>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- will arnett -- from "being mary jane," gabrielle union -- and music from charli xcx. and now, once again -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for come. thanks for -- my fly was open a second before the announcement. hey, by the way, today, i don't know if you know this, today is a holiday. it's a major holiday today but only in boston.

because the quarterback for the new england patriots, tom brady, declared it a holiday. [ cheers and applause ] which i did not know he had the power to do that. he gave everyone the day off today. i don't think the mayor's even allowed to give people -- has an athlete ever overthrown a city government before? because it could be dangerous. what if he decides to use his powers for evil? you know, tom brady is gluten free, what if he makes everyone go gluten free? you order a lobster roll, you get a handful of seafood, you know in the patriots had their big super bowl victory parade today. it was very cold but that didn't stop the die-hards from having a good time. most of them were too drunk to feel anything anyway. even the patriots players got loaded on the duck boats. look at that, drinking beers. chris long, defensive end, draining a beer.

wait until st. patrick's day to get publicly intoxicated before noon. but this parade really hit the spot. watch this. that's rob ninkovich. you'll see what he has in his hand, he's drinking vodka straight from the bottle. [ cheers and applause ] no mixers. and of course even though he didn't play in the game, no celebration in boston would be complete without some words of wisdom from the man monkey known as gronk. >> the parade is hands-down my favorite event i've been to twice now in my life. that's just motive -- motivating me more to keep getting parades. it's the best time ever. >> what are you going to tell all those kids out there? >> all the kids -- tell you the truth, i wasn't even planning on partying coming out in this. but the faness were asking for it and i'm giving the fans what they wanted to get. so i partied for the fans. >> jimmy: oh, that's -- thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, gronk, for your

sacrifice. thank you for your service i should say. so congratulations to patriots. i also want to say something to falcons fans. anyone here from atlanta toni t tonight? well, don't be sad. you had a great season. second place. look at katherine mcphee, okay? remember that. meanwhile, in washington today, there was no victory parade for president trump's pick to run the department of education. the democrats pulled an all-nighter on the senate to try to get one more republican to vote against her. they could not do that and betsy devos squeaked in 51-50, which is terrible news for democrats and even worse news for grizzly bears. [ laughter ] you have to give her a chance. she already had an innovative new loon plan for our public schools, which are now brought to you by mountain dew code red. [ laughter ] trump's press secretary sean spicer addressed the confirmation during his daily press briefing where he slowed him down for ni

[ tape playing very slowly ] >> the vice president had a big day on capitol hill where he cast a historic deciding vote for secretary of ed -- ed -- education. betsy devos. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how he gets through the day. so while all this is going on in washington, this is what president obama has been up to. kite surfing. [ cheers and applause ] with richard branson. look at him, he's getting all the obamacare in the world. [ cheers and applause ] that is a smile of a man who had no idea he might not be allowed back in the country. [ laughter ] meanwhile, president trump is mad as a hornet. he tweeted this morning, i don't know putin, i have no deals in russia, and the haters are going

iran, number one in terror, no problem. you know, there actually was a time in our history when this a president used the phrase "haters are going crazy" we might be alarmed. we might even be told to remain in our homes if the haters were going crazy. [ laughter ] can we show the photo of obama again? er never coming back. [ cheers and applause ] trump says he doesn't know vladimir putin. they did match up on tinder, they went on one date. he says he has no deals in russia. if you can't take his word for it, take his other word for it. >> what exactly is your relationship with vladimir putin? >> i have no relationship with putin. i have no relationship with putin. >> do you have a relationship with vladimir putin? >> i do have a relationship. >> i have nothing to do with putin, never spoken to him, i don't know anything about him other than he will respect me. >> i got to know him very well. we were both on "60 mi

