i'd like to say happy father's day for those of you who are fathers. father's day is the one day of the year when you can't call home and say hey, dad, hand the phone to mom. you want to give your dad a good gift for father's day, start turning the lights off when you leave the room. nothing will make him happier. also like to wish a happy you're the father to the men of the nba. how many women in our audience have raised a child sired by an nba player? i thought there will be more. it's important to the fans, frns, this fan who was excited about the team' win. tell me your name. >> jay. >> how important was the win? >> this is the best thing in my
7:01 pm
life forever. nothing better than this. this is the best night. i have three kids, and this is still better than that night. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: not everyone likes their kids. a crushing loss in game three. heat won game 4 decisively. this has been a back and forth series. first game, spurs were like what's up? and the heat were like uh-huh. and spurs came back, and heat were like, oh, no you didn't. twice the heat have bounced back with a decisive victory. seems what they need is another loss to set them up for game 6, right? i don't know basketball strategy. tim duncan led the spurs with 20 points, five assists and a block, which is especially amazing because tim duncan has no arms. >> i don't see it any other way. >> jimmy: he's an inspiration to
7:02 pm
all of us. game 5 isn't the only big competition on tv tonight. the miss usa pageant airs tonight. just in case you're interested in 51 women who haven't eaten in a week, try to answer questions about marijuana and world peace. it's exciting because whoever wins the miss usa pageant, goes on to do nothing. i root for the one with the biggest teeth. that's my thing. scheduling the pageant on nba night say tough situation for donald trump. he's one of the owners of the miss usa pageant, but on the other, his face is exactly the color of a basketball. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: so what's he supposed to do. i saw something for sale in a real store, called opening ceremony, that is so insane i had it share it with it. it's called a basketball cage. hand made leather basketball holder because basketballs are
7:03 pm
so hard to hold. how much would you guess this item costs? right now it's $448. unfortunately we bought it for the original price of $640. this is it. i had to buy it, because i had to see it, and here it is. $640 basketball holder. who would buy this? even dennis rodman would say, that's ridiculous. someone designed this, drew it out on paper and had it made. i was so curious about the thought process behind this, i actually tracked the designer down. his name is ilya, and he happens to live right here in l.a. i decided to pay him a visit to ask about this unusual accessory. >> jimmy: hi, ilya? oh, there he is. >> hello there. welcome.
7:04 pm
>> jimmy: so you are the mad genius behind the basketball cage. >> isn't it delicious? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're welcome. tonight on the program, steve carell and kristen wiig are here. aur 2-year-old star is here. when we come back, we'll see terrible things for an unsuspecting fan. oaur 2-year-ol. when we come back, we'll see terrible things for an unsuspecting fan. uraur 2-year-o. when we come back, we'll see terrible things for an unsuspecting fan. 2-year-old st. when we come back, we'll see terrible things for an unsuspecting fan. great moments deserve the world's number one pizzas.
7:05 pm
that's why more people choose pizza hut every day. it's also why we're bringing back the $10 any pizza deal. now get any pizza. any size. any toppings. any way you wanna get it. for just 10 bucks. even specialties you can't get anywhere else like our meat lover's or supreme. because great moments deserve great pizza. the $10 any pizza deal is back. tonight, or any night, make it great.
7:06 pm
[ applause ] >> jimmy: big night here. we have a lot planned for you and a short time together this evening. steve carell and kristin wiig are here. and 2-year-old titus ashby who became an online sensation when this video went viral. he's undefeated against shaquille o'neal, and metta world peace. tonight he tangles with jason collins who bravely came out of the closet.
7:07 pm
tonight he might go back in. stick with us for that. this is my cousin sal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the fanatics are fans. when you love a player, it's easy to overlook their flaws. my cousin wanted to take advantage of that. he enlisted the help upof rajon rondo. with a fake autograph session where fans could meet rajon and gate their memorabilia signed. but what they didn't know was that the room was wired for sound and that rajon is very weird. >> how's it going? nice to see you. what's your name? >> dan. >> are you here to see rajon? >> i am. >> big fan for the celtics? >> yes. >> rajon he's got a cold and he's a huge germ fob, i want you to be safe, i want him to be safe.
7:08 pm
get you some purel, got the value bottle, little on the arms too, if you can. let me help you out. >> i just came from a work-out too. so i was all sweaty and stuff. >> please, don't even mention that. >> good. >> looking good so far. here you go. this goes around the ears. just in case. >> all right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: n >> not going to take any chances today. you good? i'm going to need to put some purel on that too. this is purell proof? >> i don't think so. >> let's do it anyway. that's okay. let's tuck that shirt in. >> okay. >> way up, way up, like old-school nba.
