>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, dennis quaid, comedian bill burr, jake byrd at the presidential inauguration and music from andrew mcmahon in the wilderness. and now here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very kind. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thanks be to god, god looked down and said, i am not going to

lined up for this show. did it rain on you? [ audience: no ] >> jimmy: god has spoken given, it's amazing. we have a lot to get to tonight with the bachelor, football -- that's it, really. first, this was our first weekend with our new celebrity president. and you know how -- sometimes there's a lot of hype for something and then when it finally happens it disappoints? well, that was certainly not the case for president donald john madden trump this weekend. saturday trump paid a visit to the cia to make nice after repeatedly insulting them on twitter. he called it the central intelligence agency and compared them to nazis which is the kind of thing that upsets people. so in order to mend the fence, he made his first official visit as president. his first visit was to cia headquarters. he spoke in front of the wall of agency heroes. this is a memorial wall to the agents who gave their lives to this country. while he did take time to tell the agents in the room

have his full support, most of his speech focused on all sorts of other stuff. he talked about tom brady, he talked about his uncle, he talked about how smart he is, he bragged about how many times he's been on the cover of "time" magazine, and mostly he complained about how the media is reporting the size of his crowd at the inauguration. >> honestly, looked like 1.5 million people. whatever it was, it was. it went all the way back to the washington monument. and i turn it on and by mistake i get this network. and it showed an empty field. and it said we drew 250,000 people. now that's not bad. but it's a lie. >> jimmy: he is so focused on size. nobody asked him about that, by the way, he brought it up. he's focused on the size of his crowds, the size of his ratings, the size of his hands, the size offing of. again, he's supposed to be there to make peace with the cia but he couldn't help himself. he had a crowd and he just started

talking to a c-i-ciatrist. prp. >> jimmy: thank you for applausing that stupid joke. i'm sure you saw this. a reporter from the "new york times" posted this photo comparing the crowd at his inauguration to the crowd at obama's in 2009. which it looks like a before ask after picture for rrogaine. who cares, he won the election. but he was so mad he made his press secretary this guy sean spicer, who hadn't even had his first press conference yet, he made him gather the press immediately on a saturday to yell at them. here's donald trump's press secretary sean spicer. [ yelling in foreign language ] >> jimmy: hold on, that's the wrong dictatorship. this is sean spicer. >> inaccurate numbers involving crowd size were also tweeted. no one had numbers. because the national park

service, which controls the national mall, does not put any out. this was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period. >> jimmy: no one had numbers, bunt it was the largest, period! that poor bastard doesn't even know where the coffee machine is yet, he's already having to yell at everybody. whether you believe this or not i guess depends on which eye you use to look at it. if you use the left eye, yeah, obama's crowd looks larger. if you look at it through the right eye, still larger, still the same. so that was saturday. then yesterday trump's senior adviser kelly anne amway somehow managed to top it. >> it undermines the credibility of the entire white house press office on day one -- >> no, it doesn't, don't be so overly dramatic. you're saying it's a falsehood, and sean spicer our press secretary gave alternative facts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right, he wasn't lying, he gave alternative

facts. it's like if you told a police officer, i wasn't speeding, i was just accelerating excessively. every week now we get a new phrase. not since consciously uncoupled have i heard something as conveniently skewed as alternative facts. i wish i'd known about alternative facts when i was in high school. i would have had straight as. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of high school. this is on the first full day in office. this is what trump tweeted. he wrote, i am honored to serve you. he spelled honored wrong. or maybe it's an alternative spelling, i don't know. alternative facts, i don't know about you, who came up with this? whoever did this congratulations. because can i get a camera over here from above? i'd like if you will allow me, i'd like to share some alternative facts about me. here we go. where do i look? all right. you know, at the olympics this summer, i beat usain bolt to w