>> we did "60 minutes" together. by the way, not together, together. he was in moscow, i was in new york. >> i was in moscow, miss universe pageant. they treated me so great. putin sent me a present, beautiful present with a beautiful note. i spoke to all of his people. >> i spoke indirectly and directly with president putin, when could not have been nicer. >> i don't know putin. i have no idea -- >> i'm not asking you that. >> have you met vladimir putin? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, okay, thanks for clearing that up. [ cheers and applause ] he'll meet him. president trump has been lashing out wildly at the media lately. yesterday he accused the very, very dishonest press of intentionally not reporting terrorist attacks. which he's right, why don't we ever hear about terrorist attacks on the news? why don't they make cute animal videos on youtube anymore? his theory i guess is the media deliberately ignores terrorism becaus

muslims or something. which of all his conspiracy theories this might be the nuttiest, or maybe eighth nuttiest, there are a lot to keep track of. the one thing that is clear is the president does not like the media, with one notable exception, a new network that bathes our president in the warm glow of admiration he deserves, and that network is called trump tv. >> this is trump tv. number one news that feels right. >> for top stories, america finally gets tough down under. what's really in those pouchs? mexicans? kangaroo? the gorsuch nomination ran and an exciting new way for white people to shake hands. first president trump's immigration vacation. most everyone loves the president's new executive order. in fact, out of 3,294 federal judges, only one totally blocked

in other news, press secretary sean spicer had something very sexy to report. >> i don't think the president owns a bathrobe. definitely doesn't wear one. >> mm, hello president daddy! and finally the winners win again in super bowl triumph for trump. >> putin's a killer. >> a lot of killers, we got a lot of killers, what you think our country's so innocent? >> it's kill or be killed. even crooked hillary agrees. >> i agree with you. >> thanks, evil e-mail lady. coming up next, why mexico loves trump more than ever. the women's march. was it just pms? and which religions are the worst? we'll rank them. next on trump tv. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, it's time for a game, a guessing game that puts my knowledge of myself to the test. it's time to play "blast from the past." here we go.

the wall of america. we are now joined by eight individuals, seven of these people are complete strangers to me. they're people i've never met. one of them, though, is a figure from my past. my job is to try to figure out which person i know. again, i have no idea who it is. my staff and family members have found this person to stump me. but i will not be stumped. i refuse to be stumped. let me just take a good look at everyone for a second, give me a second. i recognize all of your faces is the weird thing. okay, i'm going to start with -- number 7. number 7 -- am i not allowed to ask what their name is? yeah, number 7, are you the person from my past? >> hi, jimmy. no, we have never met. >> jimmy: all right, where do you live? >> alameda,

the bay area. >> jimmy: tell everyone i said hi, maybe we'll get together soon. >> come on up. >> jimmy: all right, let's go back to the ball and see -- okay, i got one wrong. let's go with number 4. number 4, you seem like maybe you're about my age. are you the person from my past? >> jimmy, we don't know each other, sorry. >> jimmy: oh my god, all right, okay. thank you very much. you are not from my past. next we will go to -- let's see. number 6. are you the person from my past? >> yes, jimmy, i am the person from your past. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes, all right, okay. oh, wow. all right, i see you have a sectional. i don't think that's a clue. but i can look around your living room. okay. were we friends? >> uh -- somewhat. >> jimmy: were we in class together? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. have you ever been to my house?

>> no, i have not. >> jimmy: huh. do you know my parents? >> no, i do not. >> jimmy: hm. did we ever work together? >> yes, we did. >> jimmy: oh! okay. was i in high school? >> yes, you were. >> jimmy: i was. cleto, you must know who this is, right? >> cleto: yes, i do. >> jimmy: did we work at a clothing store together? >> we sure did. >> jimmy: okay, miller's outpost, the fashion answer, where i worked in high school. we worked -- okay, we worked at miller's outpost together. were you my boss? >> yes, i was. >> jimmy: oh! [ laughter ] wow! okay. and i have a question. i think this is going to really -- the answer to this question is yes, i know exactly who you are. did i lose my virginity to you? >> no. >> jimmy: oh. oh, oh -- oh,

do were my -- oh, okay. did cleto once call you the beermeister and you got very, very angry at him at work? >> yes, i guess that's possible. >> jimmy: deb is your name. deb, you were my boss -- >> yes, deb is my name. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. so deb, you now know that i lost my virginity to one of the women that worked for you. >> i do, i tricked you. >> jimmy: yes. that's good information for everybody. how are you doing, deb? everything all right? >> yep, everything's good. i sent in -- >> jimmy: you have a picture or something? >> i have a picture, yes. >> jimmy: oh, very good. can you hold it up? >> i think that's you. >> jimmy: oh, that's me? that's the paparazzi chasing me around back then.

