tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 20, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
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♪ well, 420, there's a lot of the different theories, no one knows for sure. >> a lot of people say it's bob marley's birthday but the truth is -- >> i think it all has to do with marijuana. >> it's interesting. because when i think of 420, i think of hitler's birthday. >> the origin of 420 was the time of day when everybody was done working and it was time to kick back and smoke a fat. >> what time are you done working? >> i don't work, i skate. >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- earvin "magic" johnson, gabourey sidibe, "this week
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and music from dua lipa. and now, nobody move, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. well, that's very kind. and today, in case you either don't know or are too high to remember is 4/20. i don't know if this is a thing in the whole country but it's a big deal around these parts. the whole state smells like it ran over a skunk the size of godzilla. people really get into the spirit here. here's the thing. the truth is if you're celebrating 420 today chances are you were celebrating it yesterday. and the day before that too. [ laughter ] between easter and 420, this has been a huge week for eating candy and rolling stuff. [ laughter ] i w
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i know who might an stoner? santa claus. he's always laughing. he's got that beard. flies around on a sleigh pulled by reindeer, something only a very high person would think of. he sneaks into people's houses through a chimney for cookies. [ laughter ] all the signs are there. marijuana is legal here in california. by state law. but it's still technically illegal, according to federal law. so the lapd, the police, can't arrest you for having pot but an fbi agent can arrest you. it's confusing, right? now imagine trying to understand that while you're high. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] even our local news reporters were celebrating today. this is from our local fox affiliate here in l.a. they put a reporter out on the street in front of a marijuana dispensary to wax somewhat poetically about this special day. >> happy 4/20. there's a lot to celebrate.
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do you remember back in the day, kids today, they know pot smoking through legal cannabis shops all over town. but back in the day when we were kids, there wasn't anything like that. that was a dark time. you had to rely on your neighborhood dealer, who did he did show up wouldn't leave. >> jimmy: what the hell is going on? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] she knows she's on television? i think lauren might be working through some personal issues here. [ laughter ] the award for most outstanding news report of 4/20 goes to our friends at abc 10 news in san diego. they're having an anti-drug party in the san diego area today. pay attention because you just might learn something here. >> the 4/20 remix party. it's at boomers in vista to teach kids even though marijuana's legal now it still has risks. the goal of the event is to get to kids early. studies show only 10% of seventh graders use drugs or a
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time they're in high school. >> jimmy: what the hell is going on? that's right. stay away from air hockey, it's no good! [ laughter ] it's a gateway to foos ball! [ applause ] in other smoking-related news the mayor of new york yesterday proposed a new bill that would raise the price of cigarettes to what would be the highest in the country. if the bill passes a pack of cigarettes would cost $13 in new york. the only place where cigarettes would cost more is prison. [ laughter ] and mayor de blasio says that when it comes to the health of new yorkers, big tobacco is enemy number one. ebbmy number two is pizza. so i don't know. i don't smoke cigarettes but i really don't think cigarettes are the problem. the problem is lighters. [ laughter ] without those, one pack of cigarettes would literally last you forever. "time" magazine today released their annual list of the 100
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world. making the list this year, vladimir putin, kim jong-un, pope francis, james comey, and of course donald trump. hillary clinton did not make the list. which is really crazy. hillary clinton influenced a whole half of a country to vote for donald trump for president. [ laughter ] you'd think that would be worth something. paul ryan, speaker of the house, wrote the profile of donald trump. that's what they do, have famous people write the profile of other famous people. he said trump always finds a way to get it done. he does? [ laughter ] other than his hair, what did he get done? can't even get his wife to move in with him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i was surprised, i went -- i waz surprised pokebowls didn't make a list, they had a very big year. that is just a thing here? is that not everywhere? okay. the white house announced this week that they're not going to release their visitor logs. that's the list of people who come to see the president.