dash. i am the fastest man alive. and i have the medal to prove it. it's truish. furthermore, i want you to know, every woman to whom i've ever made love has written me a letter of thanks. applauding not only my performance but also the magnitude of my manhood. which historians agree is the largest ever recorded. and finally, i would like to thank each of the 1.3 million people in this room tonight for helping the effort -- [ cheers and applause ] the largest talk show audience ever. thank you for believing in me and thank you for this. by the way, i got this for the seco sex, not the race. guillermo, from now on you're 6'3". >> guillermo: all right, i'm 6'3". >> jimmy: even fox news, where they typically defend even donald trump's least defensible moments wld not allow team trump to get away with this

trump's chief of staff. >> take a look at these pictures. >> that there's -- >> wait. take a look at those pictures. on the left you've got the obama inaugural crowd. on the right you've got the trump inaugural crowd. which one is bigger? >> listen. you're also not saying that that picture was taken before he was even speaking. you can -- >> i was there. i was there on the mall. >> i was there too. >> this is a ridiculous conversation. >> jimmy: yes, one of many ridiculous conversations we will be having over the next four years. and this was only the first weekend. so then sean spicer had to face the press today and he really had no excuse for what he said on saturday. to give him one we kindly slowed him down to half speed for our first-ever edition of "drunk sean spicer." [ tape playing slowly ] >> even the "new york times"

printed a fo -- a photograph -- showing that a -- a misrepresentation of the crowd in the original tweet -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: meanwhile, in fairness, president trump actually did draw a huge crowd over the weekend. on saturday between 3 million and 5 million people, mostly women, gathered to support him. was that what they were doing? [ laughter ] in new york, l.a., chicago, washington, d.c. but there were protests in all 50 states. in 32 countries. they say it was the biggest protest in american history. which can you man jimagine havi that many women get mad at you? [ laughter ] i get nervous when only one woman is mad at me. it had hands-down the funniest signs of any protest ever. here are some of my favorites, real signs. we shall overcomb. melania, blink twice if you want us to save you.

this march is terrific, we have the best marches. i've seen smarter cabinets at ikea. trump skis in jeans. this sign isn't very good but neither is our president. he doesn't even have a dog. this one is simple but effective, i'm very upset. there are kids out there too. i hope this kid made her own sign. read into it what you want. other children focused on issues personal to them. i love legos. i heart trains. the real win they are weekend bass the poster board industry, right? i mean, really. now on the opposite end of the female empowerment spectrum, tonight on abc we had a new episode of "the bachelor." it was episode 4. [ cheers and applause ] the women packed up their emotional baggage for a visit to nick's hometown in wisconsin. never has a group of women pretended to be more excited

wisconsin, than tonight. nick ran into an ex-girlfriend. by ran into i mean the producers called his ex-girlfriend. put a microphone on her. put her in the spot where he would be. so that was natural. the villain this season, i don't know if you've been watching, this woman corinne, 24 years old, she has a nanny at home. she's the worst person in the whole world. she's terrible. and the women are forming an alliance against her. but nick just keeps voting her in every week. there's a lot of tension as a result of that this week. things got so contentious this week, corinne couldn't even. >> i can't even. i literally can't even. >> jimmy: yeah, that's bad when you literally can't even. because up until then she'd figuratively been able to can't even. i have a feeling corinne's about one week away from going back to her nanny. but we'll see. maybe she'll be the one he picks to not marry, who knows. the matchup for super bowl li is set. it will be the atlanta falcons versus the new england patriots. [ cheers and applause ]

that's tom brady, the quarterback for the patriots. seen here in a giant jacket. he will be making his seventh appearance in a super bowl, which is nice to finally see something good happen to tom brady. after the game, the owner of the patriots, robert kraft, addressed the hometown fans. this clip we did not slow down. this is sober robert kraft. >> for -- for a number of reasons, all of you in this stadium understand how big this win was. but we have to go to houston and -- win one -- >> robert, jonathan, congratulations. coach belichick, i'm going to hand this to you.