cash register. i don't think we ever sold any of those necklaces. are you still working in the retail industry? >> no, i am not. i'm retired. >> jimmy: you're retired. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why the hell am i not retired already? [ laughter ] you are, very good. do you miss me? >> i do have something of yours, jimmy. >> jimmy: what do you have? >> i have your e.t. vhs tape. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? for real? >> yes. >> jimmy: you borrowed it? >> yep. >> jimmy: do you have it -- >> i never gave it back to you. i think you quit or something. >> jimmy: oh, really? oh, okay. well, yes. i moved, actually. i didn't really quit. in fact -- yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you kept my "e.t." tape? >> i did. >> jimmy: so you're a thief also, how about that. >> also. a beermeister and a thief. >> jimmy: on a scale of 1 to 10, how good an employee was i? in your recollection. be honest, no joking around here. >> you were --

>> jimmy: an 8! that's pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, deb. thank you for taking part in this. that's deb, my former manager at miller's outpost. [ cheers and applause ] one of the nice things about doing a television show is occasionally you can do things that are only interesting to you. [ laughter ] let's never do that again, all right? all right. tonight on the show we have music from charlie xcx, gabrielle union is here, dweezil zappa is sitting in with the cletones and we'll be right be back with will arnett! i'll have that goat cheese garden salad.

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>> jimmy: that's dweezil zappa, sitting in with the cletones. his album is called "via zammata." and you can see dweezil live at the fonda theater here in la may 6th as part of the "50 years of frank" tour. when people come to the "50 years of frank" tour, does anyone mistakenly think it's sinatra? >> that rarely happens? it's not frank sinatra, frank zappa is the frank you're looking for. thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] tonight, from the show "being mary jane," gabrielle union is here. then, this is her latest single called, "after the afterparty," music from charli xcx. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we have a

show. sean hayes will join us and zach galifianakis will be here, we'll have music from norah jones. and thursday, kerry washington and alicia keys. back in the old days when canadians were welcome to enter this country, we received a gift for which we will always be grateful. he is an emmy-nominated actor who can be heard as tiny plastic billionaire bruce wayne in "the lego batman movie." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome will arnett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> sorry, you caught me in a moment. i was having a deep moment. >> jimmy: yeah, i saw that. i hate to interrupt like that. >> that's cool, i'm kind of crazy deep. >> jimmy: what were you thinking about? >> oh, just stuff and

to do? >> people talk about a thousand-yard stare. i think that's cool if you want to keep it shallow, i prefer a 10,000-yard stare. >> jimmy: you always go 10 times farther than necessary. >> than everybody else, yeah. that's how how much deeper that willian people. >> jimmy: anyone from your past you'd like me to conjure up for you? >> that was kind of cool that it was almost the person that you lost your virginity too. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it would be fun if. >> you conjured up the people i lost my virginity -- i don't know what that dude's up to, but -- [ laughter ] he's probably fine. >> jimmy: i'm sure. probably tells everybody. >> wonder if he's still a man of the cloth. anyway. [ audience moans ] >> oh, please. that's my past. >> jimmy: you've been -- where have you been the last couple of months? >> i just got back from wales, in

technically part of england, it's its own country, and it's delightful. it's like, how do you describe it, like the rain olympics. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. like the rain is coming up from the ground. >> jimmy: why did they choose wales as the place to shoot this movie? >> that's a great question, i should have asked. >> jimmy: did it sound like it was a good idea? >> it sounded so romantic. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> i thought it was going to be like a dylan thomas poem. . not one person. [ laughter ] one guy. sure. so i did that. it took me about three weeks to get back into the country. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had some trouble at the border? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: good, good. >> good? >> jimmy: who knows what you're up to. >> i know. >> jimmy: that 10,000-yard stare. >> i know. >> jimmy: you were also, this is interesting to me, you are the executive producer of