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social media. last night president trump had a very important meeting in the oval office with ted nugent and kid rock. how the hell did they get into the white house? kid rock is not even allowed in a waffle house. [ laughter ] [ applause ] they came with their significant others and they came also with sarah palin. what a group that is. trump, palin, nugent -- not exactly the four horse men of the apocalypse we would expeereg [ laughter ] president trump held a joint press conference with the prime minister of italy where he took the opportunity as he sometimes does to brag about his friendship with a she prominent italian celebrity. >> from venice to florence, from verdi to pavarotti, friend of mine. great friend of mine. >> jimmy: well. now that's an interesting statement to make. because luciano pavarotti has been dead since 2007.
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he's been dead for 10 years. so it kind of makes you wonder about how deep their friendship is. [ laughter ] he said that -- ♪ ♪ hello jimmy ♪ it is luciano pov to thety, i heard you mention my name. >> jimmy: i did mention your name, it's an honor to meet you. >> yes, i know. >> jimmy: maybe you can clear something up. were you and donald trump great friends? ♪ no >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ he's a how do you say he is full of the [ bleep ] ♪ >> jimmy: right, that's whey thought. well, thank you. the ghost of pavarottpavarotti, everyone. >> fine, jimmy, i will see you in 8,423 days. >> jimmy: what did you say? >> ha ha, yes. you will be dead. >> jimmy: i'll bde
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we did that just to freak out the stoners at home. [ laughter ] we have a fun show tonight. magic johnson is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] one of my favorites, one of everyone's favorites. interesting fact, he got the nickname magic because when he was in high school, every time he made a shot he would yell ta-da! that's true. magic has been keeping busy. he's new president of basketball prayings for the lakers. he's part owner of the dodgers. he used to own i think more than 100 starbucks stores. i believe he sold them. but i wonder what he thinks about this. starbucks yesterday unveiled their latest abomination. this is the unicorn frappuccino. it's the first frappuccino that looks like a windbreaker from the '80s. [ laughter ] it's got pink powder, mango syrup, sour blue drizzle, and all sorts of other stuff. it's got everything but coffee in it. and when you stir it up,he
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flavor changes. who says america doesn't invent anything anymore? [ laughter ] it's only available through april 23rd. or until someone dies from drinking it, whichever comes first. and if the unicorn frappuccino doesn't strike your fancy, and you would think it would, starbucks has another new item designed specifically to suit our troubled time. >> here at starbucks your enjoyment is our goal. the world is complicated. and we know that now more than ever it takes more to make you smile. that's why starbucks is proud to introduce our newest flavored coffee drink. the [ bleep ]-it-cchino. chocolate frosting, french fries, vodka, and lexapro. everything you need to forget about life. for six minutes. the [ bleep ]-it-ccino. [ bleep ] it, we're screwed. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as if that wasn't enough insanity for you.
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it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not, it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> today, while bill o'reilly was enjoying an audience with the pope, fox [ bleep ]ed the man with the biggest [ bleep ] in cable television. >> she wanted her [ bleep ] to be simply the best. >> thank you very much, i'm coming down, i'm going to be [ bleep ]ing you. thank you very much, my whole family's here. >> the president recently signed the [ bleep ] women act. which ensures that nasa continues to [ bleep ] women. >> you've got to re-evaluate your life when you're [ bleep ], [ bleep ] your office and you just turned 50. >> rumor has it i will be [ bleep ]ing a camel shortly, you don't want to miss that. >> i have a big [ bleep ] in my house. >> thanks for the rhyme. how long is your [ bleep ]? >> as soon as i went in the dog charged at me. and he [ bleep ]ed me in the [ bleep ]. i couldn't believe it. >> that's enormous!
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>> i think i just [ bleep ]ed my pants. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back in honor of 4/20 we're going to ask people on the street here in l.a. a simple question, that question is, are you high? so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's a very simple procedure, mr. diaz. we're just going to make one small incision here, then we're gonna go in and remove your '67 corvette. my vette!? it's just a gall bladder! you don't have.. aflac! paying you cash, so you might have to sell that sweet little muscle machine just to cover your rent. more funny juice. but my papa gave me...that...car. what do you wish you had? aflac. ohh, i love doing that. health can change, but the life you love doesn't have to. keep your lifestyle healthy with- aflac!