7:09 pm
okay, you're ready. rajon? >> what's the matter? >> no. seeing a lot of skin. >> all right, i'm going to wrap it up, rajon. i'm going to wrap it up. >> i was hiking. >> you were hiking? >> yeah. >> all right. we'll cover it up. >> we're almost there. hold on to that. what is that anyway? >> it's his rookie card. >> his rookie card. he was so sick when he was a rookie. >> what's up, sal? >> we'reetting there, getting there. that's about as good as we're going to get it. >> how about the legs? here he is. >> what's up, man? >> what's happening? [ inaudible ] >> you wipe everything down, sal? >> everything's pretty much wiped down.
7:10 pm
i know how you like it. he's got your rookie card. i don't know exactly where that's been. >> did you touch this? >> i didn't touch that. >> nobody touched it. >> it's going great. just turn it. his shoulder. can you cover his shoulder? okay, please. i can't even hear you. >> i know. it's fogging up in here. >> all right, quiet down. you're making this difficult. >> i was hoping to get a picture with him on my phone. >> no reaching in your pocket while you're here. sorry. what are you doing to the man's shorts? >> i'll get it, i'll get it. >> come on, sal. >> i got it.
7:11 pm
>> did you switch that thing off? >> i'll get one of you together. >> that's what i was hoping. >> don't get too close, though. stand on that side. >> one, two, three. [ cheers and applause ] >> cousin sal, everyone. we'll be right back with steve carell and kristin wiig. ♪ >> "jimmy kimmel live: game night" is presented by skype. in. you know we have been undefeated since you came into the world? it's pretty cool huh? announcer: lebron settling this one with monster at e buzzer, lebron... announcer: ...miami continue their streak. still watchin? good. by a gs3 or gs4 and get $100 off
7:13 pm
now that we've perfected it with [jimsnapple half and halfime, we must protect our process. meet our process, jasper. [jasper] that'll about do it. [announcer] snapple half and half. also, in diet. blue shirt: we do. amy: at&t? blue shirt: yes. amy: t mobile? blue shirt: sure. amy: sprint? blue shirt: mhmm. y: verizon? blue shirt: got it. amy: do you make commission on this? blue shirt: no. amy: do you have all the plans? blue shirt: we do. amy: does this make my head look big? blue shirt: no. y: can you activate all of these? blue shirt: yes we can. y: can you transfer my contacts? ue shirt: yes. amy: are you sure? blue shirt: yes. amy: i'm pretty popular. blue shirt: no problem. amy: you're good. what number am i thinking of? blue shirt: nine. amy: yes. vo: right now get a free droid dna by htc with a 2 year activation on verizon. only at best buy.
7:14 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: two most inspiring sports stories of this year, 2-year-old titus taking on jason collins in tonight's edition of clash of the tightus. but before we get to that, john stockton and the carl malone of comedy, you know their faces from everything everywhere, and now their voices team up for despicable me 2. >> hi. agent lucy wild of the avl. oops. sorry. you're going to have to come with me. >> oh, sorry. >> you know, you really should
7:15 pm
announce your weapons after you fire them, mr. grill. for example lipstick taser! oh, it works so good. >> jimmy: despicable me 2 opens in theaters tonight. please welcome kristin wiig and steve carell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? really good to see you. very good to see you. very enthusiastic. >> wow, yeah. >> jimmy: do you guys know each other? >> we met. when i hosted "saturday night live," we met. >> jimmy: do you like each other? did you hit it off immediately? >> i think she is the most fantastic person in the world. >> oh.
7:16 pm
>> i truly do. >> kristin wiig, come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> i am not fond of him. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, are you kidding? steve carell. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's true. >> jimmy: you're here on a basketball special. are you basketball fans? >> i enjoy a good game of basketball, myself. >> jimmy: did you play basketball? >> did i play basketball? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i am not suited for basketball. >> jimmy: you are not? >> no. >> jimmy: kristin, you? >> in high school, you mean? >> jimmy: or anything. >> no. i smoked. [ laughter and applause ] that's not u shouldn't smoke. >> jimmy: did you play sports at all? >> not really. i mean, i did a little, but i was not good. >> i played hockey and la
7:17 pm
crosse. >> jimmy: oh, okay, real white people sport. [ laughter ] >> i was a jock. i was a stud. >> jimmy: what position did you play? >> i was a goalie. from like 6 years old through college. >> jimmy: wow, so you were serious. part of being a goalie is being an intimidating presence. >> look at me! what i would do is i would grow various facial hairs, and at 16, can you grow some good facial hair, so it was a little less than this, basically that is what it looked like. and that earned me the nickname pepe. that was the one and only sports nickname i had. >> jimmy: if you're going to strike fear into the heart of an opponent, pepe is the way to go. this movie, despicable me 2 is
7:18 pm
the sequel to despicable me. >> was it the two? >> jimmy: that's what tipped me off. steve, you're playing the same character. kristin, you are not playing the same character? >> i'm playing a different character. i had a small part in the first one. i worked at the adoption agency and they asked me to come back. >> jimmy: and the idea is children who watched this are too stupid to understand that. you're playing something else. i don't want to embarrass you, but it seems like you have a piece of toilet paper on your shoe. >> yeah, i know. >> i have one too. >> jimmy: yeah, you do. why? >> it's our new footwear line. >> they're called t.p. striders. >> jimmy: t.p. striders? [ cheers and applause ] >> you don't know what t.p. striders are? >> jimmy: no. never heard of them, no.