show," a new game show that's coming to abc. [ cheers and applause ] >> you remember "the gong show." >> jimmy: of course. >> for those who don't know what it is, back in the '70s and '80s, before i was born -- [ laughter ] because i'm so crazy young. i'm quoting you. >> jimmy: right, right, yeah. >> "the gong show" was kind of like a talent show for people who had a bizarre talent. and what they'd do is have a panel on, and they'd have a panel of comedians, really famous at the time comedians, people like steve martin were on the panel. sometimes if an act was so bad or grating, a member of the panel had the right to get up and grab this huge hammer and hit the gong. disqualify the person from the competition. >> jimmy: right. >> we decided in this age of competition, we have all these shows celebrating mediocre talent, that we should -- [ laughter ] that we should have a show that is

that. >> jimmy: a showcase for the mentally ill, if you will. >> let get down to what's really going on in this country, you know? let them have more of a voice. >> jimmy: yeah, wow, yeah. >> it's going to be really fun. >> jimmy: where are you going to get the people? how do you get people who might be gonged? we're going to go through a casting process. we actually -- we're going to have an open casting session this saturday. february 11th. >> jimmy: this is true? is this a joke? >> this is true. it's going to be gongshowcasting.com. >> jimmy: that's the website? that's quite a domain name. gongshowcasting.com. you realize most of the people you want for the show can't type that in. >> i know. we had to buy it from a dude in nebraska. >> jimmy: right. that must have cost you hundreds! >> yeah. >> jimmy: the squatters get ahold of that, forget about it. >> so go there, check out the in info, come aboard. we're going to have great panels of comedians.

casting sessions? >> i can't defoconfirm or deny . >> jimmy: i see, no. >> but maybe. [ laughter ] and my lawyer told me i can say this. i might shake your hand if you're there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's quite a treat. so good. going to be fun. >> you're doing it, you're going to be on the panel. >> jimmy: am i going to be a gongee? >> you can be a goner. >> jimmy: if i do it, and i would do it. i want to be the guy who like wrestles the gong. no! >> playing coy, doing that whole thing? >> jimmy: like dave kaplan would be and steve garvey would grab him, no, no, don't do the thing! nobody saw it? [ laughter ] >> right. that's another one -- in addition to 10,000-yard stare, i like playing coy too. >> jimmy: i watched this, "the lego batman movie." you are lego batman. [ cheers and applause ]

this is, and i'm not -- this is one of the greatest movies i've ever seen. >> wow. >> jimmy: this is a fantastic movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i am thinking about adopting a little boy just so i don't look weird going to the theater to see you again. i think adoptions may spike as a result of this. >> i'll rent you one of mine. >> jimmy: have your sons seen the movie? >> my sons have seen the film, i took them last week. they came to the premiere which was fun. >> jimmy: that's fun. >> they really got into it. my little guy got quite moved at the end. really sweet. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> it's quite moving at the end. i had to assure him that everything was going to work out. eventually i said, but maybe it won't. i wanted to letter the boy, you know? the boy needs to learn about life, he needs some learning. >> jimmy: the boys, are they impressed? >> not enough. >> jimmy: not enough, it's never enough. >> actually, what's funny, they're both in the movie. their voices are in the movie. >> jimmy: oh, that's fun. >> yeah. so one day we have to record on

they weren't in school, they came with me to record. we needed some voices for these or fans. and i said, you might be or fans one day. laugh laugh once the tears dried we got them in the booth. no, but they came, they recorded some stuff, it was pretty bad. >> jimmy: oh, wow, exciting. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's big for a kid. >> it was really big. actually, my son's school, my son is in class with one of his buddies, idina menzel's son. this is california. >> jimmy: from "frozen." >> beautiful voice, amazing, she's incredible. the next week after my son had been -- lent his voice to a batman movie he was showing off to his buddies at school. he's 6. and then he was showing off to adina's son. they were going, wow, oh my god, you're in lego batman. she turned to me and said, "thanks, frozen's not good enough now with my kids." >> jimmy: with boys batman