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yahoo! says the majority of americans over the age of 18, 52% of americans, have used or use marijuana. which seems actually low. of course the majority of americans use marijuana, how else do you explain taco bell's entire menu? [ laughter ] they're building businesses on this fact. recreational marijuana is legal here in los angeles. and the state of california. so we thought this might be good fun for our pedestrian question today. we went to venice beach which is a pot hotspot and asked people, are you high right now? okay, here's how this is going to go. we'll see someone introduce themselves, based solely on the person's appearance and the introduction we will try to guess if that person is high. okay? let's play. >> what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is nola from denmark. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: okay. is nola from denmark with the flowers in her hair high right now? everyone says yes. >> no.
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>> jimmy: well, someone should tell your outfit. looks like coachella came to life. althou >> i'm nathan, i'm now from venice. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: okay, this is a tough one. don't jump to conclusions. is nathan high right now? >> i'm at home. yeah. >> jimmy: the man is literally made out of marijuana. you could probably shake an ounce out of his beard. who do we have next? >> what is your name and where are you from? >> jacob argcman from pasadena, california. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: this is a tough one. is jacob high right now? mostly noes. let's find out. >> no, i wish. >> why not? >> my girlfriend's around somewhere. can't really do that around her. >> your mom or your girlfriend? >> my girlfriend. [
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>> jimmy: sounds like a fun relationship. she does let him wear a tank top so that's good. who is our next pot or noter? >> what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is donnie mozzarella from uptown new york city. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: johnny mozzarella? i think his parents were high when he was born. that is quite -- is donnie mozzarella high? >> do you envy? >> sometimes. >> i'm not high right now, i'm sipping confidence juice. a little bit of tequila and lemonade. >> jimmy: all right. you know what we apologize. he's not high, he's drunk. he's old school is what he is. sorry for the mix-up. let's see another. >> what is your name and where are you from? >> my jim is ken jatell from brooklyn new york and miami also. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: all right. you got to wait till i ask.
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is king jatet high right now? all right, let's find out. >> yeah, always. that's the holy sacrament. i feel like i was bob marley in my past life. >> who are you in this life? >> king jatet. >> jimmy: yeah, even better than bob marley, king jatet. i'd like to see king jatet and donnie mozzarella do a reality show together or something. i believe we have one more. >> what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is nick and i'm from louisville, texas. >> are you high right now? >> jimmy: all right. well, yeah, the obvious answer is yes. well, let's find out. is nick high right now? >> yes. >> how high? >> really high. [ laughter ] >> why are you so high? >> oh. um -- [ laughter ] i smoke weed.
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>> jimmy: that actually was a dumb question. sorry, nick. all right, tonight on the show we have music from dua lipa. gabourey sidibe is here. and we'll be right back with magic johnson. >> portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by chegg, a smarter way to student. tired of paying hundreds more a year in taxes and fees on your wireless bill? only t-mobile one gives you unlimited data with taxes and fees included. that'll save you hundreds. get two lines of unlimited data for a hundred dollars. that's right. two lines. a hundred bucks. all in. and now, the brand new samsung galaxy s8 is here. so what are you waiting for? get the new galaxy s8. plus get 2 lines of unlimted data for a hundred bucks. taxes and fees included. only at t-mobile.
