this is "nightline." >> tonight, option "b." she's famous for leaning in. now facebook sheryl sandberg is redefining what it all means. sharing the pain of her husband's sudden death. >> sitting down with my 7-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son and telling them, you're never going to see your father again. the tech titan starting a new conversation about loss, living a life of resilience, and even daring to find joy. >> we judge people who date, particularly women, after their spouse has died. plus, he's the hip-hop jock of shock. he calls himself charlemagne the god. but it's what he's calling everyone else that's getting him attention. from kanye -- >> kanye kardashian in the building. >> to drake. >> you look like a thumb with

black privilege that's causing real waves. and -- ♪ handyman makes everything he bakes ♪ >> get your golden ticket, willy won wonka's world of pure imagination on broadway, behind the scenes at "charlie and the chocolate factory." cue the oompa loompas. first the "nightline 5." let life in. with new herbal essences. bursting with argan oil of morocco. and notes of jasmine. to put more life in your head. and now with the power of bio renew. to put more life in your hair. try new herbal essences. and let life in. >> number one in just 60 seconds.

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good evening. tonight she's one of the most influential women on the planet. facebook c.o.o. sheryl sandberg was on top of the world when she suffered a crippling blow with the shocking death of her husband. but through her grief she had an empowering revelation -- resilience is not something you're born with. she says it can be taught. now she wants to share her wisdom born of pain. >> i mean, this is the unimaginable. i walked in -- of course my fear was that he had died, but i hoped he hadn't. >> reporter: a horrifying discovery. the moment sheryl sandberg found her husband, david gold bear in a pool of blood while on vacation in mexico. >> at first we thought dave had died by falling off an exercise machine. my brother's a

kept telling me, that is not true, that is not what happened, something happened to make him fall. >> reporter: he's suffered a cardiac arrythmia and the facebook c.o.o., the women who seemed so sure of herself, felt utterly lost. suddenly a widow, she had to fly home to break the tragic news to her children. >> sitting down with my 7-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son and telling them, you're never going to see your father again -- is something i could not even imagine. from the very beginning i tried to tell my kids to respect their feelings. it's okay if you cry. it's okay did you feel sad or jealous of other children who have fathers. it's also okay to laugh and be happy because daddy would want that for you. >> reporter: their daddy was the widely beloved ceo of survey monkey. 47-year-old goldberg and she were silicon valley's ultimate power couple. >> dave was my rock. he always was the one to tell me everything would be okay. he was brilliant, so generous. i meet people i don't know, they'll say, dave changed my

necklace, a very special piece of jewelry. >> this is dave's ring. i started wearing it from the beginning. to me it's a symbol of dave and his impact on my life. al alsopy friends who stepped in to help take care of me. >> reporter: one of those friends, facebook founder mark zuckerberg. >> mark was one of the first people i called from the hospital when i knew dave had died. he was at my house with his wife priscilla the next day. they've showed up for me and my children, took outside vacation, come over to play games. they're still doing it. >> reporter: the author of "lean in" found herself having to lean on others. she felt emotionally ostracized by her grief. >> i felt no one was talking to me. i'd drop off kids at school and the friendly his, people were so scared to say the wrong thing, they said nothing at all. >> reporter: it became the elephant in the room. she decided to share her anguish as millions of users do, on facebook. "i've gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony i feel when my children scream and

from the connection my mother has to my pain." the heartbreaking post has garnered nearly 1 million likes and more than 74,000 comments. what was the reaction? >> it really helped. it like broke open the flood gate. people didn't only show support for me, they showed support for other people. after that post people started talking to me. >> reporter: that was just the beginning as if the tech executive set tout to hack the grieving process, summarized in one piece of advice. >> a few weeks after dave died, i was talking to my friend phil about a father/son activity. i said to phil, i want dave to do this with our children. and phil said, well -- option "a" is not available so let's kick it, "option b." >> reporter: "option b." facing adversity, brilliance, and finding joy. it's not just a book. it's a growing online community support group. >> you realize there are all these people who are suffering