jimmy, this is real, so you have something to remember me by. >> jimmy: what is it? >> it's this. it's my business card. >> jimmy: oh, it is. oh, look at that, yeah. >> i don't know if you can see. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it looks just like you. >> bowls over just as easily as i do. >> jimmy: i have a challenge for you when we come back. it's not just -- this challenge is not just because you're lego batman but also, this is my challenge to you as a father. would you be willing to walk over a bed, not of coals, but of legos, in your bare feet? [ cheers and applause ] think about it, we'll be right back with will arnett! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by intuit turbotax with live, on-demand help when you need it. relax, there's turbotax.

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if you don't mind my saying, i'm a little concerned. do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? >> i don't talk about feelings, alfred, i don't have any, i've never seen one. i'm a nate-stalking, crime-fighting, vigilante and a heavy metal

i don't feel anything emotionally except for rage. 247, 365, at 1 million percent. if you think there's something behind that, then you're crazy. good night,al tread. >> sir, it's morning. >> aah! >> jimmy: that is will arnett? "the lego batman movie." it opens friday. it's excellent. who are some of the other -- you're obviously the star. so i don't want to take any of the spotlight away from you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: who are some of the other voices in the film? >> we have a great cast. michael cera plays robin. rosario dawson. ralph fiennes. everybody's great. we have zach galifianakis. [ cheers and applause ] it's a great -- we have zach galifianakis as the joker who's amazing. >> funny. >> he's really, really good. >> jimmy: are you ready? this is an experience i think every parent has had, stepping on a lego. [ cheers and applause ] it's like the number 11 cause of death around the world.

nightmare before by the way. >> jimmy: which side should we begin from? this side here? okay, if you would be so kind, take off your shoes. >> right. >> jimmy: you can't have shoes on or else there's no point. are your pants loose enough? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are you okay? >> these just wash right off, these pants. pants in a can. >> jimmy: you wear those thin dressy socks. >> yes, and i'm wearing lifts. everybody in hollywood's short. oh, man. >> jimmy: this is the part where you need me to hold you up. nice feet. >> here we go. >> jimmy: no, no -- [ cheers and applause ] hold on, ladies and gentlemen. this is real legos, a distance of 12 feet, maybe. maybe 10. mind over matter. [ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's almost there! he made it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. wow. there you go. will arnett, everybody. "the lego batman movie" opens friday. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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wait for it. [ cat screech ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ screaming ] [ laughter ] make everyday awesome with the power of xfinity x1... hi grandma! and the fastest internet. [ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: welcome back. gabrielle union and music from charlie xcx is on the way. but first, if you watched the commercials during the big game on sunday you are well aware that the folks at turbo tax have made it so easy to do your taxes you can now file them on your phone. you can also get help with tax questions by video-chatting with a live expert. it sounds like a fairy tale and in a way it is, but more importantly it's an opportunity to make our amigo guillermo, wear an egg.

>> guillermo: oh, no, those king's horses and king's men did a very bad job putting me back together again. >> hello, my name is marney. do you have a tax question i can help you with? >> guillermo: i just had a great fall, now my moustache is on my head. >> i'm so sorry about hear about your fall. were you on a wall? >> guillermo: yeah, i was on a wall. anyway. will i be able to write off my medical expenses on my taxes? >> in your case, yes, you will. >> guillermo: wow, thank you, marie, will you marry me so i can claim you as a dependant? only, i was just "yolking." >> dicky: intuit turbo tax has live, on-demand help when you need it. relax, there's turbo tax. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with gabrielle union!

kingsmaturbotax agent:try and hello mr. dumpty,ether. do you have a tax question? humpty dumpty: i've recently had some unforeseen medical expenses. turbotax agent: oh, i hope it's not too bad. humpty dumpty: uh... it's pretty bad. humpty dumpty: anyway, can i get a tax deduction for the hospital bills? turbotax agent: in your case, yes! humpty dumpty: ooh aren't you helpful. it's so difficult to find good help these days.