>> jimmy: bill belichick was not amused. we have to take a break. when we come back we have something special. we sent our friend and number one super-fan jake byrd to washington, d.c. to file a special report from the inauguration. if you're not familiar with jake byrd, here he was at a trump rally in dallas in september of 2015. >> don't forget, i love these people back there. >> we love you, we love you, donald! we love you, donald! >> jimmy: jake byrd tackles the inauguration, right after the break. so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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>> jimmy: hi, there.

welcome back. bill burr, music from andrew mcmahon and the wilderness on the way. first, as you know on friday we swore in a new president. anywhere from 250,000 to 250 million people were on hand to witness the inaugurated show on earth. one of those people was donald trump superfan jake byrd. ♪ >> daddy's home, america! daddy's home, ha ha ha! hey, make it look like my ding dong. make it look like my ding dong. >> i think donald trump is a smart leader. >> i think he's going to make america great again. >> they say donald trump doesn't support the lgbtgif, but he loves those lady dudes. half those expensive escorts he hired were part fella.

>> i think we're going to be sorely disappointed in what actually happens as a result of this election -- >> it's time to come together as a country, to move forward. forget about the past and move forward toward the past. to the time when women's reproductive rights were women's reproductive wrongs. sick people stayed sick. >> you got to just keep your hands of my body. you guys are so libertarian, you want to do whatever you want, you don't want any kind of government interference except you feel entitled to tell me what to do. >> yeah, yeah. >> it's definitely taking a 360 from a typical. >> and he's an amazing author. he writes big and kick-ass. chapter 7, one thing i love is food. last night i came out with the perfect way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. put peanut butter on both sides of the bread. anyway, we've got to get rid of the mexicans. he's going to kick ass. >> want to buy a flag? >> trump stuff!

don't waste your money on official gear when you can get cut-rate unofficial gear right here! you're laughing but this is not a joke. if this was a joke i'd say, why is donald's sex life like his last name? they both end in "p" but it's not a joke. guys want some stuff? are you guys cops? you've got to tell me if you are. no celebrities here? look behind me. optimus prime! ♪ >> this is where forrest gump got aids from jenny. right there. right there. donald trump forever! whoo! yeah! we got to get his clothes off, people! where's waldo in here? >> the well-known bruce springsteen b street band will not be playing at a washing

♪ >> hello, new jersey! are we ready to show washington how we party new jersey style? ♪ sent him over to viet cong he had bone spurs no cong for don ♪ ♪ he came home to protect his land and kick out all the mexicans ♪ ♪ come on don in the usa ♪ don in the usa ♪ >> how is it to be here? >> wonderful, we have a president who's not afraid to say the things that the voices in my head scream. is this foreign press? nato, thank you!

finally some non-fake news. non-fake news! usa! let me tell you something. the guy who fired sinbad is about to have his hand on the lincoln bible. america's already great again! okay, it's all starting to happen, the crowds are filing in. let's find a place where we can get really, really close to people. ♪ ♪ jose can you leave ♪ by like later ton today >> the 45th president of the united states of america, donald j. trump. >> it's all happening, it's really happening! it's the purge! kiss, kiss, kiss! so close. five bucks to give charles in charge a shout-out. >> the united states of america is your

>> and russia's also your country! now we also get russia, it's a two-fer! >> we share one heart, one home. >> i shared one heart with my brother in the womb but i ended up eating him. >> america first, america first -- >> we will shine. for everyone to follow. >> the shining! stay young! >> together we will make america strong again. >> yes! it's going to get it! >> we will make america safe again. >> say it, say it, say it! >> yes, together, we will make america great again! >> yeah! yeah! >> god bless america. >> the greatest day of my life! the greatest day of my life!

we have a daddy, daddy's home! daddy's home! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very sweet. thank you, jake. how nice. >> trump stuff, trump stuff! >> jimmy: we have a new show tonight. >> trump stuff! >> jimmy: be right back with dennis quaid, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by gsn. the game show network. united they win, divided they can lose it all.