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. tonight, she's a very talented actress and an author too. this is her forthcoming memoir, it's called "this is just my face: try not to stare." gabourey sidibe is here. [ cheers and applause ] very funny. then, her self-titled album comes out june 2nd, dua lipa from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] i feel like if i was a woman this is what i would look like. you know? [ laughter ] there's not a doubt in my mind that our first guest can turn the lakers around but only if how soon willing to put the tiny purple shorts back on. he is the new president of the lakers and part-owner of the dodgers, too. please welcome #32, earvin magic johnson.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look great. >> thank you, thank you. thank you, sir. that magic man, i like that. >> jimmy: that's right. >> you know i know that song. >> jimmy: you think maybe the tiny shorts were the secret? maybe that's what has happened to the lakers? >> of course, of course. now the shorts are too long, all the way to the knee. we had hot pants on, they was hot. >> jimmy: you did. could you as president of basketball operations force the team to wear little tiny shorts this season? >> if that's going to help us win, it will happen. >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers and applause ] first of all, congratulations on the new job. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: not that you needed another job. you now have another
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>> exactly. >> jimmy: president of basketball operations, is that ahead of the general manager, is it equal, a totally different thing? how does it work? >> jimmy, it's a little bit above. >> jimmy: a little bit above general manager. >> exactly. rob plinko is our general manager. he's doing a fantastic job. >> jimmy: if he doesn't you fire him. >> fire him, luke walton, everybody got to go. [ laughter ] but no, we're happy. >> jimmy: when you have to fire somebody, does it eat you up inside? is it something that you think about for days leading up to it? >> no. >> jimmy: it doesn't? not at all? >> fired, get out, that's it. no, i think that you have to make decisions. it's tough. and i'm a guy who is a -- just like i play basketball as a point guard, i do the same thing leading my company. i like to work around great people, empowering those people. but look, i'm a worker so i want to work with people who are workers too. who
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myself. but you've got a job to do. if you don't do that job, then you've got to go. it's really that simple. it's up to you. if you do your job, you work well with me. >> jimmy: the owner of the team, jeanie buss, who hired you for this job, she fired her brother to bring you in. which is -- she's a cold-blooded killer. [ laughter ] that's pretty -- >> sometimes you got to fire family members. >> jimmy: yeah. sometimes you do. >> you have to remember this the lakers mean a lot -- they're the most powerful team in the nba. we have more fans around the world than any other team. we're tied with the celtics for the most championships. and that platform for any player is amazing and big platform. we're going to be successful again, we're going to win again -- >> jimmy: you will make the lakers great again. >> thank you, i'm going to do that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but there's only so
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as president of basketball operations. >> of course. >> jimmy: you can't go out there and play. i'm sure you will feel like that at some point, you'll want to do that. who are you looking for? paul george? is it chris paul you're looking at? maybe teen wolf? you remember him? [ laughter ] he was really good. >> i wish i could talk about all those guys. >> jimmy: you'd be contract tampering now. >> exactly, exactly. >> jimmy: when you started this job did they sit you down, okay, here are some things you have to know, you can't do an interview and say you want this specific player. >> that's right. >> jimmy: did you have to learn a lot? >> had to go to school, had to go to cba school, salary cap school, and tampering school. for real. yeah, you can't tamper with somebody else's player. you can't -- i had to learn the new cba that we have. >> jimmy: what constitutes tampering? like if you're on vacation and you run into paul george, are you not allowed to speak to him? >> no, we going to say hi because we know each other. you just can't say, i want you to come to the lakers. even though i'm going to be winking. you know what that means, right? [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when you got this job who called you? did you get a lot of people calling you? >> president clinton? oh, wow. >> pat riley. i mean, denzel. everybody. >> jimmy: which denzel? >> denzel washington. [ laughter ] that was good. you are so good! [ laughter ] everybody called. i mean, they are so excited. and also coaches and general managers of other teams called. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> phil jackson. it was amazing the response. >> jimmy: did you speak to larry bird? >> larry bird. >> jimmy: ah, now you guys are rivals once again. >> that's right, that's right. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be the greatest to go against him in the nba finals? >> i want to beat and kill larry every time i see him. [ laughter ] that won't stop for me. you know, if he put on them green little tight shorts they used to wear, i'd