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>> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. zappa is with the band. over the course of her movie and tv career, our next guest has played a zoey, a nancy, a perri, a kitty, a kirsten twice and now, finally, a mary jane. she stars on "being mary jane" tuesday nights on b.e.t. please say hello to gabrielle union. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you, you look fantastic. >> nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> my mom called ahead, toed them to do it. >> jimmy: bordering on inappropriate by wait. we were talking about the patriots' victory parade. your husband's dwyane wade. [ cheers and applause ]

those parades? >> i went to one. it's weird. it's august award. they're like, yeah, the family gets up on the parade. what do we do? we weren't out this. i was just like, wave! they want to see lebron, they don't want to -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they were probably excited to see you. >> i mean, every so often. it's fun, it's fun. i was basically gronking it out up there, you know. >> jimmy: dwyane wade is now on the bulls in chicago. did you watch all his games? >> i lost my mind last night. >> jimmy: he scored 31 points last night. >> he got off last night, it was nice. >> jimmy: is his mood affected? >> last night it was. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i was thinking about this too. we had a player last night. dann

patriots. he was born a month after i graduated high school. >> that's called the whole bulls roster. for me. >> jimmy: right. dwyane is in his 14th season or something. his co-workers are -- >> 12, yes. >> jimmy: kids. >> they're like a couple years older than the kids we're raising at home. it's bizarre. d. had his 35th birthday party, everybody is like, you did this party for him. i had nothing to do with that party except writing the check. >> jimmy: who did it? >> his team, the people that work with him. they did amigos themed party. honey, if i planned that it would have been an earth, wind and fire, spinners, what and oats, "sarah smiles." there's a clear age difference. >> jimmy: what is a bad embouji party? >> my husband. he is bad and so bouji, god bless him. he had his own face on money made up for this party. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was his idea? wow.

wow. is that bad or bouji? >> both. >> jimmy: probably more bouji than bad. >> your face on money -- bad. it's more on the bouji side. >> jimmy: that's nice they like him so much, they planned the party for him. >> if it was up for me -- i was do you want to do something? he was like, no. so he wasn't going to get anything. >> jimmy: i see. >> because i go with what he says. use your words, baby. the last time i planned a party for him, he had made a passing mention that he loved john b., he loved singing. i had john b. come out and serenade him, which sounded better inside. [ laughter ] than the execution. >> jimmy: it's uncomfortable. yeah. when there's a man singing to you. [ laughter ] it's uncomfortable anyone singing to you, really. sair ma serenading -- it's a word that sounds better than in practice. have the teammates, the young guys on the team, like jimmy butl

is this something that will come up in the locker room? >> i hope not. or i hope so. >> jimmy: congratulations on best bust ever, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] is there a trophy? >> there's a plaque. no, it's funny. i had my own deflategate situation. because everyone's like, what happened to your ass? i was like, that is months of squats. >> jimmy: oh, i see, you were accused of -- >> letting the air out? i don't know. >> jimmy: that's the best. >> they were very disappointed it was so small and flat. >> jimmy: oh, i don't think anyone's disappointed. [ laughter ] you have stepsons too. >> i do. >> jimmy: did they see this? >> if they have, they haven't mentioned it, thank god. >> jimmy: yeah, right. you'd have mixed emotions about something like this. >> their friends might bring that