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, a very funny guy, this is one of the funniest men currently alive right now. he has a new comedy special for netflix called "walk your way out," bill burr is here. then, after bill, this is his forthcoming album titled "zombies on broadway," music from andrew mcmahon in the wilderness. tomorrow night,

matthew mcconaughey and milla jovovich will be here with music from the americanos and later this week martin short, samuel l. jackson, edgar ramirez, jason momoa and music from lady antebellum and kehlani. please join us for all that. in his long and storied career, our first guest has survived great white sharks, space travel, lindsay lohan, you name it. his new movie "a dog's purpose." >> that can't be him. is that him? it is him! it's him! yes! yes, it's him! >> hey, hey, hey! >> it's me! bailey bailey bailey! doodle dog! after all these lives i'd actually found him, i'd found ethan. >> jimmy: a dog's purpose" opens friday

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how you been? >> hey. >> jimmy: you know what? i don't think of you as an ethan. i don't think i could ever think of you as an ethan. >> really? it's my middle name. >> jimmy: is it really? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] what is "a dog's purpose"? it's to hump legs, right? >> that is one of the -- yes. a very important purpose, i guess, with your dog. but yeah, i think it's about a dog's purpose is to show us what the -- how beautiful it is to be alive. >> jimmy: oh, that is a good purpose. >> right here and now. >> jimmy: you've ruined the ending of the film, but yes. it's a good purpose. i want to ask you about something. i've been wanting to talk to you about this for quite a while now. >> yes. >> jimmy: how long -- there was a video -- >> me too,

we both know what we're talking about. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we're like a dog, we can read each other's minds. >> we know each other's purpose. there was a video in which it appeared to be a behind the scenes video on set of the tv show in which you lost your mind. well, let's take a look at the video here. >> what the [ bleep ]? i am acting here! and this [ bleep ] wanders onto my set! i can't even get a line out -- don't [ bleep ] starts whisp whispering in your ear, you're not even watching anymore! >> dennis, dennis -- >> don't [ bleep ] dennis me! >> jimmy: that video becomes a viral video. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and people start blaming me for doing it. >> you were such a great patsy. >> jimmy: when i had nothing to do with it. i was going, well, i know i had nothing to do with this. you did this. >> for "funnier guy," a comedy sketch. they offered me five skits. and thi

to be either great or a big dud. we did it. and you know, it was a hoax. we were going to show what really happened. >> jimmy: leading up to? >> a day or two later. i was in new york. and when it came out, in the morning, it broke. i didn't even know it had broken. i turn on the tv and there's al roker going, "dennis, come in. you need an intervention, we can help you." [ laughter ] oh-oh, better call my mom. i hadn't told her about it yet. >> jimmy: the acting is so good in it. i was like, oh. i didn't do this. this must be a real thing. >> yeah. you said something like pull 50 pranks and people think -- they don't trust you anymore. >> jimmy: i know, it's so unfair. just for the record, i had nothing to do with that. >> okay. >> jimmy: and it really -- it backfired on you, i guess? are you glad that you did it? >> oh, it turned out to be one of the most fun times i ever had. >> jimmy: okay, all right.

well, as long as -- >> somebody's having a good time, it's all right. >> jimmy: last time here you were talking about you went to play golf with bill clinton when he was in the white house. >> yes. >> jimmy: have you golfed with our current president, donald trump? >> i actually did. about four years ago. >> jimmy: and how did it go? >> they both have pretty good swings. donald only played two holes with us. >> jimmy: why? >> because he had better things to do. >> jimmy: oh, okay. he was pretty good? >> yeah, he was good. >> jimmy: did he cheat? we hear he cheats on the golf course. >> you know, you never know. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> president clinton cheat on the golf course? >> that was called a presidential pardon. >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] >> he was giving me seven-foot putts. >> you've been in so many movies. there's one i saw on your imbd that i don't remember you being in. "stripes." >> yes. >> jimmy: bill murray. >> right. >> jimmy: a movie i've seen probably 40 or 50