7:19 pm
>> okay, dad. >> okay, daddy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it something -- >> you haven't seen the commercial? >> they play it constantly during your show. >> jimmy: oh, i don't watch the show. they do? they play on during this show? >> jimmy: really? we have it? apparently have the commercial here. t.p. striders the only awesome shoe with paper on the bottom. t.p., t.p. strider, la la la la, t.p. strider. steve carell and kristin wiig, la la la la, la la la love them ♪ t.p. striders as scene on jimmy kimmel live. >> we love our t.p. striders. >> t.p. striders, available wherever shoes are sold.
7:20 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was completely unaware of this. i did not know about that. >> they paid us in t.p. striders. >> we each got one. >> who wants a t.p. strider? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: steve carell and kristin wiig, everybody. we'll be right back with sure-shot titus. [ male announcer ] with the new subway $4 lunch, you so got it made. tons of fully-loaded 6 inch subs and 21 ounce drinks to choose from, just $4. all day, every day. ♪ subs made just the way i say ♪ i got it made yep, the spicy italian's included, the meatball marinara, the egg & cheese omelet and many more! and it's always made exactly the way you say. you so got it made. hurry in today for the new subway $4 lunch.
7:21 pm
♪ at subway! ♪ ♪ at subway! this is what matters. the experience of a product. how will it make someone feel? will it make life better? does it deserve to exist? we spend a lot of time on a few great things. until every idea we touch enhances each life it touches. you may rarely look at it. but you'll always feel it. this is our signature.
7:22 pm
and it means everything. because what you dont know can hurt you.urance, what if you didn't know that it's smart to replace washing-machine hoses every five years? what if you didn't know that you might need extra coverage for more expensive items? and what if you didn't know that teen drivers are four times more likely to get into an accident? 'sup the more you know, the better you can plan for what's ahead. talk to farmers and get smarter about your insurance. ♪ we are farmers bum - pa - dum, bum - bum - bum -bum ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ all this, and europe, only on royal caribbean. book your european cruise today.
7:23 pm
call 1-800-royal caribbean. >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live: game night." if you watched our nba final special you're familiar with trick shot titus ashby, a 2-year-old basketball phenom who has challenged many nba stars. thus far, he's undefeated. he's playing against kobe bryant, shaquille o'neal, the great shooter. he played metta world peace. each of them tried np none of them could defeat young titus. tonight we have one more competitor, now a free agent, please welcome all seven feet of jason collins!
7:24 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: his opponent tonight, accompanied by his father joseph, trick shot titus ashby! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? you feel good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you think you can beat this guy? you can? how you doing? well, this is exciting. titus, jason. jason, titus. this might be the bravest thing you've ever done, jason. >> i saw what happened to you. >> jimmy: are you ready? time now for clash evof the tit! >> clash of the titus, brought to you by state farm. >> jimmy: also we have two hoops. each hoop is set at exactly each shooter's height to make it
7:25 pm
fair. jason's rim at seven feet. titus at three feet. you have 30 seconds to make as many shots as possible. hey look, that's my cousin sal. >>. [ cheers and applause ] >> you want to go first? >> sure. >> jimmy: i will shag the balls. cousin sal, put 30 seconds on the clock, please. begin. [ cheers and applause ] we got some trouble here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: three seconds. two seconds. one second. and the number to beat is four.
7:26 pm
he made four shots. now we turn to titus. thank you, jason. nicely done. the kid's going to crush you, let's be honest. there he is. titus, how do you feel tonight? you feel good? >> yes. >> jimmy: you want to shoot some baskets? >> yes. >> jimmy: are you ready? >> yes. >> there's cousin sal. we'll give you 30 seconds. >> jimmy: he can't count. >> are you ready? >> shoot, titus! >> jimmy: that's one. [ cheers and applause ]
7:27 pm
>> jimmy: unbelievable! congratulations, titus! you've done it again. and i have something important to tell you, titus. you're not going to understand any of this, but we are not the only big titus fans. your generous neighbors at state farm have set aside $50,000 of scholarship money for you when you go to college. there you go. congratulations! nicely done. thanks to titus. thank you. you know what, you tried, but he was too tough. >> i came up a little short. >> jimmy: you look good in that hat. i think you'll make a very fine graduate. thank you, titus. goodnight, everybody. >> state farm is assisting titus's future with a $50,000 scholarship to the college of his choice. state farm, the assist to get you to a better state.
170 Views
1 Favorite
IN COLLECTIONS
WJLA (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on