they are mortified with that kind of stuff. i just hear compliments. from a 14-year-old, it's mary kay letourneau in that kind of way. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter, you'll take it. >> the children give me compliments. >> jimmy: with the children are you strict with them? do you have to be -- >> we don't want to be. we are those parents that are like, listen to us, we're going to tell you how to beat the system. but they think it's reverse psychology. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> we tell you how to get away with stuff. my parents are just now finding out about stuff i did in '91. i'm like, help me help you. >> jimmy: what are the secrets? >> get your stories together. >> jimmy: that's number one. >> there's two of you, he doesn't move without you, you stick to it together till the day you die. if there is no video evidence, it didn't happen. it's fake news. [ laughter ] just ride it. work it out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is starting to sound familiar. your show "being mary jane," second season of that show? >> the fourth season. >> jimmy: the fourth season, wow. [ ch

explain the basic idea of the show. >> it's about mary jane paul, who is a journalist. you see her life at work, you see her love life, you see her life with her family, her friends. you basically get a 365-degree viewpoint of her life. >> jimmy: there's an extra 5 degrees in her life? >> yes. that's her on the toilet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the bonus? >> like a modern-day "mary tyler moore." i'm like, oh, yeah, if she's dropping a deuce and masturbating. >> jimmy: that would look great on a billboard. >> here's your extra 5%, de diddling yourself. >> jimmy: see it all on "being mary jane," tuesday nights at 10:00 on b.e.t. tell your husband i said hello. and we shall return with music from charli xcx. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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here with the song "after the after-party," charli xcx! ♪ ♪ after the after the party we're gonna keep it going we're gonna rip it up ♪ ♪ the neighbours might complain ♪ ♪ i think it's almost 4:00 am but baby i'm still feeling just fine ♪ ♪ ice all up in a plastic cup and i'ma keep on sipping all night yeah ♪ ♪ i might've kissed a thousand lips but maybe that's just all in my mind ♪ ♪ some people never understand the way we live but we're living life ♪ ♪ uh huh hey uh huh ♪ monday to sunday it's never too late so everyone say we don't wanna stop ♪ ♪ cause after the afterparty we're gonna keep it going we're gonna rip it up ♪ ♪ the neighbors might complain ♪

we're gonna stay til morning then when the time is up ♪ ♪ we'll do it all again yup yup yup ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we're all in love we're all in love ♪ ♪ i'm hanging on my best friend's couch and my clothes are all on the floor ♪ ♪ i got glitter in my underwear like it was studio 54 yeah ♪ ♪ i can't remember why i love it but i need it baby clap bring on the encore ♪ ♪ let's pour another drink the glasses go yeah we're always up for one more ♪ ♪ uh huh hey uh huh ♪ monday to sunday it's never too late so everyone say we don't wanna stop ♪ ♪ cause after the afterparty we're gonna keep it going we're gonna rip it up ♪

♪ the neighbors might complain ♪ ♪ cause after the afterparty we're gonna stay til morning then when the time is up we'll do it again ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we're all in love we're all in love ♪ ♪ monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay ♪ we're all in we're all in love yeah drop drop drop drop drop ♪ ♪ and we do it like ice cream for dinner bucket of liqueur we're getting sicker ♪ ♪ don't need ibiza we're all in we're all in love ♪ ♪ yeah drop drop drop drop drop ♪ ♪ and we do it like monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay cheers to the weekday ♪ ♪ we're all in we're all in love yeah ♪

♪ cause after the afterparty we're gonna keep it going we're gonna rip it up ♪ ♪ the neighbours might complain |m ♪ cause after the afterparty we're gonna stay til morning then when the time is up ♪ ♪ we'll do it all again yup yup yup ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we're all in love we're all in love ♪ ♪ monday to sunday doing it our way riri on replay cheers to the weekday ♪ ♪ we're all in we're all in love yeah ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, offroad accident. britney spears' 8-year-old kneels badly injured. her offroad vehicle plunging into a pond. the rescue operation that saved her life. and how can you keep your family safe? we're digging into the potential dangers of atv driving. sir kicks a lot? bleeped e-mails alleging soccer star's david beckham's obsessive crusade for knighthood, memos made public after a failed blackmail plot. now damage control as we learn the alleged reason he was never granted the royal honor. and rosie the mimicker. after melissa mccarthy's podium-pushing performance, does