i think the post gave people an outlet to connect and build community. >> reporter: adam grant is known as the most popular psychology professor at wharton. his specialty, resilience. why was adam the perfect coauthor of this book? >> well, i didn't turn to adam to an coauthor, i turned to adam as a friend. >> reporter: sandberg says when she returned to facebook her legendary confidence was sapped. you're one of the most powerful women in the world, the epitome of confidence. >> it never occurred to me that losing dave would trash my self-confidence in other areas. i was going to work, i could barely get through a meeting without crying, how could i do my job? >> it's called secondary loss. they can't focus. they are feeling uncontrollable emotions. they feel like other people are seeing them as fragile. and that leads to a lot of self-doubt. >> reporter: option b, a handbook for overcoming trauma, looking for pinpoints of light in the darkness. >> adam suggested that i write down three moments of joy in a

to bed. my coffee tasted great this morning. my daughter gave me a hug. spontaneously, without being asked. my son told a funny story. even if those are tiny little moments, even if they're tiny moments of joy in the midst of great grief, you have them. >> as a psychologist, what do you know about the need to sort of express oneself? >> there have been hundreds of experiments showing if you journal about a traumatic event, even just for 15 minutes, not only does your mental health improve, also your physical health improves. >> reporter: amidst what feels like unending despair the key is to stop blaming yourself and learn to live life with gratitude. >> i'm grateful. i do not believe that i ever was grateful for life. i never thought dave wouldn't grow old. now i am grateful for every day. >> reporter: her newfound perspective even making her rethink some of her advice in "lean in." reframing her views on single motherhood. addressing the criticism of privilege. >> we need to do better for single mothers. 37% of single mothers

country are living in poverty. 40% if you're black or hispanic. and that's unacceptable. that means that we're not preventing adversity and it means we're not helping people through hardship. and we absolutely need to do better. >> reporter: facebook has since improved its already-generous leave policies, doubling the number of bereavement days. while she's received a course of praise for sharing her pain so publicly, there are inevitably a few detractors. how do you shut down the naysay hoarse might say, oh, isn't it too soon to write a book? >> everyone grieves in their own way. in their own time. and -- i want something good to come out of this tragedy. >> reporter: she has found moments of joy, even has a boyfriend. in fact, it was her mother-in-law who gave her blessing. >> dave's mother did the most profound thing as you were clearing out his closet. >> she did. she said, in one day you will remarry. something i hadn't even thought about, dating, at all. >> you talk about it in the book. this double standard. at

starts to date, there's a lot of judgment and eyebrows raised. >> we judge people who date, particularly women, after their spouse has died. and i found dave and i wanted to spend my life with dave. and i thought i would. but i don't have that choice. and so when we judge people who lost their spouses for trying to find happiness any way they do, including dating, we really hurt their recovery. and i'm hoping "option b" gives people the permission they deserve to rediscover joy. >> reporter: and rediscover ambition. sandberg sits on the board of disney, our parent company, and there is seemingly endless fascination with her future career moves. it's always in the air, talk of like, oh, sheryl sandberg's going to be the next ceo of the next big shining company. or she's going to run for the white house. do you think donald trump should be worried? >> i'm not running for office. i really love my job at facebook. mark and i were close before,

way he did through this -- there's no one i'd ever want to work with the way i work with mark. i also, and i know this sounds silly, believe more deeply in facebook's mission. facebook in many ways is where our memories are now. >> you wrote about the song from "wicked." the one that says, "for good." because i knew you, i've been changed. ♪ because i knew you because i knew you ♪ ♪ i have been changed for good >> i was changed by dave goldberg. by the joy of being his wife. by the unbelievable opportunity to have children with him and watch him parent, parent with him for 10 years. and i was changed by his death. i'm sadder than i was before. i still have this huge reservoir of sadness and i still businemi so much. i'm also closer with my friends and family and people like mark than i eve

but i can appreciate every moment i have with my children. and maybe through this book i can help other people appreciate that they have those moments now too. up next, this isn't your mom's morning show. why charlemagne the god is speaking truth to breakfast. later, the magic of willy wonka. it's made it to broadway and we have your golden ticket to "charlie and the chocolate factory." opioid-induced constipation. had a bad back injury, my doctor prescribed opioids which helped with the chronic pain, but backed me up big-time. tried prunes, laxatives, still constipated... had to talk to my doctor. she said, "how long you been holding this in?" (laughs) that was my movantik moment. my doctor told me that movantik is specifically designed for oic and can help you go more often.