don't you. >> jimmy: now i -- >> i was married to p.j. sales at the time, she played the female lead. i'd come to visit. i guess i got caught in a frame or something like that. >> jimmy: the one with the spatula? >> yes, the spatula girl, that's right. >> jimmy: wow. you did what? the movie? >> i think i was just trying to find the restroom or something. [ laughter ] there on the set. and i must have been caught in a frame. so i guess they had to credit me. or uncredit me. or something. >> jimmy: i want to mention, "a dog's purpose," there was a video people got very upset about. i didn't see it. there was a dog that people were saying was mistreated. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was this another one of your braings? >> no. it's not a prank. somebody did shoot video and then took the video and edited other pieces to it. to make it look like a dog was abused. >> jimmy: why did they do that? >> well, he held on to it for 15 months until a wee

storm about how the dog was abused. >> jimmy: oh. >> the dog was abused? why didn't you raise something at the time? >> jimmy: you didn't see any dog abuse? >> i don't know, maybe it was a guy that was at the inauguration taking video as well. >> jimmy: see, this is how the media goes. yeah. >> well, we've got to get our fake news stories straight. >> jimmy: so our fake news stories, to get them straight, you filming out on set was fake news. >> yes, kind of, sort of. intentional. >> jimmy: intentional fake news. the dog also fake news, also intentional, but a different intention? you remember you're under oath. >> just fake news. >> jimmy: donald trump cheated at golf? >> you never know. >> jimmy: i feel like we've learned nothing. yet we've learned a lot from this, dennis. >> yes. >> jimmy: will you be pulling any more pranks in the future? have you learned your lesson? >> i -- i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know,

it's very good to see you. the movie is "a dog's purpose." it opens friday. dennis quaid, everybody. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ship comes in" by the hollies ♪ oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path ♪ ♪ and the seagulls they'll be smilin ♪ ♪ and the rocks on the sand it's so peaceful out here. yeah. introducing the new turbocharged volkswagen alltrack with 4motion® all-wheel drive. soon to be everywhere. imy moderate to severeng crohn's disease. i didn't think there was anything else to talk about. but then i realized there was. so, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. he said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms

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>> jimmy: welcome back. bill burr and music from andrew mcmahon and the wilderness is on the way. "divided"gy gsn, it's part game show, part social experiment, strangers have to work together to win money. >> guillermo: i'm guillermo. a new game show, we ask people on tough questions, if they can agree an answer, they can make a lot of money. quick, which one's the best snack on the table? >> i think it's the cookies. >> i think it's the doughnuts. >> the cookies are better. >> definitely the doughnuts. >> fresher, the cookies are fresher. >> the doughnuts are fresh from this morning. >> guillermo: the longer you fight the less money you win. >> the cookies, the cookies. >> guillermo: great job. i'll take the doughnuts. who's the most stinky in your family? who stinks? you stink? >> no. >> no. >> pointing to her. >> your feet. >> sorry, guys. >> guillermo: we got a

yeah! which one of you guys have the best body? >> me! >> i'm working on it. >> i'm the best! look at that, bro. >> guillermo: oh my god, good job! hi, everyone. who's the laziest person at the show? >> you are! ♪ >> guillermo: i never felt so divided in my life. >> dicky: watch "divided" thursday on gsn, the game show network. united they win, divided they could lose it all. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with bill burr! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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>> jimmy: our next guest is a very funny man who had a very big weekend. his first child was born and his beloved new england patriots are going to the super bowl. we'll let him rank those himself. his new standup comedy special, "walk your way out," premieres on netflix a week from tomorrow, please welcome bill burr.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's very good to see you, congratulations on the baby. you just had the baby? >> friday morning. [ cheers and applause ] >> i didn't, my wife did. i didn't. i didn't do anything. i felt unbelievably useless. i was in total panic mode. when i dropped her off at the emergency room she goes, you've got to park the car down in the spot. and i swear to god i was in such fight or flight, driving down there this voice in my head said, just keep going, keep going, just drive away. of course i wouldn't. but i started laughing. isn't that like a bruce springsteen song, going out to get cigarettes? something hilarious about people abandoning their family. [ laughter ] i can't imagine like the hell that you would be in to