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him and beat him then too. we always are going to be competitive against one another. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he wants to win the championship with his pacers, i want to do the same thing. >> jimmy: west with that said would you give him advice if you asked him for advice? >> of course, of course, of course. larry is good. but he won't give me too much. you know, he want to keep me down, so to speak. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> he'll give me just enough so i won't beat his pacers. probably or his celtics. but danny ainge and larry bird, i had so many former players, as well as all the players -- kobe bryant was a great conversation with him. so i'm just happy and blessed. >> jimmy: have any former teammates called and said, i need a job, i want a job, will you hire me? >> jimmy, let me tell you. not just my former teammates. everybody around the league. >> jimmy: oh, really, yeah. that's got to be a tough situation. >> former players -- it is tough. because you want to build your staff the right way. and so rob and i sit down, you know. we'll look at -- >> jimmy: you blame it on rob? >>
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>> jimmy: right. >> i can't hire you because rob won't allow me. [ laughter ] i told him when he first got the job, you're going to be the -- i'm always going to be smiling. you'll be the bad guy. >> jimmy: poor rob, he can't win. exactly. >> jimmy: so the lakers, at the end of the season, a crazy thing happened. all of a sudden they start winning all these games. which hurt their chances of getting the number one pick. were you watching this and going, hey, guys, slow down, relax here, this is not what we want? >> i was saying, oh, it's good. but damn, we're winning. no, i wanted us to taste winning. we've been losing for four years. >> jimmy: right. >> and i wanted the guys to experience what it felt like to win. because if you never get that feeling, jim -- sorry, jimmy -- you never know how it feels. >> i know. i know that very well. [ laughter ] >> we're going to
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into next season. >> jimmy: i see, okay, all right. >> so it's really important for our young -- we got a young team. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so they were feeling really good about winning. and we were happy that they were feeling good about winning. now we got to work hard in the summer, get our body fat down, get in the best shape, and come back and really win hopefully more consistent during the season. >> jimmy: will you also get your body fat down for the team? >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: you will? >> oh yeah. i can't tell them to be in shape and i don't be in shape myself. >> jimmy: that's right. >> i'm doing pretty good. >> jimmy: you are, you're very good. very handsome. [ cheers and applause ] all right, magic johnson. we'll be right back with magic after this!
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sometimes it's hard to say no. some of my friends use drugs and i don't know what to do. >> i know, growing up is hard. but you need to be strong. you need to stand up to the pressure. if someone offers you drugs, tell them you're not interested. walk away. or just say no. >> well, i'm not going to use drugs. i want to be a winner just like you. >> yeah! >> yeah! >> me too! >> exactly. >> you can all be winners, on and off the court. it takes a lot of hard work and
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you owe it to yourselves to be your best. so play start. don't ball out with drugs. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you remember shooting that? >> oh my goodness, yes. that brought back -- i could really get into shorts then. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i couldn't get in them thousand. >> jimmy: it seemed appropriate to show that today on 4/20, probably a big holiday for the team. >> yeah. [ laughter ] you're on point tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you, magic john n johnson, ever smoke pot during your playing years? >> no, i've never even tried pot? i believe that when you say it. a lot of people you think, they're just being whatever. but i believe that you never have. >> i don't drink, anything. >> jimmy: do you want to smoke some right now? [ laughter ] >> no, no.
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players don't do it, now you're telling me we should try it? >> jimmy: did you know there's a strain of marijuana called magic jordan, named after you and your friend michael? it's true. >> i hope it's good, then. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there it is right there. >> wow. >> jimmy: i assume it's the best, you know? >> wow. >> jimmy: congratulations, that's got to be quite an honor. >> thanks a lot. >> jimmy: one thing i'm worried about as far as you're concerned is you. >> you're an owner in the dodgers, you have this job with the lakers which is all-consuming i'd imagine. >> it is. >> jimmy: i'm worried you're not going to have time to go on these -- i like to on twitter follow you and see the spectacular vacations you and sam jackson take. you guys seem to be always eating ice cream in europe. that seems to be the -- >> gelato. i love it, man. >> jimmy: will you still go on these vacations with sam? >> yeah we had to move it to august because we have summer le
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so i'll be in las vegas with the team. >> jimmy: sam will shift his schedule to accommodate you? >> yes, let's hope so anyway. i think he will because i pay. >> jimmy: oh, you pay for it. [ laughter ] that's very considerate of him. >> you can come along too. >> jimmy: i would love to. last time he was here i said i'd love to come on this vacation with you. he didn't seem as excited about it. [ laughter ] i think maybe now i realize he's worried i will replace him. >> that's right. >> jimmy: because you won't have -- i will work around your schedule entirely, believe me. >> well, you come on, you can replace him. >> jimmy: what's it like to go on vacation with sam jackson? what's he like on a trip? >> he is the best. because first, he loves sports. so we talk a lot about sports. and then sam is funny. so we'll come up and somebody will see us, right? and so they look up. at me. they look up. they can't believe it.