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let's face it. sometimes the

can be painful, cruel even. and yet it helped make charlemagne the god of hip-hop radio. here's my "nightline" coanchor dan harris. >> he's just crazy. >> reporter: he's one of the brashest voices in american pop culture. >> nothing about you says faithful to a man, nothing. >> that's [ bleep ]. i'm totally faithful. >> reporter: the say anything to anyone hip-hop deejay charlemagne the god. >> are you notoriously late on purpose? >> i don't know, i'm doing better with i heard you're banging every white woman in hollywood -- >> reporter: cohost of what he calls the world's most dangerous morning show. >> y'all saug my name, put some respect on it. i'm putting up with you, [ bleep ]. >> i'm the radio guy, don't act tough. >> reporter: the breakfast club syndicated in more than 70 markets nationwide. >> what's something that you always carry with you? >> hot sauce. >> reporter: he's gone head to head with hillary clinton. >> people are going to say, okay, she's pandering to black people. >> is it working? >> reporter: he's taken on artists like

>> kanye kardashian is in the building. you know what makes me not buy your albums? the new narcissistic egotistical personality turns me off. >> kanye west, you know you're going to call him kanye kardashian, you don't like his most recent album. you get a little sweaty about that? >> no, i don't. because i know it's not coming from a malicious place. i know i'm not trying to be mean. >> you're not trying to be mean? >> no. because those are things that i've said about kanye when he wasn't here. >> right, but isn't that mean? >> no. saying to somebody -- if that's the case siskel and ebert are two of the meanest people that existed on this planet. >> fair enough. i don't think he liked the kardashian thing that seemed like a bit of a taunt. >> then he's got to stop acting like a kardashian. >> reporter: charlemagne like his namesake is trying to build an empire, one that goes beyond on-air trash at all. he hosted a show called "uncommon sense" where he waves into politics.

president barack obama, mr. john pavro is here. >> reporter: also a weekly podcast called "brilliant idiots." a new book with a provocative title. "black privilege." what do you mean by that? >> simply put, i think that it's a privilege to be black. as black people we have access to a divine system that enables us to get through a lot of the obstacles that are thrown at us in america. and helps us to prosper in spite of everything this we've been through. >> do white people not have access to the give vin system? >> that can be debatable, but they do. i feel privilege is divine. >> you're not denying white privilege is real? incarceration rates, education outcomes, those numbers are significant. >> it's absolutely real. i'm not trying to negate white people, i'm not trying to let white people in america off the hook for everything they've done to oppress and marginalize various communities,

all i'm saying is we're special too. >> reporter: part self-help, part memoir. he grew up as leonard in a small town in the south. >> the greatest thing the small town gave me is imagination. a small town made me dream. >> reporter: the small town produced more than a few nightmares during his early years. how many times did you go to jail? >> five or six. >> you were selling crack? >> yeah. i never was a big-time crack dealer, let's be clear. i sold seven grams, a quarter spoon. seven grams of crack that you can make $100 off each gram. >> reporter: he got himself clean and started a career in radio. >> peace to the planet, it is tuesday! >> reporter: where he flourished because of his outsize personali personality. but radio was tumultuous. >> how many times did did you get fired? >> four times from radio. >> reporter: the third time in 2008, he was a cohost on "the wendy williams show." >> are you and wendy on speaking terms? >> no, i haven't talked to wendy in seven years. >> why not? >> had a

husband. >> reporter: these days charlemagne's career is on solid ground with millions tuning in for his signature daily segment. what is donkey of the day? >> i give people the credit they deserve for being stupid. >> donkey of the day for friday is donald j. trump. >> how many times has donald trump been iky of the damoney d >> he leads the pack by far. >> you were critical of him during the campaign. >> i'm still critical of him. we've seen his first 100 days in the white house. it's been utter turmoil and confusion. he's the president i knew from day one wasn't interested in building bridges, he wants to build walls. >> if you want to talk about protecting black communities -- >> reporter: charlemagne has tried to build bridges, creating a relationship with the young conservative firebrand tomi lahren. >> are you friends with tomi lahren? >> no. friends as strong word. she's a media associate. >> you've taken some heat