move. but just knowing you were going to do it, the level of excitement that you would have before. like okay! i'm going to go get some cigarettes! and i'm never going to see you people again! your moerther-in-law. all of this stuff is over. >> jimmy: i went out for a ride and i never came back. but you came back, you parked the car. did you have a car seat in the car? are you prepared? >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: you think so? well -- you're supposed to go down to the fire department. >> jimmy: yes, to get it checked. >> to make sure that you put the thing in correctly. i've gone down to this firehouse twice and there's nobody there. i keep knocking on the door. the tv's on. there's no trucks there. i've been there twice. i was joking with my wife, even the guy who makes the chili doesn't hang around? there's got to be somebody here. what if i was od'ing? i don't know, i think evidently it's all right. it's kind of a scam, the car seat

>> until you're 9 years old, some giant kid, putting them into the car? it's all weird. you've got to buckle that thing. >> jimmy: my parents kept my niece and nephew until they were teenagers in the car seat. meanwhile, consiswhen i was a k head went through the windshield, we weren't even strapped in. >> the seat belt was this, your mother grabbed you like that. >> jimmy: my mother's powerful arm keeping me back, yeah. >> that was it. >> jimmy: did you cut the umbilical cord snfrkts yeah, i did do that. it's so funny. going into the delivery room. it's so ridiculous. you're sitting there like, it's not -- i don't know why i was there. i felt like a radio contest, they were like, hey, wear some scrubs and watch some doctors work! sort of just sitting there. it was the dumbest thing. i used to work in a dental office. we wouldn't let people in there, because if they saw blood, some people faint. then you go from one patient to go. then i'm going to go in there and see this "saving p

stay north of the sheet and all of that. i will tell you, when i saw my kid, i didn't have like -- everybody was like, you're going to burst down crying. i was like scared of it. sitting there like, hey, there, buddy. i didn't want to touch it. then like afterwards they give it to me. i'm hanging with her for the first time, feeling nothing. i put my head down in the bassinet, oh my god, i'm a serial killer, i don't feel things. but i realized that everybody had so filled my head what you're going to feel and all this type of thing, i was living their experience. i had to let it go and then gradually -- >> jimmy: are you starting to feel anything? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: you are. >> i'm german-irish, it takes awhile to warm up to you. you know? >> jimmy: maybe by the 1st birthday. >> by the next couple of times they sneeze, it's over. of course it happened. but you know. it's a lot. it's a lot. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, it's a lot, sure it is. it's different now, everything's different. you look at everything

the patriots game, did you watch at home? >> no, i watched in the hospital on one of the worst tvs ever. the hospital thing. it's like they're trying to kill the dad. they had this la-z-boy from lake 1968. like the prototype. i'm supposed to sleep on it. every time i moved it was squeaking. i thought it was my baby crying. they had some little tv. going into a dream sequence kind of thing, it was doing that the whole game. i had no idea what quarter it was. and i was like yelling at the announcers. say the score, say the score! so i was able to watch it. >> jimmy: this kid is already affecting your lifestyle. >> oh, yeah, she laid on my chest the whole time. >> jimmy: you like a lot of patriots fans have a full-on almost sexual attraction to tom brady? [ laughter ] it seems like every guy who's a patriots fan -- >> no, that's -- that's outside the tom brady bubble. all you guys looking in, wishing that was your quarterback. >> jimmy: you do have it?