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he's all, do you want a picture or what? [ laughter ] but it's his voice, you know. only sam can do it. we just bust out laughing. he keeps me in stitches because he is so funny, but also smart at the same time. >> jimmy: he as lot of fun. >> our wives are really close, cookie and la tanya, so it's a great trip. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. congratulation on this the new gig. magic johnson, everybody. be right back with gabourey sidibe! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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so this year, they're getting a whole lot more. box 365, the calendar. everyone knows my paperless, safe driver, and multi-car discounts, but they're about to see a whole new side of me. heck, i can get you over $600 in savings. chop, chop. do i look like i've been hurt before? because i've been hurt before. um, actually your session is up. hang on. i call this next one "junior year abroad." could bounce back like it used to? neutrogena® hydro boost water gel. instantly quenches skin to keep it supple and hydrated day after day. with hydrating hyaluronic acid,
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>> jimmy: very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: it's a big deal to write a book about your life, isn't it? it's a big job. >> it took three whole years. i had to learn how to read first. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did it actually take three years? >> it took three years because i wrote every word by myself. i'm going to be real cocky about that because i'm so smug. i wrote every word. >> jimmy: i think that's impressive because a lot of people don't. a lot of people will sit down for a few hours and tell stories and do it a couple of other times and somebody else does all the work. you did all the work yourself. >> no shade to those people, but yeah, i got busy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you typed it all out and everything? >> yeah i wrote on a laptop that has been on its last leg for five years. but i didn't want to throw it away and get a new laptop because god forbid i lose the story, i would just be dead. >> jimmy: you know, you can e-mail that stuff, i'll
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through the whole thing. what this is e-mail thing? >> jimmy: i'll explain it, i'll be your i.t. guy after the show. do you have a schedule every day you would set aside a few hours to work? >> oh, yeah, um -- yeah, i honestly have to. for every deadline i say, i'll have this done by friday. but i mean like three mondays from that friday? who are the deadlines with? >> with my editor. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> but she understood. like she understood that i was lying. [ laughter ] for every chapter, i need to like [ bleep ] around on the internet for two weeks. i need to take 47 naps. not 46. the 47 is very important. >> jimmy: how long are the naps? >> they vary from like five hours to five days, whatever. [ laughter ] on 4/20, it's like a long time. >> jimmy: what was the hardest thing? did you write anything that was difficult for you to put down? >> yeah, i mean, a lot of it was -- i write about myself and about my childhood and about my
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>> jimmy: have they read -- have your parents read the book? >> no. i don't -- okay, so i just sent a book to my mom. i haven't sent the book to my dad yet. but i wrote one chapter about what i used to do before i was an actress. or a screen actress. >> jimmy: i know a little bit about this. >> specifically -- yeah. but so like -- that story about me being a phone sex operator as excerpted for a magazine. and my dad is on facebook now so he shared it. the story. without comment. he didn't say anything. we never talked about me being a phone sex operator. so still ahead of me at almost 34 years old is a conversation how i used to do phone sex with my dad. >> jimmy: not phone sex with your dad? [ laughter ] >> no, no! whoo whether or not. no, no. >> jimmy: you'd have to charge a fortune for that. >> not that i know of. >> jimmy: what's that like, how long were you a phone sex operator? >> i --
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so i became a phone sex operator when i was 21. that's when you're young and able to do dumb stuff, right? you're 21. you get away with it. i did it for two months. then i got promoted because there are other jobs to have at a phone sex operation. isn't that crazy? >> jimmy: you were promoted? >> no. actually, receptionist. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> which is just as dumb as hooker. i became the receptionist of the company. then i became an operator. not uh, uh! not that one, the one that takes the credit card operator. that was me, monitoring [ bleep ] over the phone. [ laughter ] that was me. that was me. >> jimmy: then like you're not doing it right? >> i'm just like, hey! hey! you got to pay attention to the shaft! hey, hey! be nice! >> jimmy: so dad shared this story on facebook, okay.