>> oh, man, did i. >> reporter: many of his fans have been furious he would spend time with somebody like lahren. >> do you think it's justified? or are people overreacting? >> i don't ever have a problem with my community checking me. when they think that i'm moving the wrong way. because i don't have a problem checking somebody. if i think they've moving the wrong way. >> reporter: he's taken fits from all sides but the ambitions of this kid from south carolina have not faded. >> as long as i'm doing my passion with purpose, i'm going to always be happy. i wake up in the morning happy to come to work. i actually love the game of radio. i love this game. this is what i do. that's a big deal! >> reporter: for "nightline," this is dan harris in new york. up next, it may be broadway's sweetest new show. "charlie and the chocolate factory." wish your skin could bounce back like it used to? neutrogena® hydro boost water gel.

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we take some unexpected extra steps to raise healthy chickens with no antibiotics ever. for example, thyme. it's part of our 100% veggie diet and helps support their immune system. perdue. over 200 products no antibiotics ever. finally tonight, it's been called a world of pure imagination. that famous candy man, willy wonka, has made it to broadway. here's abc's paula faris.

he bakes ♪ >> reporter: it's the sweetest new show on broadway. "charlie and the chocolate factory." >> talk about your childhood wishes ♪ ♪ >> reporter: in the movie gene wilder of course was willy wonka. ♪ your imagination >> reporter: now played by tony winner christian borrell. if you were to describe your version of willy wonka, who would he somebody. >> probably equal parts bugs bunny, peter allen, peter laurie -- >> reporter: three different charlies take turns hunting for their golden ticket. what's your favorite line? >> don't you? the wonka ripple scrumptious fudge delight is the best chocolate bar ever made! >> reporter: john rubenstein takes on the role of grandpa joe, made famous by jack albert son in the movie. >> he was a big insulation to me. his big heart. that's what he showed and that's what i try to show

>> reporter: and i end my visit the same place the show ends. in the great glass elevator. what do you think all the little kids out there to take away from this production? >> i hope for them it opens up the idea of imagination. and also to follow sweet charlie bucket's lead and be decent and hopeful. ♪ to see >> reporter: for "nightline" i'm paula faris in new york. ♪ the moon from here >> and how sweet it is. thanks for watching abc news. online at abcnews.com >> hey, everybody, i hope you're ready for some excitement, because when you're playing for a million dollars, drama-- well, it kind of comes with the territory. this is "who wants to be a millionaire." [cheers and applause] welcome to the show. you guys ready to play "millionaire" today? [cheers and applause] me too. our first contestant says there is no amount of money that could ever rival the love she has for

her family, but some extra cash for diaper bills--eh, it can never hurt. from dallas, texas, please welcome mary bierds. [cheers and applause] mary, how you doing? >> great, how are you? [applause] >> welcome to "millionaire." >> i am excited to be here. >> just for you, i wore my dallas cowboy blue uniform for you. >> i appreciate it; thank you. >> got to represent, right? >> yes. >> you're from dallas. >> yes. >> you have two kids. >> yes. >> your youngest is how old? >> four months. >> four months. >> yes. >> how do you have time to even be here? >> um, grandparents are great. [laughs] they're wonderful. >> "here, have this. i'm leaving." >> yes, exactly. >> well, i'm very glad to have you here. >> right. >> this is gonna be a nice respite from being a mom, and i'm just gonna give you a million dollars when this is over, because you're gonna get 14 questions right. >> yes. >> that's what we're gonna do right here. >> that's the plan. >> there's 14 questions standing between you and that $1 million. >> yep, yep, that's right. >> every question you answer correctly moves you one step closer to that top prize.