>> see, he won it. you're putting words into my mouth. you're going a little psycho on me right now. no, i don't. >> jimmy: speaking of going psycho, i saw your netflix special, it's hilarious. very, very funny. [ cheers and applause ] that's nice of the audience to react like that but it hasn't actually aired yet so you're lying. [ laughter ] you shot in nashville. you're not from nashville, obviously. why did you shoot in nashville? >> because you know something, the special i did before, i wanted to shoot in san francisco, awe the bs didn't work out. the last second we had to get a theater and i did it in atlanta. northern guy, boston guy, going in front of this southern crowd and everything. like this whole new vibe came in where that i really enjoyed where it was like, rather than do a special like, do it in your hometown, everybody thinks the same way. you kind of lose that great element of standup of like people not understanding necessarily your

then you get heckled, then it feels like a live show. and how i chose nashville was i did vince vaughn's "wild west" comedy festival they have. it's where they did the original grand ole opry. you've got to see this place. i just walked in, it had that magic. >> jimmy: it's so funny. >> so incredible. >> jimmy: very funny. and your podcast which i love, you know do it twice a week. and it's different from most pod casts in that there are no guests. you just rant and rave for a full hour. >> yeah, yes. >> jimmy: are you doing that in the house? >> yes. >> jimmy: you should make sure the baby doesn't hear you doing that. >> yeah, i'll figure something out. >> jimmy: i think it could trouble the child. >> the rope why i don't have a guest is because like then you've got to -- it becomes a job. then people, i can't find your house, can we do it next thursday, all that. i didn't get in this business to have a job. you know? [ laughter ] i didn't want to have a job. you know? so i just -- yeah i just go off on stuff.

people started writing in questions, it kept building. >> jimmy: it's excellent, i am a big fan, i listen to it all the time. bill burr, everybody! "walk your way out" on netflix january 31st. be right back with andrew mcmahon and the wilderness!

>> jimmy: thanks to dennis quaid, thanks to bill burr, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first his album "zombies on broadway" comes out february 10th. here with "fire escape," andrew mcmahon and the wilderness! ♪ ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ i met up with an acrobat in brooklyn or some place like that with life and taxis flying past we tore ♪ ♪ that dance hall down oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ pocket change and subway cars your big ideas filled empty bars you might be from the moon or mars either way ♪ ♪ i'm never going home

oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ so let's hang an anchor from the sun there's a million city lights but ♪ ♪ you're number one you're the reason i'm still up at dawn just to see your face ♪ ♪ we'll be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ i was drinking from the wishing well some junkie metal-head hotel ♪ ♪ when we boarded the carousel the roof was caving in oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ on the stage my oxblood friend was singing songs about the end the bankers in the lion's den ♪ ♪ were dropping lines like

beggars in the snow ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ so lets hang an anchor from the sun there's a million city lights but ♪ ♪ you're number one you're the reason i'm still up at dawn just to see your face ♪ ♪ we'll be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh swinging from the fire escape ♪ ♪ walking home your hand in mine tattoos on the river line the morning birds are taking flight ♪ ♪ either way i thought that you should know ♪ ♪ you're my number one you're the reason i'm still

up at dawn just to see your face ♪ ♪ we'll be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake ♪ ♪ you're my number one you're the reason i'm still up at dawn just to see your face ♪ ♪ we'll be going strong with the vampires baby we belong we belong awake ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ swinging from the fire escape ♪

this is a special edition of "nightline." inside 30:the first days. tonight, president trump making good on his campaign promises. >> great thing for the american worker, what we just did. >> meeting with business leaders to bring back american jobs. with his top aides sworn in, from kellyanne conway to his son-in-law jared. today his press contrary sorting the alternative facts from fiction. >> will you pledge never to knowingly say something that is not factual? plus, meet the resistance. millions of women marching across the nation. with celebrities like madonna and ashley judd. >> we are here to be nasty! >> leading the charge. we'll hear from those with the most at stake. immigrants dreaming of staying in america. >> this is