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that's the scary part. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the fact that he -- i like -- did you read it? >> jimmy: what's he going to say, really. what can he say? i did it, i can't undo it. >> jimmy: it is kind of a nice thing for him to do, trying to get people to buy your -- >> he's so supportive. >> jimmy: is he really? [ laughter ] . >> jimmy: oh, no. >> so stupid my laugh, sorry. >> jimmy: so he will get the book eventually? >> yeah, probably. he'd better. >> jimmy: i see, okay. you're not close with your dad right now? >> we're fine now. when i first started writing the book, though, we weren't at all. i wasn't talking to him. but, you know, kind of writing about him, allowed me to see him like as a human. and there's like this -- speaking of my dad and also my laughs, my dad hated my laugh forever. >> jimmy: oh, no, that's terrible. really? >> i mean, like can you imagine, a 3-year-old snorting every four
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it worked on the phone, okay? honestly, really quickly, really quickly, every dude that called me loved my phone -- loved my noise. my laugh. i made so much money. ha ha ha! they loved it. my dad like hated it when i was a kid and i laughed so much. he used to say to me, this is horrible, my dad's like a nice guy now. he would tell me that if i kept laughing, that he would -- that he would glue my mouth shut, glue my ass shut, and when i farted i would explode. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? wow. >> which is like hilarious. my dad's like very african, my dad's senegalese, went to school in france. he's like his whole personality is being a cab driver and watching french news. that's his entire personality. >> jimmy: is he a character in
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cab? >> no -- i've been in my dad's cab, not by accident. like he seems -- he's just like a dad. but he's like unintentionally funny. like you'll explode if you fart? my dad's a comic genius. [ laughter ] he still makes me giggle. >> jimmy: well, and that story unless the book. >> it's in there. >> jimmy: well, i tell you, i can't wait to read this. this is gabby sidibe's book. "this is just my face try not to stare" comes out may 1st. preorder it now. began bor ray sidibe, everybody! be right back with dua lipa! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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♪ ♪ i see the moon i see the moon i see the moon oh when you're looking ♪ ♪ at the sun you're not a fool not a fool not a fool no you're not ♪ ♪ fooling anyone oh but when you're gone when you're gone when you're gone ♪ ♪ oh baby all the lights go out thinking now that maybe i was wrong ♪ ♪ i was wrong i was wrong come back to me baby we can work this out
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♪ let me get to know you just another chance so that i can show that i won't let you ♪ ♪ down and run no i won't let you down and run 'cos i could be the one ♪ ♪ i could be the one i could be the one i could be the one i see in blue ♪ i see in blue i see in blue oh when you see everything in red ♪ ♪ there is nothing that i wouldn't do for you do for you do for you oh 'cos you got inside ♪ ♪ my head oh but when you're gone when you're gone when you're gone ♪
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all the lights go out thinking now that maybe i was wrong ♪ ♪ i was wrong i was wrong come back to me baby we can work this out ♪ ♪ oh baby come on let me get to know you just another chance so that i can show ♪ ♪ that i won't let you down and run no i won't let you down and run ♪ ♪ cos i could be the one i could be the one i could be the one be the one ♪ ♪ be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one i could be the one ♪ ♪ be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one ♪ ♪ i could be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one be the one ♪
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♪ oh baby come on let me get to know you just another chance so that i can show ♪ ♪ that i won't let you down and run no i won't let you down and run cos i could be the one ♪ ♪ i could be the one oh baby come on let me get to know you just another chance ♪ ♪ so that i can show that i won't let you down and run no i won't let you ♪ ♪ down and run cos i could be the one i could be the one i could be the one ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the 50-year-old tennessee teacher and the 15-year-old student he's accused of abducting. finally found at a remote california cabin. the nightmare over for her grateful family. >> their daughter, their sister, is on her way home. >> but what happened in their over one month on the run? >> she's a young girl that's with a grown man. he needs to be held accountable. plus, she's been called france's trump. >> she's saying, make france great again. >> all eyes on marine le pen, the far-right nationalist presidential candidate fuelled by anti-immigration rhetoric and fear of terror attacks like the one today on the iconic champs elysees.
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